Chapter Fifteen
Today
Penelope stood in front of the large mirror, dressing herself with rush. She pulled on her green patterned blouse over favorite pink lacy bra. She thought today was special occasion, a day she would never forget. Today was the day she got her payback.
Nate walked out from the bathroom, red towel around his hips, hair dripping wet. She hated the way he jumped to shower immediately after sex, as if they did something dirty that had to be scrubbed off. Penelope couldn't help but to eye his body, thinking how she'd well go for round two. But not today.
''You're already dressed?'' He asked shocked. It was always him who had to drag her out of the bed, who nagged her to get a cab. She always wanted to stay longer, to go out for a meal together, to watch a movie. Nate never let her stay that much.
''I'm not staying,'' She replied, zipping up her skirt. She caught up with him after class and as per usual, few words were enough to make a deal. He would wait for her in limo few blocks away, fearing someone would discover their thing they had. ''Are you going to look at me before I go this time?''
Nate rolled his eyes. She always did this, always begged for more, always tried to make something out of nothing. And he told her right at the beginning, he told her there was nothing between them. He told her it would be just sex. Though she said yes, she never failed to ask for more. This time was different, she was dressed before he even showered.
Someone rang the bell. Nate got up to check out who it was.
''It's Serena,'' He whispered, panic in his eyes. Penelope bit her lip, hating how he always looked around that girl. But that was then. Today was different. Today was the day of the change. Today, she didn't care. Penelope quickly picked up her heels and bag off the floor and quietly locked herself in his bathroom.
Nate threw a pair of sweat pants and a polo shirt over head, the collar wet with hair. He inhaled deeply and opened the doors.
''Where were we?'' Serena smiled broadly, her golden hair braided. ''I believe this is the place where I saw that stick last time.''
She rushed to bedroom and he rushed after her. ''Oh, yeah. I'm gazing at it lovingly every night before I go to sleep.''
''What's this?'' She laughed out loud. His friend eyed the messy sheets, which were still warm. Despite the smile, her eyes were tense, her hands on hips. ''A guest I know?''
''Serena...''
''Give me back what's mine,'' She interrupted, not wanting to hear the answer.
''Yeah, sure.'' Nate shook his head and walked over to night table. He leaned down and took the stick, dangling it on his finger. He had to be careful about his words. Penelope was the last person that needed to know about this mess. ''This is getting really annoying.''
''Fine, give it to me then.''
''Go. I'll think about it'' He chided, wanting her to leave as soon as possible. His heart beat violently, not wanting her to find out about Penelope in the bathroom. He didn't want her to know, he wouldn't be able to explain. He didn't want to hurt her. Would it hurt her? At the times, she seemed so involved with Chuck that he was sure she completely forgot about him.
He didn't want her to know his dirty secret. On the other hand, he'd cherish hers. ''If I decide your intentions are good, I'll give it to you.''
Serena seemed to consider these words. ''Fine. Fair enough. But know that this is ruining our friendship.''
She turned around on her heels. Nate frustratingly threw the damned thing on the bed. After Serena left, he exhaled heavily, his heart unsettled. ''You can come out, she's gone.''
Penelope slowly walked out from hiding place, fully dressed and her make up fixed. ''What did she want?''
''None of your business,'' He muttered, already irritated with her over-stay. He looked at her. She filled his lonely days, his empty lonely hours yet he couldn't bear to manage two sentences with her without rolling his eyes. He knew he was being unfair, but she knew what she consented to. He made it clear there would never be anything more than just casual sex. ''I'll get you a cab.''
He went into the kitchen to grab his phone. Penelope followed his steps with narrowed eyes, casually throwing her blazer over the stick on bed. When he was gone, she grabbed it and shoved it in her bag. ''No need, I'll just hail one on the street.''
She rushed out of the apartment. It's not like they ever kissed goodbye or anything. She decided to skip the awkward post sex wave and jumped into the elevator. Her heart was beating violently. Today was the day. Today was the day she would finally get what she wanted. And she did it all by herself. Penelope used the back door that led to parking. There was a limo waiting and she looked around, in case anyone saw her getting in.
