Kamui had come to love the library.
He had never exactly been a bookworm, but he did enjoy reading well enough, when he had had time to get around to it and the CLAMP School library was nothing if not impressive. At first, the only draw for him every day was the promise that he might find some scrap of information that would lead him to Fuuma, but over the weeks, he had found himself absorbed in all kinds of other interesting information.
Who knew that thirteen people a year died from vending machines falling on them? Or that there was actually such a thing as underwater streams?
He had initially been filing away all of the information he had come across in the vague hope that it might somehow come in handy, but more and more lately he realized how futile an idea that really was. He was starting to memorize the Dewey Decimal system, but he was pretty sure by now that there was no category devoted to missing best friends.
Then there was the ever nagging question of why he felt it was so important to find Fuuma at all. His search had seemed so obvious at first, as though there was no conceivable alternative and to him there wasn't, but the more time that passed, the more he found himself facing the question of why he was still looking. He had told Subaru, ages ago it seemed, that his wish was to bring Fuuma back no matter what the cost and so far he had relentlessly stuck to that wish. It had seemed like the right thing to do at the time because he had genuinely believed that his childhood friend had been there still somewhere and that he too would want to come back. Only now was it beginning to occur to him that maybe the reason he hadn't found Fuuma was because Fuuma truly didn't want to be found.
It was a painful thought because in the end, if it were true, it would mean that Fuuma considered their friendship severed, or at least not worth actively participating in anymore.
Kamui sighed and let his head fall forward onto the polished wood of the study table he had claimed as his territory for the afternoon.
"Do you need some more help, Shirou-kun?"
He started at the voice and looked up into the bespectacled face of the library's most accommodating student intern.
"No, thank you Hououji-san."
"You know you can call me Fuu."* She pulled out the chair across the table from him. "Is everything okay? I thought when you first started coming in here you were stressed out because of a research project but you've been coming in on a regular basis for months now and your searches seem sort of all over the place."
"I know." Kamui sighed. "I just… have a lot on my mind. Too many questions to know where to look for the answers I guess."
The girl's features mysteriously aged well beyond her years in a matter of seconds. "I can understand that." She replied heavily.
Before Kamui could remark upon the sudden change in her countenance, she stood and vanished into the shelves. Kamui began to wonder if she had just needed to get back to work or decided she didn't feel like talking to him anymore until she reappeared with beaten, weather-worn tome. She neatly rearranged the many haphazard stacks of books Kamui had gathered around himself like a miniature fort until she had space to set the new arrival neatly before him.
"What's this?"
"A book." She studiously adjusted her glasses.
"Well… yeah. But what about?"
She glanced furtively around the library to make sure no one was watching or listening before leaning in closely to whisper, "whatever you need it to be about."
Kamui gazed at the cover in bewilderment, realizing that there was no title, no author, nothing.
"Everybody who reads it, finds a different story in it, depending on what you need to find."
"What… how?" Kamui tilted the book sideways. "Is this one of the engineering department's latest projects in mood recognition or something?" He searched for a hidden battery case, flipped the book open, expecting to see a small monitor. Instead there were only frail, yellow pages.
"It's not electronic. It's really a book."
"But how does that work?"
"It's… not science. It isn't from here." Fuu replied evasively. "Just read it. It might be your best bet to find what you're looking for."
Not science. Kamui flipped through a few blank pages at random before resting on one. Only when he had left the book open to the page for a few moments did writing begin to appear, soaking up through the page like an ink spill in reverse.
Magic. He realized with a start. But there wasn't supposed to be any in this world according to Subaru… how did she come by it?
Before he could confront her about the book's mechanism, Fuu had once again disappeared and so he turned his attention back to the book where the ink had settled into more orderly words and began to read.
Once upon a time, there was a fox with fur like shining copper. In the way of foxes, he was clever and quick-footed and was more than content to live in his forest with the shrews and the sparrows and even the big black bear who rumbled through the trees like thunder. The fox spent summers chasing butterflies and winters burrowed warm in his den. Springtime was for watching the raindrops dance and autumn for playing among the leaves. All in all, the fox was happy.
Then one day a hunter came and saw the fox's pelt that shone like copper. The fox smelled the hunter and in shyness, fled. He was surprised that the hunter followed him all the way into the heart of the forest until he was able to hide beneath a fallen log.
