Manchester,
January 24th 1920
Thomas stepped off the train and onto the platform. It had been many years since he had been to Manchester, his hometown, and it felt strange. Stranger though was that towards him walked Matthew Crawley, with his dazzling smile and twinkling eyes. Of course they had sat in different carts during the train ride since it would not have been proper for a valet to ride with his employer. Now, however, they were free — to a certain extent. Thomas adjusted his hat and buttoned his coat up fully. Matthew stopped next to him and they both exchanged looks of relief. Now it was just the two of them and a hotel waiting.
"Let's get a taxi to the hotel" Matthew said and then shook his head when Thomas, on instinct, reached out to grab the suitcase from him.
"That's right…" Thomas said as he remembered that, during this time, he was not a valet. He wasn't expected to carry anything for Matthew, dress Matthew — do anything for Matthew as a member of staff. They could be as normal as they could be. Of course they could not link arms together or kiss in the street, but this was freedom to them. They walked with each other, side by side, perhaps a little bit too close, but they could not help how they gravitated towards each other. Both of them just wanted to devour each other, hold each other, lay together — Manchester was their France for the weekend.
Thomas inhaled the Manchester air for the first time since had left the city for Downton. A decade ago he had left this place and all it held without looking back. But, with Matthew by his side, he could find his strength and show him the places of his youth. Matthew gave Thomas an encouraging nod and they put their suitcases into a taxi and climbed into the back. All barriers and classes were gone and left were two men madly in love. Their hands were placed upon the space between them on the seat; their fingers innocently brushed together with every bump of the car. They both looked out the window, away from each other, but with expressions of content.
Soon they were at the hotel and, to Thomas' eyes, it was rather grand. It must also be new, for he couldn't remember it from his youth — not that he had spent much time in these neighbourhoods — but sometimes he had wandered and dreamt of a life different from what he had. They walked through the doors and took off their hats. Thomas followed Matthew to the reception counter.
"Good day — " Matthew said and took off his gloves, searching for his wallet in the inside pocket of his coat. " — I have two rooms booked under Matthew Crawley, one for me and one for my business associate."
A bellboy came and took their bags and soon enough they were shown to their rooms — right next door to each other. Thomas was eager to just be with Matthew and, as soon as he was alone in his room, he reached for the handle of the door to go knock on his lover's door. But then he saw another door — one that joined their rooms together. He smirked and thought his lover was quite brilliant and then, with rushed steps, he walked towards it and straight into Matthew's room.
"My darling," Matthew said and locked the door to his room. Thomas did the same, to the joint door, and then they walked over to each other. Matthew took Thomas' face in his hands, Thomas wrapped his arms around Matthew's waist, and then they kissed. Their bodies pressed together so close and their tongues were in desperate need of each other's flavours. They both moaned softly and felt so utterly content. It was the sweetest feeling — being just the two of them. They were without fear of a Crawley knocking on the door. It was wonderful to not have to look over your shoulder.
Thomas, who had been the instigator of last night's teasing, now felt the effect of it himself. It had been too long since he had laid with Matthew and his heart was yearning.
Matthew felt the same and, with their lips still locked together, he pushed Thomas' coat off. They removed clothing after clothing and then they kicked their shoes off. It was them, the two of them, and nothing else. Their love seeped out from their skin and embraced them in protection from the world.
Thomas pushed his hands inside of Matthew's underwear, cupping his behind, and then the kiss broke; both of them gasping for air. Matthew began backing towards the bed and he pulled Thomas along with him. His knees buckled at the edge of it and they fell together. Thomas straddled Matthew's hips, he took Matthew's wrists and pinned them above his head while his lips left a trail of kisses from Matthew's ear to his collarbone.
Matthew tilted his head to the side and as he succumbed to Thomas. It was hard not to when he caused Matthew's body to twitch and jerk with every little touch. Matthew's heart exploded for this man, for Thomas Barrow, and if this was wrong he never wanted to be right in his entire life. There was no love without Thomas, there was no heart within Matthew without Thomas — there was no pleasure without him.
"Do you know what is wonderful about being what we are?" Thomas whispered against Matthew's skin.
"W-What?" Matthew panted out. He licked his lips and tried to pull his wrists away, but Thomas pinned them down harder.
Thomas ran his tongue over Matthew's throat, up to his chin and along his jawline "We don't have to do it by the norms of society — " He whispered and flicked his tongue over Matthew's earlobe while he rolled his hips forwards. The friction caused them both to sudder. " — we can do whatever we please, I can run my tongue over every part of you, and we can find new ways to bring pleasure" Just those words caused Matthew to shudder and his hips rose to push their erections together "There's no guidebook for our pleasure, for our sex, so we can write our own and I'll write it all over you."
Matthew groaned as all of this all drove him to the brink of madness with lust. Matthew could not pretend he didn't enjoy the devilish ways of Thomas Barrow — even in bed he was cunning.
"I am going to worship every inch of you." Thomas moaned into Matthew's ear.
"Yes..my darling, yes…" Matthew whimpered out while his brain fogged up with a mist of passion. Thomas was insanity to Matthew's soul. Of course there were no guidebooks for men like them, no words of warning and advice for a wedding night — they could figure it all out on their own. Tease and test their way forward to reach new pleasurable highs. There were no gentlemen here, it was simply them — and Thomas Barrow was bold, and daring enough, to not shy away from finding all the ways he could make Matthew squirm.
