Chapter Eight
Lost in the game
''Tickets?'' She barely managed to mouth the words. Her entire body was frozen in horror, only hands shook nervously. It had happened. Game over. One mistake and she lost.
Her hectic mind already formed a resolution. She would flee. Blair would run away. She would pack a bag quietly tonight with only most necessary stuff and escape. But where would she go? It was irrelevant, cold and wet streets of New York would be more welcoming than the desolate Midwest.
Mother sighed loudly. Father raised his eyes, as to challenge anyone to contradict him and said, ''Dan and I are going to village. We're selling our land.''
Blair was too struck to feel relief that she wasn't being sent back. ''Our land?''
''Yes,'' He replied resolutely, letting know everyone the topic was closed for further discussion.
His daughter's lip quivered.
Far away, in most remote corners of Wyoming, there were few acres of barren land and small, now almost ruined cottage. One old horse they had died long ago.
The subject about this land had been recently main cause of fights among her parents. Mom struggled with all she had not to sell it, for it was the only land they owned. There was also an ancient secret, deep buried in hearts of Blair's parents, a secret their kids were never and never would be aware of. The particular reason why Jane was against this act is because it was land that still carried her long-forgotten children in her barren bosom.
Every spring, under the shade of old willow, few dozen violets bloomed. That was the only place in miles with those kind of flowers. Under those beautiful violets lay forever three bodies of Jane's babies, doomed to die even before they saw first light of the sun. She never got over them, on their birthdays she mourned them in silence. That's why she was ever grateful for Blair and Dan and loved them unconditionally.
This tiny flat they lived in was lent to them because of the nature of job. They had to be available immediately to residents. If anything happened and they got fired, they would have always had that small acre of land in wilderness.
Now, they would be homeless.
As was the regular habit these days, instead of saying goodnight and parting calmly to go to bed, everyone fought. They bellowed unabashedly, throwing daggers at each other's hearts. Mom blamed dad for selling the land and being too proud, dad blamed Dan for wrecking the family, Dan blamed them for absolutely everything.
When midnight struck and voices died out long ago, Blair got up from her bed to get a glass of water. A figure was sitting on the table, hunched over something, muttering to herself in half-darkness. 'Mom!'' Blair sucked in breath. ''What are you doing? It's late. You have work in the morning, you know you have to get up.''
Jane payed no attention to these words. Her hands roamed over picture ripped out of the magazine on the table. Blair recognized it was Dan's and that car was Chuck's broken one.
''Mom, throw it away-''
''How many misfortunes did this thing cause us,'' She whispered, her voice trembling. Blair never heard her mother talk like this. Her voice was always confident, almost arrogant, most of the times soothing, reproachful in loving matter. But never weak. Never trembling.
''Four wheels. Two doors,'' She continued savagely, her gaze fixed on the paper. ''What if something happened to my Dan? Nobody ever thought that something could have happened to my son? Is not my son's life more valuable than this machine?''
All of a sudden, she clutched the paper firmly and ripped it into pieces. She now shook with parental rage, with agony only mothers could feel.
''Where did this car come from, and this unfortunate boy who drove it? Where from? Where from?! It's the devil's work! He laid in front of my son's eyes all his dreams and fancies.'' Jane rose with some difficulty and staggered into bedroom, frantically whispering, ''In front my Dan. In front of my Dan...''
Blair was still as statue during this speech. Even after Jane was gone, she sat on the same spot for hours. Her mother's cries seeped into her bones, mixing with her own pain. The sensation numbed her completely. Voice echoed in her head. This is all my fault.
Following morning, mother sold the only jewelry she possessed. The three golden bracelets.
Blair was walking across the campus with her hands in her pockets. She wondered how would Chuck act towards her now? Would he approach her or she should? He gave her a ride home last night, but they barely spoke. She was too occupied with worries that waited her at home, listening to mother's frantic voicemail messages.
Cold breeze blew as if to wake her up from a stupor and to give her warning about the world around. She thought she imagined girls that just walked by were laughing at her. Blair shook the ridiculous thought away; is that not the fear of every teenage girl on planet?
She shuddered, quickening her pace to get to class. Looking around, she noticed people were actually pointedly staring at her. They used to hush as she walked by, but now they openly snickered and spoke out loud. She felt uncomfortable. Penelope met her halfway to class with a disturbed look. ''B, I have to tell you something.''
''What's this all about?''
''Let's go somewhere quiet,'' Her friend responded with apologetic look.
They left their coats and bags and sat in one of lounge rooms. There was a worm inside of Blair's guts that squirmed, warning her something is deeply wrong. With every word Penelope uttered, she felt that worm eat all of her insides, leaving a gaping hole.
