Chapter 21(OB)
The 4 men were named Rubén May, Eugene Stanford, Fred Merlot, and Xander McDonald. Convicted attempted rapists all, Jen could still clearly remember the feel of their filthy fingers forcibly penetrating her vagina!
Just being in the same room as these horrible men made her feel dirty. But these men were clearly starving, and Jen was no murderer. They might not be decent people, but luckily for them, Jen and Seth WERE. As Seth said, "the Renwick's don't let their neighbours starve to death", no matter who they were. That's just what extremely decent people did.
Jen wouldn't be Jen if she didn't show hospitality to guests her husband had invited in for a meal, and she dutifully waited on these men, bringing them food and water. Seth even shared some air with them to breathe during their stay.
The 4 men ate ravenously, clearly starving, and with Seth's permission Jen gave them all as big of a second helping as she and Seth could spare. The men thanked her profusely and did not even lust over her, currently far more interested in food.
Jen then sat down and ate her own meal, being quite hungry herself.
"You are saving our lives Seth, we won't forget this," Rubén promised as he wolfed down the last of his food.
"Yes, we owe you big for this," Xander agreed.
"I was never going to let you guys starve. I'm not that sort of person," Seth said with wary kindness.
"You are the only one who didn't turn us away. After what... after what we did, no one will give us the time of day. Even our former friends cast us out. You are the only one to give us food, we can't even BUY food with money," Eugene admitted.
"That's really rough, I'm sorry to hear that. Don't you have gardens of your own?" Seth asked with surprising kindness.
"We did, but between the 4 of us we ate all our vegetables too fast. Only Fred had enough for himself, but he shared it with us to save our lives," Rubén explained.
"Are you such close friends that you share everything?" Jen asked curiously.
"We weren't as close before, but after the incident with you, we had no other friends, were forced to stick together. No one else will talk to us now," Eugene admitted sadly.
"Well, for what it's worth, I will not turn you away, at least not in this situation." Seth said quietly.
"You are a damn decent person Seth, damn decent," Fred said quietly, the first time he had really spoken.
"I always was, you just wronged my wife and I terribly. We were just minding our own business when you invaded our lives. Just because that happened doesn't change who I am as a person." Seth said calmly.
"We know that we fucked up. All 4 of us have placed orders to get our own wives now. Just waiting for Z8C to come and collect the money. We're sorry for what we did," Rubén offered.
"Well, it's really up to Jen to decide if you are forgiven," Seth replied.
Jen started in surprise and paused as everyone looked at her. Jen considered.
"I, I still remember it all so clearly. You made me feel so dirty and violated when you touched me. You made me live in fear every day, you tormented me with fear and distress. It was not even all that long ago. I am not vindictive by nature, and in time I may forgive you fully, for now I don't hate you men, but I don't trust you either." Jen admitted honestly.
"That's fair, I feel the same. I don't hate you but I definitely have some trust issues about you. Do right by me and I will gradually trust you more," Seth concurred.
The men all murmured agreement at this.
"What happens next?" Xander asked quietly.
"Well, I can't keep on feeding 4 extra mouths indefinitely, the back garden is getting bare. I will beg on your behalf to get other people to help you, at least until your own gardens have time to grow. I'm sorry that I can't do more," Seth said sadly.
"We won't forget this Seth. One day in your own time of need, we will help you just as you helped us," Fred said quietly.
***...
Jen was very relieved when the 4 men left, but also felt intensely proud of Seth for his act of kindness. It was an astonishing act of forgiveness and mercy on Seth's part to share his own rather limited food to help men who ought to be his enemies.
Jen looked at the back garden wretchedly, the plants were disappearing fast. 30 meters by 35 meters was just not big enough to feed 2 people indefinitely. It had to somehow last them until the next wheat harvest in 8 weeks time!
"I know, it's not enough. We will just have to make do somehow. You have the baby so you get first pick of the food. I just couldn't let those guys just starve to death, just a pity you can't use your chemistry know how to somehow make bliss grass edible," Seth said grimly.
"Alcohol..." Jen murmured in sudden inspiration.
"What?" Seth asked.
