Cadie
„I'm not happy about this, Cadie." My father says as I'm about to get into my car.
„I know Dad, but I love him and I can't do this anymore. I miss him, I miss the kids and just want to go home." I say and he smiles at me.
„Well, give him hell, sweetheart." He says and I smirk.
„I fully intend to. Wish me luck." I say kiss my Dad's cheek and get into my car. On my drive to Seattle, I try to think about what to say or how to make this right. For five weeks I have tried to get over Elliot, I have told myself that I deserve better, I have tried to reason with myself that he is not ready to have a relationship, that he is too old, I have tried everything just so I wouldn't have to face him, because I know that I will be miserable if the outcome of the conversation we are going to have is that we are not meant to be.
Maybe the time apart has made him realize that I really was just a distraction for him. I don't want to believe it, but it's a possibility. I just hope that's not the case and the fact that he is still stopping by at least twice a week has been sending flowers and texts and e-mails shows that he really does miss me.
When I arrive at his place it's nine in the evening and the new nanny opens the door.
„Hi, my name is Cadie, I'm the previous nanny, is Elliot home?"
„Yes, I think he is outside shooting hoops." She says and I nod walk around the house and watch him throw hoops until the ball rolls off in my direction and I catch it.
„Lost something?" I ask and he just gapes at me for a moment and then he runs over to me, lifts me up in his arms and just holds me tight.
„I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry." he murmurs into my hair and we just continue to hold each other until he looks at me and leans in to kiss me but I stop him.
„Oh, no you don't... we need to talk and we both know there won't be any talking once you kiss me." I tell him and he gives me a guilty grin.
„Ok, you are right, let's go inside, it's cold out here." He says takes my hand in his and we walk inside and sit in the living room.
„I'm so glad you are here, Cadie. I know I behaved extremely poorly towards you, but I promise I can do better."
„Well, there is not much space to get worse, so I guess that's not that hard." I reply dryly.
„I know."
„Look, Elliot, I'm really trying to understand you and I tried to give you space and make things as easy as possible for you, but I'm done with that. I'm willing to give you another chance but you cannot treat me like that again. So here are the options, A I come back as the nanny of your children and there will be nothing happening between us or B we are trying to work on having a relationship, but if you ever treat me the way you did in front of others again I'm gone. I don't enjoy getting humiliated in front of others on a daily basis and above that, if you are angry at your ex-wife don't let it out on me."
„You've noticed that." He murmurs and I smile.
„You are not that hard to read and I get that after what you've been through with her it's not that easy to move on or trust someone else not to turn out the same, but I'm not her. And moving forward you can bet your ass on the fact that every time you push me, I will push back." She said and watch a small smile creep on his face.
„I guess then I have to behave, especially since I met your Dad and your brothers. Damn, your Dad has one hell of a punch." He says and my mouth drops open.
„He hit you?"
„Yup, your brother pulled me outside and he asked what was wrong, a second later I found myself on my ass on the ground and kindly helped me to my feet before he knocked me to my ass again." He says and smirks.
„That's not funny, Elliot... Jesus... and which of my brothers took you outside?"
„The one with the glasses."
„Oh my god, they must have been so pissed, Connor is the most reasonable of my older brothers." I mutter.
„Well, I hope when I'm in my sixties I too will be fit enough to knock every stupid fucker who hurts my girls to his ass."
„Or you could talk to them!"
„Eventually but first I hurt them." He says and I hold my hands up in defeat, that's the one thing about men I will never get.
„Why did you stop by at my parent's place all the time?"
„I was hoping you would talk to me, give me the chance to explain everything to you so that I could take you home." He says and I take his hands in mine.
„Ok, I'm listening now."
„When I met Kate, she was perfect, she was funny and sexy and bright and just everything I wanted my wife to be. So, I proposed and we got married, I built this house for us and things looked great for a while until slowly but surely everything changed. She got moody and withdrawn, so I gave her more of my time and attention, worked harder to make more money and give her the things she loved, I did all I could possibly think of but all she did was to complain and cheat on me and be awful as soon as no one was around, but I just couldn't stop because I didn't want to see that the girl she was before we got married wasn't her, the real Kate was the awful person I had to live with and didn't want to leave because I felt bad for the kids. When shit went down... I promised myself to never ever fall for a woman who seems too perfect to be true and you... you are just that, Cadie. I mean, you love my kids even though they are not yours, you take care of everything, you make my life so fucking easy and on top of all of that, you love me. I just couldn't believe it's true, I needed to tell myself that it's not real so I wouldn't end up hurt again... and with that I hurt myself, because I only realized how much you mean to me after I had driven you away." he says and I can see in his eyes that he is scared of my reaction to this.
