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Into Your Gravity
Chapter Five: Advice
I asked God who I'm supposed to be.
The stars smiled down on me,
God answered in silent reverie,
I said a prayer and fell asleep.
Dream - Priscilla Ahn
Luna's mood did not improve for the rest of the day, though her face largely remained as placid as ever. Even forcing herself to think of a happy thought in order to conjure up a perfect hare-shaped Patronus in Charms did not lift her spirits, despite the fact that her corporeal Patronus caused her Charms professor to squeal with delight.
Her new friends were stunned and impressed as well, as they were struggling to produce anything at all as they shouted "Expecto Patronum" repeatedly. Luna did not mention that she had been practicing her Patronus for a couple of years, thanks to Harry and the D.A.
Later, at dinner, Lucinda attempted to interrogate her about working with Tom Riddle in Potions. "What did he say?" she asked, leaning eagerly across the table. "What did you talk about? What did he smell like?"
"Oh, for heaven's sake!" Cat interjected, slamming her fork down on the table. "Some of us are trying to eat!"
"Don't pretend you don't want to know," sniffed Lucinda, tossing her magnificent head.
Luna, for her part, appeared to be utterly fixated on attempting to build a pyramid out of her string beans and did not respond.
The girls returned to Ravenclaw Tower, and Luna settled herself into a plush armchair by the fireplace. She started working on her Charms homework, legs curled up underneath her so that only her pink toes were peeking out. She worked studiously for several minutes until she glanced up to see Cat gesticulating silently to Lucinda and Lorraine. Cat froze mid-gesture when she noticed Luna's gaze, then tried to pass it off for fixing her hair.
"Yes?" asked Luna.
Cat coughed, avoiding eye contact.
"Oh, honestly." Lucinda rolled her eyes, hands on her hips. "Luna, we were just wondering if you're alright. You haven't said two words all afternoon."
Luna blinked. "You're wondering if I'm alright?"
"Come off it, we like you now," Cat snapped.
Lorraine added, "Yeah, you're one of us now."
A smile bubbled up out from under Luna's sour mood, fizzing into her belly, overflowing, and spilling a warmth down to her toes. "I like that," she said.
"Well, go on then. What's the matter?" Lucinda said with melodramatic exasperation.
Temptation to tell them the truth filled her. To not be alone with her trouble, to find connection in complicated places. Instead, she sighed, reigning her heart in, still smiling. "I'll be fine. I promise," she added, catching their disbelieving glances exchanged between one another.
Settling back in to focus on her homework again, Luna nonetheless felt less alone, even if she did have to keep her secrets. Her mood was much improved as her quill scratched away on her parchment.
That night, back in her bed, shielded from the strange world by bed curtains and blankets, Luna snuggled into her pillow and slept soundly.
The weekend approached without serious incident, and though Tom was in Luna's N.E.W.T.-level Transfiguration class, he sat on the opposite side of the room from her, centered amidst an insulating layer of Slytherin lackeys, and he did not so much as glance in her direction for the duration of the class.
Dumbledore was exactly the sort of teacher she had thought he would be, releasing a flock of several Augureys from the tip of his wand with a flourish halfway through his lecture on Conjuration. Luna clapped with delight, then spent the rest of the period intermittently stroking one of the dark greenish birds that had settled itself on her desk.
At the end of the lesson, as Luna began gathering her things with the rest of the students, Dumbledore said, "Miss Lovegood, do you mind waiting a moment?" Luna waved Cat along, who was hovering next to her, and stayed seated, scratching under her Augurey friend's chin.
"How is everything going for you, Miss Lovegood?" Dumbledore asked, seating himself behind the desk at the front of the room after the last student had trickled out and the door shut behind them. With a wave of his hand, the window behind the desk flew open and most of the Augureys flapped outside, only the one on Luna's desk remaining behind.
"Oh, quite well. I'm starting to really enjoy myself here." The Augurey affectionately nibbled one of Luna's fingers.
"Most excellent. And I hope the wardrobe I conjured up for you was satisfactory?" he asked, eyes twinkling.
