Downton Abbey,
January 23rd 1920

"Mr Barrow, where are you going?" Mr Carson asked as Thomas made his way for the exit in the servants' hall.

"I'm going down to the village to fetch some things for Mr Crawley for his trip tomorrow, Mr Carson" Thomas answered "He asked me to, he doesn't need me for a little while."

"Mind if I come with you, Mr Barrow?" Maud said, catching Thomas by surprise.

"You have work to do, Maud." Mrs Carson said.

" — and I'd rather kiss Mrs Patmore than walk you to the village" Thomas said with detestable eyes and Mrs Patmore emerged from the kitchen and slapped Thomas with her kitchen towel.

"Like I would let you make a pass at me, Mr Barrow!" She said "Where's your manners?"

"I think you'd love a snog from me" Thomas said and puckered his lips in the cook's direction but was only met with a tea towel to the face.

"Mr Barrow, that is no way for a valet to behave" Mr Carson said disapprovingly "Now be off with you" he waved at Thomas dismissively.

"See you tonight then, Mrs Patmore." Thomas said cheekily "Same spot as before" He then rushed out the door and slammed it behind him, before either Mrs Patmore or Mr Carson could give him an earful.

Maud sat wondering to herself why Thomas rejected her so badly — she was rather pretty, she wasn't too stupid and she showed a true interest in him. One moment his words could be so vile, the next he could be absolutely humorous — Thomas was a mysterious man indeed and that just aggravated her desires. It had mostly started as a challenge from hearing how she would never be able to seduce Thomas Barrow, but now it had turned to her being soft for him and wanting him the more he pushed her away. It would also make her respectable in people's eyes, being courted by a valet at Downton. There were no other valets available, other than Mr Molesley, but he was far too old and somewhat of a joke to her. While Thomas held poise, charm, height, wit and he was very handsome — if only she could figure out what kind of girl he would fancy then she could be that for him. Maybe she could do some digging, maybe she could sneak into his room while he was gone to try and find out more about the mysterious Thomas Barrow.

"You don't seem too bothered with how he speaks to you." Alfred said to Maud.

"Oh no, I'm used to getting what I want — eventually" Maud fixed her maid uniform a little, keeping an eye out to make sure Mrs Hughes had not entered the room as she tried to avoid the housekeeper at all cost — especially now, with what Maud was planning to do.

"With a beautiful face like yours, I am not surprised" Alfred said and smiled at Maud "If you go off Mr Barrow, maybe you and I can have a go at it." He said boldly and Maud just shrugged.

As she walked out of the room and on her way to the servants' quarters, Anna caught up to her, and gave her more work to do. It was a little bit of a walk, to the village and back, so Maud wasn't too concerned that Thomas would be back so soon, but she still tried to finish with haste.

"So Cousin Matthew is going to Manchester in the morning" Mary spoke without looking up from her book in her lap. She held a teacup in one hand and used the other to flip the page she had just finished.

"Yes, he is going to a solicitor friend to draw up the deeds and other important papers for him to become co-manager" Robert said from the armchair he sat in, looking at Mary from the top of the newspaper he was reading.

"And he's bringing Barrow, how strange" She said, taking a sip from the tea, and trying to sound as nonchalant as possible — but the dinner the other week had given her some thoughts.

"How is that strange? Barrow is his valet." Lady Edith said and looked at Mary rather bemusingly. "I am sure cousin Matthew has the need to be dressed, even in Manchester."

"Strange how he keeps requesting Thomas to work for him, even dares to steal him away from you" Mary turned her head and looked at her father, ignoring her sister, with a stone cold expression.

"What are you insinuating?" Robert said and pulled the newspaper from his face completely and looked at Mary with irritated eyes.

"Nothing at all, it's just curious, that is all." Mary said with a little smile before her head rolled back to its former position.

"They served in a war together." Robert said and folded the paper up.

"Yes yes" Mary said tiresomely "We know, they served in a war, and so did you and Mr Bates but I can't for the life of me understand how that can make you so attached to someone as your valet."

"Be silent Mary!" Robert snapped at his daughter as he now understood very well what she was hinting at about Matthew. "You are clueless of what you're speaking of, you have no idea what they suffered in those trenches or what bond that forms."