"Don't move your hands — if they touch me I will stop." Thomas commanded and slowly let go of Matthew's wrists.
Matthew let out a noise of frustration already. Not touching Thomas? How could he not — when all he wanted was to be surrounded by him and feel every inch of his skin with his fingertips. Matthew knew he wouldn't last long but he would try.
Thomas took a hold of Matthew's thighs, spread his legs, and then he settled his hips between Matthew's legs. Before Thomas began the exploration he leaned down and gave Matthew a tender kiss — then his lips kissed his chin; down the throat, and then the blonde hairs over Matthew's chest. Matthew's back arched, his chest heaved, but he didn't not let his arms move — he didn't want Thomas to stop no matter how badly his need was to grip this man by his hair and guide him down between his legs.
Thomas took much pleasure in challenging Matthew, even if he yearned for those hands to be upon him. His lips kissed over Matthew's nipples, his hands ran up his ribcage and then his teeth gently sunk into Matthew's right nipple. It caused Matthew's hands to flinch but he stopped himself right before they took a hold of Thomas. Thomas smirked as he gave the bud a gentle tug and then his lips continued their exploration; along with his teeth grazing the skin. Matthew moaned and moaned — one thing he couldn't control was the noises from his mouth and he was glad he had not been told to keep quiet as well. Thomas' palms moved over Matthew's hips and then his fingers hooked under the waistband of his underwear.
Matthew's hands gripped the sheets beneath him, his breathing was so uneven and his lips were dry. He couldn't decide between looking at Thomas' mouth, as it moved down his body, or to toss his head backwards in the frustrating pleasure he was feeling. The way Thomas made him would always be heaven enough, and no heaven above could be better.
Thomas' lips were dangerously close to Matthew's erection — but each kiss just circled around it. Thomas kissed right above the base of Matthew's cock, down to Matthew's thigh, his lips lightly brushed over his balls to reach the other thigh.
"Oh God!" Thomas made Matthew moan God's name in vain. Matthew's legs were trembling but Thomas just smirked and kept his kisses close to the erection but he didn't touch it with anything other than his hot breath. He wanted to drive it all out of Matthew, lust without boundaries, to break them all down while the world outside kept moving; while in Downton the footmen were serving lunch — while Mr Carson bowed to Lord Grantham. Thomas wanted Matthew to forget all about the land that didn't accept them and release every urge he had within him. Thomas turned Matthew onto his side, laid behind him and leaned down to kiss up his side and over his ribcage; while his hands caressed Matthew's chest that was moving so ruggedly. Every sound Matthew made, every sob of Thomas' name, caused Thomas to feel loved and wanted in a way he never would with anyone else.
"T-Thomas…" Matthew begged. He still clung onto the bedsheets with knuckles that had turned white. He was about to erupt with lust, he was about to burst with love and need. Matthew didn't know for how much longer he could take this. He needed to feel Thomas underneath his fingertips.
Thomas smirked and his lips ended up where they had started, by Matthew's ear. Thomas' palm moved down Matthew's stomach and his fingers grazed over his erection. They closed around it and Matthew's face turned to the side so he could bite down hard on the sheets below — his screams surely would carry through the walls if he didn't. Thomas began pumping him slowly and Matthew's hips bucked to the touch, then his eyes closed tight. Thomas took two fingers from his free hand and sucked on them. It wasn't long until he was preparing Matthew to take him.
Matthew felt like he didn't need much preparation, he was willing to take Thomas — pain and all. He just wanted to touch him, to cling to his arms, and become one. But he didn't need to wait long, not long at all. Before he knew it Thomas' spit-coated erection was pressed against him and Matthew punched the mattress in frustration because he still had not been told he was allowed to touch Thomas again. That's when Thomas finally eased up, he didn't enter Matthew quite yet, but instead he sat up and brought the man into his lap. With Matthew's back to his chest, and their feet hanging off the edge of the bed, Thomas guided the head of his erection back to Matthew's entrance. He wrapped his arms around Matthew's chest and whispered "you can touch me now " into his ear, right as he pushed the tip inside of Matthew.
Matthew's hands became frantic; they reached behind him and gripped every inch of Thomas that he could — he devoured his lover with his hands. His fingers dug into Thomas' arms and Matthew's head turned to press his lips to Thomas' throat. They both moaned once Thomas was swallowed completely by Matthew. How insanely pleasurable it was for Thomas to see Matthew turn ravage in his desperation for him — so Thomas decided to give them both what they desired. Slowly he rolled his hips and moved his cock in and out of Matthew, but he ended each motion with a forceful thrust deep inside of his lover. Matthew arched his back, his chest protruded forwards, while the back of his head leaned against Thomas' shoulder.
Thomas was panting against Matthew's skin; his breathing had become faster and faster with each thrust of his hip. His hand travelled up Matthew's chest, to his throat, and it gripped his jaw. Thomas' eyes opened to look at his lover but instead he saw a mirror by the dresser opposite of them. In it he saw the two of them from a point of view he never had before and Thomas had never seen anything so gorgeous in his life. Matthew looked like a Greek god; his back was arched and his body was drenched in sweat — with his face scrunched up in pleasure and moans falling from his parted lips.
"M-Matthew...L-Look" Thomas gasped out and Matthew opened his eyes; seeing exactly what Thomas was seeing — the two of them making love. "N-Nothing so beautiful c-could ever...e-ever be wrong…" Thomas kept watching Matthew and himself in the mirror. He watched how Matthew dug his nails into Thomas' arm. He watched their bodies blend together into one, he watched them moan each other's name — and Matthew could not tear his eyes away either.