Luna nodded with a benign smile. "Yes, it's almost as though I picked them out myself, sir. Thank you."
"I am very pleased to hear you are doing well. I note that Miss Litner, Miss Viridian, and Miss McTavish have welcomed you into Ravenclaw with open arms."
"They've been wonderful," said Luna. "I'm really quite fond of them." She held her arm out for the Augurey to step on, which it did promptly, gripping her slender forearm lightly in its talons. Luna stood from the desk, the bird swaying gently on her arm.
"And Professor Slughorn tells me that he's paired you with one of Hogwarts' most talented students for Potions, Mister Riddle."
Luna licked her lips, avoiding Dumbledore's eyes as she walked the bird to the open window. "Yes, sir," she answered, "Professor Slughorn was kindly trying to ease my workload my first few weeks."
There was a momentary silence during which Luna sensed Dumbledore assessing her response. She ran a single finger between the Augurey's eyes, and the bird closed its eyes in unmistakeable enjoyment.
"I must regret to inform you that at this time, I have not made any progress on the puzzling problem of how to return you to your own time," said Dumbledore.
"That's understandable," Luna said, "you've only had a couple of days." She stuck her arm with the Augurey on it out the open window, but the bird did not fly away. "Go on, then," she said to the bird. "You go and fly." The bird squeezed her arm with its talons gently. "It's alright, you can come visit me whenever you want." At that, the bird finally spread its large wings, leaping into the air and soaring away. When Luna turned back around, it was to see Dumbledore watching her thoughtfully.
"Very wise witches and wizards have studied the phenomena of Time for many years and have been unable to do that which I am attempting to do. I need to be as honest as possible with you about the task ahead of us, Miss Lovegood," he said.
Luna was unruffled. "I know, sir. I appreciate you trying very much."
This elicited a chuckle from Dumbledore, the kind of chuckle usually reserved for grandchildren from their affectionate grandparents. "If I may say so with having known you only a very short time, you are quite a remarkable witch. You have already demonstrated a generous spirit, courage, and steadfast faith. These are valuable gifts among Wizarding-kind and Muggles alike, especially in these dark days of Grindelwald and World Wars. I am most charmed to have you here with us so unexpectedly." He paused, then continued, "And perhaps your gifts might similarly charm someone who may need them above all."
Luna felt she might float right off the ground from such a lovely compliment, but she furrowed her brow slightly at his last statement. "What do you mean?"
"Oh, I'm just a codgery old fool," Dumbledore said, waving a hand, the window shutting with a bang. He stood up from his desk, suddenly busy and bustling. "Don't mind me! Now, it's time for lunch!"
Luna pondered Dumbledore's words as she chewed her Shepherd's pie at lunch, then bid Cat, Lorraine, and Lucinda goodbye at the end of lunch as they headed to their classes. Luna had a free period after lunch, and intended to spend it in the library getting a start on her Arithmancy homework before the weekend. The Arithmancy professor had assigned an extremely complicated numerology chart with an accompanying essay to be due at the start of the following week, and Luna was sure it would take several hours to complete.
After running up to her dormitory to pick up her Arithmancy textbook and adding it to her bag, she made her way to the library. Upon entering, she twirled widdershins seven times, as her father had taught her to do in order to fend off Wrackspurts prior to any studying which would require great focus. Then she headed off to find a table.
Tom was holed up in the library, having eaten his lunch quickly before setting up to study through his free period that afternoon. There were a number of books spread out on the table in front of him, ranging in size from fitting in the palm of his hand to an enormous red leather-bound volume that consumed half the tabletop when open. A bottle of black ink was open, and a long piece of parchment was resting atop two large books, still shining with wet ink, as he continued to write in neat, thin handwriting on a second sheet. Professor Merrythought had only asked for the Defense Against the Dark Arts essay to be ten inches, and he had already written twice that.
He glanced up when he saw a flash of blonde out of the corner of his eye. It was that Lovegood girl. His left eyebrow raised as she began to twirl aimlessly for a minute before seeming to remember that she had come to the library for a reason and setting off for a table.
