The Morning Aftermath

I couldn't sleep that night, I couldn't quite comprehend what exactly happened that night, and trying to get some shut eye was constantly interrupted by the memory of Blair purring in my ear. By 7am I wasn't sure if I had slept for a mere 2 hours or not at all, so I called Arthur and decided maybe a ride about town would at least get me a rest.

That changed once I caught Blair leaving church. I can't describe the feeling in my stomach but I felt excited, she met me with distain and I knew there was a chase to be had, which was absolutely fine by me. She was going to make me work for it, and I found a thrill in that.

Of course not all the emotions that surfaced that day were good, I felt a pinch in my chest that felt like guilt. Nate came over, I could barely look him in the eye. How was I supposed to make my best friend understand how much I care about the mess he was sucked into, when I spent the morning dropping dollars on an expensive gift for his ex, or more importantly how I enjoyed making love to her. What the hell am I doing?

Blair's birthday was a tumultuous string of ups and downs, much like my pending relationship with Blair. Serena greeted me with a gracious welcome, Blair did not. I always found it hilarious the contrast between the two best friends. Serena had a bad reputation for drinking and promiscuity but was a genuinely good, kind person. Blair had the reputation of a good girl, but was actually an evil bitch, and naturally me being me, I was determined to get the latter. I never thought of my actions that night as throwing Nate under the bus, but then again, if you were expecting this story to be about redemption, you'll be disappointed, just like Blair has no problem being the bitch, I have none being the asshole. I had to do what I had to do. Nate wanted out, Blair had a right to know and I wanted Blair. I know I had hurt her once the GG blast came through. So it was time I stepped up and reminded her that I want her to be happy, and I did whatever I could to salvage her birthday, lucky for me, my wish also happened to come true.

One week of Passion

It was fun sneaking around that week, but mostly it was just nice to feel happy. Blair and I had a week in paradise. She'd text me whenever Serena wasn't around, and if Nate had left mine, Blair would surprise me in a negligee and an overcoat. There really was a deviant under her reserved exterior. She even had the most unusual quirks like the thrill of being caught, something I too, enjoyed about her.

Cotillion; From Plot to Powerless

I was impressed with my own skills during the throw down I secretly orchestrated at Cotillion. Unfortunately Blair did not agree. Someones I couldn't fathom how she couldn't put two and two together, but remembering how Blair detested anything that came in the way of her social climbing, I guess I should have realised my inevitable fail. I guess jealousy can cloud my judgment. However that fact that I had single handedly pushed her right into Nate's arms was the real sting I needed to realise I had fallen in love with her.

It was absolute torture watching her parading around with Nate right in front of my face, and Blair had no remorse. The fact that she'd toy with me like that, I had to put a stop to it. So I resorted to what I do best, blackmail. I thought if I could threaten Blair to stay away from Nate, he would eventually grow bored of waiting around for Blair and move on. I mean after all, he had plenty other options.

Revenge is a GG blast best served cold

But just like me, Blair wouldn't fight fair... And I lost. That made my blood boil even more. I began to hate her just as much as I loved her. She even bested me at the pregnancy scandal. It was time to take the queen B down. It was time to make her feel, as bad as I feel.

The overthrow of Blair Waldorf was much anticipated by everyone she had ever manipulated and humiliated. Believe me it was a long line of protesters in this revolution. I did take some immense pleasure in being the one to finally force the queen to step down.

But losing Nate in the process stung hard. We had been friends forever and now my scheme came with a huge price to pay. I had hurt Nate in a way I never intended. Somehow watching Blair lose everything wasn't as enjoyable when it resulted in me losing everything too.

And then Blair showed up. Turning to me as her last option simply because she lost everyone. I didn't want her like that. Who did she think she is to only treat me with decency when she had no other choice. How little she thought of me made me turn red. No. I wanted to hurt her, as much as she hurt me.

All you need is, a scheme

It had been a couple months since the gang were all brought together. I admit I had missed them. But during the distance, Serena and I had become close. I don't think we really adapted to being family till later on, but she did portray a certain kindness that made me feel like she could be a good sister.

After Georgina had exploited her in many ways, I was actually thrilled that Blair wanted to go head to head with me at her side. Blair definitely could take Georgina down on her own but the fact that she came to me, meant two things. 1; she actually enjoyed spending time with me despite what she says and 2; she actually does respect me, she believes in my power and nothing brings us together like a mutual respect during a scheme.

It was time to make amends. Knowing that Blair still believed I was worthy made me believe all could be forgiven and I still have a shot.

It seemed like a possible happy ending until my father managed to get into my head.

Talking about change, responsibility, seriousness. It scared me, if I commit to Blair then I'm allowing myself to be vulnerable again. Letting Blair have that kind of power over me would result in me getting hurt and we all know I can't trust her with my heart.