Sorry for not posting, but like I said on Sowlmates, problems with internet, then moving into another city, no internet so I can only post chapters when I'm at the university! :)

Thank you to all who followed and reviewed AND THANK YOU FOR 400 REVIEWS! It's the 5th most reviewed fanfic of Haikyuu so THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE! :D

Warning : mentions of bare skin, nakedness and nsfw but there is a moment that is really important for Kijime, so it's not put between NSFW warnings. Another, more descriptive moment IS, on the other hand, warned before hand! :)

starrat : I hope you'll like the following chapter as well! :)

Krisia : I hope it's a good sign your brain isn't functioning, then! ;)

Aquafin : It wasn't exactly his fault, so we can't blame Hajime, he tried his best! ;)

pinkdoughtnuts : Birds can be tough, we had lots of little birds too when i was a child. It was amazing how long they lasted, the nastier they were, the more they held onto life.

xxXsilverXxx : Thank YOU for your lovvely review and for supporting my work by reading this entire fanfic and switchinng to Solwmates! :D I'm really happy you found this fanfic to your tastes and you liked it so much and I hope I won't disappoint you in what follows! :) Tahnk you again! xxx

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER XLIV : Imperfect Perfection

"Anyone can love a rose, but it takes a lot to love a leaf. It's ordinary to love the beautiful, but it's beautiful to love the ordinary."

— Unknown

"And love is when someone who even knows your scars, stays to kiss them."

— Benjamin Griss

"The way to love someone is to lightly run your finger over that person's soul until you find a crack, and then gently pour your love into that crack."

— Keith Miller

"If you love someone, no part of them is revolting. Every bloody bit: beautiful."

— Megan Falley, "No Name", After the Witch Hunt

"We never believe we're beautiful, no matter how many times we hear it. We never believe it until someone says it in the right way."

— Francine Prose

"The sign of a beautiful person is he always sees the beauty in others."

— Swami Sivananda

"There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty."

― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

"To love another human in all of her splendor and imperfect perfection, it is a magnificent task… tremendous and foolish and human."

― Louise Erdrich, The Last Report on the Miracles at Little No Horse

Hajime let out a heavy sigh, dropping his pen. Kiku looked up curiously at his strange reaction.

"Why is it so hot when it's only July?" He mumbled annoyingly.

"Should we take a break?" She asked with a smile.

"Yeah…"

They were studying for their finals in her bedroom but the absence of a ventilator and the hot weather made it very difficult for them to focus. While Hajime poured himself some ice tea, he observed Kiku when she stood up and went to her pets' cages.

"I'm going to give Pip and Birb a bath, do you want to come with me? It'll do them good with this heat," she said suddenly.

"They take baths?" He asked curiously.

She nodded and opened the cage, the two birds hopping on her arms then climbing on her shoulders. They kept their balance as she went downstairs, Hajime following her quietly. Pip and Birb both glanced at him curiously.

"Bath! Bath!" Pip squealed happily, swinging his head on the sides excitedly.

"Get out! Get out!" Birb exclaimed, staring at Hajime.

Hajime stuck his tongue out at the bird who squealed in an offended manner, glaring at him. The bird's behavior was a little less problematic since he had saved him in the storm – but he still disliked whenever Hajime distracted Kiku for too long.

Once in the back garden just behind the bakery, Hajime tried not to be too distracted by the scent of bread and patisserie coming from the bakery's kitchen. Kiku took a basin that she filled with a little bit of water then she let both Birb and Pip go into it. They happily jumped down, starting to move their wings and tails to take their bath in an improvised swimming pool. Kiku and Hajime sat on the grass, watching over the happy birds and appreciating the drops of water splashing on them to refresh them.

"They're so lucky, I'd love to get into a swimming pool or anything that's refreshing…" He mumbled, amused by their play in the water.

"Once the holiday will come, you'll be able to go," she answered with a smile.

"You'll come with me," he said casually.

Kiku glanced at him, she didn't say anything but lowered her gaze. He didn't seem to notice her embarrassment as he leaned down and petted Pip who loved the attention.

"By the way, will you tell me about… how you fell in love with me?" He asked, bringing her back on earth.

She glanced up, a little stunned by his question then blushed. He flushed as well but smiled sweetly:

"I mean, you did say you had been in love with me for the last three years so… how did it happen exactly?" He asked.

He had been dying to know for a while but he either forgot or didn't have the occasion to ask her. Now that they were all alone, in a relatively good atmosphere, he found the courage the ask her.

"Come on, I won't judge, but I'm curious!" He added with a chuckle.

It reassured Kiku a little, letting her shoulders drop from the nerves then she started her tale, slowly getting over her embarrassment. She didn't have such a long tale to share considering the very few interactions they had shared before they ended up in the same class.

"I… I don't remember the first day of school, at least not seeing you… b-but I do remember that day I had fallen on someone in winter… It was you, uh?" He mumbled, embarrassed to have fallen on top of a girl who now turned out to be his girlfriend.

