AN: I'm just going to go ahead and post this now since it's Thanksgiving and I'm not even going to pretend that I'm going to proofread 15,000 words all over again tomorrow morning. Besides, it's probably already Friday where a lot of y'all live, anyway, so just consider this a Black Friday early bird special (which is a term that will mean nothing to at least some of you, which isn't a bad thing, really). I'm sorry if it's a bit rough, but I'm in full holiday mode and am pleasantly surprised I proofed this as much as I did-so if there are any stupid mistakes in here, I blame the turkey. I know this is long, but all of the chapters are going to be long from here on out since there is still so much to cover and I'm soooo ready for a break. I hope you enjoy this last bit of mountaintop convalescence; I know our OTP will. (Well, except for the angst. What can I say? I'm contractually obligated to write it.) Many thanks to Jane Dela Rosa (or pinayatsunshinestate for those who keep up with the translators) for reminding me that our poor babies must be starving; remedying this situation was enjoyable for me and will hopefully be so for y'all as well.
Xiao Ce strolled up to the barracks, giving the Xiulis standing guard over Qiao Qiao his foxiest grin. They bowed to him stiffly, obviously torn between not wanting to allow him to disturb their beloved general and not wanting to insult a visiting crown prince. He gave them points for brains and strode through the door and into Qiao Qiao's borrowed chamber beyond the entrance.
As he expected, Yuwen Yue and Qiao Qiao were still in bed together but were quietly talking rather than sleeping. Xiao Ce had suspected that both of them had been faking their sudden bout of uncontrollable tiredness, but the results had been so entertaining to observe that he hadn't minded the subterfuge. Seeing Xiang put in his place had been most gratifying, and he was glad that he'd been there to see it happen.
A man like Prince Xiang needs a good humbling every now and then in order to remain an effective leader, Xiao Ce reflected as he officially made his presence known and the couple finally looked up at him.
Not that the prince believed for a moment that Yuwen Yue and Qiao Qiao hadn't identified his footsteps well before he'd reached the barracks; the two of them together were way too mischievous for their own good. He felt a momentary pang in his chest as he imagined the many ways he could've brought out that playful side in Qiao Qiao had she-
"I'm glad to see that you've both recovered from your extreme fatigue of earlier," Xiao Ce said, grinning smugly while banishing those thoughts back to where they belonged.
"A nice nap can cure almost any problem, wouldn't you agree, Xiao Ce?" Qiao Qiao asked.
"Oh, indeed, Qiao Qiao," Xiao Ce said, nodding. "Of course, I can think of a few other activities that can have certain..restorative effects on patients...as can you, I'd imagine."
"Yuwen Yue has done wonders for my health," Qiao Qiao said, looking up at the spymaster with love in her expression. He stared down impassively at her, but Xiao Ce could see the emotions playing in his eyes.
"He has, indeed, Qiao Qiao, which is why I've brought this...special medicine with me to give to you," Xiao Ce said, pulling out a small tub from inside his robes with a flourish and staring at her expectantly.
"What is that?" she dutifully asked as he'd known she would.
"I'm glad you asked, Qiao Qiao," he said, taking off the lid of the little tub with exaggerated motions and running his finger across the top of its contents. "This, Qiao Qiao, is the secret to getting rid of those uncomfortable chapped lips for good."
Xiao Ce ran his finger provocatively over his lips, demonstrating the method of application for Qiao Qiao.
"Just a single application will help to moisten your lips after a lengthy bout of illness...or other pursuits, of course."
"Of course," Qiao Qiao said.
"The women in my harem frequently suffer from chapped lips-"
"I'll bet they do," Qiao Qiao muttered. Xiao Ce ignored her.
"-so I make sure that they each have a tub of this miraculous lip balm on them at all times. After all, they never know when they might end up in a situation that will result in chapped lips."
"I'm sure that's a constant danger around you, Xiao Ce," she said, smiling and shaking her head.
"Oh, it is, Qiao Qiao," he said, grinning wolfishly. "It most certainly is. And chapped lips can be such a turn-off, wouldn't you agree, Yuwen Yue?"
"I hadn't noticed," the spymaster replied.
"Of course, when you're dying of thirst, chapped lips are the least of your worries when you're finally allowed to drink."
"Just so," Yuwen Yue agreed, inclining his head.
Qiao Qiao looked up at Yuwen Yue and asked, "Are you thirsty? I could have He Xiao bring you something to drink, too."
"I don't think Yuwen Yue is thirsty for anything that He Xiao can give him," Xiao Ce said, grinning.
"He Xiao was good enough to lend Xing'er the use of his bed, which has helped me to slake my thirst quite a bit."
"Has it, Yuwen Yue?" Xiao Ce said, widening his eyes. "Or has it simply made you thirsty for more?"
The spymaster scowled at him, and Xiao Ce smirked back, knowing he'd won the round.
"At least I have the cup firmly within my grasp," Yuwen Yue said placidly, regaining his mask.
Xiao Ce hid his inner reaction to the hit, acknowledging that he was likely never going to win a verbal battle of wits with Yuwen Yue.
"Why are we talking about cups?" Qiao Qiao asked plaintively.
"I agree that we should move on, Qiao Qiao," Xiao Ce said. "So here's your tub of fabulous lip balm; you should apply it frequently—especially whenever you're going to be around Yuwen Yue in private. I have a feeling being around his dry nature will cause you frequent lip-chapping in the future."
"But how could he be dry if he has so much water...to..." Qiao Qiao trailed off and flushed in a quite becoming way as she finally figured out what their conversation about cups and water had meant.
"So you see why you'll need this lip balm, Qiao Qiao?"
"Because Yuwen Yue is going to be drinking so much water that it's going to make both of our lips dry?" she responded, widening her eyes in innocence.
"Exactly, Qiao Qiao," Xiao Ce said. His grin widened as he heard a tell-tale shuffling outside the door that indicated the awkward shambling away of the guards outside.
Mission accomplished.
"Now that your friends have finally given up on this conversation, I can tell you the real reason I came here."
Neither one tried to deny the eavesdropping ways of the Xiulis nor encouraged him to continue.
"As I was leaving last night, I just so happened to run into a somewhat untrustworthy-looking fellow dressed in black who seemed interested in paying you a visit, Qiao Qiao. You are, it appears, quite popular with the men."
"So I've noticed," Yuwen Yue muttered.
"Yuwen Yue! It's not my fault. I didn't ask for any of these idiots to sneak in here—including you."
"Oh? Should I leave, then?"
"Of course not. It's so cold and uncomfortable here that you have to keep me warm and prop me up. Besides, you don't have the strength to walk back down the mountain yet. You have to stay with me."
Qiao Qiao's breath caught on the last part, and she looked up at Yuwen Yue with wide, anguished eyes. To Xiao Ce's surprise, Yuwen Yue's face was also open and emotional as he looked down at Qiao Qiao with his heart in his gaze.
"I'll stay with you for life," he said softly, wrapping his arms around Qiao Qiao and seeming to forget that Xiao Ce was even in the room.
"As I was saying," Xiao Ce said, "I found this fellow sneaking around camp and convinced him that he would have much more fun coming with me than carrying out whatever plans he'd made. He seemed quite cooperative and allowed me to...secure him appropriately. I took him back to my camp, and he became quite talkative...eventually. He revealed that he had only been ordered to observe you, Qiao Qiao, but that he'd been instructed to do quite a bit more to Miss Chong."
"Did he tell you who his master is?" Qiao Qiao asked.
"Of course," Xiao Ce said. "As I mentioned, he was quite loquacious once he overcame his initial shyness. I have quite a way with such people, it seems. Anyway, he eventually shared with me that his master was...oh, let's just say that his master has a passion for boating and fine wine."
Qiao Qiao's intake of breath and sudden paling told him that she'd taken his meaning.
"I see that you recognize our mutual friend, Qiao Qiao. Do you know why he would send someone after you?"
Qiao Qiao looked up at Yuwen Yue; the two of them seemed to be having a conversation with just their eyes. Finally, Yuwen Yue reluctantly nodded and Qiao Qiao turned her gaze on Xiao Ce instead.
"He murdered my mother," she said softly, causing his eyes to widen. "My memories of the time right before my injury are still jumbled, but Xia Chong came by earlier and told me about how my mother gave her a small portion of her Ice Martial Arts abilities and made her promise to try to save my life. That man tried to frame me for my mother's murder, but Xia Chong recognized him as the former leader of the Afterlife Camp. I owe her a great deal."
"We both do," Yuwen Yue said.
"So it would seem," Xiao Ce muttered, not having expected that of all explanations. "Of course, you might soon get the chance to repay her if things work out the way I expect them to."
"What do you mean, Xiao Ce?" Qiao Qiao asked.
He simply smiled at her mysteriously.
"I don't want to say anything yet, Qiao Qiao. After all, I don't want to spoil the surprise."
Qiao Qiao pouted at him, and he knew that he had to get out of there fast before he gave in to her.
"I'll keep an eye out for him in Liang," Xiao Ce said. "I'll...take care of him if I see him."
"You don't have to, Xiao Ce. After all, I know he's been useful to you in the past."
