Chapter Seventeen
Chasing Pavements
Monsters are real, and ghost are too. They live inside of us
and sometimes they win.
Blair was overrun with classes and assignments. It was Friday with an atmosphere and pressure of a Monday. Curriculum was getting more vigorous with each week. That only meant more parties and tea parties held by TFB.
Chuck picked her up in the morning as usual and she spent the whole ride finishing up notes on extra credit task. She only had time to plant a swift peck on his cheek before dashing off to class. Her break was spent bickering with half the team with whom she worked on an Economic project. The other half didn't even bother to show up.
Final class wrapped up at last, but professor Jones decided to pull Blair aside. She shifted her foot restlessly as he reviewed her latest assignment. The classroom emptied out in a minute. All praise came up deaf to her ears, she was too busy stressing if she'd make the bus to hotel. Blair had to do long shift today, headwaiter John was clear on criticality of being punctual.
Professor Jones finally released her out of the grasp and she bolted out the doors waving goodbye, and nearly knocked right into Serena.
''Woah,'' Blond gripped her shoulders for support. ''Where's the fire?''
''Sorry,'' Blair crouched down to pick up her fallen purse. ''I have to run.''
''You're not gonna wait for Chuck?'' Serena asked with raised eyebrows. Chuck and Blair always left the campus together, her boyfriend insisting on giving her a ride. ''He's talking to Professor Martha. Should be here soon.''
''I'll call him later,'' She brushed off the question, stifling down the guilt.
''Are you going home?''
''Of'course, where else?'' Blair smiled tightly. ''Happy birthday, Serena.''
With that, she dashed off. Serena followed the petite brunette with her green orbs, wheels in her mind spinning. She felt a tingle in her lower back and after a moment, warm breath on her neck.
''That Martha is really scrubbing Chuck,'' Nate commented, peculiar look on his face. Serena stiffened at his presence, her mind going blank momentarily. She didn't even turn around, but nodded and rocketed away.
''Where you off to?'' He shouted, shocked and disappointed at her sudden departure.
''I have some stuff to do,'' She shouted back. ''See you tonight at my party!''
Blair threw her hands in the air with desperation as the bus sped by. She looked at the dust of the wheels they left in wake, feeling irritated and frustrated as the vehicle grew tinier by the distance. She was tired, classes drained her out yet she had to go and flawlessly do the shift at hotel. Another bus wouldn't come in another 20 minutes. By then - she'd be dangerously close to losing her much needed job. Her phone rang.
''Are you finished with classes?'' Chuck said on the other line. He sounded down, as if whatever professor Martha said, was definitely not good.
''Yeah, I'm out already.'' She closed her eyes, tasting his need on her tongue.
''Already?'' He repeated, somehow distant.
''Listen,'' She bit her cheek painfully, trying to distract herself from the pain that seared her chest. What she wanted to do was comfort him and listen to whatever he had to say. She didn't want to lie to him anymore.
But she'd be done with hotel job soon and they would have more time to spend together. Right now, she was stretching herself as thin as she could. ''My battery is almost drained. I'll call you later. Okay?''
There was a silence on the other line. Finally, after few moments, his voice was cold. ''Okay.''
Before she could say anything else, Chuck hung up. Blair groaned, shoving phone in her worn out Coach purse Georgina wore back in elementary school.
Frowning, she counted the few measly dollar bills she had in tattered wallet. They were tips of previous week that had been safe-kept for an emergency. Blair hailed a cab. She got in, giving the address of Millennium hotel.
''Follow that cab,'' Ordered Serena to her chauffeur. As Blair sped through busy and crowded Manhattan streets, she didn't notice the limo tailing the taxi.
Serena followed Blair all the way to Millennium hotel. She eyed the glorious building with a skeptic look. ''You're going home?'' She muttered to herself, shaking her head in disappointment. She knew brunette was lying about something and she finally managed to dig out some proof of it. Blair was always mysterious, reserved, closed off. She looked like trouble.