He rubbed the back of his neck, turning a little red then he rested his chin against his lifted up knee, thinking deeply about everything that Kiku had told him. He remembered the last bits about her confession when he was asleep a few months ago, at the end of their second-year… and now that she had said it, he remembered a dream… He had dreamt of a girl whose face he couldn't see who had told him beautiful words…

"Thank you for existing… and thank you… for making my heart beat so strongly… it made me feel alive for the first time in my whole life and… and it might have saved my life… and… that's the reason why… I fell in love with you, Iwaizumi-san…"

Hajime blushed even more, realizing that it probably was Kiku from the beginning. How strange to realize he had heard her confession before even meeting her, that he knew her before he fell in love with her…

She was still fumbling her fingers nervously, hoping he wouldn't find her creepy for learning so many things about him when they hadn't even met properly before a few months ago. They had gone through so much, so quickly…

Hajime smiled to her, reassuring her instantly. He wouldn't judge her for falling in love with him without much interactions, if anything he felt even happier to know that she had fallen for his qualities rather than his looks. Few interactions had made him worry about that but now he knew that she had fallen in love with who he really was. Before Kiku had time to breath though, he leaned down and kissed her on the lips. She smiled against his lips, kissing him back and they spent long, peaceful minutes kissing and holding hands while Pip and Birb were having fun in their bath…

Blushing terribly, Kiku pulled away and before Hajime could understand what was going on, she leaned against him, hiding her face in his shoulder and surrounding his chest with her arms. His heart missed a few beats and he swallowed hard at her sudden proximity. He kept supporting himself on one hand, the other coming up to brush away her hair so he could kiss her neck. Kiku stopped breathing for a short moment, shuddering under his lips. Getting embarrassed at the kiss in such a place and the reaction she had had, Hajime swallowed hard once again. He massaged her back to try and calm himself, not understanding why she wanted to be so physically close to him when it was so hot… Not that he minded the hug, but her body pressed against his was way too distracting and he felt like the temperature kept rising.

His eyes met Birb's who was watching him suspiciously, while Pip was still splashing around, occasionally squealing "Kiss! Kiss!" probably just to embarrass the couple even more.

Kiku took in his warmth and enjoyed the rare occasion of physical proximity. It wasn't that Hajime didn't show his love for her, but it usually was when they were all alone which was a rather rare occasion. And recently, they were mostly spending time studying which led to no physical proximity. Except a few long and intense kisses they had shared once after a successful cinema date (last week-end, they had both been so wary after their disastrous first date that it was a relief when the end of the day arrived and nothing wrong had happened) they hadn't done anything else but hold hands. She didn't even get a hug since they had fallen asleep in her bed during the storm. It wasn't that she was desperate for him because she was glad they remained discreet in public, but she wished that when they were with their friends or together he'd show a bit more attention to her. So this long hug and his reassuring hand in her back were a huge comfort. She drank all of the sensations drunkenly, knowing she might not have another opportunity to hug him for a long while.

Hajime noticed a scar on her shoulder and he kept his lips thin. He couldn't help himself and brushed his fingers against it, feeling the hardened, white skin against his fingertip. He knew where these scars came from, and he had seen a little bit of it on his birthday party, when she had asked him to unzip her dress… He felt a little sick thinking of it. How much physical pain she must have endured if it left such scars… He couldn't imagine it.

Under his touch, growing uncomfortable when he seemed to focus on one of her scar on her shoulder, Kiku moved away from him but he didn't seem to notice the reason why. His gaze was lost in thoughts, lips thin, he was almost scowling while his finger continued to brush her scar. Swallowing hard, heart beating strongly and not for the good reason against her chest, Kiku spoke up:

"H-Hajime?"

He startled and turned to her, back on earth.

"Yeah?"

She hesitated, glancing down in shame then moving away from him. Just enough so that he couldn't reach her shoulder. He seemed to understand her lack of comfort and looked away.

"Do you… are you…"

She took a deep, shaky breath then looked up at him, trying to maintain her gaze – but she blushed furiously.

"Do you… want to see them…?" She asked in a hushed voice.

His heart missed a beat, his eyes widened and his lips fell open.

"Y-you mean… your scars?" He asked to be sure he had understood well.

She nodded, still blushing and he flushed as well, swallowing the knot in his throat.

"B-but y-you'd have to… take off…"

He vaguely pointed in the direction of her upper body, she glanced down, hands clenched nervously. He wasn't sure because she avoided looking in his direction now but he thought he had seen fear in her eyes…

"I-I know…" She breathed.

She looked up at him and he understood what she wanted.

"Oh." Was all he could say, blushing.

He straightened up suddenly and glanced away nervously. Both fell silent now. Until Kiku forced her lips to open so she could talk:

"I-I know w-we have been dating for… only a month or so b-but… I-I think… you should know what… you're getting yourself into…" She whispered, shame making her heart beat hollowly.

