Katara woke up the next day tangled in sheets and wearing her days old clothes. Being indoors, she now felt the film of sweat and dirt she had accumulated during the trip, but her disgust wasn't enough to make her shower.

She freed herself from the bed and stood for a moment as her insides shifted. It felt like there was a sucking hole somewhere near her gut and nothing fit right. Katara put a hand to her stomach and waited for her body to settle. Grief was a hungry thing and between it and her tears, Katara felt like a dehydrated husk.

Something shifted on the other side of the curtain and Katara's head snapped up. Hearing the sounds of soft footfalls, Katara rushed to the curtain and ripped it to the side.

"Ch-" She bit off the rest of the name. Gold eyes flashed before the woman bowed.

"Good morning Lady Katara." The woman said and stood upright, a cheerful smile on her face. "My name is Hikaru and I am here to assist you." Katara relaxed, disappointed, and walked over to the couch. Hikaru had brought in a breakfast tray.

"Thank you Hikaru. Do you have any news?" Katara asked as she sat down on the couch. Hikaru nodded and stood attendant at her side.

"Yes my lady. Your ship to the North Pole pulled into port the other day and has already picked up your luggage from Republic City. It is ready to set sail when you are, though the captain has made mention that sooner would be better than later." Hikaru said. Katara sighed as she lifted the cover from her plate. It was a simple meal of rice, eggs, and a red sauce.

"I would like to leave today. Can you make sure the captain is aware?"

"Of course my lady. Your brother and the Avatar have already made themselves ready." Katara paused, chopsticks halfway to her mouth.

"The Avatar?" Katara repeated.

"Yes my lady. The Avatar announced this morning that he was also going to the North Pole." Hikaru explained. Katara made no reply but took a bite.

"Also this morning, the Fire Lord announced a month of mourning with a state funeral in two days." Hikaru went on. Katara paused again and lowered the chopsticks.

"For Chang?" She asked.

"Oh, my apologies my lady, no. The month of mourning is for his sister, the princess Azula. She unfortunately perished during your trip to visit the Fire Lord's mother's home village." Hikaru replied evenly. Katara folded her hands in her lap and stared at the breakfast tray, seeing nothing.

"My lady." Hikaru said and Katara looked up. "Those of us currently in residence, we were all trained by Chang." Katara blinked rapidly. "The household grieves with you my lady." Katara nodded and turned back to her food.

"What about Chang?" She asked, her voice thick. "Is she going back to Kyoshi?"

"The Fire Lord offered for Chang to be cremated and interred in the royal tomb, as she fell in his service. She," Hikaru took in a shuddering breath. "She was cremated at dawn." Katara nodded and continued to eat. The food tasted like ash and her stomach had soured, but she needed something to do. Next to her, Hikaru cleared her throat.

"It's fitting I think. Chang gave her heart to the Fire Nation." Katara said diplomatically. She didn't add that it was the Fire Nation that killed her. Hikaru didn't say anything but shifted uneasily.

"Something else Hikaru?" Katara asked genially as she took another bite.

"Yes my lady. The Fire Lord has sent along a gift." Hikaru said. With a sigh, Katara pushed the tray away, giving up on breakfast.

"You can bring it." She said. Hikaru inclined her head and walked over to the door. When she came back, she held a good sized wooden box. Katara moved the tray over more and Hikaru set the box down in its place.

"Thank you Hikaru. You can go now." Katara said and Hikaru bowed, leaving without a word. Katara waited until the door clicked shut to open the box. The wood was fragrant and released a pleasant scent. Inside the box were a traditional stationary set, with brushes, ink stone, multiple ink sticks, and handmade paper. On the top was a folded sheet, her name neatly printed on the front.

She picked up the paper and unfolded it, looking over Zuko's neat brushstrokes. The characters were even, though there was a subtle slope to the lines.

Katara.

I collected this set for you before we left for Hira'a. I hope that you will write me.

Your servant,

Razan

Razan had been the servant who had recommended "The Shapes Dragons Take." That had been the first night Zuko had spent in her bed.

Katara closed her eyes as she refolded the terse note. Once again, she wished she had the power to immolate. Instead, she set the note back on top of the stack of paper and gently closed the lid.

Katara opened the door to her rooms and found a young guard standing outside of it. She startled, but the guard nodded to her.

"Lady Katara, I am to escort you to the carriage waiting to take you to the dock." He said.

"Oh, there's no need. I can take the Air Bison." Katara replied.

"The Avatar sent an acolyte to return your Bison to Air Temple Island." The guard said. Katara's eye twitched but she took a deep breath.

"Then I guess I'll need the carriage." She remarked and the guard nodded again.

"May I take your bag?" He offered and Katara handed over her satchel containing a few pieces of clothing and the stationary box. He shouldered it and she followed him through the palace, exiting out onto the clearing she had landed at the night before.

