Disclaimer: Naruto x Multi Crossover - I own nothing
Story Start!
Evil was cool.
It was as simple as that, while everyone was suppose to look up to the good guys, there were very few people that didn't have their favorite bad guys.
Now Seeking Rad Evil Generals
Join the Evil Group, now seeking scientists of all mad varieties, funding for wicked and evil experiments will be provided.
Also seeking minions, goods, flunkies, and grunts as well.
"Sir... this leaflet won't attract any serious applicants." A small woman spoke.
She was short, extremely short and petite for her age (in her 20s) with white hair in a bob cut and pink eyes, her left eye covered by a leather strap, and her body barely covered up by straps and belts. Her tiny breasts were barely covered, and she only had a single strap that went to her crotch, wrapped underneath it, and went up her butt crack to connect to the back. Her arms and legs being covered in straps and belts as well.
Her name was Porno.
The Evil General of Finance and Information: Porno.
She served as a secretary of sorts, her job needing her to be close to her boss, and considering that they only had 2 people in their evil group of villains, it was no surprise that she was placed in such a high position. As much of a loli as she looked, she had experience with evils that would make many people blush.
"On the contrary, attracting serious villains is all that will do. I listed no address, and I gave no information. A serious villain will do whatever it takes to join somebody openly seeking to enlist."
Graduate of Konoha Gakuen, and Leader of the evil group: Naruto Uzumaki.
He was not much younger than Porno, being 21 years old, while she was just in her mid-20s. He was taller than her by a lot though, to the point that her short stature put her just up to the middle of his stomach. He stood at nearly 6 feet tall, with dangerously messy blond hair and whisker marked cheeks. He wore a black cloak with red flames on the bottom, black pants that had an orange rope tied around them to hold it up, and a black headband with a red spiral on it, with no shirt under his cloak.
He had it all.
His goal was simple.
Rule over Japan, and be the best villain group that he could be, in a world of heroes and villains, he decided to become a villain for the simple reason that villains were cooler than heroes. Nobody had the guts to recuit for evil in broad daylight, nobody who feared the police at least. He didn't fear them, he embraced the challenge with open arms. He also sought out those who wouldn't feel shame over their ways being used for evil purposes.
"So it's a test... we're not a big group yet." Porno stated with a neutral shift to her tone.
She had been working with Naruto for a mere 2 years, building up his information network from scratch so that she could keep tabs on heroes while also building funds. As the General of Finance and Information, it was her job to control their money flow and gather information. She was suited to both of those fields of work, since she knew the dark life like the back of her hand, and participated in some of the worst activities known to man.
"If you count the prostitutes..." Naruto hinted.
"I'm not counting my Porn Studio, their purpose is to use their bodies to gather information and funding. They have no combat abilities, and the Porn Studio is scattered across the nation in secret." Porno was used to training prostitutes and making them loyal money makers. She had been been a hooker and a pimp before, and nobody was better at gathering information about the dark world than a whore on the streets. They saw everything, and met with people when they were at their most vulnerable.
Since her name was Porno, she nicknamed her Evil Subordinates the Porn Studio, since Porn was in her very name, and she worked with sex workers.
Fitting.
"Okay, so here is the plan. We wait here for the General applicants to come to us."
"Nobody is going to come, nobody is insane enough to come." Porno knew they were in for a hell of a journey if they were going to take over the nation as an evil group of 2 people.
"Somebody will come."
"Why are you so confident in this bad recruitment poster?" Porno asked when she heard that overconfidence.
Unjustified overconfidence.
"Because, only somebody who is truly insane would be able to come and actually manage to put together the clues. I used invisible ink to write down the address on the back of the paper, and only lemon juice will let you see it." Naruto laughed at how only an insane person would think to check for that. "Insanity and evil go hand in hand, and I want only those with the brilliant minds filled with madness and badness on this team... or just insanity." Naruto chuckled to himself at his own plans.
The door opened.
A small floating orb came in, and started to black some music.