"I can turn some of the bliss grass into ALCOHOL! I can ferment it! Alcohol provides calories! Your body can survive on it via ketone acidosis!" Jen shouted in sudden excitement.
"You want us to live on alcohol!? But you're pregnant!" Seth exclaimed.
"No no, not ME, YOU can live on mostly alcohol, with far less vegetables needed each day to keep you alive. The vegetables we save would be enough to get me by I think," Jen explained excitedly.
"How can I live on alcohol? It's not food," Seth asked in bewilderment.
"Yes it is food. Have you seen how alcoholics get that distinctive big fat belly? The so called beer gut! It's the alcohol. The human body converts it into fat and stores it! It can't be used for gluconeogenisis to make glucose to fuel your brain, but it CAN be used to make ketone bodies that the brain cells can use for fuel in an emergency! It's the answer!" Jen explained in feverish excitement.
"I didn't understand half of that, what the hell are you talking about?" Seth asked.
"Well, in the biochemistry of human metabolism..." Jen began.
"Ok OK! I will take your word for it, just spare me the chemistry gibberish!" Seth cut her off quickly.
***...
"Please try to be sparing a thought of how much you use, that's worth a fortune!" Seth told her worriedly.
"What's more important husband, a fortune or your life?" Jen asked humbly.
Seth muttered to himself about this, and, after a pause, Jen just kept blending up the priceless bliss grass and pouring it into a plastic bottle to bring home to the gin still.
The bliss grass might contain a little bit of morphine, but it also contained a LOT of plant sugars that alcoholic yeasts would very happily ferment into alcohol. The morphine would regrettably be affected by the fermentation process, but it was the only way to get the raw calories they needed.
Jen had just figured out the solution to save a lot of people from starvation. The people had no food supplies beyond fast vanishing gardens, but they did have HEAPS of bliss grass. By itself bliss grass was not edible to humans, but it WAS edible to alcoholic yeasts, and said yeasts pissed out copious amounts of alcohol as an unwanted metabolic waste product!
Everyone would be drunk as lords, but it would give that extra bit of calories needed to make it to the next grain harvest, assuming that the eldar didn't steal that harvest as well! Jen tried not to think about what would happen if the Eldar raids became a regular feature...
Jen finished blending up the last of the bliss grass, street value many thousands of credits, and poured the sugary liquified mixture into the carry bottles.
"This is enough for the moment, let's go ferment it," Jen said excitedly.
Seth murmured in dismay at all the drugs being wasted, but unhappily agreed and drove her home.
As soon as they got home Jen quickly got yeast mixed in with the liquified grass, and poured the stuff into the gin still. She set up the still next to the window to heat it up in the sun, and waited for the yeast to get fermenting.
It only took a few hours to get some gin flowing out, the yeast seemed very partial to bliss grass. Jen triumphantly presented Seth with the first cup of alcohol.
Seth was still unhappy about the lost bliss grass, but did resignedly take the proffered cup of distilled gin.
"Bottoms up," Seth sighed and drank it all.
"How is it?" Jen asked curiously.
"Same as normal gin, I can't even tell the difference. I will be drunk as shit at this rate," Seth said, already sounding slightly tipsy from the large cup of pure alcohol.
Jen nodded encouragingly.
Jen would not be drinking any alcohol, merely eating almost all of the vegetables by herself. The garden would go a lot further with just one person to feed. Seth would get just enough vegetables to give him some essential nutrients to live on, and rely on alcohol as his "dietary staple".
It would not do Seth's health any good, might even shorten his life considerably in the long term, but when the alternative was starving to death a month from now, they had little choice.
Jen immediately got on the radio and told everyone she knew to ferment "you know, THAT type of grass crop", explaining that it would keep them from starving to death. The various people were reluctant, but so hungry that they agreed to try it.
This might just save a lot of lives!
***...
"I think, hick, I think I might be drunk," Z8C slurred over the radio.
"I, hick, I'm drunk TOO!" Seth was slurring back.
Jen sighed.
Jen's idea had been a great success, and quickly been shared by radio to everyone their friends knew. The governor had soon learned about it, and publicly urged all citizens to ferment "you know" grass in stills to escape starvation.
