Downton Abbey,
January 17th 1920
1 am.
Thomas was tip-toeing through the hallways of Downton, careful to not make the floor creek beneath his feet. Over his arm he was carrying his suit as a safety measure, in case he would not be able to sneak out in the morning, so he could dress himself and simply pretend Matthew had called on him early. Thomas Barrow was sneaking through the house towards Matthew — just like they had planned this morning when Matthew, finally, had settled into the room. A new life that awaited the two of them. No more cold nights or uncomfortable sheds, now they had a warm bed for their nights of passion and company.
He found the door and opened it without knocking and, in the light of a lamp, sat Matthew Crawley with a book in his lap. Their eyes met and they were both in disbelief for a moment, that here they were — everything seemed to have fallen into place. They were together again, they could be seen together, travel together — all under the disguise of Thomas being Matthew's valet.
Matthew closed the book and put it aside, Thomas tossed his suit on the ground, and in the middle of the room they met. "My Darling" Matthew whispered as he came to caress Thomas' cheeks with his fingertips.
"My Matthew" Thomas whispered back and rested his forehead to Matthew's as he began unbuttoning Matthew's shirt. "Let me see you fully…"
Matthew laughed and began removing Thomas' clothes as well, slipping his blazer off and feeling his shoulders and arms in the process. He shuddered by just touching this man, just feeling his muscles through the shirt was enough to cause Matthew to crave Thomas — then again just the sight of the valet did that to Matthew as well. They undressed each other slowly for there was no need to rush. They didn't need to hurry before morning came, they didn't need to trample through the forest and lose sleep. They could be here in Matthew's room, together at last.
Thomas took a step back once they were both undressed and he just let his eyes wander over Matthew's body. Every inch of him was perfectly constructed. His body was perfectly made to be pressed against Thomas'. His chest breathed so perfectly where he stood and the blush upon Matthew's cheek was the sweetest thing in Thomas' eyes. There were no faults on this man, not to Thomas and, anyone who disagreed with him, was a fool. It felt like they finally had all the time in the world to take each other in. There was no war outside the door, no long forest walks to steal time from them. In the world there were just the two of them.
"You're so beautiful" Thomas said and gripped Matthew's behind, pulling him close and hoisted him up as they began a long and tender kiss. Matthew's arms were around Thomas' neck and Thomas' arms held him firmly under his buttocks. There was hunger in them alright, there always was, but this time it was a hunger for nothing but love and tenderness. That one night in the forest of their reunion hadn't been enough and the days inbetween hadn't allowed them more than stolen kisses, a quick hand to Matthew's groyne, and a brief walk. Now they had all the time they could possibly have, all the time two men like them were allowed to have — and they had it better than most.
Matthew's nose rubbed over Thomas's each time they tilted their heads with the kiss. His fingers tickled the nape of Thomas' neck. He was so unbelievably in love his whole heart screamed. What a fool he had been to condemn this, what a fool he had been to think something like this to be a sin. What a fool Matthew Crawley had been for throwing Thomas away when all he had wanted was him. A laugh escaped Matthew's lips when Thomas spun them around and around on his feet, holding on tighter to the man he loved and then they fell sideways onto the bed and their kiss broke.
Matthew settled with one leg over Thomas' waist, and Thomas' hand came to stroke his thigh slowly. Matthew's index finger came to trace down Thomas' forehead, over his nose, his lips and his chin before moving up his incredible jawline and cheekbones.
"Have I ever expressed how handsome you are, Thomas Barrow?" Matthew said and saw a small blush form on Thomas' cheek, something so incredibly rare that Matthew couldn't imagine that Thomas had never blushed much in his adult life. "I cannot seem to fathom just how stunning you are, my darling."
Thomas' hand ran up Matthew's thigh and to his hip to let his thumb stroke over the bone. "Summer-sky eyes, I have never — nor will I ever — see anything as breathtaking as you." Thomas shuffled his body closer to Matthew's and touched their noses together.
"Summer-sky eyes?" Matthew said with a smile as his palm came to rest on Thomas' cheek.