"Not so useful that I can allow him to keep sending assassins after you, Qiao Qiao. And Miss Chong, of course."
"Of course," Qiao Qiao said, smiling sadly at him.
"You know, Qiao Qiao, I once asked him to do something for me and told him where Miss Chong was in exchange. Then I decided to go rescue her myself instead of waiting for him to...dispose of her, and that turned out quite well for all of us, I think. In fact, I think I'll go and pay her a visit now—unless someone else is already with her, that is."
Xiao Ce smiled roguishly at the woman he cared so deeply for but could never have.
"Enjoy the lip balm, Qiao Qiao—and you, too, Yuwen Yue," he said loudly enough for any eavesdroppers to hear them. "I shall leave first."
Both Yuwen Yue and Qiao Qiao gave him hilariously clumsy bows from bed as their eyes twinkled madly. How he envied them that closeness, that ability to take on the world together.
Maybe I underestimated Yuwen Yue, he thought as he walked out of the barracks and headed towards the infirmary. Before today, I never would've thought him capable of sneaking into Qiao Qiao's bed or playing such a great joke on the three of us earlier today. Maybe he's not such a stick-in-the-mud after all—at least not where Qiao Qiao is concerned.
Xiao Ce's steps slowed as he approached the infirmary, but he saw He Xiao walk inside and sped back up again. If he wasn't mistaken, Miss Chong was likely about to be escorted down the mountain by the man who would become her husband in due time.
And I'm rarely mistaken in regards to women…
Xia Chong was not surprised to see He Xiao stride into the infirmary given that he'd told her that he'd be back to escort her down the mountain in the patient wagon since she'd recently been discharged. She figured that the name "patient wagon" might be a misnomer since she assumed that most who rode in it were not doing so patiently. She knew that she was ready to get away from this frigid place full of bad memories, and she didn't know of anyone else up here who didn't share those sentiments.
Except, perhaps, for Yuwen Yue, and he has his own personal heat source to keep him warm and happy.
As He Xiao walked up to her and asked her if she were ready to go, she couldn't help but feel that her own experience in the patient wagon might be more pleasant than most others.
Except, perhaps, for Yuan Song and Meng Feng, she thought, remembering just how closely the young prince had been holding the injured pugilist when they'd finally reached the end of the main pass. He'd innocently explained that the location and severity of her wound had made bracing herself in the wagon difficult, so he'd just been doing his duty to keep her from moving around on the ride down. Nobody had taken his explanation seriously, but nobody had had the heart to say anything about it, either.
Xia Chong was happy for her former Afterlife Camp associate, but she couldn't help but feel a wistful pang of jealousy towards her. After all, she was in love with a man who loved her for who she was, not who she resembled. As He Xiao escorted her towards the wagon, she knew that she couldn't say the same.
Not that I'm in love with him, her mind was quick to point out. I just happen to like him...a lot. But I'm definitely not in love.
She looked up at him and their eyes connected, and she found herself being pulled into his gaze just as she'd experienced ever since their first couple of meetings in the infirmary. Xia Chong hated the way that she reacted to him, knowing that acting on these feelings would be a mistake. After all, she knew that the only reason that he'd even noticed her was because she looked like...her.
Xia Chong scowled, making He Xiao look at her in puzzlement. She did her best to give him a reassuring smile.
"I just stepped wrong," she explained. "I'll be more careful in the future."
He Xiao seemed satisfied with her explanation, although he still watched her closely. His protectiveness was both endearing and annoying, especially in light of her doubts about his feelings for her.
Would he get that same look on his face when he looked at me if he didn't see this particular face looking back at him?
Given what they'd all been through in the past week, Xia Chong knew that allowing something as unimportant as romance to bother her was pathetic. After all, had she not recently fought for her life against a most hated rival and almost died? Had so many other people with whom she'd ridden to war not fallen to never rise again? What right did she have to be bothered that the man she...liked a lot likely only had those feelings for her because she resembled the woman he could never have?
Not that I've ever seen him look at her in an overtly romantic way before, she admitted. His intense gaze landed on her again, and she was forced to admit another truth: I've never seen him look at her the way he looks at me. Of course, if he ever did so and Yuwen Yue saw him…
Xia Chong knew that He Xiao worshiped the ground that his precious Chu Da Ren walked on, so assuming that he seemed to...like Xia Chong because of her resemblance to his favorite person was logical. Not that she blamed him for caring for Chu Qiao; after all, she felt some affection towards the woman herself because of the fact that Chu Qiao was Luo He's daughter.
Luo He showed me more love in my life in a few minutes than anyone ever had my entire life, Xia Chong thought as He Xiao walked quietly yet attentively at her side. And yet would she have given me that love—not to mention a portion of her abilities—if I'd have looked like Xiao Yu or Meng Feng, or would she have just dismissed me as another enemy assassin?
Her foot caught on a slick of ice and slipped out from underneath her. He Xiao was, of course, there to steady her, saving her from crashing to the hard, cold ground. He made sure to avoid touching her wound and held her with a gentleness completely at odds with his fighting style. The look of concern in his eyes was real—as was the presence of other emotions that showed that he cared for her welfare more than he would have were she a man.
He Xiao kept a steadying hand under her arm, and she didn't object to its presence. After all, he was performing a useful, practical service, and the last thing she wanted to do was to hurt herself even worse so she'd have to spend more time in this uncomfortable, forlorn place. No, she would be happy to put most of the events that had happened here behind her and to move on with her life in whatever capacity Xiao Ce saw fit.
After all, I do owe my master my life, she thought as the wagon came into view. Could I really turn my back on the man who rescued me just to pursue a relationship with a man I've known for a week?
The idea was ridiculous, but she couldn't deny that she was contemplating doing just that. So much of an assassin's effectiveness depended on making split-second life-and-death decisions, and Xia Chong couldn't deny how important He Xiao had become to her regardless of the shortness of their time together.
As they reached the wagon, He Xiao helped her into it, again doing his best to provide her with the support she needed without putting pressure on her side wound. She was not surprised when he climbed into the wagon and settled next to her, ignoring the few snickers that sounded from some of his men as he did so. He maintained his sense of calm dignity throughout the process of settling her in, acting as if such activities were part of his daily routine.
Xia Chong was unsure whether to be relieved or disappointed that nobody else was sharing the wagon with her and He Xiao. She wondered if, in spite of the teasing that the Xiulis had given their commander, they had decided to send down the few men who had been released from the infirmary earlier with the final wagon of the day instead of this one. Regardless of what happened later, she decided to enjoy this ride sitting next to this man she'd come to care for no matter how much doing so hurt.
"Thank you for taking me to see Chu Qiao," Xia Chong said to He Xiao as the wagon lurched and began to roll forward. "I'm glad I got to tell her about the things her mother did for me and how she saved my life."
"Chu Da Ren was most appreciative," He Xiao said. "Young Master Yue seemed slightly less so, although I didn't get the impression that he was displeased with you."
"That's one mind that I don't think anyone will ever figure out—not even Chu Qiao."
"Young Master Yue is an extraordinary man," He Xiao said. "In fact, he's probably the only man I know who's worthy of Chu Da Ren."
And the fact that both he and Chu Qiao trusted you enough to allow you to stay for our conversation speaks highly of your own character, He Xiao.
"Considering how often love and worth don't match up well, that's something we should be thankful for," she said instead.
"His Highness and I had a conversation in which we talked about love and worth—among other things. It was most...enlightening."
Xia Chong chuckled lowly. "I'll bet it was. Something tells me that His Highness doesn't approve of most of the relationships that have developed recently."
Including ours, were he to know about it—and if there actually were a relationship, of course, which there's obviously not.
He Xiao frowned. "He wanted to know about Chu Da Ren, which leads me to believe that he's going to make a move against her at some point. Not that I believe for a moment that he'll get the better of her, but..."
"But you don't want her to have to face any more problems than she's already had to face—which is both endearing and naive at the same time."
"Chu Da Ren and Young Master Yue will likely never be a normal couple," he said, shaking his head. "At least they're marrying each other so they can keep each other out of trouble."
"Can he really keep her out of trouble?" she mused. "She always seems to find it no matter what she does."
"She found us," He Xiao said, smiling fondly.
"Which just proves my point."
The wagon hit a rock and lurched, and Xia Chong couldn't prevent herself from hissing in pain as bolts of agony lanced through her side. He Xiao's good humor vanished as he carefully pulled her closer to himself, ostensibly to steady her against future disturbances. He held her loosely enough that she could've pulled away from him if she'd have wanted to; in fact, the uncertain look on his face showed that at least part of him expected her to do just that.
To her shock, she felt herself instinctively settling closer to him as if doing so were the most natural occurrence in the world. A shock of fear shot through her not dissimilar to the pain she'd experienced a few moments ago.
If any Xiulis were in the wagon with us, they'd be snickering, she thought darkly.
"So have you given any thought to what you want to do after we've resolved things here?" He Xiao asked her.
"Whatever my master asks of me," she replied flatly.
"And your master is...Xiao Ce, right?"
"Right," she confirmed. "He rescued me from the secret prison in Liang in which Xiao Yu had imprisoned me, and in exchange, I've served him ever since. I owe him my life."
