Work, work, work… That's what Inga's life had become. While he was sitting at his desk in his private quarters, working like a dog while slaving away at endless execution papers, his cold, uncaring harlot of a wife was busy sitting on her fancy throne getting shoulder rubs as she plotted more ways to torture his life.
What did I do to deserve this!? Inga internally yelled with each slam of his stamp, his brow hard and furrowed. Sure, to look at the Minister of Justice now one would say that he was getting his just desserts for his cold, uncaring, arrogant attitude and ruthless use of the secret police; but he wasn't always like this. Before he met Ga'ran, Inga was actually a decent person- he had friends, hobbies, the will to live- for the Holy Mother's sake, he was actually a skilled soccer player back in high-school, scoring five goals in a single game.
But after his 'happy' wedding to Ga'ran, everything that Inga loved was taken away from him in a snap- not figuratively, literally. Right after the reception, Ga'ran snapped her fingers and used her authority as the then-Minister of Justice to have the secret police destroy everything that Inga loved: smashed every personal possession he owned, deflated every soccer ball in the kingdom, and had his parents and other relatives executed for les-majesty; leaving Inga to live a sad, empty life as Ga'ran's puppet Minister of Justice and, worst of all, her… boy toy.
At the moment, there were only two things keeping Inga from downing a bottle of bleach and putting himself out of his misery: the love that he felt for his five-year-old daughter, Rayfa- whose sweet smile would cast a shimmer of light down upon his dreary life- and the prospect of usurping Ga'ran using the very position that she foolishly gave him and claiming the kingdom for Rayfa and himself.
Inga briefly stopped his work to glance out the nearby window and let out woeful sigh. Well, at least it was a nice day… the sun was out, birds were chirping, flowers were-
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH! FATHER! HELP!" Rayfa shrieked from the courtyard outside his personal quarters, snapping Inga out of his thoughts and causing him to jump to his feet.
"Don't worry, Rayfa! Daddy's coming!" Inga proclaimed as he picked up his cigar-stamp and rushed out of his private chambers; though he wasn't able to get far out the door before little Rayfa ran behind her father for protection, clinging to his leg with a whimper as her body trembled.
Inga, putting a comforting arm on Rayfa's back, looked down at his daughter.
"What's the matter, Rayfa?"
"Oh, Father!" Rayfa wailed, tears streaming down her cheeks. "You have to protect me from it! Otherwise it'll eat me whole!"
"It'? What's 'it'?'" Inga asked with a look of confusion.
"A big ol' mean, scary monster with cold, evil eyes and unnerving groans that hates happiness! You have to stop it, Father! You're the only one big and strong enough to do it!" Rayfa pleaded, her fingers digging into Inga's leg.
Oh no! Did Ga'ran watch 'Moulin Rouge' again? I thought I hid the dvd after her last rampage! "Eh… Alright Rayfa, so where is this monster that I need to show whose boss?" Inga smugly asked.
"O-Over there…!" Rayfa whimpered, pointed a trembling finger behind her.
Inga looked over in the area that Rayfa was pointing to, but found nothing, much to his confusion.
Inga scratched his head. "… Am I missing something, Rayfa? 'Cause there's nothing there."
"Down there!" Rayfa pointed her finger her finger slightly lower.
The Minister of Justice looked down, and to his surprise and relief, saw a large frog standing a few inches from him and Rayfa.
"That's the monster?" Inga pointed down at the frog, which Rayfa confirmed with a nod.
"Yes, Father! Now kill it. Kill it good!" The little princess commanded her father, pushing him towards her amphibian enemy.
"Calm down, Rayfa. It's only a frog. It's not gonna kill you."
Upon hearing this, Rayfa's face reddened as she clenched her little fists. "He will so, Father! Look at it. Look at it! It has the eyes of the Devil!" Rayfa proclaimed, pointing an angry finger at the frog, which only responded with a croak.
Inga briefly looked down at the frog before returning his gaze to his distraught little girl. "While its eyes do resemble your mom's, it's not gonna try and hurt you. If anything, he just wants to be your friend."
