Nishikino Nico meant what she told the boy at the konbeno, with all her heart. She'd been blessed beyond any merit in having many decades of life and love with Maki-chan. But if you asked her what she'd give to have Maki back, and keep her forever? Anything. She hurried home past the overgrown shrine that always gave her a shuddery feeling. Memories flooded her like a freezing wind. She made to go over and sit down and rest, but everything went black ...

Come to Bed

"Hey, Nico .. you going to be up much later?"

"Not sure, Maki. You should go ahead and sleep." Nico had come awake suddenly from zoning out. She had the strangest feeling, something she couldn't put into words.

"How do I do that without my little angel?"

Maki had been kind of old-fashioned lately. Flowery. Romantic. When she wasn't sleeping all day, that is. It was hard enough coordinating when your girlfriend has a night shift that includes the hospital morgue. But lately she seemed to prefer spending money to running errands with Nico. She'd been making up for it by being intensively passionate in the couple of hours they had together each day.

Nico didn't mind giving Maki time to warm up under the covers. Maki had always had cold feet but lately it seemed worse; Was she getting poor circulation from something? That, and how tired and pale she seemed to be lately, were cause for concern. Nico had been stressing over many things lately, it seemed. She'd even been scared when Honoka and Rin mentioned that people in the area were disappearing lately. From the park, from cemeteries. One even went missing from the basement of a hospital.

She was also a little worried over Maki's behavior lately. A week ago, she'd innocently made the remark that she'd never ever forget their Love Live victory.

"You say things like never and ever and forever pretty easily, Nico."

What the heck was THIS about?

"But do you mean it?"

"Umm, mean what, exactly, Maki-chan?" Nico said, bringing her tomato juice and tsukemono. She noticed she sipped the juice a little and ignored the tsukemono.

"Forever. You say you'll love me forever, you want to be with me forever, bla-bla. But you don't mean "forever" forever."

Nico remembered she felt cold all over.

"Umm what have I done or said to make you say that, Maki-chan? There'll never be anyone else, you know that."

"there you go again," Maki had said, a little sourly. "I'd be happy if I thought that was true."

Nico had walked over and taken Maki's cold hands in hers. Come to think of it, she'd noticed Maki's circulation was worse then, so it had been going on for a while, hadn't it?

"Maki," she'd said. "We are for always. I DO mean it," and looked right in her eyes.

What she saw in Maki's eyes had sort of chilled her. Disbelief, uncertainty, hope ... and almost bottomless sadness. Then the expression went away and Maki's old expression came back.

The sense of unease had started around then. Maki had disappeared suddenly for a few days without warning, and been closed mouthed about what had happened when she returned. "Just some hospital business," she'd said. The unease was sort of jelling inside. Maki'd been different since then. Strange.

What Maki's sudden obsession with "forever" had to do with it, Nico wasn't sure. But there was something there.

Tonight, Nico was feeling like two people in one body. One part of her was upset about what seemed to be a rift in her relationship with Maki. Another part was weighing a decision of some sort that she didn't want to put her finger on.

"Do I ever want to be without her?" she asked herself out loud. She remembered the feeling after her daydream, whatever that was. A feeling of loss. Loss of Maki.

People had often admired Nico's determination, the pure way she went after what was most important to her. In truth, she'd always had more than one thing to focus on. For a while it was her idol career and her family. Then her family and her idol hoarding habit. Then her family, her new friends, and her idol career. Then all of the above plus a girlfriend.

But if she was honest, even her family, that she would have died to protect, wasn't as pure an obsession as her love for Maki. It was the most important thing she'd ever had.

She decided to phone her mother. No reason she wanted to focus on.

"Hi, mama. No, I just wanted to call you. Ummm I wanted to hear your voice. No, nothing in particular is wrong, just .. I don't know, I've been having ... kind of bad dreams or premonitions or something and I wanted to touch base with you. Mama I don't know if we ever sat down and said stuff like this openly. Umm .. you've always been my inspiration. What you did keeping us going after papa died. When things seem bad, I remember you soldiering on without any complaint. Us kids are luckier than a lot of kids that had two parents. You taught me how to love other people and how to be a good woman."

"Oh, no, I didn't mean to scare you, mama. Like I said, it's just ... nerves I guess. Just talking to you makes me feel a lot better. Umm ... are the kids there? I kind of wanted to touch base with them, too. I always love you mama."

"Cocoro? Hey, are the kids there, too? You're doing an amazing job with them, sis. I am so proud of you all the time. Ummm sorry, I guess I am being sappy and scaring you guys. I told mama but I was feeling uneasy and wanted to hear your voices. I know I'm being silly. I always love you, I am always so proud of you. I think you'll knock em dead at Otonokizaka and I am happy we could be part of giving you that. If Cocoa and Cotarou want to talk to me, that's fine."

"Hey Cocoa and Cotarou are you behaving for mama and Cocoro? That's good. You are both wonderful kids, and it was a privilege to be your big sister. Cocoa, you always stay the sweet angel you are now, promise Nico. Cotarou, you are my brave little brother, but don't scare mama, okay?"

She talked with them a while longer. Her mother didn't sound reassured, and neither did Cocoro. But there were other phone calls she felt like making.

All of the ยต's girls were a little confused at how sappy Nico was being. Umi suspected she was drunk, and Nico had to say she wasn't a couple of times. Putting embarrassment aside, she made sure to tell each of them how much she valued them. What they'd meant to her, a lonely failure hiding out in the room at the end of the hall for years. The girl with the leaflets that everyone ignored and felt sorry for in equal parts.

And then came the call she'd put off all night.

"Nico! whatever it is you are going to do, don't do it!" were the first words Nico heard when she got through.

Nozomi didn't even give Nico time to say anything.

"I suddenly felt like I had to do a reading on you. It's the worst I've ever seen. The Fool, Death, the Devil, the Tower, the Three, Nine and Ten of Swords ..."

Nico didn't pretend, to herself or Nozomi, that she didn't understand, any more.

"It's too late, Nozomi."

"Nico, the cards say it's not too late. Whatever's going on, you can still escape what's in front of you."

"Outside? Sure. I just leave. I just let everything go. I give in to fear, and common sense, and I just go. I go, right now. But inside? It really is too late. I just wanted to thank you. You were my first friend where I had the most exciting time of my life. You've been the one who always understands me. It's no surprise you're still in tune with me."

"Nico. What will we be? Anything?"

"I don't know, Nozomi. I don't."

"And not even knowing - anything - your mind is made up? Your heart is set on doing something terrible?"

"I think it was too late years ago. I can't live without her, Nozomi."

Then:

"Goodbye, Nozomi." There wasn't any point in going on. It would just make both of them sad.

"Goodbye, Nico." Too late. She could hear Nozomi crying. She pressed the hang-up button gently.

Was there really anything else she needed to do before going in that bedroom? Nothing that meant anything. Nothing that couldn't wait forever.

She had a feeling that Maki was still awake. Still waiting for her. Sensing her.

Maki confirmed it as Nico came closer to the door.

"Come to bed."

For one last time, Nico responded in the spirit of their old days of squabbling and bantering.

"Keep the bed warm for me, Maki," she said pointedly. A bit sarcastically.

Nico took down her hair. She was already in her nightgown. It had a low neckline, not that she'd ever had anything to show off in it. Though Maki had always said she had a pretty neck and shoulder.

After a long while, Maki's response had the same amount of irony and perhaps humor that Nico's had.

"I'll do my best.