"Now that, I can understand all too well," he said. "I feel much the same about Chu Da Ren."
"Are you sure?" she found herself asking.
He Xiao looked at her quizzically, obviously not understanding her meaning.
"Of course," he said. "She's saved my life numerous times and shown herself to be worthy of my loyalty and service."
"Is that all she's shown herself worthy of?" Xia Chong asked sharply.
"Well...I'm willing to lay down my life for her if necessary. I'm willing to do anything I can to keep her safe and happy."
"With Yuwen Yue?"
"Of course. Who else? She hasn't exactly been subtle about her feelings for him since the battle."
"And how does that make you feel?"
"Happy?" he said, the single sentiment coming out as a confused question. "What's this all about, Miss Chong? Have I said or done something to upset you?"
The earnestness in his expression only served to irritate her more as she felt thoroughly ashamed of herself. He was clearly not going to admit to having romantic feelings for Chu Qiao, so maybe he was telling her the truth about his lack of attraction to his general.
But that still doesn't mean that he isn't drawn to me because I look like her, she thought stubbornly.
"No, He Xiao," she said. "You've treated me well and have helped to pass the time while I was recovering. Now that I'm well, you don't have to concern yourself with me any longer."
Confused hurt showed on He Xiao's face.
"But I like being concerned about you, Miss Chong," he said. "I'd like to continue being concerned about you—if you'll let me."
"Why? Because I look like her?" she asked, tiring of this pointless charade.
"Like who?" He Xiao asked in bewilderment. "What are you...What's this about, Miss Chong? You've been hinting at something since we got into the wagon, but I'm just not understanding what you're trying to tell me. I'm sorry if I've upset you in any way or made you feel like a burden."
"Never mind," she said, wincing in pain as the wagon lurched again. "Forget I said anything. It's not important. I'll heal up fully. Xiao Ce will send me on another mission. You'll go on serving Chu Qiao and will eventually forget about the woman you spent time with that one week who looked like your beloved general."
Xia Chong had expected to feel peace at finally getting her problem out in the open, but all she felt was emptiness. She didn't even see the point in looking up at He Xiao, whose hand was still braced firmly around her for some reason.
He is, after all, a creature of duty. However he feels about me, he's not the type of man to let me suffer needlessly when he can do something to prevent it. He truly is the best of men.
"Is that what you really think?" he asked, hurt lacing his tone. "That I've only spent time with you these past few days because of some sort of...affection for Chu Da Ren?"
"Your men certainly seem to think so," she muttered. "Everyone thinks so. Everywhere I go, people do a double-take and then judge me accordingly. Even Chu Qiao's own mother did; she only showed me mercy and love because I looked like her daughter, not because of who I was. Why did Phoenix treat me? Because I looked like Chu Qiao and had the same abilities as Chu Qiao and she wanted to know my story. No matter where I go, I'm always 'that woman who looks like Chu Qiao.' Maybe Xiao Ce will send me far enough away that I'll be able to outrun that stigma."
Poor He Xiao was sitting dumbfounded, seemingly unable to formulate a coherent thought, much less any sort of argument. She felt a pang of regret for hurting such a gentle, kind man, but she steeled herself against the pity, assuming that this momentary pain would save the both of them from experiencing much worse heartache down the road.
"That's not true, Xia Chong," He Xiao finally said softly. "I can't speak for anyone else, but I've spent time with you this past week just because I enjoyed doing so—and because I appreciated how hard you fought for us against Xiao Yu. If it weren't for you, I'd be dead now-we all would."
Multiple sharp retorts fought for utterance from Xia Chong's mouth, but she held them all inside, not wanting to hurt the man sitting next to her even more than she already had. Protecting them both from making a mistake was one thing, allowing herself to lash out at him in defensive anger was something she was unwilling to do.
"I love Chu Da Ren," he continued, barely speaking above a whisper. "I do. I love her more than I love anyone—at least at the moment. She saved me, treated me like a person instead of an animal, and earned my service by putting herself on the line for me numerous times just because she felt it was the right thing to do. There's nothing I wouldn't do for her. But I'm not in love with her; I never have been, and I never will be. Besides, I could tell how things were between her and Yuwen Yue fairly quickly—much more quickly than she herself could, in fact."
"From what I understand, that's not much of an achievement," she said, giving him a small smile.
"No, it's not," He Xiao admitted. "I love her, but she and Yuwen Yue have always had a...complex relationship. I think part of her did know she had feelings for him, but that another, larger part of her was unwilling to turn her back on what she saw as her responsibilities and unable to envision a future in which they could be together."
"You mean she couldn't have predicted this particular turn of events?" she asked, gesturing all around her at the pass and Xiuli Mountain. "How short-sighted of her."
"I don't think any of us could've foreseen things happening quite this way—least of all, me," he said, tightening his hold on her slightly with a questioning look.
As if on cue, the wagon hit another rock, almost sending her sprawling into He Xiao's lap. He gave her an intense look and righted her but pulled her the rest of the way into his lap. His arms came around her, but only tight enough to shield her from the worst of the bumps.
Since I look like Chu Qiao, I might as well try out one of her tactics, she thought, slowly placing her hands over his and drawing his arms closer around her.
The action put a bit of painful pressure on her wound, but she didn't care. All of the fight had gone out of her, unable to stand up to He Xiao's gentle, earnest explanations. While she didn't know for sure that he cared for her because of who she was, she did, at least, believe him when he said he wasn't in love with Chu Qiao.
"What are you going to do now, He Xiao?" she asked, tilting her head and looking up at him.
"Whatever my master asks of me, I guess," he replied, echoing her response from earlier.
"And what do you think that will be?"
"Well, she might want me to stay in Yanbei and help with the rebuilding effort. I could be a general, either taking over some other troop, rebuilding this one, or assembling an entirely new legion."
"Is that what you want to do?"
"It would make sense," He Xiao replied. "It would benefit the most people."
"Is that what you want to do?" she repeated.
"No," He Xiao admitted after a slight pause. "It's not. I've had my fill of being an officer and would be happy to never have to attend another officer's meeting again, much less deal with the sleazy politicking and boot-licking necessary to succeed. Besides, even if we make peace with Wei, the Xiulis—and I, by extension—will always be viewed as traitors to some extent. We killed thousands of our countrymen here; I don't think we'll ever be forgiven for that-or our past sins."
Xia Chong gave a harsh laugh. "Those who don't have to fight for their own lives are often judgmental of those who do—even if the fighting is done on their behalf."
"The moral high ground is, at times, even more desirable to some than the high ground to be found on a battlefield."
"Which is why you want to avoid that type of battlefield—at least for the immediate future."
He Xiao was silent for a few moments. "Is that cowardly of me?"
"Well, that depends on what you would rather do instead."
"So we're back to this question?"
"What question?" Xia Chong asked with her best innocent expression.
"That face won't work on me, Xia Chong. Once you've experienced Chu Da Ren's innocent face, nothing else compares."
"I suppose not. Yuwen Yue has his work cut out for him. So what would you rather do?"
"Serve Chu Da Ren," he said.
"Well, of course you would," Xia Chong said. "I may as well say I want to serve Xiao Ce."
"No, I mean I want to protect and serve her, not the interests of Yanbei or Wei."
"I see," Xia Chong said. "So you would leave behind leading armies of hundreds in order to serve as, what? Chu Qiao's personal guard?"
"If I never had to lead another army, I'd die a happy man," He Xiao said with a fervency that shocked Xia Chong.
"Are you seriously telling me that you want to hang up your sword?"
"Do you really think that guarding Chu Da Ren would be a peaceful, easy existence?"
"No, but it wouldn't be the Battle of Xiuli Mountain, either."
"I know. If I never had to fight another such battle, I'd also die a happy man."
"Oh."
"Does that surprise you?"
"Of course it does. I saw you fight—with two blades, no less. You were...you were the best fighter out there who wasn't a pugilist with elite martial arts capabilities."
"What about you, Miss Chong? Do you want to keep being an assassin? If you could choose your future-"
"Who says we get to choose our future? Besides, I owe-"
"Yes, I know you owe Xiao Ce your life. But if you could choose..."
Xia Chong was silent for a few moments, but she knew that the wagon ride would soon be drawing to a close and that she might not have a better chance to say these things that she was now somehow able to express.
"My cover's blown pretty thoroughly," she said. "Most of the people in my line of work know who I am. Surely the others back in Liang know that I fought against the princess and was partially responsible for her death. And then there are, of course, the enemies I've made over my years in the Afterlife Camp."
"So maybe you're looking for a fresh start yourself?"
"Yanbei is too cold for me, but I fear that Liang might be too hot after recent events. Maybe...maybe I could go some place a little less inhospitable."
"A place where you could make a new start without having to completely start over again?"
"Exactly. Somewhere I could still hone and use my skills but not be completely cut off from...friends, even if I'd have to live with getting mistaken for Chu Qiao. Do you know of such a place, He Xiao?"
A look of longing crossed He Xiao's face, and he looked down at her with that intensity that had drawn her into his gaze from the start.