''God forbid if I let you hurt Chuck,'' Blond whispered, intent on catching Blair in indiscriminating act. She got out of the car and followed her inside, keeping some distance between them. This hotel must be some kind of love nest of hers. It was a luxurious, but clever choice. There were no young people, not anyone they would know. Guests were middle aged, older businessmen and diplomats.
Blair'd been practically avoiding Chuck ever since they got together. Could it be that she only wanted the glory and fame that the title of Chuck's girlfriend brought? It had happened before. Parading around with him in front of whole Constance, loving his money and his reputation instead of the real deal.
Instead of going up to rooms, Serena was surprised to see her going straight to hotel restaurant and bar. A private lunch with a secret lover? Blond watched all the high society people bustling about, searching for a familiar head in the midst of it. After finally losing Blair in crowd, she turned around to go. Defeated, but with enough information to confront the liar.
She almost left the restaurant when an unfamiliar commanding voice rang through room, ''Blair, hurry!''
Serena froze and whipped her head around, blanching at the sight of Blair in hotel staff uniform - black slacks, black tie, white shirt. She even had a name tag. Blair was juggling the tray and paper block. Serena would have laughed, had the person she was hurting been anyone else than Chuck. Hiding in the shadows, she watched the girlfriend of great Chuck Bass scurry from table to table and take orders.
''Birthday party in a hotel?'' Paige droned few hours later, sitting crossed legged in Millennium lobby. Her cocktail dress was filled with sequins, reflecting all the lights of the room like a sprinkle of tiny rainbows. ''How ancient. So five years ago.''
Nate paced the lobby, excitement surging through his veins at the thought of showing his present to Serena. She would love it. After making a drunk slip-up last night with Chuck and letting him in on his secret, Nate felt lighter. That still didn't stop him for calling his best friend early in the morning when he sobered up enough to know what a stupid mistake he'd done. Chuck was a true friend, he pretended like nothing ever happened. ''Let's go inside.''
''Not until Chuck gets here,'' Serena declared firmly. Her posture was relaxed in little black dress with completely lacy back. Hot pink 6 inch platform heels clashed perfectly with the color of lipstick. Chuck was late, as per usual. But she didn't mind. Tonight, things would be finally as they used to be. Chuck would once again be her best friend, not someone else's boyfriend. ''We will all celebrate together.''
The wolf himself walked in wearing gray pinstripe suit and lavender shirt underneath, mint bow on his neck. ''A waiting board?'' He asked with raised eyebrows, looking at the group of his friends, all rising as he approached. ''And I'm not even the birthday boy.''
''Serena forgot that little detail,'' Nate rolled his eyes.
Birthday girl flashed them a thousand wattage smile and put her arm under Chuck's. A hostess led the group to the restaurant, Nate and Paige trailing behind.
Blair caught herself staring at the view outside hotel. The sea was as dark as the night, city lights reflecting like stars on the wavy surface. Once again, she closed her eyes and imagined she was one of the guests here - having romantic dinner with Chuck. The soft music of jazz played in the background, candles flickering on the table. Her heart fluttered pleasantly at the handsome image of him, but the spell was soon broken with harsh tone of headwaiter John.
''Blair,'' He barked, shaking off the daze. She quickly busied her hands, continuing to arrange glasses on the tray, just what she was doing before drifting off. She was exhausted and couldn't wait to crash into bed once she got home. God knew when that would be. ''You're in charge of the birthday table.''
She nodded and turned around to table that was reserved in last minute. Blair's heart froze and the sight of main players of TFB group. Serena's eyes focused on her, not a hint of surprise in them. ''Blair?!''
Three more heads whipped in her direction at the sound of that name and she could feel her blood turning cold. She didn't want to, but some higher power forced her to meet Chuck's stunned face. She could feel her face going red, her ears growing hot, while his skin completely lost color. Blair imagined if she was naked, she would be less horrified than now.
''Blair?'' He mouthed, still reeling in that state of dead shock.
I am done, she thought to herself, feeling her hands and whole body start to tremble. This was not happening, this was not happening, this was not happening. She would have to tell everything now. They would find out she was poor and worse - a liar. They could maybe forgive her lack of prestige, but never the lies and the fact that she was fooling them for months.