Mary looked taken aback with the harsh tone of his father, Edith seemed to be possibly glowing with glee as she sipped her tea.

"Do you think me that way, too, because I will employ Bates again once he's released? Or because Thomas was my valet?" Robert was absolutely fuming, from how Mary dared suggesting that his heir was bent that way, and his words caused Mr Carson to inhale deeply behind him. "Besides, there is more to it than you know, so you better hold your tongue, and not spread rumours without any grounds, especially rumours so damaging and criminal."

"I am sorry papa but I just find it a bit—-" Mary said but Robert cut her off.

"I will hear no more of this slander towards both Matthew and Barrows' character." He said and Mary fell silent. Even if everyone knew about Thomas, it was absolutely not something to be spoken about — and Robert did not want his heir, nor the man who had saved him, to face prison because of his daughter spreading gossip about them.

Her father's defence towards Matthew she understood, but she had never recalled him holding Thomas in high regards — other than how he had been the caregiver for Matthew — which Mary had still not gotten over, that Matthew had chosen to be cared for at his house over Downton. She had not quite put Matthew in the past yet and the rejection she had felt.

"I'm afraid I quite agree with Robert" Old Lady Grantham said, holding onto her cane with one hand "This is not a topic suitable for discussions, Mary"

Mary rolled her eyes at being pestered from both her grandmother and father. "Alright, alright!" She said in a childlike tantrum and rose from the sofa. With quick steps, and her dress flowing behind her, Mary left the room.

Violet Crawley let out a scoff at her grandchild's exit. "She's like a child crying over a toy she broke herself." Old Lady Grantham shook her head.

"You did have some help in breaking that toy though, mama, telling her to lie to Matthew." Robert said, with some sympathy for his oldest daughter.

"Exactly, and she is the one who told him the truth about that." Violet said with a side eye towards Robert, daring him to say another word — but no one did.

Edith was still sitting there with a smile on her lips when Cora Crawley came to join them in the drawing room, apologising for the hold up, Mr Carson came with a cup of tea for Lady Grantham.

"My lord, the new footman arrives tomorrow morning" He said when he handed her Ladyship her tea and began retreating to his former position closer to the wall.

"Thank you, Mr Carson, and let's not take this unpleasant conversation past these doors." Robert said.

Mr Carson gave a nod "Of Course, Your Lordship." Of course the butler did not wish to spread such a topic further — it would be quite scandalous upon the family he served if Thomas Barrow's ways were the talk of the village.

Maud closed the door behind her and now stood in Thomas Barrow's room. She smiled to herself and took a little walk around. It looked as neat and presentable as the valet himself. Nothing seemed out of order but, of course, footmen were drilled from an early age to keep everything presentable — so it didn't surprise Maud that a former footman held his own room to the same standards. There was nothing, at first glance, to let Maud know what kind of girl would make Thomas soft. She opened his closet and looked at the small amount of clothes that hung neatly within. She frowned a little bit at the sight of a suit that stuck out to her. It was dirty with large stains — the suit he had worn on the servants' ball when he had refused to ask Maud to dance and simply disappeared from the festivities. She had felt quite jealous towards Anna. and even the dowager countess herself, for dancing with who she wanted to claim as hers.

She closed the closet and then walked over to the nightstand where two books were laid. 'The Picture of Dorian Gray' and one called 'History Of Photography' by someone named Dr Josef Maria Eder. Maud had read neither of them, nor heard of Dr Eder, but clearly Thomas liked sophistications and smarts — or at least, that is what she gathered from the books he owned.

Maud then proceeded to open the nightstand drawer, in her search for more information, and saw a large stack of letters addressed to Thomas. She took it out, untied it, and opened the first letter. It was from Lady Sybil and it caused Maud to frown — was this why he wouldn't go out with her? Was he soft for Lady Sybil even though she had run away to Ireland with a chauffeur? But the letter seemed to be nothing but friendly, not romantic at all. Maud folded it up and was about to toss the stack back into the nightstand when she saw a second, much larger, pile of letters that were even more carefully tied together. She squinted her eyes, they were all for Thomas as well, and then below the pile she saw what looked like a photograph, she couldn't see who it was in it — but an army hat stuck up from the top of it. When she was about to reach and grab it she heard the loud voice of Miss O'Brien go "Mr Barrow!"