"I can think of such a place—but I don't know that we would ever be able to get there," he admitted.
"Well, I never expected that I'd be able to get here, so who knows what could happen?"
"Did you just say something...hopeful, Miss Chong?"
"You can call me Xia Chong like you did before, you know," she said, giving him a crooked smile. "I am, after all, sitting in your lap, so I think we can drop the formality."
"Do you have to be sitting in my lap for me to call you by your name?"
"Not necessarily; there are other ways for us to grow closer, you know."
His only reply to her was to look down at her with that potent look on his face which made his feelings clear. She cursed the sudden lurch that rocked the wagon and broke his concentration. In fact, she cursed the speed at which the driver was traveling since it meant their ride would soon be over. As if the pass could hear her, its mouth came in view before disappearing around a final bend.
"Xia Chong," He Xiao said, his intensity suddenly giving way to shyness. "I hope you'll allow me to keep spending time with you even after you've recovered. I like spending time with you; I want to keep spending time with you."
"So would I," Xia Chong said, unable to stop herself from returning the contagious grin that He Xiao sent her way.
Reluctantly, she let him settle her in beside him, obviously not wanting to cause a spectacle when they rounded that final bend. He kept his arm noticeably around her, however, and she didn't raise any objections. In fact, she tucked her head briefly into his shoulder, allowing a few of her feelings to show in her eyes before pulling away at the end.
Maybe I'm more like Chu Qiao than I'd like to admit, Xia Chong acknowledged to herself as the wagon finally rolled to a stop. And maybe I'd like to have the opportunity to find out.
Not long after Xiao Ce had left, one of the Xiulis walked through the door after making a copious amount of noise before doing so. She recognized his tread and was surprised that He Xiao had sent someone else to do a task that he normally would've done himself. The soldier came in, bearing a shallow drinking bowl and a pot of water.
"Here's your water, Chu Da Ren," he said, setting the bowl down on the table and pouring some water into it.
She thanked him and took the bowl from his outstretched hand, bringing it to her lips and drinking from it gratefully.
"Is He Xiao well?" Chu Qiao asked in concern. "I thought he would've been back more quickly with the water himself, but..."
The Xiuli snickered, causing Chu Qiao to look at him in question.
"He Xiao is a bit...preoccupied right now, Chu Da Ren," he said, grinning suggestively. "Miss Chong was just officially released from the infirmary, so naturally, our courageous commander volunteered to do his duty to escort her to the lower camp."
"Really?!" Chu Qiao asked. "Those two? That's great! I knew he seemed attentive of her when she came to visit me earlier today, but I didn't pick up on..."
She trailed off as she noticed Yuwen Yue looking down at her with a particularly droll expression. She scowled at him, which didn't seem to phase him in the slightest.
"I agree that he did seem a bit...distracted," she admitted. "Do you think...?"
"Well, Chu Da Ren, he talked to her a lot in the infirmary, and he often sought her out even when he had us to talk to."
"Imagine that," Yuwen Yue muttered.
Chu Qiao pointedly ignored her fiance.
"I hope things work out well between them," she said, smiling at her soldier. "They've both been through a lot, and if they can find even a bit of the happiness I have..."
"As you say, Chu Da Ren," the soldier said, bowing. "Oh, yeah; I almost forgot. I'm supposed to ask you if you think you're well enough to eat something."
Her stomach rumbled as if on cue, making her smile sheepishly.
"Now that you mention it..."
"Would you like a bowl of broth—or maybe even some soup?"
"Soup sounds great."
"I'll bring some for you soon, Chu Da Ren," he said, making his exit.
Chu Qiao took another drink from her bowl, emptying it. She went to put it back on the table, but Yuwen Yue silently took it from her and placed it next to the water jar. Now that she thought about it, Yuwen Yue had been even quieter than usual since Xiao Ce had left. She had no idea what could've caused such a withdrawal, so she decided to try to figure out the problem.
"Did you know about He Xiao and Xia Chong?"
"Of course."
"What? And you didn't say anything to me?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because you didn't ask."
"Yuwen Yue! You-! You should've told me! After all, we can't all be as observant as you."
"So I've gathered."
Chu Qiao ground her teeth. Part of her was inclined to accept that her beloved would always have his secrets and to let the matter go, but another part of her knew the havoc that misunderstandings between them could cause.
No, I won't let anything like that come between us ever again.
"Okay, Yuwen Yue," she said, looking up at him. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong, Xing'er."
"Then why have you been so quiet lately?"
"Am I normally noisy?"
She huffed in exasperation.
"Okay, maybe I'll be able to guess what's wrong, then. Is it Xiao Ce's flirting? You know that that's all done in fun, right? There's nothing serious between us. There never has been and there never will be."
"I know."
"Okay, so are you bothered by the lip balm?"
"No, Xing'er; it's practical and useful."
"Okay, so are you worried about our having to face more assassins?"
"No. We're both used to that. We'll be fine."
"Of course we will."
Yuwen Yue said nothing.
"Are you hungry? Should I have asked him to bring you some soup, too?"
"No."
"Are you mad at me for not telling you about my mother's murderer sooner?"
Silence greeted her again, so she pursued this lead.
"Is that it, Yuwen Yue? I promise that I didn't even know for sure until Xia Chong told me the details. I know this sounds terrible, but since regaining my memories, I hadn't even thought about the particulars of my mother's death with everything going on."
"And now that you have thought about it?"
"I...I know that we'll have to be on our guard against more assassins? Well, and that I'll have to make sure she's avenged, of course. How could I face her in the afterlife otherwise?"
His eyes turned cold and remote; she could almost see walls building themselves within them.
"So I suppose you'll be leaving as soon as you're well enough," he said.
"Well, I hadn't really thought about it until now, as I said. First of all, I'm not going to be in any condition to hunt down anyone anytime soon. And then, of course, I need to make sure my Xiulis are taken care of and that Yuan Song is established on Yanbei's throne—and Meng Feng, too, hopefully. And then, of course, is our...our wedding."
Chu Qiao felt herself blushing and for once didn't mind doing so given the circumstances. She looked up at Yuwen Yue shyly, dismayed to see that his face hadn't lightened at all.
"I'm glad to hear that our wedding ranks so high on your list of priorities, Xing'er," he said. "I'm glad to know that getting married is more important to you than getting vengeance—or is it?"
She gaped at Yuwen Yue, having no idea what was going on in his mind. Where had this moodiness and hostility come from? He shifted beneath her, and at first, she thought he was just trying to get into a more comfortable position. Then he did it again, and she realized with dawning fear that he was trying to get out of bed—and out of the discussion.
"Yuwen Yue, what's wrong?" she asked, clutching his hands and refusing to let him go. "Why are you angry at me? I'm sorry, Yuwen Yue; I'm not good at this sort of conversation."
He made no reply except to continue trying to gently extricate himself from their nest. His eyes were still shuttered, and his face was hard as ice.
"Please talk to me, Yuwen Yue," she said softly. "At least give me a chance to make things right."
Yuwen Yue's mouth thinned as he refused to cease his efforts to get up. Chu Qiao made a quick decision and went limp, making herself dead weight.
"No, Yuwen Yue," she muttered into his chest, her own screaming in agony from the pressure. "If you're going to walk away from me, then you're going to have to hurt me physically as well as emotionally to do so."
"Xing'er," he muttered in exasperation, doing his best to take the weight off of her chest with the hands he'd pulled away from her waist. "Stop hurting yourself."
"Do you think leaving me while you're angry is going to hurt me any less? I'd rather suffer this type of pain than that one. I'm not willing to go back to those old ways that tore us apart, Yuwen Yue. Please tell me what's wrong."
Yuwen Yue finally succeeded in shifting her weight to a place that was more comfortable, and she let him. After all, she knew that if he really wanted to lift her out of the way, he could do so with little trouble. His hands, however, he put at his sides, leaving Chu Qiao feeling cold and bereft. He sat still and silent for so long that she'd come to accept that he might not say anything at all.
"I knew this happiness was too good to last, Xing'er," he murmured. "I recognize this pattern. All the signs are there. You'll heal. You'll leave. You'll spend who-knows-how-long trying to track this man down and kill him. Maybe you'll succeed; maybe you'll fail. Maybe I'll hear from one of my operatives months after the fact that you died trying to get your vengeance. Maybe you'll kill him and return months or even years later, ready to pick up where we left off as if nothing had happened. Or maybe you'll decide to go off on another adventure, and then another, and then another. Or maybe you'll meet and fall in love with a man who's easy-going and charming, someone without the complicated history that we share."
Chu Qiao was speechless, almost completely unable to comprehend the contents of her beloved's lengthy speech. While she was thankful that he'd finally told her what was troubling with him, she had no idea of how to convince him that he was wrong. Ultimately, she decided to trust her instincts again, turning around and placing one hand on each side of his face. He clearly knew how much pain that position caused her and tried to turn her around again, but she refused to let him move her. She opened her eyes to him as well as she could and hoped that he could see everything in them—including the tears that were now shimmering on their surfaces.
"Yuwen Yue," she somehow managed to force through her tightened throat, "I never meant to imply that I was going to leave right away to hunt down my mother's killer or that I was planning on being gone for months on end. Surely you can understand my need to gain vengeance on behalf of my mother."
