Christian Grey sat in his penthouse study overlooking the city and sighed. He knew there was nothing left here for him to do. The Taiwan offices of GEH were running smoothly and had been for the last couple of months. If he was being honest with himself, he knew he only stayed because he was too scared to go back to Seattle.
He knew Ana had found a new home, she was getting settled in her new life, but he couldn't say the same thing about him. He had been spiraling ever since the day he told Ana he couldn't be a father for their child. When he left her crying in her apartment something broke inside of him and ever since that day life had become meaningless to him. Most days it was a struggle to even get out of bed and get ready for a new day.
Since everything was running so smoothly at the offices, he didn't go in more than once a week, so he spent most of his days at the apartment he had rented and only got up to use the bathroom or heat some food up in the microwave. Even his personal hygiene had massively suffered because many days passed by where he couldn't be bothered with brushing his teeth, shaving or taking a shower. Instead, he would sport the same dirty sweatpants and t-shirts for days without even noticing the less than attractive odor his lack of hygiene was producing.
Food had become his friend. It gave him comfort, made him feel better and had also ensured that most of his suits had become too small to fit him.
Reynolds who was with him as security detail had told him point blank one night when he had found him stuffing his face with chips and ice cream while drinking whiskey that he was depressed and needed to sort his shit out, but Christian had just told him to fuck off. Then he had called Elena and after talking to her for almost two hours she had him convinced that he would get better and that he was just feeling out of sorts because he was so far away from home and should talk to John more than once a week.
Still, his thoughts circulated around Ana and the fact that the child would be born soon. He still refused to listen to anyone who called to convince him that he needed to head back home when he knew he couldn't do it. So far, he didn't even know if Ana was expecting a boy or a girl, because not knowing made it easier for him to see the baby as a thing and not a real human being that he was about to neglect.
Not even knowing that he was doing the right thing could help soothe the ache he was feeling deep inside of him… there was only one thing that could make him whole again… one person who could make him happy again and he had hurt her too much to ever be able to make it up to her. If there was one thing that he was positive about than it was the fact that his marriage was over and he had ruined it all by himself.
There was no one else to blame but him… he was a fuck up and in the end, he was too fucked up to keep something as beautiful and pure as Ana in his life. And just the thought made him feel so disgusted with himself that he needed something to give him comfort. So he got off the bed and made his way into the kitchen where he grabbed a bag of mini KitKat's and threw himself onto the sofa to devour them all in one sitting.
He was already half way through the bag when his phone started to ring. Seeing his mother's name as caller ID he thought about letting it go to voice mail, she was probably about to chew him out about not even calling Mia on her birthday, but he had enough of his sister giving him grief.
Still, in the end, he reached for his phone and took the call.
"Hello, mother."
"Christian… you have to come home." He heard his mother's tear laced voice and sat up straight.
"What is going on, Mom? Has something happened to Dad? Is it grams or grandpa?" He asked hoping nothing had happened to either of them and then his mother brought his world to a complete stop with just three little words.
"It is Ana."
"What… I don't understand. What do you mean it's Ana, is she having the baby, is that what you are telling me?" He yelled into the phone as his panic started to rise.
"They are getting the baby as we speak… we were at Mia's party... no one saw how it happened... but suddenly we heard a scream from inside... Ana... she fell down the stairs... her head hit the marble floor and she also landed on her stomach... she was unconscious, but came to it briefly… she insisted to save her child… it's bad… you need to come home." Grace cried and Christian shook his head… this wasn't happening, it couldn't… he couldn't live in a world where Ana was dead.
"They have to save her first…. She can have more babies later… please, Mom, you have to tell them to save her first." He begged as he frantically ran through the mess that was his penthouse, trying to get dressed so he could get to the airport.
"I can't they are already in the OR … I know you don't want to hear this but…"
"I'm coming home." He said and hung up, screaming for Reynolds to get a jet ready for them.
Hours later, when he arrived back in Seattle he was out of his mind with worry, so much so, that he didn't have the courage to call his mother and find out if Ana was still alive. He didn't want to hear the words he dreaded the most.
When he finally arrived at the hospital he ran inside and was just about to find someone to tell him where he needed to go when someone grabbed him by the shirt and he was faced with his very angry father in law.
"What the hell do you think you are doing here? Just leave, it's what you do best anyway." Ray Steele hissed at his son in law. There had been times where he had been so thankful that his daughter had found herself a good husband in Christian, but when he left her because she was pregnant with his own child, Ray wanted to beat the shit out of Christian and after the night he had just endured, seeing him just made his anger worse.
"Ray please, I know I deserve all of your anger, but please, please I need to see, Ana."
"You can't, she is in surgery again, they thought they had repaired all the internal damage, but she's still bleeding." He said almost choking on his words, thinking about his daughter fighting for her life… fighting to see her own daughter just once. Still, he had this tiny hope to simply wake up and none of it had happened. That Annie would call him laughing about some of her latest cravings or just to tell him that she was doing fine, because of all the things he had prepared himself for as a father, he wasn't prepared to lose his child.
