Chapter 50

Still I live, is this some sort of joke or is this the afterlife? Is this a dream or is this an extension of the endless punishment which I deserve? Why? Why has it not end yet?

"Curse you, you are a thing that do not deserve to live,"

Why now of all time, I remember his words, my hated enemy, my master, my friend.

True, I don't deserve to live. And yet, still I live.

…

This I don't need, this fake peace, this fake dream and this fake afterlife. Give me battles, more battles, that's all I am good at, that's all I have left.

I am a weapon, no more no less.

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When Shirogane Takeru came to, he was standing on the isolated hill of the Yokohama UN base, standing with his back resting against the dead Sakura tree. He felt confused and immediately tried to retrace his memory.

The day before, he got to skip the early one on one training with Hayase. Thing got a little weird between them after he groped her by accident. Then, after that, it was just training and training and even more training with the squad, nothing unusual. Then, late in the night, he got some extra hours to practice with his new machine whilst everyone else had their free hours.

He still visited Marimo when he had some free time. Still, she didn't wake up, not yet.

While there was nothing unusual about his daily day to day basis, he always felt something wrong within himself, especially his ability to control his TSF. He felt that he could do so much better in the battle, faster, stronger, deadlier… and yet, it was not the reality. He was so much slower than he thought he would be, slower, duller and weaker, like a rusted weapon, like an incomplete piece of work. The more he fought in those simulations, the less he understood about his capability and limitation. It was exactly like what he felt during the trail of the XM3 where he fell to the escaped BETA. He measured himself incorrectly and thus he paid for his mistakes. He had yet to tell anyone about this, not Yuuko, not Isumi, fearing that they would exclude him out of the roster.

First, it was the monster inside of him that took away his control during battle, now it was he himself who was the problem. If he was in the position of Captain Isumi, he doubted that he would allow such unstable individual to watch their back. Luckily, Isumi and the co had not found anything unusual about him and his performance recently. They thought that it was just the usual, since he was similar to Hayase in the way that they both had a high risk high reward approach to the battle. It would not be strange if he was to make mistake here and there.

And still, the days went on and the boy still had no clue to why he was standing on the isolated hill.

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He had only one role, it was either to mess up Captain Isumi's game plan by constantly harass her formation with his speed or getting 1t Lt. Kazama out of the fight. He had only one role.

The boy clicked his tongue as he slammed the pedal, forcing his machine into a corkscrew motion in a hurry. Annoying, he thought, trying to trick his opponent into overshooting herself with one trick after another but never got much success. She was cautious, extremely so. She fought carefully, maintaining her distance extremely well, never give him so much a chance to close in. She outgunned him by the factor of two and packed with more armaments than he could possibly match, the only way he could get her at close range was to nab her by her rear, and that was almost impossible as long as she would not make any mistake.

The boy kept moving, trying to find an opportunity to exploit. However, his opponent was aware of his bag of tricks and constantly apply pressure on him to keep him at bay while chasing him. She had no desire of having him run free, unchecked, he's too dangerous to leave alone. If anyone who can mess up her team's game plan alone, it had to be his boy. Even Hayase who boasted the greatest fighting prowess among A01 could not do it, and yet, this boy could do it, bring chaos into their game plan and forced them to commit unredeemable mistakes. And she understood that well enough to turn their battle into that of attrition.

The boy clicked his tongue, firing his back cannons at his opponent to shake her off, barely effective, she forcefully dodged, awkward, but that was enough. He immediately made a quick turn with his machine, planting his feet on a nearby building, using it as a jumping platform to execute a boost jump, trying to capitalize on his opponent's mistake. Blade in one hand, gun in the other, he plunged at the other machine with dizzying speed. His gun spat flame at his opponent's machine, whizzed. The other machine hit the reverse thrusters into a rocket jump in midair, a weak backward boost, narrowly avoid the boy's line of fire and retaliated with a salvo of 66mm shells. The boy gave chase, avoiding the dancing shells and zigzagging on the ground to kick up some dust before launching into the air with a rocket jump of his own.

Not giving the boy an opportunity to close in, the other machine hit the double boost, leaping a good 300 meter into the air.