Inga carefully picked up the frog. "Why don't you try holding him?" The Minister of Justice extended his hands out to Rayfa, who's only response was to quickly take a step back.
"Please, Rayfa, I promise he won't bite." Inga tried to plead with his daughter.
Rayfa crossed her arms and looked off to the side. "No. I don't wanna and you can't make me!"
"C'mon, Rayfa, can't you do this on little thing for your dear, old dad who loves you so, so much?" Inga asked, flashing his daughter a sad puppy dog face, complete with quivering lower lip- a skill, which, much like singing the blues, requires years of pain and trauma to master.
Seeing her father's sad act, Rayfa lowered her guard and hesitantly walked over to him.
"Fine…" Rayfa groaned. "I'll hold him."
Rayfa reluctantly held out and cupped her hands, allowing Inga to slowly place the frog in his daughter's palms.
For what felt like hours, but was actually about ten seconds, both Rayfa and the frog remained motionless and silent, transfixed in each other's gaze.
Worried about his daughter, Inga lightly tapped Rayfa on her shoulder. "Rayfa? You okay?"
"… You know, Father, he's not that bad…" Rayfa replied, still occupied with staring at the creature.
"Well, that's good to hear, Rayfa."
"In fact, he's kinda cute…" Rayfa glanced up at her father. "Can I keep him? Pleeeease?"
Inga patted Rayfa's hair and flashed her a grin. "Why not? Everyone needs a pet sooner or later! So, what are you gonna name him?"
Rayfa cocked her head. "I don't know… Perhaps I should ask him." The little girl grinned at her new frog friend. "So, what's your name, Mr. Frog?"
After a few seconds of waiting, the frog responded with only a single croak.
"Croakie it is!" Rayfa chirped as she gently hugged the frog. "And we're gonna be the best friends ever! We'll go on walks, and pick flowers, and look at clouds, and go kick those Defiant Dragons' butts for giving Father so much grief!"
Seeing his daughter so happy with her new pet, Inga couldn't help but chuckle.
"I don't know, Rayfa. Those Defiant Dragons are awfully defiant…" Inga, being a good sport and playing along with his daughter, said as he clenched his cigar stamp between his teeth and leaned forward.
"But with Croakie at my side, anything's possible! C'mon, Croakie! I'm gonna show you around the rest of the palace! Rayfa excitedly stated as she ran off with her new pet, leaving Inga alone.
"It does my heart good to see that girl happy. Now back to my life being unhappy…" Inga sullenly said as he slowly returned to his private quarters.
Later, in her audience chamber, Ga'ran sat on her throne, her cheek resting on her fist as she looked across the room with a smug grin.
"Lah'kee, Lah'kee, by the throne, who's the loveliest royal ever to be known?" The queen playfully asked.
Lah'kee's posture stiffened as he raised his sword. "Your Emineeeence, Your Emineeeence, it's clearly yooou! I don't know who else would dooo!"
Ga'ran brushed her fingers through her hair. "Good. Now back to the topic at hand: how to further ruin Inga's life. Lah'kee, do you have any suggestions?"
"Your Emineeeence, what if you have his boxers washed in lots of starch!? That way, he feels itchy and uncomfortable all day! It's the pain that keeps on being painful!"
"No. That would only serve to give our foolish husband a greater pain tolerance and would make our nights of pleasure less fun for us." Ga'ran cocked her head and rhythmically curled her fingers in contemplation. "…Perhaps something involving a hammer. We feel-"
Suddenly, Ga'ran's plotting was interrupted by the sound of Rayfa squealing outside of the audience chamber.
A scowl spread across Ga'ran's face as she let out a low growl. "How dare that insolent child interrupt our planning…!? Lah'kee! Go investigate the cause of Rayfa's disruptive behavior, posthaste!"
Lah'kee raised his sword. "Yes, Your Emineeeence!" The guard yelled before rushing out of the room.
When Lah'kee reached Rayfa, the young girl was busy showing Croakie one of the palace's many corridors.
