disclaimer: i do not own Inuyasha

Chapter 2: My best friend thinks i'm going to die alone

I spent a full hour at Beantown with Bank - yes, I got up an hour earlier than I needed to just to talk to a guy with zero interest in me, but you know, crazy shit and all - before the I finally had to go to work because things like rent and bills exist. I said bye to Bank with a promise to see him tomorrow before walking the two minutes to the other side of strip mall where Forget Me Not was located.

My foot was barely through the door, but Kagome was waiting for me, her smile suspiciously wide. "Sango!"

"Kagome!" I shouted back with mock enthusiasm as I shut the door behind me and locked it. Forget Me Not was the letter writing business Kagome and I started where, for the most part, we sell handmade cards (Kagome was the artist and I was the writer), but for those less gifted with words we also wrote letters for people. I thought it would be just a fun addition to our business model, but sometimes it felt like we were unlicensed therapists in charge of relaying people's complex feelings to their significant others and that got exhausting. We didn't open until 10, but there were always someone who tried to get in early and burden me with their personal problems earlier than they needed to. "What do you want?"

"What are you talking about?" Kagome smiled innocently from behind her desk folding a paper crane. She was taking a new approach to 'Get Well Soon' cards.

"When have you ever been this excited to see me without wanting to tell me something I probably won't like?"

"Sango," Kagome gaped at me. "You're my best friend. I love seeing you."

I fell into my desk across the room from Kagome's and gave her a leveled look. "Spill it."

"Fine," Kagome sighed, giving in. "Just promise you won't shoot me down before I finish telling you everything."

My entire face fell. "Not another blind date."

"Just hear me out."

I personally was content with my love life the way it was. I was 26, I've never dated, and I was in love with a man who had no interest in women—I accepted that. The only motivation I had to get a boyfriend sooner rather than later was the hope that Kagome would stop setting me up with random losers in her attempt to save me from a lonely life with only my fifty cats to comfort me. Kagome always worried about my nonexistent romantic life, but it's been even worse since she married Inuyasha. She was afraid her dream of raising our children together was about to be compromised.

"Kagome, no," I refused. "Not again."

"Oh, come on," She begged. "I admit, the last date I sent you on wasn't the best, but this time I've got a really good guy for you."

"You said that last time."

"But now I'm not lying!" I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "He's Inuyasha's friend."

"Just because Inuyasha's a great guy it doesn't mean his friends are great by association."

"But this guy is kind and funny. Everyone think he's charming."

"What's his name?"

Kagome hesitated, but only for a second. "Miroku…"

"Miroku?" I shot up in my seat and Kagome nodded slowly, trying to disappear into the cushions of her chair. "As in the best man Miroku?"

"That would be Inuyasha's friend." I glared at her. "Come on, he's a good guy."

"A good guy?" I looked at her like she was crazy. "He hit on every girl with a pulse and then slept with all the bridesmaids except me. He's a dog, Kagome."

"Ewww." Kagome wrinkled her nose in disgust. "He slept with Kikyo?"

"And he asked me to bear his children. Twice."

"He was drunk?"

"No. He was completely sober. And I know he was sober because he told me and I quote, 'you're the only girl here I'd fuck while I'm this sober. You're so gorgeous I wouldn't want to forget a second of our love making.' End quote!"

"You remembered all that word for word?"

"It was the most offensive thing I've ever heard in my life!" I shook my head as I turned my computer on. "I'm not meeting him. I would die the happiest person on earth if I never had to see that man again."

"Well, at least you know he likes you." I rolled my eyes. "Come on, Sango. He's not that bad."

"He's a pervert."

"He's changed."

"In six months? Really?"

"Just give him a chance."

I sighed heavily, massaging my temples. "Why is it so hard for you to understand I don't want to waste valuable time getting to know a guy who would cheat on me?"

"He's not like that!" Kagome insisted. "Anymore…"

"Wow."

"Please Sango?" Kagome was begging now. "He was so excited when Inuyasha told him about your date."

"So you've already set the date up before I agreed?" Kagome gave me a sheepish grin. "Is there even a point in having this conversation?"

"He likes you."

"He's attracted to me," I corrected her. "There's a huge difference."

"Try to see things from my point of view."

I rolled my eyes and buried my face in my hands. "Not this again."

"I'm genuinely worried about you, Sango. You've never been in a relationship your entire life and you don't even seem to care! And it's not because you're unattractive or have a terrible personality, you intentionally scare every guy who's interested in you away." Kagome stared at me trying to convey the gravity of my situation and I turned away from her, typing in my password and logging in to my computer. "The fact that you're so afraid of falling in love because you don't want to risk getting hurt is terrible!"

"I'm not afraid," I muttered under my breath, still avoiding eye contact. "I'm just not interested."

"But you don't even try to be interested. And I'm afraid you're going to turn around a few years from now, realize you want to get married, and see that you've scared off every good man out there. It's tragic!"

"There are 7 billion people in the world, Kags," I said, glancing at her from around my monitor. "I'm sure I'll find someone willing to put up with me. Also my quality of life doesn't have to revolve around whether or not I'm going to get married. Like seriously Kagome, this is Feminism 101. And the way marriage is shoved down our throats is just a capitalist marketing tactic to inspire consumerism and control- "

"Ooooookay," Kagome cut me off, raising her hands to stop me and then and slowly lowering them back to her desk with a long exhale. "Let's step down from the soap box for a second and relax."