She didn't want him to see her scars, ever. It was the ugliest part of her body, but if they continued their relationship, eventually he'd see her body and her scars. She couldn't do much but if he disliked her body she'd try her best to change it, shape it into whatever he wanted… but she could never get rid off the scars covering her back. He'd have to deal with it, he'd have to see them. She hated these scars, it disgusted her, but she hoped he would not be nearly as disgusted as she felt when she saw them… Otherwise… he would never put his hands on her, he'd never desire her the way she desired him.

"…What do you mean by that?" He asked, a little confused by her tone of voice.

"I-I'm not pretty, I'm fat, my body is covered in scars… I-it's not pretty at all and–"

"It's not true at all! You're beautiful! You're not fat, you're just a little curvy but it's adorable! And I don't care about your scars!" He exclaimed vehemently.

She glanced up at him, a little saddened by his words even though he wanted to comfort her. He didn't see her as a desirable woman, he just saw her as his "adorable girlfriend". He said he didn't care but the only times he had seen a little bit of her scars, he had closed off and walked away. He said she was just curvy but he had never seen her body. How could he say these words so convincingly when he didn't know what was under her clothes?

Unable to hold his determined gaze, she looked away, lips tight. He seemed so determined to prove her otherwise – not to show his love for her and her body, but just the determination to hate the world that had hurt her. Disheartened, her shoulders dropped and she wondered, not for the first time, if Hajime's feelings for her truly were love and desire to be with her. Sometimes it felt as if he just wanted to take a revenge on the world and life. She didn't think he used her or didn't like her, but perhaps… he was just mistaking his feelings of pity and admiration for "love". If it were the case, she couldn't blame him but if… if he could just show a little bit more care on an everyday basis instead of letting her take his hand once in a while… if he could just kiss her in front of their friends without looking so embarrassed and almost ashamed… if he could touch her body without looking disgusted…

Perhaps, just perhaps, it really was love…

Slowly understanding that she was feeling down, though he wasn't sure he understood the reasons why – was it at the mention of her scars? Were the memories coming back? Hajime rubbed the back of his neck once again, too embarrassed to keep a correct line of thoughts.

"L-look… u-um… we've been dating for… only a month and uh… wouldn't it be a little too fast? I mean we never really… did anything other than kiss so… um…"

"Which is why I want to… why I want you to see my scars… so that I… we can both know if you can accept me, and my body… and everything that come with it…"

"You know I like you for the good and the bad," he said, starting to feel a little trapped.

"But you didn't see the bad!" She exclaimed.

He startled at her voice rising and she immediately felt guilty. She lowered her head and let her shoulders drop, then turned towards Pip and Birb who had stopped cleaning themselves to watch what they were doing.

"I-I'm s-sorry… I… I can't ask you that of you… I might ave been in love with you for a long time, but… not you… I can't expect so much of you so soon. I… I would understand if you don't feel… if you don't want to do anything with me…" She said, avoiding showing her expression by approaching the birds.

She showed her arms and they both hopped up before climbing all the way to her shoulders, occasionally shaking their feathers, splashing the couple but the heavy silence was making it hard for the atmosphere to feel refreshing any longer.

Hajime watched her sadly, now feeling guilty for making her think he didn't want her – on the contrary, the few times they had touched or been too physically close, it had been hell for him to control himself. He knew that if they kissed and hugged or let themselves go too hot he wouldn't be able to control himself… He didn't want to hurt Kiku by letting his desires take over, but he didn't want to hurt her by thinking he didn't want her.

"I'm taking Pip and Birb back to their cages. If you want to continue studying, it's no problem," she said, advancing towards the door.

He stood up to follow her, Birb turning around and glaring at him for making his mommy sad:

"Get out! Get out!" He exclaimed vividly.

It made Pip look around as well, but he just squealed curiously, tilting his head on a side in confusion when he saw Hajime remain behind. Once she had disappeared from view, he let a big sigh then passed his hands over his face. He had no idea what to do at the moment. He hesitated in asking help to Oikawa but… it felt too intimate to ask him anything. Plus, he'd probably be overjoyed at the turn of events and would push him to the action.

Kiku was sitting on the low table where they had been studying, staring at her notebook without trying to write anything. Hajime went to his side of the table and hesitated – should he pack up? Did she want to leave or…? He grabbed his pen, nervously letting it twist over his fingers – Kiku took it as a sign that they were continuing to study… But neither could focus or do anything, constantly glancing at each other from the corner of their eyes, an undesirable tension between them…

Finally, after long minutes of useless studying, after his mind had wandered a little too far, Hajime dropped his pen, attracting Kiku's attention to him. He bent over the distance separating them and kissed her on the lips. She was surprised by the sudden kiss but before she could answer, he pulled away, blushing.

"I can't focus anymore, now that you got me all fuzzy and warm…" He mumbled, leaning down once again.