Sokka and Suki were there with his things, hugging. Aang and Iroh stood next to Appa, talking. Taking another deep breath, Katara walked out to meet them.

"Katara!" Suki said as she saw Katara approach over Sokka's shoulder. She pulled away and walked to meet her. "Did you sleep okay?"

"All things considered." Katara answered and Suki hugged her.

"Please know that she did exactly as she thought was right." Suki said before stepping back, her hands on Katara's arms. "She died a true Kyoshi warrior." Katara nodded, unable to speak. Suki gave her a thin smile and squeezed her arms before letting her go.

"Aang offered to fly us to the ship, but I thought we should take the carriage." Sokka said as he stepped up. Katara quickly wiped her eyes and sighed.

"Yeah, I appreciate it." She glanced over at Aang and Iroh. "But why is he coming?"

"HE says it's diplomatic. He is escorting a tribute Zuko is sending to the king since Zuko and Iroh need to stay for the funeral." Sokka explained.

"Tribute?" Katara looked back at her brother.

"A bribe obviously. Iroh is apparently coming up when the thaw comes to talk about the summer council meeting."

"The reparations thing, right." Katara rubbed her face vigorously.

"Are you okay sis?"

Katara tugged on her cheeks and blinked at Sokka. She dropped her hands with a heavy sigh. "I don't know. I feel empty." Sokka nodded.

"Chang seemed like good people."

"She was the best." Katara glanced to the side and winced, quickly turning her face away. "Tiaavuluk. He's coming over."

"Hey, good morning Katara." Aang greeted and Sokka took a large step away. Katara glared after him as he and Suki walked down to the waiting carriage.

"Hi Aang." She replied.

"Look, Katara, I'm still really confused about what happened to you guys in Hira'a, and after what happened in Republic City, I'm not sure I should be comforting you." Aang fidgeted but held her gaze. "If you want to be by yourself, I totally understand. But if you ever need me, I'll be there for you. No talk about Republic City, no talk about Hira'a, or anything else."

"I appreciate it Aang." Katara said.

Sokka and Suki kissed before Sokka stepped up into the carriage, and Katara gave her friend one last hug. The school Suki was going to open with Ty Lee would continue, though it wouldn't be officially open to students until after the mourning period.

Zuko was noticeably absent, though no one mentioned it.

Once the door to the carriage shut, Katara slumped in her seat and let out a heavy breath.

"So, Zuko huh?" Sokka said as the carriage lurched forward and Katara groaned.

She turned to look out the window as they passed through the interior palace walls. Now they were passing the scorched earth of the palace grounds, and Katara saw the familiar figures of the workers trodding down their rows. From where she sat, Katara still couldn't see any green.

The ride to the docks was fairly short, though Sokka had started to doze. Katara could never fall asleep in a carriage, finding it stifling and jarring on even the smoothest road. But Sokka just leaned his head back and seemed to drift off as soon as his eyes closed.

Aang, flying on Appa, had beaten them there and decided to disembark with them on the boat. It was a repurposed military ship that was flying under the URN flag. It had a large, open deck that had anchor points for three trebuchets. The towering observation deck also housed the control center. Within the hull, there were three rooms for the captain and two military officers, while hammocks were strung up in the common area that also held storage. It was, obviously, not a boat meant to carry passengers.

The crew was simply the captain, two engineers, and a cook. Only the cook wasn't from the Fire Nation, but was born to Fire Nation colonials within the Yue providence.

The captain was an older man with one thick scar running down the side of his face and neck. He shook hands with both Sokka and Katara, smiling warmly.

"Glad to have you aboard. Sorry business about the princess." He said all at once and Katara hesitated, trying to connect the two statements. "I'm Captain Kimura and I welcome you to the Mangetsu Maru." He bowed and Katara followed Sokka up the gangplank.

Katara bypassed Aang and went to the aft of the ship. True to his word, he didn't approach her as she leaned against the railing, watching the city recede as the ship pulled out of the docks. Before they got too far from land, Katara watched a black hawk approach. It loosed a scream before diving down toward the ship.

As the land thinned on the horizon, Katara was startled by the arrival of one of the engineers.

"Lady Katara, a message came for you." She said and handed over the rolled scroll. Katara murmured her thanks as she took it and the engineer bowed before walking away. Cracking the seal, Katara leaned against the railing and read the scroll.

My Lady,

I know you didn't want to see me, but I had to tell you goodbye.

I know you are hurting, and I wish I could be there for you, though I know I am part of that pain. Please understand that you are the greatest love in my life and choosing anything - be it family, or duty, or honor - over your wishes is the hardest thing I can manage. What I did, I did for many reasons, not the least of which being unable to let you walk away with another burden.

I will be waiting for you.

