As the sun set, the people in the camp settled in. Azula had turned her back to the rest of them, facing a tree trunk. Katara couldn't tell if she was awake, but she could hear the others slowly drift off as their talking subsided. Katara and Zuko stayed quiet, both unknowingly waiting for the others to fall asleep.
While she was focused on the others, Katara was still overwhelmed by the noise of the forest around her. Cicadas screamed and other animals with shrill voices called out among the trees. The wood in the fire popped loudly and the thicker branches above them groaned as they swayed in the breeze.
And here, she tried to feel the slowing breaths of the people around her.
"Can you tell if they're asleep?" Zuko asked as he stirred a stick through the ashes of the fire.
"Yes. They all are, except Chang." Katara said and Zuko chuckled.
"I'm not surprised." He stopped stirring and set the stick down. "How can you tell?"
"It's hard to explain. I can just, feel them. It's something I was taught by the healers in the North Pole. It helps with checking on pregnancies." She explained. Zuko cocked his eyebrow.
"Going to become a great and powerful healer?" Katara shot him a withering look and Zuko shrugged.
"Are you really trying to tell me that healing is not a useful skill to have?" She retorted and Zuko gave her a small smile.
"Fair point." Zuko rose and walked over to the small wood pile. He grabbed a stave and tossed it onto the fire before taking his seat. "Does blood bending help at all?"
A sick feeling rippled through Katara's insides and she turned away from him.
"The blood bending is nothing to be proud of, not a form to use."
"Couldn't you use it to stop someone from bleeding out?"
"Do you know what happens when blood stops moving?"
"No?"
"It thickens. And when that clot is released back into the body, when it goes into the heart or the head, people die."
"I just don't think it's something you should give up on."
"Having people die isn't reason enough?" Zuko sighed and slumped over, his elbows on his legs.
"Katara, I think you're looking at this too personally." He said and turned his head to look at her. She scowled and turned away.
"Having people die because of me, kind of means I need to take it personally." Katara said. They went quiet again, and Katara focused on the hum of noise in the forest.
She thought about the last time she had tried. The woman had torn violently during labor. The baby was born, plump, pink, and healthy, but there was so much blood. The grandmother had taken the newborn while the husband clutched his wife's hand. Katara held back the blood as the midwife made her frantic stitches.
It should have worked.
But during the entire procedure, Katara had ignored the steady thrumming of the woman's heartbeat. She ignored the natural circulation of the body's tide. She held the blood in place.
She could feel it shoot through the woman's veins, the fat glob of thickened blood. It swam down toward the mother's feet and then was sucked back. It was recalled to the heart.
In one of the four small pockets of pulsing blood, it lodged itself there. The woman's heart couldn't beat.
In her panic, and with the rushing of all four chambers, Katara could not pry the clot loose.
The mother died.
"Katara." She shook herself and looked at Zuko. "Do you remember the North Pole?"
"Pretty hard to forget Zhao murdering the moon spirit."
"Do you remember pinning me to the wall in a wave of ice?" Katara stared at him. "You are an amazing bender and I, I know you will do something great with it."
"You think too highly of me Zuko." She muttered and crossed her arms over her chest.
"I think the world of you." Katara turned sharply, and Zuko was there. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her, his other arm wrapping around her middle to hold her.
"Zuko." She tried to sound reproachful, but her voice came out no more than a whisper. He brought her hand up to his face and kissed the inside of her wrist.
"You said they were asleep." He replied with a smile.
"Chang isn't." She hissed. Zuko let go of her hand and ran his thumb over her bottom lip.
"I'm fairly certain that she's seen us asleep in bed together."
"Zuko!" Katara put her hands to his chest and pushed, lightly. Zuko dipped in and kissed her, lightly.
"I'm not intending to bed you on the ground Katara." He said and released her with a laugh. Katara's face flushed and she shoved on his arm.
"Chang is very, supportive, of us being together." Katara said and eyed the supposed sleeping form of the older woman. Zuko looked over as well and scoffed.
"I think she has a romantic streak a mile wide and wants us to run off together." He said as he stood, brushing off the back of his pants. He grabbed a blanket and Katara tilted her head.
"Could you imagine?" She asked. Zuko looked down at the blanket in his hands.
"Many times." He walked off and Katara watched him place the blanket over Azula. He then crouched down, looking into something on the ground. He stood sharply and walked quickly back to the fire.
"What is it?" She asked as he sat back down. He held out his hand, holding tightly onto a piece of paper.
"Perhaps, we don't have to imagine at all." Katara took the paper and smoothed it out. It was a letter, written with clean rows of characters.
