John danced with his new wife; his heart filled with unexplainable joy. He was going to have a baby! It seemed that the day was getting better and better. First his wedding, then a prevention of a death of a friend, now this!

He smiled at Mary, but she looked distant, almost if she has just realised something terrible. John's smile slowly fell. He stopped moving, holding his wife's arm gently.

Mary, what is the matter?" John asked.

She just waved him off. "I am just feeling a bit overwhelmed with all of this information at the moment." She managed a small smile. "Do you mind if I just sit down?"

Of course…" He began to lead his wife to the row of seats that lined the wall but she stopped him.

I mean, can I sit by myself for a while? Why don't you go and talk to Sherlock."

John was surprised at the request, but he nodded in understanding. He kissed her on her cheek before he turned to scan the room for his best friend. Sherlock was nowhere to be found, only an envelope with the sheet music for the wedding dance. John looked at it before pocketing it in his jacket.

He made his way through the crowd, asking anyone and everyone where Sherlock could be. They all said that they didn't know. He walked up to Molly, who was dancing with Mrs Hudson.

Molly!" John called over the music, which changed to Lionel Richie's All Night Long. She grinned at him. "Do you know where Sherlock is?"

She nodded. "I saw him walk out about five minutes ago." She pointed at the entrance.

Thanks."

Why would Sherlock leave? John thought as he exited the room, suddenly hit by the chilly air. I suppose it is Sherlock. He wouldn't stay if he didn't see any use for him in staying.

Sherlock!" He called out. He pulled his coat tighter around him and folded his arms across his chest. The biting breeze nipped at the base of his neck. He started to see logic to why Sherlock flips his collar. A small grin pulled at his lips. He thought back to that day when he and Sherlock were on that case in Dartmoor. He remembered that weird statement that he let slip from his lips on how "mysterious" Sherlock's cheekbones were and how "cool" flipping the collar of the iconic coat made him look. John wanted to slap himself for saying that. It was the first time he consciously let his feelings towards his friend slip out of his mouth.

John shook his head, trying to get those thoughts out of his head. That was just a phase. Sherlock was just his best friend and now John was a married man. Anyway Sherlock was married to his work, and if he was in love with anyone, it would have been that Addler woman…

There were voices ahead: one was distinctly Sherlock's and the other one

Is that…Mycroft? John was confused. Why would Mycroft be here? He does many things but talking to Sherlock unnecessarily is not one of them.

John crouched behind a wall, peeking behind it ever so slightly.

You are thinking of John?" John's curiosity was sparked at the mention of his name. "Don't try to deny it brother, I know. You have a certain smile when you think of him."

John gasped. Is Mycroft saying what I think he is saying?! He shook his head in disbelief.

As Sherlock pushed past his brother, Mycroft grabbed his arm and pulled him in for a hug. Sherlock caved in and started to cry.

John was at that point certain that someone spiked his drink. There was no way Mycroft would hug his brother not under any circumstances unless it was very serious…

Then it hit John. It hit him like a train that was traveling a thousand miles per hour. Mycroft knew that the wedding would cause Sherlock pain, because Sherlock witnessed his best friend get married to another. Mycroft must have figured out that after the first dance, Sherlock would have felt alone and leave. Mycroft may be a cold–hearted bastard most of the time, but he always had a soft spot for Sherlock and his relationship with John. He was always the one making references about John's closeness with him. Mycroft felt bad about the turn of events.

John caught Mycroft's eye. Mycroft turned visibly pink and pushed away from Sherlock's hold.

What we just did never happened." He glanced back at John one last time as if to say 'you know what to do' and turned swiftly on his heel and walked towards a black cab.

Sherlock just stood there, frozen. He was still trembling from the crying.

John got up from the pavement and quietly neared Sherlock. He had to hear the words from Sherlock's own lips.

John took a deep breath and touched his friend on the shoulder.

Sherlock, is it true?"

XXX

Sherlock froze.

"Shouldn't you be at your wedding?" He said calmly even though he could feel his pulse racing, and his body shaking. "I'm sure everyone is missing you." He choked out the last words.

John pulled his friend around to face him. Sherlock's face was a complete mess. His eyes were bloodshot and cheeks wet from the tears. He looked like he was taking again. He instinctively reached to check his arm, but stopped himself.

"Sherlock, you are not answering my question." John said with a bit more force.

"Now is not the time…" Sherlock said with an equal amount of force, pulling his shoulder away from John's hand.

No, no no, you were never supposed to know! This was my burden to bear! Sherlock screamed in his head. Now he couldn't face his friend, and their friendship was never to be the same again. The best for the both of them was for them to part ways.

Sherlock felt his heart hurt at the thought of leaving John for good. He promised that he would take care of his friend and his wife and the only way for doing this was to leave. He couldn't ruin John's marriage, especially when there is a baby on the way.