She opened her lips to say something but he didn't let her, swallowing her quiet words in his kiss. After some hesitation, she kissed him back, holding onto his chest to keep herself grounded to something. He deepened the kiss and just around the time when he would have normally stopped, he forced himself to not stop. But he kept his emotions and sensations in check, just focusing on… whatever would happen. His hands went to her hips and she didn't react until he hesitantly let his hands go under her shirt. She startled a little at his unexpected touch and his first reflex was to pull away. He was about to apologize, already breaking their kiss but Kiku didn't let him. She leaned down to force a kiss on his lips, clumsily and impatiently, she grabbed his wrists, pulling his hands back on her hips.

Hajime gasped into the kiss and startled, almost about to fall over from her bold move. But by trying to catch himself, his leg hit the table. Both jumped by the loud sound it made, especially when a half-filled glass of ice tea fell over. Kiku gasped, catching it but the damage was done – half of her notebook was wet and the rest of the ice tea had fallen on her shirt and shorts, soaking her terribly.

"I-I'm so sorry!" Hajime exclaimed, trying to dry the area frenetically.

Blushing madly because of his touch on her skin that had provoked it all, he reached for the nearest kitchen paper, pushing as much as he could on the notebook and pond of ice tea. Kiku pushed away everything that hadn't been dampened to keep them from getting any damage but before she could reach the kitchen paper to dry off what she could of her notebook, Hajime was already doing so. He managed to save her notebook and what was written in it but before she could do anything, he turned to her and put some more kitchen paper on her wet clothes, even though it didn't seem to work. He was just so embarrassed it was his only way to deal with the situation.

"H-Hajime…" She called, grabbing his wrists.

"I-I'm so sorry!" He exclaimed, still pushing a handful of kitchen paper on her clothes.

Kiku stopped breathing and blushed when he touched an area that was a little too intimate. He must have sensed her freezing because he froze as well and slowly realized where his hands were. He straightened up suddenly, blushing and dropping the wet kitchen towel.

"I-I'm so sorry! I-I didn't mean to! I swear!" He exclaimed, blushing so much he was feeling dizzy.

Kiku didn't answer but relaxed a little, cleaning herself as best as she could while he covered his face with his hands, too embarrassed to look at her, mumbling to himself.

"This is why we shouldn't have done anything…! I'm not good at this sort of things…! Damn it, it's too embarrassing…! I can't do it – I can't…! It's too much…!"

His voice was smothered against his hands but not enough for Kiku to not hear. She finished cleaning the table then stood up, looking down at her clothes.

"Kissing on the floor next to the table was such a bad idea…! I'm such an idiot…!" He continued mumbling.

Kiku sighed and rolled her eyes at his overflow of embarrassment. He was friend with Hanamaki (and Oikawa and Matsukawa), how could he get so embarrassed at such a little thing?

She grabbed his hands, forcing him to look up at her curiously, not understanding what she was doing. She forced him to stand up then pushed him towards her bed, forcing him to sit down then she sat next to him.

"Here, nothing is going to be hit or fall over," she said, his hands still in hers.

He flushed just as she leaned to kiss him. He pulled away, grabbing her shoulders.

"W-wait! I just! I'm sorry but…! Y-you should, you're wet!" He exclaimed, glancing at her wet clothes.

Kiku blushed at his choice of words and remained still. He gasped when he realized what he just said and blushed as well.

"Ah! I'm! I'm so sorry, I-I didn't mean it this way!"

"Stop apologizing, kiss me and mean it this way," she mumbled, kissing him on the lips.

She tried to kiss him intensely, the way he sometimes did, but it ended up clumsy and they both fell over, Kiku on top of him. Despite the initial hesitation, he kissed her back, hands going to her cheeks before he pulled away with big eyes:

"Wait! Your parents! What if they catch us?!" He exclaimed, frightened at the idea of what Shouta might do to him if he were to walk in at this moment.

"They won't."

"How can you know?!"

"They never bother me if I'm stable. They know how to respect my privacy," she explained, leaning down for another kiss.

"But I'm here!" He hissed.

"In all the times you came over to study, has there been one time they came up to check on us? No, because they trust us."

"They won't trust us anymore if we get caught!"

"Hajime…!" She growled.

Exasperated and feeling like he was just running away, she straightened up and rolled away from him, pulling up her legs together and sulking a little. Hajime sat up as well, pouting guiltily. He closed his eyes, sighing and passing a hand over his face.

"I'm… I'm sorry… I'm just… not used to us being… like that…" He mumbled, staring down at his legs, "I… I wouldn't mind getting used to it b-but… it's embarrassing and… and…"

His voice trailed off when Kiku didn't react. He hesitated then moved closer to her. He awkwardly tried to surround her shoulders with his arm but decided against it – it would be more of a friendly hug than a comforting touch. He put his right hand on her back then leaned down, kissing her temple. With her position it was clumsy but he tilted his head and managed to kiss her nose. A smile finally broke on her face and she chuckled a little as he slid his fingers under her chin to lift up her face. He closed his eyes, leaning down to kiss her but she suddenly stood up from the bed. He almost fell over at how sudden it had been.