Why, the fox thought to himself, the hunter must be stricken with love to have followed me all this way. And for a moment, as the hunter cursed his bad luck at having lost his quarry, the fox considered poking his head out of his shelter. No, he thought at last, it would be better to make him work for it a little more, to prove that he really loves me.
And so the fox began to play at the edge of the forest each day, until he had the hunter's attention, then happily raced away, letting the hunter chase him, as was his wont.
Every day the same ritual occurred, of the fox catching the hunter's eye and fleeing before the hunter could catch up to him, every day for several months and every day the hunter seemed to grow more ardent. In the springtime, the hunter chased him through the rain. In the summertime, he chased the fox past the bees and butterflies. In the autumn, he ran through beds of leaves to seek the fox's hiding places.
At last when the first chill winds of winter began to sing through the woods, the fox decided that it was time. The hunter had proven his love was true and unwavering and so the fox felt that the pursuit could at last come to an end.
So one day when the hunter followed him into the woods, the fox ran back to his den, but rather than hiding inside, he waited at the entrance, ready to welcome the hunter into his life.
When the hunter caught up to the fox, he raised his rifle and-
And the fox would not dance in the raindrops or play in the leaves or chase the butterflies or sleep warm in his den anymore.
Kamui close the book with a slam.
"Didn't care for what it had to say?"
He jumped, wondering when Fuu had slid back into the seat across from him.
"I just… didn't really like the ending."
She nodded, understandingly. "Most people don't like what it has to say. What was your story about?"
He uncomfortably recounted the tale, all the while trying not to glare at the book itself.
"Hm." Fuu ran a fingertip across the edge of the pages.
"It was just about an innocent misunderstanding; why did it have to end so badly? Why did they have to write that the fox died?"
"What was the alternative in this case? If the hunter had actually fallen in love with the fox and didn't kill him, wouldn't he have ceased to be a hunter?"
"Well yeah but he could have become something else. A farmer. A circus clown. Anything."
Fuu pulled the book to her own side of the table, thoughtfully stroking the cover. "But all we knew about him was that he was a hunter. That was his identity. Falling in love would have caused him to lose it. If a hunter doesn't hunt, who is he?"
One who hunts the majesty of the gods.
Kamui shuddered as the phrase washed over him.
"Fuu, do you believe in fate?"
She thoughtfully tapped the side of her glasses. "I used to."
"You don't anymore?"
"It's not so much that." She looked around the room to see if they were alone, but upon spotting a study group a few feet away, she gave a nearly imperceptible shrug, evidently thinking better of what she had been about to say. "It's more like I'm not sure anymore that there is a difference between there being a predestined path for us and having the ability to choose our own path. In the end, what happens will happen and we can't know one way or another how things might have been differently."
"What if you don't like the way that things have turned out? What if you make your choices and discover that you regret them?"
Again, the look of wisdom and pain well beyond her years crossed the girl's face. "You have to live with the consequences of your actions one way or another. If the situation turns out badly then the only thing you can do is work to make amends." Much to his surprise, she reached across the table then, to briefly grab his hand. "But Kamui?" He tensed at the use of his given name. "Don't blame yourself for everything. Sometimes even the choices that seem to be all our own were inevitable given the circumstances. You have to remember that you did what you thought was best at the time." She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. "Does that make sense?"
"Yeah." He squeezed her hand back. "Thanks."
.
.
The only reason that Arashi had agreed to this was because Yuzuriha was coming along as well. Or so she kept telling herself. She certainly wasn't going out for ice cream with Sorata as a date. She didn't even like ice cream, which was probably a good thing since halfway through their walk, the whole scoop had slid most gracelessly off of her waffle cone and onto the sidewalk where Inuki had promptly licked it up.
Sorata had enthusiastically offered her the rest of his own cone but, with a glance at the sticky mess that was his strawberry/banana swirl dripping down his hand, she coolly declined, hoping that her calm reply would belie her utter embarrassment at having dropped hers in the first place.
"Sora-chan, I think more of your ice cream is getting on your hand than in your mouth now." Yuzuriha pointed out.
"It's this crazy global warming! Making it too hot to eat cold treats!" Sorata replied before bounding away to dispose of the cone's paper wrapper and hold his hand beneath the thin stream of a park water fountain.
Arashi watched him momentarily before realizing that Yuzuriha was pensively regarding her over peanut parfait.
"What?" She raised a hand to her cheek, self-consciously wondering if there was ice cream smudged on her face. She didn't need any more humiliation after dropping it.