''Did you get it?'' Asked Serena as the newcomer closed the doors of the limo. Penelope felt the trill of the scheme, she felt the thrill of finally being accepted. The it group always ignored her and now their leader finally spread her arms wide open in welcome. For the price, of'course.
Serena accepted the stick. She tightly gripped it in her fist and breathed a sigh of relief.
''See you at lunch tomorrow?'' Penelope asked gingerly, testing the waters. She wanted to see if the scheme was done, if the blond would hold her end of the bargain.
''Of'course,'' Serena replied distractedly, as if she currently had other more important things on her mind.
Serena walked into her bedroom and spotted new cleaner dusting the TV. ''You're not done yet?'' She asked casually, throwing her bag on the bed.
''Almost, miss. I just have your bathroom left,'' Jane explained, picking up her mop and going towards en suite bathroom. Serena nodded and plugged the stick into plasma TV port. She wanted to see this movie, she wanted to see what was on the plate. She waited too long for it. Pressing play, she sat back on the bed and stared at it.
She rewound boring parts and pressed play at the sight of Carter. Something bad gnawed at her insides. Sour terror filled her chest and she pressed rewind again until she saw Blair's face. This was when stuff went down. She once again watched Blair dancing wildly, completely drugged and oblivious to everything. Only this time, she felt bad.
She felt regret.
What Serena failed to notice was her cleaner standing next to her, staring at the screen with horror-stricken face; watching as her own daughter, wearing Georgina's dress, acting the way she never in billion years would imagine Blair would.
Chuck plunked on sofa at Bass penthouse, sighing heavily. Maid brought him bottle of scotch and a glass, but it lay untouched on the shiny surface of a coffee table. He felt like he could breathe easier, there was nothing weighing him down. Finally, he got it right with her. Finally, Blair let him in. He was so persistent, he wouldn't give up on her and it payed off. Even though he couldn't find her after class, he knew she was his. Their kiss told him enough.
Nothing else mattered. Nobody else.
He took the magazine from the stack and flipped through it, without actually reading anything. Chuck even went to visit Mother after classes. He usually avoided the place, in case he came across her husband - Chuck disliked the guy. And the guy clearly disliked Chuck. Thankfully, he wasn't there so he could have quiet lunch with Evelyn. Evelyn noticed change in her son immediately.
''What's going on with you?'' She asked gently, putting his face in her soft palms. She always smelled like sandalwood. It was one of the times she was flooded with motherhood and parental love.
Evelyn ex Bass was not an ideal mother. She was a hard woman, demanding and stubborn with selfishness installed in her breeding that she refused to let go even at this age. What with leaving her family and spending majority of time post divorce with her new partner traveling around the world, one couldn't say she deserved the Mother of the year award.
Other times, she would find herself fully committed to Chuck, looking him with all the love she could muster and brushing hair from his face like he's seen Lilly do to Serena million times. That were the times he chose to remember, that was the Mother he chose to have.
''It's nothing,'' He quietly said, looking down on his plate of salmon. Evelyn stopped inquiring about girlfriends long time ago. It was the day when she realized, with a twitch in her eye, that her son was too much like his father. She made up with the fact that he'd probably never commit himself to anyone seriously. She left the Bass empire of debauchery and emotional instability willingly, never wanting to look back. With a pang in her heart, she then wished she had a daughter.
''Bring her to lunch sometimes,'' She murmured, pulling back her hands. Any girl that was able to occupy Chuck's mind even for a split second, was worth meeting.
Bass apartment didn't have the warm homely atmosphere Mother's place had. It was bachelor apartment, minimalistic and modern. Simple furniture, metallic decorations. No pictures, no decorations that reasoned of past. Chuck flipped through pages of a magazine and pulled short on a page six, picture of Bart Bass looking at him sternly. There was a whole article spreading over two full pages. Besides that picture, there were images of Tropic, most popular club in Manhattan, and one sneaky picture of Chuck. He hated looking at himself in papers, as if he was an animal in zoo - there to be gawked at.
