A curve of skin so full and lush, he couldn't tell if it as her breast or her bottom lip. He remembered her breath, could still feel it hot on his shoulder. Oddly, it was the little things that he focused on, the things that made his pulse thunder through his veins.
The soft parts of her that were still firm. Her fingers in his hair as he pressed his lips to her neck. The warmth of her brown skin, darker from her travels. It was her hair, her breathy gasps, her sparkling eyes that pulled him with such desire.
When he woke up next to her, he thought he was still dreaming. He relit the sconces and stared at Katara's sleeping form. Perhaps due to his own ruined visage, he was drawn to the smooth perfection of her face. He didn't dare touch her, not wanting to wake either her or him if this was a dream.
Her hair held the hint of a curl and the wave of auburn pooled on her shoulders and spilled over her back in thin rivers. His hair - the Fire Nation hair - was uniform. There were very few people not of the colonies who didn't have stick-straight black hair. Like ink sticks. Katara's hair was thick and full. He had been able to smell the scent of her soap still clinging there among the strands. And her skin was as dark as his as pale.
They were polar opposites. And yet.
He remembered well her temper. He remembered her telling him how she had trapped Azula, by using her breath to melt ice. That was a firebender skill. She burned with a fire that burned in the center of himself.
Yin and yang. He had heard it time and time again from Uncle. Iroh had known he wasn't happy with Mai, had had his own reasons for dislike of the ice cold Fire Nation lady. All of the axioms that Iroh started to spout, usually in earshot of Mai, was how a person could only find happiness with someone whose difference still held the kernel of sameness.
When Zuko got Katara's note, he wondered. When he saw her again, he knew.
Her hair - blazes he would forever be in love with her hair - was tussled by the wind from the travel, and she looked tired. He had to fight the urge to grab her, to pour out everything to her so he could be empty for her.
Now, in her bed, he could feel the sun calling to him. He felt dried out, a husk of a person. Still, he burned, and he had to resist touching Katara. He wanted to make her gasp the same way she had last night.
Instead, he laid a light kiss on her cheek and slid out of bed. As he pushed his way past the curtain, he heard her roll over and her breathing changed.
He would, probably, not tell her about the snoring.
After he composed himself, Zuko turned and knocked on the next door. Surprisingly, the door opened. Unsurprisingly, Sokka looked like twice regurgitated refuse.
"You look rough buddy." Sokka lazily blinked his eyes into a glare.
"I hate you."
"What if I told you I have an instant hangover cure?" The glare narrowed.
"Give it to me."
After Sokka finished heaving into the bushes and walked back over, Zuko handed him a glass of water with lemon and ginger.
"That was foul." Sokka said before sipping the liquid.
"I did warn you."
"There is no way you could have properly warned me for that."
"What's important is now you need to hydrate." Sokka pointedly stared at him as he downed the rest of the glass in one go. Zuko laughed but took it to hand it over to a waiting servant.
"So why did you get me at the crack of dawn?"
"Figured you wouldn't have slept well."
"Yeah okay."
"I'm sorry about Suki."
"I do not even want to discuss it anymore."
"Works for me. Come do tai chi with me."
After exercising and more glasses of water, the pair walked into a study to have breakfast. There was an egg and rice dish that had a sauce made from tomatoes and spices. Simple, but was something that they could sit and talk over.
"What's it actually going to take?" Sokka asked as he reclined in the chair opposite of where Zuko stood.
"To move her? Not much. Just a handful of guards to make sure that no one tries anything en route." Zuko, in turn, sat down on the table behind him and picked up the plate with his breakfast.
"So you pick her up and then drop her off, where?"
"Capital City Prison. It's on the other side of the city from her hospital."
"Are you sure this is a good idea?"
"It's the best one I've been able to think of in, admittedly, a handful of hours."
"I meant moving her with Ozai period." Zuko went silent and covered it by taking a bite of his food.
"I want to know what happened to my mother." He finally said, as softly as he now set down his plate.
"Look, I get the mother stuff. Between Katara and I, you aren't going to find anyone as understanding. I'm just worried that you're moving things too quickly."
You should see what I'm doing with your sister. Zuko coughed and mentally stamped down the quip.
"I appreciate your point, trust me, I do. I just worry that the longer I wait, the longer my enemies have to plot."
"Man, you are seriously paranoid." Coming from anyone else, Zuko would have been offended. Sokka he understood, and instead he just felt mildly annoyed, and not at his friend.
"If only it hadn't been hard-won paranoia."
"How many times have you almost died?"
"Promise not to tell Katara?" Sokka laughed and Zuko bit the tip of his tongue.
