It's bonus chapter time... enjoy!

Ana

It's been a week since Christian and I have officially separated and I went through with my plan. The next day I went to look for apartments in downtown Seattle until I found a cute two-bedroom apartment that I have rented for the next six months. Christian has moved back to the house and Luke has moved into the apartment next door, so I still have my space, but security nearby in case I need him.

I have also looked for office buildings to move Grey Publishing, but so far I haven't found the right space. Instead, I have made the decision to step back as CEO and once I have found the right replacement, I will go back to being an editor in my company. It's what I love and always wanted to be, so I feel like going back to that is the right thing to do… and a small part of me is hoping that I can somehow find a way to get over my wish of becoming a mother by having the career of my dreams.

Before I left the big house I had a long talk with Taylor. Like me, he believes that Elena Lincoln is still in some way manipulating Christian and actually after hearing him talk about himself in such a negative way, I'm also suspicious about John. I know that Christian is rather hard to read and if he doesn't want you to know something, you probably never find out, but they had their weekly meetings for so many years that there should have been a breakthrough by now.

So now, Taylor is not only Christian's CPO again, but he also is investigating both John and Elena to find out what the hell is going on.

On top of everything, I feel like I'm coming down with something. My stomach is constantly upset, my body feels a bit sore and my skin is so dry that I had to get a new moisturizer for extra dry skin and even that can't help the itchy feeling my skin is giving me. Maybe it is just stress, but Grace insisted that I get checked as soon as possible.

Today, I have left the hotel and moved into my new apartment. I love the place… for the first time ever I have taken advantage of the Grey name to get everything ready within three days and it's perfect. The furniture and decorations are all shabby chic and the whole place reminds me of a huge dollhouse, but I love it. It is warm, welcoming and cozy. A place where I can just curl up on the couch with a good book and forget everything else and right now I'm putting my kitchen to good use because Kate, Mia, Claire and Hannah will come over and stay the first night here with me.

I'm really looking forward to this evening. I really need a time out, just to hang with my girls, watch crap TV and have a good laugh to take my mind off things. When my phone rings I smile.

"Hi, José, what's up?"

"Not much, just making sure you're good."

"Yup, I'm in my new apartment making food for Mia, Kate, Hannah, Claire and me. We are having a sleepover."

"Sounds like fun… listen I'm going to visit my Dad this weekend, want to meet?"

"Yes, of course. Just give me a call, you can stay at my place if you like, I have a second bedroom."

"Really? Cool, I'm going to visit my Dad from Friday to Saturday afternoon, so I could be at your place on Saturday in the early evening."

"Perfect, maybe you are lucky and I cook my famous chili for you."

"Then I'll make sure to wear sweats so I can eat an entire pot full without having to open my pants to make room for my stomach." He laughs and I have to giggle too.

"Looking forward to it."

"Me too, bye Ana."

"Bye." I hang up and smile. It's good to have José back in my life. He has always been like a brother to me and I have missed him a lot.

A little later my friends arrive and we sit down to eat, but as soon as the scent of Enchiladas hits me I feel my stomach turn and try to breathe through it.

"Are you okay, Ana? You look pale and…." Mia doesn't get to finish her sentence because I feel the saliva gathering in my mouth and jump up to reach my toilet just in time to through up.

When there is nothing more left in my stomach I rest my head on the toilet seat and try to catch my breath.

"Here, take a sip of water." I hear Kate behind me and shake my head. I feel so dizzy and sick; I know even the slightest sip of water will come right back up.

Instead, I get up on shaky legs and if it wasn't for Claire catching me, I would have landed on my ass.

"Girl, that's it, you've been looking like crap for weeks now, I know going through a break up is hard, but that's too much, we are getting you to the ER now." She says and I shake my head.

"Ana, please, she is right, you look really sick, please." Mia begs and I give up, I have no idea what it is about Mia, but she has those huge puppy eyes and I can never say no to her.