Your most faithful servant.

R.

Katara held the scroll limply in one hand and it curled into a loose roll. The heel of her other hand pressed into her eye as she started to cry.

After dinner, Katara quickly retreated to her room.

There was silence. She could hear the faint sound of the ocean on the other side of the hull, and there was the constant din of pipes and groans from the ship. But in her room, the silence enveloped her.

She sat at the small desk that stood under the lone porthole in her room. Tucking her feet behind the legs of the chair, Katara steadied herself with a sigh. The box, Zuko's gift, was before her, sitting square in the middle of the desk.

Thousands of bands were slowly constricting around Katara. A wide swatch tightened inside her throat and it burned. Thinner strands wrapped around her lungs, cutting through flesh and bone. Surprising herself, Katara lifted her hands and opened the box.

The scent of flowers rose delicately from inside and Katara sighed again. She picked up both of Zuko's letters and laid them out in front of the box.

His print was clear and the ink was a pure jet color. Katara had often seen Zuko write quickly with charcoal pencils when needed, and the tips of his fingers would be stained with a greasy black. These missives had been written with care.

Katara shuddered and held her face in her hands.

She knew better. She knew better than this.

Chang would not be another burden for her, Katara knew that. She had come to terms with her mother's death a few years ago and she knew she could let Chang go. It hurt, but the grief would dull and she would be able to fondly remember the mysterious warrior woman.

And she knew that what Zuko had done for Azula was the most loving and merciful gesture Katara had ever seen. For all of his scars and brokenness, Zuko had looked beyond his own wants and given his sister salvation.

So why had she seethed so?

Sniffling, Katara began to take everything out of the box.

The paper was handmade, produced with a blend of three different plant fibers and cut to even pieces. She ran her fingers over the paper, lightly, and felt the subtle texture. There were a number of fat ink sticks, each carved with a wave motif. The inkstone shone like polished obsidian. Two brushes were wrapped in linen and had the thinnest bunch of bristles. Finally, there were three sticks of blue wax and a seal stamp engraved with the Water Tribe symbol.

It was a gift that might be given to an emissary, personal but practical. Obviously, Zuko couldn't send her a lover's gift. This was something that would be easy to explain.

Katara brought the box into her lap, mostly to just smell whatever scent had been added to the box. That was how she saw the corner of the bottom lining pulled up.

Gently, she tugged at the upturned corner and the lining gave easily.

A small stash of dried flowers had been hidden underneath.

A vine of small white flowers felt like a bird's breath in her hand. Katara carefully put her other hand on top, scarcely daring to breathe herself so as not to break it apart.

They were all flowers Katara had seen in the botanical garden. The ones she had picked as her favorite.

Slowly, Katara replaced the flowers, the lining, and then began to put the supplies back into the box. Just as she had placed Zuko's notes in and shut the lid, there was a knock at her door.

"Come in." She said and hurriedly wiped at her face. She stood as the door opened and found Aang standing in the doorway.

"Katara." His voice was breathy and Katara felt the bands tighten more around her. "I thought you might like some company." Katara closed her eyes and turned away from him, putting one hand on top of the box.

"Aang, I don't love you anymore." She said. The air was heavy and she felt her palms prickle. The door shut, but she heard Aang walk into the room.

"Katara, you're hurting now." He started but stopped as Katara faced him. Whatever was in her face made him rethink his words.

"This isn't about Chang." She said firmly, though her voice faltered as she continued. "I, I met someone."

"In Republic City?" Katara looked down at the floor, crossing her arms over her chest. "In the palace?" She nodded slightly. "Katara, I know I said we didn't have to talk about what happened in Republic City but," Katara scoffed and tightened her grip on her arms.

"It's not about you leaving me either." She retorted bitterly.

"It doesn't seem that way." Aang replied. "You were barely there a month. You couldn't possibly-"

"Couldn't have what?" She whirled, her fingers digging into her flesh. "Couldn't have had a romance that somehow outshone the wonderful Avatar?"

"Katara, you know I don't think that way." Aang seemed sad, which made Katara aware of her own anger. She subdued it, slightly, and released her hands along with a heavy breath.

"But you do Aang. You have women throwing themselves at you constantly, and each one is willing to bear the next generation of Airbenders. But you insist on putting everything on me, touting me as your One True Love." Katara shook her head. "I keep thinking about Ozai. How he wanted Roku's granddaughter for a wife because he wanted powerful Firebenders for children."

"You think I'm using you?" Aang asked sharply.

"Yes! Maybe not as consciously or as maliciously, but you are. We're a good story Aang. And the world can hardly imagine the type of benders we would have! You want the story and, let's face it, you want my bloodline." Katara shot back. Now Aang's face darkened.

"Katara, I love you because of who you are, which, of course, includes the fact that you are one of the most amazing benders I have ever met." He said carefully.

