Quick note there will be a second part to this

-x-

In the early hours of the morning a faint screeching alarm could be heard throughout the hallways of Stark tower. It's unpleasant high notes reach none of the occupants behind closed doors but one. Having been the only one to pass out in the air ducts Clint groans out a jumble of profanities before slowly easing his way out of the air vent. Placing his feet on the ground softly after precariously dealing with the air vent and the world spinning he sets off lurching towards the kitchen.

As Clint got closer to the kitchen he started to hear more than a relentless screech, in fact, the unexpected murmurings seemed to be getting increasingly louder. Pushing the doors button his face scrunches up in pain as all hell unleashes from the opening door. The smell of something burning was strongly hanging in the air as Clint walked further into a disaster zone. Stepping over chunks of ceiling, glass, and a burning chair leg he pulls at the alarms lever. It creaks under his force but refuses to budge. Letting out a frustrated groan Clint punches the lever breaking it's casing. The alarm beeps rapidly three times before shutting down. Exhaling in relief Clint goes back to making his way around the chaotic mess.

"Ah! Good, it's just you!" Stark's booming voice rings throughout his eardrums as he looks around in bitter sorrow. The scene he was unfortunately present in reminded him of the aftermath they all had to witness. The group, once after fighting and given the time, would look for people that had been caught in the middle of their battles. Everyone had their own reasons for doing these good deeds undercover but no matter what it be it left them all feeling just a tad bit warmer. Seeing this place he could almost call home get broken nearly once a week weighed heavily in the reoccurring memories.

Exposed wires from the ceiling hang dangerously low sparking every time two wires cross paths. Chard marks litter the floor and walls as Clint trekked forward after eyeing the wires suspiciously. He could see Stark's form standing over a smoking sink. Looking a bit closer he sees Stark's hand covered in Iron Man armour holding onto a small blue glowing disc. It looked suspiciously like the widow bites Natasha uses. Clint quickly turns stiff before frantically looking around.

"Please, just tell me the coffee machine is fine? Natasha and Maria will kill us both if it isn't."

Tony throws off his Iron Man glove along with the disc and climbs down from the sink. His smile widens as he gets closer to Clint.

"Not if we buy a new one! Jarvis can you please turn the news on? Have to make sure our schedules are clear today!" He winks at Clint before rummaging through broken glass and dining room apolstery. Clint sighs at Stark's causal dismiss of something that could actually have them both killed.

"This just in we have some breaking news! Former Deputy Director of S.H.I.E.L.D Maria Hill has been spotted seemingly unconscious on top of Interstate 90's Eastbound over head sign. Earlier this morning the authorities had gotten calls from concerned drivers that a female had climb up the sign holding onto an unidentifiable bottle. The reports claim that Ms. Hill was stumbling ov-"

Wide eyed and shocked Clint stumbles over Stark's mess to the TV. The crisp picture on the screen shows a very passed out Maria Hill nearly hanging off the sign. His surprise deepens as he yells out.

"No way... That's- That's Hill!"

Tony drops everything in surprise to Barton's loud yelling. Blinking quickly his brain finally catching up he grins wildly at the TV. Dusting himself off he walks over to Barton confidently with an amused half smile.

"What! O, oh, oh so the hardass does know how to have fun! Perfect!" Stark yells out only to clap loudly at the end in childish amusement. Eyes sparkling with clear amusement he crosses his arms over his chest quietly chuckling.

Clint cringes at Stark's yelling being so close. Having his head feel like the Hulk had mistook it for a lemon was already a growing problem. The bright lights emitting from the TV only affecting the radiating pain more.

"Damnit Stark why are you always so loud. My hearing won't get any better doing that."

Stark lets his arms fall to his sides before looking over his shoulder still amused at everything.

"Well, I'm not hungover so that should answer your question. JARVIS, please record every news station that our oh so loveable former Commander is on. I want it for... later." He barks out while looking off in the distance. A smile still present on his blotchy ash dusted face.

"Of course, Sir. I'll start recording immediately but I must inquire as to how are we going to retrieve Ms. Hill?" The TV briefly has a "rec." flash on the right top corner. Jarvis awaits Tony's reply with Pepper's contact at the ready.

Shuffling around Tony hums in disappointment. Clint crosses his arm waiting for the "genius" to spill whatever disastrous plan he has. Walking around a burnt and fire damaged couch Tony smiles once again and exclaims loudly.

"Minor details, JARVIS! Once the tiny spider is up-"

Cations as ever Natasha creeps into the kitchen observing the scorch marks as she makes her way to the two men. Her guess was once herself and Maria went to bed he took the opportunity to tinker with the widow bits. While the group drank themselves into stupors it may have ended in everyone comparing weapons. Natasha had brought them out in protest that everything can be a weapon you just need skill.

"... I told you not to mess with them."

Both men just in surprise. Clint whips around to face Natasha but is met with a glare that could melt steel. Stark carefully walks away slowly fearing the short redhead would show no mercy to him. Clint looks everywhere but at her terrifying gaze.

"Natasha! Uh, good to see that you're up?"

Schooling her facial features she focuses solely at Clint. Her voice low and mono tone.

"Why did you let him mess with the widow bits?"

Cringing in retrospect he steps back before attempting to defend himself. Clint couldn't help but look nervous. He had two lives to save from this fiasco. He can't remember last night and Stark is an idiot with brains.

"Me!? I- What makes you think I-"

"The police still have not found a way to get Maria Hill off the interstate sign. They have just sent two police officers to get her. This is live people- The two officers just got kicked off! I hope they're-" The live footage from Maria's drunken problem had caught Natasha off guard saving Clint from being beaten to death.

Clint slowly turned back to the TV and watched in panic as a still drunk Maria tossed policemen off the sign. Natasha stared on in confusion and worry. She quickly grabbed a slightly melted remote and snarled before smashing down the mute button.

"Why is Maria on the television?"