"W-what did I do wrong this time…?" He asked hesitantly.

She glanced at him from over her shoulders, blushing then she answered:

"…Nothing but… you did say you wouldn't mind getting used to it, right?"

His eyes widened, an even redder blush taking over his cheeks while she grabbed the sides of her shirt. He stopped breathing but she glanced at him once again, blushing terribly.

"C-could you… look away… please…?" She asked in a hushed voice.

Hajime immediately covered his face with his hands, his heart beating badly and stomach fluttering warmly when he heard her take off her shirt.

Kiku took a deep breath, shaking a little when she took off her bra as well. She swallowed hard and glanced at Hajime, who still covered his face with his hands. It gave her enough time to calm a little, knowing why she was doing this. She used her arms to cover her breasts, even if it didn't work much then, she slowly sat on her bed. Hajime didn't move, waiting for her signal.

"I-it's okay…" She whispered, blushing.

Slowly, Hajime pulled away his hands from his face then glanced up, eyes sparkling when they met hers. For a short moment, they only looked into each other's eyes then Kiku glanced away and he slowly looked at her body. She was using her arms to hide her breasts, but he could still see their curves. As expected, her hips and waist were curvy and part of him wanted to squish it and touch her but he stopped himself when he caught sight of her back. Swallowing hard, Hajime moved a little closer to Kiku, behind her to "know what he was getting himself into". He heard her intake of breath as he touched her shoulders, his eyes going up and down on the length of her back.

"D-does it hurt…? Can I… can I touch…?" He asked softly, trying to catch her expression but her hair kept him from seeing.

She shook her head no at his first question, then she glanced at him over her shoulders, eyes filled with… with shame. Shame and fear that he'd feel disgusted by the sight or the touch, that he would reject her for that… It felt like a blow in his stomach when Hajime realized the reasons why she wanted so badly to show her scars to him. It wasn't just about desire or lust or anything… it was because she wanted him to accept all of her. He had already accepted it all, but it was natural her doubts and insecurities would remain. She didn't know he had seen the pictures of her injuries from the police file… but somehow, seeing them as scars was worse. It was one thing to see a bloody injury. It was another to see the mark it had left for life.

Slowly, he let his fingers brush over the skin, tracing the scars. She shuddered at his touch and lowered her head but didn't move away. He could feel the difference between the soft skin left untouched and the hard skin that had been wounded. From her shoulders to the base of her back, white marks covered her back in random lines. Some were wider than others – from deeper cuts. On her left side, he could see the big scar from that night when Himura had broken a vase against her. In the center of her back… the scars were so numerous, accumulated in one place that it was only a big patch of white, rough skin which felt so unnatural against his fingers. He almost felt as if he had blood on his hands just by touching the scars left by so many wounds years ago. He could only imagine the pain she had endured, the tears she had cried, the harsh pain left on her back that would resonate with her heart…

Kiku didn't say anything. She didn't do anything. She just let him watch her back, not realizing that he watched with sadness, compassion and love instead of disgust, shock and aversion as she imagined. She let his fingers wander all over the scars, tracing each and every one of them, understanding the story behind it, what had happened, the pain it had left even to this day… Then, slowly, Hajime moved forward.

He kissed her left shoulder, where the biggest scar started. His lips were so soft and warm, his hands just staying on her sides that she immediately looked up, tears filling her eyes. Her heart beat faster. She was about to turn around to make sure of what was happening, that she wasn't imagining it, to see his face but… before she could, Hajime kissed another scar on her shoulder. Once again, it left her trembling with emotions. He kissed her other shoulder and she was out of breath. He kissed another scar and she swallowed the lump in her throat, lips trembling. He kissed softly, tenderly, all the scars he could kiss while sitting behind her before kissing his way back to her shoulder. At this point, she had closed her eyes, shaking from emotions to feel his soft lips kissing her hideous scars. He hadn't moved away, he hadn't been disgusted. She had hoped he would be capable of looking at her scars without feeling abhorrence. She had prayed he might be able to touch her someday. But never in her wildest dreams she had imagined he'd be capable of kissing her scars.

He kissed her shoulder, then the side of her neck and instinctively, she leaned her head away to give him more access to her neck. Partly because she felt too overwhelmed to do anything else. He kept his hands softly against her arms and he glanced at her face while he kissed her neck softly. Her eyes were closed tightly, her cheeks were red – form embarrassment and held-back tears… He closed his eyes again, kissing the soft skin of her neck, then the tiniest of scars, almost invisible, that were on her neck and on the side of her face. She let out a heavy breath and he opened his eyes. Softly, he pulled her against him, so she rested against his chest and she seemed relieved – she was so shaky it was a miracle she hadn't collapsed down yet. Hajime's eyes looked down. At her neck, her clavicles, the curves of her breasts, mostly hidden by her arms… He saw a black mark over her left breast and he was shocked to see a tattoo before remembering she had one – she had told him she'd have to take off her clothes to show it to him and now he understood why… His touch as delicate as a feather's, his hands brushed the length of her arms until he reached her wrists and gently pulled away. She tried to hold on at first but she was so shaky she let go and he could see her breasts in all of their glory.

