Quiet Voice

by LilweenGalatrass

Shy, socially-awkward Akiyama Kiku never was noticed by anyone. She didn't speak up and the gods forbid ever making eye-contact with anyone. So, she couldn't understand why Oikawa Tooru suddenly decided that she was the perfect match for his best friend. Iwaizumi Hajime would never admit outloud how grateful he really was to his friend. Iwaizumi x OC

49. Anchor

Technically, on my side of the world, right now I'm a day too late, BUT September 28th is the one-year anniversary of Quiet Voice! :D This is why I'm posting this chapter so quickly, to thank you for such an amazing support for so long! Hopefully, you'll continue reading this story and will enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it~! THANK YOU EVERYONE! :D

Thank you for all the follows, favorites and reviews, I love you guys so much~! :D

starrat : I hope you'll like this long chapter as well~! ;)

TheLunaGoddess : Communication is key, indeed, and they're going to learn it, don't worry~! ;)

LadyAmazon : Ahah, puppies and kitties are always appreciated~! Don't worry, the seriousness is going to fade away a little...! ;)

Aquafin : They worked out SOME of the issue but they still have a lot to talk about - to know, you'll heva to keep reading~! ;)

xxXsilverXxx : All the boys would argue about which one loves his girl more, and which girl is the best. They are all so terribly in love that they woudln't give up and remain stubborn until the end. The only way to settle down the argument will be w hen said-girls overhear about it and say "We know we're ALL the best, so stop arguing and competing, boys~!" to which they would all agree at long last. Oikawa's girl will be here next chapter, but don't worry, there is a LOT of Kijime in this one to compensate~! ;)

WARNING : NSFW moment, indicated for the ones who want to skip it

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FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : QUIET VOICE

CHAPTER IL : Anchor

"I sent a quick text to Adrian: I have a hickey! You can't ever kiss me again. I honestly hadn't expected him to be awake this early, so I was surprised to get a response: Okay. I won't kiss you on your neck again.

So typical of him. No! You can't ever kiss me ANYWHERE. You said you were going to keep your distance.

I'm trying, he wrote back. But you won't keep your distance from me.

I didn't dignify that with a response."

― Richelle Mead, The Indigo Spell

"I love your silence. It is so wise. It listens. It invites warmth."

— Ben Okri, Astonishing the Gods

"I am not actually tired, but numb and heavy, and can't find the right words. All I can say is: Stay with me, don't leave me."

— Franz Kafka, Letters To Felice

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

― Marilyn Monroe

"Every couple needs to argue now and then. Just to prove that the relationship is strong enough to survive. Long-term relationships, the ones that matter, are all about weathering the peaks and the valleys."

― Nicholas Sparks, Safe Haven

"Every couple has ups and downs, every couple argues, and that's the thing—you're a couple, and couples can't function without trust."

― Nicholas Sparks, At First Sight

"'If you could see your whole life from start to finish, would you change things?'–'Maybe I'd say what I feel more often.'"

— Arrival (2016), Dir. Denis Villeneuve

"You don't need another human being to make your life complete, but let's be honest. Having your wounds kissed by someone who doesn't see them as disasters in your soul but cracks to put their love into is the most calming thing in this world."

— Emery Allen

"I want to be kissed with a passion. One that drives my significant other so wild, that when they grab me, they are actually the one losing control."

— Unknown

"Or maybe spring is the season of love and fall the season of mad lust. Spring for flirting but fall for the untamed delicious wild thing."

― Elizabeth Cohen, The Hypothetical Girl

"Do you know what really turns me on? What I find incredibly sexy? Kindness."

— Michael Faudet

"Those sweet lips. My, oh my, I could kiss those lips all night long. Good things come to those who wait."

― Jess C. Scott, The Intern

"The opposite of loneliness, it's not togetherness. It is intimacy."

— Richard Bach, The Bridge Across Forever: A Lovestory

"I did not always think he was right nor did he always think I was right but we were each the person the other trusted."

— Joan Didion, The Year of Magical Thinking

"The minute they made eye contact they both knew. They said millions of words with that one glance. All of their emotions were portrayed through their eyes. They knew they could never go back to before."

— Unknown

"If you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you're sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you'll try to see yourself through my eyes."

— P.S I Love You (2007), Dir. Richard LaGravenese

Hajime heard the sound of water moving around, then the door sliding open and close. He stood up, leaving his guard duty in front of the bathroom now that Kiku was done with her bath. He joined the others in the room, several glancing up curiously at their Ace as he sat down and glanced over Oikawa's shoulder to see how he was doing on the video game he was playing against Matsukawa and Hanamaki.

"GEH!" Oikawa exclaimed when he lost.

"You're terrible at this game," Iwaizumi commented with a smirk.

"Try and do better!" He hissed, forcing the game into his hands.

"I never back off a challenge," Iwaizumi answered, staring at his friends, all three getting fired up.

They started the game, Oikawa occasionally (too often) commenting on what Iwaizumi was doing but it wasn't enough to disturb him.

"Ah, Akiyama-san!"

Yahaba's voice, and mostly, his words, immediately made Hajime glance up, totally forgetting the game and while Mattsun and Makki cheered and Oikawa whined for his loss, he stared at Kiku, standing in the doorway. Her hair was still a little wet from her bath, she was wearing her cute pink and white pajamas and she had a shy smile on her face. Hajime's heart immediately went wild and he sighed lovingly to see her.

"I'm bringing you some papers Oikawa-kun has asked me, I hope I don't bother you," she started, entering quickly to give Oikawa said-papers.

"No way you'd bother us, Akiyama-san!" Yahaba exclaimed, earning a quick glance from Iwaizumi.

"You heard Yahaba, Kiku-chan~! Why don't you join us? You promised us to play cards when you'll be done with everything!" Oikawa exclaimed after he had glanced between Hajime and Kiku.

She glanced in the direction of her boyfriend and he glanced away with a flush. Kiku smiled in embarrassment at Oikawa:

"I… I don't know the rules… I should probably go anyway and–"

"No, no, stay!" Makki exclaimed, making her narrow her eyes at him, "We can play something else!"

"Truth or dare?" Matsukawa suggested.

"Perfect, Mattsun! This way everyone can play! First and second-years, come here too! We're all going to play!" Oikawa exclaimed, urging forward the kouhais.

Some sat out the game, too tired to play, or too antisocial, but they watched from the corner of their eye as the others sat in a circle. Hajime initially tried to sit it out but he was forced by Oikawa to stay, Kiku sitting at the other side of Oikawa, which didn't please Hajime. With Matsukawa's app on his phone, they went around, everyone doing a truth or a dare according to their tastes. Thankfully, despite some of their worries, it was rather funny questions and doable dares within the room. There were a few embarrassing questions and dares here and there, but it wasn't as terrible as they would have expected from Matsukawa.

"Iwaizumi! Truth or dare? You already took three dares so you have to take the truth this time!" Matsukawa said.

"Why do you even ask then?" He mumbled, a little worried of what the truth might be.

"Oh oh, you're going to love this one." He continued when he read the question, "With how many people in this room, did you think about having sex with?"

Several young ones flushed, and Iwaizumi, obviously, blushed terribly.

"I-it's obvious! Only one!" He exclaimed.

Kiku blushed and looked down at her hands on her laps when everyone glanced at her. Hajime blushed even more and covered his face with his hands, embarrassment killing him.

"Well, that was easier than expected," Makki commented, "Just to be sure, is it Kiku or one of us?"

"You know the answer, you imbecile!" Iwaizumi hissed.

"Aaaw, thank you, it makes me very happy~ I didn't know you liked me that much, but don't be so embarrassing in front of our teammates, Hajime-chan~!" Hanamaki teased, putting a hand on his face as if he was flushed and embarrassed.

"Y-you…! Hmpff! You imbecile!"

Everyone snickered at their exchange, even Kiku who got over her embarrassment thanks to Hanamaki's intervention. Not that he had done that for her, obviously, but to embarrass even further Iwaizumi.

"As usual you don't know any other insult but 'imbecile', Iwa-chan~!" Oikawa said.

"Shut up! You're the king of imbeciles! It's your turn anyway!"

"Give me the vilest of dare, Mattsun!" Oikawa exclaimed vehemently.

He clicked on his phone screen, and smirked upon seeing the next dare. Curious, Makki glanced over his shoulder then glanced up at Oikawa who blinked at them in confusion to see such expressions on their faces.

"You absolutely have to do it, Oikawa," Hanamaki said with a wink.

It made the others just as curious as Matsukawa read the question:

"Take off your clothes."

"Oh? Is that it~? If you want to see me naked so badly, just say so, I'll take off my clothes anytime~!" Oikawa exclaimed, already standing up.

Kiku looked away with a flush as he took off his shirt, the gesture not escaping Hajime's attention, feeling the seed of jealousy growing in his heart.

Oikawa let his shirt drop dramatically then started pulling at his pants before flushing in embarrassment and sitting down.

"T-that's it, right… just the shirt is enough, ahah…" He started.

"Uh-uh. Take off your pants, show to the entire team what you're wearing underneath." Hanamaki said.

"B-but, M-Makki!" Oikawa whined, not wanting to take off his pants and show his boxers to everyone.

That the third-years knew it was one thing, they were used to his habits. But he didn't want to lose face against the first and second years. He was their Captain, after all…!

"Come on! Pants off! Pants off! Pants off!" Matsukawa started, clapping in his hands.