„Is there anything I can do to make this better for you?" I finally ask.
„What?"
„I understand where you are coming from and have seen some of the things that happened here, so I get that you are not easily going to trust anyone, so... is there anything I can do to make this easier for you?"
„Why are you so amazing?"
„I'm not, I just had five weeks to think everything through. I want us to work, Elliot. I have missed you and the kids so much, so do you think we can try this one more time, for real this time?" I ask and he pulls me in his lap.
„There is nothing that would make me more happy... of course, only if you can live with the fact that according to your Dad I'm an old man." He says.
„I guess that is ok and if he brings it up I can always say it's a Daddy kink." I smirk
„So, you will move in again?" He asks hopeful.
„Good thing all my stuff is outside in my car, right?" I smile and this time I don't stop him from kissing me.
„Oh, so you were planning on us getting back together all along." He grins and runs his nose against mine.
„A girl can hope, right?"
„Yes." He says and looks serious all of a sudden.
„What is wrong?"
„When Erin, the new nanny, started she told me that cooking, doing the laundry and cleaning is not part of her job, because it wasn't requested in the profile Kate gave to the agency that brought you to us. Which means one, I didn't pay you for everything you have done here and two, you never got any money to buy groceries... why did you never tell me that?" He asks and I shrug.
„Did you pay everything with your income?" He asks.
„Yes, I mean when I first started your ex had a housekeeper who was lazy as hell and would cook stuff your ex liked, but Ava and Jamie didn't want to touch. So, I started to cook for them and when I noticed that you preferred what I was cooking I just made sure to make a bit more. As for doing the laundry, your ex had her clothes brought to a dry cleaner and the housekeeper was doing one load of laundry a week, which is ridiculous with three kids, so I started to do their laundry and since yours was just laying around I put it in too. When we moved back here you didn't hire a new housekeeper, so I just took over and I didn't bring it up because I don't mind taking care of everything, I like to keep myself busy because I get easily bored and why wouldn't I use my money to buy groceries."
„Because that's your money to pay your bills and buy you stuff you like."
„But everything I like can't be bought with money. I like hanging out with the kids and spending time alone with you. The only thing I would love to get I wasn't sure you would like."
„What is it?"
„A dog and a cat. It's great for kids to grow up with animals to show them how to be responsible for another living being."
„We could go to a shelter this weekend. I always wanted a dog but Kate wasn't having it, but are sure a dog will get along with a cat?"
„Most do just fine..."
„Ok, but still you'll get a credit card from me from now on to pay for everything you'll buy for the kids and us or yourself. I'm not going to hire you as nanny again, you are my girlfriend, but I still want to take care of you."
„You don't have to."
„Yes, I do, Cadie. Call me old-fashioned, but I'm the man here, so I'm taking care of my family and I'm going to hire a housekeeper."
„No, please, I will be so bored if I don't have anything to do all day, I like to take care of everyone... just since we are on the topic, I love this house it's amazing, but those windows are a bitch." I get out and he laughs.
„Why, they are essential to bring light into each corner of the open living space." He says.
„I get that, but have you ever cleaned them?"
„No, why?"
„Well, this glass wall goes all the way up from the floor to the roof and I'm only 5'1 you do the math." I pout.
„So, you wouldn't mind if I get someone to clean them every other week?"
„No, hire away." I grin and kiss him.
„Are we good?" He asks and cups my face in his hands.
„We are, but I mean it, Elliot, don't ever make me feel like crap around your family and friends."
„I won't, I swear, besides, they all love you and have given me hell for my behavior. Especially, my brother and sister in law and my parents."
„Really, I was sure your brother doesn't like me, but maybe he just looks like that in general."
„Like what?" He asks clearly amused.
„I can't quite describe it, but every time he looks at me I feel like I just had been ordered to the principal's office." I reply and he laughs.
„Yeah, he has that look perfected, but believe me, he has the biggest heart. Besides, what am I supposed to say, you have twelve brothers."
„They'll learn to love you, after all they all just want me to be happy and I'm happy with you."
„That's good... come, it's getting late we'll get your stuff and then I might know a trick or two to make you even more happy." He says with a wink and I laugh when I get up and he takes the two suitcases with my stuff.
„Wait where are you going, my room is over there." I say confused when he starts to walk up the stairs.
„Sweetheart, back there is the nanny's room, my girlfriend stays with me." He says and I smile at him, before we had into his bedroom and find something better to do than to unpack my bags...