Chuck would never look at her again. She would break his heart. And her own along with it.
Someone brushed her back from behind and she could hear headwaiter John ushering some more guests.
''This is a joke, right?'' Paige laughed, her eyes darting back and forth.
''Blair?'' Serena cocked her head, her eyes demanding explanation. ''What are you doing here?''
There was an intense silence as the group waited her answer. She didn't have any. They just found supposedly rich and wealthy Blair waitering tables in a restaurant. What could be possible explanation for that? Just as she considered bolting through the doors, a booming voice interrupted the murmur of the restaurant.
''Darling guests,'' Said a feminine voice. It was a jazz singer, woman with admirable curves, clad in long red satin dress. White fur enveloped her neck and forearms, luscious platinum blond curls swept on one side of her head. ''This next song is dedicated to owners of the hotel and their wedding anniversary. Congratulations, George and Diana.''
There was a polite clap and everyone turned to look at Mrs Sparks, Blair's neighbor and patroness. Mr Sparks was sitting opposite of her, but from this angle all people could see was back of his expensive black suit. Blair shook her head, completely forgetting it was their anniversary.
Chuck's eyes widened in recognition at Diana and he let out a small laugh.
''Why didn't you tell me?'' He asked, his eyes softening visibly. She didn't know what to say to this. Blair wasn't aware what was he trying to do. Was he trying to embarrass her? It didn't seem like it. He didn't even seem to be mad that she skipped on him today and lied to him. ''Well, give us a wine list. I don't want you having trouble with your boss.''
Blair could hear the beautiful melody in the background, accompanied with piano and cello. She didn't seem to be the only one who was confused. The rest of Chuck's friends seemed to be baffled not only with the situation, but his reaction too - most especially Serena.
''I did everything for my dad in his previous club before he sold it - Victor Victrola. I know what's it like.''
''Wait a second...'' Serena quietly whispered, looking around the room in wonder. ''This is your dad's hotel?''
''Look,'' Chuck nodded towards Sparks and they all looked at them. ''This is Blair's parents' anniversary.''
Blair gulped down a lump, feeling her skin stretching so far it was almost translucent. He already saw Diana, she remembered with discomfort. He saw her calling her from the window and assumed it was her mother. Cursed motherchucker!
He smiled at her and she felt such gripping overwhelming fear at the idea of opposing him. Blair would rather drown in lies than break his heart.
''You keep surprising me,'' He said softly, as if words were intended for her alone, the light of chandeliers twinkling in his dark eyes.
Blair nervously nodded, wanting to get away, wanting to look away from his captivating gaze. If she looked at him some more, she was sure she'd turn to pillar of salt. ''I'm going - to my parents.''
Blair quickly walked away to the celebrating couple, tired and still shaken from what just happened.
''You're still here?'' Diana exclaimed, peeking at the Rolex watch on her husband's wrist. Blair completely lost track of time with work. It was so late she was sure she'd never hear the end of it when she got home. Blair was supposed to be at home two hours ago.
''It's busy tonight.''
''What about your parents?'' Her neighbor knew very well how strict and conservative her parents were. Diana seemed to show genuine worry at this information.
''I had to tell them I had late classes.''
Mr Sparks coughed awkwardly, clearly uncomfortable and displeased with lying. Blair felt herself overstaying the welcome. She had to wrap up chit-chat and go back to work. ''Happy anniversary.''
''Thank you, young lady.'' Mr Spark's deep chilly voice said. He never called her Blair, simply always young lady. ''How's work? Are you used to it?''
She thought about it for a second and her glance flashed back to birthday table. Everyone was watching her with wide eyes. She gulped. ''I'm doing everything not to fail your trust.''
The couple smiled, not genuinely, but politely.
''Congratulations again.'' She went back to the birthday group to take their orders. Serena fidgeted in her chair, clearly uncomfortable.
''Your hotel is very nice.''
