Sonny Carisi was actually surprisingly pleasant company when he had a few glasses of eggnog running through him.
This was the first year that Rafael had decided to indulge Olivia and agree to come to the annual Special Victims Unit Christmas party. And so far, - though the eggnog coursing through his veins probably had a lot to do with it - he was actually having a decent time.
It was especially odd considering that the majority of his 'decent time' had been spent off in a corner of the precinct, drinking, and talking with, and smelling Sonny Carisi.
Rafael couldn't help but admire how lovely the younger man smelled, his aftershave sharp against Rafael's nose, because Sonny had a pesky habit of constantly invading other people's personal space while talking, even more so when slightly inebriated, it seemed.
He tried not to dwell on the fact that the expensive scent of aftershave lingering on the man's neck wasn't the only thing that he was admiring in the dimmed lighting of the precinct.
His eyes were also lazily raking over Sonny's legs, his ridiculously long legs, and his ass in the tight fit of the slate gray slacks he was wearing.
His gaze then came to rest on Sonny's midsection, the sleeves of his knit sweater rolled up just past his elbows, showing off the lean cut of his forearms as he threw them around wildly, entertaining Rafael with a story of one of many failed Carisi family summer vacations.
He wasn't entirely superficial though.
He was also admiring Sonny's overbearing laughter that became even more so boisterous and hearty when he'd gotten a few in him, the vibrations of it echoing deep into Rafael's chest.
He admired the twinkle in Sonny's blue eyes that seemed reserved only for the special occasions when he spoke of the family that was stitched into the very fabric of his being, who's presence in his life was worn around his shoulders like a winter coat.
Almost everything about Sonny intrigued him to no end, and that frightened him a little.
It might force him to do something incredibly stupid, like grab Sonny's face and kiss him.
"Hey, counselor, you wanna get out of here, maybe go someplace that reminds you a little less of work?" Sonny's words cut across his thoughts like a knife. "You've been staring at me for like, ten minutes now. If I was boring you that much you could've just told me to shut up."
Sonny's grin had been replaced by a much smaller one and Rafael immediately zeroed in on the fact that - adorably - Sonny was feeling self-conscious.
He wanted to be interesting for Rafael.
He wanted to entertain Rafael, he wanted to be attentive and was actively going above and beyond the call of duty when it came to making sure that Rafael was enjoying himself.
It was all incredibly endearing.
Rafael dared.
"Actually, this is the best night out that I've had in a really long time." He moved to lay a hand on top of where Sonny's was perched, supporting his minimal weight as he leaned against a fold-out table stacked high with finger food.
Sonny's eyes immediately widened at the contact.
Rafael drew his fingertips back across the top of Sonny's hand, one by one, letting each skim lightly over his skin. "But, I'll go somewhere with you if you want. You don't think anyone will miss us?"
Sonny glanced around at the myriad of officers mingling about the room, heads thrown back in drunken laughter, eyes fixed unwavering on their drinks, on the festive red and green decorations scattered across the walls, on each other. He shook his head eagerly. "Nah. No one has to know."
Rafael smirked and pulled the detective's hand back into his embarrassingly eager grasp. "Well, lead the way Sonny."
They set off, Sonny practically dragging him towards the squad room door as he struggled to keep up with the taller man's long and quick strides.
Once outside the squad room, the buzz of conversation now a dull drone behind them, Sonny pulled Rafael in the direction of the elevator, yanking his arm roughly in his excitement.
"Calm down, detective. I'd like to keep my shoulder in its socket, if at all possible." Sonny blushed, jamming his index finger into the elevator call button an unnecessary number of times. "Sorry," he said, avoiding Rafael's gaze. "I'm just a little nervous is all."
Rafael just chuckled, squeezing Sonny's hand tighter in his as they stepped through the opening elevator doors.
There was no way in hell he was letting that little slip-up go unnoticed.
"Do I make you nervous, detective?" he asked coolly, his thumb rubbing small, teasing slow circles against Sonny's palm.
He could tell that Sonny was trying to play it cool, trying not to squirm underneath Rafael's firm touch, trying not to let anything else incriminating slip past his lips.