After a while, everyone started cheering for it despite Oikawa's red cheeks and he had no choice but to execute the order before they'd assault him.

"Oh! All right! If anyone laughs, he's off the team!" He exclaimed, standing up and pulling down his pants.

Everyone stared at what were his favorite boxers: black, with green little aliens… playing volleyball. It was his lucky boxers, his favorite one, that he usually put on on special occasions or because it made him feel good and confident.

"N-no way… O-Oikawa-san…" Yahaba started, sounding almost sad.

A few started snickering but their Captain, cheeks red, immediately stomped down his foot:

"OI! I said no laughing!" He exclaimed.

It made the third-years roll in laughter and quickly, everyone was snickering, laughing or even smiling in amusement. Even Kiku was holding her stomach, trying to smother her laugh as Oikawa got dressed once again, whining and cursing his teammates for making fun of him. His boxers were really cool anyway!

"A-all right! Next one! Kiku!" Matsukawa called, in between two fits of laughter, everyone quieting down, "Truth or dare?"

"U-um… I-I don't know…" She murmured, not wanting to do either after what both Iwaizumi and Oikawa had to do.

"Dare! Dare!" Makki exclaimed, already clicking on it on Mattsun's phone, "Oh oh~! This is going to be great!"

"You have to do seven minutes in heaven! And because we're generous, we'll let you choose among all of us which one you'll do it with!"

Everyone flushed and glanced at their blushing manager who blinked in confusion:

"U-um… w-what is seven minutes in heaven?" she asked hesitantly.

"I'll teach you–" Makki volunteered, already standing up.

"No, you won't!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, glaring at him.

He glanced quickly at Kiku, then at everyone who was definitely wondering what he would do…

"Well, someone has to teach her what is seven minutes in heaven and clearly I'm the most–"

"I'll do it."

They all turned towards Iwaizumi after he said that, his cheeks red. Kiku wasn't quite sure what was happening when they all started grinning but Hajime stood up and showed her his hand. She took it, standing up after him and the whole group went to the nearest, empty classroom, all the while making sure not to be caught by Mizoguchi.

"All right~ Now don't be too loud~! Make sure to really go for it, we want proofs, otherwise we'll know once the seven minutes are up and we'll have to make you two go through a very intense and embarrassing dare as punishment!" Hanamaki exclaimed, pushing the two inside the room with a snarky smile.

He closed the door and Oikawa talked loud enough for the two to hear:

"I'm starting the timer now! Tic tac~ tic tac~!"

Kiku looked up at Hajime curiously but he didn't dare do or say anything:

"U-um, what is seven minutes in heaven…?" She asked hesitantly.

"…We're locked up in here for seven minutes… and we're supposed to have a make out session…" He answered nervously when she blushed.

She thought back on everyone's reaction, on how he had proposed himself to go for it. Her heart beat faster, comforting warmth spreading through her body…

"T-then you… you volunteered so that I wouldn't have to go with anyone else…" She realized.

She sighed in relief, looking up gratefully at Hajime.

"I-I don't want anyone else to touch you…" He admitted, trying to swallow back his jealousy.

"T-thank you… it's reassuring that I'd… spend seven minutes in heaven with you…" She said, her voice a little more playful.

He hesitated, glancing around. An awkward silence fell on them.

"W-what do you think Makki will make us do once the minutes will be up…?" She asked, worriedly.

"We…"

He took a deep breath to give himself some courage:

"I could, uh, do a lot of push-ups or something to look sweaty and… and…"

"Hajime…" Kiku called hesitantly, stepping towards him, which made his stomach tighten, "I-I know we're kinda taking a break but… we're… still dating, aren't we…? S-so… we could…"

She looked up shyly at him, her eyes shining in the mid-darkness while a blush spread over their cheeks. His lips fell open at the suggestion, knowing that all of their friends probably had their ears against the door to listen to whatever they'd do… Kiku quickly looked away, pulling nervously at her shirt, which attracted Hajime's attention on her curvy figure, barely covered by her short shorts and cute shirt. Gods, he was so glad no one else but him got to see her so adorably embarrassed.

"I-I m-mean… I-if you want… y-you don't have to force yourself if you want to stay away from me, I would underst–"

She never finished her sentence as Hajime walked the two steps separating them and cupped her cheeks, kissing her intensely. She gasped against his lips while his hands grabbed her hips, pulling her against his body. They pulled away for breath and he looked right into her eyes:

"As if I could stay away from you even if I wanted to…" He breathed against her lips.

She opened and closed her lips before capturing his once again, their kiss intensifying as Oikawa announced the remaining amount of time. They didn't listen though. Hajime pushed Kiku against the nearest wall, grabbing her behind and lifting her up until she was pressed between his body and the wall. She squeaked loudly, her legs surrounding his hips while he started kissing her neck.

"W-wait, H-Hajime!" She exclaimed, blushing.

"They need a proof, right?" He said, letting his teeth brush against the soft skin.

He could feel her heart beating frenetically against his chest and under his lips, she let out a heavy sigh, probably wondering whether or not she would let him do it, but suddenly, she grasped the hair at the back of his head, pulling him closer to her neck. He bit down enthusiastically, excitement shooting through his body, both of their stomachs tightening as pleasure starting to rush. Kiku let out a squeal, she bit down on her lower lip, knowing that people were right behind the door and could hear her. She closed her eyes as he bit and sucked, leaving red marks that would turn into hickeys. She let out an ecstatic laugh before looking down, forcing his lips away from her neck. She pulled at his shirt and Hajime stepped away, letting her down. Kiku quickly grabbed his shirt, pulling it off his body all the while pushing him backwards until he hit a table. He turned around, grabbed Kiku who was kissing his pectoral and lifted her up easily, letting her down on the table with another squeal. He took off her shirt, throwing it over his shoulder and grabbing her hips as he bent down to kiss her, the move so sudden it made the table hit the wall behind.

On the other side of the door, everyone, mostly the third-years were leaning with their ears against the door, hearing some squeals, a sudden laugh and sounds of furniture hitting the wall – or perhaps it was their bodies.

"…Do you think they're…?" Oikawa hesitated, glancing up at Hanamaki.

"It sounds a hell lot like it…" He answered.

Everyone was stunned that not only their Ace was making out with their manager, but that they'd do it in an almost public place. It was unexpected but they were happy for them considering the weird atmosphere that had surrounded them these last few days.

"We're lucky the app had such a dare at the perfect timing!" Oikawa exclaimed with a grin.

"Ah, right, about that… what was written was that Kiku was just supposed to kiss someone of her choice." Hanamaki continued with a smug grin.

"But we spiced it up a little bit." Mattsun added.

They fist-bumped each other while Oikawa rolled his eyes with a grin.

"Ah, well, everything is well in the end so there's that. Should we stop them when the timer goes off?" He asked.

"Of course, it'll be only more sexual frustration for Iwaizumi. Our plan is working perfectly~!"

"Makki, you're evil~"

"May I ask what is going on here?"

The entire group jumped and turned around, all walking in front of the door to keep Mizoguchi from getting too curious. He stared at them suspiciously and they realized they didn't keep an eye on the hour and that it was probably time for lights out.

"What's going on? What are you all doing here?" He asked.

The first and second-years, panicked, looked up at their senpais.

"U-um! W-we're just… hanging around!" Oikawa exclaimed, making Mizoguchi frown.

A sound came from inside behind the door, making the assistant coach raise an eyebrow. Oikawa looked away in embarrassment, while Matsukawa hit the door with his foot, hoping it'd keep the two inside a little more quiet.

"U-um, we're–"

Hanamaki's voice was covered by a loud growl coming from inside the room, making everyone freeze and flush.

"We're SURPRISED to see you here, suddenly, MIZOGUCHI!" He shouted, hitting the door with his foot to warn the two idiots busy making-out that they were about to get caught.

Just then the timer of Oikawa's phone went off, startling the setter who tried to keep it down but almost dropping his phone in his panic.

Mizoguchi stared at them, knowing something was going on and that he would get angry:

"What is happening in this room? You're not supposed to go in there."

"There's no one in there, nothing is going on in there," Makki answered.

"There's obviously someone in there, we just heard someone make a weird noise, I hope it's not one of your–"

Mizoguchi stepped forward but was cut by Yahaba who spoke up suddenly:

"T-they're doing a test of courage!" He exclaimed, drawing the coach's attention on him for more explanation, "A-a few members of the team are in there… in the dark… doing a test of courage… That's why we can't interrupt them yet or it'd be… ruined."

Everyone, including the third-years, turned towards Yahaba with stars in their eyes.

Yahaba! Nice save! They all thought, glad he was there to save the situation.

Mizoguchi looked confused but turned back towards the third-years:

"Well, they'll continue the test of courage tomorrow, right now you should all go to bed and–"

The door Oikawa, Hanamaki and Matsukawa had been leaning on suddenly open on Iwaizumi and Kiku, dressed and a little flushed but looking perfectly calm. Well, Kiku was holding onto Iwaizumi's arm tightly, shaking.

"Aaah! It was scary! Don't make me do that ever again, Makki!" Kiku exclaimed, hiding her face in her boyfriend's arm.

"A-ah, u-um!"

"Were you two really doing a test of courage?" Mizoguchi asked suspiciously.

Kiku looked up, still looking incredibly frightened, pale except for the red of her cheeks:

"Y—yes, they forced me, but I didn't want to go alone in the dark…!"

"So I volunteered to go with her," Iwaizumi added with a shrug.