He let out a heavy breath, warmth filling him and for a moment, he needed to hide his face against her shoulder. He took a deep breath and smelling her scent of lemon comforted him. He knew he was too far gone to be in total control of his arousal but the moment had been too important, too soft to have thought of it. Even now, he felt as if it was his absolute duty to prove to Kiku that he loved her body. And gods, did he love her body…

He gently pushed her down on the bed and she laid down obediently, as he looked down at her body, eyes glazed over by growing lust. Now he could see all of her and his heart beat faster. She kept her hands near her face, watching him nervously while he took his time looking her up and down. She had some body fat on her hips and waist, but it wasn't enough to enter his category of "fat". She just looked lovely. He could make the shape of her waist and he could even see her ribs, moving up and down with her breathing. There was a line he traced with his fingers, from her ribs to her adorable belly button. Her hipbones were visible too – not a sharp bone like he always saw in magazines or on tv, just touchable without feeling like he might get cut or hurt her with his strong hold. She had white marks on her hips and sides as well – stretch marks. She just looked so touchable. Then he looked back up to her breasts… Plump, generous, and so soft-looking skin. More stretch marks, and the skin was so thin he could see her veins… On her left breast, a little sentence was written in black "Still alive" in a beautiful writing. Her tattoo was pulsing to the rhythm of her heart, a constant reminder that despite everything she had gone through she was still alive.

He let her hands wander a little, slowly, barely feeling her skin but knowing it was enough at the moment. From her hips to the sides of her breasts, he slowly took in her body the way no one else had ever done before… Stretch marks, veins, soft skin, lovely body fat… All of these little imperfections made her even more perfect than she already was in his eyes. He loved her so much – all of her.

Looking back into her eyes, he saw the anxious question she was silently asking him, her blue eyes shining from unshed tears.

"You're beautiful…" He breathed.

His voice shook from emotions, his eyes sparkled from love and tenderness and maybe he was a little teary-eyed as well… he didn't feel like "beautiful" was a strong enough word to describe the way he felt about her body, but his feelings must have reached Kiku because silent tears of relief finally rolled down her eyes. She laughed in ecstasy, all of her anxiety and insecurities washed away own sake as Hajime, just as giddy as she felt, leaned down. He kissed her forehead, grinning happily to finally see her smile. His hands cupped her cheeks and he kissed her nose, forcing her hands away.

"Hey, cupcake… did you ever doubt it…?" He whispered against her lips, looking into her eyes, their hearts full of love, "I told you I like you, all of you, the good and the bad… and everything in between…" He murmured.

She nodded, too relieved and happy to be capable of words. He captured her lips for a long, tender kiss. Her hands went against his cheeks, and feeling a little too hot, he took off his shirt quickly, hoping it'd lessen the temperature as he let his body fall against hers, their warmth pressed together. It didn't work, if anything he felt even hotter which didn't help at all when she softly let her hands wander over his arms and shoulders. He could feel her heartbeat from her breast pressed against his chest, a happy melody he longed to hear for years and years to come. She could feel his frenetic heartbeat – just how much she made him feel, how much happiness – resonating against her body.

They kissed for a long time, softly, until he started kissing her jaw and neck, this time a little more impatiently then before, slowly going down. Every time he kissed her skin, she seemed to shudder a little more under his touch. Reaching her breasts, Hajime closed his eyes, biting on his lower lip to keep his grin at bay but unable to fight it as he brushed the soft skin with her fingers and his nose. Then he softly started kissing her breasts, massaging with his other hand. It made Kiku squeal and he realized he loved the sound, it sent waves of contentment and arousal through his body, his stomach clenching whenever he could feel the ample breasts trembling against his hands or under his mouth. He could get addicted to it. A little overwhelmed by the sensations, he let his forehead rest against her stomach, trying to focus on his own arousal that was getting a little too hard to ignore. He swallowed hard, letting one of his hand discreetly go towards his crotch to try to lessen the pressure. She must have thought he was finished because her hands went into his hair and caressed the spiky hair for a moment, until she heard his growl.

Kiku glanced down curiously at Hajime and he bit on his lower lip, realizing the sound had escaped him. Her eyes caught sight of his hand and he quickly pulled it away to lift himself up and away from her body so he could try to think it away.

"Do you… are you…?" She asked softly.

"U-um… n-nggh… y-yeah…" He mumbled, too embarrassed to look at her in the eyes.

She sat up, blushing and staring at him but he looked away, trying to hide his problem.

