The cats reached the end of their forty five minute journey, which had involved taking the Bakerloo line to Elephant and castle, but hopping off at the Oxford Circus station in order to pick up the Central Line to Bank, before catching the Delaware line to Limehouse and then walking the last few yards to Cable Street, Whitechapel. Dressed in cloaks, the group of small cat people; wielding miniature instruments made out of junk, attracted some strange looks to say the least, from members of the public. However, while one or two humans gawped, most simply went back to reading their newspapers, assuming there must have been some sort of strange convention on or something. Others made a point of not looking; choosing instead to stare out of the windows at the speeding blackness. Being British, nobody said anything. That was the funny thing about the humans of London. They could have been sitting next to a combination of Godzilla and Mr Blobby and still, nobody would have batted an eyelid, for they were far too interested in their own tiny worlds to be concerned with what was going on outside of them, and explained why they lived happily alongside a group of extraordinary cat people, whilst being blissfully unaware of their existence.
It was as they turned to walk down Cable Street that Munkustrap suddenly froze. Everyone else did too. All except for Rum Tum Tugger, who was about to carry on striding confidently forwards like he hadn't a care in the world (Which of course, he didn't! Apart from getting to the well stocked bar and the possibility of getting laid with a naive young princess or three!) when he felt his brother's heavy paw clamp down on his shoulder. Feeling slightly annoying at having his strut interrupted, he glanced sideways at the Munkustrap, whose nose and whiskers were twitching and his slightly rounded ears were pricked up. His tail was swinging from side to side like a pendulum, making it blatantly obvious that he was ill at ease. "Say! What's up dude? You got stage fright or something?" Rum Tum Tugger asked, raising an eyebrow.
Munkustrap ignored him and sniffed the air. "What is it?" asked Jazzie.
"I'm not happy about us straying into another's territory," Munkustrap replied, keeping his voice low. "Especially not this one."
"Who's territory?" scoffed Rum Tum Tugger.
"Vandals," came the grim reply.
"Never heard of them!" Rum Tum Tugger scoffed again, randomly waving an apathetic paw.
"Lucky you," Munkustrap replied ironically, without looking at him.
"Friendly, are they?" Rum Tum Tugger skeptically enquired.
He couldn't see what the fuss was about! He was The Tugger! And he could (And would!) go anywhere he liked! Unliked his brother, who seemed to make enemies left, right and centre. That was his trouble. No social skills whatsoever! As if on cue, Munkustrap growled in reply, "Well, if having your guts pulled out through your nostrils is something that you enjoy, then yes, they are extremely amicable!"
"Look dude, we may as well get to the club, seeing as it's just there and we've come all this way," reasoned Rum Tum Tugger, getting impatient. "We haven't strayed too far into enemy territory, we'll be safe while we're in Jamboree and then we can scarper as soon as it's kicking out time. Chances are they'll never even know we're here!"
"I wish I shared your selfish optimism!" Munkustrap growled again, suppressing a shiver. "At least you won't have to get us all out of trouble when it eventually finds us!"
"Ever the pessimist aren't you?" Rum Tum Tugger mocked. "Well, I'm getting me to the club. You can stand out here in the rain growling at the shadows if you want. Or, you can follow me." He shrugged. "Up to you."
Munkustrap knew he was never going to win this argument. And it was too late to turn back. So, he grudgingly allowed Jazzie and Bombalurina to slip their paws into each of his and drag him onwards, though not before he had turned back to catch the eyes of his sons, Alonzo and Mistoffelees, imparting a look that said, "Be vigilant!"
Finally, they made it through the rain to the corner of a line of stark red brick Georgian buildings and walked through the gated archway of the small venue. But as the gate was locked behind them, they didn't notice the shadowy silhouette of something sinister stalking just outside...
The Jamboree was an intimate room packed from floor to ceiling with mismatched old wooden furniture and knick knacks of all kinds. Many items were mounted onto the white walls; from old instruments, to typewriters, old bakelite telephones and even a spinning wheel!
"This place is a dump!" sneered Hortenseya, surveying her surroundings from where she was sitting; around a small table with her companions.
"I think it's rather cosy," Jazzie disagreed. "It reminds me of our Junkyard, only much more interesting!"
At that moment, feedback from the amplifier made them all jump and the pub fell silent. Had a human been there, it wouldn't have been very loud, since the amplifiers had had their volumes turned right down. In fact, they'd have hardly heard a thing! But for the cats, whose sensitive hearing was designed to pick up the footsteps and high frequency calls of small mammals rather than blaring music, it was a good job they had stuffed earplugs into their ears or they would have severely damaged them.
On the small wooden stage, the band had completed their sound check and were as ready as they were ever going to be. The onlookers were met with the haunting sound of bagpipes, which was then coupled with Munkustrap's tenor vocals.