"…I heard a weird noise, what were you–"

"Ah, she kicked me in the shin." He said, giving Kiku an accusing look.

"T-there was a scary shadow!" She exclaimed.

He opened his lips to reply but Mizoguchi just shook his head in impatience:

"Whatever! Just go to bed! All of you! I'll come back in five minutes to check on you!"

He went back downstairs and as soon as he was out of view, everyone sighed in relief.

"You two… are incredible actors…! I almost believed you!" Hanamaki exclaimed with a smile.

"Eh? But it was scary…" Kiku said with an innocent blink of her eyes, "I don't understand why you'd call this 'seven minutes in heaven' when it's just a test of courage…" She mumbled in confusion.

They all glanced at Iwaizumi who shrugged with a flush on his cheeks, they all understood he had not explained to her the true rules of the game.

"I'm going to bed now, you've exhausted me…! I'll see you tomorrow at breakfast, guys!" Kiku exclaimed, with a wave of her hand, going at the other side of the hall in her own room.

Everyone turned, a little accusingly, towards Iwaizumi who remained perfectly calm.

"If you wanted her to know the rules, you should have explained it before pushing us into the room. Letting me handle it when I want to preserve her innocence – that was pretty stupid of you." He said with a smug expression.

"You're the stupid one for missing your chance!" Matsukawa sighed.

"Whatever! Now, come on, everyone to bed! We've got a harsh training tomorrow!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, pushing off everyone who whined.

He glanced over his shoulder at Kiku who glanced at him before disappearing in her room, sharing a smile. He followed the others but Makki came to a stop, brows furrowed in confusion:

"Wait but… Kiku isn't scared of the dark…?" He murmured to himself.

"Just go to bed, Hanamaki," Iwaizumi said, pushing him forward.

"Oooh~! I see what you did there, you smug son of a bitch!" He exclaimed proudly, punching lightly his friend on the shoulder.

"Ah, but you and Matsukawa will get double time of running tomorrow for making it all up." Iwaizumi added with a ferocious look, making both shudder in fear of what they'd have to go through.

Hajime didn't want to admit it while he was making sure everyone was turning the lights and going to sleep, but he was pretty frustrated that the moment he had shared with Kiku had been over within a few minutes. He rolled around in his futon for a long while, out of frustration and also because he couldn't stop thinking of everything that had happened in so little time between the two of them. She was giving him time to figure out if he wanted to overcome his fears about dating her. He had realized just how much of an important part of his life she had become, like a physical necessity to have her around, to hear her laugh, see her smile, hold her hand and being forced apart for 'thinking' was driving him crazy. And this sudden make-out session, too short to his tastes. He bit down his lower lip to keep himself from laughing in excitement. Considering they were taking a break, they shouldn't have done that, it felt like some forbidden act, some sin they had done in almost-complete secrecy considering everyone (except Makki who had figured it out) had assumed he had lied to Kiku about the nature of "seven minutes in heaven".

Gods, she's driving me crazy…! He realized, rolling around and trying desperately to find sleep but his mind was too full of Kiku for that.

For once, the following morning, he was one of the last ones who got up and it was only because Oikawa insisted by pushing him around until he'd wake up.

"You didn't sleep last night?" The setter asked when the groggy spiker rose from the dead (read: the sleepers)

"Uuuh… I did… like, late… or early, depending on your point of view…"

"Too excited to fall asleep, uh?" Makki teased as he walked past them.

Iwaizumi glared at him as he chuckled, walking away.

"Come on, a good breakfast is going to get you started!" Oikawa exclaimed, helping him up.

Unfortunately, being among the last ones up, Hajime couldn't see Kiku who was already gone from the kitchen, finishing to get ready and prepare everything for the boys' training.

They started the day of training, Iwaizumi having enough energy to be as spartan as usual, to everyone's despair. It was during the first break of the day, after going to the restrooms, that Hajime ran into Kiku. Or rather, she was waiting for him and after making sure no one would notice, she pushed him in a dark corner.

"I-I'm sorry for what happened last night," she started, blushing in embarrassment, "I-I give you time to think a-and then I propose to roll along with this stupid game and make out a-and the others were here too a-and…"

"Hey, don't be sorry… I rolled along with it too so…" He mumbled, flushing a little.

They stared at each other in silence. He really wanted to bend down and kiss her but he held back. It was just sexual frustration pushing him to these acts, right now, they needed to be focused. On the summer training camp and on what they would do after.

"So… I guess… we're still on a break, then…?" He asked to be certain, sounding more disappointed than intended.

She stared back at him then nodded with a sigh. She was about to leave when he caught her arm, forcing her to look back at him:

"Y-you know… um, thank you… for giving me the time to decide…"

Even though I already made up my mind… He added to himself.

Kiku stared at him then a smile appeared on her face:

"It's normal. I just want you happy, Hajime. It's all that matters for me."

She continued walking and he slowly let go of her arm, but he didn't stop touching her. His fingers grasped her arm softly and as she moved away, his hand caressed the length of her arm and hand until their fingertips were touching. She seemed hesitant, sending him a last look from over her shoulders, his gaze burning into hers and then… she blinked and walked away, breaking the contact.

Hajime sighed, knowing he had to focus on the training camp but wanting so badly for Kiku and him to be back at having a normal relationship. Or rather, to start a normal relationship now that they had realized what had gone wrong. He walked away from the hall but before he could reach the court, he noticed Kiku and Makki talking. Or rather, Hanamaki, with a grin on his face, grabbed her arm and pushed her in a corner where no one could see.

I'm not jealous… I'm not jealous… they're just talking, they're just talking… He repeated to himself, trying to hurry past them.

But he couldn't help but glance and froze when he saw Kiku against the wall and Hanamaki leaning over her, kissing her neck… Ice filled his veins, then a burning anger, and then a sudden sadness and disappointment.

"OI!" Hajime shouted.

Both startled and Hanamaki smiled at him, a little sheepish to have been caught and having to face such a furious-looking Iwaizumi.

"Hey… I was just admiring your work from last night…"

Hajime's brows furrowed and he noticed Kiku looking away with a blush on her cheeks, putting her hand over her neck. Right where he had kissed her… did she…? He gasped, realizing she had hickeys because of him and that not only Hanamaki had seen them, but that he had assumed his friends were–

Not knowing what to do, or what to say, he just stood there awkwardly while Hanamaki walked past him, patting his shoulder.

"Good job, for a virgin," he whispered in his ear, making Hajime blush.

"O-oi!" He exclaimed but Hanamaki walked away with a laugh.

He turned back towards Kiku who was trying to put her hair forward to hide the embarrassing proofs of what had happened last night. If Mizoguchi or her uncle noticed it, they would figure out that last night was not a test of courage and they might get in trouble.

"A-are you okay?" Hajime asked hesitantly, wanting to apologize for leaving hickeys on her neck.

"I-I'm fine, just go…"

He felt a little disheartened but nodded, joining his friends. From the teasing grins on Matsukawa and Oikawa's faces, it was pretty obvious Hanamaki had just told them the truth.

"Iwa-chan–" Oikawa started with a hyped up voice.

"Don't. Say. A word."

The rest of the practice went as usual, everyone working hard, resting in between practice matches. Hajime kept glancing at Kiku, whether while she was taking notes or at dinner, he couldn't stop glancing her way, hope he could take her hand in his, talk to her, see her smile… Sighing for the umpteenth time tonight, Oikawa glanced at his friend, smiling when he saw him so terribly in love despite the strange and unexplainable distance between the couple.

"She doesn't smile when you're not around," Oikawa intervened, putting his chin on his propped up hand, staring at Hajime and occasionally glancing at Kiku to prove his point.

"Eh?"

"Kiku-chan smiles and laughs, but most times it's to be polite, or because it just happens. But when you're around, she smiles so brightly. It's like two different persons." He explained calmly.

"…You're right…"

I miss her smile… her bright, blinding smile that takes my breath away and makes me forget everyone else around… Hajime added to himself, looking down sadly.

His attention was brought back on Kiku when she stood up, leaving the cafeteria to go into the kitchen. She would put the most of the dishes into the dish-washer then go have her bath while everyone was dozing off. Keeping a distant eye on her, Hajime left the others to go watch the door to avoid any other incident like the other day. He was aware that his friends knew about it but they didn't tease him – it was surprising but in the same time, they could feel the tension and distance between Kiku and him. He hadn't told them anything about the break they were taking and he doubted Kiku had either. They were respecting their boundaries and he was grateful to them, but he still wished he could talk about it with them, mostly Oikawa… It felt strange, doing things without telling Oikawa, choosing his own path without thinking of Oikawa. He w as such an important part of his life, and he was important for Oikawa too; and yet, now, the only person who seemed to matter was Kiku. Oikawa didn't say anything about it yet, but Hajime was pretty sure that the setter would soon start getting antsy about the lack of time they spent together.

The sound of water in the bathroom dragged him out of his thoughts and Hajime stood up, joining the others but for once, everyone was quiet. The exhaustion of the training camp was getting on them, several already dozing off and half-asleep. It was quiet and by realizing this, Hajime wished he was laying on his futon with Kiku by his side. Just her quietness, her soothing presence. But no matter how hard he tried to focus on something else, whether it was his phone, or his friends' calm conversation, his mind always went back to Kiku.

I miss her… I miss her, I miss her, I miss her, I miss her, I miss her, I miss her, I miss–

"Iwa-chan?" Oikawa called, glancing at him, "You look nervous and you keep glaring at the ceiling. You're okay?"

