Orochimaru's forced kiss with the lady Sannin had been cut short by a chakra scalpel pressed to his side by none other than his partner, Kabuto.
"Orochimaru, please don't make a scene of this. She obviously doesn't want to fight you, or make love to you, so why drag that out of the closet? Please, be professional..."
Orochimaru begrudgingly frowned. "Whatever. But don't think I won't get what I want from you eventually, little princess."
"Enough with the nicknames, you disgusting snake."
"No need to insult me, dearest blondie."
"I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you," Tsunade replied with a slight smirk to her features.
Kabuto sighed and walked off to continue working on the project that he and Orochimaru had begun before the blonde sannin had entered.
"Now let me tell you what I need. Look at your old friend over on the floor there." She gestured to Jiraiya. "He was injured in battle, and he's gone into a coma." She wouldn't tell him who had injured Jiraiya, as Orochimaru might be reminded of the name Naruto and seek to go after the boy and abandon whatever other sick project he was currently working on.
"And you want me to try to heal him? So I see that you admit your medical abilities are lacking, then. Oh dear, this is gold. I wish I could record you right now," Orochimaru replied, giggling softly as his features lit up in amusement.
A small blush came from Tsunade's cheeks. "I couldn't heal him because... I... I didn't have the right tools. I don't work at the hospital anymore, and... y..yes. My medical abilities were greatly damaged by our fight. You brought out Manda, remember? He didn't do much damage to me but... it was Kabuto's chakra scalpels... they messed up my insides and.. I.. I lost a significant amount of healing chakra. I can't use what I do have on him... otherwise I'll have none left to heal myself in battle. So that's why I decided to just use you." She smiled a bit at this last sentence, as if Orochimaru were just a tool she could use.
"Hmm, while I could just stand here and laugh at you for this request, I myself am interested in healing Jiraiya and seeing just how far that old guy can go. It would be amusing to fight him once more, so.. why not give it a shot? It'll be like all those times Kabuto heals, breaks, and reheals his victims just to see them fight again for his own amusement. Mhm... that would be fun. To see the one I healed die in my hands years later..." he thought half to himself and half out loud.
Tsunade shook her head a bit and rubbed her forehead. "You're sick, Orochimaru. A medical ninja, especially one as skilled as Kabuto, should not ever want to see harm come to someone. But then again, you are Orochimaru... there's a reason that name strikes fear in the hearts of Konoha citizens."
"Do me a favor and don't mention that wretched city again. Otherwise I may rethink my agreement," Orochimaru warned frustratedly.
"Tch.. didn't know you got so triggered by your hometown."
"And I didn't know you got so triggered by seeing the blood of your friend splattered on the wall!"
Tsunade narrowed her eyes. "You better not. I'll never forgive you..."
"I'm sure Sarutobi-sensei never forgave me either, but look where the poor devil is at now..." Orochimaru replied with a small giggle.
"J..just shut up and heal him..."
"Will do, milady." He made a pretend gesture as though he were tipping his fedora, which made Tsunade roll her eyes. He called out for Kabuto to assist him in taking Jiraiya's limp body into another room.
"Whoooohooooo~ dattebayo!!!!!!" Naruto exclaimed happily as he took a splash into the waterfall he was currently playing around. Kakashi was watching him from the side, straight-faced, arms crossed.
"You know, Naruto, you can't just hand me your Hokage robes and jump in the pool whenever you want. Lady Tsunade and old man Sarutobi never did such an irresponsible act..."
"What was that?" Naruto shouted from the water, standing up on his feet in the water to show off his mastery of chakra control.
"Ah.. n..never mind..." Kakashi said as he saw a small messenger hawk appear from overhead, sensing the red of the hokage robes near Kakashi and descending down to meet them. Kakashi pet the hawk as it landed on his arm and then removed the message it carried, reading it.
Urgent help needed.
Send 20 platoons to Sunagakure ASAP.
Further details enclosed.
Kakashi pulled out the second scroll that was enclosed in the first and tightly sealed, feeling he had to be back at the Hokage's office to read it, knowing it likely contained secret information. He couldn't risk having it read over his shoulder from a spy in the surrounding forest.
"Naruto, it's time to go," he ordered sternly. He wondered to himself if Danzo or Orochimaru was plotting something, somehow trying to remove even the temporary Hokage from the village with a decoy attack in the Sand. Or something of the sort...
"What... but I just started!" Naruto whined softly yet annoyingly, his face turning into a cute pout even though he'd been there for a while now.
"You've had plenty of time and you're not even training, you're just fooling around. Now get back to the Hokage's office with me before I choose someone else to take your place," Kakashi replied, his patience wearing thin. He didn't really like kids after all, and training them was just a position he'd taken to showcase and improve his own skills.
"Ahhh!!! Ok, ok, you don't have to be so pushy about it!" Naruto shouted as he quickly grabbed his clothing and struggled to get it onto his sticky, wet body.
As soon as that process of redressing was completed, Kakashi sent the messenger hawk off and began the short walk back to the city center with Naruto, carrying his Hokage robes limp in his hand.