"Yeah, a little," Sonny admitted, careful to keep his stare locked above Rafael's head, a benefit of his added height. He shrugged, then added, "I mean, you're you."
Thankfully, Rafael didn't have time to contemplate exactly what the hell 'you're you' meant; the elevator had jolted to an abrupt stop on the uppermost level of the precinct.
Sonny was darting through the door with Rafael still firmly attached to his side before he'd even gotten a chance to register where it was they were.
This level was bare, and rather small, all tiled floor and fading gray walls, a single spiraling staircase leading up to a square hatch that Rafael could only assume led to the building's roof.
He turned to Sonny, an unspoken question ghosting across his lips as the other man hurriedly protested. "It'll be fun. Trust me." He then, quite unfairly, bit his lip, the same sliver of self-doubt that Rafael had observed earlier under the warm glow of the precinct creeping back into his features.
It made him look impossibly young, like a wide-eyed high school freshman on his first date, too afraid to even ask to hold hands.
He clambered over to the stairs then, grabbing on to either side of the metal railing, and began the ascent, Rafael following closely behind.
Once they'd reached the top, Sonny unbolted the hatch and shoved against the piece of metal, the door falling open with a deafening 'clang' as it came to rest against the roof.
Sonny twisted to face him, a shy smile and hand offered as he said, "Come on, counselor."
He retook Sonny's hand and they cleared the remainder of the steps together, finally climbing out into the cool night air.
He didn't let go of Sonny's hand as they began to journey across the roof.
It was dark, nothing but the stars and dim lights of nearby buildings left to illuminate their bodies as they pressed closer together for warmth.
It was if their sides were magnetized, Rafael thought; the farther they walked, the less space remained between them for sharp blasts of cold wind to push their way through.
It was quiet, the constant din of New York City traffic laying far below their feet. The only sound Rafael heard was Sonny's breathing beside him and his own heart pounding all the way up in his ears.
Sonny stopped abruptly, his firm grip around Rafael's fingers the only thing that kept him from venturing on his path.
When he turned around, Sonny was stopped dead in his tracks, head tossed back, eyes peering up at the night sky. "It's so beautiful up here at this time," he said quietly, gaze still fixed upward, the moon's glow illuminating his sweet grin. "You can actually kinda see the stars when you're up here."
Rafael walked over to him and looked up, too. Sonny was right; it was beautiful.
Without the bright lights of the City to dim their natural radiance, it felt as if each of the stars had taken their individual light and, combined, had chosen to throw their glow onto them, serving only to burn for them and no one else.
He was pulled back down by Sonny shivering violently against him. Because of course he'd left his jacket downstairs.
Rafael shook his head, a chuckle escaping his lips as Sonny smiled sheepishly down at him. "S - sorry," he stammered out, skinny arms crisscrossed over his chest, an unsuccessful attempt to burrow farther into himself for warmth.
His sweater was thinner than Rafael had originally perceived, the navy knit clinging to the sharp edges of his narrow waist a faulty shield against the crisp tendrils of wind that licked at their skin.
"Here, you can wear mine," Rafael stated firmly, already peeling off the black pea coat that hung around his shoulders.
"W - what? No, counselor, I can't t - take your jacket, it's too - ".
"Yes, you can." Rafael cut him off before he could protest any further, wrapping the coat around his shoulders and enveloping Sonny in the thick fabric. "You're shivering. You're far too skinny to be out in this kind of weather without a jacket on. Besides, I'd rather not explain to your boss how you froze to death on my watch. Oh, and quit calling me counselor."
Sonny slid his arms hesitantly into the jacket, still looking as though he wanted to object. The fit was adorably off on him; he was too thin and lanky, the exact opposite of Rafael's own build.
His shoulders were broad, but not quite as built as Rafael's, causing the edges of the jacket to hang loosely around him. The arms of the coat, however, rested far above his wrists, the rest of his long arms draped loosely in the heavy material.
Rafael didn't hear any protesting, though, as Sonny nuzzled his nose into the jacket's collar. He knew, as soon as he saw Sonny breathe in once, deeply, that he was trying to smell Rafael, trying to smell the trace of aftershave that he'd left behind on the inside of the coat.