The eldar pirates had completely no interest in cargos of bliss grass it seemed, as it wasn't food in and of itself, and boats and ships were openly exporting it into the towns to break the famines. These people might not be starving anymore, but they certainly were DRUNK!
Jen no longer knew if the eldar were even still raiding the place, everyone was too blind drunk to get a straight answer over the radio! Jen was probably one of the only sober people left on the planet right now!
She shuddered to think of all the people operating boats and other vehicles while this drunk! They were SO drunk that "drunk" did not really do it justice, it needed a new word to describe THIS level of inebriated!
"I love you Z8C," Seth slurred into the microphone of the radio.
Jen frowned slightly.
Seth had been professing love to everything from Jen to his own quad bike. She had heard such slurring professions as, "I love you toilet bucket. For twenty years I poop in you. I don't thank you enough. You are an awesome toilet bucket."
"I, hick, I LIKE you Seth, hick, but not in THAT sort of way, sorry, hick," Z8C slurred back over the radio.
"It's ok, I don't wanna like, be homo with you, hick, just a friendly love," Seth slurred back.
Seth then vomited inside his air mask...
Jen dutifully cleaned Seth up, and got him to drink some water. His puke had chunks of stomach lining in it, which Seth had mistaken for carrot chunks.
"But I didn't EAT carrots!" Seth slurred insistently.
"It's not carrot husband, carrot would all be chewed up, not chunks like this. It's a common misconception. Those orange chunks are part of the stomach lining, broken down by the alcohol. Every time in your life when you have thought you saw carrot in your vomit, you were really looking at your damaged stomach lining." Jen explained gently.
"Is, hick, is that bad?" Seth asked drunkenly.
"It's certainly not doing your stomach any favours, this level of alcohol consumption causes long term health problems. Your stomach, liver, kidneys and brain are all being affected by this, as are many other body systems. If the alternative wasn't starving, it would be prudent to immediately stop drinking alcohol before it causes any more long term damage," Jen explained gravely.
"I thought drinking wine is good?" Seth slurred.
"This isn't wine, and that myth is not true husband. Certain wines do have some very small health benefits, but only because grape juice causes those benefits. The alcohol in the wine causes so many other problems that it's not worth the tiny benefits. It would be far better to just drink grape juice without the alcoholic fermentation," Jen very respectfully explained.
"But, but, but EVERYONE knows that wine is good for you!" Seth drunkly insisted.
"Wishful thinking of moderate alcoholics I'm afraid husband, drinking a wine each day might be slightly preferable to drinking a gin each day, but it will still shorten your life by years compared to a non drinker. Even if it were true that wine is good for you, this here is gin not wine," Jen humbly pointed out.
"You are so smart, hick, I love you," Seth slurred at her.
"I love you too husband," Jen said with a happy smile.
Seth then flopped down out of his seat, and passed out in a puddle of yet more vomit on the floor...
***...
"Husband, please put the manure over here," Jen humbly directed the utterly drunk Seth.
It had been weeks now, and people were starting to die from alcohol poisoning all over the planet. This situation was fast becoming desperate.
The Eldar were STILL raiding the planet. Some of the farms in the area had had extremely staggered wheat growing times, and had had some desperately needed harvests of wheat. The Eldar had then appeared out of the air around their damn structures, and immediately stolen the entire harvests!
The eldar were even stealing harvested vegetables now, making off with pumpkins and other large and easily carried fruits and vegetables! Even the less easily harvested vegetables were starting to get stolen now as the eldar found less and less other foods left to steal. The only things that were safe now was plants like yap-yap that were safe for humans to eat but deadly poisonous to eldar.
Thank the Emperor for different biochemistries!
Just as chocolate was perfectly safe for humans to eat, but toxic to dogs, eating yap-yap killed eldar dead, but gave humans nothing worse than bad flatulence. Yap-yap contained a pigment chemical, a slight variation of common beta-carotene, just with a perfectly harmless methyl side chain in place of a hydrogen on one of the carbons in the beta-carotene. With this one innocent little methyl side chain, the beta-carotene became an eldar liver's worst nightmare!