"Y-yeah, I just… need some sleep…" He answered, turning on his side to try and fall asleep despite the lights still on but he couldn't close his eyes.

Not long after, Mizoguchi went to check on them and called the lights off. Quickly, everyone fell asleep, light snores and sleepy breaths filling the room. Hajime didn't stop turning around, seeing his friends sleeping deeply while his mind was plagued with thoughts of Kiku. He couldn't stop thinking of her – her hands, her smile, her laugh, her eyes, her soft skin under his lips…

Finally getting exhausted from overthinking, Hajime pushed off the covers and stood up, leaving the room in silence, wandering in the halls for a while. He hoped some exercise would tire him enough to go back and fall asleep but he was too nervous. Even if his brain was feeling drowsy from lack of sleep and the exhaustion of an entire day of practice, his body seemed to be covered in nervous electricity. Everytime he thought of Kiku, he was filled with warmth and a strange mix of peace and anxiety took over.

Looking up, Hajime realized he had instinctively gone to Kiku's room. He was about to turn around and leave when he hesitated. He couldn't help but slid open the door slightly, as silently as possible. He observed her sleeping form from afar and then, without being conscious of his actions, he opened the door a little wider and his steps took him in. He couldn't help himself, he wasn't thinking or deciding of his actions, he was just drawn to Kiku.

She moved a little in her sleep from the sounds but didn't wake up. Hajime sat next to her, smiling softly when he observed her sleeping. She would have seemed peaceful to anyone else but him, but he could see the slightest signs of discomfort on her face. He wasn't even sure what gave it away – her lips weren't turned down, she wasn't frowning, her breathing was calm but he could just tell.

Hajime advanced his hand, pushing some of her hair away from her face and he started caressing her hair delicately. Kiku let a sigh escape her lips and under his touch, she relaxed in her sleep. He smiled at that.

Kiku's presence, the quietness of the room, he could have fallen asleep if he hadn't been painfully aware he needed to go away. Before someone might wake up and found him in his girlfriend's room, watching her sleep. Or that he'd fall asleep here. It would cause them both trouble from Mizoguchi and, well, he wasn't sure how Kiku would take it.

He stood up, advancing towards the door. Maybe he made some sound, but he liked to think that Kiku could feel his absence and that was what woke her up. She turned around, opening slightly her eyes, blinded by the moonlight and the figure standing in her doorway.

"…Hajime…" She called, stopping him at once, while she fell back asleep already.

He looked over his shoulder as her breathing calmed once again. But her hand was reaching out to him, just a few centimeters away from a moment ago, now resting on the floor again.

"…Don't leave me…" She whispered in her sleep.

Hajime's heart missed a beat, suddenly feeling awake and more alive than he did the last few days. His lips fell open, not knowing what to do. Somehow, he could tell that it wasn't an half-asleep Kiku asking him to not leave her room… it was a frightened Kiku, who had still put his happiness before her own, asking him to not leave her definitely.

He didn't doubt she would always put his happiness first, but he also knew she spent the last few days frightened he'd leave her. It was her worst fear – to be left by the people she loved, she had been abandoned for years and years… She might have been adopted by the Akiyama, and they loved her, but part of the reason why they did so was because they had lost their own daughter, Kiku was here to fill the void left by her death. Hajime was the only person who loved Kiku for who she was, without expecting or asking anything from her.

He slowly walked back to Kiku, sitting down the way he had done a few moments ago. His hand took hers, she moved around a little but didn't wake up as he slid his fingers with hers.

"I'll never leave you… I promised, didn't I…?" He murmured, smiling at her sleeping face.

He hadn't expected Kiku to hear him, and he wasn't sure if she had woken up yet, but her expression changed. So much sadness, so suddenly, that his heart felt too heavy.

"…But he… needs to live his life…" She continued, probably talking in her dreams.

Hajime watched her face as a tear rolled down her cheek and she turned around, looking sad and worried even in her sleep. Her breathing calmed again and he lied down next to her, kissing the top of her head. There was still some distance between them he didn't dare break to not wake her up, but he was still holding her hand and he could smell her lemon-scent.

"I need you in my life, Kiku…" He murmured, closing his eyes.

He felt himself fall asleep but he didn't have the strength, or heart, to move and leave to go back in his room. He felt peaceful next to Kiku's warmth, as she unconsciously relaxed again in his presence.

"I… didn't even tell him… that I love him…" She breathed, still more asleep than awake.

He opened his eyes again, but this time, he had nothing to answer. He knew how she felt, and he knew how he felt. He just prayed they could still make their relationship balanced.

"Don't leave me Kiku…" He murmured, closing his eyes.

If there was an answer, he never heard it, falling asleep.

When Kiku's clock rang loudly right next to him, Hajime jumped awake, immediately pressing the button off, his heart beating in panic when, within seconds, he realized that he had fallen asleep in her room. Kiku moaned, turning around and covering her face with her covers, not wanting to get up and not realizing he was just a few inches away from her.

Despite feeling groggy from the sudden waking and having slept without any cover, Hajime quickly stood up and hurried through the hall, praying no one else was awake. The boys wouldn't wake up for a while, but Kiku and Mizoguchi were the first ones awake – to prepare breakfast. If he was caught in the halls, at dawn, leaving his girlfriend's room, the assistant-coach would kill him. He entered the room filled with sleeping, snoring boys – so different from Kiku's quiet and soothing sleep – and hurried to his futon, jumping under his covers and praying. He tried going back to sleep, but he had been too frightened to do that. Of course, the moment he started going back to sleep, his clock rang and his groan was the loudest of all.

The last day of the summer training camp wasn't much different from the others except maybe that after four intense days, everyone was a little more tired. It didn't stop them for practicing all day long, relaxing only after they had won their practice match against the team of Sendai University with many Seijou's alumni.

"We finished earlier than planned," Hanamaki remarked, sitting down and drinking water.

"Honestly, it's nice to finally rest after the entire week." Mattsun added.

They both glanced at Iwaizumi, worried he might suddenly ask everyone to go for another round of training regiment (he had done that already, training them until they'd drop on the final day) but they sighed in relief when he seemed too lost in thoughts to hear them. Or maybe he was too tired himself to propose it – it wasn't even because of the training, but they knew he hadn't slept well all week long.

Kiku approached the group of third-years with a smile:

"The coaches went off to buy some ice-creams and drinks to everyone, but they told me to stay to wait for my father, he'll will bring some cookies." She announced.

Many overheard and rejoiced about it, cheering and smiling.

"Thank you, Kiku-chan~!" Oikawa exclaimed with a happy smile.

"If I had known I'd get cookies from your bakery, I would have asked you to become our manager years ago," Makki added with a grin.

"I almost did," she admitted with a sheepish smile.

All four third-years looked up at her with wide eyes, not believing it as she shrugged it off:

"Uncle Nobuteru wanted me to be the team's manager but… I joined the cheering club. I was too stubborn to stop until you… convinced me to come here instead." She admitted and even if she talked to all of them, her eyes only sparkled when they met Hajime's.

The couple immediately looked away, flushing a little in embarrassment.

"When I think that you could have spared us two years and a half of Iwaizumi's frustration and training regiment, it truly is a shame…" Matsukawa said, glancing accusingly at the Ace for these years of suffering.

Hajime glared at him half-heartedly, knowing he was joking for the most part, while Kiku chuckled adorably, immediately making his heart melt and his frown disappear. Oikawa, Hanamaki and Matsukawa sighed upon seeing that – if only Kiku had joined the team right away…

"Hey! While we wait for the food, how about we sing and dance a little?" Oikawa proposed suddenly, already standing up.

"How do you want to do that when we're in the volleyball gymnasium?" Iwaizumi mumbled, frowning in confusion.

"How do you want to do that when we're exhausted?" Matsukawa added, unwilling to move.

"But! Kiku-chan worked so hard for us she barely had any fun at all, all week! You like singing and dancing, so let's do that! It'll be fun, everyone will get to relax!" Oikawa exclaimed, already turning around and going to where his phone was, "Makki, go get your thing!"

"E-eh…? B-but, it's fine! I had lots of fun!" Kiku protested but no one really listened.

Hanamaki sighed but stood up with a smile, quickly going back into the room to take his speaker. He had taken it so the team could watch movies but they had been so tired they had used it only once. When he came back, after some meddling between Oikawa's phone and the speaker, music started coming out of it. It wasn't loud enough to fill the entire gymnasium of course, but enough for a good part of the court to turn into a temporary dance floor. Most sat it out, but Oikawa took Kiku's hand and dragged her there, starting to make her spin around until she laughed. After a few seconds, despite her red cheeks and embarrassment, she went along with it. Dancing, humming and singing a little, she took turns dancing with everyone who wanted to – mostly Oikawa or Yahaba, but Makki and Mattsun danced as well. She taught a few steps to a flushed and awkward Kindaichi, when no one really followed the music anymore and just laughed and enjoyed their time together. The last training camp with the current team of Aoba Jousai.

Hajime watched from afar with a smile on his face, glad to see Kiku relax thanks to Oikawa. A few times he lowered his gaze because he disliked seeing how close Oikawa or Hanamaki danced with his girlfriend but… he was glad she was happy.

"Aren't you going to dance with Kiku?" Matsukawa asked him, dropping next to the Ace.

"I'm not… good at dancing… or this sort of things…" He mumbled, flushing in embarrassment.