Not even when their bodies reached the climax could they look anywhere but at their reflection. They watched how they trembled against each other; how their toes curled. They groaned in pleasure, over and over again. Matthew almost lifted from Thomas' lap as he came with such a force that he shot all over his own chest and some splattered up over his cheek. Thomas' hand came to help pump him dry while his own orgasm filled Matthew up, rolling his hips to milk himself from Matthew's tightness. That was when their eyes tore from the mirror, because they both collapsed onto their backs with their arms stretched out to like Jesus on the cross. They were trying to catch their breaths while they stared at the ceiling, their lips curled into a smile that turned into laughter.
"Will we ever grow tired of this?" Matthew said, knowing very well they never could.
"It would be like living without air" Thomas said and swallowed. He then shuffled out from underneath Matthew to turn to his side and look at the man he loved. "and I'd rather suffocate than be without you" He leaned over to press a kiss to Matthew's smiling lips. Then Thomas' let out a chuckle of his own and wiped Matthew's seed from his cheek.
Thomas stood up, but only to grab his cigarettes, then he was back on the bed where their heads rested together as they gazed at the ceiling. Thomas blew smoke into the air and Matthew traced it with his fingers; breaking the smoke rings to create little twirls.
Thomas took a deep drag from the cigarette and, with his exhale, he said "You're the love of my life, Matthew Crawley" and Matthew smiled while his finger spun smoke around it.
"I wish I could take a photo of this exact moment, I wish I could take many of us, and keep them so no one can ever erase what we share." Thomas said and moved his head closer to Matthew's to inhale his scent. "So, if in the future our letters are found, they cannot claim us to be friends like they do with men from history, like kings of the past, the photos would be there and no one could diminish the love we shared."
"You have the most astonishing mind, your thoughts leave me amazed" Matthew said quietly "I wish we live long enough for the world to be kinder, and we can walk arm in arm — I wish that, I wish that for anyone like us, to not need to hide their love and be ashamed like I once was."
Thomas turned his head to the side and Matthew did the same, they looked into each other's eyes and then their lips met in a sideways kiss. "One day Matthew our wish will come true, there will be a different world, a different time, for men like us."
"My Darling"
"My Heart"
Manchester,
January 24th 1920
Midday
"This is absurd, Matthew," Thomas said and looked at himself in the mirror. They had ventured out on the streets of Manchester after having luncheon and Matthew had lured Thomas into a tailor where he was now trying on a white tie and his legs were being measured.
Matthew just watched with a smirk and, as soon as the tailor had gone to the back in to search for more pins, he said "It's not absurd, I think you look rather dashing, you sure have the condescending expression to pull it off — you will look more like a gentleman than me." Matthew said with his arms folded over his chest and his hat dangling from his hand.
Thomas glared at Matthew and spoke in a hushed voice "Perhaps but, if you haven't noticed, I don't speak with received pronunciation, even if my accent is muddled down from the years at Downton — it's not quite the upper-class one, is it? "
"Maybe not, but tonight you will be Thomas Barrow, a self-made gentleman." Matthew said. He was completely amused by watching his working class lad looking so unlike himself. Of course he had always looked tidy, you had to as a footman and valet, but there was something quite charming in the fact that this would be Thomas' first white tie.
"How do you expect me to afford all of this?" Thomas said with a scowl on his face but his eyes darted back to himself in the mirror; for a moment he almost thought he did look like a gentleman and he tried to hide a smile on his face.
"I pay for the upper-middle-class day, you pay for the working-class day" Matthew suggested and Thomas just rolled his eyes but he pulled the tailcoat by its collar and then agreed to the deal. After the tailor finished pinning everything and Matthew had paid him — and extra at that to have it finished by 5 o'clock — they walked outside and put their hats back on.
"But why do I need a white tie, Matthew? Why have you planned?" Thomas said as they turned left on the sidewalk and he followed Matthew down the street.
"You will see, Thomas, you told me to have patience earlier when we had our elevenses" Matthew said with a wide grin while Thomas furrowed his eyebrows at Matthew calling their love making ' elevenses '. "Haven't you always wished to rise above everyone else, Thomas?" Matthew then asked.
"Not in this sense because this has never entered my mind, we're told we can earn respect and be butlers of great houses one day, if you work hard front he start but — " Thomas said and sucked in his cheeks " — none of us even possess the dream of wearing white tie, grand balls and being gentlemen or ladies, we're just the working class"
Matthew hadn't quite thought about the hierarchy of the servants and the work they did — how they were always there when the bells rang. Well, no, he had but he hadn't given it any deep thoughts. Matthew's path had been quite different but for Thomas it had started from the very bottom, with hopes to climb further up, to eventually reach the title of first footman, valet or butler. Matthew began to see that there was more honour in the hard work that the servants performed than his previous work of writing up deeds and wills. He thought he had always been quite open minded, forward thinking, but he realised now that he never had seen it from the perspective of the servants. Matthew had more questions about the life downstairs, questions he hadn't thought of asking Thomas before, but he waited with those questions and instead he stopped outside of a tall townhouse and looked up.
Thomas stopped as well. He looked at Matthew first and then the townhouse. Compared to Lord Grantham's London house it might not look as much but, to Thomas, it was still grand.