His heart twisted at the thought that Sonny was trying to get closer to him, in some way, even if it was through the scent that he'd left on his jacket.
Sonny was blushing now though, because Rafael was staring, cheeks burning a fiery red that had nothing to do with the blasts of icy air still tumbling across the roof.
Sonny just pulled the jacket tighter around him, nose still buried deep in the twisted fabric as he murmured, "It smells like you."
Rafael didn't think he'd ever heard anything sweeter.
He wanted to touch Sonny, wanted to brush his lips against the pink of his cheeks, wanted to run his hands up and down his sides, press his fingers into the small of his back.
Kiss him, like he'd wanted to all night, since Sonny had sidled up next to him and offered him that very first glass of eggnog.
Originally, he'd wanted to blame all of what he was feeling for the younger man on being plied with alcohol, on his emotions being heightened because it was Christmastime, and no one was anything less than joyful and loving around the holidays, even if they were grumpy district attorneys.
But in the frigid December air, with his jacket wrapped snugly around Sonny's thin frame, it was becoming harder and harder to accept that convenient truth.
So, Rafael decided to accept the reality and be bold.
Before he could dare once again, though, Sonny was beating him to the punch. "You wanna dance with me, couns - Rafael?"
He didn't let himself question it. Instead, he placed his palm gently in Sonny's offered hand and snaked his other arm around Sonny's narrow waist, bypassing the protection of his jacket and letting it rest against the detective's sweater.
Sonny began swaying slightly, side to side, pulling Rafael along with him.
He could feel every breath Sonny took tickling against his nose.
"Is this why you brought me all the way up here, so that you could dance with me?" Rafael teased, pressing his fingers deeper into Sonny's back.
Sonny shrugged, twirled them around in an off-kilter circle. "Sure, why not? Be honest, you never would've said yes to this downstairs."
Sonny was smirking, blue eyes sparkling in delight, because he knew he was speaking the truth.
Rafael never would've danced like this downstairs, in front of his colleagues, even if most of them were too drunk to make fun of him and would likely be eager to join in instead.
But up here, alone, with Sonny? Rafael would've never dared to say 'no'.
Sonny began humming then, as they continued to sway back and forth in their personal ballroom; it sounded like a cross between "I'll be Home for Christmas" and "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer", and Rafael would bet the entirety of his retirement savings that the blend wasn't on purpose.
"You're the only person I've ever met that can manage to make humming sound so off-tune," he gasped, laughing. Sonny scowled, pouting, which made him look perpetually twelve. "Hey, at least I'm trying here. I don't see you attempting to make any music."
Rafael smirked, and then began to sing. Maybe his opportunity to be bold hadn't passed.
It was only a few lines of the chorus of "White Christmas", but his eyes never strayed from Sonny's all the same.
When he was done, they had stopped dancing. Sonny's arms were still wrapped tightly around him, but their feet were no longer moving; Rafael wasn't sure how long they'd just been standing there, still, instead.
Sonny's large, large hands were traveling up Rafael's back before he even realized what was happening.
The lips that met his were cold, wind-bitten but still incredibly soft.
The hands on his back were firm, but gentle, long fingers spreading until they were completely covering his shoulder blades.
The nose pressed against his was prominent, but not distracting as they kissed, soft and sweet, nothing but lips and tongue meeting again and again as Rafael opened his mouth to let Sonny in.
Rafael thought that Sonny's tongue in his mouth was quite possibly the single greatest feeling he'd ever experienced.
Not only because it was incredibly hot, but because it was Sonny who was doing it, it was sweet and lovely Sonny who was licking his way into his mouth, pulling back every so often to peck tenderly at his lips.
When they both needed to breathe, Sonny was the one to initiate a pause, eyes warm and affectionate, a sweet, dimply smile overtaking his features.
Rafael thought he looked beautiful, the white moonlight framing him like a halo.
"Would you like to spend Christmas with me, Rafael? And maybe New Years, too?" he asked, all honesty and innocent hope as his fingers dug into Rafael's neck.
"Of course," Rafael answered, leaning up to pull Sonny's mouth back into his own.
Sonny had been pretty good at leading the way so far; Rafael figured it wouldn't do any harm to let him continue.