Author's Note: Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

~ladykikyo1792

Chapter 4: Playing Pretend

That afternoon, Wendy was sitting in her room. She had math homework to do, but she couldn't concentrate. Even though she'd told Mary Margaret she was okay to stay in school for the rest of the day, she hadn't been able to think of anything but Peter.

Most of the Lost Boys used bows and arrows. Felix used a club. Some had spears. But only one person on Neverland had a dagger. Only one person put Lost Boys to death by slitting their throats. She sighed. Maybe the others had been right. At the time, she'd been so sure Felix hadn't killed First and Second Twin. But thinking back...it could easily have been him. Felix knew her almost as well as Peter. He would have known aggravating her would make her want to get away. He also would have known the only place she could seek out to get away from him was the girls' bathroom. And he would have known just the right things to rattle her.

Then there was the switchblade.

Part of her still refused to think of anyone but Peter using a dagger. That same part of her insisted that Felix, if given the choice, would never use one, especially to kill- he'd think of it as disrespectful to Pan. Another part of her, though, knew that he had been Pan's second, his right-hand man, deputy in all things. So with Pan gone, wouldn't Felix have become the leader of the Lost Boys? And wouldn't that new leader's first act have been to punish those who'd betrayed the old?

That made sense to her too. In fact, Felix could have imitated Pan's style of killing as a weird sort of homage to him.

But maybe there was something she was missing. Perhaps there had been another Lost Boy with a dagger.

Only one way to find out, she thought grimly. She swallowed and slid open her desk drawer. As she pressed the hidden catch, the false bottom came up, revealing a tattered book. Gently, she picked it up, trying to make herself open it.

When she'd first come back from Neverland, her brothers had insisted she go for therapy to Dr. Hopper. They apparently were worried she'd have Stockholm Syndrome or something- not that she had ever agreed with Pan's methods. Still, they were her legal guardians, and so she couldn't refuse. Over the course of many sessions, Dr. Hopper had suggested that the only way she could learn to let go of her memories was by writing them down. Once they were written down, she could forget them.

"Think of it as writing an old book," he'd told her, "one that you finally get to close." Smiling, he'd given her the worn book to emphasize that. He'd also given her a shiny new one- this one pink and with a golden lock -but she hadn't opened it yet. She hadn't felt she'd become Gwen just yet, and Gwen was who that diary was for. She told herself she wasn't quite Wendy, either. But it was Wendy's words and Wendy's memories she needed now, if nothing else than to reassure herself that Peter's days as a killer- Peter's days at all -were well and truly over.

I've long since lost track of the days here. Days blend into nights and nights blend into days. I don't even know how old I am- Peter doesn't let us celebrate birthdays...

Wendy flipped the page. She knew that time didn't exist in Neverland. That wasn't surprising.

Today Peter let me hunt with the Lost Boys. He used to be absolutely against it, but ever since the incident with Hook...well, he's agreed that I may need to learn to defend myself. He hates it though. Secretly, I think it's because he doesn't want me to be in a situation where he can't save me. But he'll never admit it.

Or, maybe that's just me hoping such things. More likely it's because he doesn't want to miss a situation where he can fight Hook.

This is the first time I've ever had a weapon in my hand. I've got a bow and arrow, though mine are smaller than the boys' bows. I've never seen them hunt before- they always brought back food for their "mother" to cook (luckily, I've never seen what the meat used to be). They're a bit savage in their excitement...

Wendy sighed. This wasn't exactly something she wanted to recall either, but she knew she had definitely listed their weapons a few pages after this one, because she had been fascinated after that hunt. Accordingly, she flipped the page.

...I just can't believe how confident they are. Most of the boys- Slightly, Tootles, the Twins, and quite a few others -carry bow and arrow, and they're lethal with it. Nibs has a slingshot. The stones he uses are dipped in dreamshade. Curly likes a spear, and Felix uses a club. Rufio and Peter use daggers...

At that, Wendy sucked in a breath. Before Felix was Peter's second, there was Rufio. Wild, vivacious, rebellious Rufio. He was almost as good as Peter, and the boys loved him almost as much as Peter (Wendy, in fact, had been fond of him too). Rufio was a little less harsh than Pan. Instead of killing those who disobeyed, or letting them "rest" in the Mermaids' Lagoon for a while, Rufio would tie them to trees and make them wait while the other boys came up with a prank to scare them. If they had done something truly reprehensible, Rufio often suggested simply sending the boy away from Neverland, and he would not be allowed to return. Consequently, while the boys feared Pan, they admired Rufio, and Peter was well-aware of that.

Wendy was pretty sure that was why Rufio ended up dead. Peter told everyone Hook did it, and it was true that Rufio had fallen in battle. However, though Peter had no qualms about his boys ending up injured at the hands of the pirates, none had ever been killed- until Rufio. To the boys, it only made them hate Hook more, because he had done the impossible: taken a Lost Boy's life.

To Wendy, it seemed awfully strange. However, she didn't dare voice her suspicions.

Shaking her head, she quickly closed the book. Aside from the fact she didn't want to think of any of them anymore- let alone Rufio, who had always been kind to her -she didn't want to consider the awful truth in the diary: there were only two Lost Boys who used daggers. Both of them were dead.

Or at least, they were supposed to be.

Just then, Wendy's cell phone beeped. She flopped onto her bed and opened it. Inside was a text message from Grace:

Grace: Hey...that was crazy today. I know you're probably sitting alone thinking about it, and I know you think that's how you should deal with it, but I think you could use a distraction. Gret and I are going costume shopping for the dance- want to come?