"She worries too much. Though she seems more relaxed now that she and Aang split." Zuko startled to attention and his heart leapt into his throat.
"What?"
"She didn't tell you? She and Aang are on the outs." Sokka shoveled a heaping spoonful of food into his mouth. "They had some kind of fight."
"I believe it was about her going home."
"And babies, probably." Sokka swallowed and leaned forward. "I know we're all friends, but I really didn't like her being with Aang." Zuko raised his eyebrow.
"Why's that?"
"He was, I don't know, like banking her. Subduing everything that makes my sister so, crazy. But good. Seeing her here, she looks better. I think it's been good for her." Sokka said and continued eating.
A gasp burst into Zuko's mind and he moved quickly to sit behind the desk.
"Having her here has been good for me too. You too, of course."
"Aww, has the Fire Lord been lonely?" Zuko chuckled and pulled his plate over.
"A little. Uncle doesn't stay in residence much since he started carrying on like a fool with Yong. I don't have very many friends in the Fire Nation."
"I mean, I gathered as much with the whole assassination attempt thing." Zuko rolled his eyes.
"Are you going back to the South Pole with Katara?" He asked and now Sokka looked exasperated.
"No, I think I'm going to-" Sokka paused as the door opened and Rin stepped into the room.
"Fire Lord." Rin held her writing board to her chest as she bowed lightly.
"Hello Cousin." Zuko said as he stood. Still bent over, Rin flinched and straightened slowly.
"I have brought Lady Suki as requested." She said. Zuko saw from the corner of his eye as Sokka shoved more food into his mouth.
"Let her in please Rin." Rin stood to the side and gestured with her arm. In walked Suki, looking tired and sullen.
"Good morning Suki. Have you eaten?"
"Of course." Suki said and moved to sit on a small couch. Rin walked over to a squat end table and set down her board.
"Did you need anything else Fire Lord?"
"Would you mind sending in someone for the dishes? And if it's not too troubling, find Katara and escort her here." Rin pulled her lips into a thin line in annoyance.
"You couldn't have asked me this earlier when I was going to that wing?" She snapped, flicking her wrist to indicate Suki.
"It just slipped my mind. My apologies Cousin." Zuko said with a smile. Rin looked like she was trying to set Zuko on fire with her mind, and it was a look Sokka must have noticed as the other man snorted.
"I'll be right back." She said, her tone clipped, and she turned on her heel to walk out of the room.
"That woman is going to poison you." Sokka said and stretched forward to scoot his plate onto the desk.
"What did you need me here for Zuko?" Suki spoke up and Zuko turned to look at her once more.
"I want to move Azula today." Suki frowned.
"Today?" She repeated. "Doesn't that seem a little hasty?"
"That does seem to be the going opinion." Zuko said and shot a glance at Sokka.
"Let's see what Katara says." Sokka said and Zuko sighed. He didn't want to think about what Katara would say. Mostly because as soon as he started to think about her at all, he found himself very distracted.
When she walked into the room, Zuko went into high alert. The last person he wanted to have aware of his intentions of Katara was her brother, so Zuko kept a firm hold on his composure. His pulse began to race as he watched her move and talking, let alone to her, seemed hardly natural.
When he finally had to leave the room, he had to resist "accidentally" brushing up against her.
He felt like he could breathe when he stepped out into the hall.
Zuko gathered a few guards while Suki went to collect Ty Lee. A headache was starting to form behind his eyes and he could feel anxiety begin to climb its way up from his stomach. All he wanted to do was crawl back into that warm space next to Katara, listening to her breathe.
When the two women approached him, Zuko was glad to note that while Ty Lee looked pale, she did not give any other sign of feeling anxious. Ty Lee - and Mai for that matter - was not cowardly, but both of them had done things out of necessity while still in their comfort zones. They had not been tested or put under the kind of pressure that Team Avatar had.
To give her credit, Ty Lee had faced Azula once before. But that had come as a surprise and occurred in a fleeting moment. This was something more formal, more planned, and much more traitorous.
"Good morning Fire Lord." Ty Lee bowed in greeting and Zuko bobbed his head.
"I hope you found your accommodations to your liking."
"They were more than enough, thank you."
"Well, let's not linger then." Suki said and ran a hand through her hair.
"There's a carriage waiting for us. It's the fastest way to get there." Zuko added, cutting off Suki's coming argument. Instead, the pair followed behind him wordlessly.
The ride to the hospital was, thankfully, peaceful. They discussed the small details of the move, and Ty Lee had questions about how they were actually going to be getting Azula into her was locked up in the cell that had previously held Iroh, which was just a metal cage in a small stone room. Zuko admitted that there were larger, more comfortable rooms within the prison, where political prisoners with money had been kept. This had been originally used as incentive for Ozai to talk about Ursa, but the former Fire Lord had yet to take it.