"… And over here's another potted plant, and on the wall are several more pictures of Mother, and-"
"Yooour Benevoleeeence!" Lah'kee shouted, alerting the young girl to his presence.
"Hello, Lah'kee!" Rayfa chirped. "What brings you here? Shouldn't you be near Mother in case she needs a shoulder rub?"
"Your Benevoleeeence, I am here at the request of Her Eminence herself! She wants to know why you are making noises out here and disruptiiing her political dutiiiies!"
"I'm sorry, Lah'kee, I didn't mean to be disruptive. I was just showing Croakie here around the palace."
"'Croakiiie'?! Who is this Croakiiiie of whom you speak of!?" Lah'kee bellowed at the top of his lungs as his eyes frantically darted around the room in his search of Rayfa's friend.
"He's my new pet frog who I just found today, see?" Rayfa extended her palms, and by extension Croakie, towards the loudmouthed royal guard member. "Croakie, this is Lah'kee, Mother's shoulder rubber."
"Hellooo Croakiiie!" Lah'kee bellowed, to which Croakie responded to with a single croak.
"So Lah'kee, do you wish to join me in giving Croakie a tour of the rest of the palace?" Rayfa cheerfully asked.
"Negative, Your Benevolence! I have to return to Her Eminence with this new information! All praise the omnipotent Queen Ga'raaan!" Lah'kee yelled as he ran back in the direction of the audience chamber.
After a few seconds of silence to compose herself after Lah'kee's noisy exit, Rayfa continued Croakie's tour by approaching and holding the frog in front of a large painting.
"And this is a portrait of Mother in her prosecutor garbs riding Father like a horse. Though why Father is wearing no shirt, tight black pants, and has a small red ball in his mouth has always been a mystery to me; but whenever I ask Mother, she says that I'm too young, and when I ask Father, he gets all red in the face and quickly leaves the area…" Rayfa cocked her head to think about the strangeness of the portrait. "Do you have any idea about what Father's outfit in this portrait means, Croakie?"
The frog responded with a single croak.
"So you don't know either…?" Rayfa shrugged her shoulders. "Oh well…"
Rayfa continued on with the tour.
"And over there's yet another potted plant…"
Back in the audience chamber, Ga'ran was discussing her plans to increase Inga's overall misery with a royal guard.
"… And so, after much thinking, We have come to the conclusion that our best course of action would be to have that gaudy gold statue of himself that Inga keeps in his private quarters destroyed with a sledgehammer. Then, We will commission an even larger statue of ourself in-"
"Yooour Emineeeence!" Lah'kee bellowed, running up to his queen at full speed.
"it's place…" Ga'ran groaned, irritated at having been interrupted twice in the span of ten minutes. "Do you have a report for us on our daughter's recent behavior, Lah'kee?"
Lah'kee raised his sword. "Yes, Yooour Eminence! Her Benevolence has been giving Croakie a tour of the palace!"
"We are not familiar with this 'Croakie' of whom you speak of. Please specify."
"Yes, Your Emineeeence!" The Lah'kee bellowed. "Croakie is Her Benevolence's new pet frog! She- Aaaargh!" The royal shoulder rubber screamed as Ga'ran scratched her long fingernails against the arm of her gold throne, creating a loud, screeching sound which caused all the royal guards present to cover their ears.
When Ga'ran ceased her auditory assault, she glared daggers at her royal guards, her nostrils flaring as her left eye started to twitch.
"This… is… UNACCEPTABLE! Who would do such a thing behind our… INGA!" Ga'ran snarled as she slammed her right fist on the respective arm of her throne, causing it to slightly dent. "Only that pitiful, sniveling, plantain-endowed fool of a man would oppose us so! We'll deal with him later, but for now we have bigger frogs to fry!"
"Your Emineeeence! Why is it so bad if Her Benevolence owns a pet?!" Lah'kee loudly asked.
