A/N: So this is really a part of the Redux series I have up, but I haven't finished "What Fears May Come" yet and in the meantime I had written this as an extension for 3x12. Canon up until the reveal.
It doesn't seem like much.
It doesn't seem like it should matter.
Less than a second — that's all it takes.
But what if that was just long enough, what if a second was all it took.
For a heart to stop.
For a person to break.
One second too many, one second too slow.
What if that's all it took.
... ... ... ...
Kara turns around as the coffee cup clatters to the ground.
She watches as Lena falls.
Watches the strangled effort it takes her breathe.
Hears her heart race as her lungs constrict.
Less than a second — that's all it takes — but it's still more than she's willing to risk.
The wind rushes past them, and Kara flies as fast as she can, holds onto Lena as hard as she dares.
Her voice calls out frantic over her comms until her sister answers back.
"Alex! Alex! Please. Alex!"
"I'm here. Hey, hey. I'm here."
"She's — her hearts beating too fast Alex. It's too fast, and she can't breathe."
Confused, Alex tries to get her to calm down. "Slow down, where are you?"
But half-answers are all she gives. "I'm on my way there. Alex, I'm sorry, I had to,
I'm sorry."
Her sister tries again, needing more than Kara's panicked pleas. "You have to calm down. You have to tell me what's happening."
"Lena. He tried to kill her. You have to help her Alex."
"Okay, okay. I've got a team coming okay. Just get her here."
Kara's hands tighten their grip, and she pushes harder.
Just a few more seconds.
But what if it's not enough.
It has to be enough.
Just a few more seconds.
... ... ... ...
Not daring to slow down any more than needed, Alex braces her as she stumbles through the glass doors.
"What happened?"
Her words force themselves through quickened breathes as Lena is taken from her arms.
"Edge tried to poison her, it, it was in her coffee."
Her hands now useless, Kara wraps them tightly around herself as Alex steps forward trying to make sense of the chaos.
There's nothing she can do to help.
There's nothing she can do but watch.
Everything seems to happen all at once. Lena's blouse and jacket are cut open while electrodes are placed on her chest and needles pushed into her arm as her body jerks off the gurney and Alex's voice calls out in alarm.
"Shit, she's seizing. Two-hundred milligrams phenobarbital, stat. Two liters of saline, run it open. I want a radial artery line and two red tops…Come on Lena, calm down, calm down"
The monitors and alarms echo Kara's own panic.
She tries to filter out the noises of the machines, tries to block out the people and voices that fade in and out around her.
"Blood pressure 70 over palp. Pulse is erratic and falling fast."
She listens for Lena's heartbeat, needs to hear it for herself, but when she does it only scares her more.
Because Lena's heart is no longer racing — no longer fighting — it's fading, slowing, stopping.
She knows they are running out of time.
She knows that Lena is dying in front of her.
And when Alex turns to her Kara can see that she knows it too.
"Kara I need to know what poison he used."
Her voice wavers with its helplessness. "I-I-I don't — I don't know."
Her hands tremble powerless.
Alex hesitates only a second, her mind racing through itself "Mustard gas, cyanide, strychnine" — she leans in toward Lena, smelling her breath —"Almonds. Cyanide. Push fifty mils of sodium thiosulfate."
Alex presses the stethoscope to Lena's chest as it strains for oxygen.
"How long has it been?"
Kara answers, but can't look away as the numbers on the monitor one by one turn red.
"Ah, A-About two, three minutes."
Alex's voice holds steady.
"We need time but her body's already shutting down. If we can slow her circulation, induce hypothermia, we can protect her brain and heart while the medicine counteracts the poison"
Kara slows her own breathing and focuses. Finally, there is something she can do to help.
"I can do it. Let me do it."
Alex looks at her and nods her head as the medical team halts their movements.
Kara lets out a slow, steady breath, the cold air floating over Lena until her sister's touch tells her it's enough.
But what if it's not enough.
It has to be enough.
With a whispered prayer, she waits.
"Come on, come on, come on, come on Lena"
Second after second recedes.
Then as suddenly as it threatened to stop, the steady echo of Lena's heartbeat fills the room again and the violent tremors cease.
Kara can hear the relief in her sister's voice. "Normal sinus rhythm."
She draws a shaking hand to her chest. Feels her own heart racing underneath.
She watches the steady rise and fall of Lena's chest, counts each second in-between from one breath to the next.
Somehow it was enough.
... ... ... ...
Sometimes Kara lets herself hide inside the world around her. She Lets her eyes wander into the distance until she can't see what's in front of her. She lets every sound come together until she can't hear her own thoughts.
But tonight, there is nowhere to hide. Looking out into the city, Kara can see nothing but the pain around her. Hear nothing but the doubts inside her.