"You really like him don't you?"
Oh no. This was much worse.
She felt the color rise to her cheeks even as she stammered a denial, realizing how terribly unconvincing she must sound.
Yuzuriha gave her a knowing smile. "You're at the advantage, you know. You already know that he really likes you."
When had kids this age gotten so bold?
"He's mentioned that." She mumbled at the ground.
"He talks about it all the time. He thinks you're really beautiful." The girl chirped in continuation.
"Isn't that kind of shallow?" Arashi found her mouth moving before she had a chance to reconsider the words.
Yuzuriha's eyes widened. "I think you misunderstand. It's not that he just thinks you're pretty to look at it." She waved a hand flippantly. "I mean you are, and he does think that too, but that's not what he means. When he says that you're beautiful, he means all of you, outside and inside."
Arashi stared at the girl, unable to process the explanation and nearly stumbled backward into the street when Sorata suddenly reappeared beside them, more or less cleaned up.
"Shall we continue our walk?" He asked, clearly oblivious to the conversation that had just been in progress.
"Yes!" Yuzuriha answered, saving Arashi the trouble of choking out any kind of sensible response. "There is a store around the corner that sells pet supplies and I saw a really cute water and food bowl set in there the other day that we should get for Inuki!"
"But we already have a food and water bowl for him."
"Yeah but not a matching sparkly food and water bowl."
They had barely taken two steps when Sorata's laugh was cut short and the strangest shift took place. It was as though all of the color suddenly drained from the world, taking with it the normal sounds of the city. Arashi froze in place as a lamppost that had been standing only moments before mysteriously vanished and reappeared in twisted pieces on the ground before them. The cars and the people were simply there one moment and gone the next, and in their place angry scars ran across the street and sidewalk where the earth had split open, exposing the dirt and rock beneath the broken concrete and what space wasn't uprooted was covered in shatter glass and fallen signs from abandoned buildings.
The worst part of all though was the silence. No one was honking, no one was talking, no music drifted from the doors of nearby shops. Nothing.
A wave of cold nausea washed over Arashi.
"What… what is this?" Yuzuriha at last spoke, her voice uncharacteristically shaky. "Did we… just wander onto a movie set?"
Arashi turned around, half expecting to see the park they had just left, still sunny and bright behind them, but instead she was met with the sight of fallen and dead trees, mangled and broken by debris. Another icy wave broke over her.
"Where is Sorata?"
"He was just right here." Yuzuriha blanched. "This is another dream isn't it? Please tell me it's just another dream."
"Another…?" Arashi shook her head and took the younger girl's arm, surprised to find that she was trembling. Even Inuki seemed shaken as he pressed against Yuzuriha's ankle with his tail tucked firmly beneath his legs. "Let's see if we can find someone and figure out what's going on."
Yuzuriha nodded faintly then her eyes sharpened once more with their familiar determination. "Right. We just have to keep moving."
Arashi wished she could be so confident.
It seemed to take ages before they came across a building that, although it had partially collapsed, strangely still appeared to have power considering that the lights in the lobby were still on, shining down into the muted streets with as warm a glow as could be expected from fluorescent bulbs. As far as the two girls were concerned, it may as well have been a lighthouse after years lost at sea.
Their disappointment was swift however as they quickly discovered that there was no one in said lobby or on any of the still accessible floors that they could find. It was not until they were about to leave that Arashi spotted the door to the basement and pointed it out.
"There are never good things in basements." Yuzuriha stared suspiciously at the door. "Don't you watch any horror movies?"
"As a matter of fact I don't." Arashi strode toward it as purposefully as she could bring herself to manage, angrily repressing the sudden mental images of ax murderers and many-legged monsters the comment had conjured.
The door creaked open slowly, revealing unwelcoming concrete steps leading deep into shadows.
Inuki gave a high-pitched keen.
"Yeah." Yuzuriha agreed with the dog. "You said it." She tugged at Arashi's sleeve. "There can't be anyone down there."
"But maybe there is." Arashi squinted as she took a step down. "There's a doorway down there and I think I see a light coming from underneath it."
Yuzuriha shifted nervously before stepping down with her. "Well, what choice do we have but to check it out I guess? But I have a bad feeling about this place."
So do I. Arashi silently acknowledged, but the girl was right. What else were they going to do? They took a deep breath and pushed open the door together.