Clicked his tongue, the boy resisted his urge to curse. He wished that there was a sharpshooter in his team to prevent 1st Lt. Kazama to pull this kind of move on him. His current wingman Munakata had her hands tied, dealing with Akane and Haruko to allow the rest of his team to focus their attack on the rest of the Alpha team.

This would put him a difficult spot. He could not lose sight that machine, any machine but that one. It was 1st Lt. Kazama's machine. She was the corner stone of the Alpha team. With all that firepower of a Blast Guard, she could do insane damage within a blink of an eye. If he was able to grab her, it would be as significant as grabbing a snake on its tail. And yet, if he was to give chase, boosting into the air like that in the same manner, the three sharpshooters in the Alpha team would have a clear line of sight to his machine.

In an instant, the boy made his decision, probably the worst decision he made in years, chasing after 1st L.t Kazama's machine all alone. Hayase was so going to kill him if he got shot out of the battle like that, he grimaced at the thought.

A warning flashed across his HUD. A 120mm whizzed by his machine and the boy stomped the pedal, forcing his machine to accelerate into the second stage boost, faster, just in time to evade yet another 120mm, close so very close to hitting him. One more, he expected another 120mm shell coming from the ground, but instead greeted by a fury of 66mm and a couple heatseekers from above. It was 1st Lt. Kazama, she was coordinating the attack with the sharpshooters in her team.

Out of reflex, the boy emptied the main chamber of his twin Jump units, forcing his machine into a third boost jump, veering off to his two hour while dropping some flares to counter the heatseekers, that was the last boost jump he could possibly execute in a while.

Ah, he thought, ah, he was so fucking screwed. The very instant he hit the third boost jump, he knew that he was screwed and he regretted. This was their play, he felt right into their trap. This was when Tama would pull her trigger, the boy understood immediately. This was a set up.

He twisted his machine in desperation, trying and immediately felt the shock. He could not evade. There was not a chance in hell that Tama would miss this shot.

Shit, he cursed as the light flashing red within his cockpit, while the world was still spinning around him. That one 120mm really hit home.

His machine went out of control, spinning round and round. Shit, he cursed, expecting for the light in his cockpit to go out completely along with the announcement of his defeat, and yet it never went out, the light. It was then, he realized he was still in the game, somehow. He caught a glimpse of 1st Lt. Kazama's hovering machine, unsuspecting, through his damaged main camera as his machine braking from free fall.

He had to get her or else, or else he would seriously suffer Hayase's wrath, he thought.

Shirogane Takeru with all of his honed instinct and talent fought to bring his machine under control, he wrestled and somehow, he won over the impossible.

He did not feel any sense of exhilaration, just desperation, just desperation. The odds were still stacking against him. It's still 1st Lt. Kazama that he had to fight.

He had to take it out somehow, but how? He never had the time to run the check to see the damage done to his machine. The boy remembered seeing his sword holding arm through his partially damaged main camera, that was enough, was it?

No, that was a mistaken belief. In that instance, the boy was reminded of Tsukuyomi, of how she would utilized her machine. The Takemikazuchi was not just a machine, it was a weapon all by itself.

He lunged, slashing with his blade. Unfortunately, 1st Lt. Kazama reacted just in the nick of time, shifting her machine out of harm way in the final second, barely.

Shit, he cursed, why can't she just go down like that? Compelling his machine to spin around, the boy changed direction in midair and pressed the attack. This time, he got her gun, chopping it into twain with a large sweeping back kick.

People said 'don't bring a sword to a gun fight' but the opposite could also be said, 'don't bring a gun to a sword fight.'

Too bad, this was his range. At this range, a sword was far better than a gun.

1st Lt. Kazama reflexively retaliated, sweeping her leg into a roundhouse kick, effectively putting some distance between her machine and the boy's. The razor edge of her machine's shin guard carved out a large chunk of steel from the forearm of boy's machine the moment he blocked the kick with his arm. The boy was unfazed, using the shock and momentum he gained from that kick to add some spins to his machine in midair. He slammed hard on his pedals and forced his twin jump unit to cough out some fire within. He came slashing at 1t Lt. Kazama and narrowly missed yet again by inches, Kazama did not make it easy for him.