"But I'm not an amazing bender anymore! I'm just the Avatar's girlfriend. And," Katara added, cutting off Aang's retort. "You do treat me like that."

"How could you possibly think that?"

"Because I, a bender, no longer train with the Avatar, but a nonbender gets private instruction."

"Oh for the love of, this is about Emry again?"

"For once, no! This is not about Emry." Katara seethed. "It's about how I didn't feel like me when I was with you."

"So flirting with some Fire Nation attendant makes you feel more like yourself?" Aang demanded and Katara felt her throat seize.

Oh no, she thought to herself, nothing less than the Fire Lord himself would be worthy.

"I slept with him Aang." Katara said instead. Aang went pale and he gaped silently at her.

"You," He started, paused, and began again. "You what?"

"First chance I got." She was baiting him now.

It caught her off guard when he didn't rise.

"Okay." He said after slowly releasing a breath.

"Okay?" She repeated incredulously.

"Okay." He said again and held up his hands. "It makes sense Katara. A temporary tryst where you bed a stranger? It's right out of a book." Now Katara founder herself sputtering. "If you thought that would make me mad, you're grossly mistaken. I have no hangups about purity or anything like that. I still love you."

"I don't love you Aang." She stated.

"I know that's true now. But I think, once everything has settled and you're not so upset, I think you'll see that the years we've had together means more than this." Aang turned and opened the door. "Good night Katara."

He stepped through the doorway, and Katara watched the door swing shut behind him. The latch killed and Katara staggered back, holding onto the chair to steady herself.

How could he never hear her?

Katara lowered herself into the chair, her legs parallel to the the desk. Her mind ticked, thinking nothing. So mechanically, Katara opened the box again and pulled out a blank piece of paper, an ink stick, the inkstone, and a brush.

Using her bending, Katara ground down some of the stick and mixed a smooth ink. She dipped the tip of one brush into the ink and her hand hovered over the paper.

"Water is benevolent." A healing instructor had once stated to her class. "It is due to the element's compassionate nature that it is able to heal. It heals without judgement, giving succor to the wicked and the righteous both."

Was she compassionate, or just prone to fits of passion for good or ill?

Dear Zuko,

Katara hesitated again. What could she say? She still felt that hurt that felt like a hot knife had been plunged into her chest. Having him him beg her…

Katara closed her eyes.

Why was she so mad at him?

Opening her eyes, Katara lowered the brush to paper.

Forgive me.

Yours,

Katara

While the note dried, Katara meticulously cleaned the brush and inkstone before retrieving the wax and seal. She found a lighting taper in the drawer of the desk and lit it from the sconce on the wall.

Rolled, sealed, and addressed to Razan, Katara set aside her note and packed up the box once again.

She would ask the captain to send out the hawk in the morning.

The rest of the trip passed slowly. Aang would spend his days on Appa, but landed at night to take the evening meal with the crew. He was friendly, but there was no longer that innate intimacy in his gestures or speech. He did not press her, and they didn't speak of their relationship again.

The bands that bound Katara did not loosen, and she felt a persistent ache.

It took about two weeks for them to moor in the docks at the North Pole and the captain nearly threw their luggage and the tribute over the rail in order to beat the expanding frozen shelf that threatened to block him in.

An escort from the palace had been waiting for their arrival and set about cataloguing the tribute and gathering her and Sokka's things. They were informed that their father was in residence and would be waiting for them when they reached the palace interior. The city had been the palace, but since the end of the war it had begun to expand outward. The boundaries between common space and royal apartments was sketchy at best.

As Katara waited for their transport to be loaded, she nestled into the thick fur lining of her coat. Aang, for all his meager attire, seemed at ease in the frigid temperatures. The benefit of being able to firebend she supposed.

Before they were set to ride up to the palace, one of the attendants came up to Katara.

"The captain received a message for you Master Katara." She said and handed Katara a scroll.

"Thank you. Is the sled ready?" Katara asked as she slid the scroll into her sleeve. The attendant nodded and Katara followed her to the narrow sled that she would take to the palace. She was buckled in with a blanket tossed over her while the driver stood at his place behind her, holding the reins to the massive polar bear dog leashed to the front of the sled. The ride would be smooth and leisurely, so there was no need to wrap her face.

Once the sled lurched forward, Katara pulled the scroll out of her sleeve, unconcerned with the possibility of the driver looking over shoulder.

It was just a short note.

Always.

Katara rolled the scroll back up and slid it into her sleeve.

Some of the bands began to ease.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

THE END!

Book 2 will be posted soon. Also, I'm posting a "mini series" on Tumblr that acts as a weird sort of epilogue for this book but from Zuko's POV. You can find it on my dedicated blog for the Steam series (this series you are reading) on .com

See you soon! 3