During the winter in the South Pole, a period of darkness would last for sixty-seven days. Hunting was done only to stave off boredom, as it rarely yielded anything except minor frostbite, and the tribes had to rely on stores built up in the summer. Households gathered together in their own large building to hoard their body heat, and that first winter was when Katara really felt the physical absence of her mother.
They had pickled the seaweed, salted the snowcap berries, and gathered a stash of sea prunes. The rest of their meals would be filled with polar whale or seal turtle raw and cooked meat.
In the summer they had fish, fresh berries, tubers, and other plant life. Meals during the summer were taken communally, but not at any specific time. A cooking pot would usually be going all day, and another hearth would be created anytime someone wanted to make something specific. As children, she and Sokka would usually dart into the cooking area to swipe food in between bouts of play.
In the winter, it wasn't as though she wasn't eating properly, just that everything was heavier. That first winter though, more than just the food was heavy.
After the men from the village left, everyone started to take their meals together in the main lodge during the winter. It made it easier as the absences were now more generalized and less acute. But Katara hadn't had a family meal since then.
Even when she had gone back home with Sokka, even with Paku living there at the time, they never took their meals just as a household. With his new position, Hakoda had started hosting meals every night for the widows, orphans, and other displaced people. Then Sokka started not coming home, and Gran-Gran went to the North Pole to live somewhere that was a little more comfortable for her aging body.
Watching Noriko entreating Kiyi to eat her vegetables, and Noren sneaking more meat onto his daughter's plate, gave Katara a warm feeling. She sipped her tea with a smile and eyed Zuko as he sat back.
He looked like he was trying to figure out a puzzle.
"Zuko?" She whispered. Zuko startled and looked over at her with a smile. "Are you okay?"
"Of course." He said and leaned forward to put back his tea cup.
"Is the food to your liking Fire Lord?" Noriko asked as she regarded them.
"It's wonderful Noriko, thank you." Zuko cleared his throat and Noren turned. "Do you do this every night?"
"Do what?" Noren asked and Zuko shifted on his knees.
"Eat like this. Together." He explained and Noren and Noriko exchanged a look.
"Well, yes." Noren replied.
"I thought Noren would be later, which is why I didn't have dinner prepared." Noriko added.
"Don't you eat with your parents?" Kiyi asked. Noriko shushed her but Zuko smiled.
"No, I don't. My parents, aren't around anymore." He said.
"Kiyi." Noriko said sharply and Kiyi bowed her head. Noren sighed and pushed away his bowl.
"Fire Lord, you wanted to know about Ikem?" He asked.
"I want to know about Ursa. Did she come back to the village?" Zuko replied and Noren looked at his wife.
"She did. Years ago, she came back after leaving the capital." Noren paused to let out a light laugh. "She looked so out of place in her rich robes."
"It's amazing to think such a beautiful woman came from this village." Noriko said dreamily.
"Did you meet her?" Katara asked and Noriko shook her head.
"She left the village shortly before I moved here." She explained. "I have seen portraits though. And everyone talks about what a beauty Lady Ursa was." She turned to Zuko. "With such a beautiful mother it is no wonder our Fire Lord is so handsome." Zuko coughed and Katara could see him blush.
"Ursa went into the valley, because she was looking for Ikem." Noren said.
"Did she find him?" Zuko asked and Noren shrugged.
"Can't say for sure. Neither Ikem nor Ursa came back." The older man said. Zuko looked down at his hands, his brows furrowed.
"Why do people go into the Forgetful Valley?" Katara asked. Noren glanced at Zuko and shook his head.
"There's a legend, about a spirit that visits a part of the forest. There are three lakes and she is said to visit one each season. If you were to search for her, and found her, you could ask her for a boon. To forget. Like you were becoming a new person." Noren said and Noriko reached out to hold his hand. Noren smiled at his wife and patted her hand that held his.
"I went in there for some reason." Noriko said before turning to Katara and Zuko. "I don't know what I was looking to forget, but I'm happy now." Zuko faced Katara and she nodded.
They were going into the forest.
"Thank you for your hospitality, but I think we should be going now." Zuko said as he stood. Kiyi squawked in displeasure and Katara chuckled as she rose.
"Will you come back and color with me?" Kiyi begged and now Zuko laughed.
"Of course." He said and Kiyi darted to him before Noriko could stop her. Noren and Noriko froze as they watched their daughter embrace the Fire Lord. Zuko was stunned for a moment, but patted Kiyi's head.
"Thank you for showing me your drawings Kiyi." He said and gently pushed her away from him. Kiyi turned and saw her parents terrified faces. Rolling her head on her shoulders, she turned back and gave Zuko a proper bow.