"That's what your eyes are, blue like the summer sky" Thomas said and smiled. "Like the month of your birth, blue like a July sky"
Matthew's heart felt overfilled with love for this man and he could not believe the sweet words that fell from Thomas' lips. "My darling, how could I have ever pushed you away? God, I acted like a fool" Matthew whispered while his eyes welled up with guilt for the pain he had caused Thomas. "I am so sor—"
Thomas silenced him by kissing his lower lip and chin "You already apologised, and you have been forgiven" Thomas said and pulled Matthew into an embrace. "You're here, my heart is unbroken"
"I wish it never had been broken to start with." Matthew said and buried his face into Thomas' neck where he breathed in his scent. He felt the soothing caresses of Thomas' hand to his head. He should be comforting Thomas after all the horrid things he had said, but instead here was his unkind footman — no, valet — being so kind to him. "How — how could I even try to take it all away— How did I ever think it was —"
"There is nothing wrong with you, my Matthew—" Thomas whispered into his lover's ear. " — we are not wrong, our love is not wrong."
"I know that now…" Matthew pulled away, glancing into Thomas' comforting eyes "For you I have to risk it all, because without you I cannot breath, I cannot be — you're the heart in me, the very blood in my veins." Matthew kissed Thomas slowly, then they paused, lying there looking at each other with their lips still pressed together.
Thomas let his finger trace down Matthew's back — dancing in circles over the skin. There would never be another love in Thomas' life, no one else who he'd give his heart to. Matthew's name was the only one that would leave Thomas' lips.
"I forgot to mention to you — " Thomas then said as he suddenly remembered the interaction between him and Robert " — that the morning after the servants' ball, Lord Grantham thanked me for saving your life, he even shook my hand."
Matthew raised his eyebrow for a second then his expression relaxed and he nodded "I am glad he did, because of his judgement of you being my care-giver."
Thomas shrugged "I was not surprised at that, since Sybil told me they know about how I'm wired but ignore it."
"Still, you know it wounded me when he tried to gossip about the man I loved, but it seems like he's changed his tune." Matthew said and then took a deep breath " — Thomas, do you think we can ever be as casual as your friendship with Sybil in this house?"
Thomas just shook his head. "Darling, sadly it is very different between you and me —"
Matthew nodded. He had known that that would be the answer " — she is no heir to the estate."
" — and she is not the one I love, even if Daisy did speculate at one point about that, I fear that, with Lord and Lady Grantham still in the house and you not the Earl yet, it would be rather unacceptable." Thomas said sadly and pulled Matthew closer to him. "It's better to act how Bates and Lord Grantham act — friends, but still as valet and Lord."
"And even if anyone would have thought that of you and Sybil, there would not be a cell awaiting you, just dismissal." Matthew sighed out and let himself be embraced tighter by Thomas. "But this is freedom for us, my dearest darling, that you can be in my room and arms."
With those words they said nothing more on the subject and, instead, Matthew's hand slipped down Thomas' chest, over his stomach and then thigh. He touched the scar there from the war and, then, it moved up again — closer to what laid between Thomas' legs.
The valet swallowed thickly, letting the softest of noise leave his lips. Matthew then began tracing up and down the strip of hair from Thomas' navel to the base of his cock. Whimpers formed in Thomas's throat that rolled over his tongue, past his lips, and into Matthew's mouth. Matthew swallowed the quiet sounds. He paid attention to every reaction from Thomas that his exploring fingers caused. They traced past Thomas' shaft, over the inside of his thigh and gently grazed over Thomas' balls. Every little twitch, every little noise — small or large — was registered by Matthew — he was learning exactly where to touch Thomas to make him feel the most pleasure. When his fingertips came to touch Thomas' cock Matthew got the first complete moan out of him. Matthew was driving Thomas insane, but it felt so good to just lie here, worshipping and exploring his body and he was making Thomas grow hard with nothing but a gentle caress.
Thomas badly wanted to make love to Matthew, bring him to a slow completion, but he wanted Matthew to keep touching all of him with those soft fingertips that were now moving over Thomas' hips. His nose scrunched up, his breath turned slightly more ragged, and he let out a gasp when Matthew's fingers began circling over his lower back. Thomas' hold on Matthew's neck turned a bit firmer, his eyes closed and then he let out a moan when Matthew's fingers walked over his arsecrack.