"D-don't w-worry I'll… just… in a moment…" He whispered, trying to think of anything else but his half-naked and curvy girlfriend sitting next to him.

"I-it's all right… I-it makes me happy…" She said when she saw the shameful embarrassment on his face.

He looked surprised and looked at her with wide eyes:

"R-really? B-but…"

She nodded vividly, and her cheeks blushed even more when she glanced down at what he was desperately trying to hide with how he was keeping his legs and arms together.

"Do you… um… want me to… do something…?" She asked softly, approaching him.

He hissed, out of total embarrassment and even if he had a few dozens of ideas going through his head at the moment, he felt clueless when it came to the actual deal. He didn't move his hands away until Kiku took his wrists and pushed them away – just like he had pulled away her arms from her breasts a few minutes ago. He looked up at the ceiling, aware of the embarrassing bulge in his pants he had tried to keep down. He had never had an erection anywhere else but in his room, he had always kept himself in check and it was the first time anyone was in the same room as him when it happened. The fact that it was his adorable girlfriend didn't help at all.

He clenched his fists on the sides as she struggled with his belt and the zipper of his pants considering that, despite his desire, for some stupid reason, he tried to keep his hips down on the mattress as much as possible and he didn't want to help her go through it.

"D-don't… y-you don't have to do… anything…" He whispered, finally looking back at Kiku.

She looked up at him and despite the blush on her cheeks, she smiled happily, eyes sparkling.

"It's all right, I'm happy to do it… You made me feel happy about myself, I want to do the same for you."

He swallowed hard, nervous, but she leaned and kissed him, her breasts brushing his chest. It reassured them both a little as she let her hand touched his hard-on. He gasped, clenching his jaw. Kiku bit on her lower lip in focus then looked down.

"U-um, I-I don't want to hurt you… h-how…"

She made a move with her hands, not knowing how to take off his boxers when he wasn't cooperating. Hajime opened his lips, about to tell her that she didn't need to do anything but he also knew that she was too stubborn. He swallowed hard and hesitantly reached down pushing off his boxers and pants just enough for his erection to meet the air. Kiku didn't dare look at him in the eyes, or at the arousal, and he didn't dare do or say anything either.

After a moment of silence and stillness, her hand reached for his hard-on, making him gasp. She moved her hand up and down a little, trying not to focus on the heat, or the length or the sensations too much so she could focus on what she was doing. Hajime quickly realized she had done her studies because she knew what she was doing – at the very least, she seemed to know. Her moves were a little clumsy, but she definitely knew what she was supposed to do.

Realizing he had been holding his breath, he took a deep one and was about to tell her something when suddenly, her lips kissed his erection, before slowly starting to take him in her mouth. He gasped, startling and grabbing the sheets around him. He could see her back covered in scars and he closed his eyes tightly. It wasn't that he didn't want to look at her scars but the general idea of a girl, of his girlfriend giving him a blowjob, the first blowjob of his life was…!

"O-oh… f-fuck…" He whispered, sensations started to get a little too intense.

He moved around, not knowing what to do, overwhelmed by the electrifying sensations taking over him. He felt full of love for Kiku but what she was doing to him, even if she was technically a beginner, was a thousand times better than everything he had ever imagined.

"O-oh! W-wait…! K-Kiku!" He called, moving around his arms desperately, holding onto the curtains, the window, then the sheets again.

He swallowed hard, head falling against the window, his breathing getting uneven, almost panicked. His hips bucked up a little and an electrifying sensation shot through his body, a familiar and yet new sensation. He was close, he could feel it but it was so different from his boring masturbating that it almost shook him off.

"W-wait! K-Kiku! S-stop!"

He was too close and he tried to warn her, to grab her shoulders but it was too late. He came, his head hitting the window, biting hard on his lips to keep down his scream. Only a growl escaped him, his hands clenching Kiku's hair that he had grabbed at the last moment. His orgasm was… mind blowing. Definitely the best he ever had and it took him long seconds of ecstasy, not knowing where he was, to come back on earth.

It was only when Kiku moved away from him, coughing loudly that he realized what just happened. Panic filled him as she coughed, his white cum rolling down her chin, her hand coming up to try to keep herself as clean as possible – she hadn't seen it coming, despite his words. She hadn't expected him to come and she had almost choked when the warm liquid had hit her throat.

"I'm! I'm so sorry! A-are you okay?" Hajime asked worriedly, quickly grabbing her shoulders to check on her.

She whizzed a little, wiping away what was on her chin but smiled in embarrassment.

"S-sorry for that…" She murmured awkwardly.

He stared at her then laughed blissfully.

"Don't apologize! Definitely not! I-it was…!"

She smiled, blushing terribly as he leaned down to kiss her lips softly. It was his clumsy way to express his feelings and to thank her for the first and best blowjob of his life. He pulled away and they glanced down at his crotch while he covered himself..

"…I-it's a mess… let me clean up while you get dressed…" He mumbled, standing up and pulling up correctly boxers and pants, hurrying with his belt.