"Thank you Fire Lord." She muttered and then dash out of the room, heading toward the outside. Noren burst out laughing while Noriko put her hands over her face and groaned.
"It's like having a little sister again." Zuko paused and thought for a moment. "Except this one doesn't want to kill me." Katara bit the inside of her cheek and squeezed her eyes shut.
No one said anything.
"We really should be going." Katara said as she opened her eyes. She grabbed Zuko's arm and started dragging him to the door. "You have a lovely home Noriko." Noriko and Noren offered weak waves as the pair left the hut.
"Well that was, nice." Katara huffed as they stepped onto the main road heading to the village center.
"Mmm." Zuko intoned and Katara glanced at him. He was lost in thought again.
"So we're obviously going into the valley." Katara said hoping to jar him out of his thoughts.
"Mmm."
"Do you think your mother might still be there?"
"Mmm." This time he shrugged. Katara felt her eye twitch and she took a deep breath.
"Want to go back to the stage and see if we can have sex backstage?" She asked. Zuko stopped and grabbed her arm.
"Do you think we have time?" He responded and Katara smacked his chest.
"I was just trying to see if you were listening!" She scoffed. Zuko grinned and let go of her arm.
"I always listen to you Katara." He said and they started walking again.
"Well a response would be nice." She muttered.
"I was just thinking. I don't think Ikem was being honest."
"How do you figure?"
"For one, he was very casual with me. And not just in his demeanor, but by calling my mother by her given name."
"Maybe that's just how things are around here."
"He also knows a lot about the valley."
"Well, he does live right next to it."
"Except both he and Noriko told us that people who go in, don't come back out. And the people that do aren't from Hira'a and have their memory wiped. If Noren knows so much about it, then why hasn't his memory been wiped?"
Katara stayed silent as she mulled over what he said.
"Okay, that is a little suspicious. What do you think?"
"This might be a stretch, but he took his name after a character in disguise. So I don't think his real name is Noren. And maybe he's been to the valley. Maybe he shows people how to get there."
"You think he took your mother to that spirit?"
"I think it's possible. So he knows where she is."
"Why didn't you confront him?"
"In front of his family?" Zuko gave her a look that made her roll her eyes. "He's obviously keeping her hidden. I think if I find a way to let him know that I'm not trying to hurt her, that I'm not being sent by Ozai." Zuko drifted and Katara nodded.
"You think he'll tell you where she is?"
"That's the hope."
"Having your sister camped out a mile from the village might not help you achieve that." Zuko grunted and Katara patted his arm. They strode into the village proper and many of the villagers still milling about the shops called out to their Fire Lord.
"Do you think she's with Ikem?" Katara asked idly as they approached the edge of the village.
"I hope so. I think that would make her happy."
"Do you really think-" Katara stopped abruptly when Zuko glared at her. She snapped her mouth shut and Zuko ushered her over to one of the vendor stalls. They still had to get dinner for the rest of the group.
It didn't take them very long to get enough food. The time was spent trying to get the vendors to accept payment. So many of them kept bowing, assuring that they would be honored to serve the Fire Lord and Zuko started to get frustrated. Katara forced a laugh as she pushed him away, though he threw a handful of coins onto the vendor's counter as they moved.
"I don't think it's true." Zuko said suddenly when they were some distance away from the village. He stopped and went to sit on a fallen log at the side of the road. Katara stood in front of him, her arms crossed over her chest.
"Why?" Katara asked.
"Timing for one. My mother didn't get pregnant right after the wedding, which, while rushed, still took some time to plan." Zuko rubbed his face. "But the letter could start all sorts of conspiracy. What's to keep people from thinking that Ikem wasn't somehow smuggled into the palace to have an illicit affair with my mother?"
"No one would believe that." Katara said and Zuko looked up at her.
"Sure, but that won't keep them from saying it. Get enough people saying it and they can pretend it's true." Zuko shook his head before lowering it. "Plus it's too good to be true, having Ozai not be my father."
"Do you really not want to be Fire Lord?" Katara asked.
"Of course not. It's awful." Zuko let out a sound that was half sigh, half growl. "I wasn't kidding when I said I wanted to run off with you."
"What would we even do Zuko?" She asked with a laugh. Zuko stood and put his hands on her hips. He pulled her closer to him and bent down to put his forehead against hers.
"We would go and find the other Waterbenders. We would get married in the South Pole. We would have a daughter named Kya and a son named Lo Ten and a brood of other children. We would be free to love each other." He said. Katara smiled and put her hands on his chest.