He stiffened beneath her, and his face turned even harder than it had been before. The fury in his eyes terrified her, warning her that whatever she'd said could cause him to walk not just out of her bed but out of her life.
"So you know about that, too," he grated out. "I'm surprised you've kept that story to yourself all these years—that and the knowledge that Yuwen Zhuo is still alive."
With no warning, he jerked his head out of his hands and quickly turned her around so that her back was to his chest. Her wound immediately felt better, but her heart beat harder in fear—especially when his hands came back to rest at his sides.
"Know about what?" she finally asked, feeling like she was back out on the surface of the icy lake with the frozen sheets of ice cracking, crumbling, and shifting beneath her. "I was just speaking generally since the need to avenge loved ones is well-known and obvious. I don't know anything about your parents or what happened to them—and if I did, I wouldn't tell anyone."
Yuwen Yue stayed silent and unmoving. Chu Qiao badly wanted to turn herself around so that she could look into the eyes of the man she loved, but she knew that doing so might simply make matters worse.
"You don't have to tell me anything about your parents, Yuwen Yue," she said tearfully. "I'll just say a few things, and then you can leave me if you want to. First of all, I'm sorry that you thought I was going to immediately run off to hunt down my mother's murderer. I know that I need to avenge her death eventually, but I have no plans to do so at the moment. I am getting married soon, after all, and nothing matters more than that—nothing matters more than you, Yuwen Yue."
A small sob escaped from her throat, and she had to take a moment to gather herself. Her hands rested forlornly in her lap, and all that held her together were the facts that Yuwen Yue hadn't left her and had at least allowed her to stay on his lap.
"I need you and I love you, Yuwen Yue," she continued. "I've been willing to give my life to demonstrate that fact; you've done the same for me. I even yelled it for an entire battlefield to hear, and I haven't been subtle about showing my feelings for you since then. As for getting vengeance, I figured that I could tell Phoenix the details so she could tell the Underworld. And Xiao Ce knows, and...and...I was hoping that you would help me, too."
Chu Qiao finished that last part in a whisper and then sat and waited.
How many times will we end up on the knife's edge, he and I? she wondered. How many times will we misunderstand each other, have to explain ourselves to one another, and hope that the other will understand and, if necessary, forgive?
She felt Yuwen Yue shift beneath her and acknowledged the truth about their relationship.
Probably many more, she admitted to herself. After all, we're both so stubborn.
His arms wrapped around her again and pulled her against himself, and she almost wept with relief. A few more tears leaked from her eyes and traced their way down her cheeks, meeting their inevitable end on the handkerchief that she'd hoped he'd use to dry them. After he'd wiped her tears away, he gently angled her in his arms so that she could look up into his eyes again. They were full of anguish and pain, but at least they were open to her again.
"You need to know what happened to my mother since you're marrying into my family, Xing'er," he said softly, tracing her jaw with one of his fingers.
"No, Yuwen Yue," Chu Qiao said. "You don't have to."
Just like he'd done in the cave, he cut her off—except this time, he did so by gently placing his thumb over her lips. She kissed it gently, her silence leaving the choice to confide or conceal completely up to him.
"Part of my family history is common knowledge; I'm honestly surprised that nobody told you. The official story was that my mother had an affair, went insane, and died. Nobody would tell me what truly happened for the longest time, but finally, I found someone who would at least tell me part of the story."
Yuwen Yue hesitated, and Chu Qiao placed a hand over the one that was now gently cupping her cheek. She ran her thumb over the back of his hand and waited, looking up at him with patient love in her eyes.
"Apparently, one night, Yuwen Xi..."
Chu Qiao's eyes widened and she sat up, ignoring the pain in order to place both hands on the sides of Yuwen Yue's face as tears spilled down her own. He placed his hands on her back, holding her in place as she looked into his eyes.
"I know what that bastard was capable of," she whispered. "You don't have to say any more. Oh, Yuwen Yue, I'm so sorry. That's why you worked so hard to teach me..."
She closed her eyes as images from their past flew through her mind. The harsh training methods, his reluctance to get close to her, and his efforts to teach her how to defend herself all made sense now. He'd wanted to stop the past from repeating itself by forming her into a woman who could take care of herself in any situation—and, perhaps, someday take her place at his side.
Chu Qiao opened her eyes and looked up into Yuwen Yue's, astonished at the amount of pain and vulnerability she saw there. Above all else, she treasured the openness evident in his gaze, understanding it for the staggering display of trust that it was. Fire ignited in her heart and spread to her eyes, causing his own to widen.
"Yuwen Yue, when I killed him, I blamed him for every woman he ever hurt, for every woman he ever murdered. When I killed him, I took vengeance for your mother, too, even if I didn't know I was doing so at the time. You won't have to worry about facing her in the afterlife because she'll know her son's wife avenged her sufferings on his behalf."
His gentle kiss was sad and poignant, conveying many emotions in spite of its simplicity. He pulled back slightly yet held her close, obviously not wanting to let her go.
"I will never leave you again," she vowed, caressing his cheeks with her thumbs.
Yuwen Yue kissed her one more time before gently lowering her back into her original position against his chest. She almost sighed with relief as her chest stopped hurting again and then did sigh with pleasure when his hands wound around her waist where they belonged. She felt herself growing drowsy again due to these latest physical and emotional demands, but she had one more thing she wanted to say to him before she fell asleep again.
"Thank you for telling me your secrets, Yuwen Yue," she murmured to the man she loved. "I know that's not your way, but I'll do my best to be worthy of that level of trust."
"You're the only one I've ever told my secrets to, X'er," he whispered, "and you're the only one I ever will tell."
Tears filled her eyes again as she placed her hands back on top of his and clasped them tightly. He lightly kissed her hair in response, and they rested in companionable silence as she felt sleep tugging at her once again. Just as her eyes were about to close, she identified a couple of sets of bootprints that made her eyes pop wide open.
Yuwen Yue's response was to pull the covers all the way up to her neck again, and she couldn't stop herself from smiling at the gesture. She looked up at him impishly as their guests strolled into the room through the door that had been opened for them.
Meng Feng could sense a recently-relaxed tension in the small room, but she mentally shrugged, knowing that her master and the woman he loved would likely always be involved in some form of conflict or other. They were both strong-willed, stubborn fighters, after all, and would surely remain so well into their lives together. Not that she anticipated serious problems for them going forward; she knew that both of them had been through too much to surrender the happiness they'd paid for so dearly.
Yuan Song was talking animatedly with Chu Qiao, and she was content to observe most of the conversation in silence, adding only a few words occasionally. While she'd genuinely wanted to see her master and his woman, the main reason she'd wanted to come up here was because she was bored.
And so that I could be relatively alone with Yuan Song, she admitted, smiling indulgently at her beloved as he laughed at something witty Chu Qiao said. He needed to get away from the lower camp, too—especially after that conversation he had with his brother earlier.
Meng Feng's heart swelled all over again as she remembered listening to Yuan Song stand up to his brother on her behalf. Hearing him defend her so fiercely had quieted doubts about her beloved that she'd never realized she'd had. She did, after all, remember the helplessness of being obligated to serve a terrible master, and she was loathe to put herself in that position again through marriage—or something less socially-acceptable.
"What?" Yuan Song said loudly beside her, drawing her attention back to the conversation. "You'd actually told him this morning that you were getting married and he didn't tell me? All he would do was to hint about it even though he knew all along."
"He really didn't say anything?" Chu Qiao asked, grinning.
"Well, he did tell me a bit about how he found you this morning," Yuan Song replied with a suggestive grin of his own.
"I'm sorry that his account of our being discovered in bed together wasn't as detailed as you wanted it to be, Your Highness," Chu Qiao replied.
Her beloved smiled sheepishly, ducking his head in embarrassment.
"What he means is that we were all worried about you and wanted to make sure you were safe," Meng Feng said.
"Your concern is duly noted," Yuwen Yue said.
"Given how many people have come to visit us today, there must have been a lot of people who were worried," Chu Qiao said.
"There haven't really been all that many people who've come here, Xing'er."
"Maybe it only seemed like there were too many people who visited us today—present company excluded, of course," Chu Qiao said with the best fake sincerity Meng Feng had ever heard or seen.
"Of course, A'Chu," Yuan Song said with equally false dignity. "We would never expect you to lump us in with those other unwanted guests. We are, after all, very important people."
"So you told me the first time we met—at least in regards to yourself, anyway," Chu Qiao said.
"I don't think I've heard this story," Meng Feng said, knowing from the chagrined expression on her beloved's face that she very much wanted to do so.
"You mean he hasn't told you about how he disrupted my smell identification training because he thought I was playing hide and seek and he wanted to play, too?"
"A'Chu," Yuan Song whined.
To Meng Feng's delight, Chu Qiao ignored him.
"Did he mention how I threw him into a shallow pond because he made some assumptions about how easy I'd be to catch?"
"No, he didn't tell me about that."
"Surely he mentioned that I gave him false information about my identity and he believed me."
"He failed to mention that, too."
