You - well, I don't think anybody loves Umbridge. Hell, don't think anybody likes her. JK did an anazing job of writing a universally hated character.

-YDHP-

"I really hate that they sent the letters out so late. The Diagon Alley rush sucks."

Vlad sighed, sat in his mothers kitchen waiting for George to find her shoes. The girl came barreling down the stairs clutching her canvas pumps, landing in a chair breathlessly.

"You stay right with Vlad, you hear me George?"

"Well duh!"

"Don't worry, her portkey still works in Diagon Alley. If for some bizarre reason anything happened despite my deal with the devil... she can come here or pop to Malfoy Manor. She'll be safe with us mum, I promise."

Done lacing up her shoes, George threw on her magically expanded backpack - courtesy of Vlad - and stood up, beaming.

"Ready!"

Sally hugged them both tightly, petting Vlad's hair softly as she gazed down at him.

"It's still so strange seeing you two together. Go on, off you go."

"We should be done by lunchtime, depending how busy Diagon Alley is. Ready George?"

She grabbed the portkey, holding on tight as they popped back to Malfoy Manor where everyone else was waiting.

"Ok, we're meeting the Weasleys and Hermione's parents at the Leaky Cauldron, since the Muggles can't get into Diagon Alley alone. Everybody ready?"

Bertrand nodded, as did everyone else. They each touched the next transport object, landing in the still-quiet corner by Gringotts that served as the portkey and apparition point.

"Wow. I've never seen it so empty."

"We always get here early. It'll fill up within the hour, so let's get the rest of the group and go to Gringotts."

If anyone asked; George was there with Ginny. Nobody really did though, their group usually a motley crew of different families. The Gringotts queues were already beginning to grow as they got there, George staying by Vlad's side the whole time as promised.

"We'll hit the Menagerie since, well, you can't. Meet you at Flourish and Blotts?"

"Works for me. Come on George."

Harry stayed with Vlad, Ginny and George as they went to the candy store, amassing enough candy and sweets to make the entirety of Hogwarts quite sick. They saw the Weasley twins vanish into Gambol joke store, Vlad under strict orders not to let George set one foot in therem

She got around that by asking Harry to go in for her. Vlad sighed in exasperation, but couldn't fault her resourcefulness.

"I promise I won't tell mum you let me get anything. She won't even see it!"

Rolling his eyes, Vlad fought a laugh at her feigned innocent face.

"Alright. Don't spoil your lunch with too much junk."

Pretending not to be chewing on a licorice wand, George repeated the innocent expression. Flourish and Blotts was already getting busy, and they had a whole lot of books to buy. Nobody seemed excited by the dozens of copies of 'Defensive Magical Theory' selling like hot cakes. Terrible, tasteless hot cakes.

"I need new Quidditch padding, third year stuff just doesn't fit me anymore."

Harry had pretty much doubled in size since he last played Quidditch at Hogwarts, so Vlad wasn't surprised his old stuff didn't go around him anymore.

"Alright, we'll do Quidditch store, Apothecary, stationary and then robes?"

Bertrand hung back with the Weasley and Granger parents, more used to the self-governing teens and using his time to keep watch around them.

George pottered around Quality Quidditch Supplies while Harry and Draco got measured for new padding - since being cured of lycanthropy, Draco's unnatural muscles had declined to leave him leaner, his appetite adjusting accordingly. So his older stuff was just as useless. Two golden brown bundles wrapped later, the two were ready to head onward.

"All done, let's get on to the Apothecary."

The shopkeepers were clearly torn between hating huge crowds and loving huge sales - they had nine Potions students, three of whom took Healing, plus a list from Severus to fill so he could putter about mixing stuff to entertain himself. The poor Apothecary man looked run ragged, but Malfoy money and Ingrid's icy glare had them done in record time.

"Now what?"

George looked up him, her mad curls lit up with the July sunshine as they bagged their stuff up.

"Parchment, ink and quills. Then Madam Malkins, although at this point I'm seriously considering mail order again."

Draco nodded in agreement, frowning at the milling crowds and noisy pre-teens.

"You're telling me. New plan; get a permanent Hogwarts staff so our book lists are always predictable. Then we can do all this early."

