I'm an incurable romantic and the Valentine's Day probably enhances it - I decided to get Rey and Ben engaged.
He has his mother's engagement ring he retrieved in the previous chapter from Varykino Retreat.
Rey has never been sulking in her whole life – who would she sulk for, given her very crude day to day existence on Jakku? The feeling is new and unnerving, like an involuntary reaction: something akin to hiccups or sneezing. Her hunger helps as a distraction. She skipped the morning rations and now she's devouring the inflatable bread and some dried meat ravenously, hidden in the lower compartment of the „Falcon".
Poe launches them into nearest star system and lets them hover there for awhile, in the open space, far away from any inhabitable colony until he decides whether it's safe to re-join with the Resistance in their shelter on Sullust. It's a welcoming sort of nothingess. Exactly where she is, mentally.
Part of her coming down here lies in the fact she doesn't want to see the TIE silencer again. Not ever again, just not now – she has to stop this current of grudges and petty hurt pouring from her like dry cough.
But it isn't just pety – she showed him her weakness and all of her foolishness. The food makes some effect on her tensed nerves, but it is far from satisfying. Her lips still pulsate with the pressure of that kiss. If only it was true, the vision she had. But she is caught amidst her own turbulent emotions. She is acutely aware the bond with Ben Solo will never be accepted by the Resistance. She doesn't want to insult them or lose their loyalty, but at the same time, she is irresistibly pulled back to him time and time again. The thought of losing him practically made her blind and half-insane. The vision might be as well a mix of truth and self-deception. And finally, Padme and Anakin were a tragic love story. The vision, even if true, could be a foreshadowing of a bitter end. Rey was weary of all the losses.
„Rey", he appears again before her.
„Please, I can't do this right now", she says and waves her hand at him, jumping to her feet. She can't even look him in the eye.
„It is I who should be pleading with you", he says hurriedly, realizing she really wants to leave. He can't talk to her while she's on the upper deck, and he needs to talk to her.
„Please", he squeezes the word again and that word – gods, that word – it freezes her where she is standing.
All the fine education and all the books he read and all the poetry of Omar Berenko can't help him convey what he wants to say right now.
Her eyes are those of hope and of loss. It's maddening. He cannot stand it. He cannot stand the pain he's causing. Funny thing.
He simply comes before her and kisses her, somewhat awkwardly. The more they talk, the more likely they'll just attract the attention of the former Stormtrooper, the wookie, and the general – or the inquisitive little droid that rolls overhead, banging across the metal floor.
I'm so sorry, he whispers to her mind. I didn't want to hurt you. I just wanted to spare you the unnecessary pain.
He caresses her hair through the Force bond – it takes more personal effort to do this than his skills in manipulating the Force.
Why can't you trust me, Ben?, she asks.
I trust you more than I trust myself. I trust you with my own life. Rey.
He swallows hard and it shows, even through the bond.
My love. Sweetheart.
Will he just continue quoting every single generic expression of affection he can remember or start saying something meaningful for a change?, he thinks.
But it has some effect on her. She raises her eyes with surprise and the hurt subsidies under the old compassion. She smiles.
Finally.
He looks over her shoulder and disappears without a word, and Rey knows why.
Poe protrudes his head.
„We're going back to Sullust", he says. „Kay reported something ludicrous. The Nite Owls want to join the Resistance. They want to see the jetii".
He sneers, mocking the crude Mandalorian accent. He was never very fond of that violent, mercenary culture. But beggars can't be choosers.
He will turn into another version of that despicable waste of human life, Kylo Ren.
He can almost hear his father's ice-cold voice mocking him for his many failures. He doesn't have an endless supply of dreadnoughts to support his every campaign and he definitely lost too much of his already reduced senior officers. The young ones he promoted in a rush after battle of Crait (battle, he sneers at the over-statement of that embarassing flop) are zealous, but their performance is cringey underwhelming.
Good the old fool is dead. Not so powerful with poison in his system. The mighty Brendol Hux.
He coddles the ginger cat-like creature before him absent-mindedly and the thing responds with lazy sounds reminiscent of demented purrs. The only thing in existence that received some affection from him, probably because it is barely sentient. No one is a witness to his dwindling humanity.
He is restless and stands abruptly to the window onlooking the landing dock of the „Invictus". The wreakage of the „Nephallactis" afflicted too much unnecessary and expensive damage, much to the delight of the Cantonica elites.
The only thing remotely comforting is that he now knows for sure the traitor has sided with the Resistance. He always knew the man was weak. He didn't understand the whole Force mythology and he had no inclination of doing so – he feared Snoke simply because of the pain he could inflict, and that was all. Kylo Ren – he finds it difficult to pronounce that name even in the confines of his own mind – was a born traitor and a weakling from the beginning. And that makes his failure to kill him even a greater one.
„Grand Marshall", the communicator activates and a young female voice, stern and direct, permeates through it.
„Yes, Stynnix", he tries to sound composed and up-to-date, but fears his voice resembles a roar more than anything, betraying all of his frustration. Kylo Ren sickness, indeed, he thinks.