"Then he threatened to buy me and teach me the error of my ways."
Meng Feng turned her eyes on the man she loved and had to work hard to keep from laughing at his panicked expression.
"No, he definitely didn't tell me that part."
"Do I want to be buried in Wei or Yanbei?" Yuan Song asked the room at large.
"I tried to warn him that my master liked me very much and wouldn't let me go, but he didn't believe me."
"Something tells me that you didn't know how true that was, either."
Chu Qiao inclined her head and smiled sadly.
"No, I didn't. How did that go, anyway, Yuwen Yue? Did he really try to buy me from you that day?"
"He did, Xing'er. In fact, both he and Yan Xun—whom my Cangwu bird had pooped on earlier, by the way—visited me at the same time and tried to buy you. I defused the situation by telling them that I needed you to keep taking care of me because I was still blind—and besides, I couldn't sell you to either of them at the risk of offending the other."
Meng Feng goggled in astonishment and her master, and she wasn't the only one. Nobody seemed to know exactly how to respond to his awkward story, and he seemed completely unperturbed by everyone's reactions.
"I was only pretending to be blind, though."
"You were blinder than you want to admit," Chu Qiao muttered.
"What was that, Xing'er?"
"Nothing, Yuwen Yue," Chu Qiao said, eyes innocently twinkling. "The cold must be affecting your hearing."
"You were only pretending to be blind and I fell for it?" Yuan Song asked. "I think I'm the one who's blind."
Chu Qiao's face turned serious as she looked up at Yuwen Yue.
"I think we were all blind, and we should all be thankful that we can see now."
"I think you're right, A'Chu," Yuan Song said. "That's exactly how I feel: Like I can see clearly for the first time in my life."
"You told your brother something like that earlier, if I remember correctly."
"You heard that much of our conversation?" he asked, practically squeaking the last part out.
"What conversation?" Chu Qiao asked.
"Nothing," Yuan Song said quickly.
"Are you really insinuating that telling your brother you were going to marry me whether he wanted you to or not is nothing?"
Now it was her turn to be gaped at; she, of course, maintained her serenity.
"You told me such an entertaining story, Chu Qiao, so telling you about my fiance's amazing defense of me earlier today seemed only fair."
"Fiance?!" Chu Qiao practically shrieked, finally regaining her voice. "Now who didn't tell us anything? You're getting married? Prince Xiang tried to talk Yuan Song out of it, but he defended you and you heard it?"
Chu Qiao bounced in place, earning an admonishing look from her own fiance.
"Sorry, Yuwen Yue," Chu Qiao said.
"Oh, feel free to keep bouncing on my lap, Xing'er," Yuwen Yue said placidly. "It's good practice."
Chu Qiao blushed and spluttered.
"Someday in a fight, you might end up on top of someone, and you'll be glad you've developed those muscles."
"Yuwen Yue! You-!"
"What did you think I meant, Xing'er?"
Yuan Song was laughing behind his hand, and Meng Feng was exerting all of her control to keep from joining him. Chu Qiao was blushing badly, and Young Master Yue's eyes were filled with more joy than she'd ever seen in them. She was glad for both of them and hoped that they would be as happy as she knew that she and Yuan Song would be—if they were allowed to marry, of course.
"What's wrong, Meng Feng?" Chu Qiao asked, obviously noticing the rapid change in expression on her face.
"Nothing," she said quickly, earning nothing but a droll glance from both Chu Qiao and her master.
"As we've mentioned, my brother didn't exactly react to my announcement of our engagement with as much excitement as you did, A'Chu."
Chu Qiao scowled. "So another idiotic Wei royal is causing problems? Some things never change."
"Hey! That's my family you're talking about," Yuan Song said.
"I'm sorry, Yuan Song, but they're all idiots—present company excluded, of course."
I wonder if I could get Chu Qiao to teach me that faux-innocent look. Maybe I could teach her my serene expression in return…
"You're right, A'Chu," he said, shoulders slumping in dejection. "They are all idiots."
"Well, Yuan Song, if it's any consolation, I think you're the best of them, and Prince Xiang probably isn't so bad once he manages to overcome his idiocy."
"I'm sure my brother would feel honored by your description of him."
"If he wanted a more complete description, he could feel free to visit me again and I'd give him one."
"Xing'er, please remember that you're supposed to be marrying me soon," Yuwen Yue said, looking down at her in affectionate exasperation. "I'd rather not have to smooth over a diplomatic incident with the royal family before such a happy occasion arrives."
"What makes you think I would cause a diplomatic incident, Yuwen Yue?" Chu Qiao asked him.
"Because you could probably cause a diplomatic incident just by walking around at a lantern festival, A'Chu," Yuan Song interjected.
"You know, Yuan Song, now that you mention it..." Chu Qiao said, trailing off as memories obviously assailed her.
Her master also seemed to be lost in memories that were both good and bad judging from the expression on his face.
"Okay, okay, okay, Yuwen Yue," Chu Qiao said. "I won't call Prince Xiang an idiot to his face."
"Or any other insults, Xing'er."
"Of course not, Yuwen Yue. I would never do such a thing."
He stared at her skeptically.
"I will try to help you two if I can, though," Chu Qiao said, looking Yuan Song in the eye. "I trusted you to prove yourself to be the right man to lead Yanbei, and you validated that trust in ways I never could've expected. I won't forget what you've done—either of you."
"Aw, thanks, A'Chu," Yuan Song said bashfully. "I couldn't have done it without my right hand, though."
"Of course you could've, Yuan Song," Meng Feng objected. "You're strong and brave. All I did was-"
"All you did was save my life over and over again, get seriously wounded by one of the best enemy fighters on the field because he was going to kill me, and then keep on fighting anyway even though you were in agony. Then you gave Xia Chong treatment that probably saved her life. Then you were there to comfort me when I discovered Chun'er's body. And then you rode out with me so that I wouldn't have to face my brother alone and then deliberately fainted at just the right time to get him to call a truce with Yanbei."
Meng Feng could only stare at her beloved, unable to respond.
"I won't let anyone sell you short, Meng Feng—not even you."
The rest of the world faded out for a moment, and she instinctively grabbed his hand in hers. She quickly came back to her senses, though, and tried to pull away from Yuan Song, conscious of all of the eyes on them.
"It's okay, Meng Feng," Yuan Song said softly. "We don't have to pretend here."
"Considering that Xing'er and I are currently sitting in bed together and holding hands under the blankets while wearing nothing but our underrobes, we're hardly in any position to lecture you," Yuwen Yue noted dryly.
"Thank you, Master," Meng Feng managed to say as if she'd just completed a routine assignment for him.
"I think we can dispense with the titles now given your probable reassignment."
"I know I should've said something before now, Master..."
"Well, we have all been quite preoccupied," Yuwen Yue noted. "I think I can excuse you this once."
"So will you be sending her on an undercover assignment?" Chu Qiao asked, eyes wide.
"Xing'er..."
"After all, she'll be protecting Yuan Song on your behalf and sending reports to you, but to everyone else, she'll simply be his wife."
Yuwen Yue looked down at Chu Qiao, mildly scowling.
"What did you think I meant, Yuwen Yue?"
"I think you should be thankful that I'm so good at carrying out undercover missions myself, Xing'er," Yuwen Yue said, giving Chu Qiao an intense look.
Now it was Chu Qiao's turn to blush again.
"After all, if I weren't so good at my job, this plan would've failed spectacularly."
"Oh, yes, Yuwen Yue; getting caught in Yan Xun's palace and jumping off of the ramparts to escape was a brilliant maneuver."
"Of course it was, Xing'er. I knew you'd rescue me, and you did. And then we ended up in the cave and worked out our misunderstandings, which brought us here. Honestly, I think that's some of the best work I've ever done."
"Mm," Chu Qiao finally said, nodding. "I can't argue with that."
"I'm sure you could if you put your mind to it, Xing'er."
Meng Feng smiled as she listened to the couple continue to banter. Yuan Song was also grinning, obviously enjoying the show as well and looking much more relaxed than he'd been before they'd left the lower camp. She was glad that she'd convinced him to bring her up here in the wagon—and she was, of course, looking forward to him holding her in place as they went back down the mountain.
I'm sure the man I love will do a thorough job of making sure that I don't move around at all. He'll be there for me just like he has been ever since we met...won't he?
She stood there holding his hand, thinking of those desolate years she'd spent in the Afterlife Camp, remembering how it felt to bow before her hooded master so he would give her another pill so she could exist for another period of time. She thought of meeting Yuwen Yue, somehow knowing that she could trust him from the start. He'd offered her another life—or at least a more honorable person to kill for—and she'd taken that offer without a second thought. Now she was holding another man's hand, having promised to become his wife and to remain his protector for the rest of her days.
Can I be absolutely certain that Yuan Song will never betray me? In one year, five years, ten years, might I end up in the same position that so many other women have had to endure?
Her eyes met his again, and the love shining out of them gave her the closest thing to an answer she was ever going to get.
Of course I can't be certain. Who can—especially in such chaotic times? But I know I stand a better chance of happiness than most, and come what may, I know my life with Yuan Song will never be boring.
She smiled tranquilly at her beloved, acknowledging another fact.