"What is this?" She asked as she began to read.
"My mother wrote letters to the people she loved back home. This one was to her old boyfriend. Azula was hiding it from me." Zuko explained. "Now I know why."
Katara froze.
"Their, son?"
"Ozai isn't my father." Zuko stated.
"Zuko…" Katara put a hand on his shoulder.
"It makes so much sense. Why he hated me. Why he hurt me." Zuko stared into the fire and Katara kept her eyes on his face.
"But Zuko, that means you have no right to be Fire Lord."
Zuko stayed silent.
Katara looked back down at the letter. She could feel her heart beating heavily in her chest. She stopped seeing the words and was gripped by a tightening band of anticipation. It was if she had just shot up in the air and had a moment of weightlessness before falling.
They could run off. Zuko could go with her to the North Pole. They could go anywhere.
They could go to one of the islands south of the massive Earth Kingdom. The penguins migrated to beaches that were warmer than her home at the pole. She wouldn't have to meet him in locked rooms or darkened spaces.
They could kiss beside a fire with no fear.
"You would lose everything you've worked for. You would lose the throne." Zuko scoffed and began snapping a twig into small pieces.
"The throne? The seat that may be the direct cause of my early death? The throne that sits on the shattered pieces of my country?" At each question, Zuko threw in a piece of the branch. "Katara, I don't even know if I want to be Fire Lord anymore."
"But who would take it over? You told me that they're trying to get Azula reinstated as Fire Lord. That would be detrimental to everyone." Katara countered.
"Not if she quietly disappeared on this trip." Zuko said darkly. "And anyway, the legal documents have Uncle as the next in line until I have a child of my own."
"You really seem like you want to, kill Azula." Katara replied.
"Do you know how many times she has tried to kill me?"
"You're not her Zuko."
"I might be barely related to her."
"You might not be related to Iroh at all then." That gave Zuko pause.
"My family can't just be Iroh forever." He finally said.
"Do you not want to be Fire Lord?" Katara asked.
"I want to be with you Katara." Katara stiffened and looked around again.
"Zuko…"
"Katara, before this visit, all I could ever think about was seeing you again. Now that you're here, all I can think about is how I want to stay with you."
"Being Fire Lord is a bit more important than a crush Zuko." Zuko reeled as if she had slapped him.
"A crush?" He moved himself away from her and his eyes traced her face. "Katara, do you love me?"
"What?" Katara sputtered and clutched at the front of her tunic.
"You haven't said it. Not once this entire time."
"I." She stopped, her mind a complete blank.
"I'm not trying to pressure you. I just want to know. Do you only think of me as a crush?"
"Katara…"
"...do you love me?"
Aang had his arm draped over her middle, though he kept space between her back and his chest. He said she got too warm, and her long hair clung to his face.
Katara shifted her arm under the pillow and tried to brace her head in a more comfortable position. She took in a breath and let it out slowly.
"Of course I do sweetie." She said. The words had no taste and fell easily out of her mouth. Of course she loved him. Seeing him every morning made her smile and she loved having him around.
She just hated where this conversation led.
"You said your people marry at age sixteen." Aang said. Katara closed her eyes, and the hand under her pillow gripped at the sheets.
"In the North Pole. The tribes in the South Pole wait until eighteen." She corrected.
"That's less than a year away." His hand slid down from her waist and laid lightly on her hip.
"Aang, the more you ask, the more it makes me want to say no."
"So, you're saying that the only reason you say no is out of spite?" Katara felt him raise up on one arm, and he kept his hand on her hip.
"No, I still stand by the fact that I don't feel ready. But asking me makes me feel more unsure." She said.
"How am I supposed to know then if I don't ask?" The hand on her hip started to slide forward. Katara grabbed it with her free hand and shoved it back at him.
"Aang, I said no."
"I'm sorry Katara. I'm just confused. If you love me, if you know we're going to be together, I don't know what you're unsure about." Katara didn't reply, so Aang smoothed away her hair and moved closer to her. "I love you Katara."
After he fell asleep, Katara laid awake. She eased his arm off of her and slid out of their bed. They were visiting the reconstruction of the Southern Air Temple and had taken over one of the larger rooms available. The newly anointed class of Air Acolytes had nearly fallen over themselves in an attempt to make them comfortable. What bothered Katara was how she seemed to only be treated well because of her relationship with the Last Airbender.
Now, she walked out of their room and down a hall. There was no need to keep watches, so the hall and rooms around her were quiet. She meandered through the temple until she reached the front doors. She exited and stepped on the chilled tile of the courtyard and headed to the grazing area where Appa and the smaller Air Bison slept.
