Ana
Arriving at my in-laws home in Bellevue with Arielle I still don't know what to think, because it isn't like Taylor to request a meeting with the entire Grey family. Still, I know and trust Taylor, so I have decided to attend this meeting, even though at this point I would love to erase every memory of the man I thought to be the love of my life from my life.
Arriving, Grace is all over Arielle and I just sit down and let her have some time with her grandmother. As much as I want to start over, I know that Christian will always be a part of my life because of our daughter and the love I have for his family.
In Carrick's office, I see that Elliot and Mia have already arrived and especially Elliot looks like he does not want to be here.
„Thank you, everyone, for agreeing to meet with me here. I'm going to be very frank with all of you. There is a situation involving Mr. Grey and I'm still not sure what to make of it or how to handle this, which is why I am here to ask for your help." He says and Elliot gets up to leave.
„Elliot please." Jason says and Elliot spins around.
„No, absolutely not, Jason. I love my brother, I really do, but he basically handed his new born daughter over to a pedophile. I have three young children of my own and I'll be damned if they get into danger because my brother still can't see that his so called friend is a pedophile." Elliot says and he looks as heartbroken as I feel.
„I'm not sure he had a choice." Jason says and I frown.
„What are you talking about?"
„Barney was able to retrieve the last few seconds of the security footage before the system was switched off and erased. It was Mr. Grey who did that." He says and I get up too.
„Ana, please hear me out."
„Why? He let her in and now we have proof of that. I just can't do this anymore Jason... everything he says is a lie... there is nothing left for me to love or believe in." I tell him as my tears start again and Elliot wraps his arm around me.
„I understand that and I was ready to quit when I saw it, however, Mr. Grey does not recall ever doing that."
„Oh my god, don't you see, he is lying!" I sob.
„I thought so too, but then I talked to Ros and his new shrink. Ana, I have been witness to his doctor arriving and going into Christian's study with him for every of the ten appointments they had. His doctor told me that Christian has not said a single word to him and when I asked Christian about it, he didn't know what I was talking about. He doesn't even know who his new shrink is." He says and I blink.
„What... I don't understand."
„Neither do I, Ana. In addition, Ros told me that the boss told her he was thinking about starting a family after your honeymoon... and there is money missing from GEH it was transferred into an account on Kayman Islands and authorized by Christian, which he also doesn't remember. Something isn't right, Ana and I'm asking you... all of you to help me get to the bottom of it."
„Why, so he can lie to me again... I can't Jason. He is just trying to play everyone again."
„He has admitted himself into the private clinic of his shrink, Ana. It's a closed psychiatric ward the only approved visitors are his family members. He doesn't have a phone or any means to communicate with everyone unless each of you chooses to visit him. I have been trying to find a link between Flynn and Elena Lincoln but wasn't able to find one, still, I'm sure there has to be a connection. They did something to him... I just know it." He says and I just feel tired and exhausted, I have tried to find any possible excuse to somehow save my marriage, but the sad truth is that I don't even know the man I have married.
„Oh my god." Grace suddenly gasps.
„What is it, darling." Carrick asks her.
„When Christian dropped out of college and told me he was looking into finding a new shrink... it was Elena who introduced me to John. She said they met at the club, at the time I didn't doubt it and recommended him to Christian, but come to think of it. John didn't join the club until after he married Rhion." Grace says.
„Are you sure, Mrs. Grey?" Jason asks.
„Yes, I'm sure." and suddenly a bitter thought comes to my mind.
„Maybe it wasn't the kind of club Grace was thinking of at the time." I say and everyone looks at me.
„What do you mean, sweetheart?" Carrick asks.
„Elena Lincoln didn't just seduce Christian as some kind of a Mrs. Robinson... Elena introduced him to the BDSM lifestyle... he was her submissive until he decided to become a Dominant, which he was at the time we met... he is no longer in the lifestyle because I wasn't into it... but there are BDSM clubs in this city... every city and Christian himself told me that he was able to hide the fact that he was still seeing her by meeting her a BDSM club they are both members of. Maybe that is the club she met John at and maybe that is also why she wanted him to be Christian's shrink." I explain, leaving everyone but Jason shocked.
„BDSM but isn't that... I mean did he ever hit you?" Mia asks ashen faced.
„In the early beginning of our relationship Christian didn't want me to be his girlfriend. He wanted me to sign a contract to become his submissive. At one point of us trying to figure out a way to be together I asked him to show me how bad it could possibly get in terms of punishment. He hit me with a belt six times and I left him after that. When we reconciled we agreed on no punishments and to try for a normal relationship instead." I reply.