''She told everyone you two locked yourself in auditorium. But she actually did it.''
The worm kicked and rolled over tender flesh.
''And?'' She spoke icily, gritting her teeth.
Penelope knitted her brows, hating to be the bad messenger. ''She told everyone that he used you. And how you begged for more, but he was full of you and left you there.''
The worm exploded, throwing acid everywhere. Her fists balled up and she shot up, her knee-length silky skirt blowing behind her. She felt this light pink cashmere turtleneck was too much to bear. Blair rolled up the sleeves, the sound of her boots accompanying her as the war drums accompanied soldiers to war.
''That girl is sick!'' She spat, marching towards cafeteria. ''What the hell is her problem with me?''
''Blair,'' Penelope ran after her. ''Please don't make me regret saying this to you! Don't anything rash-''
''Blair,'' Her friend called out, quite frightened and partially amazed at the cold disdainful expression Blair wore. Students got out of her way. They didn't dare say anything out loud, but went back to whispering among each other.
She knew. She knew Serena locked them up in. She knew this was her scheme. And here was the proof. Did she think Blair would go down without a fight?
Blair spotted her blond head in cafeteria immediately.
''Serena,'' She approached the blond with heaving chest and flame ready to be set ablaze. If she was strong enough, she would have broken her neck right here. ''What do you want from me? Why did you do it?''
The usually loud murmur of cafeteria now completely died out and everyone turned to watch the gladiators fight. Old queen against the new one. Who would prevail?
Nate protectively stood up from the table and Serena rolled her eyes. ''What are you talking about?''
''You tell me,'' She demanded not bothering to keep her voice down, ''Dare to tell me to my face what you talk behind my back!''
Serena looked unsure for a second. She didn't know what to do or didn't want to do anything in front of the crowd. Blond hastily took her bag and hissed, ''I don't have time for this.''
Blair's rage flared, as it sometimes did. Under the cover of sweet girl, there hid capricious woman who tolerated no crap from anyone. That woman, or rather a warrior, broke down the bars that held her in prison for years. Bars that her family ironed, bars that society set up and lastly, bars that poverty sealed.
Now, that beautiful raging queen stretched her back and rolled a storm in her pale hands. Blair determinedly grabbed Serena's elbow as she started to retreat, wanting to resolve this here and now. Serena flinched back and they glared at each other. Air was filled with tension.
''What are you doing?'' Nate asked of them, not surprised at this cat fight, but willing to do everything to stop it.
''What's your problem?'' Blair again demanded, yelling for everyone to hear.
''I've got no problem with you, okay?''
''Then what was the story about Chuck and me you made up?''
Serena noticed people gawking at them, and took the opportunity of the attentive crowd. Public fighting wasn't her style of showdown, but if that's what it took - so be it. A smile crept up her face. ''Oh, so that's what's all this about? I didn't make anything up. You guys wrote it yourself. I have to give it to you, it became a real hit. Everyone is talking about it.''
Nate grabbed her forearm with troubled look. Nate secretly knew Serena was the real culprit here, but some feelings in heart couldn't be ignored. He now regretted saying anything to Penelope. Cursing himself for being big mouth after certain guilty pleasures, Nate snapped at the blond, trying to scold her, ''Serena.''
''Let me go,'' she shook him off. ''People don't know everything, but they're dying to. Maybe you can give us some details?''
With these words, she took a dangerous step closer. Blair's lip thinned until it became pale. She felt her heart throbbing, palms aching because of her nails digging in. Her throat was starting to get thirsty for blood. There was a primal instinct pulsing in her, a hunger for revenge and an equal score.
''How was it? Romantic or passionate?'' Serena sneered.
That finished Blair off. She shoved her hard and in an instant Penelope grabbed her shoulders to keep her going at it again. Nate did the same. Enraged girls shook of their guardians, both breathing heavily. Their eyes met, killing each other with mere looks.
''Are you going to hit me?'' Serena challenged, her blond hair messed up in a wild mane; a proper lioness.
''It was you! You made everything happen!'' Blair accused, not seeing anyone from her rage, not hearing anything from the blinding anger.
''Let go of me, Nate! Tell me, what is it that I did?''
''You locked us in!'' Blair shouted in frustration, feeling she was going to burst. Crowd gathered around them and she felt her head growing hot. Her heart was throbbing because she knew she was right. She knew she was telling the truth and her instinct told her Serena way lying.
''Give me a break, Blair. You're still dizzy on the orgasms Chuck gave you.''
Her cheeks flushed and she couldn't contain her fury. Blair's hands shot out and she shoved Serena's shoulders, making the tall girl lose her balance and fall on the floor.