Maud tossed the stack back into the nightstand and her heart pounded out of her chest. If Thomas caught her in here, all of her chances were gone. She cracked the door and saw Thomas' back to her, with a large box in his hands. She sighed in relief. Quietly she stepped out of the room and closed the door behind her, then she hurried down the hallway and away in the opposite direction.

"I was just wondering if perhaps you could help Alfred find his way, as a valet" O'Brien said.

Thomas raised his eyebrows at her. "As a valet?"

"It would be great if you could, so he could take care of the guests when they arrive, he's such a keen lad" O'Brien knew what was about to come but she wanted it confirmed; that their friendship had been sullied from Thomas' high horse that he rode upon in the hallways.

"To help him skip all that we all had to crawl through? That I had to crawl through?" Thomas said and put the large box he was holding underneath his armpit "No O'Brien, I don't think so, besides I don't think he has what it takes to be a valet, not even for the drunk down the pub." With those words Thomas left and walked back to his room.

O'Brien stood there with a stare and felt nothing but resentment towards Thomas — How could he do this, after everything she had ever done for him? Now that he was high and mighty he refused to aid her nephew in rising in position. But if something were to happen to Thomas Barrow there would be a position open and a way for Alfred to rise up the ranks, and O'Brien would have the pleasure of knocking him down from where Thomas thought he sat so secure. All she needed was the help of her nephew and the maid that, surely, would be heartbroken when she learned about Thomas being a nancy boy. Her smile turned dark and she walked in the direction towards Maud's room and stopped to knock on her door.

"Maud, it's Miss O'Brien" She heard feet against the floor and the door opening slowly, there stood Maud, looking flustered. "In the habit of searching through people's rooms are we?" O'Brien said.

"I don't know what you mean Miss O'Brien." Maud tried to say innocently.

"Of course you don't, silly girl" O'Brien said and pushed in the door, Maud stumbled backwards in her steps and looked a bit terrified. "Mr Barrow will never be soft on you, I can tell you as much."

"I don't know what you mean." Maud said again, anxiously at the door.

"I know so because he's not bent that way, he's a bugger, a pansy" O'Brien said, she truly didn't care that much about who Thomas did or didn't kiss, but this was the way to bring him down — to send him off to jail.

"He can't be…." Maud said in disbelief.

"Oh he is — " O'Brien began saying but Maud stood up and shook her head.

"Get out, Miss O'Brien, right now" She demanded and turned her back to the lady's maid.

Maud heard the door eventually close and she let out a heavy breath. She refused to believe what O'Brien had said. Thomas Barrow couldn't be like that, could he ? Maud ran a hand through her hair and sat down on her bed with her thoughts running wild. Surely, he wasn't…. but it made Maud think and she did not like thinking about it, not one bit.

O'Brien stood outside the maid's room and she wasn't too bothered with the reaction. She was confident that Maud would come to her senses and realise exactly why everyone discouraged her against Thomas.

Thomas had noticed something being off in his room. Something just felt a bit different, his closet doors were not properly closed, his books were pushed aside. He had the strange feeling that someone had been in here. His eyes were drawn to his nightstand and he saw that the drawer was not pushed all the way in. Thomas' heart sped up, surely it was just his mistake, wasn't it? He must have forgotten to close it the other day when he had been unable to stay in Matthew's room and looked for comfort in the photograph of Matthew in his uniform. Thomas put the box on top of his bed and, with a trembling hand, he pulled the drawer out.

On top laid his letters, the letters from Sybil, that hid the ones sent from Matthew during the war. Though the first letter's seal flap had been pulled out from the bottom flap. Thomas would never do such a thing, nor would he lay letters from a true friend down so carelessly. With deep breaths he picked up the stack from Sybil, and he feared that the ones from Matthew were gone — but he was relieved to see them still neatly tied together in their pile. At least they hadn't been touched. But who would enter his room and search? His thoughts instantly went to O'Brien and that bloody nephew of hers. Of course, that's why she had been speaking so loudly to him. Thomas was no fool, O'Brien had warned someone down the hall — and that someone must have been Alfred.