Besides, if he ever does betray me, I can just poison him. I'm sure Chu Qiao would take my side if I told her the truth, and I could come back to Qing Shan Yuan—assuming, of course, that the other Yuans never found out.
Her morbid musings came to an end as she realized something else.
Yuan Song knows what I'm capable of, but he's trusting me to never turn my abilities on him. He understands I could kill him easily, yet he believes—he knows—that I would rather die than harm him. He's taking a chance on me, too.
"So how did you guys get up here anyway?" Chu Qiao asked them, putting an end to Meng Feng's thoughts.
"We rode on the patient wagon," Meng Feng replied.
"The patient wagon? What's that?" Chu Qiao asked.
"Several times a day, someone drives a wagon up the mountain, collects whatever patients have been discharged from the infirmary at that point, and takes them down to the lower camp," she explained.
"He Xiao escorted Xia Chong down on the one that we rode in up here," Yuan Song said. "He seemed to be doing an excellent job of making sure that she didn't move around too much."
"So you ride down through the main pass on this wagon and you can stay in the lower camp below?" Chu Qiao said with a speculative tone in her voice.
"Xing'er..."
Yuan Song got a maniacal gleam in his eyes as his inability to keep out of mischief got the better of him.
"Exactly," he said. "You get settled into the wagon, then a driver takes you slowly down the mountain through the main pass. The ride can be really bumpy, which is why anyone who is severely injured should have a person nearby to keep them from getting jostled."
"I take it you volunteered for that job with Meng Feng," Chu Qiao said.
"Of course," Yuan Song responded.
"He did a very good job," Meng Feng said with a straight face. "Given my position at the time, I hardly moved at all."
Chu Qiao turned her large, bright eyes on Yuwen Yue with full force, making both Meng Feng and Yuan Song wince in sympathy.
"No, Xing'er," Yuwen Yue said. "You're not ready to be moved yet. In all likelihood, you won't be ready for a few more days."
She continued to look at Yuwen Yue, sincere pleading entering her gaze.
"It's so cold here, Yuwen Yue," she murmured. "Without you here, I get so cold, and I hurt so bad...Besides, wouldn't you rather know I was nearby than way up here in case something happened? Xia Chong was injured badly, too, but she made it down just fine. Surely you could do at least as good of a job of holding me in place as He Xiao did, couldn't you?"
Yuwen Yue stared at Chu Qiao for a few long moments.
"I'll have Mister Wu and Phoenix evaluate you," he said. "If they say you're well enough, I'll escort you down myself."
"Thank you, Yuwen Yue," Chu Qiao said, her eyes showing genuine relief and love.
"Don't thank me yet, Xing'er," he warned. "If they say you're not ready to go, you're not going."
"I think we'd better be going ourselves," Meng Feng said. "After all, Yuan Song promised he'd walk around with me a bit while we're up here. Exercise is good for keeping up your strength, after all."
"Indeed it is, Meng Feng," Chu Qiao said. "But make sure that you stay warm; being cold can slow down your recovery."
"Thanks for your concern, Chu Qiao, but I'm not worried about being cold," she said, squeezing Yuan Song's hand. He grinned at her and pulled her closer.
"Me neither," Chu Qiao said, smiling impishly.
Meng Feng shook her head and reluctantly let go of Yuan Song's hand. He seemed just as disappointed but appeared to be as reluctant to cause a scandal as she was.
"You should probably lean on Yuan Song's arm, Meng Feng," Chu Qiao said to their retreating backs. "After all, there's ice everywhere, and we wouldn't want a tragic accident to occur."
"Thank you for looking out for my well-being, Chu Qiao," she said. "I think that's an excellent idea."
They walked out the door, Yuan Song making sure to keep an eye out for any slick areas. She knew that she had nothing to fear and that she could trust this man with her life—and her heart.
But still…
"Yuan Song," she said softly as they passed out of view of the upper camp and she took his hand again.
"Yes?"
"If you ever even think of marrying another woman, I'll poison you with something so subtle you won't even notice it until it's killed you in an incredibly painful way."
Meng Feng smiled serenely at the man she loved as he started stuttering protestations and assurances at her, thinking that the future looked very bright, indeed.
"So how are we going to convince Prince Xiang to let them get married?" Chu Qiao asked almost as soon as Yuan Song and Meng Feng were out of earshot.
"Do I look like a matchmaker to you?" Yuwen Yue asked.
"Well, I suppose you could if I helped you with the makeup," Chu Qiao said. "I don't think you'd make a pretty woman, though, Yuwen Yue."
"Not as pretty as Xiao Ce would," he agreed.
"You sound a bit jealous of Xiao Ce, Yuwen Yue."
"Why would I be jealous of him? What does he have that I don't, Xing'er?"
"Knowledge of beauty products, for one."
"Mm. I see. Okay, Xing'er. Once we're married, I'll allow to teach me all about beauty products."
"What would you give me in return for these lessons, Yuwen Yue? After all, I don't teach people for free."
As she'd hoped, he gave her that intense look she loved so much, and she allowed herself to get lost in it for a few moments.
"I think we could come to a satisfactory arrangement," she said, smiling. "You still didn't answer my question about Yuan Song and Meng Feng, though."
"That's because I don't know the answer yet, Xing'er. Prince Xiang has always been protective of his little brother, and the recent loss of so many family members has probably not lessened that protectiveness. He'll want to make sure that his brother marries an honorable, trustworthy woman, and he doesn't know Meng Feng well enough to make that decision yet."
Chu Qiao snorted in derision.
"Oh, yes; I'm sure that 'trustworthiness' will be at the top of of His Highness's list of character traits that he'd consider for a wife for Yuan Song. Something tells me that he would judge a woman's 'trustworthiness' by the size of her fortune and the level of her connections-or maybe the attractiveness of her face or figure."
"You sell him short, Xing'er," Yuwen Yue admonished her. She pouted in response.
"Okay, so I don't know him as well as you do," she admitted. "To be fair, I don't really know Meng Feng all that well and would probably not help Yuan Song's case were I to tell His Highness about my previous experiences with her."
"You mean that you don't think that Prince Xiang would appreciate her for shooting you with that poison dart, Xing'er?"
"Actually, he might, now that you mention it, Yuwen Yue. If I tell him that she once tried to kill me, do you think that would make him like her better?"
"Xing'er..."
"Maybe I could tell him about the fight over the wheat, too. 'I tried to kill her, but she escaped from me, Your Highness.' Do you think that would help?"
Yuwen Yue simply gave her that same exasperated look he'd been leveling at her since she was his bedchamber maid at Qing Shan Yuan.
"No? Maybe I could point out that if she hadn't have shot me with that dart, then we wouldn't have spent all that time together, and we probably wouldn't be where we are today."
"You clearly don't need my help to convince Prince Xiang, Xing'er. You obviously have everything under control."
She pretended to scowl up at him, but she found maintaining her frown impossible when he cupped her cheek in his hand.
"I'll have to evaluate the situation myself, Xing'er—preferably when I'm not in bed with my fiance on my lap. I'll have to talk to Xiang and figure out the precise nature of his objections and if they have any merit."
"What?"
"His objections might have some merit, Xing'er. I don't know yet. Maybe he knows something I don't know."
Chu Qiao was torn between insulting Yuwen Yue's intelligence and doing the same to Prince Xiang, so she held her peace, letting her silence speak volumes instead.
"His ideas are not outside of the norm, Xing'er. Most men believe as he does, and history is littered with numerous disastrous unions that destroyed families—and even nations."
"I'm sure that's the real problem with our society, Yuwen Yue—marriages between two people of unequal social status. Surely the corruption, politicking, and petty personal vendettas are not to blame at all."
"I'll do what I can, Xing'er, but for some reason, I doubt that Xiang would listen to anything I have to say on the topic," he said, staring down at her pointedly.
Chu Qiao sighed and looked down.
"I know that marrying me isn't going to earn you any praise from your peers, Yuwen Yue."
"Yes, I am definitely to be pitied," he said pensively. "You'll have to find some way to make it up to me, Xing'er."
"Well, I've already promised to teach you about beauty products; what more could you want?"
She couldn't resist looking up again and meeting her beloved's intense gaze again.
"I'm thirsty," she said, saying the first thing that came to her mind after getting lost in Yuwen Yue's eyes.
"Probably from all that talking, Xing'er."
She scowled up at him and pushed herself up higher on his lap, reaching out for the dish that was set out on the table. Yuwen Yue gently stopped her and poured some water in the dish, bringing it to her. She tried to take the dish from him so she could drink, but he wouldn't hand it over to her.
"You're too tired, Xing'er," he said. "You've been getting more and more sleepy, and holding this yourself would probably hurt your chest now."
"I'm not some decrepit old woman," she muttered. "I'm perfectly capable of holding my own bowl, Yuwen Yue."
"Let me hold the bowl for you, Xing'er. You can easily drink from it, and then I can put it back on the table for you."
"You don't have to be quite so protective of me, you know."
"Who says I'm being protective of you, Xing'er? If you drop this bowl, then water will go all over me. Then where would I be?"
