DISCLAIMER: SKIP BEAT! and its associated characters are the creations of Yoshiki Nakamura. This author claims no ownership of Skip Beat or any of its characters. All other rights reserved.

Word prompt: Iron

Irony is Lost On the LoveMon

Lory Takarada, Love Monster Extraordinaire, Defender of Romance, Chevalier of the Order of St. Valentine was either bored senseless or on absolute tenterhooks. He didn't know which. For the past year now, he'd had all of his hopes focused on what promised to be the Love Story to end all love stories. Better than his son's. Better than the Hizuris. Better, even, than the one he saw developing between his own granddaughter and the cranky offspring of a certain Japanese stage-combat master. The Story had it all—the setting…the characters…the plot twists. Oh yes. How could any of it go wrong?

He'd had a feeling as soon as he saw the ever-unusual Kyoko Mogami make a radish cabbage—err, rose—on the stage. True, his general policy was to reject those that rejected love, but…well. But. She was so extreme…so bright…so challenging. She didn't simper to her audience, but she'd been impossible to look away from. He'd found her compelling. And her backstory! A bona fide waif, fatherless and all but motherless. How many could claim to have been the jilted childhood friend of a bona fide rock star? How many could swear to gain revenge on the same stage…and actually have the talent to back it up? Her talent had been unmistakeable, but work ethic and her earnestness were what won him over. He hadn't expected Ren to fall for her—he'd thought it would be one of the sweeter, more naive boys on the scene—but he couldn't have chosen a better male lead for the proceedings. He'd seen it all flash before his eyes when he saw Ren's face during Dark Moon. What better partner for a girl with a heartbreaking past than a boy with a heartbreaking past? It was a premise straight out of the very best otome games.

Their mutual regard was well established by now—he'd seen it for himself. Ren was an easy read, after all. That boy's affections had been written on his face before he'd even known what hit him. Lory was sure other people had seen it. Hadn't he seen Ogata and Momose exchange significant glances every time Mio and Katsuki went off to talk on their own? He would have had doubts about Kyoko, but the girl had confessed. There had been tears. There had been vows. Something about going to hell before confessing. Or something.

Whatever.

It had been delicious.

But for weeks now, nothing had happened. What was going on?

There was certainly enough going on to make the love story worth his continued attention. He could feel the drama brewing—no sooner had that news article with Kana hit the presses than there had been that confrontation at TBM. He'd known the Kana story was fake immediately—he knew Kana's situation all too well. But Kyoko…Kyoko wouldn't have known. He'd had front row seats. He'd seen her reaction. Kyoko, with that outraged, aggrieved look on her face; Ren, puzzled, looking at her with his heart in his eyes. He'd had to spell things out to Ren that day, but there should have been more. MORE drama. MORE angst!

And yet…the two of them were attending those rehearsals as if absolutely nothing had happened between them. They were collegial, certainly. She was as polite to him as ever, though Lory could see she appeared to be closer and more casual with other actors like Koga-kun. Why wasn't Ren more upset about that? Lory figured Ren would be terribly possessive once he got going, and yet everyone on-set was calling Kyoko "Kyoko-chan" while he persisted in calling her "Mogami-san." He refused to believe that Kyoko was unaffected by the gossip of Ren dating Kana. How could a girl who loved so fiercely simply stand by and watch the object of her affection ignore her?

And as for Ren…

Lory groaned.

He'd even gone so far as to engineer Kyoko's skimpy costume with Yuki-kun…with barely a peep from Ren. Didn't the boy have eyes? Lory knew he wasn't impervious to her—he remembered how his eyes had nearly popped out of his head the first time he'd seen Setsu. And what had the boy done? Kept his face utterly impassive, tepidly agreeing with Yashiro's praise. Any girl besides Kyoko would have despaired of ever gaining his attention with behavior like that.

He was going to have to ask Yashiro to ensure Ren spent more time with Kyoko. More English lessons, perhaps. Of course he knew Ren wouldn't need English tutoring—but the opportunity to spend time with Kyoko had been dropped into his lap. Why wasn't the idiot taking advantage of it?

It was all moving much too slowly.

If he'd been reading a script, he would've told the writer to pick up the pace. Things were getting boring. Narrative tension was all well and good, but one had to move things along sooner rather than later lest one lose one's audience.

But alas. He had no one to complain to. There was no script to edit. He was at the mercy of two idiots-in-love, and neither one of them had the sense to move things along at a decent clip.

Perhaps there was a secret lever he needed to push. Some secret command or choice to be made on some hidden menu.

There was always something to be done.

=.=.=

"Are you sure Ren doesn't need additional English tutoring, Yashiro-san?" Lory was asking.

Yashiro gave him a look. He'd been asked to attend to the Shachou in his LME offices, sans Ren Tsuruga. It was an unusual request. For years now, Ren had been part and parcel of all his discussions with the President. "Takarada-san, I'm sure you know that Tsuruga-san speaks English perfectly well."

"Well, you know," Lory winked. "A little more practice can't hurt him, right?"

Yashiro raised an eyebrow. "Oh?" He'd suspected for some time now that the President hadn't bought the news about Kana. He had to snicker to himself—it was the height of irony, really, to try and throw together two people who had already confessed to each other. Whatever Ren was calling it, the affection between the two was obvious to those that knew what they were looking for. He and Kotonami-san could see it, plain as day. There was a certain synchronicity between them that hadn't been there before. Even the way they avoided each other was oddly…in sync. The fact that Lory hadn't realized it was perhaps a testament to the acting prowess of Ren Tsuruga and Kyoko Mogami. They might occasionally walk into and out of rehearsal together—there was no reason to avoid doing that in front of others who had no reason to suspect them. But whenever Lory was on-set, they were particularly careful never to be in the same place at the same time.