"Zuko." She lost her voice and Zuko kissed her. It was one that took her breath away and made her chest ache. There was a wanting that had nothing to do with sex and it pulled at her like chains. When he stopped, he kept his forehead against hers.
"I love you Zuko." She whispered.
"I love you Katara." He embraced her, wrapping his arms tightly around her. "You know I'm yours." Katara pulled away and Zuko looked a little confused.
"You know we can never be together." She said.
"Perhaps not publicly, no." He replied.
"I want a family Zuko."
"We can have one." Katara felt her expression darken and Zuko reeled slightly.
"I want a family with a father. Not the secret bastard children of the Fire Lord." She said. Zuko looked askance and Katara felt a little ashamed.
"I would do anything for you Katara." He replied and turned back to her. Katara sighed and softened.
"We have a duty to our people." She said again and Zuko nodded.
"Let's head back. I want to move into the valley tonight." He leaned in and lightly kissed her.
As they walked back to the campsite, Katara let herself drift.
She understood the international political stage as it presently was. The Earth Kingdom had suffered the least when it came to the core structure of their nation, and the Earth King had returned from his wanderings wiser. They were the better off financially and with greater security, even after losing the Yue providence. The reparations levied against the Fire Nation and the regaining of the colonies helped with their rebuilding efforts.
The Fire Nation had to support the repatriation process from the displaced colonials while also paying higher levies and import taxes. Building, or rebuilding, the kingdom would be tough, but doable. If Zuko managed to stick it out, he would be able to shape his country into the vision he had.
Maintaining it would be another story. Zuko would, by the necessity of his position, marry into an influential noble family. It would make more sense for him to marry someone from the Earth Kingdom at an international level, but he was already changing too much on the national stage. So he would have to take a Fire Nation bride, and someone with enough clout to give him security.
His heir would probably be betrothed to some noble family in the Earth Kingdom.
The heir would have enough problems as it was. The financial state of the country was only going to get worse before it got better, especially if the Water Tribes did successfully sue for reparations, and the only thing that would save them is foreign intervention.
Katara had thought about it. How it would be smarter if the Northern Water Tribe king had tried to find a bride for his adopted son in the Earth Kingdom.
Katara felt herself scowl as she thought about it. Her being married off to the prince would be nothing more than symbolic and not the best use of a political maneuver.
Having her married off to the Avatar would elevate the Southern Water Tribe to global significance. With that and the prospect of the next Avatar being a Waterbender, it would be a boost to their international reputation.
It would be fine if Hakoda's firstborn and only son were to marry Suki. It was a romantic tale of love found in a war that they won. It was another kind of symbolic marriage, but one that would work better for propaganda. If Katara married another war hero, that could also be acceptable.
Zuko was one of the great war heroes.
Katara glanced over at Zuko.
He was beautiful. There had been one night when he had read from a book of poetry and she had missed most of it. She had watched his face as he recited, watching how his mouth moved and how he fell into different expressions for each piece.
Aang had always been showing her things, like he was letting her into a room of things he had collected. Zuko was more about sharing things with her. He asked her for her interpretation of things and seemed to find things enriched by adding her perspective to them.
And she loved him.
Katara felt her pulse quicken and she looked away, before Zuko noticed.
Where Aang had been motion, Zuko was substance. Katara shook her head. There was no comparison between the two men. She had truly loved Aang. Nothing was going to change that. It was going to take her some time, however, to understand that loving Zuko did not negate her past.
She did note that she seemed to love men who could never just be with her.
"What are you thinking about?" Zuko asked as they approached the campsite.
"My taste in men." Katara replied wryly and Zuko laughed.
"Truly a baffling question." He replied and Katara stuck her tongue out at him.
The campsite was oddly quiet as they approached. Between the play and lingering at Noren's home, it was well into dusk by the time they got back. Katara could smell the smoke from the cooking fire and she realized that she hadn't spared a thought as to how they were managing with Azula.
Anxiety tightened her body and Katara had to focus on her breathing to keep her from running toward them.
When they got in seeing distance, Katara relaxed. Sokka was crouched next to the fire, but there was no sign of the women.
"Hey Sokka." Katara greeted as she walked up to her brother. Sokka stood and stretched his back.
"About time. What did you bring me?" He moved to Zuko who was holding the bag of vitals from the village.
"I got you a bag of fire flakes." Zuko said and pulled out a smaller bag of the spicy food. He tossed it to Sokka and went back to rummaging through the bag.
"Where are the others?" Katara asked as Sokka opened the bag. She could smell the sharp scent of spice from where she stood.