"Pfff, yeah! We know!" He exclaimed, earning a look from his friend but Iwaizumi knew he was right to react like that, "But look at Kindaichi, he's no better than you but he's doing it to have fun. You know, after three years it should be obvious, but you have the right to relax as well. You don't have to always look after us."

Iwaizumi turned to him with slightly widened eyes. It was no secret that Iwaizumi, other than being the Ace and Vice-Captain, was the one keeping an eye on everyone, jokingly being called the mother of the team because he was too serious and always took care of them. Everyone knew but that it was pointed to him so explicitly by Matsukawa, or anyone, was a first.

"And, next year, if you want to move on, you'll have to let go eventually." Matsukawa added, grabbing his water bottle and drinking some.

Iwaizumi stared at him then at the scene of Kiku and Oikawa dancing. He didn't know what Kiku wanted to do next year but Oikawa would go to Tokyo, and he would remain here in Miyagi. To gain a new, different experience in volleyball and evolve more without depending on Oikawa as his setter. But the main reason why Iwaizumi was the team's "mom" was because he was Oikawa's; he had always looked after him since they were children, but mostly since middle-school. With everything that had happened: Oikawa overworking himself, their rivalry against Ushijima, Kageyama appearing and planting new fears in his friend's heart… If Iwaizumi hadn't been here these last six years to watch over Oikawa, he might be unable to play volleyball today, he would have been overwhelmed by everything. Letting Oikawa go on his own meant trusting him to take care of himself and being capable to not overdo anything. But all these feelings and emotions were mirrored in Iwaizumi's heart… he was so used to take care of Oikawa, would he be capable to handle training on his own without looking after him?

When the coaches and Shouta arrived with the food, the focus turned to what was essential: eating. Iwaizumi didn't feel much hunger with his thoughts plaguing his mind but he decided to keep his worries at bay and focus on what was important: enjoy their last summer training camp together in Aoba Jousai with the Spring High coming closer.

Hajime glanced around, occasionally munching on some cookies but he didn't have the courage to walk to Kiku and interrupt her conversation with Oikawa. He tried to ignore the discomfort in his heart to see them smiling and laughing so much, but he couldn't, jealousy and frustration and the will to tell Kiku she was his getting stronger and stronger.

Hanamaki noticed it, smiling to himself, glad that his plan was working. Whatever had happened between Iwaizumi and Kiku, they still felt just as strongly for each other, and Iwaizumi's frustration and lust was slowly getting too hard to ignore and shrug off. He still had one last card to play before the end of the training camp and it might be even better than the seven minutes in heaven for these two – if he could get Matsukawa to help him out. Unfortunately, the wing-spiker wasn't the only one to glance and notice the two – Shouta glanced between the couple but what he noticed was the distance between them. Physical and emotional and of course, his fatherly instinct kicked in and worry came.

Some time later…

The noise of the entire team gathering their stuff and calling for lost items throughout the rooms was making the hall much busier than it has been the entire week. Iwaizumi and Oikawa arrived later because they had talked with the coaches about the week, only seeing everyone go in and out of rooms, looking for various stuff and slowly getting ready to leave. Some, the fastest, were already dressed and saluted their Captain and Vice-Captain, wishing them good holiday, before leaving with their bags on their shoulders.

"All lost items, put it in this box!" Kiku exclaimed loudly, covering everyone's voices and noise.

"Ooosss!"

"Akiyama! Is the cafeteria still open? I left my jacket there during lunch!" Mattsun called.

"I'll open it for you! Anyone else needs to go there?"

When no one answered, probably not hearing her, she decided she'll leave the cafeteria open and will wait for everyone to be gone to make sure nothing would be left behind.

Just when Kiku was about to exit the room to guide Matsukawa, she bumped into Iwaizumi. He caught her by the waist, the two glancing at each other a short moment before flushing and looking away. He let go of her and she disappeared. Hanamaki sent a quick message to Matsukawa while Oikawa and Iwaizumi quietly gathered their stuff in their bags, making sure to not forget anything.

Meanwhile, in the cafeteria, Matsukawa and Kiku entered it, both looking around to find his jacket.

"Where did you leave it?" She asked, not seeing the white and turquoise jacket.

"Mmm… I don't know… it doesn't seem to be here, though… Sorry, I made you come all the way here for nothing." He apologized.

"It's fine…" She answered, already turning around.

Matsukawa found the soy sauce Hanamaki had hidden earlier, sharing with him his plan to provoke some moment between Kiku and Iwaizumi. He opened it discreetly but kept his hand around so that it wouldn't be noticed.

"Ah, looks like someone left some soy sauce bottle earlier!" He exclaimed, making Kiku turn around.

"I'll put it back in–"

Kiku gasped when Matsukawa gave her the bottle, but let it slip through his fingers so it'd splash on her shirt. She caught it in time before it'd meet the ground and he opened wide eyes:

"I'm so sorry! I thought you were holding it already!" He exclaimed, trying hard not to smile or laugh and break the play.

"I-it's fine… aah… I'll have to change now!" She exclaimed, quickly putting the soy sauce bottle on the counter and the two going back to the hall with the rooms.

When Matsukawa came back into the team's room, he glanced at Iwaizumi:

"Iwaizumi! Kiku is calling for you! She needs your help for some paper she left in her room!" He exclaimed casually.

"Oh? Okay!" He answered, standing up and going to join her.

Matsukawa and Hanamaki shared a gaze and a nod, and with Oikawa, they all went into the hall to spy on what would happen.

Iwaizumi went to Kiku's room, the door closed. He knocked to announce his arrival and opened it.

"Matsukawa told me you…"

His voice trailed off when he caught sight of Kiku, just as frozen in shock, with her shirt off. She had turned around, blushing terribly, when he had entered, wearing only a bra and her pants. Hajime's eyes traveled over her body before he blushed and shook himself.

"I'm sorry!" He exclaimed, slamming the door shut.

He stared at the closed door for a short moment, still blushing and feeling frustration bubbling inside him. He bit hard on his lower lip, trying not to think too much of Kiku wearing only her bra. He swallowed hard and walked back to the boys' room, the three others acting as if nothing had happened even if they had seen the scene from afar.

"Are you all right, Iwa-chan? You're really red?" Oikawa said casually.

"I-I'm fine…" He answered, making sure once again he had everything in his bags even if he knew it was the case already.

"Considering you just came out of Kiku's room and you're so red, we could question your dignity, Iwaizumi~!" Hanamaki teased, even though he had been the one to plan it all.

When Iwaizumi blushed even more, looking restless and trying to hide his lack of composure, they cheered silently. After such little attentions and glances, after the slow-building frustration of having his girlfriend under the same roof for an entire week, always suggesting but never seeing or doing anything, seeing Kiku wearing only her bra had been the fatal blow to Hajime's sexual frustration.

Everything was going according to plan.

Later, when almost everyone was gone, Oikawa was doing a check-up of everywhere to make sure nothing had been left behind or unput. When Iwaizumi approached him, he remembered what Hanamaki had asked of him.

"Do you know where Kiku is? I don't want her to go back on her own but I don't know if she went home already or not," Iwaizumi said, trying to hide the fact that he wanted to talk with her.

"Mmm, I saw her leave with Makki," Oikawa said, even though he knew Kiku was still around and checking on the cafeteria.

"Oh… then I'll go check the main building and cafeteria for lost items and–"

"No, Iwa-chan! It's okay! I'll handle it! You're tired and you worked hard all week, you can go ahead!" Oikawa exclaimed.

"…I'll help you out, and I'll wait for you to be done before we go home." He answered, it was unusual for Oikawa to tell him to go ahead.

"No, Iwa-chan, please, go ahead! I… have to meet someone…" He improvised, not having expected his friend to insist.

Oikawa glanced away, flushing a little at the idea of lying to his best friend so shamelessly – Iwaizumi would find out right away he was lying… But thankfully, Iwaizumi was too tired and restless, he understood the flush of his cheeks differently.

"Oh. T-then… good luck." He said, feeling awkward because he had no idea that Oikawa had another girl in sight recently.

Iwaizumi grabbed his bags, leaving it all to Oikawa. On his way out of the high-school though, Hajime came to a stop, staring at where the bicycles usually were. With the absence of students, it was normal that there'd be nothing. Except for the only bicycle here he recognized instantly. He didn't remember if Kiku had come with her bicycle and it happened she left it at school when she preferred walking home or was driven back by her uncle but… leaving it for the rest of the summer holiday? It seemed… strange. He glanced over his shoulder. Did she really go home with Hanamaki or did she remain behind? And… who was this person Oikawa was supposed to meet that left a flush on his cheeks?

Clenching his jaws and swallowing hard, Hajime turned around, leaving the school grounds.

It means NOTHING, he thought to himself, feeling like he was trying to convince himself.

Even if he was home and could relax and rest, Hajime just couldn't. Not only he couldn't stop thinking of Kiku, but he was also plagued with ridiculous jealousy and doubts. There was no way Oikawa would lie to him so shamelessly if he wanted to see Kiku? After all… they were friends… Even if Oikawa always tried to include her to their group when he was too embarrassed to do it himself, even if they had danced and sung together, even if… he was meeting someone who made him flush and that the chances of Kiku still being in the highschool at this moment being high. Hajime had always thought he wouldn't be the jealous type, and in most cases, he wasn't but right now… he couldn't help but turn around in his bed, desperately trying to find something that would prove he was over thinking. Perhaps… perhaps Kiku had given him time to think, had requested this break in their relationship because she wanted to end it…? Perhaps she preferred Oikawa but wanted to break up with him slowly, to not hurt him? She wouldn't be the first one preferring Oikawa, after all…

No, no, no… He thought to himself, eyes wide open and frenetically turning around once again, Kiku asked ME not to leave in her sleep, she even said she loved me in her sleep…!