"Look, Lah'kee…" Ga'ran leaned forward while glaring at the shoulder rubber. "Pets provide companionship. Companionship leads to self-esteem, self-esteem leads to confidence, and confidence leads to happiness- something that We shan't allow Rayfa to experience while the Holy Mother's holy blood courses through our veins! You two…!" The spider queen pointed at two royal guards at the foot of her throne- one who was slightly taller and more than the others and one that was slightly shorter, stouter and resembled a potato. "Under the cover of night, find Rayfa's precious pet frog and dispose of it without alerting her. We wouldn't want her to be uncomplacent with us for a week over the life of a foolish frog."
"Yes, Your Eminence!" The guards said in unison as they raised their swords. "Ur dihara Ga'ran!"
At around midnight, after splitting up and searching the Royal Residence, the two guards regrouped in front of Rayfa's private quarters.
"You find it, Floon'kee?" The shorter guard asked.
"Negative. And were you successful, Scuul'eon?" The taller guard responded.
"Nope. Notta trace of that damn frog anywhere out here!" Scuul'eon crossed his arms and grunted. "I told ya it ain't a good idea to show up at the audience chamber line-up, but did ya listen to ya ol' friend Scuul'eon? Noooo..! It's referred to as 'optional' for a reason, dummy!"
"Not this again…" Floon'kee groaned, shaking his head. "How many times do I have to tell you this? If we don't go to the audience chamber line-up, Her Eminence won't even notice us when there's a promotion on the table."
"Oh, we's was noticed alright…" Scuul'eon growled. "What in Her Holiness' name possessed Her Eminence to pick the royal potata peeler and the mook with some girly job for old ladies?"
Floon'kee flashed his friend a scowl. "And just how exactly is my job as the royal schedule manager a girly one? I manage all of Ga'ran's appointments and activities- a duty which is most vital in maintaining political order and stability in our fine kingdom." The taller guard placed a thick hand on his chest as a smug grin spread across his face. "Why, if it weren't for me, Her Eminence could very well be mistakenly molesting Minister Inga at nine p.m. this coming Thursday instead of ten!"
Scuul'eon dismissingly waved his hand at his proud friend. "Yeah, yeah, yeah… Keep tellin' yourself that while doin' a job that was previously Nayna's."
Floon'kee rolled his eyes. "Coming from the guy who can't even say the name of the food he handles correctly."
"An' just what's wrong with how I say potata?" Scuul'eon huffed.
"Just that it's pronounce po-tah-toe."
"Says who?"
"Says everyone else in the world." Floon'kee retorted.
"You say potato, I say potata." Scuul'eon nonchalantly responded.
"Except that it's potato."
"Potata!" Scuul'eon huffed, glaring up at his taller friend.
"Potato!" Floon'kee glared down at his shorter pal.
"Potata!"
"Potato!"
"Potata!"
"Potato!"
"Potata!"
"Potato!"
"Potata!"
"Potata!" Floon'kee said with a sly smile on his face.
"Potato!"
"Potata!"
"Potato!"
"Potata!"
"Potato! And that's final! End of discussion!" Scuul'eon fumed.
"Glad you finally see it my way, Scuul'eon." Floon'kee sneered.
"Shaddup!" Scuul'eon growled. "We gotta frog to off an' Her Benevolence's private quarters are the last place we ain't checked." The stout guard picked the lock to Rayfa's door and quietly opened it. "We gotta be stealthy-like, so keep ya big mouth shut. Got it?" Scuul'eon whispered, to which Floon'kee nodded before the duo entered the house.
After searching most of the house, the duo made their way to the last room: Rayfa's bedroom; where, upon opening the door, they saw the little princess in a deep sleep, and on the dresser across from her bed, they saw their target sleeping in a glass tank.
"Like catchin' fish in a barrel…" Scuul'eon noted as he rubbed his hands together. "Alright, let's get in there, get that frog, an' get outta there nice an' quick. We do that, and we's in the clear."
"Right." Floon'kee responded with a nod of his head as the duo tiptoed into Rayfa's room and went over to Croakie's tank.