"I'm sure Phoenix would have something to say when she came to evaluate me and tell you that I'm well enough to get off this mountain."
"Xing'er..."
"You promised, Yuwen Yue."
"I promised I'd have them evaluate you, Xing'er. I didn't say when."
"Yuwen Yue! You-"
"You need to rest more, Xing'er. You're barely keeping your eyes open now; how will you make it down the mountain?"
"If you hold me tightly enough..."
"You need at least one more night of rest, Xing'er."
"And how am I going to get it in this cold, uncomfortable place? I'm assuming that even you couldn't get away with staying in my bed for another night."
"I don't know, Xing'er; I'm pretty weak and tired myself. Climbing up that mountain was quite exhausting, after all."
"Don't tease me like that, Yuwen Yue. We both know you're going to get out of this bed soon, put on your black robe, and sneak back down the mountain."
"Can we at least agree that drinking this water will help you recover?"
"Of course, Yuwen Yue; I've been trying to do so for how long now? Someone won't give me the water."
"I'll make a deal with you, Xing'er," Yuwen Yue said, his eyes suddenly turning hooded. "I'll let you hold the water yourself as you drink it—if you'll let me apply Xiao Ce's lip balm for you afterward."
Chu Qiao sucked in a shocked breath, her eyes widening as she looked up at the man she loved. A denial instinctively readied itself on her tongue before she realized that she no longer had to utter it if she didn't want to.
We love each other, she reminded herself. We're getting married. I don't have to pretend that I'm not attracted to him anymore. I don't have to pretend that I don't want this—want him.
She nodded slowly, and he handed the bowl to her. Chu Qiao drained it dry and sighed in relief as the water soothed her throat. Her beloved took the bowl away and placed it on the table, grasping the small tub of lip balm and bringing it to them.
Before he could open the tub, a couple of Xiuli soldiers bustled through the door, seemingly oblivious to the heavy tension filling up the room. They laid out not just one but two bowls of soup, plus some broth, some beef and rice, and some bread.
"We wanted to make sure that you had enough to eat, Chu Da Ren, Young Master Yue," they said. "Healing is hungry work, after all."
"Thank you," Chu Qiao said breathlessly, making them look at her strangely. "I'm so hungry that I'm practically fainting."
They smiled in understanding, seeming to have accepted her explanation for her strange behavior. Bowing, they left, leaving steaming, appetizing food in their wake. Chu Qiao felt decidedly less enthusiastic about the food than she had before she'd requested it, and she could tell that Yuwen Yue wasn't particularly excited, either. He replaced the balm on the table, however, and dutifully pulled the soup bowl and spoon before them.
"You said I could hold my own bowl," Chu Qiao said, reaching for it.
"I said you could hold your own water bowl," he corrected her. "This is much heavier, and you have to use a spoon to eat it. Let me help you, Xing'er."
She opened her mouth to argue, but then, just as she'd done in regards to the balm, she came to her senses. Images of her first morning as his bedchamber maid popped into her mind, and she remembered sitting in a position that was not so different from this one.
My position might not be so different, but my feelings definitely are, she admitted.
"Mm," she said softly, looking up at him.
He dipped the spoon into the bowl and raised it to her lips, gently tipping the contents into her mouth. At first, her stomach rebelled at the invasion of solid food, but another spoonful helped to quiet its protests. Chu Qiao knew that she needed the nourishment after going so long without food, and she immediately began to feel better due to getting something on her stomach.
Okay, so I probably also feel better thanks to the fact that Yuwen Yue's feeding me, she acknowledged.
She looked up at him between spoonfuls of soup and thanked him with her eyes, his own full of that same potency that he'd displayed that morning in front of Jin Zhu. Unlike that day, however, she reveled in the intensity and enjoyed it as much as he did.
The bowl was emptied in what seemed like no time, and Yuwen Yue managed to convince her to drain the broth bowl as well. Under most other circumstances, she knew she would've felt drowsy, but the corners her eyes kept flitting back to that small tub of balm sitting innocuously on the table.
"Aren't you going to eat your own food, Yuwen Yue?" she asked him.
He gave her one of his looks, managing to convey his scorn for the idea wordlessly.
"That's not what I'm hungry for, X'er," she murmured, reaching once again for the balm.
"Is this like your conversation with Xiao Ce about the cups?" Chu Qiao asked breathlessly.
"I don't want to talk about Xiao Ce, X'er."
"Oh," was all she could manage.
Slowly, he removed the top from the tub and went to rub his finger over the top of it. Chu Qiao was struck with one of her quick inspirations, and she reached out a hand to stop him from doing so.
"Are you sure you want to do that now, Yuwen Yue?" she asked innocently. "If you put that balm on my lips now, you won't be able to kiss me anymore since doing so would take away the balm."
His eyes darkened, and he deliberately replaced the lid on the balm and placed it back on the table once again. He repositioned her in his arms and raised her up, kissing her soundly when she was close enough. Chu Qiao congratulated herself on her perfectly-executed plan, knowing that she was going to get both a thorough kissing from her beloved and an application of lip balm—all after being fed a delicious meal by him.
Yuwen Yue pulled away but maintained eye contact, his gaze never lightening from its dark intensity. He shifted his grip on her and reached out again for the lip balm, grabbing it by feel and pulling it back into bed with them. He removed the top one-handed and slowly ran his finger across the slick surface of the balm. Setting the tub back on the table, he placed his finger on her mouth and traced her lips with it, leaving a trail of balm behind.
Between the look in his eyes and the feelings pulsing through her, Chu Qiao wouldn't have been surprised to burst into flame. He ran his finger over her lips again and again, obviously wanting to make sure that the balm had soaked into her the surface of her lips. Eventually, he lowered his hand back to her back and drew her close again, lowering his face towards hers.
"Yuwen Yue," she breathed out. "You can't kiss me again or you'll rub away all the balm."
"No, X'er," he rasped, "You can't kiss me. I, however, can still kiss you—just not on the mouth."
"What-?"
Her feeble protest was cut off as he pressed his lips to the underside of her jaw and repeated the motion several times along her jawline. He languidly kissed her all the way down her throat, his mouth finally coming to rest at the juncture of her neck and shoulder. As he kissed her pulse point, she threw her head back, silently begging him for more.
Yuwen Yue leaned in again as if he were going to press a kiss beneath her earlobe, but instead, he whispered, "I'm sorry, X'er, but I feel another nap coming on. I must be faint from hunger after all."
Without further warning, he shifted her back around to her original position and slumped against her, his head once again tucking neatly between her shoulder and neck. She sputtered in bewildered outrage, the warring thoughts and feelings rendering her almost completely incoherent.
"Yuwen Yue! You-! What-?!"
He gave no sign that he'd heard her even though she knew he was faking.
"You're not asleep, Yuwen Yue! How could you-? Wake up!"
Silence.
"You're not fooling me at all, you know. I'm going to get you back for this eventually."
Silence.
"Maybe this will teach you to not try to torment me, Xing'er," Yuwen Yue finally mumbled without opening his eyes. "You'll never win, you know. Besides, I owed you for that 'thank you with my mouth' tease. You see, Xing'er, I can thank you with my mouth, too."
He lapsed into silence again, leaving a fuming and frustrated Chu Qiao sitting in his lap. She knew that she had no way of getting him back...except...A crafty look formed on her face, but she erased it and concentrated on making a sappy, sentimental smile that would hopefully shape the words that would soon come out of her mouth.
"Don't worry, Yuwen Yue," she whispered softly. "I have the rest of my life to get you back."
Her beloved gave no sign that he'd heard her, and she frowned again. She was getting sleepy, though, the warmth caused by the man she loved and the fullness of her stomach lulling her to unconsciousness. Just as she'd almost given up hope, Yuwen Yue's arms tightened around her and his lips quirked into a faint smile. Chu Qiao took her small victory and closed her eyes, not remembering that Yuwen Yue had forgotten to have her doctors evaluate her until she woke up the next morning alone—except for the presence of several empty bowls and the tub of lip balm, which had been placed within easy reach.
AN: There will be a two-week time-skip next week, and we'll catch up with our people at the lower camp. Two weeks: Xiang showdown/fallout. Three weeks: Wrapping up final loose ends. Four weeks: Wedding night double-shot epilogue. Five weeks. Break. Glorious break. (Actually now would probably be a good time to issue the caveat that if my grandfather passes away in the next four weeks, the end of the story might get delayed a bit. Hospice has been called in and he's fading a bit each day, but he's an incredibly tough man [he is 101, after all], so who knows? I won't, of course, abandon the story, and I won't say that I won't still manage to post on time anyway since writing can be a great escape, but I just wanted to give y'all a heads-up for if I disappear for a week or two without updating.)
Musical selection: What did I decide on this week? Do I really remember? Oh, yeah; I think I'd decided on "Fighting for You" by Us the Duo. It fits Meng Feng especially well, but can easily apply to the others as well.
Translation/Fanfiction update: Angel Chua has added a few chapters to her fanfic, "Secret Princess" at princessagents dot wordpress dot com. I'm not sure which ones, and I'm way too lazy right now to look it up. I blame the turkey. You'd better just read them all to make sure, though.