2brown-eyes prereads

All mistakes are mine

I sit at the dinner table, the pact securely inside its manilla envelope and my notes stacked neatly on top. I wish I could've donned a fancy dress and fixed my makeup for such an important conversation, but that simply isn't to be since I only have access to casual clothes. If I'd had the forethought, I'd have asked Alice for some nicer things.

"Miss," Maria says as she delivers my plate. The aroma fills my nostrils, causing my stomach to growl. "Here is Mr. Cullen's. The cloche should keep it warm."

"Thank you, Maria." I give her an encouraging smile. "Please inform Heidi that it smells simply mouthwatering."

"Yes, ma'am." She leaves me to my dinner, and I peck at it in hopes that Edward will hurry.

He showed up a little over an hour ago, and I worked up the courage to request some time to speak with him. He advised me that he needed to run down to Jake's apartment, but that he'd be back in time to share dinner.

He's five minutes late.

Just as I have the thought, the door slams shut, and he stalks across the room. His face is neutral, but his body language screams hostile, and it's a bit disconcerting. I hope to speak with him about a delicate matter, one that finds me questioning his ideas, and I definitely don't intend to do it while he's angry.

"Give me a minute," he says as he starts up the staircase.

I don't respond because he isn't asking permission, and I don't fail to notice the red that stains his knuckles. Instead, my hand shakes as I lift my goblet of ice water. I swallow half of it down before returning the glass to the pristine, white tablecloth.

"Would you like something else to drink, Miss Bella?" Maria is there, and I wonder if she always lurks in the shadows to fill every need. She's magically around when I need her.

"No, thank you." I point to Edward's empty glass. "What does Edward usually drink with dinner?"

"It varies," she replies, "but he always appreciates a good red."

"Could you pour him a glass, please?"

"Yes, miss."

She's back in no time, and as she fills his glass, I say, "I'd like you to leave the bottle and give us some privacy."

"Yes, miss."

Just as she slips from the room, footsteps sound on the stairs, and nerves ball in the pit of my stomach. Edward struts toward the table looking fresh and rejuvenated. Gone are the bloody knuckles and brooding expression and in their place is the softer man I've come to know over the past few days.

"I apologize for being tardy." His smile doesn't quite reach his eyes as he takes his seat and spreads his napkin on his lap. "I do hope you'll forgive me."

I notice that even though the words say he's making a request, there's nothing in his tone to indicate that's true. "Of course," I reply, accustomed to dealing with perplexing men. "I'm just glad you were able to accommodate my request."

For the first time since he joined me, he gives me a long look. "You do have me curious." He takes his goblet and sips his wine, running his tongue out to lick the red droplets from his lips as he returns the glass to the table. "Did you not find the pact to be accommodating?"

"Very much so." I huff a laugh. "Almost too much."

His brows furrow. "Do tell."

"So we're jumping straight into it?"

"Had you rather eat first?"

I consider this for only a second before pushing my plate away. "I'm hungry, but I don't think I can stomach food until this is out of the way."

"Very well." He also pushes his plate back. "I have to admit, you have me on the edge of my seat."

"The pressure." I lay my hand on my chest.

He moves his chair back and stands, holding out his hand. "Let's move to a more conducive environment."

I breathe deeply before taking his hand. It's warm and soft, nothing like you'd expect from an admitted murderer. "Oh wait." I pull him to a stop as I grab my notes and the pact. "I'll need these."

He chuckles, and I'm surprised by how much I like the sound. "I'm certain you'd do fine with no crutch at all."

"Perhaps." I smile to myself. "But there's no way to be sure."

"One day," he says so softly I almost don't hear him. "Anyway"—he waves to the sofa—"this looks much more comfortable for what I expect to be an interesting conversation."

"Thank you," I say, taking a seat and watching as he does the same. He settles about two feet away and shifts to give me his full attention. "Now?"

My stomach aches from the anxiety.

"Whenever you're ready, Bella." Edward gives me a patient smile, and it's enough to settle my insides, even if only slightly.

I take in a deep gulp of air, hold it for a second longer than necessary, and release it in one long breath. "Okay." I shift so we're mostly facing each other, and then I grab my stack of handwritten notes. I pull the papers up to hide my face before saying, "Article 6." He's silent, and I don't dare lower the paper. "Are you familiar with it, or should I give you my copy of the pact?"

"Lower the paper, Bella." The command is soft, but I'm still nervous as I comply. "There we are." At the happy tone of his voice, I trail my eyes to his. "I'm familiar with Article 6, so feel free to share what bothers you about it."