"Sounds good. Let's get this over with, I'm craving ice cream."

George had never been on their post-shop ice cream trip, but between her bizarre mix of matcha tea, lemon meringue and peanut butter flavour scoops plus ketchup (why Fortescue had that in was anyone's guess) and her giggles as Ingrid had husbands getting slapped by their wives for staring, Vlad reckoned she enjoyed the trip.

"We done?"

"We're done. See you at Kings Cross Hermione."

Hermione jumped back and forth between Malfoy Manor and her parents home, spending the last of her holiday with her parents before it was back to Hogwarts. Vlad took George home while the Weasleys headed for the Floo, and everyone else back to Malfoy Manor where Ingrid and Bertrand could recover from excessive sun exposure.

Next year, that would be him too.

That seemed even more insane to contemplate when looking at his tanned sister and mother, who were both avid fans of the sun. Sally was quite taken with the bag of sweets George came back with, so Vlad made a mental note to send her some Honeydukes packages over the school year. That meant getting the Giles' an owl that could come to school, and be permitted within the Fidelius charm.

Actually, he ought to do that anyway so George could write to her mother.

"George, you have a favourite owl breed?"

"Uh, why?"

"Because I'm guessing your Hogwarts letter was left on the grass outside, because it couldn't get through the Fidelius?"

"Yea- oh, I need to be able to write to mum!"

"Yep. So, let's jump back to the Alley and you can get an owl. Ok? Consider it a big brother gift."

George beamed, following him back to Diagon Alley and Vlad had to stay right by the counter to avoid being mauled or yelled at by a dozen different owls. His little sister chose a huge barn owl with messy feathers everywhere, which according to the Owlery owner had had very little interest. But George was enchanted.

"Fifteen galleons and I'll throw in two bags of owl nuts and his cage."

Vlad paid and helped George get it back to her home, getting death stares from the bird the whole time.

"Yes, I know you don't like vampires. I can't do anything about being a biter unfortunately."

The owl glared, but quieted down when George put an owl nut through the cage.

"You can get food for him at any decent pet store, and he can hunt for himself but only let him out at night or it'll be a little obvious."

"Makes sense."

Sally looked a little unsure, but remembered it was her only line of communication with George during the school years.

"What did you name him George?"

She rubbed her chin, thinking as the bird ruffled his feathers irritably.

"Dad woulda called him something like Scruff. So... Scruff it is. Ok Scruff, this is my mum, and this half breed here is my brother. He absolutely will not eat you, he just wanted to make sure me and our mum can chat. Welcome to your new family."

Scruff hooted balefully, then put his head under his wing and resolutely ignored them.

"He'll come around. You need to get back and sort your trunk out don't you?"

Vlad nodded, hugging both mother and sister.

"I do. I'll come by again in a couple of days, hang out before we have to go back to school."

"I look forward to it son."

Smiling, Vlad popped back to Malfoy Manor to find Harry lying on the grass outside playing with his snake. And that wasn't a euphemism.

"Lily in the great outdoors? I thought she was in love with Samael and refusing to leave his side."

Lily hissed grumpily at him, but allowed Vlad to reach out a hand and stroke her scales.

"She said you're as funny as rat poo. Why do you smell like owls?"

"I bought George an owl, because no standard Hogwarts owl can find her house."

"Look at you all big brother. Me and Lily are just getting some sun. Apparently with how much time she spends down in the trunk, she can confirm that your magical sunlight doesn't feel exactly like natural August rays."

"Well, Samael is a little conspicuous to have just lazing about in a field."

Lily hissed, looking up at Harry imploringly.

"I agree, we will find a place he can stretch his scales some day, but if he wants to be awake he's gotta hide while I'm still at school."

Vlad laid on the grass, watching Harry bask in the sun on his psuedo-scaled skin. He would never get enough of looking at Harry. His mate was so beautiful, Vlad couldn't help but stare.

"This is strange. Good strange."

"What?"

"Going back to Hogwarts. Starting the year with you."

Harry beamed.

Harry was vaguely bored waiting for Vlad to come back, but he was spending the last day he could with George and his mom. Harry perked up a minute later when Draco appeared with their now-liberated-from-her-fathers baby sister. Raven was teething, gnawing on her little fist but surprisingly crying very little.