Matthew would never forget this sight in his entire life and he almost couldn't believe that it was him causing Thomas to react so delicately, and yet so sensually, to his every touch. Matthew saw Thomas' face twitch slightly, he heard the moans grow louder from the moment Matthew pushed his fingers past his cheeks and began stroking his entrance. Matthew didn't push his fingers in, not only because they were dry, but because he liked how this caused Thomas' hips to squirm. Matthew felt his own erection twitch when Thomas trembled against him. "Make love to me, Thomas Barrow" Matthew whispered.
Thomas didn't need to be told twice, but he wanted to. "What was that?" Thomas said and ghosted his lips over Matthew's.
"Make love to me" Matthew said again and swallowed hard, as his throat was now completely dry. Thomas smiled and then kissed the corner of Matthew's mouth. Thomas turned Matthew around, so he was still on his side, but with his back to Thomas' chest. Thomas began to softly kiss over Matthew's shoulders, his shoulder blades, back of his neck, while his scarred hand slowly massaged Matthew's cheeks, his finger moved down, over the path between Matthew's balls and arse, causing those addictive moans to be heard, the ones Thomas wanted to drink himself drunk on.
"In the nightstand—drawer" Matthew said and licked his lips. Of course he had prepared, he was not so foolish, he knew what nights in here would bring. Thomas nodded but didn't stop his touches to Matthew right away. He pushed his hand between Matthew's thighs, pressing his palms to his balls and squeezed them gently. When Matthew tilted his head to the side, in search of Thomas' lips, that was when the touches stopped and Thomas moved to reach for the tub in the drawer. As soon as he had it in his hand he returned to press his chest to Matthew's back and his lips to his temple.
"I was made to find you—" He whispered and stuck his fingers into the sticky substance. " — I was made to be with you, Matthew Crawley—" Thomas spoke soft words of love as two of his fingers slowly entered Matthew. " — and I thank the night we kissed." He kept speaking so sweetly to Matthew while his fingers prepared him and caused moans to erupt into the room.
Matthew didn't need that long to feel ready, he had felt ready even before Thomas' fingers, but they felt so good he wanted them for a bit longer "My heart, my darling…" He said with every groan of pleasure. It was unbearable how in love he was with Thomas Barrow.
Thomas snuck one arm underneath Matthew and wrapped it around his shoulders. He gripped Matthew's hand and laced their fingers together. He removed his fingers to coat his erection with the rest of the vaseline and then he brought it to Matthew's entrance. It felt as wonderful as ever, something Thomas would never grow weary of. Soon he was fully inside of Matthew and Thomas' other arm wrapped around Matthew, it rested against his chest, and he held the man as close to him as he could.
Matthew's head lifted and he turned it to his side so their lips entangled together. Their bodies began a slow motion in unison; moving apart and together in a gorgeous synchronisation. They didn't speed up, they didn't start wild thrusts. They stayed just like that, holding onto each other with their lips sealed in a kiss. They moaned into each other's mouths, they sweated together, but every rocking movement of their bodies stayed as slow and sweet as they had begun. They gave each other exactly what they wanted; a long moment of love.
Heaven was reached that night, in their own little haven, and it elevated them both to a different time and world. Matthew gripped Thomas hand tighter, until his knuckles became white, his breathing became uneven — and the same happened to Thomas. Their bodies trembled together, their orgasms built up in the same sensational way at the same time. Matthew tightened around Thomas, Thomas moaned Matthew's name and came. Matthew let out muffled wails as he stained the sheets with his seed, Thomas deepened the kiss to silence himself the best he could as he spilled himself inside of Matthew and filled him up; claiming him as his own.
Matthew sighed with content as they laid together in his bed, cheek to cheek, and his eyes watched their fingers play around. They hadn't moved since their climax, nor were they planning on doing so.
"Next week we shall be in Manchester." Matthew asked and
Thomas nodded. "And there I will be able to smoke after making love to you again—" He said and let out a tired laugh "—so don't say I never gave up anything for you either, Matthew Crawley."
Matthew let out a chuckle followed by a yawn. Quickly they both just succumbed to the feeling of falling asleep in the same bed again.