"If I said everything?"

His brows climb his forehead. "Then there would need to be some revisions. Though, I thought I was rather accommodating."

My stomach settles a little more. "For you or for me?"

"Both." He seems truly perplexed by my inquisition.

"So you'd prefer us to have affairs?" Speaking it out loud makes it sound even worse.

"Preference had no place in Article 6," he replies, his hands clasped in his lap like a prim and proper negotiator. "I didn't want to presume, so I left the door open for all options."

I cross my arms over my chest. "How's that?"

"The way it's written allows for the most extreme situations," he says as if it's a no-brainer. "There's nothing requiring us to go to those extremes if we decide to be monogamous."

"As it's written, the door is wide open."

"As I said, I didn't want to presume." He holds firm, and my hackles rise. "Who knows how we'll feel in a month, a year, or ten."

"Did you just allude to future cheating?"

He sighs, impatience rolling off him in waves. "It wouldn't be cheating."

"Can I be honest here?" I barely give him time to offer a nod before I go off on a tangent. "I never expected to live a happy life, and before, that was okay. I'd accepted my lot in life. But now that I know there's a chance for something different, I don't want to find myself full of regret years from now." I stand, pacing the floor in front of the sofa, refusing to look at him. "Whatever we're calling this, the truth is that it's going to be a marriage, one where we'll be together until death. And I've always known my life would depend on me fulfilling my duties as a wife." I pace the floor, my hands wringing as I work up the courage to get to the point. "I'd like to fulfill those duties with you as well." I stop, meeting his wide-eyed gaze. "I understand you might've had different expectations, but I'd like to at least try. I never in a million years imagined that I'd have the chance to marry someone who's so …" I clamp my lips closed at the amused expression on his face.

"So …"

"No way." I cross my arms with a huff. "I've already said too much."

"On the contrary," he says, standing to tower over me. I somehow missed his woodsy scent earlier. "I think you said just enough."

"And?" I'm staring at his tie, holding my breath.

His fingers tilt up my chin, and I'm lost in deep, fathomless green. "Should we do a taste test?" His voice is low and soft, and I feel faint.

"Yes." My reply is meek, but I do voice it, and he doesn't hesitate to press his lips to mine.

In all my life, I've never been kissed because it's something I wanted. In fact, any affection has been few and far between. This kiss immediately takes the top spot simply because it's not out of obligation.

His arm slips around my waist and pulls me flush against him. His lips are soft and full, covering mine before they part, and I taste his wine-laced breath. I sigh, my own lips opening as his tongue nudges at the seam. I'm hesitant as he invades my mouth, but the way he takes what he wants is both scary and thrilling at the same time. When I finally join the fray, he grunts his pleasure, and my eyes fall closed as I get lost in the dance.

His scent seeps into my mind and imprints on my senses, this moment in time a snapshot that will forever hold a place in the photo album of my mind. I can see our entire future unfolding, and I grip him tightly, clinging to the hopeful image.

"Perfect," he murmurs as he pulls away. I'm still in a daze, my mouth unable to form words. He releases me and steps back. "If we nullify the provisions in Article 6, I will murder someone who puts their hands on what is mine. You should think long and hard about it before making your decision."

I blink out of my daze, his strong words catching me off guard. "You're willing to forgo affairs?"

"I never intended to have any affairs." His words are sure, and they confuse me.

"But you had—"

"It doesn't matter." He presses a finger to my lips. "I want you to be sure, Bella. You'll never know what it feels like to be with another man, and you're so very young."

"I am sure, Edward." I hold his stare, confident of my choice.

"And if I suck as a lover?" He's back to being amused.

"Oh no." Insecurity grips me. "What if I suck?"

"I'll teach you how to please me." He doesn't lack confidence, and I hope that extends to all matters.

I nibble on my lower lip. "Then consider Article 6 amended."

"Are you sure, Bella?" He's giving me one last chance to change my mind, but I don't think I will. A girl could do worse than sleep with Edward Cullen for the rest of her life.

"Absolutely."

So that's that.

They do negotiate other things, and there are other provisions we don't cover at this time, but if a situation arises where an article in the pact comes into play, it'll be highlighted then.

I'm on track to finish my 2nd chapter this week today, so I figured I'd give you this. That'll give me a 10 ch cushion, and I'm good with that, so now, if I finish a ch, I'll post a ch.

See ya next week :)