If she wished to be petty and find something to bring Thomas down on then Thomas surely was not going to stand idly by. For now, however, he needed to hide the letters and photograph somewhere else. He opened the box and he placed all his letters from both Sybil and Matthew inside. He reached for the photograph and, as Thomas held it in his hand, he let his eyes linger for just a moment. Thomas couldn't help it, but every time he saw it he smiled. He was reminded of that day, behind the crates, when Matthew had handed him it and told Thomas he was enough. Even if he hadn't truly felt it until the servants' ball, he now knew the words had been true and they both had suffered enough already. Thomas put the photograph in the box and closed it. He left the room and saw the clock in the end of the hall; it was perfect timing since he needed to dress Matthew for dinner.

He turned the corner, walked down the steps, through the hallways and he knocked on the door. The wonderful voice of Matthew told him to enter and when Thomas did he saw Matthew sit by his desk, reading through some papers, with his bags on the bed — ready and already packed.

"If you keep insisting on packing your clothes and dressing yourself, I might consider myself a lady of the night, because I see no other reason for paying me." Thomas said and Matthew chuckled from where he sat with a pen between his fingers and said fingers pressed to his temple.

"I also pay you to go pick up undignified letters sent to me by a secret lover, that would be highly shocking to my dear mother if she were to find them." Matthew put the papers down and spun his legs around on the chair. "I am sorry, I know I need to let you do your work — now come here, my darling" Matthew held his arms out and Thomas came at his beckoning, after setting his box upon the bed. Thomas sat himself down on Matthew's lap and they shared an embrace. Both men inhaled each other and then shared a few sweet kisses.

"Did you do alright in the village?" Matthew asked and pushed a few out of place hairs from Thomas' forehead and back into formation with his gelled down hair.

"I got your letters and picked up a new suit for myself" Thomas said and gave Matthew a slight smile "but the trouble was when I came back, I think someone was in my room"

Matthew frowned at Thomas "Someone was in your room?"

Thomas nodded "There was a letter in my nightstand that was opened — No don't worry—" He added quickly, seeing the sudden burst of panic in Matthew's face. " — it was one from Sybil that, luckily, didn't mention anything of you and I."

Despite this, Matthew's face was of deep concern as he glanced out the window next to his desk. He came to lean backwards in his chair where he rested his elbow on the armrests and his cheek leaned against his fist. "Who would do that?"

Thomas got up from Matthew's lap and walked to the wardrobe to fetch Matthew's tailcoat for dinner. "O'Brien and her giant oaf of a nephew." Thomas said through gritted teeth and hung the tailcoat on the dresser before he took out Matthew's shoes.

"I thought Miss O'Brien was the one person you got along with downstairs, other than Mrs Hughes." Matthew rose from the chair to walk over to Thomas who was taking Matthew's clothes out with a clear frustration — the drawers slammed a little bit too hard, the shoes stood a bit askew on the floor, and he grumbled under his breath as he tried to find the right cuffs.

"We began falling out during the war, now she thinks I won't help her nephew because I act all high and mighty now that I'm your valet." Thomas said, still trying to decide on the cuffs.

"I don't recall you mentioning this to me — and you mean to say that you don't act that way?" Matthew questioned Thomas whose anger flared up. He spun around with furrowed eyebrows and a scowl upon his face.

"So what if I am? I have earned my right to be so!" Thomas kept his voice lowered but the anger was just as powerful nonetheless. "I have fought since the day I came here, and in the end this job is the only job I have!" Thomas inhaled deeply, his chest was heaving, and he snatched up a pair of cufflinks for Matthew. "They can have their marriages, friendships, cottages with children but at the end of the day, this is all that I am, this is all that keeps me with you and— "

Matthew reached out and touched Thomas' arms, the valet at first pulled away, but Matthew touched him again. "Alright, my heart, Alright" He said soothingly to Thomas with the understanding of why it was rough on Thomas when Matthew did it all by himself — this was the only life Thomas have had, outside of the army. "To me though, you could be so much more." He said and pulled Thomas in for a tight embrace.