''I'm glad you like it,'' Blair said coldly, looking down at the blond past her paper block. She wasn't fooled. Serena must have brought them here, she must have somehow discovered Blair worked here. It was last minute reservation, after all. Actually, they booked the table only few minutes after Blair started the shift. ''I thought you knew about this place since you happen to celebrate here.''
''I didn't. I've heard about it. It turned out well.'' Her green orbs were almost filled with electricity, sending spark everywhere. Blair drew pen out of her pocket, well aware she was lying and covering up failed schemes. ''Your mom is very pretty. When do we get to meet your parents?''
Blair cleared her throat, very much agitated by the mere thought of them coming up to Sparks. Just because she somehow miraculously got through with these lies didn't mean she could push it further. It was impossible, Sparks would laugh off such ridiculous notion - Blair, their daughter?! Concierge's kid pretending to be their daughter?!
''I don't know,'' She brushed her off. ''It's kind of inconvenient now. Plus, I'm working.''
''So what?'' Serena pressed, looking right at Chuck. ''It will take two minutes. We just want to offer our congratulations.''
''I said,'' sighed Blair in frustration. ''It's inconvenient. They're having a private dinner.''
''You don't know what it's like to work,'' Added Chuck, throwing Serena warning glances. ''Bart didn't like to see a friend with me while working. It's called job discipline. We'll meet them some other time.''
He flashed her a small smile and Blair could feel roof falling on her head.
''Can I take your order now?'' She poured them wine after that, one of the most expensive bottles they had in store. Serena looked gloomy, even when everyone toasted in her honor. She drained the whole glass in one motion.
Blair could feel Chuck's eyes on her. She bustled around their table as they ate and every time she would leave to take care of other guests, he'd use every chance to keep her close. One time it was refill, other time a new napkin, third time minor change in the order. Every time she would pass by and accidentally brush him, her whole world turned upside down.
She came back to their table with new bottle of wine and opened it up. Blair tipped the bottle over to his glass when she felt his hand slowly glide up the side of her thigh. She felt surge of relish overwhelm her body and her eyes lost focus of the glass for a second. Her hand slipped and she spilled wine down his shirt.
''Sorry,'' She gasped, setting the bottle on the table and hastily picked few napkins. ''I ruined your shirt.''
''It's my fault,'' Chuck protested, but didn't do anything else as she slowly and carefully dabbed his chest. His eyes were fixed on her face and she could feel solid muscles under the layer of clothes. Blair could hear her own heart beating furiously, louder than murmur of all guests combined.
''Actually,'' He whispered, biting his lower lip. ''You will have to make it up to me. It's my favorite Tom Ford.''
''Oh?'' She dabbed lower, coming dangerously close to the line where his shirt ended and pants began. His breathing stopped. She unconsciously licked her lips. ''And how will I do that?''
The music and the murmur stopped. There was nothing in their ears, except for their heavy breathing.
All of a sudden, Chuck grabbed her arm and gingerly pulled her away from his body. He shut his eyes for a moment, as if recollecting himself. ''Would it be easier for you if I left?''
She pouted at the thought of him leaving, when all day she craved his nearness, his touch. Chuck took a deep breath and shook his head, pulling her closer on the pretense of taking the napkin from her. She felt her insides melting as their bodies touched.
''It's hard being close to you,'' He murmured so only she could hear. ''But watching you as if you're far away.''
''I'm sorry,'' Serena's voice interrupted their moment. ''Can we get a bill, please?''
Flushed, Blair cleared her throat and immediately left.
While she was at the cash register, taking care of the bill, Serena rose from the table. She wobbled, obviously drunk, and Nate caught her shoulders to steady her. Once her balance seemed regained, he let her go to fetch their jackets. Turning around, Nate saw she was gone. He swore under his breath. Chuck rose quickly, following the wobbly figure between the tables of the restaurant.
Serena finally stopped in front of Sparks' table, where the couple had a quiet meal.
''Bon appetit,'' She exclaimed, giggling. Her eyes seemed hazy, but there were once again electrical sparks flashing from them.