"Hmm. Is there such a thing as teething potions?"

"Yep. And with her father being a Potions master, this little one has easy access to such things. So aside from the drooling, this little one shouldn't be distressed by sore gums. Isn't that right Raven?"

Draco let Harry get hold of the girl, Raven gurgling happily up at Harry. He pondered many times over Raven's conception since the day he met her. Male pregnancy was so rare a gay couple could easily go their whole lives and it never happen. Severus had said the likelihood of himself falling pregnant again was chronically unlikely, and he was human.

So Harry could in no way expect he and Vlad to sire children biologically, and that sort of disappointed him even though their relationship was still fresh. He had always had the vague notion of a kid or two in his future, but he was part reptile and Vlad a vampire. It didn't really seem to click, and that was without accounting for them being phoenix and basilisk.

"Come on you, lets get some playtime in before your dads appear to tell us off for corrupting you with fluffy toys."

Her warm black eyes and messy curls made for an interesting and rather adorable mix as Raven nodded, curls bouncing around her little face even if she didn't really understand what they were saying. She had a special 'egg' chair that helped her stay sat up, watching them and giggling whenever toys floated past, chubby little fingers reaching out to grab them.

"I don't know how muggles entertain children, this is about the easiest way to do it."

"I don't know, she likes being out in the garden too and muggles have those."

Draco considered that, nodding and then watching in surprise as a bottle floated in front of their faces, straight to little Raven's outstretched hand.

"Accidental magic before a year old? Or is that a vamp thing?"

Vlad's voice surprised them both, walking in from the portkey point with a smile in Harry's direction.

"Not a vampire thing. I'm not surprised she's magical though."

"How come?"

"I'm half vampire, half squib and I'm magical. She's half wizard and half biter, it makes sense."

Vlad sat down next to where Harry was perched to play with Raven, kissing his boyfriend and looking at the little girl.

"You're right. It does make sense."

"Where's Ingrid?"

"Sleeping. Back on days soon."

"It's her last year at Hogwarts. It'll be weird not having her around to harass me between classes."

Vlad caught the bottle Raven dropped now it had run dry, handing it to a nearby house elf to be cleaned, sterilized and then refilled.

Bertrand and Severus found the three teen boys sat there at Raven's beck and call, liberating their daughter from them to check she hadn't been critically harmed out of their supervision. Harry didn't want to contemplate why they had stayed away so long when Draco had come down with her.

"You all ready to go back to Hogwarts?"

"Ready to dodge a vampire hater, keep Riddle in the dark about me double crossing him, keep my scars and Dark Mark and humanity hidden all whilst taking OWLs right as I'm about to turn into a bloodthirsty monster? Bring it on."

"You're so melodramatic Vlad."

"Eat me cure-breed."

Draco pulled a face, sneer breaking into a smile as he then rolled over and stood up, eyeing his watch.

"Time for dinner almost. Then tomorrow is final preparations."

"Then the day after that-"

"Back to Hogwarts."

Their final preparations weren't really that major - check their trunks, make sure everyone's uniforms still fit (Harry's growth did appear to have tapered off at last) and in Harry and Draco's cases, steal some last time in with Raven before they vanished off for months at a time.

"You, little madam, don't be forgetting your big brothers."

"I'm sure we can make some house elves wear wigs and and talk rubbish, can't be much different."

Mock-scowling at Ingrid, Harry handed off Raven to Draco so he could hug her, then returned her to her fathers. Bertrand would have to leave his boyfriend and daughter for much of the time, as if he wasn't seen around Hogwarts as much it would be hugely suspicious.

Twin gasps of pain sounded as Severus and Vlad suddenly doubled over, Vlad clutching his chest as Severus grabbed his arm. It didn't take much to work out the cause, but there was nothing to be done until the wave passed.

"I thought yours didn't hurt?"

Ingrid peered down at her brother, watching as he peered down his shirt as though expecting the Dark Mark to have been freshly burned in.

"Sometimes the dork lard likes to leave it to ache constantly, which makes mine itchy. When he wants a meeting, it burns. Even mine."

"Your presence not expected?"