"Hot Shot needed to relieve herself so Suki and Chang escorted her into the woods." He answered before stuffing a fistful of fire flakes into his mouth.
"Hot Shot?" Katara repeated. Sokka shrugged.
"It's a work in progress." He said, flakes spewing from his mouth as he spoke.
"He calls me Hot Pants." Zuko added as he walked to the fire. Katara pressed her fingers to her forehead and blinked at the ground.
"I call you mister Hot Pants." Sokka corrected. Katara gaped at him and her brother shrugged again.
"If it's taken you this long to realize I nickname everyone, that is your own fault." Sokka said.
"What do you call Suki?" Katara asked. Sokka opened his mouth but it was Zuko who answered.
"Sexy Warrior Nymph." Sokka gestured to Zuko and nodded.
"Okay, what do you call Toph?" Katara put her hands on her hips and Sokka turned to look at Zuko's back.
"He got lazy and calls her the Blind Bandit." Zuko said.
"Aang?" Katara pressed.
"The family safe version is The Guy Who is Dating My Sister." Zuko said. Katara glared at Sokka and he just smiled blithely at her.
"What's the not family safe version Sokka." Katara seethed.
"Blown Hard." Zuko said. Katara looked confused.
"Don't you mean blowhard?" She asked.
"Think about it Katara." Zuko replied. Katara did and felt her face redden.
"What's that even supposed to mean?" She demanded.
"Basically it's about how people are constantly, inflating his ego." Sokka said.
"It's basically engorged." Zuko added. Sokka snorted a laugh and Katara glowered.
"You two are disgusting." Katara said and walked over to the fire. Zuko caught her eye and smiled, but Katara only clicked her tongue in disapproval.
"I thought you guys were all friends?" Katara continued and Zuko sat down.
"The Avatar is a close, personal friend to the Fire Lord." Zuko said and Sokka approached. "I'm sure we will always be friends, but Aang is more involved with his whole Avatar thing."
"And honestly, the guy is more concerned with rebuilding the Air Nomads than hanging out." Sokka said.
"Who knew that you two would end up being so close." Katara said with a sigh and Sokka plopped down between her and Zuko.
"Zuko and I are soulmates." Sokka said and ate another handful of fire flakes. Zuko nodded.
"If I could get him to stop saying that in front of my ministers and generals, I would be very happy." He stated. Katara raised her eyebrow at her brother.
"They kept asking why he brought me to meetings." Sokka said in way of explaining. Katara balked.
"You take him to meetings?" She shot the question over Sokka's head and she saw Zuko grin to himself.
"It's been great." Zuko pulled a more serious face but still looked at the fire. "I mean, it's not the smartest move. But I do like reminding them that we're part of a global community. So I have Sokka in as my foreign consultant."
"Slash soulmate." Sokka interjected.
"How did I not know this?" Katara felt no small amount of envy at the comradery between the two men.
"Because you're off with Aang or out of comms in the Poles." Sokka said. There was a slight tone of bitterness and Katara stilled. She had never thought that her brother might miss her.
"If you love Zuko so much, why don't you marry him?" Suki's voice broke the tense moment and Katara looked up. Suki and Chang flanked Azula, who seemed spaced out.
"Unfortunately, our love is not recognized by the Fire Nation. We would have to be a secret and it's just too much." Sokka said in mock dejection.
"Many places do not condone same sex relationships. Kyoshi is one of very few provinces where there is a sort of agreement about them, though they have no legal standing." Chang said and Suki nodded.
"Avatar Kyoshi had relationships with both men and women so it makes sense." Suki added.
"Okay, I really need to ask this because I have been insanely curious." Zuko spoke up and Suki frowned at him.
"The Kyoshi Warriors are not all lesbians." She said darkly and Zuko turned to Sokka.
"You asked her already didn't you." He said.
"More times than I really should have." Sokka replied.
"Aang said that the Air Nomads allowed for all types of relationships." Katara offered and Sokka clapped his hands together.
"I'm saying it now. The next Avatar is going to be a woman and end up with a woman. I will put money on it." He said and Suki laughed. Katara winced and she felt her guts shift uncomfortably.
Thinking about the next Avatar made her feel distressed.
"I don't really want to think about that." Katara muttered and Sokka watched her. He reached out and put a hand on her shoulder.
"I didn't mean to freak you out. But considering that most Avatars live for a really long time, chances are we'll all be dead by the time the next one shows up." Katara groaned and shoved Sokka, who went sprawling into Zuko.
"So what did you find out Fire Lord?" Chang interrupted. Zuko leaned back on his hands and sighed.
"We're going to go find a spirit." He said.