"So, how are we going to do this?" Floon'kee whispered, earning him a slap on the stomach from Scuul'eon.
"Whaddya mean 'how are we gonna do it'? Ya reach into the tank and grab the frog. It ain't spirit channelin'.
"Oh, because I thought that we were going to take the tank with us and I was kind of worried. Sure, I've been watching those meditation tapes that Abbot Inmee has been releasing, but my core isn't strong enough yet to lift a tank of that size."
Scuul'eon slapped his forehead and groaned. "I'm gonna pray for ya later… Now grab that frog!"
Floon'kee slowly reached into the tank and pulled out Croakie; but as soon as the frog was eyelevel with Floon'kee, it slipped out of his hands and jumped into his shirt, causing the royal guard to flail his arm as Croakie, in the form of a bulge, frantically moved on Floon'kee's torso looking for an escape.
Scuul'eon grabbed the sided of his head. "Whaddya doin', ya goober!? Your gonna wake up the princess!" The stout guard quietly snarled.
"It's not my fault, Scuul'eon! It slipped out of hands. Help!" Floon'kee quietly panicked.
"Don't worry; I got ya back…" Scuul'eon picked up a tennis racket off of the floor and proceeded to repeatedly whack Floon'kee in the torso with it, managing to miss Croakie with every swing.
"Stand still, ya putz! I can't get it if ya keep movin' like that!" Scuul'eon quietly growled.
"Well, in case you haven't noticed, there's a frog doing the Hokey Pokey in my shirt. So excuse me if I'm not very statuesque!"
Suddenly, Croakie jumped out of Floon'kee's sleeve and onto Scuul'eon's face, causing the pudgy guard to start panicking and flailing his arms as the frog clung to his face like gum on the bottom of a shoe.
"Aaah! Get it off! Get it off!" Scuul'eon demanded as he ran around the room like a headless chicken.
Without hesitation, Floon'kee thought of and executed a solution in the form of grabbing various stuffed animals near Rayfa's bed- including, but not limited to, a yellow frog, a red crocodile, and a green beaver- which had no effect other than making Scuul'eon angrier.
"Quit messin' around and get this stinkin' frog offa me, ya buffoon!" Scuul'eon snapped.
Floon'kee quickly opened up Rayfa's closet, and upon checking its contents, quickly pulled out a large plastic case that's used to hold comforters while unknowingly causing a roller-skate to fall out onto the floor next to him.
Floon'kee then threw the plastic case over Scuul'eon's torso and lifted his friend over his shoulder as the other man's stubby legs flailed about.
"I did it, Scuul'eon! I got it!" Floon'kee boasted.
"Yeah, but ya also got me! Let me outta here!" Scuul'eon commanded as he rapidly punched his taller companion's torso."
Floon'kee slowly made his way out of the room. "Hold your horses, Scuul'eon. I'll let you out when we're outside her Ben-" The taller guard was interrupted as he inadvertently stepped on the roller-skate, causing him to fall back, throwing Scuul'eon and Croakie backwards, resulting in the stout guard and frog breaking through the glass door leading to Rayfa's veranda and flying over the edge, ending with them landing on the ground outside with a thud.
Floon'kee quietly gasped. "Scuul'eon!" The taller guard looked over at Rayfa and noticed that she was still sound asleep. "Wow, Her Benevolence is one heck of a sleeper. Great, now I forgot what I was doing…" Floon'kee snapped his fingers. "Oh right, now I remember… Scuul'eon!" The taller guard rushed out onto the veranda and looked down, where the case containing Scuul'eon slightly twitched.
"Scuul'eon, are you okay?" Floon'kee whispered.
"Yeah… I'm fine… At least the frog's dead…" Scuul'eon grunted in agony. "Just get down here quickly and quietly."
"Right." Floon'kee jumped off of the veranda and landed on top of Scuul'eon.
"I hate you… I really do…" Scuul'eon growled.
The next morning, Inga was nestled in the warm embrace of his satin covers, dreaming sweet dreams of Ga'ran being struck down with holy lightning, when suddenly; he was jolted awake by a heavy weight slamming on his stomach.
