disclaimer: i do not own Inuyasha
Chapter 3: I have a date with a fuck boy
Drop top Porsche (Porsche), Rollie' on my wrist (wrist)
Diamonds up and down my chain (aha)
Cardi B, straight stuntin', can't tell me nothin'...
I didn't like clubs. In fact, to be specific, I hated clubs. The music was always too loud, it was impossible to dance without a stranger trying to grind on you, and creepy, married middle-aged men always tried to hit on you at the bar. It was impossible to get to know somebody amidst all the noise making it a horrible spot for a first date.
Which is why it was the perfect place to meet Miroku.
If I gave a rat's ass about Miroku in the slightest bit I would have really judged him for suggesting a club to be our meeting spot when I called him Wednesday night, but I didn't care about Miroku. I was thrilled about the night club because it meant I wouldn't have to learn about Miroku on a personal level, saving me from disliking him more than I already did.
"Sango?" I looked over my shoulder and saw Miroku approaching with the same too laid-back smile he always wore on the few times I've seen him.
"Hi, Miroku."
"Sango!" He smiled wider as he slid onto the stool next to me, just staring at me like an idiot. "Wow."
"Wow, what?"
"Wow, you're still as hot as you were at the wedding!" I rolled my eyes. "In fact, I think you got hotter. I can't see your ass, but I'm sure—"
"Please stop," I cut him off. "Please don't let the first few sentences out of your mouth be about my ass."
Miroku kept grinning. "You look good."
"Thanks," I grumbled begrudgingly. "You look nice too."
"You mean I look sexy."
"You look nice."
"Come on." Miroku wiggled his brows in that stupidly suggestive way he always did. "It's okay to admit you're attracted to me. Just say it: You're sexy, Miroku." He smiled at me. "It's that easy!"
"Excuse me!" I shouted to the bartender, waving my hand in the air until I got his attention. "Can I get a refill on this?" I asked, pointing to the shot glass I had downed before Miroku got here in attempt to settle my preexisting annoyances with him (clearly, one shot wasn't enough). "Like, now."
"Make it two!" Miroku shouted, smiling at the bartender who just waved his hand over his shoulder as he went about making our drinks. Miroku then turned to me, leaning against the bar with his stupid grin. "I too believe everything is better when you're drunk."
"I'm not getting drunk with you."
"Right. You're the only girl I'd fuck sober." Miroku winked at me and smiled and I almost gagged. "You're too gorgeous to risk forgetting."
"Is that line supposed to work?" I snapped disgusted as the bartender set our shot glasses in front of us. "Because it didn't work last time you tried it on me."
"Some girls fall for it," Miroku shrugged, reaching for his glass. "Should I try it on someone else?" He scanned the sea of girls at the bar and jumping around on the dance floor. "Ooh!" He shouted pointing to a tall girl who was stick thin with long hair dyed platinum blonde. "Her. She's pretty hot, right?" Miroku smiled at me and I gaped at him. "You think she'll fall for it?"
Picking up other girls on our supposed blind date? Yeah, Kagome, Miroku really changed. I downed my shot and motioned to the bartender to keep them coming. There was no way I was getting through this date without a few more drinks in my system.
Six shots (each) later…
"Shit," I slurred, laughing as Miroku stumbled his way back to the bar, nursing the cheek the woman he tried picking up had slapped. "She slapped the shit out of you."
"I know," he mumbled, climbing back on the stool next to mine.
"Which line did you use?"
"Two. First, I'm feeling off right now would you like to turn me on." I was cracking up in his face and he just motioned the bartender back over towards us ordering two mojitos. "And then you're too gorgeous to fuck drunk."
"But you are drunk."
He seemed to be thinking it over for a few seconds. "Oh."
"If I had a dime for every time I saw a girl as beautiful as you I'd have exactly ten cents." I nodded to myself in satisfaction as the bartender pushed our drinks towards us. "You should use that on the next girl."
Miroku's nose wrinkled. "That's so cheesy."
"Yeah, but in a cute way," I assured him. "They might think you're all innocent and sweet and give you a chance."
"Should we do a blonde or brunette?"
I scanned the crowd for our next target and grinned. "Red head." I giggled at Miroku's reluctant face. "Why did you even come on this date when you were jus gonna pick up girls?"
"To get Inuyasha off my case." He took a large gulp of his drink while I sipped mine "He's afraid I'm going to get AIDS or chlamydia." Miroku's eyes were wide. "I heard that's like fire shooting out your dick when you piss."
"No," I gaped and Miroku nodded somberly. "Wow…"
"Why are you here when you keep telling me to pick up girls?"
"To get Kagome off my back." I stopped sipping my drink and tossed it back, downing it all in one shot. I felt so light and bubbly… "She thinks I'm gonna die alone cause I've never had a boyfriend."
"What!" Miroku stared at me wide eyed, rocking back and forth on his seat. "But you're sexy!"
"I'm picky. And I'm in love with the owner of a coffee shop."
"So date him."
"He's gay."
"Whaaaaat?"
Three mixed drinks later…
"You—you know what we should do?"
"What?"
"We should, we should…" Miroku trailed off and blinked hard a few times before he finally hiccupped and burped. "That's better."
"Whaaat," I whined, hitting his shoulder. "What should we do?"
"We should pretend to date." I stared at Miroku's sloppy smile for a few seconds, dumbfounded, before I busted into laughter. "I'm serious."
"Me? And you? Together?" I laughed like the obnoxious lush I was at that moment, teetering dangerously on my stool. "Why?"
"Because I'm tired of blind dates." Miroku rested his head on the bar and smiled up at me. "I want… I want to— to sleep around without Inuyasha judging me."
"So you want to use me?"
"You too use me!" He shouted back, his words getting jumbled in his mouth, but he didn't bother correcting himself. "Date me, no more nagging Kagome."
"True…"
"See? Great plan!"
"Yeah!"
"Yeah!" Miroku looked up me as seriously as he could, actually suppressing his trademark grin. "I'm serious."
"Yeah, okay," I nodded. "I'm drunk."
"Me too!"
One expensive bill later…
"So this is real?" Miroku asked me for the millionth time as we stumbled out of the club, barely able to hold each other up. "Like, really really really real?"
"Yeah, yeah," I agreed absentmindedly as I stood on the curb, waving for a taxi while Miroku held my other arm to keep me from falling into the street and getting run over by a truck. "Sure."
"So you're my girlfriend?"
"If I remember anything…" A taxi finally pulled up to the curb and I was relieved. I was really tired now. And hungry. I hoped I still had that leftover pizza from two nights ago in my fridge.
"I'll remind you."
"Yeah, okay." I reached the taxi door, but missed the handle three times before Miroku finally opened it for me. "Thanks. If you don't remember we're fucked," I slurred as I climbed in, "because I won't remind you if I remember."
"I'll remember," he promised and for the first time since our fourth shot glass his smile didn't seem so sloppy when he grinned at me. "You're too gorgeous to risk forgetting."
-x-
When I woke up the next morning I had a hangover that made me want to crawl into an early grave just to put an end to my splitting headache and the bing of my text tone going off in an obnoxious string of repetition.
"This asshole…" I growled under my breath, reaching to grab my phone of my nightstand. I'm going to kill the idiot who—
I froze when I read Miroku's name on my screen and the ten messages he sent me.
I
Remember
EVERYTHING!
YOU AND I ARE NOW DATING!
Feel free to consider yourself the luckiest woman on earth.
P.S – don't think you're getting out of this either.
I'm pretty sure we shook on this.
I look forward to our first official date ;)
;) ;) ;)
You know you're happy about this too
.
.
.
What the hell did I do last night?