''You're lagging behind,'' Said the hard voice of his father. Chuck looked up, not even aware Bart just walked in with one of the girls Chuck's age under his arm. The girl was in shamefully short sequin dress, her cleavage on full display. ''That paper was published long time ago.''
Bart sat down next to him, the girl left standing in the middle of living room as some sort of post-modern statue of life wasted away. Father put his hand on Chuck's shoulder in condescending manner. Chuck stiffened under the rare occasion of his touch. ''Father, you're hard to keep up with.''
''What did you think of the article?''
''I'm amazed,'' Chuck said ironically, gazing down at the magazine. ''But your reputation will over-shadow Tropic.''
''Tropic maybe,'' scoffed Bart, firing back with snide. ''But not you.''
Father grabbed two glasses and filled them with scotch. He walked over to the girl and handed her one. ''I'm promoting my heir and my empire. But Chuck isn't pleased, as you see.'' He hugged the girl's waist and they laughed.
Chuck's eyes flashed, his annoyance brimming over already. He never bothered with being called an heir, but something about today told him he had a problem with it. ''Why don't you call it a night club, like normal people do? And call me your son, instead of an heir.''
Bart froze, shooting daggers at Chuck. He looked at him long and hard before turning over to the girl with cruel smirk ''Mother's son.''
''Damn right,'' Chuck heard himself whisper, but it didn't reach them. He knew Evelyn was against all of this, she never hid her displeasure and repulsion. He was torn between mother's love and father's approval. After all these years, it still took a toll on him. Chuck dropped the paper on the table loudly and left the room.
Blair breezed through her shift at the hotel with radiance and smile on her face. Not even rude customers could put her off, not even head waiter John could tear down her good mood. She saw the hotel in new light. Something about today changed everything. Hotel was beautiful, the staff was amazing, even the view at the ocean was captivating. She found herself longingly looking at the blue vastness, touching her lips at the remembrance of this morning.
They could barely be parted. He wouldn't let her go. She kissed Chuck once more before running off to class. After the classes, she ran off to hotel and now she was cooking dinner at home. Life was complicated, but utterly worth of it.
Only, sometimes it wasn't. Old fears clawed at her insides. She'd grip her chest at the overwhelming panic and fright. Dad started working as night taxi driver. Even with his daily job as concierge, this was too much. New York was not safe, mother kept nagging him to quit it before any trouble found them. Bob was stubborn. He was intent on repaying the debt Dan loaded them with.
Dan... Dan would disappear in morning before she woke up and come home late at night. Sometimes he would even come drunk. She'd find pieces of papers with his scribbled poems. They were filled with pain, with rejection. She didn't dare read them again.
And all those lies. All those lies she uttered to Chuck. They were the biggest demon in her body. How was she ever going to get out of that mud she created? It was like a quicksand. The deeper she fell in love with him, the deeper she fell into her doom.
She heard door being opened and mother's footsteps hurrying insides.
''You,'' Jane came into view, her hair disheveled as if she'd been running, her face consorted into angry grimace. ''What did you do?''
Blair stiffened at the voice so feral she never heard it coming from her own mother. Jane grabbed her shoulders as if taking a good look at her, breathing heavily. She suddenly raised her arm and her palm landed on Blair's cheek. ''What did you do? Do you hear me?!''
Another slap. Blair tried to shake her off and lifted her arms in defense. Mother's slaps were not as harmful as her voice, the anger, the tears she was obviously holding. ''Why did you put on that dress? Did you think you were something special?''
Blair finally pushed her away and she stared at her, bewildered. ''Stop it! What did I do?!''
Jane's eyes were red and furious, her mouth pressed together so hard they went white. ''Why do I pamper you so much? Why?! Damn you! I defended you from dad and Dan! Why!?''