"The baby?" Ray looked at his son in law and wanted to tell him to fuck off, but the horrible reality was that his granddaughter could end up without a mother within hours of her being born, so he couldn't tell her father to leave.
"Arielle is fine, she wasn't harmed in any way… it's a miracle. She's a tiny little thing being three weeks early, but she can breathe on her own and will be ready to go home in a few days."
"Arielle… a girl… I have a daughter." Christian murmured and suddenly he felt drawn to the child, if he couldn't see Ana, he needed to make sure his daughter was fine. Ana wanted this child so much, loved her already so much that she insisted for her daughter to be saved before her… now he needed to make sure nothing happened to his daughter until Ana was well enough to see her.
"Where is she?"
"On the NICU, she has to stay there overnight. Your mother and Carla are with her." Ray said and watched as his son in law took off into the direction of the elevator, while he stepped outside and took a deep breath, hoping and praying that his daughter would fight through this if not for all the people that had gathered in the waiting area to be close to her than for her daughter…
Christian finally arrived at the NICU and was let in by a nurse who gave him some scrubs to change into before he was allowed to enter and three minutes later he stepped into a room where a few nurses were checking on unbelievably tiny newborns in incubators. He looked around and found his mother and Carla in the far corner, both women had one hand through holes in the incubator and he automatically stepped closer.
"Mom?"
"Christian…" Grace stopped startled for a second when she laid eyes on his son… he looked rough to say at least. His once clean shaven face was sporting a beard and he looked as if he had gained at least 15 pounds since she had last seen him.
"Christian… come here, do you want to see your daughter?" Grace then asked and for a second he hesitated, but then he stepped closer and looked at the baby, that already had a head full of dark hair and was kicking her little arms and legs. She was smaller as his nieces and nephew had been, but nowhere near as small as the other babies he had seen in the incubators.
„You can touch her if you reach through here." His Mom said and he was almost scared.
„Dr. Grey, your granddaughter is stable enough to bond... which one of you wants to hold her." A nurse asked.
„I want to hold my daughter." Christian said without even thinking about it.
„Ok, you can sit over, Mr. Grey." The nurse told him and he did. He was very nervous about this, but he couldn't let Ana and his daughter down again, by neglecting his child when her mother was fighting for her life and couldn't give her all the love she needed and deserved.
When the nurse placed his child in his arms Christian stopped breathing for a second. She was so dainty and small, he was afraid to hurt her by just holding her.
„Relax, darling. You are not going to hurt her." His mother said and he did and ran his finger down her soft little cheek.
„Hi Arielle... today was a lot for you... but I promise you from now on it's getting better. I'll make sure of it." He said and suddenly she opened her eyes and looked at him. In this moment he could no longer hold back his tears because she had Ana's eyes.
„Mom, will Ana get through this?"
„We don't know yet, sweetheart. She suffered severe head trauma and the internal bleeding... she will most likely have to stay here for a long time before she can go home, if... if..."
„When she gets better, Mom... when... there is no if." He said and his mom smiled through her tears.
„Yes, when she gets better. Your Dad and I will take Arielle home until Ana is ready to take her home." His mother said and he looked at his daughter.
„No."
„But Ana will need weeks to recover and Arielle can go home in a few days." Grace said confused.
„I know, but I will take her home... to her real home. I will take care of my daughter until Ana is better." Christian said. He had let Ana down enough, he wasn't about to do it again and he would not let his daughter down. There was still time to make things right.
Grace looked at his son and granddaughter even though she was still very much angry with her son, she was also happy that he finally was ready to do the right thing. Maybe finally seeing Arielle and understanding that she was a real human and not a thing was what he needed to see that he was capable of love and would never hurt his child like he feared.
After holding his daughter for a while the nurse told him she needed to go back into the incubator so she wouldn't get cold and when Arielle was asleep he stepped out of the NICU took his phone and called Gail, who was still looking after the house at the sound.
„Good evening, Mr. Grey." She said when she answered the phone.
„Good evening, Gail. Listen, I need you to get the guest room next to the master bedroom ready. I'm sure you are aware of the situation and I will bring my daughter home once she is ready to leave the hospital. I will need the room ready, clothes, food, diapers... you probably know better than I do what Arielle will need, so please just get whatever you think I'll need for her. Get help if you need to... it just has to be ready within the next three or four days, because that's when Arielle will be released."
„Of course, Sir... just... how is Ana?" Gail asked and Christian sighed.
„They had to get her back into surgery... we are still waiting for news. I have to go back to my daughter." He said and hung up.
He knew he couldn't be with Ana for a few more hours, so he would just focus on his daughter, because right now she was the only reason he was keeping it together...
There will be a bonus chapter this weekend...