Thomas relaxed slightly when he felt Matthew holding him. Though Matthew said to Thomas he could be more, he didn't know what that 'more' would be. He had no greater education awaiting him and no other line of work he was trained to do — other than clocks. But Thomas didn't wish to follow in his father's footsteps, he was a servant and a servant he would remain. At least here he had Matthew, and with Matthew he could travel as his valet and see places he never had before, he could go with him anywhere that required him to be tended to. So yes, at least he had something more, something beyond the walls of Downton and Matthew was his ticket, even if their love always had to remain secret, he had it.

Matthew pulled away and smiled at Thomas, his Thomas, who didn't seem to understand how magnificent he was. Of course they could not marry each other legally, they could not have children together, but regardless of that, Matthew truly believed that, with his head for strategies and planning, — though often misplaced in spite and malice — he could be anything he wished to be. Thomas was bright, he was bold, and he knew how to stand tall when everything was going wrong. Matthew melted at the thoughts about this man and he leaned in for a kiss and Thomas met him halfway. Their arms tightened around each other and now Thomas relaxed completely because he entered the world he and Matthew shared — where nothing else mattered.

They pulled away and for a moment they just stood there and Matthew felt how Thomas had calmed down. It was not often he completely lost his temper, his anger mostly consisted of glares and snide comments, so Matthew knew his words had hit a nerve and so had Miss O'Brien with her comments. "I am sorry, Thomas, I didn't mean to offend you." He said "I'll stop packing my own bags from now on."

Thomas shook his head and the corner of his mouth twitched upwards slightly. "I have to do my job, and it does come with the perks of undressing the man I love — it is as close to a domestic life we can share" Thomas said and took a step back to unbutton Matthew's shirt and begin the best part of his job.

"Where are the letters now?" Matthew just remembered the whole reason for Thomas' outburst — someone had snuck into his room. "Did you hide them?"

Thomas nodded and stopped his fingers on the last button of Matthew's shirt. He motioned to the box he carried and walked over to it, Matthew joined him by his side seconds later. " I put them in here, along with the picture of you, with your letters. I was hoping I could hide them in your room"

Matthew nodded with his stare locked on the picture of himself "I still can't believe this year is the sixth of knowing each other" He picked it up and a smile formed on his lips "I paid a lot to get it taken and developed so fast." Matthew sighed happily then his face turned into a frown "I wish I still had yours, that now lays buried on the old battlefield."

Thomas pressed his lips to Matthew's forehead and let them linger there for a moment. He loved when they talked about the happier memories from that time. Sometimes, like the other day, Matthew would mention the painful times — and even if it was something Thomas wasn't too keen on being reminded about, he would still listen because it had been traumatic for Matthew. Thomas would never push it and he would never force Matthew to speak of the times when he tried to 'cure' himself. Thomas would let him do so naturally, when he was ready.

But now they were remembering the good moments and Thomas shared one of his favourites with Matthew; "Do you remember our walks, me pushing you to the bakery, for fresh bread every morning?"

Matthew smiled and nodded "and poor Mrs Bird, being so shocked when she realised you were sitting down for tea with me." He put the photograph back down and then he saw the suit that was laid in the box, a grey one with slightly dark stripes and a matching waistcoat and trousers. "I cannot wait to see you in that suit — and out of it." Matthew said and Thomas rolled his eyes before beginning to undress Matthew once again, but it gave Matthew a thought.

"I think I should try and dress you as a valet in Manchester" Matthew said and shuddered as Thomas' fingers brushed over his exposed skin to remove the shirt from his body.

"This is not how a normal valet dresses or undresses someone, Mr Crawley." Thomas said with a smirk and leaned down to press his lips to Matthew's collarbone which caused a sigh of content to escape from his mouth and Thomas began to undo Matthew's trousers.

"Oh, but I want to, because in Manchester you don't have to be my valet" Matthew let out a little gasp when Thomas' pulled his trousers off.

"I don't?" Thomas said with an enchanting grin and dropped to his knees to untie Matthew's shoes. He let his nose brush over Matthew's groyne so gently it almost seemed accidental, but nothing Thomas did to Matthew was accidental.