''Why? So you can take the bad path? No!'' Another wave of slaps came, but Blair didn't feel them. Panic in her chest numbed her, she still held arms above her head but everything else was limp. What did mother know? She'd always been there for her and obviously something happened that changed everything. Mother was severely against beatings, hating even to spank a child. Today, for some reason, she went against everything. ''I wanted you to educate yourself! I wanted you to become a proper woman! You think you'll mature that way? You'll think you'll become something?''
Mother's voice thundered across the small flat, face flushed, eyes glazed with tears. ''By being a whore?!''
''What did I do?'' Blair whispered, her voice hoarse. She wasn't scared of mother's fury, she was scared of disappointing her.
''You even dare ask,'' Jane cried out, her voice cracking at the end. She grabbed Blair's shoulders and shook her violently. ''You lied to me! You said you were going to Georgina and where did you go? Who did you sleep with, you stupid child! Where were you and with whom?!''
''I didn't do anything,'' Blair's voice now full on trembling.
''I don't trust you,'' Jane's words were like a blade in her heart. Mother didn't trust her. Jane grabbed her elbow and forced her into her bedroom, slamming doors behind. Blair was pushed on the bed and Jane started to force her clothes off her, starting with her jacket. ''I'll check you out from head to toe!''
Blair tried to fight mom's hands off ''Let me go! I didn't sleep with anyone!''
Mother's voice was dropped in a whisper, her eyes flashing lightnings. ''You think you'll get out of the house that way? Walking out in an expensive dress? Is that the way to become a woman?''
Blair covered her chest, shivering in tank top. There was something in the words that got through to her, something that made her guts sick, something that made her mind spin.
''You can only become their toy,'' She whispered ominously, leaning her face towards her. ''When you're not wanted anymore, they'll kick you away like a dirty rag. You'll be trash! Trash!''
Blair shook violently, as if the words were whiplash against her flesh. She clenched her fists and snatched the jacket out of mother's grasp. She couldn't bear to listen to this anymore. She willed herself to think about Chuck and the way he made her feel, like she was the only girl in the world. That was real. This wasn't. ''Enough. Enough!''
There was a sound of door slamming and footsteps across the kitchen. ''Blair?'' Dan said, his voice annoyed. ''What's up? What's the ruckus about?''
Jane straightened out her hair and her whole expression changed. She gave Blair her jacket back and cleared her throat. She forced her voice to be cheery. ''Dan, you came!''
In the bedroom walked in Dan, looking at them with a suspicious look. ''What are you yelling at mom for?''
Blair looked him straight in the eyes, zipping up her jacket and warming up her hands.
''Oh, she's not,'' Calmly replied Jane. ''I lost her notebook. I was stupid enough to throw in into trash.''
Next morning, they were all having early breakfast. Dan was already gone, dad took off to work. Blair was left with Jane. Mother kept avoiding her eyes, her face frozen in a frown.
''Mom,'' She said, intercepting her in the kitchen. ''Mom, let's talk about it.''
Blair couldn't sleep last night. Mother had never been so angry with her. Blair was always her precious, her beauty and now she realized her betrayal. It was something Blair wouldn't like to go through again. She decided to fix it as soon as possible.
Jane got up from the table and started collecting dishes. She was quiet for several moments. ''I've taught you nothing. Nothing. You misunderstood everything.''
Her face flashed again with disappointment and Blair's heart constricted. She bit her lip until she tasted blood in her mouth. ''Mom, that night... I went to a party my colleagues hosted. I wanted to show them I can look like them... But I realized that I couldn't.''
She knew the only way back to her mother's grace was if she opened up her heart. Jane only wanted honesty, nothing else. And now, Blair would give her as much honesty as she was capable to take.
''That night when you said you'll be at Georgina's? Where did you sleep?''
''At this girl's place... She's my colleague. But I swear I didn't do what you think I did. I didn't do anything bad.''
Jane nodded, her face softening. She believed her daughter. ''And those flowers... Were they given to you by that boy from the hospital? That prince whose pictures Georgina keeps looking at?''
Blair's eyes widened. She stood shocked and amazed how cunning her mother was. What else did she know about? ''How do you know all of this?''