So, instead of watching a movie and having lots of food, I find myself at the ER and after the Doctor has looked at me and I have described my symptoms he gives me a sympathetic smile.

"Is it possible that you are pregnant, Mrs. Grey?" He asks and I can't help the bitter laugh that erupts from my throat.

"No, it's not possible." I answer and he hands me a plastic cup.

"I would like to do a test anyway. Over there is the bathroom, we will need a urine sample."

He says and I give up, head into the bathroom, pee into the cup and hand it to the doctor who puts a little stick in it.

"Look, there is no way I am pregnant… it's not possible." I murmur sadly.

"Well, Mrs. Grey, according to this test it is possible. Congratulations." He says and I feel faint.

"No… it's impossible… the test is wrong… my… my husband, he had a vasectomy and I have never been with anyone else." I stutter and the Doctor helps me to sit on the bench again.

"Do you need a water, Mrs. Grey?"

"No… how?" I ask and he smiles at me again.

"Well, assuming that you are telling me the truth and you haven't cheated on your husband, I'd say his vasectomy didn't work or it reversed itself, it's rare, but it happens. Your husband should make an appointment with his Doctor to get his sperm count tested."

"Are you sure I'm pregnant?" I ask and he nods.

"We can do a sonogram if you want to, but it might be too early to see anything. We can also take a blood sample and I give the lab a call that I need the results immediately, it would only take an hour." He offers and I nod, so he draws my blood and sends it to the lab.

A little later I'm in a different room and a young technician is applying gel to my flat stomach.

"First-time mommy?" She asks and I just stare at her blankly. This is what I have dreamed of for so long… and now it's a disaster. Christian is never going to believe me that it is his child. No, he will think that I have cheated on him and even if he does believe me… he doesn't want to have a child.

"Well, let's see if we can already find something." She says cheerfully and starts the machine.

"See here this is your uterus… oh look, there it is." She says and points to a dot so tiny, I have to squint to really see it.

"You are very newly pregnant… maybe three or four weeks. It's luck we could already find your little one." She says and I frown.

"But I had my period just two weeks ago."

"That's not unusual. Some women continue to have their period for the first month or even longer, but it's true, you are pregnant… do you want me to print the picture for you?" She asks and I nod, just as the door bursts open and Grace comes in.

"Ana what is going o…. oh." She whispers and stares at the screen and then to me. It takes one look at her and I know what she is thinking.

"I have never cheated, please don't look at me like that." I whisper and burst into tears. If Grace is reacting like this, how am I ever going to convince Christian that I didn't cheat on him.?

"Darling, hush, it's alright. Christian and you had a hard time… I'm not blaming you… it's just…"

"I DID NOT CHEAT ON MY HUSBAND!" I yell at her through my tears. This is a nightmare; I just need to wake up.

"Ok, please Ana, you need to calm down." Grace says and wipes my tears with a tissue.

"Calm down? How am I supposed to calm down… I can't believe this is happening to me, Grace. Christian will never believe me and even if he does… he doesn't want to have children… I guess that makes it official… my marriage is over." I sob and curl up into a ball.

I wanted to have children so much… was obsesses with getting pregnant… and now that I am, I can't even be happy, because I know my child will not grow up with happy parents. No, this child will grow up with a single mom and a father who might not even be present at all, because he is so fucked up in the head that he believes he will hurt him or her or cause serious damages just by being a part of his or her life.

And the thought that this it… that there really is no way for Christian and me to get back together is so painful that I can't even manage to breathe. Suddenly, it feels like the walls are closing in on me and all I can hear is my own rapid breathing and the roaring of blood in my ears before everything turns black.

When I open my eyes again, I'm in a hospital bed and Mia, Kate and Grace are all watching me.

"Wh-what is happening." I murmur and Kate leans over me.