"…But he… needs to live his life…"

"I… didn't even tell him… that I love him…"

…But she didn't say my name, she only said "him"… He realized, suddenly sitting up in the darkness of his room.

He pondered it a moment before letting out a pterodactyl screech, shaking his spiky hair in frustration.

"AaAAAGGH!"

"HAJIME! It's the middle of the night! Go to sleep!" His mother screamed from his parents' bedroom, across the other side of the hall.

The following day, determined to talk to Kiku, to wash away his doubts and to tell her his decision about whether or not he wanted to afford being in a relationship with her, he tried to contact her but when she didn't answer, getting impatient, he just went to the Akiyama Bakery. Only to find out Kiku wasn't here and had gone to see him. Curious because she hadn't told him anything, and he should have crossed her path, he went away, unaware of Shouta's burning gaze on his back. He tried again to contact her but no answer so he just went home with the hope he would meet her on the way there. What a shock it was when he looked up and saw Kiku exiting Oikawa's apartment, both smiling and Kiku blushing…

"What the…" Hajime murmured, going to a stop.

Kiku and Oikawa noticed him and looked up, stunned to see him there.

"Oh, Iwa-chan! Kiku-chan just wanted to go and see you!" Oikawa exclaimed, lightly pushing Kiku forward.

Her lips opened and closed, glancing between the setter and the Ace, blushing even more at his words. Her hesitant stance and the way it had seemed so forceful only increased Hajime's doubts. He frowned and approached them:

"Okay, I know you think I'm dumb enough to not be fooled but not to that point. What the fuck is going on?"

"I don't see what you're–"

"Don't think me an idiot, Oikawa!" He exclaimed, throwing his hands to the sky with an exasperated expression, "Yesterday you said Kiku had gone ahead with Hanamaki but I saw her bike and you looked all embarrassed and you hid something from me! Are you the girl he met yesterday?!"

"What are you…"

Kiku's voice trailed off, looking up at Oikawa who bit his lower lip. From what she knew, the previous day, Hanamaki had gone off early, so did Mattsun, and later, while she was checking up the main building and cafeteria, Iwaizumi had been too tired and gone home ahead, leaving it to Oikawa and her to handle the check-up. He had been pretty tired so she hadn't doubted the setter's words.

"What did you tell him?" She asked in disbelief.

Oikawa opened his lips to answer but Iwaizumi interrupted him:

"Hold on– why are you being so casual with him? Why did you come out of his place?" He continued, still frowning, "Don't think I didn't notice you two talking to each other, and you being all close and overly friendly with Hanamaki and Matsukawa as well! You give me time to think about our relationship and you go with others after what? Two days in our break?!" He exclaimed.

Oikawa's eyes widened, realizing that the distance between them during the training camp had been because of a break. Neither had mentioned anything and despite the distance, nothing had given it away. With how much himself, and Makki, and Mattsun, kept going to Kiku to tell her of a new plan, no wonder Iwa-chan's imagination had gone overboard.

Kiku, offended by his tone, whipped towards Hajime, slowly getting annoyed by the way he was treating her – he had barely looked at her the past few weeks, he had been almost indifferent all week even if she had been the one to give him time to think, and now he was being territorial?

"Are you… being jealous…?!" She hissed.

"I'm not jealous! I just don't understand how you're functioning!"

"You ARE being jealous!" She exclaimed, glaring at him accusingly.

Oikawa glanced between the two, feeling trapped and suddenly worried.

Oh no, Makki, your plan worked TOO WELL and now he's boiling in jealousy… He realized.

"U-um…" He tried speaking up to calm them down but they didn't seem to hear or even notice his presence any longer.

"How dare you be jealous when you barely show me any love and interest to the point where I doubt of your feelings for me?!" She exclaimed.

"We already talked about that, didn't we? And it has nothing to do with your behavior with the other guys!"

"I'm just– they're my friends! I'm just spending time with my friends, like I would spend time with Yuuna!"

Hajime turned red in anger, violent emotions going on through his eyes.

Nice one, Kiku-chan, go and tell him you're spending time with me the same way you're spending time with Yuuna-chan – his rival who is so in love with you. Good. Oikawa thought, waiting for Iwaizumi to blow.

"If you're being jealous and don't even understand what you're feeling then I can't help you! I gave you time to think if you were willing to be serious enough to be with me – not to go and imagine things that never happened and never will, and especially not with someone like Oikawa!"

"I-I'm still here…" He intervened, feeling like he had been slapped by the honesty of her words.

"You think I didn't think about us these last few days?! That's all I had in mind!" He exclaimed, ignoring Oikawa.

Kiku opened her lips to answer to him but Oikawa appeared between the two, trying to interrupt them:

"Calm down, both of–"

"SHUT UP!" They both shouted, glaring at him for intervening.

He startled, stepping backwards sheepishly. But at the very least, his intervention managed to remind Hajime and Kiku they were still in public, even if no one else was around.

"I wanted to see you to discuss that, so if you want to keep screaming at me because you're frustrated, instead of listening to me, go ahead! The door's opened!" Hajime said, pointing at his door and sounding bitterer than intended.

"Fine!" She exclaimed, going in with a roll of her eyes.

"Fine!" He echoed, walking past Oikawa.

He opened his lips, trying to stop them because he wasn't sure they were in any state to talk about anything but the door was already slammed close.

"…Be careful…" He murmured, going back into his own place, worrying a little for the two.

In the Iwaizumi apartment, empty except for the frustrated couple, Kiku went directly into his bedroom so they could have intimacy – in case one of his parents would come home. He followed her and found her with her arms crossed over her chest.

"All right, so, you wanted to talk. Talk." She said, annoyed.

During the few seconds they had not yelled at each other, Hajime had calmed down a little and despite her still, obviously annoyed tone, he tried to keep his emotions in check:

"Look, I get that I messed up by not being intimate with you and I apologize for being scared when I have the right to be so! Considering who you are and what happened to you, freaking out about being serious with you is pretty natural!" He started.

Kiku looked up at him, unable to deny the way he felt because she knew he might have felt this way at some point – and it was why she had given him time to think.

"I'm thankful to you for giving me time to think about it and I did! I tried! But I couldn't think clearly because when you're not here, I can't function normally, not anymore! And it only proves that my fears are justified because i-it's scary depending so much on someone for your own happiness and everything!" He explained, "You're what keeps me balanced!"

Kiku stared at him, so many emotions going on in her eyes he couldn't figure out what she felt. From the way she looked slightly confused, she might not know how she felt either.

"Then why are you spitting it like some… disease?" She said with a light shake of her head, "I… I need you too to function normally! And my crush and feelings for you, from afar, were more than enough until you started showing interest in me–"

"Are you blaming me for falling in love with you?" He exclaimed in disbelief.

"No! Don't twist my words! But our relationship didn't turn out as… as perfect as I had imagined it to be!"

"I never imagined the girlfriend I was waiting for would be… would be…"

His voice trailed off and he didn't dare meet Kiku's eyes. She took a sharp intake of breath before stepping towards him, close enough so they weren't out of reach from each other anymore:

"Would be what? Say it, Hajime! Say what you really think of me!" She hissed.

"Would be so damaged!" He shouted, clenching his fists.

Kiku and Hajime looked into each other eyes, blue and green clashing with all of their emotions. Anger and sadness at what it had turned to be. But there was still the love they couldn't ignore.

"You, being damaged, makes me fragile and I… I told you I'm scared of needing you someday. I don't know how to do to keep you… to keep you alive and happy! I keep messing up and… and…"

He let out a heavy sigh, closing his eyes and letting his hands go over his face and into his spiky hair.

"And I told you you need to trust me. I'm not going to kill myself just because I had a nightmare! No one is ever going to hurt me again! The Himura are gone, I have a family and friends and I… I want to have you too! But… you're… you're not actually here! You're my friend and I-I'm so in love with you but we… it feels like our relationship never really started beyond the sweet words and giggly smiles!" She exclaimed.

Hajime let out a heavy breath he hadn't realized he had been holding, looking down at Kiku, remembering what she had told him the other night.

"Tell me if you're willing to overcome your fears and trust me with my own life." She had told him.

He realized it was all she wanted: a relationship built on love and trust, that he wouldn't doubt her or protect her from life because there was no reason for that. She had gone through so much, no one could hurt her that much again, not enough to take away all of her reasons to keep on living. She had told him that falling in love with him had given her a reason to get up in the morning, go to school, just to see him from afar, and this had been enough for a while. But when they started having feelings of more, when they started dating, he suddenly put this distance between them. No touching, no intimacy, no making it real. Because making it real meant making himself vulnerable. It was scary but… but damn… he couldn't imagine his life without her anymore. He had fallen for her, heart, body and soul, he couldn't get enough of her. He wanted to see her, to hold her hand, to see her smile and hear her laugh. When she wasn't here or out of reach, he missed her. Damn. He was so in love with her and he could barely grasp the depth of his feelings for her – if he didn't act upon it, how could she understand he would never leave her and he loved her for everything she was? He was scared, it was certain, but he had no more reason to be scared because his biggest fear, to become dependent of her, had already come true. All he could do was hope they could start having a relationship built on love and trust.