''Thank you,'' replied Diana, eying the drunk girl curiously. She threw her a small smile, mildly entertained by the debauchery of youngsters today and the way they displayed it - by random congratulations.
Chuck came from behind, apologetic look on his face. ''Good evening,'' He gallantly said, nodding at Mrs Sparks. ''Happy anniversary.''
Diana's eyes flashed in recognition. That was the boy from Georgina's papers. She laughed in surprise and delight. ''Thank you!''
''It's very nice here,'' Slurred Serena, leaning heavily on Chuck's shoulder. ''It's my birthday today. We celebrated here.''
''Oh, really?'' Said Diana politely, but her eyes were still trained on Chuck.
''Yes,'' Blond sighed, her mouth agape. ''The staff-''
''The staff is wonderful,'' Chuck interrupted and steered clearly drunk Serena back to lobby and towards taxi. ''Have a good night.''
''But I have to pay,'' Whined his friend, flailing her arms around. ''We can't dine and dash. It's rude.''
''Nate took care of it.''
''Where's my purse?''
''Nate got it,'' Paige drawled as they approached, completely bored with the whole evening. She nodded to Blair as they left.
Blair watched them leave. She let out a breath she didn't know was holding.
''Blair,'' Diana summoned her all of a sudden. ''You can go. It's getting late. I'll talk to John if there's need.''
Blair sighed in relief. She thanked them and went to change her clothes in regular one. As she put on sweater over head, her phone dropped on floor. Picking it up, with horror on her face, she saw 20 missed calls from Dan. Dan never ever called her. Something must have happened. There was only one message.
Come to hospital immediately.
Dan
He watched her blond waves spill over Chuck's wine stained suit. Sapphires on her ears shone against dim limo light. Town car came to a stop and Serena stirred, muttering something.
''Are you okay?'' Chuck asked, lightly nudging her shoulder.
''No,'' She moaned, fluttering her green eyes open. For a strange moment, they seemed to focus on Nate as if she'd been sober all along. He held her gaze for a second, unreadable expression on her face. Shaking his head, he opened the doors and softly coaxed her out. ''Serena, come on.''
Her hair was disheveled, making her look wild and feral. Her cheeks were rosy and her eyes once again glazed.
''Just like the old times,'' she sang as she glued herself away from Chuck and fell into Nate's arms.
''You can go home,'' he said as Chuck went to open doors on the other side. He held her tightly, not helping but to relish in her perfume. ''I'll stay.''
''Are you sure? I can wait.''
''No need,'' Nate assured his best friend. ''I'll tuck her in and hail a cab.''
''Call me if you need anything,'' Chuck added before ordering his chauffeur to go home.
The streets of New York were almost empty. The night was chilly, frost bit the skin. It looked like it was going to snow these days. Serena's heel twisted and her knees buckled. She almost fell, but Nate held her waist to prevent it.
''It's okay, it's okay.''
She looked up, her green eyes looking at him from under thick set of lashes. Her voice was a mere hush, warm mist coming from her mouth enveloped him in peculiar exotic lull. ''Will you always be with me?''
Her smiled stretched and her hands hung around his neck lazily. He still didn't let go of her her. He couldn't make himself. ''Even in the worst of times? While I'm crying? Screaming?''
Nate loosened his grip on her, only so he could brush a stray hair from her eyes. Grin grazed his face and he felt all repressed affection that he'd been harboring surge forward and take over him. This was it. Nate had the words dancing on the tip of his tongue. ''Serena, I...''
All of a sudden, Serena pushed him away. His eyes widened in shock as he watched her clamp a hand over own mouth. She skittered away and vomited whole dinner in nearby bush. Nate sighed and held her magnificent blond hair away from her mouth.
''Let's get you home.''
Blair didn't sleep all night. After work, she rushed straight to hospital. Dan wasn't returning her phone calls. When she got there, mother informed her that dad was stabbed while working.
