Remember when I said that I brought Leila into this story for a reason and that she is not one of the bad guys... well, here's the chapter that explains her part in the story...
Ana
„I'll be back tomorrow." I say and leave, but Christian doesn't acknowledge me. It has been the same for the past seven days. He has completely shut the world out, just focussing on his notes and it breaks my heart. Not just for him, but for all of us. Grace has taken it the hardest. I have never seen her lose her composure the way she did after visiting Christian for the first time. She was crying so hard, blaming herself for not realizing what was happening, for not talking to him.
It was so heart breaking, but it also brought all of us closer. Because at least now we as a union are working on finding out what has happened to Christian. It's not easy though because we still weren't able put the pieces together. Which is why I'm flying out to New York tonight. Christian had never been in contact with any of his other subs, only Leila. Maybe there is a reason for it and maybe by me going to see her, I will be able to find out more.
Once I have left for the airport I start to feel sick. I need rest myself, but knowing that my husband is in a mental institution and as of now can't be helped because he is not talking or allowing anyone in, I have to be the strong one.
It doesn't mean that getting him to heal and finding out what has happened is going to be a magic cure for our marriage, but I owe it to myself to try. If there is still even the tiniest bit of the man I love left, I owe it to him to fight for him and us.
In New York, I have Luke with me, because I asked Taylor to stay in Seattle and make sure Arielle is watched while staying with her grandparents. I trust them with all my heart, but I have no idea what Elena will try now that she knows we are on to her. I have even given the entire security the ok to wear firearms. If Elena tries to hurt my child, she is dead and I will not live with any regrets because the world will be a better place without her.
„It's here Ana." Luke says and I look at the small gallery. The paintings I can see from the outside look nice... a bit too modern for my liking, but Leila clearly has talent, I have to give her that much.
„Well, I guess it's now or never." I say and we walk inside.
For a moment I look around and then I hear footsteps and there she is, Leila Williams, she still looks beautiful, but she also looks healthy now.
„Mrs. Grey?" She asks clearly startle by me being here.
„Hello, Leila. We need to talk."
„Is Mr. Grey here too?"
„No, he isn't well right now." I say I won't go into more detail than I really have to because it is none of her business.
„Oh... I didn't know."
„Look, I'm not here to chit chat... I'm here because I need answers. You know Elena Lincoln?
" I ask and her expression turns weary.
„Yes." She replies after a moment.
„Good, now what is the connection between Elena Lincoln and John Flynn."
„You need to leave." She suddenly says and I know I just hit a nerve with her.
„No, I'm not leaving. You are going to tell me what their connection is."
„Listen to me, Mrs. Grey, you don't want to get involved in this, you'll be in over your head. You have no idea who you are messing with."
„Is this a threat?" I ask getting pissed.
„No, it's a warning meant for your best. I know you have no reason to trust me or believe anything that I'm saying, but believe me, you don't want to get involved. Just leave them be."
„I can't... listen, I know we don't know each other, but we have one thing in common, we both care for Christian and right now he needs help and in order to help him I need to know what the connection between Flynn and Elena is."
I watch as she starts to pace and rubs her face in an obviously nervous way.
„Can he be trusted?" She asks and points to Luke.
„Yes, Luke has been my CPO for six years now. He is my Taylor." I add so she will understand.
„Club Rouge." She says.
„Is that the club Christian and Elena are members of?"
„Yes, but Mr. Grey is not aware of what this club is really about, most members are not, unless they know what they are looking for." Leila says and I look at Luke, but he doesn't seem to understand either.
„What is that supposed to mean."
„John Flynn he caters to members of the community who have special preferences... that's how I got into the scene, he was my therapist... he said he could help me if I was willing to never tell a soul... he lied to me, he didn't help me... he made everything worse... if it wasn't for Mr. Grey I would still be caught up in Flynn's spell. After Flynn allowed me to leave his facility and I was no longer in contact with him it was like I was slowly waking up... every day I became a little more awake." Leila says and I had no idea she was a patient of John before everything went down.
„Leila, what are those special preferences?"