Lost in his thoughts, he realized that Kiku, in his continuous silence, had continued, voice rising and rising, her voice becoming more raw as she expressed all of her feelings and insecurities:

"I don't even know anymore if you love me because you've acted so distant, for so long, no touching, looking disgusted and away from me that I can't help but think that your feelings of pity and admiration for me blinded you! That you thought it was love but now that you don't feel any desire for me, you don't know how to break up with me!"

Hajime tried speaking up, a little hurt she'd think he didn't love her enough or didn't want her, but before he could say anything, she continued, unaware of his growing impatience:

"Now that I know that you're scared, I can understand but come on! Don't think I'm some precious doll, made of glass that you can't touch or look at because I'm NOT! I'm not innocent, and I want you! I want you to touch me, to bite me, to fuck me and express your love with more than sweet words and long stares!"

Even if he knew she wasn't as innocent as he had initially thought, hearing her express her desire and lust for him was different. She had thought of him, of his touch, of his teeth marking her skin and it certainly wasn't because of their last quick and intense make-out session from seven minutes in heaven – it was all the signs she had thrown to him but he had missed from how blindly scared he had been.

"To prove that you're not ashamed of dating someone like me! That you–"

Hajime suddenly cupped her cheeks and kissed her. She gasped against his lips, shocked by the sudden, unexpected kiss. He opened her lips with his tongue, ravaging her mouth with a long, intense kiss. Pulling away for breath, he looked down at her with intense eyes, burning with lust and love:

"I want you too, you silly!" He exclaimed before kissing her again.

She kissed back, both battling to keep up with the other but she suddenly stopped him by putting her hands on his chest and pulling away.

"Wait–"

"You want me to express my love with more than sweet words and long stares, right? Then, let me love you, so that you can understand, once and for all, how much I'm in love with you! You think I didn't feel any desire for you? You're wrong, I've been going mad from lust for you and only you, that I held back in fear of hurting your body and your feelings!" He exclaimed.

Kiku let out a heavy breath, blushing under his intense gaze as he forced her face to look up at him. His green eyes were burning from weeks of held-back sexual frustration, of annoyance for how things had turned out, of jealousy and possessive, and mostly, endless love.

There was a short moment of silence when, even in his restless state, Hajime waited for Kiku to give him the get-go. Their hearts beat hard, in perfect harmony, they felt as if they could hear them resonate into the entire room.

Understanding that the only reasons why he never touched her were his fear of getting intimate and hurting her, Kiku felt a little stupid for doubting him. Of course he had put her safety and shyness first. How could he guess she wasn't the pure and innocent girl everyone thought her to be if she didn't express her desire for him with words? This time, they had both been too quiet and mistrusting and they were both to blame. She wanted to tell him all of that, make him promise that from now on, they'd talk about everything – but they would have all the time in the world to talk after they had expressed their love for each other.

[NSFW]

Her hands shot to the back of his neck, bringing him down for a passionate kiss. He answered at once, just as hot, his hands going to her waist and grabbing her firmly, pulling her against his muscular body, both cursing the clothes separating their skins from touching. Their kiss was so intense he pushed her until her back hit his desk, pushing it loudly against the wall. They ignored it, too taken into the make-out session they've been craving for so long. Hajime grabbed her behind and lifted her up, making her squeal before he let her sit on top of his desk. He hungrily started kissing her neck and shoulder, biting and sucking with all the frustration he had held back. She held onto him, moaning and already breathing hard.

He pulled her shirt over her head, looking down at her breasts held by a beautiful black and red lacy bra – not as innocent as he had thought her to be, uh. He admired her breasts for a moment, his hands cupping and squeezing them in awe and lust. But before he could get started, Kiku, just as lustful as him, pulled at his shirt quickly. He let go of her breasts, throwing his arms into the air so she could take off his shirt, her hands immediately going onto his chest. Both moaned as he went down to kiss her again, the hot bulge in his pants pressing against her warmth, her legs keeping him close enough to her body that his muscles would press against her curves.

Suddenly, the door of his bedroom flung open and they broke their kiss, turning around and seeing a panicked Oikawa.

"Iwa-chan! I know you're angry but don't hurt Kiku-chan and… and…"

Oikawa's voice trailed off when he took in the view. Kiku on Iwa-chan's desk, both bare-chested and obviously flushed from making-out.

Iwaizumi was the first to react, glaring at his friend for coming in unannounced and so shamelessly:

"Can't you see we're busy?!" He exclaimed, annoyed.

Oikawa had heard a loud bang coming from Iwaizumi's room – which had worried him because of how angry they had been a few minutes ago… but now he realized it might have been the desk being pushed against the wall.

"Oh. I'm sorry I had thought– well, I'm not going to bother you any longer but just… be safe – you have condom, Iwa-chan, right? Because if not I can–"

"GET OUT!" The couple shouted in the same voice.

Iwaizumi grabbed the nearest thing on his desk, unfortunately, not a volley ball but a random notebook, and threw it at Oikawa who closed the door in time to avoid it. The notebook hit the door and they heard Oikawa running away.

"This imbecile! What is he thinking?!" Iwaizumi hissed, glaring at the door.

"Who cares?" Kiku breathed, grabbing his face and forcing his attention back on her.

She pulled him down for another heated kiss and they immediately forgot Oikawa and his embarrassing, annoying intervention. Their hands traveled over each other's bodies until it became too much for Hajime who grabbed Kiku and easily threw her on his bed, making her squeal when she landed on it. She just had time to raise her head, that she saw him climb over the bed and making his way over her body like a wild animal. His lips started kissing her stomach, slowly making his way upward, making her sigh and let her head drop backwards. Between his hands and his mouth kissing and biting her body, she was slowly losing all consciousness of what was happening. It was too much, all at once and it was too good to be true.

When he reached her breasts, he started kissing and nibbling at the tender flesh, still amazed at how perfect they were in the palm of his hands. His hands went against her back and he swiftly opened her bra, making Kiku blink in disbelief while he threw it over his shoulder and went back against her breasts, massaging and kissing. She let out a pleased sigh, vaguely thinking that for someone without experience, he had easily and quickly gotten the hang of how to take off a bra. Hopefully, he'll get to do it again soon. She bit on her lower lip, her fingers going into his spiky hair, encouraging him and he bit hard, making her scream.

"Fuck… it sounds so hot…" He mumbled against her skin, starting to kiss and tenderly bite on her neck.

His voice low, hard, trembling in frustration was everything she had hoped and dreamed about.

Kiku let out a heavy sigh, keeping her hands into his hair as he gave her blinding sensations. Then she smiled, letting her head fall backwards, an ecstatic chuckle escaping her lips.

"Do you have any idea how hot your voice sounds right now?" She answered.

He stopped his kissing, hovering over her, his green eyes diving into her blue ones. They stared at each other, desire and love filling the air, making it sparkle all around them. Then, Hajime smirked and her heart missed a beat. She bit hard on her lower lip to keep her squeal down just upon seeing this handsome smile. It was a smile she had never seen on his face – he often smiled at some joke, he'd grin in victory after a good spike, he'd smile softly to her and only her but this… this was a smirk no one had ever seen. A smirk expressing that he knew what he was doing to her body with just his voice and gaze and he was enjoying it.

Kiku kissed him again, hungrily, and he kissed back. She moaned in his mouth while his hands wandered over her body and she dug her nails into his shoulders, making him groan and gods was it a sound she loved.

"Fuck, I've wanted you for so long…" He whispered in a trailed voice after this intense kiss.

It was Kiku's turn to smirk, rolling her eyes. Hands against his chest she forced him to roll over his back, climbing over his hips and looking down at him. He looked up at her, bewildered she had pushed him over and was the one now pressing her hips down on his burning erection through their pants. Hands still on his chest, she looked at his body from his handsome face to his broad shoulders, muscular arms… Her hands followed her gaze, brushing over his perfect pectorals, defined abs and his hipbones, leading her downwards right where their hips met. She bent down, her breasts meeting his chest as she kissed him, softly at first but quickly heating up while he finally shook himself out of his stunned state. His hands grabbed her behind and pushed her closer, making her squeal. Not only because he had grabbed so firmly her cheek butts through her clothes but also because it had made her covered pussy brush against his erection. Their thick jeans were making it hard to enjoy fully how it felt, but they were so hot and bothered that it was enough to make them close their eyes, groans echoing in the room. Hajime took the opportunity that Kiku was too overwhelmed by the sensation of pleasure to roll her over once again.

He started kissing her again, their chests now pressed together while his hands went to the rest of their clothes. He pulled hurriedly at his belt and zipper of his jeans, letting his hand brush over his erection to relieve some of the pressure, making him groan instantly. He hid his face into Kiku's neck before he grabbed her jeans. He managed, by quick, frustrated moves of his fingers to take off her zipper and she instantly lifted up her hips, letting him take it off and threw the jeans on the side. He took off his own jeans, barely realizing that only their underwear kept them from being totally naked. It was only when he felt her bare leg brush against his thighs and hips that he realized it. He straightened up, the vision a little unrealistic and leaving him out of breath for a short moment. Just sitting on his knees, with a wild erection, was already something he never thought would happen, but Kiku laying down, her beautiful body just burning to be touched more and more and more, with only her panties keeping her safe from his hands and mouth… He almost came right here and then.