"No, Ga'ran, it's too early for…" Inga felt a feeling of relief in seeing that Rayfa was the one who woke him up; but also a feeling of dread at the sight of her eyes bloodshot and her cheeks red, evident of her crying just recently, as her nose started to run. "Rayfa? What's wrong, sugar plum?" Inga asked as he gently wiped the stream of snot from Rayfa's nose with his finger.
"Well-well-well… I-I woke up this morning… and- and my room… it was devastated… My stuffed animals… scattered about…! And… And Croakie…! OH, CROAKIE!" Rayfa wailed at the top of her lungs, burying her face in Inga's gold satin pajamas as fresh tears flowed from her eyes.
Inga rubbed the back of his daughter's head. "Now, now, Rayfa. What happened to Croakie?"
Rayfa looked up at her father, her lower lip trembling. "He… He was kidnapped!"
"Kidnapped? Are ya sure about that, Rayfa?"
"Father… my room looks like a tornado blew through it, and Croakie's gone without a trace! What else could have happened!?"
At that moment, Nayna entered the room and shuffled over to the father-daughter duo.
"There you are, Your Benevolence. As the days go on, you keep getting quicker and quicker while these old bones of mine get stiffer and stiffer." Nayna chuckled before directing her attention to Inga. "I'm awfully sorry about the interruption, Minister Inga. I told Her Benevolence that you were sound asleep, but you know how she can be."
"Don't worry about it, Nayna. I'm actually glad that Rayfa came to me 'cause I'm gonna get Croakie back for her." Inga responded as he got out of bed.
"But Father, Croakie could be anywhere in Khura'in. How do you expect to find him?" Rayfa meekly asked.
Inga grinned at Rayfa as he picked up his cigar stamp and clenched it between his teeth. "Don't underestimate the Minister of Justice, Rayfa. Not only do I know where Croakie is, but I know who took him, and I'm gonna give them a piece of my mind! So just sit tight and you and Croakie will be back together before ya know it."
Rayfa ran over to Inga and hugged his leg. "Oh, thank you, Father! You are the best father- nay! The best man to ever exist! Now go get them, Father!" Rayfa cheerfully ordered Inga as he proudly marched out of his private quarters.
In Ga'ran's audience chamber, the queen sat on regal throne as she discussed matters of the utmost importance with Lah'kee.
"In regards to our husband transgression of allowing Rayfa a pet, We've been thinking and feel that the best course of action is not to destroy his statue, but to only allow him to only eat Taste None cereal from now on. Yes… every bland, wooden flake that our foolish husband chokes down shall be a constant reminder of what happens when you choose to mess with us." Ga'ran smirked.
"Your Emineeeence! That idea is as perfect as you are!" Lah'kee loudly responded.
"GA'RAN!" Inga yelled as he marched right up to his wife.
"Speak of the Dhurke. Inga, what brings you here at this time in your jammies? Do wish for me to prepare you a snack…" Ga'ran flashed Inga a sultry grin. "or do you wish to give me one?"
"Ga'ran, I ain't in the mood for this right now. I need to talk to you, so tell your little lapdogs to take a hike!" Inga sternly ordered through clenched teeth as he bit down on his cigar stamp.
"Fine, but only out of sheer curiosity." Ga'ran raised her arm. "Guards, please leave the chamber so that we may talk with our husband…"
"Ur dihara Ga'ran!" The guards said in unison as they raised their swords before leaving the room in an orderly fashion.
"So Inga, as I asked before, what brings you-"
"Where's Croakie's corpse, Ga'ran?" Inga curtly asked.
Ga'ran cocked her head. "What?"
"Rayfa's pet frog that she got yesterday. I know you killed it, so where's the corpse?"
"Inga, what reason would I, the Queen and Grand Priestess of Khura'in, have to kill a mere frog?"