The sky was cloudless and Katara could see the thin scoop of a moon and the vast expanse of stars. Even with such a small amount of lunar light, Katara could still feel the pull of the night sky. It was the smallest of tides, as if she was standing in the shallows of a lake. When she went swimming at night, she often felt like she had finally accessed the way to get to the sea in which the stars rocked. As it is above, she wanted so desperately to be below.
But nothing ever seemed to line up. The seams would never match.
What she felt in her heart was not reflected in the tide of her body.
It was during these times, in the hours after this very conversation, that Katara wondered if there was something wrong with her.
Maybe she was frigid. Katara crossed her arms over her chest, her fingers pressing into the flesh.
She certainly was cold.
A large pop from the fire startled them both.
"Zuko. I don't know." Katara said quietly, still looking at the fire. "What I feel for you is something I never felt with, with anyone else."
"If I step down, would you stay with me? We could get a nice apartment somewhere and I can serve tea." Katara moved to him and leaned her head on his shoulder.
"No. We have a duty to our people Zuko." She said as Zuko put his arm around her. His thumb ticked back and forth over her arm as he held her.
"I just want you to be my people." He kissed the top of her head and she smiled.
"What are you going to do about the letter?" She asked.
"I don't know. I should burn it, but I think that might make Azula snap. This is the lynchpin of whatever devious plot she and Ozai have cooked up." Zuko replied and took the letter from her.
"So you're going to let her keep it?"
"For now." Zuko refolded it and set it aside. He kept his arm around her as he did and Katara fell sideways into him when he leaned over.
"Can you tell me about her?"
"Who? My mother?" Katara nodded and Zuko straightened himself. He briefly rubbed her arm and then just held her. "My mother, up until the night she left, was sometimes the only person I interacted with. As the crown prince, I wasn't able to attend the boys' Fire Nation Academy. Azula went to the one for girls, where she met Ty Lee and Mai. Uncle and Lo Ten, that's his son, would play with me when they were home.
"The Imperial Palace didn't used to allow for live in guests. There was no such thing as holding court and having the nobles staying on the premises. So I couldn't even play with the other noble kids.
"My mother had an appreciation for the arts. She would tell me stories and teach me poetry. I wasn't very interested in it, because I felt like my father didn't approve. He didn't. The things he did approve of, I was never good at so I don't know why I bothered. Anyway, she taught me a lot about culture. She also taught me a lot of being proud of who you were as a person. See, Ursa isn't a Bender."
"Isn't she the granddaughter of Avatar Roku?" Katara interrupted.
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean anything. Even Aang might not have any Airbender children, let alone any Benders. Him being the Avatar makes him special, and that doesn't necessarily fall down the line." Zuko explained.
"You're special." Katara said demurely and snuggled closer to him. Zuko laughed softly and moved his arm up so he could put his hand in her hair.
"I'm not. Azula is though. She's the most powerful Firebender I have ever seen. And that's including Uncle."
"Zuko, you have better accuracy than any Bender I've ever seen."
"I'm not going to argue with you about my bending Katara."
"Why do you bend like a Waterbender sometimes?" Zuko froze, but didn't move away. Katara pulled herself up and looked at him.
"When you bend lightning, properly, you use waterbending forms." Zuko scowled at the comment, but then just shrugged.
"Uncle taught me that a powerful bender would be someone who could utilize things from all four bending people."
"That's Avatar talk."
"That's what I said!"
The rest of their watch was spent talking about bending forms. Katara drew diagrams in the dirt by the fire of different stances she thought Zuko could use. He, in turn, showed how he could not only manipulate fire, but heat in general. This turned into a long discussion in how Katara could change water to snow and steam and the theories behind bending.
Sokka and Suki had roused themselves and sat with them for a few minutes. They raised different theories based on their perception as nonbenders.
When Zuko and Katara stood to go to their bedrolls, she realized that he hadn't mentioned the letter to them. She looked at him, watched as he unrolled the thin mattress. He must have felt her watching, as he turned and eyed her.
Katara blew him a kiss and winked salaciously. Zuko's brow shot up and his face turned bright red. Katara covered her mouth as she laughed and Zuko laid down, his back toward her. Katara kept her smile as she laid down and pulled a blanket over herself.
He never did like being embarrassed.
Katara woke when she felt someone move up next to her. She turned and found Zuko curling himself around her. His face nuzzled her neck, and while he seemed more playful than amorous, it still sent a tingle down past her navel.
"Zuko." She whispered. "They're going to see us!" Zuko kept his face pressed against her neck.