1st Lt. Kazama fought back with her TSF's free hand and pressed the gun at the boy, firing. However, his blade was faster than 1st Lt. Kazama's trigger finger by a split second, he knocked her gun away with a quick upward slash, leaving a scratch on its barrel. 1st Lt. Kazama tried to put some distance between them, pulling several dastardly maneuvers to lose the boy, firing her guns at the same time but he came through, gaining on her with his damaged machine, slashing and hacking with his blade.

Quick, he had to be quicker than this, the boy told himself as he tried to lock down 1st Lt. Kazama in a melee, this was his range, this was where he excelled.

However, in the last minute when he thought he finally got her good this time, Kazama unexpectedly executed a vertical boost to deny him the melee he so desired, propelling upward, not that he gave her the chance, chasing right after her with his own boost. And he saw it. At the very peripheral of his vision, he caught the sight of another machine launching itself into the air. Shit, he knew immediately whose machine it was from its midair shooting stance, Haruko. Only Haruko had the eccentricity, the nerve and skill to hit a moving target at the end of a boost jump motion like this.

"Shiro…"

The boy overheard 1st Lt. Munakata's belated warning as the accursed muzzle flash imprinted itself within the boy's mind.

The distance was about 200 meters. There was no freaking way he could do anything about this.

Time never slowed down and yet the boy, for a moment, watched everything in slow motion. His body froze itself in the deadlock of time within that instance, could not move a muscle. And yet, his blade was already in the path of the 120mm shell, deflecting it in a shower of sparks.

"…gane,"

Zoned out of the slow motion vision, the boy didn't even comprehend a single thing. He barely registered the fact that he was still in the game. Only when he saw Haruko tracked his machine with her assault cannon to prepare another shot, he managed to snap out of it.

"1ST Lt. Munakata," he screamed into the com, "Take her down,"

The boy's scream was long overdue because by the time he finished, Haruko's machine has inflated into a ball of flame, blowing up in midair. There was no way that Munakata would miss such opening. Haruko has taken such big risk in order to bail 1st Lt. Kazama from the boy's harassment and she had to pay for it. 1st Lt. Munakata got her right in the reacting chamber with a shower of 66mm.

"What the hell was that, Shirogane?" Munakata's excited voice rang in the com.

"I don't fucking know," the boy bewilderedly replied as his eyes tracked down the shape of Kazama's Takemikazuchi.

"Keep Touko out of our fight for as long as you can, we are winning this, " Munakata commanded and quickly resumed her fight.

The boy replied with his adrenalin filled voice, trying to lock down his designed target. 1st lt. Kazama realized that her team was in a real pinch, trying to force her way back to the fight, not that the boy would allow her, locking her away from the real fight. He started to run the check on his machine.

The boy could hear Hayase's booming voice over the com, screaming at Mikoto and Meiya to add more speed to their machine. He could hear the crisped voice of 1st Lt. Suzumiya commanding Ayamine to flank and take down Chizuru. He could smell victory in the air, soon. As long as he could keep 1st Lt. Kazama out of the fight, his team would win this match.

He tried, launching at her like a bolt, blade sweeping, missed. Kazama evaded skillfully, pounding a salvo of 66mm with her remained assault cannons. The boy wrestled his dual control stick to his right, spinning out of harm way. The scan finished at the same time, took it long enough, displaying on his HUD the condition of his machine, bad, he thought. That 120mm missed his machine cockpit, barely, blowing the topmost cockpit armor. It tore through the back Mount Pylon and ate its way up to the right shoulder. It was so fucking close, the boy thought. Just a little more, Tama would have got him with that bullet, either tearing a hole through his cockpit or making him suffered the same fate Haruko did with a hole in his unit's reactor chamber. He was lucky, the boy thought, gritting his teeth in frustration and swiped the notice out of his HUD, he should have predicted that maneuver.

1st Lt. Kazama was still persistent, relentlessly trying to go through him to get to her group, not so easy. His back gun dead, his right arm dead, he was down to his left arm and a single blade, and still, he could completely dominate her in a melee, the boy knew that and so did Kazama.