"This is where I was born, raised and lived until the day I got a letter stating I was to inherit the title and estate." Matthew almost looked longingly at the house and Thomas wished he could reach out and take his hand as he spoke. "To you, it must seem silly of me to speak of being an outsider at Downton but here, in this house, we didn't hold any noble titles, there was no pressure and no heavy weight upon my shoulders."
"It's not silly to me, Matthew —" Thomas shook his head and remembered everyone's reaction when they learned about Matthew. " —I tell you Mr Carson bellowed over you being an heir with an upper-middle-class upbringing, for not being proper, not like Lady Mary." Thomas told Matthew "and, as you know, so did I — but I think you've proven them all wrong, I know you have with me"
Matthew laughed and looked at Thomas "I should hope I have proven you wrong, but I understand it — Patrick was always meant to be the heir and if I am honest, I almost wished for the soldier that showed up to have been Patrick and there were many times I wished for Mary to be able to inherit it all." Matthew confessed and then said in a quiet whisper "but now, in Downton, we have a place we can always be together."
Thomas nodded and thought to himself 'we could have that in France as well' but then he shrugged that thought away. It was quite a lot to ask, was it not? To uproot your life and leave your family behind. Thomas sighed softly, he had not thought of that before. If they just left, ran away from it all, the Crawleys' would most likely hold such resentment towards Matthew that he'd be unable to come back. He would leave his mother and a family that seemed to hold him dear — and that Matthew held dear as well. Thomas had not had loving parents, nor a happy home, so it had not entered his mind that Matthew loved his.
Thomas left his thoughts behind and swayed a little on his spot so his shoulders nudged to Matthew, which allowed his hand to brush over Matthew's. To everyone it would simply look like an accident but not for Matthew, and it brought a warm smile to his face.
"So I think everything worked out, despite my hesitancy of first coming to Downton." Matthew inhaled deeply and let his eyes fall shut for a moment as he smiled "If I hadn't been the heir, you would not be standing beside me now and I would have lived with suppressing who I am. I would always have felt like something was missing, there was something untold."
"Was your father's practice nearby?" Thomas asked Matthew.
Matthew nodded and pointed down the street. "It was past the grocer, then left, and a ten minute walk straight down the street." Matthew described and then a fond memory came to his mind "In the summer I used to walk there, mother gave me a coin and I would stop at the sweet shop to buy fudge that father and I always shared in his office."
"It must have been hard to lose him" Thomas said, he didn't know what it was like because he had no memories of his family that he could look back at and rejoice over — at least not that he could remember because the pain had erased them all.
"It was, my dar—I mean— Thomas ," Matthew quickly corrected himself. " —but I was lucky to have loving and supportive parents with cheerful memories of summertimes at the sea, picnics in the parks and a father who read me to sleep." Matthew said with tears on the edge of his eyes and a smile that reached from ear to ear. "I do wish you could have met him, he was a fascinating and brilliant man." Matthew sniffled and then turned around. "Let's see if the sweet shop is still there, it was when I left — I hope the war didn't close it down with the rations"
Thomas nodded and they walked in the direction Matthew had pointed out before. It was special to Thomas, to see these places — that Matthew was showing him his life before Downton. Thomas was a bit nervous to show him the same come tomorrow but, for now, he was happy to see through the window of Matthew's former life.
It warmed Thomas' heart to see the almost childlike eyes upon Matthew's when the sweet shop was still there. He looked at Thomas, absolutely thrilled, and opened the door. The little bell swung when the door hit it and a woman greeted them with a smile.
"Good afternoon gentlemen, what can I help you with today?" The shop owner greeted them in a Scottish accent. Thomas thought she carried a very similar face to Mrs Patmore, round and red — but happier looking. Then the woman let out a gasp. "Is that young Mr Crawley?"
"Mrs Macleod" Matthew said and took his hat off. "I didn't think you'd recognise me, I didn't know if the shop would still be here."
"Oh how could I forget your face, Mr Crawley? Always in here for the fudge, once a week every summer at the exact same time with eyes bluer than the sky itself!" She exclaimed happily. "I didn't think we'd see you again, not after you left for Downton, we were all very pleased for you"
"I'm here visiting, hopefully not for the last time, with my dear friend from the war, Mr Barrow" Matthew said and looked over his shoulder at Thomas.
"Ah, of course — of course you would have been in the war too." She said, almost with tears in her eyes and she gave Thomas a nod "Pleasure to meet you, Mr Barrow"
"Likewise, Mrs Macleod." Thomas said and looked around the shop. He could almost imagine a young Matthew standing by the counter with his blue eyes staring at all the sweets and charming everyone he met.
"Is the area the same? How did the shop fare in the war?" Matthew said and began looking around, his eyes wandering over the candies until they landed on the fudge he had been speaking of.
"It was rough, Mr Crawley, I won't deny it and we had to come up with sweets to accommodate the rations given to us" Mrs Macleod said and then she sighed sadly and dabbed her eyes with her apron "but it was rougher losing young Henry, he perished in the war"
Both Thomas and Matthew's eyes snapped to the woman and their hearts broke — it was a reminder that the war was still upon people's minds and the sorrows hadn't left their hearts. It was a country still in mourning for losses and young men that would never return home. Thomas and Matthew had been one of the lucky ones and the government was not even done calculating how many lives were lost — not just the army men, but civilians too.