Mercilessly, Blair pounced on her and started attacking her with fists. How much did she hate her, no words could tell.
All of a sudden, strong arms encircled her and carried her away. She was kicking and screaming. Chuck lowered her down and one look from him silenced her.
''Listen,'' She exclaimed, flushed and agitated, wanting to erase that disapproving look of his, ''She locked us in yesterday! Just to bring me into this situation right now!''
''Chuck,'' Serena whimpered, getting off the floor with Nate's help. Her face was a mask of distress and fear. ''I swear I don't know what's she talking about.''
Chuck said nothing. His eyes darkened, brow clouded and the piercing onyx orb jumped from one girl to another.
Blair was waiting for him to believe her. She needed him to believe her. The silence painfully elongated and it was dangerously close to breaking her heart.
''Penelope,'' She barked, stunning the girl. ''Penelope tell them! Tell them what you told me!''
Her friend exchanged awkward glance with Nate. She also remained silent.
''Yeah, Penelope,'' Serena said with triumphant look, smiling as if she had a possession of somebody else's dirty little secret. ''Tell us. But tell us everything. Including how you got the information. We're waiting.''
Everyone waited for Penelope to come clean and point a finger at Serena. To Blair, it seemed like eternity. Why was there a problem now? Why wouldn't she say anything when a minute ago she swore that was what happened?
''I don't know anything,'' Penelope replied calmly, avoiding her friend's eyes.
''What?'' Blair whispered, her eyes glancing around in disbelief. All the color drained from her face.
Lies. Penelope, liar. Serena, liar. Even Nate was hiding something. Chuck was standing by her side and watching her downfall without a word.
''You're lying!'' Blair lunger at her, but Chuck was quick enough to stop her. He circled his hands around her, steering her in a different direction as she struggled with a world crashing over her head.
Her very own friend just let her down in front of whole school, sealing her reputation as a crazy slut. Why would she do that? Wasn't she her friend? Pushing Chuck away and storming through the crowd, she left the scene defeated and miserable.
''Blair,'' His voice followed her through halls. ''Blair, wait.''
Blair didn't want to be here. She wanted to be far away from the mess and chaos. Her pride was trampled. Her virtue was assaulted. Her innocence and dignity destroyed. They all thought she was a whore and a liar.
''What did you tell them about us, Chuck?'' She rapidly turned around, their bodies almost crashing. Her voice was slowly giving in. ''How could you? What happened in auditorium was a game too, right?''
She could feel her eyes watering, but refused to break in her final, probably most important speech. ''A score for you and a gossip for your friends. Are you happy now? Once again you're the talk of the school!''
Chuck knotted his brows and grabbed her elbow. She shook him off, but he seized her again, rougher this time. His voice was low and menacing ''What are you talking about?''
''Everyone is saying how you screwed me, get it?'' She snapped, shaking off his grip and walking away. He called after her, but she refused to turn around.
No boy was going to see her cry. Especially a boy that refused to stand by her side. Blair felt a sudden, sharp pain at the lack of his comfort. It was her own personal utopia completely ruined and demolished. So she walked into the ladies room, took a stall and let tears roll down her flushed cheeks.
Deep down inside, she was crushed. Humiliated. Friendless. Betrayed in most cruel way possible. And worst of all, she had a feeling this was only the beginning.
Doors opened and two girls walked in. She quickly wiped her cheeks, not daring to breathe lest she was discovered.
''Is she really his girlfriend?'' A voice could be heard asking.
''Please,'' Other laughed. ''It's Chuck Bass. Instead of hotel, he took her to auditorium.''
''So it's true they did it?''
''If it wasn't, she wouldn't react like that. She jumped on Serena, you saw.''
''That was fucking epic, actually.'' They both laughed as they exited.
She gathered her wits, washed her face and looked herself in mirror. She stared at her own reflection for few minutes, breathing evenly. She didn't need anyone. She was going to storm this alone.
She was strong. Smart. Resilient.
Blair exhaled and left the restroom. Chuck was leaning on the wall across doors, apparently waiting for her, looking like Adonis himself. She was shocked to see him there after spending so much time in the bathroom, but still purposefully ignored him. The pain was fresh and just seeing his face stung.
''They will be over it in two days,'' He said softly, catching up with her.
''Oh, really?'' She replied with wide eyes, feigning wonder. Blair was irritated at his lack of support and him almost ignoring the matter. ''If you say so. You're the expert.''
''Blair, you have to get used to gossiping. People are going to talk about you,'' He said it matter-of-factly, shrugging his shoulders breezily, as if it didn't even matter.