It opened readily to reveal a room gently lit by flickering candles. It was just enough light to see the girl kneeling in the middle of the floor, her long pale hair spilling all around her. Familiar hair that belonged to…
"Hinoto!" They both cried in relief.
The girl's eyes snapped open in surprise. "Kishuu-san, Nekoi-san. How… why are you here?"
"We don't know! One minute we were just walking along, minding our own business and enjoying some tasty ice cream, and the next we were here in this weird place!" Yuzuriha gasped and leaned forward. "Is that how you got here too? I bet it's the ice cream! Maybe the guy put a weird hex on us!"
Hinoto stared at her in incomprehension.
Arashi placed a hand on the younger girl's shoulder to quiet her before she could further confuse their only hope at help. "Have you seen Sorata by chance?"
"I- I have not seen Arisugawa-kun since before his death."
Arashi's blood ran cold. "His what?"
"You… came from another place?"
"Yeah we did- what do you mean about Sora-chan?" Yuzuriha's voice was stretched too thin like it would snap, breaking her as well.
"You have to go back." Hinoto cried in alarm. "Don't let Kamui falter."
"What happened to Sorata?" Arashi nearly shrieked.
"Don't let him…"
Hinoto melted away before she could finish speaking, along with the candles and the meditation circle, leaving Arashi and Yuzuriha alone in a basement full of mops and Windex and fluorescent light.
Arashi sank to her knees, clutching her arms around her as though she would shatter. Before she could truly break down, they were both startled by the sound of Yuzuriha's cell phone, the upbeat J-pop of her ringtone echoing discordantly off the steel supply shelves.
"H-hello?" She choked.
"Yuzu-chan! Where are you?!"
Arashi's head snapped up as Sorata's voice came crashing through the speaker.
"Sora-chan… you're okay."
"Of course I'm okay! What gives? First we're walking along, having a great time, then there's that weird flash of darkness or whatever the heck that was, and then you run off with my lady?!"
Tears of relief slipped silently down Arashi's cheeks as she dragged herself to her feet.
"We just- saw a dress we liked and just had to try on."
"Ohh I see. Already picking out Onee-san's clothes for a more romantic one-on-one style date, huh? You're the best little sister."
Arashi wondered where Yuzuriha had learned to fake a giggle so realistically. It certainly couldn't be real considering the still slightly wild look lingering in her over bright eyes.
"I think we're going to be a while, so why don't we meet you at home in a little bit okay?"
"Alrighty!" There was a pause on the other end of the line and Sorata's voice lowered. "Are you okay, Yuzu-chan?"
"Yeah! Why do you ask?"
"I dunno… you just sounded kind of strange there for a minute."
"Oh that's because I'm trying to change while I'm talking. I really should get off the phone."
"Ah. Well okay then. Pick out something sexy for Onee-chan!"
"Will do!"
Yuzuriha hung up the phone with a weary sigh and they quickly discovered that they were locked in the basement. Fortunately it didn't take long for a janitor to hear their knocking and calling at the door and after a stern warning about playing around in places they shouldn't be, he showed them out the door of what they realized had been the Diet building all along.
Much to their relief, the streets outside were teeming with life and color once more and the cracks on the sidewalk were the ordinary kind.
Arashi stepped over one carefully nonetheless, afraid of it opening beneath her feet and swallowing her whole.
.
.
A/N: Regarding Fuu. For those of you who don't recognize her, she is one of the main characters of Magic Knight Rayearth and in case you have not read the story, (SPOILER ALERT) it is told in two parts and more or less goes as follows: In part 1, Fuu and two other girls from ordinary every day Japan find themselves in a magical world where they are told that they are magic knights who are meant to save this particular country from destruction. They go into it like any teenage girls faced with a very stereotypical rpg kind of setting would, with great excitement and self-importance. It is then revealed at the end that this princess is essentially the pillar of the world and because she has fallen in love with a person instead of devoting her entire heart to love of the country, she is to blame for it falling apart and the knights must kill her. Come Part 2, they must deal with the consequences of the princess' death and confront their own feelings on the task that they ultimately had to carry out.
The book that Fuu has in this chapter isn't something from the series, it's from a dream I had but I decided that it might be something she brought back with her (as the characters do return to every day Japan) and I figured her experiences in dealing with that entire situation would lend her a wiser air, and make her a little better at sympathizing with some of what Kamui is going through, despite not having any clue as to the specifics.