"Oh Mrs Macleod" Matthew sighed out sadly. He reached over the counter to take her hand and he patted it to offer a little comfort. "I am so terribly sorry to hear that, I remember him very well."
She nodded with a smile of appreciation and gave Matthew's hand a pat in return "you were always so sweet, thank you Mr Crawley, it warms my heart to know that kind men like you survived the war." She said and inhaled sharply to compose herself the best she could. "Now, how about some fudge?"
Matthew and Thomas sat in the grass of Alexandra park, they had walked through it for a while to find a very remote spot that would hide them. The greenery was of course not there this time of the year, but they sat with their backs to the trunk of a large tree and their gaze were turned to the water that ran through the park. Matthew had opened the bag of fudge and they shared it while they sat close together — almost too close — but since no one could see them they took the risk.
"This is where we used to picnic in the luscious days of summer, father used to teach me how to skip stones and mother and I fed the ducks" Matthew said with his mouth full of fudge.
Thomas looked at Matthew from the corner of his eyes with a small grin "You look like a true gentleman now, Matthew, speaking with your mouth full."
Matthew turned his head and smiled back at Thomas with his eyebrows raised at him "I wasn't a gentleman when I used to come here" He then picked up a piece of fudge and held it to Thomas to feed him.
Thomas looked around and when his eyes couldn't detect anyone; he took the fudge with his mouth and then he leaned forwards, pressing a sweet, but quick, kiss to Matthew's lips.
"That was daring of you, my darling" Matthew said quietly and watched how Thomas rested his hands behind his head and closed his eyes while chewing the fudge.
"I could not help myself, I thought it worth the risk" Thomas said and closed his eyes "I used to come here too, when I was a young lad."
"You did?" Matthew said and turned his gaze back to the water and the family of swans that swam past them.
"I did, I snuck out here whenever I could. It was quite the walk, since I lived far away from your neighbourhood, but I didn't mind. Sadly it wasn't as often as I had wished" Thomas said and then stole another fudge from the paper bag. "But you were probably already off to boarding school by the time my young legs walked through these pathways."
Matthew kept his gaze at the water and thought about how very different they had lived their lives in the same city. He wanted to ask more, but he saved all the questions for tomorrow when Thomas would take them to the places of his youth.
They sat there together and ate the rest of the fudge, enjoying each other's company, and the fact that there was no one around to tell them it was not correct or decent. Here they were Mr Crawley and Mr Barrow, friends and business associates — and no one questioned it.
When the clock had reached four on Matthew's pocket watch they got up, walked to the entrance of the park, and found a cab to take them to the tailor and then they were, eventually, back to the hotel. When the door closed, their arms wrapped around each other, they stroked each other's cheeks. Their lips pressed together, giving each other one hard kiss after the other — all the ones they wished they could have given each other during the day.
"It's time for me to be your valet now, Mr Barrow" Matthew said with a smile. He pulled Thomas in front of the mirror in the room, gave him a little twirl, and then Matthew walked over to start preparing the white tie they had picked up from the tailors.
"Our way, or the way of a proper valet?" Thomas said with a devilish grin upon his handsome face.
"We have somewhere to be, so do not get yourself any ideas now." Matthew said and bit down on his lips. He felt so giddish about he got to treat Thomas to wearing his first white tie — it was rather magical to Matthew.
Thomas removed his coat and began working on his three piece suit when Matthew came over and began undressing him instead. "Will you tell us where we are going?" Thomas asked as Matthew removed his trousers and shoes.
Matthew reached for the white dress shirt and slipped it onto Thomas' arms. "My Darling, I will not" Matthew said and leaned in to kiss Thomas' neck and began buttoning up the shirt.
"I thought you said you were to valet in the proper way" Thomas said with a chuckle as shivers went down his spine.
"Now I have to have a talk with Mr Molesley, I thought a kiss to the neck was the standard" Matthew joked, Thomas let out a snort, and he then continued to dress his lover. Soon Thomas stood before him, in his tailcoat, galon striped trousers, that white waistcoat and white bowtie.
Thomas looked at himself in the mirror, he turned from side to side to admire himself, and he felt strangely good where he stood dressed like a gentleman. In a different world he would be, the moment he had Matthew had fallen in love, he would have been invited to the dinners of Downton and the chats in the drawing room. Thomas spun to meet Matthew's gaze and he held out his arms "Do I look upper-class enough to blend in?"
Matthew nodded with a smile that had grown on his lips while watching Thomas admire himself. He walked up to straighten the bow tie around his sweetheart's neck. "My darling, you look absolutely stunning and I might have to fight the women off you tonight" He reached his neck up and kissed Thomas deeply, he parted their lips and their tongues came to meet, then Matthew felt that hand on his neck. It always made him feel so loved and safe when Thomas gripped him tightly— but Matthew reluctantly pulled away before it could go further than a kiss.
"Go fix your hair before I lose control of myself" Matthew said and pressed one last kiss to Thomas' lips before he moved away and began undressing himself.
"A theatre?" Thomas peered out through the window from the car Matthew had arranged for them "We're going to the theatre?" He asked and watched as women and men walked up the steps in their formal attire.
"I thought you never would have been to one" Matthew said and stepped outside in the cold breeze of a winter evening in the north. Thomas followed, when his door was opened for him, with a face of fear and amazement.
"I've seen some plays in a rundown place in the ginnel between the terrace houses, the neighbourhood youngsters put some together in the summer — " Thomas walked to stand next to Matthew " — but never been to a theatre and I never imagined I would."