"Probably, but I'm not going."

Vlad dropped into a chair, drawing in a few deep breaths while Harry ached to somehow make the pain stop. His face cleared a minute later, the pain apparently subsided.

"Is there no way to break the magical connection?"

Bertrand quizzed, obviously concerned by his partner in distress.

"Probably, but I'd need to examine the exact charms that went into it to work out how it unwinds. It would be far more practical just to kill him."

"You should go to that meeting bat breath. If he's calling it the day before Hogwarts starts, it might be important to know what's going on."

Harry hated that Ingrid had a point. He didn't want Vlad in danger, but nobody else had an inside link.

"Fuck, I hadn't thought of that. I'll give it five minutes, stroll in fashionably late."

Vlad left as he said, leaving behind Harry to pace nervously until Bertrand ended up offering him Raven as a distraction. It sort of worked, the gurgling infant putting a smile on his face even through his constant worry about his boyfriend.

Said boyfriend returned an hour later, paler than usual (which was saying something) and carrying the unmistakable smell of dark magic and death on his clothes.

"Was it bad?"

"Put it this way... Hogwarts needs a new Muggle Studies teacher. It was meant to be a celebration, Riddle and his minions not worrying so much about their kids learning. Like there are many kids of those psychos taking Muggle Studies. I need a shower."

He left, squeezing Harry's hand but clearly in need of removing the night from himself and Harry let him. Just like he let Vlad burrow into his arms in bed, holding him after he gave every detail he could about the meeting to the other residents of the Manor.

"She... she saw me. She asked me to help her and I couldn't say a word. I had to stand there and watch, to pretend it wasn't getting to me."

"Not many could do that Vlad. And you know if you had tried to interfere" Harry swallowed heavily "he would have just killed you as well as her. Come on, we'll do shots together and sleep."

Vlad looked perplexed, at least until Harry produced the vials of Dreamless Sleep for them both. It carried them into blissful blackness, ensuring both were rested for the early start of getting to Kings Cross early.

Used to being alone, they were all surprised that there were already wizards on the platform. Aurors, scanning the empty train for Merlin-knew-what.

"What are you kids... and adult, doing here?"

Vlad being the one Aurors were wary of after his trifles with them in the past, stepped up and scowled.

"Ingrid, me and Bertrand have been issued a portkey for this trip every year. Harry and Draco opted to join us and there is no rule against it. So if you'll excuse us."

"Hang on, where are your trunks?"

Everyone pulled out their shrunken down possessions, prompting more complaining about underage magic until they were reminded Ingrid had aged out of that particular restriction. Finally, with the driver and trolley lady peering out from the front of the train, they were allowed to go take their usual compartment.

The Aurors peered in every half an hour, horrified when the lovely sweets lady pulled out Blood Pops as Harry jokingly asked for them, throwing them at Bertrand. The seat that would undoubtedly be taken by Hermione was temporarily laden with their usual haul, having now beaten the rush.

"Pop back anyway, with the steady stream of Gryffindors in here we'll probably run out."

She nodded, wheeling herself out with a rather schoolgirl wink at Bertrand that left them all laughing as she left. Clearing his throat awkwardly, Bertrand resumed staring out of the window.

"Make sure you save us some, me and Hermione have to go to the Prefect meeting first thing."

"Speaking of leaving, I should go before I'm seen with you."

Ingrid pocketed some of the lollipops, then stood and wandered off down the train to find herself a compartment for other Slytherins or perhaps just people less embarrassing than Gryffindors.

"I'm supposed to chaperone that prefect meeting now, as many of the teachers are already at Hogwarts."

"Bertrand, take this. You'll probably see Dumbledore before I do."

Vlad handed the older vampire a folded up piece of parchment, which Bertrand peered in to, then nodded and tucked into his inside pocket. Harry had his suspicions about what it said. Draco followed his would-be-stepfather out, leaving Harry and Vlad for the last few minutes before the train began to board at ten thirty. They couldn't risk getting too cozy, not with the aurors about.

"Fifth year. Sometimes I'm amazed we made it this far."

-YDHP-

Back to Hogwarts! I know Prof. Burbage gets killed off later in canon, but it wasn't random.