"I'm just saying."

"You're right. I'm sorry. Just because I value marriage doesn't mean you have to too."

"Thank you."

"However," Kagome continued and I groaned slamming my head into my desk and fisting my hair. There was never any winning with Kagome when she wanted to coerce me into a blind date. "Marriage and traditional notions of commitment aside, have you ever even really liked anyone?" Kagome asked, sounding truly concerned. "Not to get all motherly on you, but I get this feeling that your complete unwillingness to risk being in a relationship is really pointing to an underlying problem of extreme fear of emotional intimacy." She crossed her arms over her chest and tilted her head to the side. "Do you want to unpack that?"

Fuck Kagome and the three psychology courses she took in college.

"You know," I started, finally lifting my head up from my desk, "I think I'll pass on that one."

I could tell Kagome about how I didn't have a heart of stone and that I was in love with Bankotsu, but that would be like opening a whole other can of worms. Kagome might really have me psychoanalyzed if I admitted the first man I managed to fall for was six feet, gorgeous, and gay.

"I just don't want you to be alone."

"You mean you're going to abandon me later on in life?" I gasped and feigned shock. "But I thought we were best friends."

"You know what I mean. I just—"

There was a knock on the door and Ayame, a regular client of ours, waved through the glass.

"It's freezing and 10:01!" she shouted, pointing to her wrist watch. "Time for you to open up."

"I don't get how you can write amazing love letters for other people, but be so closed off to finding your own love," Kagome mumbled as she got up to open the door for Ayame.

"I don't just write love letters," I reminded her. "We write for all occasions, remember?" (Although, to be fair, people seem to need the most help articulating the right words to the people they share romantic relationships and that does take up most of my day).

"It still doesn't explain why you're emotionally constipated."

I just sighed and opened up my email. There was no getting through to Kagome sometimes.

"Hey guys," Ayame smiled as she walked in, pulling her hat off her head. "How's it going?"

"Fine."

"Sango refuses to find happiness for herself," Kagome stated, contradicting my neutral response.

"One, romantic love isn't the pinnacle of all happiness," I defended myself. "And two, you set me up with Miroku!"

"You need to take a chance," Kagome persisted. "It would be a step in opening you up to finding someone you really like."

"Ooooh," Ayame grinned as she hung her coat on the back of the chair on the other side of my desk and slid into her seat. "Are we playing matchmaker for Sango? Because I want in."

"Ayame," I snapped. "Don't encourage her."

"You think it's terrible for her to be alone too, right?" Ayame nodded and Kagome gave me an I-told-you-so look. "I mean, it's one thing to suffer from a broken heart but—"

"But dying of a lonely heart, one that has never felt love, is much much worse," Ayame finished for her.

I stared at Ayame. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"I don't want you to be a lonely cat lady either," she confessed.

"Stop hating on cat ladies!" I shouted at them and they both bit back their laughter. "Cats are amazing, okay?"

"But you can't have sex with your cats, Sango." Ayame pointed out and Kagome nodded enthusiastically, crossing the room to stand next to Ayame, solidifying their new found alliance. "You just can't."

"We have vibrators for a reason."

Ayame arched a brow at me. "You're really trying to tell me you're going to be content with just your cats and a vibrating piece of plastic 30 years from now? Really?"

. . .

Okay yeah, taking my libido into consideration, I could hear how weak my own argument was.

"I thought this date was about being open to relationships, not my future sex life," I grumbled, still not wanting to lose in making my point. "I can still have sex with people without being in a relationship."

"But you also can't have conversations with cats or a vibrator," Ayame added and I glared at her. "I mean, speaking from a pro-blind date perspective, you may want to consider your options for human companionship before limiting yourself to that kind of adult solitude."

"Right," Kagome was quick to chime in. "This is really just about you being open to new experiences and embracing life instead of cocooning yourself because you're afraid of being vulnerable. It's about learning to give people a chance."

I winced as Kagome hit the nail on the head again. "But it's Miroku."

"Okay yes, but to be fair, for all his playboying ways, have you ever heard any complaints?" I gaped at Kagome and she shrugged "I'm just saying it can't hurt."

"Yeah," Ayame grinned. "If you don't want a relationship, cool, but aren't you curious about what all the hype is about?"

"I hate you both."

"So is that a yes?" Kagome asked and I just closed my eyes and massaged my temples. Why was she always pushing me into these situations? "Come on, it'll be fun! This could be a chance for you to bond more with Miroku even as just a friend which would be great because he is Inuyasha's best friend and it would be easier for the four of us to hang out at once instead of hanging out with each of you separately. And this could be a stepping stone in your own growth in practicing how to give people a chance before writing them off. I'm telling you, Sango, I really think there are some underlying issues with your need to control your emotions that we should really talk through one of these days. Like when did this start, what's the root of it? There's just so much to-"

"Okay, okay! Fine." There was a reason I always ended up on the dates Kagome set me up on: she. never. shut. up. Eventually you just get tired of her talking. "I'll go out with Miroku."

"Yes!" Kagome cheered and she and Ayame both squealed and broke out into mini victory dances. "Oh, this is great! I would have felt so bad if I had to cancel on him. Like I said, he was really happy about the news."

"Yeah, whatever," I grumbled as Kagome skipped back to her desk across the room. "Just give me his number."

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