"Come now, Yashiro-san," Lory said. "Surely you know how much Ren loves to practice in preparation for a role."

"Of course, Shachou," Yashiro answered. "I'll be sure to bring it up. Of course, he may not have much time, what with his competing priorities."

"What could be a higher priority than preparing for his American debut?" Lory asked.

He's really, *really* trying hard, Yashiro thought. For a second he considered disabusing Lory of his delusion. Perhaps it would stop the man from putting together another insane plan to throw the two together.

Though.

Would that really be a terrible thing? He wanted those two together—officially—as badly as the President did, didn't he?

Yashiro left the meeting considering the fact that it would not be so bad for Lory to put whatever crazy plan he had into motion.

=.=.=

Weeks.

It had been weeks. Weeks with no progress. Weeks with no change.

To oblige him, Ren had attended one or two of Kyoko's study sessions. Lory had watched the class himself. He knew that Ren and Kyoko had spent months speaking entirely English to each other as the Heel siblings, so he wasn't surprised when Kyoko gave Ren a puzzled look when he'd entered the room.

Ren had acquitted himself well—of course he had. Too well. Well enough that it was obvious to everyone in the room that he hadn't needed the tutoring at all. He'd spoken English well enough that it would have been weird for him to continue attending sessions with people who were still struggling with the word "Library."

Lory sighed.

More extreme measures were needed, apparently.

He hunkered down to make some calls. Something had to give.

=.=.=

"You wanted to see me, Shachou?" Kyoko said innocently. She'd just left practice, was dressed in her sweetly fashionable street clothes. She'd made a point of not saying goodbye to Ren as she left the set.

Ren had told her that Yashiro suspected the President would do something soon. "The LoveMon is getting anxious," he'd told her a few weeks ago. "I'm sure he's going to try something drastic."

"Drastic like what?" she'd asked him.

"Drastic like Cain-and-Setsu drastic," he responded.

He'd smiled that smile at her and she had no doubt that she'd blushed wildly. Neither of them had forgotten the things that had transpired between them as the Heels, and both of them knew exactly what Lory had hoped to accomplish in throwing them together in such a shameless fashion. The man had been playing them like a game from the very start. Kyoko had never told Ren that she'd confessed to Lory. To do so would be to admit that Lory had won on some level—and neither one of them were willing to let Lory know that he'd already won his game.

So here she was, watching Lory sitting at his desk. Dressed like an ancient Chinese emperor, no less, complete with a phalanx of would-be concubines.

"I have a new LoveMe task for you, Mogami-san," he said cryptically. "I know that you're currently on hiatus for Lotus and for Box R, correct?"

"Yes, Shachou," she said cheerfully. "What is the new assignment?" Here it is, she thought to herself.

"I am going to need you to go overseas with the Route actors," he said. "You'll be the personal assistant to Tsuruga-san and, to a lesser extent, to Kotonami-san."

She jumped at the chance. She smiled—she couldn't help it. To go overseas with the people she loved best in this world—it was a dream, really. She knew that it wasn't an acting role, but she would get to work in the vicinity of one of the most prestigious directors in Hollywood and some of the world's most renowned producers. The networking would be key in landing future roles. Perhaps she could go on auditions there, too.

"I would love to—" she began.

But Lory wasn't done. "And, Mogami-san—" He paused for dramatic effect. "I'm going to task you with introducing Tsuruga-san to Kuu Hizuri. In fact, I'm going to have you stay at the Hizuri household with Ren as their guest. I believe Tsuruga-san would benefit from getting to know Kuu and from receiving the same mentorship you've received."

Ah. So there it was. Kyoko had to keep herself from giggling. Ren…or Kuon, as she now called him privately, had confessed some weeks ago about his parentage…his origins…and his home. He'd told her everything—how troubled his childhood was, how he'd fled in horror over Rick's death…how lonely he'd been as a young actor in Japan. Most importantly, he'd confessed to being Corn. The revelations had been hard, but she'd been grateful to finally understand the nature of the things that had haunted him throughout their long acquaintance. And in telling her these secrets, they'd become closer, too. Neither one of them had said anything out loud. Officially, they were merely friends. But the unspoken understanding between them went far deeper than it had before. Deeper than Kyoko would ever admit to—and she knew Kuon felt the same.

Takarada-san had no idea. He was still playing his game.

"It would be my pleasure to introduce Tsuruga-senpai to Hizuri-san, Shachou," she told him. She said it earnestly. Innocently, even. And then she smiled. "I'm sure Otou-san will give him interesting acting assignments, like he did for me—maybe he'll teach him how to be Kuon."

She saw Lory give a little start and stifled more giggles. She'd have to save them for when she saw Kuon later.

Someday, she was sure Lory would laugh with them too.

=.=.=.=

Author's Note: So…every week, some of the Skip Beat fic authors have been getting together to do these random word-prompt challenges. NCISduckie's been hosting the server and the challenge in general. Some of us are doing one-hour sprints with an eye to completing an entire story in that hour, including yours truly. I usually draft the fic and then spend another half-hour or so editing it and cleaning it up. All this to say…if things feel rushed (or half-baked...)…it might be because they are. Ah hahaha. Hahah. Hahahaha. But uh. I hope it was an enjoyable read, regardless. Thank you, if you've made it this far! Let me know what you think if you're so inclined…because reviews = dopamine, and everyone needs more dopamine.

Love,
Parkerbear.