"Sometimes the things we never thought would happen do, and it's marvellous isn't it?" Matthew said and leaned in slightly to Thomas' side and whispered " my dearest heart " before walking up the steps with the other people. Thomas shook his head and stood there for just a second longer and took it all in — what would anyone in Downton say if they saw him now? What would his father say if he saw his son standing in front of a theatre like this, wearing a white tie and in the company of a future Earl? Thomas stood a little bit taller with his chin lifted and, with a smirk on his face, he followed Matthew into the theatre.
Intermission came and Matthew and Thomas stood together in the grand hall of the theatre. They each held a glass of champagne, speaking to two ladies who had walked over to them and asked what they thought of the play so far — along with their names.
"I found it rather remarkable when two options are put before her, Hermia finds a third one and walks her own way." Thomas said and he could feel the gaze of Matthew burn into the side of his face. He smiled and took another sip from his champagne as one of the ladies nodded.
"Oh, I quite agree, it's very brave of them" She agreed.
"But to break a word, just because your heart takes a turn?" The other one chimed in "Is that ethical to do? It was against the law after all."
"The course of true love never did run smooth" Matthew quoted the play with a smile from Thomas "And once they are out of Athens the law does not bind them, because not all laws are the same — should they be punished for something like the matter of the heart, that is in no control of them?"
"No" The second lady said and looked Matthew up and down with a smile "I suppose you are right, if that was the law today that would be rather outrageous."
Both Matthew and Thomas took a long sip from their champagne at these words. Clearly the ladies had not not considered that in a certain way, for certain people, it still was unlawful for some to be in love. Before the conversation could continue there was a voice that erupted behind the circle of four.
"Matthew Crawley, as I live and breathe!" Two men stepped forwards, dressed in their finest, and shook Matthew's hand. "I can't believe you're gracing us simpletons of Manchester with your presence."
"Harvey Bennett, John Churchill — like any of you two are simpletons!" Matthew said and shook their hands enthusiastically before turning back to the ladies who stood there smiling. "Pardon us, ladies" He said with a little bow.
"Hopefully we will see the two of you after the play" The two women said and stepped away while talking between themselves and looking over their shoulders.
Thomas gave them a little bow as well before turning to the two men who, obviously, knew Matthew.
"Harvey, John" Matthew said and turned his side a little to introduce Thomas to the conversation "This is Thomas Barrow, a dear friend and fellow brother in arms."
Thomas stuck out his hand and shook the hands of the two men. Harvey, the dark haired man with green eyes, smiled at Thomas and asked; "Veteran from the war too? Served with Matthew here?"
Thomas gave a short nod "That is correct, we served actively together from 1914 until 1916 together, until I took two bullets, me."
John and Harvey blinked for a moment, noticing the Mancunian accent. "Fellow Manchester man? You two met in the war then, I assume?" John asked.
Thomas knew that his accent would give it away that he didn't grow up in the same privilege as these three men, but Matthew had told him that tonight he was a self-made gentleman — so that was what he was going to be.
"Yes, we met in the war, I am seven years Matthew's junior and did not grow up around your neighbourhood — as my accent, clearly, already has confirmed that." Thomas smirked and Matthew shook his head at Thomas with a proud smile. "I'm more or less a self-made gentleman."
"That sounds like an awfully interesting story, indeed" Harvey said right as everyone was called back to their seats. "We wish to hear more about it, how about we meet up at The Midland Hotel for a late supper, what do you two fine chaps say?"
Matthew looked at Thomas and he looked back at him with a nod of approval.
"Fantastic" Harvey said and the men shook hands again before taking their seats inside the theatre again.
Downton Abbey,
January 24th 1920
It was getting late into the evening and Maud stood outside Miss O'Brien's room. Since their last conversation she had thought a lot about what O'Brien had said and she was starting to admit to herself that a lot of it made sense. She did not want them to be but, if she had been sweet on a man who was foul in God's eyes, she wanted that man out of this house. She knocked quietly on the door and whispered "Miss O'Brien, it is Maud."
"Come inside, quickly." O'Brien answered and then looked the maid up and down from the chair she sat reading in. "Well, silly girl, have you finally come to your senses?"
Maud sighed and nodded. "But are you certain?"
"Of course I am." O'Brien snapped at her "Why do you think Patmore always tells you that you have no chance? Why Mrs Hughes is telling you to stay away?" She put the book down "They all know, everyone has always speculated about it, but no one does anything about it."
Maud hung her head and nodded again. "Why isn't anyone doing anything about it? Why isn't he sent away?"
O'Brien scoffed "Do you think anyone has any proof? He also has the trust and ear of Mr Crawley now, do you think anyone dares accuse Barrow of wrongdoing without any evidence?"
Maud sat down in the chair next to O'Brien and played with her fingers gloomily. She had desperately wanted to be Thomas' sweetheart "Maybe I can fix him? Maybe he hasn't found the right girl yet…" She said with a false hope.
"And would you want to be with him, knowing what he's done? There was a Duke once and — " O'Brien said and then smiled smugly as Maud looked positively nauseous.
"Don't — don't talk about such things." The maid interrupted and shook her head. "But what can we do about it?" She asked O'Brien.
"Find proof, of course." O'Brien answered.
Maud let out a gasp and covered her hand with her mouth. "The letters!"
"Letters? Speak clearly, girl." O'Brien said impatiently.