''Mothers know even when their children are quiet,'' Jane whispered. She cocked her head, sighing heavily. '' Listen, pumpkin.''
Blair's heart melted at the nickname her mother used for her. It was a sign she forgave her. At least partly.
''I'm not forbidding you to be in love. It's not that I don't want you to be happy. But don't let it get to your head. Don't forget who you are and where you come from. ''
Blair sighed in relief as mother hugged her and she went to get ready for class. She dressed herself with care and hurry. Mother just gave her permission. She said she wanted her to be in love and Blair embraced it whole heartedly. She wanted to see Chuck today, but she did wonder who'd make the first step? Was she supposed to kiss him if she saw him? Peck him? Hug him? High five him? Butterflies in her stomach fluttered as she remembered yesterday's kiss.
Fifteen minutes later, Blair went out of the building and up the street towards bus stop. As she rounded the corner, she spotted a limo. Her heart sped up. Was it Chuck? Well, it was New York and this was Upper East Side. There were hundreds of limos, she concluded with a frown. As she passed it with high head, window rolled down and Chuck's handsome face peered at her.
''Need a ride?'' He smirked, his voice husky.
Her whole body filled with excitement at the sight of him. He was waiting for her. It was as if she wasn't herself with him, as if some other Blair took over when he looked at her. She realized she liked that Blair.
Driver came, opening the doors for her. Chuck moved to make place and she slid in, smelling the leather and his aftershave. From today, she decided it was her favorite smell. He fluttered his eyelashes at her, ''I wouldn't have caught you if you hailed a cab. You have no choice again.''
She shrugged her shoulders, the sound of partition rising sending shivers down her spine. ''I'm used to it.''
She bit her lip and he glanced at it, his eyes flashing with that hunger she was so easily lured by. Blair tried to keep her distance from him, but it was impossible. She couldn't find a reason why should she. There was a current between them, drawing them together. They couldn't resist it.
''Good,'' He whispered and leaned in, lightly tracing his lips across her cheek. ''Sadly, you disappeared on me yesterday. I've been waiting all day to do this.'' She opened up her mouth and their lips met in at first shy, then passionate kiss. It was hard to resist his searching lips. She found herself drunk on them, being able to do anything for just one more.
The ride to school was too short for her liking. When she was with him, time flew by. The limo stopped and she found herself straddling his lap, her arms around his neck, his lips on her neck.
''That's it,'' He said breathlessly, fixing the blue bow on his neck. ''We're riding to school together every day. And we're taking the longer route.''
Blair chuckled under her breath and sat back on the seat, smoothing down her skirt. She never felt this attracted to anyone. Nobody in her life managed to spin her mind like he did.
''Give me a minute,'' She pulled out a compact mirror. She never felt so good in her life. There was something about Chuck that kept drawing her to him. She found herself wanting more of him, wanting all of him. Mother's words were already forgotten, her whole life before him erased and drowned in sea of oblivion.
''You look perfect,'' He assured her, giving her knee a squeeze.
That one touch was enough to spark everything again. Their eyes met, hunger mirroring each other.
''We'll be late to class,'' She warned, gathering all of her self-discipline to look away from him. Her eyes landed on the mirror and she was astounded to find herself looking so... alive. Blair smoothed down her hair and fixed her lipstick. Chuck opened the limo doors for her and she took his outstretched palm.
She looked at the building swarming with students, a nervous feeling in her chest. This was it, the day everyone would know they are together. Just another round of whispers and stares, of gossip and lies. Chuck squeezed her hand and she looked up at him. All of a sudden, it all seemed so trivial. Everything beside him faded and she found herself taking the first step. Hand in hand, they walked towards the Constance.
A/N: Some of you have said how they'd like Chuck to find out about Serena drugging Blair (before they kissed). But I wanted Chair to become one without that happening (Yet?), because this way they put aside all pride, faults and lies for each other. This way, they gave up everything for one kiss, despite the chaos that surrounds them.