„Some people hide in the BDSM community and use it for their twisted preferences... John knows how to manipulate impressionable kids into this world by telling them all their problems would go away... Elena Lincoln is in it too..." She says and I feel sick to my stomach.
„How old were you when that happened?"
„Fourteen... he stole my adolescence from me and I thought he was right, that I needed it, but he was wrong and it took so long for me to see it." She says and I actually feel bad for her.
„Why didn't you report him?"
„It's not that easy. He doesn't cater to everyone... only people who can afford his services. Influential people... There was a girl who wanted out and threatened to tell everyone. I tried to warn her... she didn't listen and six weeks later she was found by the police, dead in a dumpster. Her parents were told she had overdosed. All lies, she had never even touched drugs... she was a good girl who just needed some help to fit in and John Flynn lured her into this hell and murdered her when she wanted out. You are a strong woman, Mr. Grey always admired you for it, he said you keep him grounded... but you are not strong enough to go against Flynn and Elena... they'll destroy you." She says sadly and I shake my head.
„No, they won't. I don't know what exactly they have done to Christian, but it has put me through hell and back. But I survived and came out of it a lot stronger... I'll end this. I will not allow him to lure any more children into this. Thank you, Leila."
„Please be careful, Mrs. Grey. When I was very sick, I told you that Mr. Grey is dark... I should have told you too that you are his light... and I'm sorry for what happened." She says and I smile at her and nod before I leave.
Back at Christian's apartment, I watch as Luke puts a little gadget on the table and turns it on.
„It blocks all cell phone, wi-fi and camera signals, it's a precaution in case the place has been bugged. This way we can discuss this without them being able to listen in on us until I have cleared the place." Luke says and I nod.
„Luke, if what Leila has just told us is true I want them behind bars. Put more security on them. I know they have both given the team the slip numerous times and try everything to evade our security guys, but there can be no more fuck ups. I want security on all the Grey's doubled. Put some one on my Dad and mother as well." I let him know.
„Good, what about the club?"
„We might need someone to do an inside job... you know go in undercover and find out more. If Leila is right and he is catering to Seattle's finest we cannot risk going to the police at this point, not before we have hard evidence and now get the jet ready please."
„I thought you wanted to stay over night." Luke says.
„I miss my child and I want to be there when she wakes up in the morning. Jose will understand... I just want to go home."
„Of course, I'll get right on it."
If what Leila has told us is true I know it won't be easy to get them behind bars and figure out what they have done to Christian without people finding out that Christian too had been a part of the lifestyle. Not that his involvement was anything like theirs. At least Christian only engaged with subs who were old enough to consent. Still, the media will be all over it and worse, one day Arielle will hear about it and have questions or see her father in a different light and I do not want this for her.
Back on the jet to Seattle, I go into the bedroom and remember the many hours I have spent in here with Christian. To be honest, I don't know if there is a way back for us. So much has happened and even if they have manipulated him to some extent... he still lied to me, still contacted Leila and it couldn't have all been Elena's and John's doing.
The sad truth is, he has never seen me as his equal and I guess that is the why we are where we are now. I have turned a blind eye to many behaviors of his which I should have addressed right away. Shouldn't have allowed him to take over my life, decide whom I can be friends with and whom not. At the time I thought I was compromising, but really, I was just giving up myself and my freedom bit by bit until I didn't even see it anymore. Yes, we had many, many happy times, but they came with a price and I know now that I'm not the person I have tried to be over the past five years.
I'm strong, independent and if I ever allow Christian back into my life, it has to be on my terms. Now is not the time to make this decision, because first, we have to get Christian back. Somehow pull him back from his darkness. And once that is done and we have managed to get Elena and John behind bars, I will have to talk to Christian, be honest about how I feel and let him know, that to me the only way for us to somehow become a family is to go back to the start. Before I was his wife, before the lies started and maybe in doing this, we can build a new relationship, one where we can be honest with each other, learn to trust again and be together. And if not, at least I won't have to live with any regrets.
I know I'm not to blame for the situation we have found ourselves in, but at the same, I can no longer solely blame Christian... he too is a victim in it. I don't know to what extent, but now that I know what to look for, I feel like I'm closer to getting all the answer than I have ever been.