She glared at him, bewildered at the casual way he spoke. ''She did it. Serena locked the doors and told everyone.''
Chuck rolled his eyes, obviously not buying it. Quite a few people passed them and they all turned their heads to stare.
''Don't you see whole school is staring at us?! Of'course you do, but you don't care. While I'm humiliated to death, you're secretly gloating.''
''Wait,'' He stopped in his tracks, eyes narrowing dangerously. ''You're humiliated and I'm gloating?''
''Yes,'' Her upper lip curled at the lazy way he went about her mortification. She had been crying, and he was telling her to just let it go.
He nodded, jaw clenching.
''Hey, you'' He stopped random group of people that passed them. ''Nothing happened between Blair and me, okay?''
Fairly loudly he added and everyone stopped to listen, ''People, hear me out a moment. Nothing happened between Blair and me. Nothing happened in auditorium. I never touched her. Did everyone hear that? Great.''
Chuck went back to stand beside Blair. Her heart swelled up. She thought she would feel better at this, but his tone of voice stopped the beating of her heart.
''Happy now?'' He snapped, frustration visible on his face.''Everything taken care of?''
Chuck left her and somehow she ended up feeling like a scolded child.
She got home that afternoon with dad and Dan gone to village. Mother seemed deeply distracted, but she put on a brave face.
''Blair, my darling,'' She said with unnatural cheerful voice. ''You got a new dress.''
Blair dropped her coat and she ran into the room. There it was, hung on her closet. White, sparkly and beautiful.
''Jenny's mom sent Diana some outfits. She picked one for herself and one for Georgina. You know your friend hates color white. I said Georgina is not going to want to wear that, but Diana got both the dress and offended at the advice.''
Blair smiled, fingering the luxurious fabric. A wave of giddiness overtook her, but a dark thought lowered down her mood. She couldn't help but to wonder sulkily; Where am I to wear this? She wasn't allowed to go out in clubs. Parents always talked about promiscuity and dangers there.
A shiver ran down her spine as she pictured herself in this dress and in Chuck's lap. She closed the closet doors loudly. ''Where are they going? Some fancy ball?''
''A party at one of Georgina's favorite clubs. Diana's treat. How nasty to think she is trying to buy the kid with money instead of spending some actual time with her. ''
Since dad and Dan were away, mother had to do everything by herself. With many protests, Jane finally succumbed to her daughter's pleads to help out. Blair wheeled out trash can that night to collect it from residents. First stop was Sparks apartment.
''Darling, get the bag please,'' Drawled Diana. Her hair was in up-do, make up more prominent, dress shorter and heels higher.
''Wow,'' Blair breathed in admiration. ''You look nice.''
''Don't ask,'' Diana smiled smugly, waving the compliment away. ''We're going to Tropic, Georgie's favorite club.''
Blair remembered it was one of Bass' clubs.
''We dressed up for Chuck Bass.''
She coughed.
Mrs. Spark misinterpreting it, lowered her voice ''I know. How stupid, right? Her infatuation with him and all. But I don't care, it's completely harmless.''
In that moment Georgina came out the doors and put the bag into the can. She was sporting black strapless dress, cleavage on full display. Her beautiful ivory skin was complimenting diamonds on her neck and arms perfectly. Smoky eye make was flawless, ponytail sleek and elegant.
''What? Georgina screeched, panic on her face. ''I look stupid right? Ugh, I knew I do.''
Blair shook her head. ''No, you look good.''
She was shocked by the change. Georgina usually sported leggings and loose shirts. She could't help but to wonder, what if she met Chuck?
All of a sudden, a wave of jealousy flooded her heart. She imagined thousand scenarios. Why shouldn't he like her? She was beautiful and rich, whereas Blair was poor and just ordinary looking. No expensive makeup, no nice manicure, no shimmering aromatic lotions. She felt depressed.
''Let's go, Georgina,'' Mrs Sparks commanded. ''We'll be late.''
A/N: Thank you thank you guys for warm and lovely welcome. You are amazing! This hiatus should not happen again, I find reward not in my fortunes but misfortunes and am more determined to continue with this story. Let me tell you right now, it will not be a short story. Some of you got the glimpses of my ideas involved with this story and know what I'm talking about. Things will escalate and escalate, there is no antagonist, but merely hero in his own crooked world.
This story is not just glitz and glam because it's all been seen. I wanted to introduce not Humphrey ''poverty'' we saw in tv show, but real hunger, real costs and expenses of New York. So stick around, because what you've seen is nothing. More characters will come, more plots, more affairs, more schemes.
Review review review, I want to talk to you, hear your questions and ideas, let's build something together. Take a break from real world, update will follow soon!