When they arrived, Suki and Ty Lee disembarked before Zuko stepped down. He had, oddly, been torn when deciding how to dress. He didn't know if he should arrive as the Fire Lord, to remind her what he was, or if he should come to her as family.
Absently, Zuko touched the lower part of his scar.
He had dressed casually, favoring the robed top done in crimson with gold fabric on the edges. Black sash and black pants, with the small crownlet stuck in his loosely pulled back hair. He would never be the Fire Lord that his sister would have been, or that their father had been. But he still was, when they were locked away.
As the trio walked, the handful of guards fanned out behind them. The building, like many within the capital, sprawled. It was painted a blinding white that was somehow always clean, no matter when Zuko had chosen to visit.
They entered through the front, which held a rather large set of doors. Inside, the floor was done in planks of light, creamy wood. It looked soft. The walls, and pretty much everything else, was done in a muted, creamy green. The doctors and head nurses, as Zuko had come to learn, wore cotton uniforms that were a crisp white. The other staff wore the same uniforms, but in a green similar to the walls.
Zuko had been told that the color limited agitation among the patients and calm patients were usually preferred.
The entire building was also ten degrees colder than the outside. There was an impressive pumping system in the walls and under the floors that moved water from the underground, sipping away at the ambient heat.
With firebenders, this was also done as a way to keep them calm.
It reminded Zuko of The Cooler, and he always became immediately uncomfortable.
In the middle of the large foyer was the desk that was labelled "MAIN RECEIVING" and effectively blocked the way into the rest of the campus. The nurse stationed there, an elderly man wearing green, looked up as they approached. If he was shocked to see either the Fire Lord or a small group of armed guards, he did not show it.
"Have you come to visit your sister, Fire Lord?" The man asked when Zuko walked up to the desk.
"No. I've come to have her released." He said. Again, the man did not give any outward appearance of surprise.
"I will get her doctor." The man said and pressed a small switch on a board of switches on the desk. He then went back to the papers that were being moved from one file to another. Standing there, waiting, Ty Lee finally said the thing that plagued Zuko since the beginning.
"It's so quiet." She whispered sharply to Suki. Zuko, keeping his back to them, smirked. It was a puzzle that Zuko had never been able to figure out. Surely there were people who succumbed to fits, or had episodes like his sister. He had always wondered that just like the bright exterior of the building, no matter the time he came, everything was always in order.
He had asked Azula about it. Had asked her directly if she was being harmed or drugged. While she usually just mocked him, she nevertheless seemed self-aware and without a sign of harm. Zuko then hoped that for once, his paranoia was unfounded and that the Matsu Institute was actually just good at what it did.
"The Institute was built only fifty years ago, for Matsu Ino's daughter who had some sort of affliction. She apparently believed that the Kemurikage was coming for her and would harm herself. Ino created the Institute to protect and care for his daughter while also looking for treatments. They apparently are highly recommended for their treatment of the deranged." Zuko said and turned to face the two women.
"What are the Kemurikage?" Suki asked. Ty Lee blanched and shivered.
"They're spirits who take troubled children." She replied and shivered again. The Kemurikage were a typical story with which to frighten small children.
"Fire Lord." Zuko turned and saw Dr. Zulani walk up to the other side of the desk. Dr. Zulani was Azula's main doctor and he had had many meetings with the woman. She was older, around Iroh's age, and had studied in a hospital in Ba Sing Se. She was, allegedly, the best.
"Hello Dr. Zulani." The doctor pushed through a nearly invisible hinged door at the side of the desk and shook hands with Zuko. He had liked her for how quickly she was able to drop much of the formalities.
"What can I help you with today Fire Lord?" Dr. Zulani asked and only glanced at the retinue that he had brought with him.
"I need to move Azula, like we discussed." Dr. Zulani's eyes narrowed and her lips pulled into a thin line.
"You do realize that if you weren't the Fire Lord I would have every legal right to ignore your request and keep your sister here."
"I understand how you feel Dr. Zulani." Zuko started but the doctor cut him off.
"This isn't about how I feel Fire Lord, it is about gross medical negligence. Your sister is nowhere near mentally ready to be near your father. While he has been very straightforward with his abuse of you, your sister has been undergoing severe psychological torture from your father since toddlerhood." Dr. Zulani said sternly and Zuko almost flinched.
He had always thought that Azula had been the favored one. But even his mother had taken him one day and told him, "Even your father's favor burns."
"It's only temporary."
"It could, no, it will undo the years of progress your sister has made."