„This just keeps getting better." Elliot mutters under his breath.
„Elliot please, what he did wasn't wrong. It was all he ever knew. Elena Lincoln robbed him of the chance to develop normal relationships and within the BDSM community what he did is not uncommon... there are both men and women who want to be punished, accept it as part of the deal or even find it to be pleasurable. There is nothing wrong with the lifestyle if practiced in a safe and sane environment. The only thing wrong was for Elena Lincoln to introduce a clearly traumatized boy who needed to be loved and treasured to it and in doing so she denied him to find out that all he ever needed was to open up to being loved." I say and just thinking about makes me cry again, not for me, but for the boy my husband once was.
„She is right." Taylor says and turns to me. „Ana, I'm going to ask you for something, because I truly believe there is no one else who will be able to do it, but I need you on board with this. Do you think you can wait to finalize the divorce just a bit longer. Christian has given up on himself, all the order in his life... control over himself... he lost that when he saw the tape and realized that he had been seeing a new shrink and couldn't remember it. Ros is taking over GEH... so that part is covered... but I don't see how Christian will be able to heal without you... if you can't find it in you to help him for the man he is now... maybe you can do it for the boy you just mentioned, the boy who just needed to be loved in order to heal." He says and I start to pace.
This is just too much... I don't even understand any of this... is he mentally ill... has he been brainwashed... is this all just another lie... a way to lure me back in... but I know in this moment that I will never be able to truly move on and find happiness again if I don't get to the bottom of this.
„Grace, can you watch Arielle for a few hours?"
„Of course, darling."
„Thank you. Jason, take me to Christian." I say and when he smiles I hold one hand up.
„I'm not doing this for him, I'm doing it to myself. Because I need to find out what is going with Christian before I can divorce him. If he is still lying, there is no way back, but if Elena Lincoln did... I don't know... something to him to turn him into this horrible liar I will destroy her." I let him know and we leave Bellevue.
After a one hour drive, we arrive at the private facility that is housed on the outskirts of Seattle and I get a visitors pass after my purse has been checked and it was confirmed that I'm on the approved visitor's list.
„Your husband's room is over here ma'am. The doctor has also requested to talk to you after you have seen your husband. For now, you can only see your husband for fifteen minutes. I will get you once your visit is over." She says and opens the door.
„You have a visitor, Mr. Grey." She says and turns to me.
„He doesn't speak... you may be luckier." She explains with a sympathetic smile and I step into the room. Christian is sitting at the table scribbling something onto a sticky note and I see that one wall is covered in them, so I step closer and see that every note has a date, time and activity on it. It's every minute of the day starting with the time he got up until he went to sleep at night like he is documenting everything he is doing.
„Christian?" I say, but he is not looking up and instead is making more notes always checking the clock on the wall, with a slight look of annoyance shown by the wrinkles between his brows.
„Christian, please look at me." I say quietly, but he is still not acknowledging my presence and his scowl deepens when the clock seems to get stuck for a few seconds until the second arm continues to move. I look at my digital wrist watch, take it off and place it next to his hand. He looks at it for a moment and then places it in his line of vision and continues with his notes.
„Christian... please, say something... what happened to you? Please." I beg and finally, he looks at me, but he still isn't talking and there is nothing I can read from his eyes and then he looks away again, completely ignoring me again until the nurse comes in to tell me that my visiting time is over.
„I gave him my watch... can he keep it?" I ask and the nurse nods.
„I'll be back tomorrow, Christian." I say but he seems to be in his own world, so I leave and when the nurse closes the door I lean against the wall fighting tears.
„It's alright, dear. He'll get better. Dr. Harper is a great psychiatrist, your husband is in good hands." She says and I nod and follow her to the office of Dr. Harper.
„Mrs. Grey, it's good to finally meet you." He says and we shake hands. He is a tall man in his mid-forties, with short black hair that shows first hints of white.
„Please have a seat." He says and motions to one of the chairs in front of his desk.
„I take it you have seen your husband?" He asks and I can no longer hold back my tears, so he pushes a box of Kleenex within my reach.
„Thank you, yes, I have just visited Christian... I don't understand. He didn't even acknowledge me... he kept scribbling notes and I just don't understand what happened to him?" I sob.
„To be very honest with you, your husband is one of the more challenging cases I ever had. He asked me to become his doctor, but from our first session on he has never spoken to me. I kept coming to see him because his behavior was very odd. Almost as if he was conditioned to behave a certain way. Right now, all I can do is make an educated guess. Your husband has been undergoing some very severe emotional stress... selective mutism is a way of self-preservation."