"Who is going to see us?" He asked, and Katara shivered as his hot breath curled against her skin.
Katara shoved him off and propped herself up on one arm. She looked around the campsite and saw, no one. The fire was dying, but she could still see the absence of bodies. Even Chang was gone.
Zuko pulled gently on her and she laid back down. She rolled onto her side and faced him. He lay on his left side, but Katara tucked a hand under his face and ran her thumb over the underside of his scar. Zuko tilted into her palm and kissed her.
"Do you like my scar?" He asked. Katara tilted his face back toward her.
"It's not my favorite." She kissed him and he grabbed her closer to him.
It was her hands that travelled down his body, lifting up the edge of his shirt. They sat up and Zuko only broke contact for a moment to remove his shirt. She looked down at him and put her hand on the scar on his chest.
"If that's your favorite, you are very narcissistic." He said and Katara laughed.
"Actually, my favorite is a thin one on your inner thigh. You'll have to tell me the story behind that."
"Someday." Zuko said. "Katara, I love you."
"Zuko. I-" He was on her. He came to her so quickly, Katara felt herself falling back. Zuko caught her, and lowered her gently. His lips caught hers, and his tongue tentatively seeking hers. Katara wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into her.
He said it seeking no response. He said it because it was true.
Zuko pressed his forehead against hers and looked down, quickly unknotting her tunic. He used the flat of his hands to push the fabric aside, sliding over the skin of her stomach. She was unbound, so when he reached her back, his hands slid upward and then back toward the front, cupping her breasts.
Letting out a deep breath, Katara closed her eyes. She felt the rough callouses on his palms and fingertips as he squeezed her breasts. She felt him move in and kiss her throat as he rolled one of her nipples between his thumb and finger. The quick, sharp pain met the throb of pleasure as Zuko sucked lightly on her neck.
She moaned and his other hand slipped down her thigh. With a knee, Zuko pushed apart her legs. He kissed down her throat and over her collarbone. She ran her hands through his hair and curled her fingers in the long strands. By the swirling depths she loved his hair. She pulled and his head came up. She examined his face and he looked curious.
"What is it beloved?" He asked. She tilted her head.
"I can't decided."
"What?"
"Where I want your mouth."
"If I may make a suggestion." Katara released him and he rose to his knees. He untied the front of her pants and quickly jerked them down. Without bothering to remove them completely, Zuko knelt back down.
He held onto her waist and bent to put his mouth against her. He looked like he was kneeling in obeisance. He certainly paid proper tribute.
As when he kissed her, Zuko's tongue slid between her lips and Katara's breath caught in her throat. He opened her up that way, moving his tongue up and down. She felt herself inherently clench, and Katara bucked her hips up to his face. Zuko pushed his tongue into her, and as he backed out he sucked on the softer parts of her.
He moved his tongue up again, and flicked it against her clit. He caught the nub, gently, with his teeth. She gasped sharply and grabbed his hair again. Katara could feel him smile against her and she pushed his head back down.
"Don't be smug." She growled. Zuko moved his hands down and back, grabbing firmly on her backside. He pushed her into his face and he moved his tongue in and around her. He would stop to take a breath, and Katara whined. He freed a hand to rub her clit while he still worked his tongue inside of her. She made fists in his hair, hard, and bucked. When she came, Zuko seemed to drink her in. She let go, her arms falling down to her sides.
As she relaxed back onto the ground, Zuko rose to his knees again and undid his pants. He pulled them down, just enough, to free his rigid member. With one hand, covered in her wetness, he stroked himself.
"May I make another suggestion?" He asked and she nodded weakly. He moved over her and, hand still holding his cock, rubbed the tip against her swollen lips. Katara moaned and Zuko eased himself in. She gasped as he buried himself in her before lowering down to kiss her again. She tasted herself on his lips and tongue. Katara put her arms around him and clung to him. BRacing himself, Zuko kept his mouth on hers as he slowly moved in and out of her.
He kept his pace, moving slowly back and forth. The head of him rubbed along a line inside of her that seemed attached to someplace higher. She felt that tingling itch and again rocked her hips up toward him, urging him deeper.
He still would move no faster.
"Zuko." She said after moving her face away from him. "Please."
"I don't want this to be easy for you. Just enjoy it." He said. Katara kept whining and wriggling, shifting her hips so he rubbed against different parts of her. It built the tingling itch to unbearable heights. She dug her nails into his back as she arched her own.
"Zuko!" She yelled as she came. Zuko thrust deep inside of her, and she could feel him pulse.
Katara's body went limp as she let out a breath.
She woke up to screaming.