„An unregistered ship coming from the Unknown Regions requests a permission to dock. They have the late Supreme Leader's credentials, Sir", the officer reports.
Oh, no. He hoped the rest of that scum disappeared from the face of the galaxy a long time ago. The most inopportune of moments for them to come back to life.
But he can't do anything against them. They are, after all, connected to Snoke. Probably felt his demise and now seek revenge, he thinks, trying his best to decipher the inner workings of a Force user's mind. Very good – Hux now sneers at the prospect of dispatching them all on the wild hunt after their former master.
„Let them dock immediately", Hux says. „Summon all the senior officers. Receive the Knights of Ren with highest military honors".
The rebels disembark on underground base on Sullust. The TIE silencer makes a roaring and wailing sound as it lands – it will take a lot of effort to repair the machine, and that technology the Resistance has not. Poe frowns. If Rey asks him to accept Kylo Ren onboard, he'll just... he doesn't know what he'll do, but it won't be pleasant for either of them.
But as they land, another thing attracts Poe's attention – the Mandalorian ships docked chaotically, mostly Aggressor Assault Fighters and Mando-Verpine Assault Fighters. Mostly junk, but if used properly, a good sort of junk. He operated with worse. Only if their pilots were more than just an unruly bunch of mercenary hot-heads. If Rey protests, he'll just show her in the direction of their new allies. After all, the kid likes visiting new places and talking to alien races, and Mandalore has those in abundance.
Finn is already at the door with his backpack on.
„Hold on", Poe says slightly mockingly, and hits the activation button behind him. „Don't make the you shaped hole on the blast door".
He is surrounded with kids. Gods, he needs to be paid for all this baby-sitting. Kay welcomes them on the dock and Poe can't be more pleased to see his first officer. Loyal to him and probably with a slight crush on him, too. But she won't let that stand in the way of their proffesional relationship, unlike the Jedi kid onboard who'd jump at the first opportunity to save Leia's son from whatever mess he gets himself into.
„Kay", he smiles at her and waves with his hand. The young woman smiles back and a tear rolls over her cheek.
„Oh, no, Kay, not you", he says and punches her at the shoulder playfully. „What's another dreadnought in the life of a galaxy?"
„That was a too close call, General", she says, clutching an old and scratched datapad in her arms.
„Tell me about the Mandalorian bunch", he says and nods in the direction of the battered escadrille.
„They came last night, Sir", Kay says. „They explicitly wanted to talk to Rey, and I had some difficulty explaining that I have to be very careful about contacting you, with First Order scanning the region and everything. And another thing, when you talk with them, remember not all of them are good in Galactic Standard. And another thing..."
„What, Kay?"
„Try not to stare at their leader too much, General", Kay adds ambiguously, a small smirk forming on her face.
„What, is he that ugly?", he says and laughs, hugging his friend and officer.
„Not exactly", she answers, her smirk now wider. „He is a she and... well, regarding the beauty, you'll see. Just don't stare".
Poe stares at the almost 2 meters tall female humanoid covered in colorfull Mandalorian armor, battered and patched much more times than any other metal could be (it's beskar). Tribal braids, ridiculously strong arms that show through her arm plates and an elongated pale face, color of a desert sand with eyes that have almost no eye-white. Tribal tattoos on her face and neck and probably other unseen places too. Not unpleasantly looking, only extremely exotic.
„Satine Trosyc", she says in a rather good Galactic Standard and shakes his hand. He fears some ligaments might be broken.
„Poe Dameron", he almost squeaks. „I gather you went a long way from Mandalore to Sullust, Alor".
He'll need some ice and bacta bandage on his hand after this grip.
„The Jedi?", she asks directly and abruptly, with eyes darting behind them and seeking Rey.
„Right behind me", he says, in a way relieved that Satine doesn't care about the ceremonials much. Good, so doesn't he as well.
„Good", Satine retorts and sits back. „We've heard about the marriage of the Light and Dark from our temple. The time is right for the uprising that will sweep away the imperial bastards of the First Order once and for all".
Her Galactic Standard can't be that good. What marriage?, he thinks, frustrated. Although his parents, especially his mother Shara, had a lot of interactions with the old Jedi Skywalker, he can't call himself a great Jedi believer. More of a Jedi agnostic, if there's such a thing.
„If you think about the late General's son, Ben, then yes, he's with us", he replies cautiously. „Although I wouldn't call the affiliation marriage, Alor".
„Satine", she flicks her wrist at him, something downright royal about it. „I like the name much better".
Is she flirting with him or are both they just lost in translation?
„Satine", he complies. „And there is the Jedi".
He almost feels relieved for being able to transfer her attention to Rey.
The air around her is changed. It's probably the saber, but Poe wrinkles his nose as he puts the hot tea up to his lips. Good girl, Kay, for brinking the beverage to him. As Satine and Rey greet each other rather cheerfully (as he anticipated, the girl is entranced with Satine), his eyes fix on the piece of jewelry on the ring finger of her left hand.
He almost spits the tea across the confined space of their base.