Three in a row, way to go! I would just like to say that I am on a role here! And now back to your previously scheduled fan-fiction.

The water wasn't even warm.

Despite the ominous steam and sulphur smell, and the warning signs, the pool was cool to the touch, and much deeper then I thought. I suddenly regretted the idea of going in fully clothed.

Skylar and Luca stared at me in a mixture of horror and fascination, waiting for me to spontaneously combust. I wave as I bob up and down in the water happily.

"Come on in guys the waters fine!" I call out, flicking some of the murky green in their direction. They back away from it, still not fully trusting.

"Aw come, on don't be chickens!" I don't realize it, but as I call this out two coils edge toward me and begin to wrap themselves around my legs.

"It's totally safe, I promise you!" As I say these words, the god of jinxing-stuff takes notice, and an instant later I scream as the tendrils pull me downward and into the cavern.

I trash desperately as the sulfurous water stings my eyes. Water fills my mouth as I instinctively try to scream.

It feels like I'm down here for hours. In reality, it was probably less then a minute before my head broke the surface of the water.

I gasped for air as the tendrils through me onto the damp, hard ground. When my eyes begin to clear I can see through the tears a large cavern lit with what appears to be torches on either of the walls.

All around me, massive figures stand, muttering to each other. I yelp as what I think is a spear pokes me in the side.

"You are a demigod, but not one of my master's, I smell it. Speak, who are you?" I look up and stare into a single bloodshot brown eye.

Great. Cyclops. I open my mouth to speak, but begin to cough uncontrollably instead. I am rewarded with another poke by the spear, harder than the last time.

"He... phaestus..." I rasp out. "I... need to... see... Hephaestus..."

The monsters growl to each other. One picks me up roughly and throws me over his shoulder. I land with an oomph and the air is knocked out me.

"That you will demigod. That you will."

My captor and his friends (I count four altogether) haul me through a room filled with lava. Giant pits of it. Everywhere I look, Cyclops are building, dipping items in the pits with their bare hands, shaping their metal creations, then dipping them into buckets of water nearby. The steam travels upwards through holes in the ceiling, probably to thermal features above.

Quite a few Cyclops stop working to stare a me, but one of my spear carrying party raps them on the head and says "Stop staring and get back to work!" Once, the one walking to my right slaps his hand in the lava for emphasis, and one of the sizzling droplets lands right next to me. I cringe, wondering how long it is before they roast me alive.

We walk past the lava room, into what looks like a massive garage. In the center of it is a grimy, frazzled little man with a beard is tinkering with what looks like a massive celestial bronze rib cage. The odd thing is it looks vaguely familiar.

And when the man (who I have gathered is Hephaestus, due to my great observation skills and the fact that he is wearing a auto-mechanic's uniform with his name on it.) turns to me, I realize that he looks familiar too.

The great god Hephaestus, master craftsmen, inventor of the gods and father of a member of the Seven looks near identical to a homeless man who lives under a Montopolis highway pass named Crazy Joe.

I kid you not. I have talked with Joe many times, and there is no way I can forget a face that hideous. He has the same exact bulbous nose, the same squinty, bag lined eyes, the same stringy lips. He even has the same long, bristly black beard, always full of yesterday's meal or, in Hephaestus's case, wire, nuts and bolts.

So can understand why, when the Cyclops throws me roughly to ground, the first thing I say when I find my hurting voice is "Joe?"

Hephaestus's eyes narrow in confusion. "Byron, what is this, and why'd it call me Joe?"

Byron (the cyclops) stands at attention and salutes. "Sir, we found this" he looks at me in disgust, "demigod trespassing in the Green Dragon entrance. She requested an audience with you. Should we kill her?" As he says this final sentence, he licks his lips in anticipation.

Hephaestus shakes his head. "Not right now. I'll hear her out, demigods tend to have reasons when they come to gods to help."

After the Cyclops salute and leave, he turns to me. "Well what, are you suddenly mute? Speak!"

I don't know why, maybe because he willed me to, or maybe I just wanted to to tell someone, to get this off my chest, but the entire story of the past three weeks comes out in a jumbled mush. Hephaestus, for the most part, listens patiently, save for pausing me once or twice to clarify.

When I'm done, his jagged unibrow sinks down in a frown.

"We gods knew Caligula was back, but he has been hiding out where neither the gods nor Thanatos can reach him. Up until know we were unaware of his plans." He stares off into space, thinking, or maybe remembering.

"Caligula has always been power hungry. He has spent the last millennia gathering followers, now he wishes for wealth." he turns to me, his expression dead serious. I think. Hephaestus seems to have only three expressions.

"God-emperors like Caligula take power away from the gods, and disrupt the natural order of the world. If he continues to grow in strength, the gods, and the balance we bring, will deteriorate. Natural disasters will become more common, governments more unstable. Basically, he's a bad lot."

I nod. "Yea, I kinda got that impression from him. But please, don't tell anyone else about this. I don't want to spend the rest of my life in Double Guantanamo."

Hephaestus considers this. "I suppose there's no reason to involve the other gods in this. They mess with everything, y'know. Always arguing, never get anything done, then they make up stupid, niggling little rules and call them 'policy'. Governmental masturbation more like it." Just like Congress.

"Of course, you can't expect to go up against an emperor with who knows how many followers and expect to win. You'll need help." He looks at me critically. "In your case, you're going to need a lot of help." Ouch. That hurt.

Hephaestus pulls a buzzer out of thin air (literally) and presses it. I hear a crash and then the sound of running from a nearby door. A voice calls out "Uno memento! Just hold on a second!" I hear another crash, closer this time, and "I'm fine!"

Finally the door swings wide open to reveal something I never thought I'd see here. Something I never thought I see again.

Leo Valdez, standing in front of me, in all his engine grease stained glory.

And you thought I wasn't going to have any cannon characters. Ha! In this last chapter I've had two. Yes, Leo Valdez will be making a special guest appearance. Please tell me if I make him OOC.

Happy Reading!

-Sage Nicholson