"When I went snooping in his room, I found letters in his drawer from Lady Sybil —"
" — that's no proof, they became friends when they worked together — " O'Brien spoke over her.
" — and there was another set of letters underneath them, with a photograph hidden beneath." Maud finished and O'Brien's annoyance disappeared.
"Who were they from? Who was in the photograph?" O'Brien asked eagerly as she thought of the letters he had once sent the Duke Of Crowborough.
"I don't know, I didn't get a chance to see them before you warned me, but I could see an army hat sticking — so that must be a photo of a man!" Maud said.
"That's good of you, that's excellent Maud." O'Brien nodded "We will go into his room tomorrow night and steal them." She then motioned to the door "Now go to bed, don't speak to anyone about this.""
Maud stood up and nodded "Thank you Miss O'Brien, for saving me from a deeper heartbreak, and don't worry I won't say a word." She bid the lady's maid goodnight and took to her own room. Maud felt heartbroken but she knew that getting rid of Thomas Barrow would heal it. There was also nothing wrong with befriending O'Brien as a bonus, since she held the ear of Lady Grantham.
Manchester,
January 24th 1920
Thomas was treated with one great building to another. The Midland Hotel was no exception. Of Course Thomas had seen great houses before, but that was a servant — and since he had been a footman most of his life he had not been following Lord and Lady Grantham on their trips to revel in marvellous abodes of Dukes and Duchesses. Now he was walking into one with someone asking to take his coat, the snobbish side of him loved it — the working class lad felt uneasy. Though with Matthew next to him it all felt right. They were shown into the restaurant where Harvey and John sat by a table and waved them over.
"Good evening gentlemen" Harvey said and motioned with his hand for them to take the empty chairs. "How did the second half of A Midsummer Night's Dream fall to your taste?"
The two sat down and were instantly poured some wine by John. "It was rather interesting" Matthew began "To me it seemed as if it told the story of how, if love is true, interruptions will not matter in the end."
"I agree" Thomas continued and took a cigarette out to light it "but I also feel as if it shows that outside interventions and meddling can cause more harm than good — but like Matthew said, in the end you will, if you follow your heart, fall into place with the one you meant to be with."
"I was more looking for if it was good or bad but I appreciate the philosophy" Harvey laughed and then a waitress came over. They began a late evening with drinks, food, and conversation. It was an atmosphere that Thomas had not experienced before. There had never been much time in his life for anything but work — now he was sitting and holding conversations with two of Matthew's friends — and one of them a Churchill at that.
" — my family do find me to be quite the odd one out, for not dabbling into conservative politics." John said. "They cannot understand how a Churchill can support the labour party."
Thomas finished his wine and put his third cigarette out as they were about to conclude their meal while Matthew sat with his arm draped over the back of the chair and his half-finished glass of wine dangling from his grip.
"The war changed the world, we're entering a different era — take Lord Grantham's youngest daughter, Lady Sybil, defining her family and marrying the chauffeur, now she works as a nurse in Ireland." Matthew smiled and Thomas nodded to himself — it was quite true, there was a new wave of awakening in the world.
"That must have been quite the scandal in the village" Harvey chuckled and finished his own drink before digging around for his wallet "but good on her, good on her, it is nice to see that the nobles and upper-class step away from privilege and silver-platters — rolling up their sleeves and start doing work hard" Harvey continued and John nodded in agreement.
Matthew let out a loud snort at his friends "Says you, Harvey whose family had to give a generous donation to Oxford for you to be admitted, and you John —" Matthew motioned with his glass to his second friend " — who used his name to get out of trouble involving a horse race at said school."
Thomas looked between the men with a bemused but shocked expression. Harvey laughed and tossed a few bills on the table — Matthew and John did the same.
"That's right!" Harvey laughed and patted John on the shoulder as they all stood from the table "You rode a horse through the courtyard at Oxford"
"I won the race at least and that, my dear friends, is what counts" The group of men laughed together and left the restaurant
"There is a ballroom and bar on the floor above, what do you say — should we continue this night?" John asked.
Matthew and Thoms looked at each other. Neither did truly mind — of course they longed to be able to kiss and hold each other but this was a rare moment of them being out and about together and soon they would be back to the ways of Downton. So the couple nodded in agreement and the group set off towards the elevator. On their way over there two women walked past, laughing and walking arm in arm.
"Oh hello, how wonderful to see you two gentlemen again" The blonde one said as she spotted Thomas and Matthew — it was the ladies they had spoken to during the intermission. The red-haired one glanced at Matthew with a slight blush upon her face and the blonde one had the same expression, but for Thomas.
"Miss Lucy, Miss Kate — what a coincidence to run into you here" Matthew said but both him and Thomas knew it was not — they understood that the two women had overheard them speaking of meeting Harvey and John here and clearly hoped to run into them. "This is Harvey Bennett and John Churchill"
John and Harvey gave the two women a bow of their head "Pleased to meet you, how do you know His future lordship and his modernising friend?"
Lucy looked at Kate, the read-head, and mouthed 'future lordship' with a smile on her face before answering John "We had the joy of meeting them at the theatre, they shared some intellectual thoughts of the play"
Thomas held his arm out for Lucy "Would you two care to join us in the ballroom for a drink or two?" Lucy looked giddy and accepted the arm with a nod — and Matthew offered his arm to Kate and together they all stepped into the elevator and to the ballroom they went.