„He has done it before."
„He did?" Dr. Harper asked.
„Yes, as a small boy... his birth mother died... there was a lot of horrible abuse in his early years... when he was adopted at the age of four he didn't speak until his little sister was adopted two years later. Haven't you seen this in his files?"
„I did not get your husband's files. You see, his previous psychiatrist is not very forthcoming and has yet to sent me the files he has on your husband."
„Do you think my husband is mentally ill?"
„I cannot completely rule it out, but to me, his behavior seems more to be caused by outside forces than for it to stem from an internal issue. Still, if it is true that your husband has coped by choosing selective mutism before there also seems to be a lot of unprocessed trauma in his past we will need to discuss and work on once the time has come."
„Can I see him again?"
„Yes, I recommend it... we have to find a way to bring him out of his shell so to speak."
As I leave the facility I'm fighting a losing battle with my temper.
„Bellevue, Ana?"
„No, John's office." I say darkly.
„Ana, I don't believe this is a wise decision."
„I just witnessed my husband sitting in a nut house not even realizing that I'm there, do not tell me what is wise!" I snap and he nods and drives to the city where he follows me into the office of Flynn.
„Mrs. Grey, it's good to see you." His secretary says when she sees me.
„Hello Natalie, I need to see John, it's urgent."
„He just finished up his last appointment, I let him know you are here, please have seat." She says and waves me through and I step into John's office.
„Anastasia, how lovely to see you." He says with a big smile and I ball my hands up fists.
„I want my husband's files now!" I hiss at him.
„You are upset, why don't you have a seat."
„John, I do not wish to sit, what I want is for you to hand over my husband's files so I can hand them over to Dr. Harper, my husband's current psychiatrist."
„I cannot do that, Anastasia. Patient confidentiality prevents me from giving you any files I may have on Christian." He says still smiling and I want to punch him.
„Fine, then have them transferred to Dr. Harper directly, now."
„I will need Christian's request to do that." He says smugly and I lose it.
„Christian doesn't even speak right now, you have done shit to help him in over a decade, hell for all I know you have made his situation worse. Do you understand, you are no longer his therapist, so you no longer have a right to keep those files."
„As I said, I will have to hear that from Christian." He insists.
„John, let me make one thing clear, I am not the shy, naive girl I was when we first met, I can smell bullshit from a mile away and I'm not taking any of it ever again. So, here's what is going to happen either you have the files transferred to Dr. Harper within the next five minutes or I will have Taylor come in and sit with you, while I will go to court to visit my good friend judge Palmer who will be delighted to repay me one of the many favors I have done her in the past and give me a court order for you to hand over those files. So, what's it going to be, John?"
„I'm impressed, Anastasia. Christian clearly underestimated you when you first met. You are truly not submissive but Dominant." He says and I smirk.
„Takes one to know one, right John?" I ask sarcastically and just for a fragment of a second, I see alarm in his eyes.
„Fine, we won't need to get the court involved." He says moves to his desk and presses the speaker.
„Natalie, please get the complete files of Christian Grey and hand them over to Mrs. Grey."
„Of course, Dr. Flynn." She answers and I walk to the door but stop right before I open it.
„Oh and John, when you talk to Elena the next time, which I assume will be as soon as I have left, please, do tell her that I'm coming for her." I say and watch as he swallows hard and gives me a grim look. Once I have signed the paperwork to get Christian's files I give them to Taylor and ask him to give them to Dr. Harper as soon as he has dropped me off at Bellevue.
Once there everyone is looking at me.
„What happened, Ana?" Carrick ask.
„Carrick, please stop the divorce process... I don't know what exactly happened to Christian, but you can be sure that everyone involved will have hell to pay for it!" I say and take Arielle from Grace.
„Don't worry, princess, we'll get your daddy back... and if I have to kill the evil witch myself. Mommy will make sure that our fairy tale ends with a happily ever after."
Totally unrelated A/N, but I recently came across a book Trilogy that has me totally obsessed, it's the Danika and Tristan Saga by R. K. Lilley, it's heartbreaking, very well written and absolutely worth reading, I read all three books in one weekend. The reading order is Bad Things, Rock Bottom, and Lovely Trigger. A fair warning it deals with subjects such as drug and alcohol abuse, miscarriage and rape, but the characters are just so amazingly well written that even with the sometimes very dark topics you have no choice but to fall in love with them... and it ties in with the Up in the Air trilogy of the author, which is also good but heavier on the BDSM side. So, if you are looking for a good read, you should check this trilogy out :)