He pursed his lips. The last thing he needed was some insane girl who seemed to know him quite a fair bit better, after just a few minutes of conversation, than anyone else in the school - except for perhaps Dumbledore - having a significant presence in his life. He had too much to do, too much at stake, to make any missteps for the remainder of his schooling, especially with Dumbledore so intent on keeping an eye on him after the last school year. The girl fortunately did not appear to have seen him, so he lifted the enormous book off the table in front of him and propped it up in front of his face before continuing to work on his essay, the scratching of his quill the only appreciable sound he could hear.
His peace was interrupted by small hands grasping the large book from the other side, then hauling his shield away. Luna Lovegood snapped the book shut then held it against her chest, thin arms wrapped around it, the cover completely hiding her body from neck to nearly her knees. "Hello," she said.
Tom scowled at the disruption, venomous irritation pooling in his mind like blood, and he leaned forward across the table, opening his mouth to say something nasty.
"I'd like to be your friend," she cut him off before he could speak.
He stared, mouth hanging open.
"That's not a very good look for you, you know," she said helpfully as she laid the giant book down and sat in a chair across the table from him, folding her hands on the table in front of her.
Snapping his mouth shut, he narrowed his eyes at her. "Who do you think you are, talking to me that way in Potions then waltzing in here and interrupting me like this? Can't you see I'm busy? What do you want?"
"I've already told you," she said, tilting her head to the side. "I'd like to be your friend." She repeated it in a slow, clear tone of voice with more enunciation, as though he simply hadn't heard her the first time.
He snorted, shook his head, his face a mask but his heart pounding. "I don't need your friendship."
"Well, nobody needs friendship, do they?"
"First intelligent thing you've said."
She continued, "It's only one of the things that makes life, you know, worth living."
Her over-large eyes didn't blink as they stared at him. He shifted half a centimeter in his seat and stared back at her, trying to get her to break his gaze, but she simply continued to look at him with an expressionless face. Finally, he broke eye contact under the pretense of glancing at his watch. "I haven't the time for this."
Luna started, as though she had forgotten they were having a conversation. His irritation ratcheted up another level at this, causing the fingers of his wand hand to twitch, longing.
"I just want to be your friend. I think you could use one. We could talk. Y'know, chat. We can just sit in the library together sometimes, if you like."
"I have friends -" he began.
"You haven't," she interrupted.
"- and I don't need you in the library distracting me," he continued, voice rising slightly over hers. "The library is the one place I go where I don't have to -". This time he cut himself off, clamping his mouth shut as he realized that he was beginning to volunteer personal information. His lips were a thin line, jaw set, brows low. A disconcerting feeling washed over him, mingled with fury with himself at letting the insufferable brat across the table to destabilize him enough that he was losing self-control. Even in the most minute of ways, even for a heartbeat.
He stood up from his seat, pulling his wand out of his robes pocket. A wave of his wand started his things about packing themselves into his bag, the ink bottle stoppering itself, the books closing. He walked around the table, placing his free hand on the surface and leaning into her. To his surprise and her credit, she didn't so much as flinch. His voice was quiet, composed, and deadly as he said, "Listen, Luna Lovegood, because I think you may be confused. I don't want to be your friend. I don't want to speak with you, nor sit in the library with you. And I certainly don't want to chat with you." He leaned a tiny bit closer, his breath causing the hairs just around her face to flutter. "In fact, the only thing I want from you at all is for you to never make the mistake of speaking to me again. And if you can't manage it on your own, I'm certain I can assist you."
There was a long pause during which Luna's chest rose and fell with her breath. Tom inhaled deeply to calm himself, as his heart was still thudding annoyingly in his ears despite his cool demeanor, and noted she smelled faintly of citrus. Her shampoo, perhaps. He watched her eyes as they searched his face then darted to his left hand on the table, where his ring glittered. Then she suddenly stood up, forcing him to take a step backward. "Fine." She twirled around, her hair very nearly whipping his face as she did so, snatched her book bag up off the floor, and left the library.
After watching her go with a violent satisfaction, Tom seized his own self-packed bag and stalked out of the library, heading in the direction of the Slytherin Dungeon with his hands in his pockets and a black look on his face.