"No, we can walk as friends, business partners…." Matthew shared his thoughts with the hopes that Thomas would agree, because no one would know what Thomas was to Matthew there — it was a big city filled with folks who didn't know their lives at Downton and their ranks; they could be anything — almost anything — they wanted there.

Thomas gently pushed Matthew down on an empty spot on the bed and he pulled his shoes off, then the trousers that hung around Matthew's ankles, before placing kisses up his exposed thighs. "It sounds nothing short of a dream" He murmured against Matthew's skin and pushed his body in between his legs. Thomas let his hot breath fall over Matthew's cock, which was only protected by the thin fabric of his underwear. It didn't take long for Matthew to grow for Thomas, and it only took a matter of seconds after that for Thomas to remove Matthew's erection from his underwear and take it into his mouth.

Matthew's eyes rolled back and he had to cover his mouth to not let a single noise escape it; which was extremely difficult with how Thomas' tongue masterfully dragged over his shaft — but it was not night. Servants were walking about and the rest of the Crawleys' were getting dressed as well.

Thomas smiled against Matthew and he knew, very well, how incredibly hard it was for him to keep quiet — and Thomas wasn't about to make it any easier. He loosened his jaw and he took all of Matthew down. He held his head still and swallowed Matthew's erection, letting his throat tightened around it.

Matthew bit down on his knuckles and let out a muffled sob. Thomas was the worst, in the best way possible, because he knew how besmirched Matthew's mind would be at dinner — knowing very well that this would be on his mind.

Thomas enjoyed knowing he could drive Matthew so mad that nothing else could enter his mind, nothing but him. Thomas revelled in the thought of Matthew sitting there, amongst the unknowing Crawleys', and thinking about what his valet had done to him — but this time he was going to take it a step further.

Matthew began whimpering, his breath got stuck in his chest and his hips moved against Thomas' mouth. That's when Thomas knew he had almost brought Matthew to his climax and, when a moan of his name left Matthew's lips, Thomas removed his mouth with a smirk.

"W-What...Wh—" Matthew panted out in confusion, looking at Thomas who licked his lips and wiped some saliva from them.

"Can't have you look ungentleman-like for dinner now can we, Mr Crawley?" Thomas said and put Matthew's erection back into his underwear before standing up to up the white dress shirt to go along with Matthew's black dinner jacket and trousers.

"Thomas…" Matthew said and ran a hand over his face. He felt painfully frustrated and Matthew's glare was intense upon his lover, who just grinned with an unbothered expression back at him. "You're absolutely cruel" Matthew bit down on his lower lip to hide a smile.

"Right you are, my darling, I am cruel and you are in love with it" Thomas said and Matthew finally rose, on shaky legs, and stood before Thomas to let himself get dressed. Thomas' knuckles brushed over his painful erection more than once and Matthew cursed under his breath. Soon he stood there, fully ready to join the others downstairs, and Thomas adjusted his bowtie with that same grin that hadn't faded from his lips.

"Will you sneak in here tonight and finish what you have started?" Matthew asked, looking at Thomas with hungry eyes.

"No, I don't think so" Thomas said and his grin widened at Matthew's shocked expression to his response "I need to pack myself" Thomas's eyes locked with Matthews and then he leaned forward to give Matthew one last kiss before he needed to leave the room.

"My heart is breaking" Matthew teased and tried to deny Thomas a kiss, but he was far too weak and as soon as those lips came into contact with his, Matthew melted against them. "You're merciless to me" Matthew sighed out when they broke apart.

"No, I'm leaving you wanting more" Thomas said and took Matthew's chin between his thumb and index finger "I don't want your love and need for me to falter."

Matthew shook his head and cupped Thomas' cheek "It could never falter, my darling — my heart."

Thomas straightened his back and hid his smile the best he could. "You better get down to dinner, Mr Crawley, before they get concerned" Thomas removed the letters and photograph for Matthew to hide before grabbing the box with his suit. Right before Thomas left turned around and mouthed 'I love you' to Matthew — leaving him in the room alone with a grin that reached his summer-sky eyes.

Matthew needed a moment to compose himself. He stood and stared at his reflection in the mirror, he ran a hand through his hair and over his mouth. Thomas Barrow knew how to tear the gentleman away from Matthew — and how Matthew absolutely loved it.