"You had a panic attack and passed out… man, you scared me, nearly sent me into labor and I won't do that again, so don't shock me like that again, I'm having my c-section next week." Kate sniffs and I take her hand in mine.

"Sorry."

"Oh, don't apologize. Now, tell me, how are you feeling?"

"Like shit." I answer honestly and she snorts.

"At least you don't look like shit… listen, Ana, I called Elliot to tell him that we are at the hospital with you and Christian was there… he is pacing outside the room demanding to see you. I will tell him to fuck off if that's what you want…"

"No, just give me a moment. I have to tell him anyway, so why not now. You two should go home and get some sleep." I say to Mia and Kate who reluctantly agree and leave.

"Does he know, Grace?" I ask.

"No, I have asked your Doctor not to tell him. This is something you need to discuss with him." She says and I can still see that she is doubting if the child I'm carrying is really her grandchild.

"You are a Doctor Grace, the first thing the Doctor at the ER told me is that sometimes a vasectomy doesn't work correctly or even reserves itself after a few years, but I can still see that you think I have cheated." I say sadly.

"Darling, I don't want to believe that is what happened, but the chances of a vasectomy reversing itself are very slim… and Christian and you have been separated…"

"For two weeks, Grace and according to the Doctor, I am three to four weeks pregnant. Four weeks ago I was still with your son. I had no idea what was going on, so why would I have cheated on him?" I ask and she shrugs.

"I don't know darling, I guess we have to wait and see." She says and I try my hardest not to cry.

"I need to be alone for a minute, can you please leave and tell Christian to come in, in a minute?"

"Of course." She says and leaves while I take a couple of deep breaths trying to fight the urge to vomit or run thinking about how Christian is going to react to this news.

A moment later the door flies open and Christian storms in, he looks scared until his eyes find me and scan me from head to toe.

"What is going on, Ana? Are you okay?" He asks.

"Yes, I'm okay… I guess. Please sit down, we need to talk." I murmur and try to fight the nausea. He slowly walks over to the chair and sits down.

"Have you been to see your doctor before you told me to go off birth control?" I start and he frowns.

"No, why? I had a test done six weeks after I had the vasectomy, it worked."

"Apparently there is a small chance that over time the cut they make can heal enough for it to reverse the effect of the vasectomy." I tell him and watch him pale.

"Why are you telling me this?" He asks and his voice sounds strangely detached.

"I have been feeling sick for some time now… today Mia insisted to bring me here and … well… I'm pregnant. I haven't been with anyone else, so the only option is that you are the father." I say and watch him as the color drains from his face.

"Are you sure?" He asks and I frown.

"Yes, I saw the baby on a sonogram."

"No, are you sure it's mine?" He asks and I take a deep breath, so I won't yell at him.

"Yes, I have never cheated on you, so there is no other option." I reply though my voice makes it clear that I am upset by his question.

"Are you going to keep it?" He asks again void of any emotion.

For a second I'm so shocked by his question that I can't even answer, but finally, I find my voice again.

"I can't have an abortion, I couldn't live with myself if I did… so yes, I'm keeping the baby."

I watch him and can see all kinds of emotions on his face. Doubt, confusion, and most prominent fear. He is scared and I want to hug him and tell him that it is okay to be scared, that we can do this together, but before I can do anything he gets up.

"I… I can't do this… I'm sorry, baby." He whispers and I can hear the unshed tears in his voice as he gets up and turns to leave.

"Christian please, I know you are scared, but you will be a wonderful father… please don't leave, we can do this." I beg and he stops for a second, his hand on the doorknob, but then he shakes his head and leaves.

The sound of the door shutting behind him starts to echo in my ears and it's like this soft clicking noise is telling me that this is it. He is not coming back and I have to face the reality, that I am going to be a single mother and my dream of a happy little family is never going to come true…

A/N: I know, throwing a child in the mix seems like a horrible idea, but there is a reason for every detail in this story, so just believe me, that this is acutally a good thing for this story :)