Kazama pulled a couple nasty tricks of her own, trying to maneuver around the boy in one moment and trapping him in the next, and he came through every time. He read her carefully, not allowing himself to be outsmarted again. Every now and then, the boy allowed himself to be locked in the middle of Kazama's crosshair while he aggressively launched his attack. 66mm shells and missiles chased him but the boy would slip away, into the cloud of his anti-laser chaff and flares. He had to constantly reminding 1st Lt. Kazama that he was a real threat by staying aggressive in his game.

As long as he could lock 1st Lt. Kazama down, his team was as good as winning the battle, unless a freak accident happen and Hayase somehow knocked herself out of the battle.

….

….

And a freak accident did happened, in form of a ricocheted 120mm shell came off Captain Isumi's assault cannon. That accursed 120mm bounced off the shoulder plate of Ayamine's machine and burrowing itself into Hayase's machine cockpit flying fifty meter behind Ayamine's, effectively took her out of combat.

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Hayase was gritting her teeth and growling like a mad bull, obviously, she was frustrated, that was the second time her team lost to Isumi's Alpha team today, "Wryyyy," her voice echoed as she banged her head against the metallic frame of the simulator engine. Understandingly, she was more frustrated about losing to a freak shot like that and missed the chance to break off their losing streak.

The boy instinctively rubbed his stomach, still sore, a swollen bluish bruise should be there. Hayase recently gave him that for accidentally touching her chest. His phobia of Hayase kept growing worse each day and every time he saw Hayase loss her temper, he made sure to get away from her as far as he could possibly do. He tried to melt into the background, creeping away with light footsteps.

The boy caught the sight of Ayamine and Chizuru locked in a heated exchange that was most likely started by Ayamine. She got Chizuru good with a surprise attack and she was gloating about it in front of Chizuru. Meiya, Mikoto and Tama were trying to separate them.

The boy wanted to join up with his friends but with an angry Hayase still within sight behind him, he thought twice and secretly walked out of the training facility.

The boy thought he was done for the very moment 1st Lt. Munakata turned around and made eye contact with him. She was engaging in a lively conversation with 1st Lt. Kazama and Captain Isumi and then all of the sudden, she turned, swept her eyes around the room and locked into him.

Shit, the boy secretly cursed the moment an evil smile crept on Munakata's lips and her eyes were teasingly dancing with no good intent. She turned at Hayase, clearing her throat and called.

It felt like an eternity. His stomach churned terribly, hundred times worse when he made his machine to nose dive at top speed. His body broke into cold sweat as his weak legs rooted to the ground. But Munakata didn't call out Hayase. She was only toying with him.

She laughed weakly and so did Kazama. 1st Lt. Kazama told Munakata the very same thing the boy would, "You have a very bad taste, Misae san," she winked and wordlessly told him to scoot away.

And scooted away, he did in blinding speed.

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It would take another day or two, said Yuuko. She was designing a simulation base on the Valkyries file, a simulation that aimed directly at the Original Hive.

It could take a year, the boy previously thought when he complied that Valkyries file with Kasumi, even if he had a team of hundreds software engineers and programmers, a simulation of that magnitude would take a whole year to complete.

And yet, Yuuko declared that it would take her, Kasumi and Sumika to complete within four to five days, insane as expected.

The boy knew just how good Yuuko and Kasumi was with the coding and programing, and despite that there was no way for them to complete such simulation of that magnitude within days and he concluded that it must be Sumika who did the actual weight lifting. During this four to five days, Yuuko had Sumika to stop her training with the XG and focus on breaking down the Valkyries file as well as coding the training simulation to prepare for the Original Hive.

Once in a while, Sumika would send the boy telepathic messages.

"Takeru chan, Yuuko sensei is giving me creep, her eyes just turn dark and she is laughing creepily now."

"Takeru chan, I want to take a bath now."

"Takeru chan, help, I want to take a break."

"Takeru chan, it's bad, I made a mistake and accidentally deleted 15GB worth of codes, I can't recover it, what should I do now?"

It was mostly complain. Though, the last part was seriously terrifying. 15GB worth of codes was no joking matter.

The boy would tell her to hang on and do her best every single time as if he used an automatic answer machine. Once in a while, he could feel Kasumi's telepathic presence. She hardly said anything, just groaning, "Uuuuuuu."