They could smell the scent of arousal from both, surrounding them, filling the room and their senses, making everything more intense. Hajime went down once again, kissing her breasts and stomach and making his way downwards. Kiku instinctively had the reflex to closer her legs before opening them for him. He purposefully ignored her pussy no matter how tempting it was to bury his head there, and he started kissing and biting the inside of her thighs. From the way she trembled under his touch, squealing and jumping, it was a sensitive area. He glanced at her, smiling to see her with flushed cheeks, eyes closed and heavy breaths escaping her lips.

She opened her eyes and met his gaze, both blushing even more.

"D-do you know what you're doing…?" She asked, sounding a little hesitant.

He realized that unlike the blowjobs she had given him, she had never received anything from him. Especially not down there, actually, she had never been so bare to him, or anyone else before. Despite her arousal, it was natural she felt a little anxious. Hajime kept staring at her intensely, nibbling lightly on her thigh, not realizing how hot his gaze looked and how much it made her insides clench in a painful pleasure. His other hand traveled the length of her other leg and he bent down, getting closer to her covered pussy. His left hand held her hip, the right one kept her leg up so he could still have a good access on her thigh. Without ever breaking eye-contact with Kiku, he let his tongue out, licking the entire length of her pussy even if it was covered by her panties. Kiku stopped breathing as he slowly traveled the entire length, discovering a new, addicting taste. Her panties were so thin he was overwhelmed by the smell and taste of her juices, proof of her arousal for him. Gods, that was boosting his ego. When he felt a little numb under his tongue, her clitoris, he closed his lips to suck on it, earning a blissful gasp from Kiku.

She momentarily closed her eyes, breaking the eye-contact before looking back at him as he moved of a few centimeters away from her pussy. He could sense the silent question begging for an answer. He smirked knowingly, eyes sparkling mischievously.

"You're not the only one who did some research on the topic, sweetheart," he said in a hot voice.

She gasped again, blushing furiously when she realized he had understood she had made a lot of research on how to give a blowjob.

He bit the inside of her thigh, closer to her pussy, which made her scream and jump. He smiled against the soft skin, glad to earn such reactions from her. His fingers twisted around the sides of her panties and he slowly started to pull them off, slowly at first but when she didn't say no and even lifted up her hips for encouragement, he gladly pulled it off in a quick, impatient move. Within seconds, he was holding onto her hips and burying his face once again. This time, there was no clothe to disturb the taste of her juices. Her squeals were smothered by his loud growl, vibrating into her entire body. Just like she had known what to do when she had given him a blowjob, he knew what to do to give her pleasure, despite a few clumsy flicks of tongue, he immediately managed to make her moan and sigh. One hand clenched his sheets desperately while her other hand shot to grab his hair ferociously, pulling and encouraging him to do more and get closer. He growled, following her lead while her moans increased in volume. Needing a break to breath and settle down the sensations going through his body, Hajime pulled away, breathing heavily.

"It tastes so good…! Why didn't you tell me it'd taste this good? I would have done that weeks ago!" He mumbled, licking his lips and about to go back to his feast.

"How am I supposed to know what it tastes like for you? But if it tastes half as good as your cum, I can't blame you."

Stunned by her words, he looked up from between her legs. She smirked, raising her eyebrow coyly. Momentarily forgetting what he had been doing a moment ago, he swiftly moved upwards to kiss her fully, his tongue meeting hers before their lips could and then their bodies pressing together as if they were made for one another. He kissed her intensely before pulling away, for breath and to look into her eyes.

"That's how you taste, for information," he said in a hot breath.

"I was too overwhelmed by the sensations your kiss gave me. Give me another taste–" she ordered in a low voice, pulling his face down for another kiss.

He happily obliged. They moaned when their bodies moved on their own, following the desire shooting through their bodies. His muscular chest pressing against her curves, her legs wrapped around his waist, he was trapped between her arms and legs – not that he complained. But it also meant that his painful erection was pressing, through his boxers, against her warm pussy. He closed his eyes and they both growled. Unable to hold himself back, he did it again and this time, Kiku held onto his shoulders, her thighs pressing against his hips, encouraging him. He cupped her cheeks, pushing away some of her hair, stuck to her face from how sweaty they were. He kissed her lips, while she moaned and turned her head away. He bit on her neck and her hips met his. He growled louder, he bit harder. His entire body tensed and slowed down as he tried to hold back to not hurt her. But Kiku's fingers went into his hair, tugging lightly. It forced his face away from the crook of her neck and she lifted up her head, forehead pressing against his, their heavy breaths mixing together.

"Don't. Don't hold back, don't be scared…" She breathed against his lips, with a soft smile.

She pressed her lips against his quickly but he was too overwhelmed by the sensations to kiss her back in time as she let her nose brush against his, biting down on her lower lip.

"I trust you, Hajime…" She whispered, sparkling blue eyes diving into his green ones.

He stared into her eyes, heart missing a beat before relief and peace of mind fell down on him. She smiled and was encouraging him, keeping him close to her, steadily rolling her hips against his and mostly, keeping her gaze into his, a necessary anchor for both. That was it – it wasn't just a balanced relationship, the wish to be together, about love or unsaid desire… Kiku was Hajime's anchor, and he was hers.

Quietly, the same message went through their eyes as they realized it in the same time – they were each other's anchors.

Now reassured and knowing that it wasn't just his lust for her, but that she trusted him and loved him and desired him just as much, Hajime didn't hold back anymore. He kissed her intensely, keeping her lower lip trapped between his teeth as she moaned and the rolling of his hips against hers intensified. She was pinned down to the mattress for a moment because of the sudden vigor he was pushing against her but quickly, her nails digging into his back, their lips meeting for a short, desperate kiss, stealing air from the other but trying to give it back instantly, they rolled their hips in harmony. She squealed, he growled, her voice got higher and he let out a louder growl, their voices rising continuously, until they couldn't hear themselves anymore, weren't aware of what they were doing. They were only aware of how intensely they felt for each other, their eyes never leaving one another. They kept on moving, faster and harder, his fingers grabbing her hair desperately, her nails scratching his back. She screamed and he smothered his own growl by biting her shoulder but a second after, he let out a loud groan.

They came in the same time, their voices quieting suddenly, silence falling on them as they were blinded, overwhelmed by the sensation of being, for a short moment, beyond anything they knew and felt.

Their bodies froze, and a moment later, Hajime fell against Kiku, both breathing heavily, voices raspy. It took them a moment to come down from their high and he rolled on his side, remaining side by side with Kiku. Her hand shakily reached for him and he slid his fingers through hers, bringing her hand up to his lips and giving a long, hot kiss against her knuckles. Then he let his head drop on the mattress, letting their joined hands rest over his chest. He could feel her wild heartbeat through her fingers, and she could feel his heart resonating in harmony through his chest.

"That was…" He started.

His lips tilted up and he started laughing. He thought he was sounding creepy but her laugh joined his. The sparkling, happy sound he loved so much and hadn't heard in too long.

"See what we've been missing because you were scared?" She teased, sending a glance his way.

"Oi, my fears are not to be ignored."

She moved, lifting herself up on her elbow, still holding his hand but looking down at him, her hair falling around her face in a terrible mess. He could see the curve of her breasts, still red and slowly bruising from the hickeys he had left her – there would be no hiding these ones with her hair and Hajime swore to himself to not go around the Bakery until all of her hickeys were gone. He didn't want to finish baked by her father.

"I know." She said, sounding serious, but her eyes were sparkling happily after everything that had happened, "From now on, we promise we're going to share everything. Fears, doubts, insecurities, everything."

He kissed her hand again, nodding.

"Promise," he answered with a smile, his heart beating rapidly in mere joy to have her back in his life.

She smiled back, her eyes darting to his lips before looking back at his eyes. Her blue eyes sparkled even more, shining from unshed tears of happiness.

"I love you…" She whispered.

Their hearts beat faster, a peaceful warmth spreading through their bodies. It was her first "I love you".

"I love you too…" He murmured with an enchanted smile.

It was the first time he was saying it without being cause by anger or annoyance or any strong and undesired emotion.

Kiku laughed delightfully, tears of happiness rolling down her cheeks. His own eyes felt watery as he cupped her cheeks, his thumbs wiping away the beautiful tears but her smile was so bright it made rainbows shine in them. He wasn't sure if he pulled her down to her, or if she leaned down, but their kiss was tender and full of love.

When she pulled away, with her curvy body pressing against his, Hajime turned on his side, his hands playfully caressing her sides and making her chuckle.

"Considering we missed a few weeks of make-out sessions, we should definitely catch up while we have time."

"We have the entire time of the summer holiday to catch up," she said with a smile.

"U-uh, it won't be enough for me to have enough of you, cupcake." He said with a playful smile, rolling over her body and kissing her lips softly.

"You'd better get started then."

Hajime looked down at her, stunned. He would never get used to her suggestive flirting, or at the way it made his body feel so warm. His hands reached for her legs, pulling them apart so he could press his erection, hardening again, against her pussy.

"Ready for the second round?" He suggested with a smirk.

She smirked back but like before, she rolled him over, sitting on top of his laps and hands against his chest. Gods, she was so hot, looking down at him like that.

"You really think you can handle me?" She asked, with a mischievous smile.

He laughed, happier and more excited than he ever felt in his entire life.

---

A very long chapter, for the one-year anniversary of this story~! I'm so proud to have come this far and I'm so happy so many people are enjoying it! :D I hope it will keep up!

Kijime is finally back together, happier than ever, no more sexual frustration or any frustration of any kind in-between.

NEXT CHAPTER : THE STAR FESTIVAL

Once again, thank you all~! :D

Yours Truly,

May