"'Cause Croakie gave Rayfa joy- something that you'd chase into the woods and shoot down on sight if it was a living, breathing creature! So after over 20 long, painful years of marriage to you, I know that Croakie was either killed by your lapdogs or you tortured it until it killed itself, see! And since it didn't have a look of psychological trauma in its eyes that only you can give, I'm going with the latter. So I'll ask you once more: Where's Croakie's corpse? I don't wanna have Rayfa stumbling on it."
"You got me, Inga. Yes, I had Rayfa's pathetic frog killed. But that's not going to bring Croakie back to life now, is it?"
"Listen, hag of the mountain, I don't have to bring Croakie back to life because Rayfa thinks that its merely kidnapped; so all I've gotta do is go out and buy her a new frog and you'll fail at your plans like how you've failed at spirit channeling!" Inga sneered.
Ga'ran narrowed her eyes into a fierce glare. "Well, you of all people should know what failure looks like, Inga, considering that you have failed to make me orgasm for over a quarter of a century!"
"Hey, maybe I'd be more motivated if you were actually attractive, see? Plus, it would probably help if you'd actually let me face you for once."
"You know what the difference between you and an egg is, Inga? An egg is done in more than three minutes and it doesn't cry when it's beaten!"
"Sticks and stones, Ga'ran. Point is that I win, you lose. Score one for Inga Karkhuul Haw'kohd Dis'nahm Bi'ahni Lawga Ormo Pohmpus Da'nit Ar'edi Iz Khura'in III." Inga smirked. "So what does that bring my victory score up to, Ga'ran?"
"One point for you, and 467,921,532 for me." Ga'ran smugly replied. "But your victory this day is meaningless because I'll simply have this new frog disappear as well."
"You make Croakie disappear, and I'll just make him reappear. So feast on them apples!"
"Ah, but I can simply break the cycle and tell Rayfa the truth about her precious little frog by recovering the body and-" Ga'ran was interrupted by Inga's cellphone ringing, which he answered and put on speaker.
"Speak to me, Captain." Inga said.
"Minister Inga, the secret police have found the frog's body buried outside the temple and are preparing to burn it. C Squad has completed their objectives and is en route to the palace."
"What!" Ga'ran dug her fingernails into the arm of her throne. "When-"
Inga chuckled. "Like I said, Ga'ran, a man learns things after living with you for so long. So while I kept you busy with our argument, my boys were able to complete my plan without you sticking your fat nose in it. Another point for the minister with a wife that's sinister!"
"Two points, Inga, that's double your length when erect." Ga'ran sneered, a grin spreading across her face as Inga flinched. "And with that, my score is now 467,921,533."
Later, Rayfa was still sitting on Inga's bed, lightly sobbing as Nayna tried to comfort her.
"Now, now, Your Benevolence. Don't cry. Your father's going to be back any minute now." The 'elderly' woman said as she stroked her hand through Rayfa's hair.
At that moment, as if on cue, Inga popped his head inside his private quarters.
"Hey Rayfa, someone's here to see ya!" Inga stated as he entered the room, showing Rayfa the frog in his hand.
"Father!" Rayfa chirped, a smile forming on her face as she ran over to Inga and took the frog out of his hands. "Oh, Croakie! How I missed you so!" The little princes said as she hugged what she thought was her original pet. "Father, where was he?"
"Well, using my connections as the Minister of Justice, I was able to determine that Croakie was being held hostage by the Defiant Dragons in the Bazar. So me and a few of my boys went over there to arrest the thugs; but you wouldn't believe what we found: Croakie had incapacitated his captor went out and bought you a present. Speaking of which…" Inga took out a bouquet of flowers and gave them to Rayfa.
"Thank you, Croakie! They're beautiful!" Rayfa cheerfully stated as she sniffed the flowers before putting Croakie down on the bed next to her and hugging Inga. "Thank you for saving Croakie, Father. I love you!"
"I love you too, Rayfa. And as long as I'm around, I'll always be there to protect you."
Nine years later in the High Court of Khura'in, Rayfa angrily paces back and forth as she dares daggers into the gallery, which consists of Apollo, Nahyuta, and Datz.