"Yes now!" John blocked Sherlock with his body. He stared his friend in the eye. "Is it true that you are in love with me or not!"

Sherlock held John's stare, only a few inches apart, knowing that he would not back down until he had an answer. The worst part is the John knew what said answer was, but he wanted to hear it out loud.

They were so close together that it took everything in Sherlock to not give into his urges and kiss John.

"Well, is it?" John persisted.

Sherlock broke eye contact before replying in a soft voice

"Yes, it is true."

John pulled away from the detective. He never admitted it, but down deep in his soul, that was the answer that he wanted to hear. He wanted to know that all those little hints that he got from Sherlock were not a figment of his imagination and the best of all was that Sherlock wasn't in love with Irene Addler.

"For how long."

"Ever since I met you…"

"God Sherlock!" John rubbed his forehead.

"…but I only fully realised it that day in Dartmoor."

John gave a smile, but not one that had humour in it. It was the smile that he put on when he was angry. He was furious with himself for not taking the opportunity when he could. He was so furious at Sherlock for not making a move. He was furious that after all of this time he was living with the man that he could have called his husband. Suddenly the thought of becoming a father was not so appealing.

"Seriously," He spat out, and jabbed a finger in his chest "you have known me for years and you couldn't once, not even once," his voice became more frantic, "tell me this!"

Sherlock looked like he was a puppy that had been kicked. He was ashamed. He was about to open his mouth to explain, but John cut him off before he could even start.

"And don't give me any bollocks that you didn't know, because I know you. You probably deduced my sexuality when we first met. You probably knew my feelings before I even knew AND YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!"

Sherlock kept quiet. Little did John know that Sherlock had to build up courage to ask him out. Sherlock had gone out with people before, but usually that was because he wanted something from them. With John, the only thing he wanted from him is his love. As cheesy as it sounds, it was true. And the thought of a long term relationship scared him. He knew if John and he ever broke up, their relationship would never be the same again.

Sherlock cleared his throat, refusing for tears to flow again. "John, I may have never said it, but I have shown it. I didn't go through two years of Hell disabling Moriarty's network for nothing."

This seemed to hit a nerve in John, because he knew it was true. Sherlock had to fake his death, a last resort, to protect John. He would rather have been on the floor surrounded by fake blood, than John surrounded by real blood.

Sherlock continued closing the gap between the two. "I was beaten and tortured. I was so close to giving up at one point, but I didn't. Do you know why." John was still, tears silently flowing down his cheeks. "I kept going because I knew that you were the light at the end of the tunnel. I did it because I thought that you would welcome me with open arms at the end. At that point I swore that I would never let you go again." Tears caught in his throat. "When I came back, I was so excited to see my friend, yet instead I saw a man in a ridiculous moustache," John let a small smile tug on his lips, "and with another. You were so angry at me and so happy with her, that I knew that whatever you felt for me was gone. I missed my chance."

John stared at Sherlock, his heart dropping in his stomach. He was so angry at Sherlock's death that he needed someone else to fill the hole that his friend left. When he met Mary, he was sure that she was the one. With no Sherlock interfering with his love life, the relationship reached the point that he was confident that he made the right decision.

Apparently not.

"I-I had I had no idea…" John met Sherlock's gaze. "Could you ever forgive me?" John, without thinking, cupped the detective's cheek, while the other hand slipped around his waist.

"Don't you think it is too late for that?" Sherlock breathed. He was so close to breaking

"No."

With that John leaned forward and touched his lips gently with Sherlock's. John, being considerably shorter, maneuvered his arms so it linked around Sherlock's neck. Sherlock moved his arms around John, pulling the doctor towards him.

The kiss became more intense. The world around them was nothing. It seemed that it was only the both of them, and this unbreakable bond they shared.

That was until a voice pulled them out of it. It was Mary calling for her new husband.

They both froze in their lip-lock. John, coming back to reality, realised what he did and he was mortified.

Sherlock saw it in his eyes, and his heart sank.

"John…" Sherlock said as John pushed away.

"I am sorry Sherlock… I made a vow. I cannot break it off now, especially if there's a baby on the way."

"Please…" Sherlock pleaded, even though he knew that it was futile.

"I am so sorry Sherlock." And John meant it. There was nothing more than he wanted at that moment than to elope with his lover, but he made a promise and being a soldier, he is not in a habit of breaking them.

"John, where are you?" Mary's voice neared them.

They looked each other in the eye a last time before John slipped away from Sherlock and moved to his wife. He feint a grin when he faced her. He looked back for one last time to see that Sherlock was already gone.

Howzit Bokkies

Eish that was a lot longer than I had planned.

As there is so many nice people saying nice things about the first chapter, I will be continuing the story.

Stay tuned and comment

Love thecapefangirl