The sound of J'onns heavy footsteps draws her away from her silent penance as he comes up beside her.
"You did a brave thing back there, risking your identity to save her."
Kara nods. Tells him the truth, or at least part of it.
"I had to. I don't know who I would be if I hadn't"
J'onn pauses a moment, weighing her answer, choosing his words.
"Alex says Lena will wake up soon."
She nods again.
"When she does, I think it's time you told her the truth."
Kara looks up at this, eyes questioning and disbelieving at the chance he is giving her.
"This world is a crazy place right now Kara. People are acting, reacting, escalating behaviors. Your job is to protect the people of Earth and be there for the people you love. If anything, today proves how much that's true."
Kara hesitates, after everything still unsure.
"Do you think she'll hate me?"
J'onn smiles. "I know she won't, but I also know that's not really what you're afraid of."
She's afraid she isn't enough.
Kara wrings her hands together in front of her as the seconds pass between them. When she speaks again, her voice reflects the pain of truths she is so desperate to hide.
"I can't fail. I can't lose anyone else. The Worldkillers are out, planning, and I'm just waiting for them to make their next move."
J'onn counters her distrust in herself.
"The Worldkillers will come, and when they do, you'll be ready, we'll be ready"
Kara lets herself push back.
"Alex got hurt. Leslie was killed. Lena almost died. Those things happened because of me. I let Reign beat me, I couldn't stop Edge. What if it isn't enough, what if I'm not enough."
J'onn moves his hands to Kara's shoulders as she tries to hold back the tears in her eyes.
"You can't save everyone Kara, but Alex is still here, Lena is still here, and we're all with you. You can't let yourself push people away out of fear of what might happen. You have to let yourself love them. Let yourself fight for them. Let yourself be the person they believe in. If you don't, if you let them take that away then they win. It won't matter how many bullets you catch."
... ... ... ...
Kara can hear the subtle change in Lena's heartbeat, the slight hitch in her breathing right before her eyes open.
"Uh…What happened?"
A look of confusion passes over Lena's face, and her hand comes up to her head as she tries to sit up.
Kara gently eases Lena back against the pillows. "Hey, take it easy, you're okay."
Lena nods her head wearily, the ghost of a smile on her lips.
"I had the strangest dream. We were flying, and you were carrying me."
Kara laughs nervously.
"I think they gave you the fun drugs."
Lena looks at her; eyes half closed as she tries to adjust to the pain in her head and the stiffness in her limbs.
"Why do I feel like I've been hit by a Truck"
Kara pauses, taking in a measured breath as she reaches out to take Lena's hand.
"You were poisoned."
Kara sees the question in her eyes; the mixture of pain and fear and anger, and tries to reassure her.
"You're okay; you're going to be fine. I brought you here, and they were able to stop it."
Lena nods her head and turns toward her, a subtle flash of recognition in her eyes and hope in her voice.
"It wasn't a dream, was it?"
Lena pauses.
"You were carrying me."
And this time it's not a question.
Kara lets go of Lena's hand and stares at the floor.
"No. No it wasn't a dream"
Lena doesn't say anything. Kara doesn't look up. The seconds stretch until Kara thinks the silence may never break.
But then it does in clear realization.
"You were carrying me."
Kara finally allows herself to look up at Lena and is met not with hate or anger, but confusion.
"I'm sorry. I know it's a lot, and I know it might not be enough, but I'm sorry I lied for so long"
Lena shakes her head slightly as she rolls the cuff of Kara's sweater in between her fingers.
"No. I mean you were carrying me. Not as, not as Supergirl, as Kara."
The confusion now is all her own as Kara searches Lena's eyes for answers.
"How did, how did you know."
Lena answers with a small smirk.
"I told you, you're terrible at hiding things from me."
Her chest heaves with relief. Lena knew. Lena knew, and she was still there.
Kara thinks of what to say next, of the answers she owes her.
She feels the gentle squeeze of Lena's hand, the concern in her voice drawing them back together. But Lena doesn't ask for reasons.
"what if someone had seen you?"
And Kara has to do this, needs Lena to understand she is more important than any one part of her, that she deserves all of her.
"There wasn't any time. I couldn't waste any time, you were..." Her voice trails off, unwilling even now to admit how close it had been.
Lena's hand rests on Kara's cheek, her thumb wiping at the tears now staining her cheeks as she echoes back the words she spoke that night on her couch.
"Well Supergirl may have saved me, but Kara Danvers, you are my hero."
... ... ... ...
Less than a second — that's all it takes for Kara Danvers to become Supergirl.
But what if that was long enough, what if a second was all it took.
To lose someone.
To regret something.
What if that's all it took.
Because a second doesn't seem like much until it's all you have left.
Yes? No? Good? Bad? ... Let me know in that little box underneath... and always, thanks for reading!