Neither of them nor him mentioned anything about their failed attempt to overthrow Yuuko by proving their capability to her.

Once in a while, something unintentional would pop up within the telepathic link that was shared between the three of them.

It was Yuuko. It was her thought. It was her plan.

He didn't know if he could stop Yuuko from what she was about to do. Many people would die, a great many that it would make it impossible for him to even comprehend.

He didn't know if he could save Yuuko from herself. Even at the end of the road and when they came out on top, victorious, Yuuko, alone would suffer, paying the consequences of the choice she made.

This wasn't the future he hoped for. And yet, he could not change it. He didn't know how.

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Munakata was sitting on the long bench in the locker room, resting with her favorite citrus juice in her hands. "What do you think?" she asked while gazing at Isumi.

"He's getting better at it. In fact, I'm afraid that he is ahead of everyone in our unit at using this new TSF," Isumi replied, "But, he is being inconsistence, extremely so."

"And?" Munakata raised a brow and pressed.

"It's better to separate him and Hayase for the moment. I know that he often makes bold choices but this is level of recklessness clearly not a good idea. Hayase's wild style and recklessness is clearly infecting him on so many level," sighed Isumi, "I can begin to see why Hayase became so attached to him. It's so rare to find someone matched so well with her like that."

"Touko's conclusion and mine, exactly," Munakata sighed, popping her citrus juice pack and started sipping.

"Had we not pressed for time, I could leave it to Hayase to fix him up," said Isumi, "Munakata, you will have to mentor him for the next few days, stay close to him and talk it out. I will inform Hayase and him about this decision later."

"Do you think we are doing the right thing?" Kazama questioned. Her voice was slightly tensed.

"I can only hope," Isumi replied, "We all know that this guy is insanely talented but the way is doing things at the moment is too much. He gambled too much. I would prefer him to be levelheaded just like he was during the XM3 trial. As much as I hate it, I have to pry him away from Hayase for the moment."

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The very morning that Yuuko completed the advance simulation for the assault of the Original Hive, she decided to integrate Kasumi and Sumika into the roster of A01. That was the sixth day since Takeru delivered the Valkyries file to her. And it was done without any prior notice.

"From this day onward, these two will be a part of your unit. They will solely responsible for the control of the XG."

Of course, Yuuko also declassified the XG to the rest of the unit in a brief slideshow. At for the rest, the related data and intel, she tossed them to Isumi and let Isumi handle the rest.

Then, Yuuko left, as sudden as she came, leaving only a single message, "Shirogane, you will be in charge of Kagami and Yashiro," said Yuuko, lethargically yawned as she walked away.

"She didn't sleep a wink since we started working on that simulation," Sumika quietly explained to Takeru as he stared at Yuuko, jaw dropping because of just how self-serving she was.

"This is Kagami Sumika. She is the main pilot of the XG. Due to health issue, she wasn't drafted and remained civilian until Yuuko sensei recently scouted her for this project." Takeru started to introduce Kasumi to the rest of the squad before long.

"Nice to meet you," Sumika bashfully greeted.

"Since you guys have already known about Kasumi, so … yeah," Takeru said, nodding his head as he eyed Kasumi, telling her to say something. But Kasumi being Kasumi, she tilted her head, staring at the rest of the unit. Her face showed no hint of emotion, blank and emotionless like a western doll. And yet, he knew, she was just being shy.

Takeru felt Kasumi's telepathic presence in his mind and told her to say something, anything to make thing a little less weird.

Still with an emotionless face, Kasumi looked at Takeru, nodded her head, acknowledging his suggestion, "Yashiro desu," she said.

Takeru felt the urge to put his palm on his face. 'You can do better,' he thought. As he was grimacing, Isumi pulled his sleeve, "Shirogane, you take care of these two girls. I need to sort out these data for a moment."

"Team, no simulation training this morning. Try to get to know each other in the meantime. We will begin the new training at two, so get yourself ready."

Even though she didn't look like it, Takeru was sure that Isumi was stressed. They had only another three weeks to train and prepare for the next big operation. And with the recently added super weapon XG and the additional members, Isumi had to revamp her strategy and preparation.