There was enough of this slightly different type of beta-carotene in a single small yap-yap plant to make an adult eldar need an immediate liver transplant, whereas the human liver didn't even blink at this type of beta-carotene! Jen knew this because Wsuioo had been deliberately growing the stuff for 30 years to spite the eldar crop thieves, and had genetically engineered their other crops to produce this type of beta-carotene, and dared the eldar to steal it. The eldar now no longer stole Wsuioo's crops, not after last time...
The eldar corsairs had not touched the yap-yap on 1D8V-44, not even touched it's leaves with their gloved hands lest some accidental hand to mouth transmission poisoned them! The humans of 1D8V-44 were now very motivated to grow as much yap-yap as possible!
1D8V-44 governor Jacob Stone had drunkenly addressed his subjects over the radio a few days ago, and declared that yap-yap was now the "national crop" of 1D8V-44, not counting bliss grass of course, and had implored everyone to grow as much yap-yap as possible, explaining that it killed eldar who ate it.
The citizens of 1D8V-44 were all too happy to oblige, and were even deliberately rubbing yap-yap juice on other crops to give the eldar corsairs a rotten time in intensive care if they ate them. The eldar were currently about as popular on 1D8V-44 as a woman's lib proponent at a Wsuian wives convention, and the citizens were eager to get some gastronomic vengeance on these rotten xenos filth!
So Jen and Seth, and everyone else who had the strength to work, were creating new fields of nothing but yap-yap. Or at least trying to, given how drunk most people were...
It was far from the best season for growing new yap-yap, the morning frosts in particular were bad for growth, but it would still grow in this season, just very poorly. To give it the best possible chance, they were using all the bags of manure they could find, to let the "blessings" of Terra divinely favour the crops with good growth.
Jen personally doubted that those bags of shit were any different from any other shit in the galaxy, but she knew better than to openly voice this opinion. Jen was herself superstitious enough to think that MAYBE, just MAYBE it could work. At any rate it certainly couldn't hurt to add the extra fertiliser.
Getting the blind drunk Seth to put it in the right place was a problem however...
"No husband, it needs to go over here," Jen asked humbly.
Seth responded by throwing up all over the new field. Jen shrugged, stomach lining could be fertiliser too, right?
***...
Jen wept in relief as Seth was finally able to stop drinking the horrid alcohol. He was lucky to still have a liver left!
In front of him was a plateful of reddish green bits of freshly boiled yap-yap. After several more weeks of daily alcohol poisoning, the yap-yap was finally big enough to start eating some of it.
It was a bizarrely reddish green plant, not a blend of the colours as that was impossible, but rather brilliant red all over but covered with thousands of little green photosynthetic freckles all over the leaves, the red colour coming from the rich eldar killing beta-carotene pigments. It had a tall bright red flower stalk when mature, but at this young age it was not yet ready to flower. When not flowering, it comprised of stiff but slightly floppy reddish green leaves, sort of like spinach leaves in texture, but far larger, almost as big as dinner plates when mature.
At this early stage the leaves were barely the size of table spoons, but Jen had still plucked little bits of leaf from each plant in the field, collectively getting enough to feed her and Seth together, but still letting the plants keep growing.
Yap-yap leaves were edible, at least to humans, but needed to be cooked first to unlock the nutrients. It could be baked, boiled, steamed, fried, roasted, anything really, and tasted sort of like very rich celery, a very very strong flavour that took some getting used to. It had comparable calories per gram as spinach, not easy to get fat on but perfectly adequate to keep you alive.
Seth was looking at the "greens" miserably, he hated the taste of yap-yap. Jen gestured at him encouragingly.
Seth sighed and started eating. Jen sighed in relief and started eating her own plate of yap-yap.
Jen winced slightly at the intensely strong taste, the pungent plant sedanolide and esters giving it a quite overpowering flavour that made the eyes water slightly. The only reason Seth had originally grown the stuff was because it's blend of green and red sent the orbiting satellite sensors haywire with error readings. It really was hard to stomach when not mixed in with a lot of other foods to balance out the flavour.
Jen heard the sound of an eldar wave serpent fly overhead outside, and smirked. Good luck finding anything to eat besides yap-yap you pests!
***...