Kiku opened and closed her lips but he was already reaching for the kitchen paper to clean up the mess on his pants and on her bed. She swallowed hard, the taste of his cum lingering in her mouth. She put on her bra and shirt, without Hajime ever glancing her way. Either because he was busy erasing the proofs of what they had done or because he was too embarrassed to look her way, she couldn't tell. He put on his shirt as well then, satisfied about the innocent look of the bed despite what they had done, he sighed in relief.

"…Gods I pray your parents didn't hear anything or I'm dead…!" He whispered.

She chuckled at his reaction, standing up and kissing his jaw.

"Don't worry, they won't do anything to you. A-and… I-I'm really happy… of everything that had happened today…" She whispered.

He glanced down at her then smiled tenderly, cupping her cheeks and brushing his nose against hers, making her chuckle adorably.

"Me too… I'm glad you… started the topic… not just because of the ending but… I'm glad you're comfortable enough to talk to me…" He said, kissing her lips quickly.

She smiled but he already turned around, glancing down at his pile of notebooks and books.

"I should probably go… it's getting late and I told my mom I'd help her with the groceries tonight…"

"All right, see you tomorrow then?"

She accompanied him downstairs and kissed him goodbye. Hajime walked with a giddy smile on his face, but froze when he crossed path with Shouta who was coming back from putting the trash away.

"You studied well?" He asked the boy with a smile.

Hajime thought back on the last part of their "study session" and blushed, unable to meet the man's eyes.

"U-um, y-yeah… it was… great…" He mumbled, trying to hurry past Shouta.

He blinked and followed him with his gaze, his eyes narrowing slightly.

"…Your hair is messy."

Hajime startled and froze in his tracks.

"And your clothes are disheveled. Your might want to zip up your pants."

Hajime glanced down and gasped, realizing he had forgotten to zip his pants! He was such an idiot! He quickly zipped it up, too ashamed and embarrassed to turn around and meet his Shouta's eyes. His girlfriend's father. His girlfriend who just gave him a blowjob.

"Go home safely, then!" Shouta exclaimed cheerfully, going back inside the bakery.

Hajime glanced over his shoulder, feeling like an idiot, and like his lifespan had shortened considerably. And he had been so adamant on being discreet – he had just revealed it all by forgetting to zip his pants!

He was still cursing himself and his stupidity when he arrived home, going straight into his bedroom, dropping his bag and falling into his bed, mumbling against his pillow.

"How did the study session with Kiku-chan go~?"

Hajime jumped, holding back a scream and staring at Oikawa who was casually sitting against the side of his bed, reading a manga. He was smiling like he usually did and Hajime didn't know if he was being earnest in his question, or if he was teasing. Hajime swallowed hard, but blushed anyway, which made his friend raise a curious eyebrow.

"U-um, w-well… yeah, well… it went well…" He mumbled, trying not to look suspicious.

Oikawa stared at him for a long moment, then he put down the manga and turned around, arms crossed over the edge of the bed, a knowing smile on his face.

"Did she give you a blowjob~?" He asked teasingly.

Hajime gasped, blushing even more and panicked because how the hell did he guess such a thing…?! He would have denied but he knew that it was too late and his reaction had betrayed him.

"H-how…?!" He hissed.

"Well, firstly, you're a little obvious. Secondly…"

Oikawa pulled out his phone and showed him a bunch of pictures. From the angle and with the window in between, there was no asking who had taken these pictures. It wasn't explicit but it was obvious that Kiku and him were probably naked and that she was leaning down towards his crotch. To give him a blowjob. At this point, Hajime was just too tired to curse Hanamaki – yet.

"Who–"

"Only Mattsun and I~! We didn't want to corrupt the innocent minds of the second and first years by sending the pictures on the entire team's group chat~!" He hummed, happy for his friend.

Hajime just fell back on his bed, hiding his face in his pillow but his ears were red from embarrassment to have been caught by Hanamaki of all people. He had completely forgotten who was Kiku's neighbor.

"So! Tell me everything! I want to know the details~! How was it~?" Oikawa asked impatiently.

If he had been a dog, he would have wiggled his tail but Hajime ignored him, mumbling incoherent sentences against his pillow. The Ace cursed his so-called-friends for spying on him and embarrassing him (how will he tell such a thing to Kiku?!) and cursed himself for his lack of discretion… And while Oikawa whined he did hear a tiny sentence from Hajime that sounded an awful lot like "It felt great".

So, the NSFW is going to start from now on, little by little, with lots of innuedno and not much action for the moment. I'll try to give it a different dynamic from Sowlmates where Bokuto is the one going lustfully after AYaka, in this story I'll try to turn it into Kiku going after Hajime! ;) I had promised you the NSFW, it's coming, I hope you'll like it and I'll manage to keeptheir souls pure despite it all~! :3

Thank you again and don't hesitate tto tell me what you thought! :D

Yours Truly,

May