Wendy considered. Grace was right- sitting alone was how she wanted to deal with it. Seeing two massacred bodies of two people she had known for a long time in the span of two days...it was a lot. She wasn't quite sure how she was supposed to just go costume shopping and pretend like nothing was wrong.

Then she heard the telltale car horn outside. Apparently, Grace had made the decision for her. Groaning, she grabbed her jacket and ran down the stairs. Gretel waved from the passenger seat of the car, while Grace honked on the horn.

"Come on, Gwen! The store closes in an hour! We have to hurry!" Gretel grinned at her.

"Only you would decide to go costume shopping with one hour to spare," Wendy said. She slammed the car door shut, then snuggled into the warmth of the backseat.

Grace winked, "Yeah, but you still came." Then she floored it, and the girls were speeding down the streets of Storybrooke, keeping their fingers crossed the new sheriff wouldn't give Grace yet another ticket.

Inside the costume shop, Wendy was waiting for Grace and Gretel to try on their fourth costumes (each). Neither of them could decide who they wanted to be, and while it wouldn't have been a problem for normal teenagers, none of them were normal. Grace and Gretel both were worried about offending someone in the town. Originally, the pair had wanted to go as the Evil Queen and Snow White, respectively.

Then Wendy had pointed out that might not be the best idea. Reluctantly, Grace and Gretel agreed, and returned the pretty dresses to the racks.

Since then, the girls had been through a myriad of costumes- they thought Cinderella wouldn't mind if they attended the dance as her, and they knew Belle wouldn't. However, they were pretty sure Rumplestiltskin would mind if someone went as his wife, and no one wanted to be on his bad side.

Finally, Wendy picked out two costumes herself, and tossed them to her friends. She was fairly certain she had solved their dilemma.

"Here!" she said to Grace, "You can be Alice. Didn't your father know her?" At least, Wendy thought Jefferson- better known as the Mad Hatter -would know Alice.

Grace considered, "Yeah. He said she was a great lady. I never met her though." She looked a little wistful.

"And she's not in Storybrooke. Perfect. Try it on!" Wendy commanded with a grin.

Obligingly, Grace took the short blue dress and disappeared into the dressing room.

"What about me?" Gretel inquired, sounding a little jealous.

"Hmm..." Wendy said, "I think you should go as the Red Queen." She gingerly handed over an equally short red frock to a shocked Gretel.

Gretel looked up and down at the dress and back to Wendy, "You think I should go as the Queen of Hearts? Cora? Regina's psychotic mother!?" horrified, she added, "How is that any better than going as Regina?" It wasn't better- actually, it was worse. Regina would definitely be offended by that particular costume, and Gretel had no desire to upset the former Evil Queen either.

"No," Wendy pursed her lips, "If you read 'Alice in Wonderland' and 'Through the Looking-Glass' in English last week- like you were supposed to -you would know that the Red Queen and the Queen of Hearts are two separate characters. As far as I know, the Red Queen's not in Storybrooke either. Come on, Gretel! The red would look so pretty on you! And you can both keep with the villain/heroine theme you wanted."

Gretel looked doubtful, but obediently went into the dressing room as well. A few minutes later, the two girls emerged. First, they turned to each other, and started squealing. Then they looked at Wendy, absolutely ecstatic.

"Oh my God, Gwen! These are perfect!" Grace gushed. She fingered the white apron on the front of her gown, playing with the lace pattern.

"We look amazing!" Gretel enthused, spinning around in the dress. Her red petticoat flew into the air around her.

"You both look beautiful," Wendy agreed, "Truly." The blue showed off Grace's fair blonde hair, and the red set off Gretel's pale skin tone.

Abruptly noticing that Wendy herself had no costume, Gretel interjected, "Wait, where's yours?"

"Oh," Wendy tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "I haven't really found one I like, and the shop's almost closing, so-" She gestured weakly to the clock behind her. Honestly, she'd gotten so taken up in finding the other girls costumes and giving them critique that she really hadn't even thought to look for herself. She didn't mind too much, though, as she was - much to her surprise -having a lot of fun.

Grace frowned, "Okay, well, we're going to pay, but we need to come back on Thursday. We need to make sure you get a great costume, too."

"Of course," Wendy smiled and squeezed Grace's hand, "Also...thank you for taking me out tonight. You were right. I really did need the distraction." That was a bit of an understatement, but it didn't change the fact that Wendy truly was grateful for Grace's idea.

"What are friends for?" Grace smiled back at her. Then, she ran to the cashier, who had just announced that if Grace didn't pay right now, she wouldn't be getting her costume at all tonight.

Despite herself, and despite everything that had happened, Wendy couldn't help but laugh.

Was this what normal life was like?

When Wendy returned home, she was smiling. Even though she originally hadn't wanted to go out with the girls, she had to admit she had fun. For the first time, she'd actually felt like Gwen- Gwen, the sixteen year old who was happy in Storybrooke. That Gwen would definitely go Halloween costume shopping with her friends. That Gwen would end up picking out the perfect costumes for them. That Gwen would be seriously considering texting Prince Ferdinand, who in this world, had gone by Fred for a while. He was handsome, chivalrous, intelligent, and according to Grace (who knew all the school gossip), he had a raging crush on her.

Maybe she did want a date for the dance after all.

Still happy, she reached for the brand new diary that Dr. Hopper had given her- the same diary that even earlier that day, she hadn't felt ready to open. She flipped to the first page, pen poised, and ready to write her very first entry as Gwen. Then the pen clattered to the floor, and she clapped both her hands over her mouth.

The page wasn't blank.

Written in scratchy, angular writing, were two words:

Hello, Angel.

Author's Note:

Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think!

~ladykikyo1792