It was a packed room but they managed to find a booth close to the dancefloor where they sat down and ordered a round of drinks for everyone. A foxtrot was taking place and everyone around seemed merry and slightly intoxicated — it was a younger crowd, at least mostly, who seemed to have already embraced the 1920s and the toffee-nosed stiffness had vanished for the night. The air was filled with smoke and laughter while the group of six sat talking and drinking whisky and Tom Collins'.
Matthew almost could not believe how Thomas had eased into the role of a gentleman — though they were not in a place of traditionalists, no rules and older generations — the kind of nobles Thomas was used to being around. Though Matthew knew he would be brilliant in such an environment as well, because Thomas could be quite snobbish at times, a product of the profession. Here though, Thomas had let it all go, his stiff upper-lip of a valet and footman — a side of him only Matthew had truly seen before. Away from Downton they could truly and simply be.
The conversation had steered towards the war, since all four men had served in it — and with the intoxication they spoke casually even with ladies present. Though Kate and Lucy did not seem to mind as they were tipsy as well and seemed to find crudeness rather hilarious.
" — No, no, it's true!" Harvey said "Three bullets, straight to the buttocks, I can prove it" He insisted and stood up, pretending to undo his trousers. Everyone roared with laughter, Kate and Lucy covered their eyes with cachinnating eruptions. Thomas had his thumb pressed to his glabella and a cigarette pinched between his fingers as he was choking on his own laughs. Matthew was wiping his eyes from tears and John's face was red with laughter as he pulled Harvey down to his seat.
"No one wishes to see that nightmare!" John exclaimed.
"Are you insulting my brave battle wounds?" Harvey said with false offence "How inconsiderate."
"No, I was speaking of the horrid sight of your buttocks" John said and they all burst out in laughter once again.
"At least my nickname didn't become Major Two-Toes to an entire platoon" Harvey said and ordered them another round of drinks. "Because he shot himself in the foot while cleaning his gun."
Thomas leaned back in the booth and shook his head with his sides aching from laughing too much. Thomas tilted his head and saw Matthew's summer-sky eyes meet him and they exchanged a smile of pure happiness, both wishing it could always be just like this.
"Oh you four are hilarious" Lucy said and sipped on her Tom Collins while looking at Thomas with a flirtatious smile. "So, Thomas, is there a Mrs Barrow?" She asked and pushed her hair behind her ear.
"Not a Mrs Barrow, no" Thomas said and tossed Matthew a look "but there is someone I wish to be just that" If only the world would let us he added in his head.
"Oh you big tease" Lucy said in jest and gave him a playful shove "would she mind though, if you danced with someone else, as a payment for your wicked charm?"
Thomas knew Matthew wouldn't mind, he would actually encourage Thomas to dance with her, but the valet-in-disguise was a bit hesitant — until Matthew gave him a nod. It wasn't a nod of approval but a nod to urge him to enjoy the night.
"No, they would not mind" Thomas decided and stood up. He offered his arm to Lucy and led her to the dance-floor. Thomas turned around and gave the table a wink, but Matthew knew it was aimed towards him.
"Is there a sweetheart in your life?" Kate now asked Matthew, who had been expecting to be asked the same.
"I am afraid to say, just like Thomas, I am no bachelor" He answered but stood up "But a dance I won't say no to either" Matthew took the smiling Kate to join Thomas and Lucy on the floor.
Behind him John shouted. "What about us?!"
"Why don't you count Major Buttocks' bullet holes, Major Two-Toes, for entertainment!" Matthew joked and his two friends chuckled at him — but they didn't seem to mind being left alone.
Eventually the night came to an end and they escorted Lucy and Kate outside, ensuring that they got into a taxi before their goodbyes and then left were the four men.
"Are you truly bachelors or was that an excuse?" Harvey asked with raised eyebrows.
"A gentleman does not—-" Matthew began
" — kiss and tell" Thomas finished and smirked while Harvey and John just shook their heads. They parted ways after agreeing to meet up again when Thomas and Matthew were back in Manchester. The taxis drove off and Thomas and Matthew were starved for each other's touches. So when they were finally back at the hotel, behind the safety of their hotel rooms, they embraced each other tightly.
"That was an uncharacteristic night for me" Thomas murmured into the side of Matthew's head where his face was buried into his blonde locks. "I wonder what they would have said if they knew the true me."
"They saw the true you, my version of you, my darling — a man with a hunger for a life he hasn't known before." Matthew sighed and pulled away slightly to caress Thomas' cheek with his palm. "I have seen this version of you since France and I have seen you enjoying life and laughing before."
Thomas moved his head slightly to press his lips to Matthew's palm. "You bring it out of me, Matthew." Thomas gave Matthew a soft kiss to the lips before he moved away and began to undress; readying himself for bed as the alcohol and night had turned him very tired.
Matthew followed Thomas' example and began to change into his pyjamas as well. He could not wait for tomorrow to come so he could see where Thomas spent his youth. They crawled under the bedsheets and Thomas laid his head upon Matthew's chest; his face hidden towards his neck where he could smell the whisky of the night upon his skin.
"I never wish to be without you" Matthew kissed the top of Thomas' head and wrapped his arms tighter around him.
"You don't have to wish, Matthew, because my love has belonged to you since the trenches of France." Were Thomas' last words before he fell asleep and soon enough, after a loving gaze over Thomas' peaceful face, Matthew let his eyelids fall heavy and sleep overtook him as well.