He had been taking up night shifts as taxi driver these past few days to repay Dan's debt. Someone mercilessly stabbed him, robbed little what he had and left him to die. They found him in pool of blood, alone in cold. Blair was so tired she couldn't cry. She just stared at the white washed wall while they waited.
When Dan saw her, he took up his frustrations on her and shouted for all hospital to hear. He demanded what kind of college has late classes and how she'd been ignoring them when they needed her the most. She knew he blamed himself for this. She knew he secretly wished he was never born.
Blair spent all night sitting on cold uncomfortable chair, waiting for news. Her mind swam, filled with half-dreams and visions. Was this her fault after all? Did her lies bring this upon them? Is this the price to pay to restore imbalance?
Finally in the morning, doctor came and informed them that her father was stable. They stitched him up and transfered enough blood. He was apparently good to go later in the afternoon, but needed a lot of rest. Mother ushered Blair home to eat something and give bread and milk to residents. Like a zombie, she got up, went home, and ate breakfast. The food refused to stay down. She gagged over porcelain bowl, tears streaming down her face. Not even a cold shower could wake her up out of that daze.
Her dad... stabbed. Her daddy robbed. On the brink of death. Her phone rang, waking her out of stupor. It was Chuck. She let it ring, not having strength or time to talk to him right now. After ringing died out, she noticed he called last night too, but amidst the havoc, she missed it.
Do you want to go somewhere today?
C x
She sighed wistfully at his text. Today, all she wanted to do was see her father home safe and well. She was in no condition for company.
I can't. Dad is sick. Sorry.
B
Blair tuned off the phone, took the basket with bread and hauled it up the stairs. Her parents got home in the afternoon, without Dan. When Blair asked about his whereabouts, everyone avoided the answer.
Dad looked pale and shaken, every step hurt his body. There was huge white cloth around his waist, hiding the spot where he was injured. They carefully put him to sleep and later on, Blair crashed on her own bed. She was so exhausted she fall asleep in clothes. Blair had been woken up in the morning by the noise in the living room.
She rose, feeling sticky and sweaty in clothes from yesterday. Looking at the clock, she saw it was too early to wake. Blair got into living room and caught her mother dashing out of the apartment.
Curious, Blair followed Jane all the way to the basement. She was carrying something in her hand. As soon as she got closer, Blair saw it was white gauze and alcohol. On the opposite wall was Dan, crouched against the wall. His eyes were puffy as if he just finished crying. There was a gash on his forehead, streak of crimson leaking down the temple.
''Dan,'' She shrieked, hurrying up to her brother. He looked terrible. She was worried for him, afraid if some worse wound was hidden somewhere. ''What happened?''
''He picked a fight on the street,'' Jane explained with shaky voice. Mom handed her the gauze and rest of aid kit. ''Blair, I'm going upstairs to check on dad. Walk in quietly, he needs rest.''
Blair nodded absentmindedly. ''Who did you fight with, Dan?'' She put some alcohol on the gauze and started to clean the wound.
Dan hissed at the pain of ethanol. ''I went to see that guy.''
That guy? What guy? Unless... There was only one that guy. Blair paused, her hand starting to tremble. She knew what he would say, but asked nevertheless. ''Went to see who?''
''I went to that fancy place, that club. I wanted to talk. But they wouldn't let me.'' His eyes narrowed dangerously and he clenched his fists. ''I was with the son. I was with Chuck Bass.''
A/N: Let me quote a guest that left a review on previous chapter. I asked what do you think would happen next and they said: ''Oh my, Blair is gonna be a waitress on Serena's birthday and everyone will found out that she's been lying - including Chuck? I don't know, maybe I'm just neurotic. I can't help feeling something really bad is gonna happen to B.''
Congratulations you mysterious Oracle! Very admirable deductive abilities! Or prophetic? Nevertheless, I owe you a drink. I guess we're all kind of neurotic here :)
By the way, I want to express my sympathy for all people of Paris, Baghdad, Beirut and Libya. I've heard about the bombing, even though the media was mostly focused on Paris. You have my full moral support, I hope you're somewhere safe and that your loved ones are too. Send me a PM if I can help anyhow.