"Get a load of me! I am the great and powerful, brillaint and beautiful, Ivanka Robotnik, Dr. Eggmaam as my enemies know me, the great scourge of this world, and the angriest woman alive."
'Somebody actually came.' Porno thought with a raised eyebrow.
"You're hired, we can decide what your General position is going to be and talk details later. I still need 2 more Generals. Well Dr. Eggmaam, you're welcome to make yourself at home." Naruto looked the woman up and down.
About 30 years old, a woman with long bown hair with bangs that became frizzled at the tips of them, and large blue glasses. A red jacket over her large chest, with bright yellow buttons, with a black mini-skirt and thigh high black boots. She was already dressed for evil, and even on top of her head she had goggles for robotics work. She had a large forehead, with the bangs shooting at an angle down her face.
"Not much of an interview."
"You figured out the clues, that makes you worthy enough for the General job. Just letting you know, as a General you are going to either build or recruit your own squad. This is Porno, the Evil General of Finance and Information. If you have any questions or need to talk about funds, she is your girl." Naruto gestured to his secretary.
"... and what do I get out of this."
"What do you want?"
"I want to build my own Eggmaam Land."
"Then you will have it, if you work hard and conquer this land with me, I will give a region of it to you for your Eggmaam Land." Naruto told her with no issues at all with her request. She snickered and gave a bow, seemingly okay with that arrangement.
Porno marked her down.
-Hours Later-
"Sup, this the place for the science funding?"
"We are an evil group, are you an applicant?"
"Yeah, sure." A average height woman with extremely messy green hair spoke, and large spiral glasses over her eyes. She wore a white black coat and a black, barely there at all, tank top that didn't cover much of her extremely large chest or her belly. She was barely decently dressed, and her clothes were practically falling off of her body. "I'm fine with joining a bad guy time, as long as I can have fun with my experiments."
"Go wild." Naruto told her.
"Your funding will be performance based."
"Sounds good to me."
'I can't believe a second person showed up... and another mad scientist type.' Porno marked down another general.
"Told you so."
"Shut up Naruto-sama."
-Hours Later-
"Those beneath me call my Loremaster, but since you will be my boss... you may ALSO call me Loremaster! I am the best scientist you will ever meet, and angel who previously studied demons." A white woman spoke.
Not white as in European, but white as in white was her important color. Her skin was an otherworthly white, the same as her hair and the 2 horns on her head. All of it contrasted with her black suit, but no her white lab coat or the metal robot arms or her red glasses she wore in front of her face.
All three applicants wore glasses, neat.
She gave off a very demon vibe, which might be the black devil tail speaking.
"Another insane one."
"Mmmmmm... I love this demon vibe you got going on, you're fired. You're not just evil looking, you're cartoonishly evil looking. I approve of this." Naruto gave her a thumbs up.
She raised a finger.
"Actually, I'm an angel."
"I'm still cool with that, as long as you're cool with working on the side of evil, and helping me to conquer Japan." Naruto told her with a double thumbs up. He liked her insanity, it worked with what he was going for. "So, what do YOU want?"
"I want to study humans."
"Then study humans all you want, and create whatever experiments you want, so long as they serve my goals you're free to do what you want... your funding is performance based." Naruto stated as he gestured for her to go and find where her future lab was going to be. "You will be introduced to your fellow Generals tomorrow... you'll be sharing a bedroom with Porno. Each of the generals will share a room with another general." Naruto stated with a grin.
"I'm cool with that."
"I'm going to fuck you tonight when you fall asleep."
"Eh!?"
"Ignore her, she's just mad that she was wrong." Naruto puffed out his chest in pride at his dumb idea working exactly as he intended it to work.
His Evil Generals were set.
Time to conquer Japan.
Chapter End!
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Generals
Porno from the Series Dohna Dohna
Ivanka Robotnik, Genderbent Eggman
Scientist-san from the Series Zannen Jokanbu Black General-san
Loremaster from the Series Helltaker