But he knew, the worse has yet to come. Isumi's source of stress would increase and inflate indefinitely soon, coming from his direction. Now that Kasumi and Sumika along with the declassified XG has become a staple of A01's roster, he could move forward with his plan since Yuuko has already given her consent to that.

As he was thinking that, Haruka pulled Sumika and Kasumi to her side with a beaming smile,

"I am Haruka, Suzumiya Haruka. Nice to meet you. I have heard your situation. If there is something you need to talk about, you can always come to me."

There was something genuine and angelic about that smile of Haruka, Takeru thought, it was like a beaming sun flower.

"Thank you," Sumika replied warmly.

Haruka pulled Sumika's hands and immediately formed a girl circle with the rest of the squad. Takeru felt grateful for Haruka's friendliness and ability to grab social cue. Though, he felt a tinge of guilty within his conscience. They were already friends, Sumika and the girls, but it was him who hit the reset button and messed everything.

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"Why?"

Her word was full of pain. But there was no tear in her eyes, only flame of anger and disappointment.

"Why?" Ayamine hollered dryly. Her hands tightly gripped into Takeru's collar as she hauled him into the air.

Why indeed, Shirogane Takeru thought. He saw weeping tears scrolled down Tama's eyes. Chizuru's face was that of stupefied shock, Mikoto's was that of utter confuse and Meiya, her pale ashen face was distorted with a betrayed look.

"Why?" Ayamine pressed the answer.

Why indeed. Why did it come to light? How did his betrayal come to light? Where did he make a mistake?

"Why did you egg the XO to transfer us to another unit? Do you see us as nothing but burden?" Ayamine's infuriating word echoed.

"Yes, you are a burden, every one of you" Takeru coldly gave his reply.

"How… how dare you?" Ayamine gritted her teeth and the flame in her eyes rose uncontrollably. Only Ayamine retained her ability to speak, the rest of the girls lost theirs in the shock of his betrayal.

"Can you not see that you are slowing everyone down? Your incompetency is so baffling to the point that I feel sick while flying with you. There is not a chance in hell that I would go to participate in the next operation with you all watching my back. I would rather go alone than going with you," Takeru sneered. He excluded them from the participation of the next operation and all future operations of A01. He excluded them from A01, transferring to a new unit.

With the firepower that the XG brought to the table, downing the Sadogashima Hive has become exponentially easier, not quite but yes, it was easier to down that accursed BETA fortress. Also, Ikaruga had agree to lend a full wing of Imperial Royal Guard to Yuuko at the right to possess 20% of G materials extracted from the Sadogashima Hive during the Operation if Yuuko managed to successfully doing so. A full wing, that 360 combated TSF, a massive fighting potential, and all that fighting potential was put under Yuuko's control. Of course, such deal was wrapped under the table by none other than the old man Yoroi. Takeru could hardly how such deal come to be, crazy, batshit crazy, and yet, it was already a done deal. Ikaruga did not appear to be a man who would give away his force for anything, not even when the most valuable G materials involved. It was already in the A01's schedule that they had a week of practice with the loaned troops from the IRG before the operation, short but that's probably enough.

Anyway, that under table deal worked to Takeru's advantage. Even removing his old team from the roster of A01, it would not place a huge burden for the rest of the team. Though, he had tossed all of Isumi's hard work out of the window, but he had no other choice. They would not be missed in combat situation with all the new combat potential. Thus, he told Yuuko to transfer them and formed an experimental unit for testing the X03 and Yuuko easily agreed as if she has always expected it.

"Stop fucking with me," Ayamine growled. The flame in her eyes started to lose their intensity, doused by the water work.

"You stop fucking with me. You all," Takeru mockingly said, forcefully grabbing Ayamine's hands and removing them from his collar. "If you have any problem with your order, go and complain to Yuuko sensei."

"Coward," Chizuru gritted her teeth.

Yes, it was very cowardly of him to do so. He could not even confront them without putting on this dastardly pretention. He knew he had no strength nor dignity nor any reason to confront them after his betrayal came to light. He dared not looking into Meiya's eyes nor anyone. His eyes always wandered between nothingness and someone's brows. But, it's fine, they can hate him for the rest of their lives, they can stop talking to him for the rest of his life, he's fine with it.

At least, he would never lose them to the BETA, never again.