"Horn Head, Braid Head, Buzz Cut Head, do you know why I called you here?" Rayfa asks.
"To tell us how you can only give us nicknames based in our hairstyles?" Datz responds before bursting out into laughter.
Rayfa growls. "If that's how you feel, then perhaps you'd prefer the name Monkey Mouth instead." The princess sneers, causing Datz to stop laughing.
"I'm sorry, Your Benevolence, but I fear that I don't know why you wanted the three of us here." Nahyuta calmly chimes in. "Care to explain?"
"Fine. Do you know what THIS is!?" Rayfa angrily askes as she pulls out a plastic bag containing a dead, flattened frog in it.
"Lunch!?" Datz excitedly askes before licking his lips.
"No, you sick barbarian!" Rayfa yells.
"… A frog?" Apollo hesitantly replies.
"Not just any frog, Horn Head, my beloved childhood pet, Croakie! You see, Mother and I were walking through the Royal Residence, enjoying the lovely weather when lo and behold, we found Croakie flattened in the middle of the path like a leaf beneath the deer's hoof. And so, knowing that you three were the only ones besides us to enter the courtyard today, Croakie's murder has to be one of you. So, which one of you three nincompoops murdered my dear friend Croakie?"
Rayfa glares at the three men, pointing her staff at them as they just sat there in silence.
"In the end, it matters not if any of you admit to your crimes, for Croakie's mitamah will tell me the full story..."
Rayfa puts her staff off to the side and removes her robe before proceeding to perform the Divination Séance. However, during the ritual, instead of seeing Apollo, Nahyuta, or Datz, Rayfa sees Floon'kee showing a mattress case over Croakie before accidentally throwing him over the veranda, resulting in him getting crushed as the image went black and the word 'Pain!' appears in large red letters.
Rayfa just stood there completely gobstruck, her eyes wide and her mouth hanging open.
"W-What the-" Rayfa sputters out but is interrupted as another vision appeares in the Pool of Souls.
Then, one after another, as if watching a home movie, Rayfa sees about 16,586 death scenes, including, but not limited to: Scuul'eon smashing Croakie with a hammer, Floon'kee bludgeoning Croakie with his day planner, Croakie accidently getting crushed under a sleeping Inga as the Minister of Justice rolls over after she placed her frog on his bed, Ga'ran stabbing Croakie with her long fingernails, and Croakie standing in Bazar before Datz picks him up and eats him- the lattermost one causing the group to flash Datz looks of pure disgust.
"What? I was hungry and thought that it was one of those Granny Smith apples they have back in the States!"
As the last scene ends, Rayfa's shoulders slump, her complexion paling and her breathing becoming shallow, as she turns to face the group.
"How… Why… What-what in the Holy Mother's name is this supposed to mean?" Rayfa shakily asks.
"Uh, Your Benevolence, there's another scene forming in the Poll of Spirits." Nahyuta points to the pool, where another scene is starting to take form.
In this new scene, Croakie is standing in the middle of the main path in the Royal Residence when suddenly, Apollo, who is running through the area while checking his watch, trips on a loose stone and falls on Croakie, killing him before the scene ends.
This new scene causes Rayfa's face to gain some color in the form of red as she glares daggers at Apollo and clenches her fits, causing her knuckles to go white.
"Horn Head…! You… YOU… NINCOMPOOP! How dare you kill Croakie in broad daylight and then refuse to confess to your crimes!?"
Apollo's horns start to droop as his face becomes drenched in sweat. "Wait, but what about the other 15 thousand or so other deaths. By that logic Croakie was-"
*ka-tonk!*
"Ow!" Apollo yells as Rayfa punched him.
"We are not here for those murders, Barbed Head! We are here for this one and you are the culprit! Prepare to face your punishment for your sins!" *ka-tonk!* Rayfa angrily proclaims as she punches Apollo again.
"Wait, I can explain! I-"
*ka-tonk!* *ka-tonk!* *ka-tonk!"
"Hold it!"