"It's going to be done doctor."
"This is incredibly selfish." Zuko was stunned enough to pause. "You are attempting to buy your mother at the sake of your sister and I will tell you right now," Dr. Zulani leaned in close to Zuko. "No mother would want that."
"Dr. Zulani, I have trusted you this entire time, but I need you to trust me." Again, Zuko was cut off.
"You are still a child. You expect me to trust you when you are barely able to stand on your own right now?" Zuko bristled.
"I am still the Fire Lord Dr. Zulani." Zuko said, his tone low. Dr. Zulani threw her hands up in exasperation.
"Then have it be on your head Fire Lord. Your sister's fate is entirely your doing from this point on." Dr. Zulani turned on her heel and slammed the hinged door open. She marched down the hall and they could all hear her heavy steps for longer than they expected.
The nurse still did not look surprised.
They were silent for a moment till Ty Lee spoke up.
"Man, that lady is pretty smart." Zuko rubbed his face with both hands; his headache now blossoming in full force.
"It's why I put her in charge of Azula." Zuko groaned and pulled down on his cheeks. He let go and sighed. "And she's completely right."
"Is it worth it then?" Suki asked.
Zuko remembered the fleeting moments from his childhood. He remembered his mother, mostly, but he held one coherent moment of his first time really seeing his sister. He was two years older than her and it wasn't until about six that he could remember her.
She had always been mean. She was born mean. But at four, she was still just a pudgy toddler who shot fireballs with unnervingly good accuracy. Many of these fireballs would be directed at small animals, with Zuko himself being a close second.
Still, he remembered their mother loving them both. Azula wasn't around Ursa much - now Zuko understood that Ozai had kept the two separated - but Ursa used to insist that they collect extra flowers or draw an extra picture for Azula.
"I think finding out what happened to our mother might change how Azula feels about our father." Zuko could taste the dust as he spoke.
"Okay then." Suki said and Ty Lee shuddered again.
They waited for a long while, but soon Dr. Zulani was back. Azula walked softly beside her, and she was remarkably dressed in a clean tunic over black pants. She looked clean, and only marginally thinner. Her hair was neatly clipped short and pinned back.
"Fire Lord." Dr. Zulani kept her voice light. Azula kept her gaze down as Dr. Zulani went through the door and held it open for her.
"Azula, do you know where we're going?" Zuko asked. Azula looked up and her eyes were still sharp. Zuko sighed and wondered what those years of progress actually meant.
"You're going to throw me into a dark cell just like Father." Azula hissed and Zuko resisted rubbing his eyes again. Couldn't give her a sign of weakness to latch onto.
"If you want to go with that, sure." Dr. Zulani shot him a look and put her hands on Azula's shoulders.
"Just remember what we talked about Azula. You need to work on maintaining your space." She said and then released Azula. She then turned to Zuko. "Treat her well Fire Lord." Zuko nodded and then began to walk back toward the entrance.
"Hello Azula." Ty Lee said. Zuko didn't turn around to watch the interaction.
"Shut up traitor." He already knew what it looked like.
Azula was oddly quiet on the ride back. She sat on one bench of the carriage while Zuko and Suki sat on the other. Ty Lee stood awkwardly in the doorway glancing nervously from one side to the other. Suki looked disinterested, and Zuko stared at Azula. He tried to see something, anything, that would give away what she and Ozai had already plotted out. But she just looked the same; angry and slightly crazed.
The ride through the city was once again peaceful and they arrived at the prison with no issue. The guards came out and escorted the small group into the prison, following them as they wound around through the inside of the sprawling, cavernous prison.
Two cells that sat side by side and shared a sort of drawing "room" had already been prepared. Thick carpets had been laid to ward off the chill and guards holding torches illuminated what the sunlight, coming in through multiple high windows, could not.
Ozai had already been moved, per Zuko's instruction that morning. However, he made no move to greet either his son or daughter. Instead, he sat in a chair, reading.
"Hello Father." Zuko said as the guards unlocked the main cell. The shared space was where Ozai and Azula could take meals, if they wished, but they were still relegated to their individual spaces for most of the time. Ty Lee escorted Azula back into her private cell.
"Azula will be staying here for a little. I'm sure you have much to discuss." Zuko said as Ty Lee closed the cell door and began walking back. Ozai turned a page in his book.
"You should have killed us Zuko." Ozai said, not looking up. Azula burst into hysterical laughter and Ty Lee moved faster out of the shared cell.
"Zuzu couldn't do it. Zuzu is soft." Azula barked and howled with greater laughter. Zuko shook his head, turned, and walked out of the room.
His head was absolutely pounding and Azula's laughter echoed off all the stone.