"In Archangel I land in the middle o war,
The Adreena was trapped far from shore,
I ran from fire and dodged a great bear,
Who wanted my flesh for his own fair,
I'd have froze to death if not for a Russian maid,
She took me back to her circus palisade,
I was set to work on trapeze and tightrope,
Riding high on fear and hope,
When the time it came to say goodbye,
I went to work as an English spy,
Thank you Russia, it's been grand,
But now I must return to old England,
Land in Hampton with far to go,
Decide to stop off at a pub I know,
There I meet a girl I thought I knew well,
But she tricked me and sent me to Hell,
I was captured by her thugs who took me for a slave,
Threatened to rip out my claws were I to misbehave,
I endured starvation and beatings so bad,
The worst experience I've ever had,
I was forced to sing, dance or fight,
Whatever they wanted that was my plight,
The fellow who aided my escape was struck down,
I was pursued through the streets of London town,
I hid in a train, thinking I would die,
But for my cousin who hears my cry,
Helps me return to my base,
I soon recover to find my place,
And vow to take back the life you stole,
To attack you and leave a gaping hole,
A hole that I pledged to fill,
And what do you know, I am there still!"
This was followed by a fiddle solo, which duetted with Rum Tum Tugger's bagpipes.
Then Munkustrap joined in over the top for the song finale, with everyone joining in, bopping and folk dancing,
"Hold out, hold out, my love is as wide as the sea I sail,
Though I maybe far away, My heart lies in London,
Hold out, hold out, my love is as wide as the sea I sail,
Though I maybe far away, My heart lies in London,
Hold out, hold out, my love is as wide as the sea I sail,
Though I maybe far away, My heart lies in London,
(Hold out, hold out, hold out, hold out, hold out, hold out, hold out, hold out)
Though I maybe far away, My heart lies
My heart lies
My heart lies
In London!"
(My Heart Lies In London by Munkustrap)
When the song ended, the audience clapped and cheered. Waiting until the clamour had died down before speaking again, Munkustrap used the spare few seconds to swap his guitar for the viola (while Rum Tum Tugger had picked up an accordion from somewhere). "This next song is called Devil In The Woman," he informed them. "Take it away Lonz!"
A rhythmic, tinny beat started up; the kind which makes your paws want to clap and grabs at your feet, making them want to stamp. The hum of the accordion and the squeal of the fiddles made you want to bend your knees and sway your hips, just like The Charming Little Woman, whom Munkustrap and Bombalurina sang about.
"What's the chief of tom's delight?
Charming little woman O
Who can set a tom to rights?
Charming little woman O
Who can cut your heart in two?
Who can beat you black and blue?
Who can love you better too?
Charming little woman O
Who can scratch and roll like fun?
Charming little woman O
Who can make a tom to run?
Charming little woman O
Fire burning through the rain
Full of passion full of pain
Who can get you back again?
Charming little woman O
When a tom gets home he's sure to shout
Charming little woman O
Who can turn his pockets out?
Charming little woman O
Who can get the gammon hot
Like boiling water in a pot?
Then you'll find what you have got
Devil in the woman O
Who can make a manor tidy?
Charming little woman O
Curtain linen up on Friday
Charming little woman O
When his fur is neatly done
Through the work it's undergone
Who can mess it up again?
Charming little woman O!"
(Devil In The Woman by Eliza Carthy and the Wayward band)
"Now, this next song," Munkustrap announced, trying to keep straight face. "Was not written by me. Hell, I wish I had though! It was actually written by a man called Ewan Maccoll of the Pogues and is called Dirty Old Town."
Mistoffelees started up his fiddle as Munkustrap strummed his guitar and the drum beat was a mere metronome; with Demeter's recorder and Rum Tum Tugger's accordion joining them halfway through the song. It was so atmospheric that the hairs of every cat stood on end.
"I met my love by the gas works wall
Dreamed a dream by the old canal
I kissed my girl by the factory wall
Dirty old town
Dirty old town
Clouds are drifting across the moon
Cats are prowling on their beat
Spring's a girl from the streets at night
Dirty old town
Dirty old town
I heard a siren from the docks
Saw a train set the night on fire
I smelled the spring on the smoky wind
Dirty old town
Dirty old town
I'm going to make me a good sharp axe
Shining steel tempered in the fire
I'll chop you down like an old dead tree
Dirty old town
Dirty old town
I met my love by the gas works wall
Dreamed a dream by the old canal
I kissed my girl by the factory wall
Dirty old town
Dirty old town
Dirty old town
Dirty old town."
(Dirty Old Town by The Pogues)
Amid yet more clapping and caterwauling, Munkustrap hailed the crowd, "Thank you! We are The Red Herrings. On violin, we have Mistoffelees; let's give him a cheer!"
Mistoffelees smiled shyly and bowed. "On double bass we have the ravishing Bombalurina!"
She gave a sultry smirk and blew the audience a kiss. "On recorder and tin whistle, we have Demeter!" He continued.
Demeter responded to the acknowledgement by giving the audience a demure smile and a nod. "On drums, we have Alonzo, give us a bash Lonz, let us know you're here!"
Alonzo duly obliged. "And of course, I could go without mentioning The Rum Tum Tugger, who is playing my favourite instrument in all the World! No, we do not need a demonstration thank you! We already know that it sounds like a duck on helium."
Rum Tum Tugger ignored his brother's comment and gave the bagpipes an almighty 'paaaaarp!' receiving the biggest cheer of the night thus far. "You've been a fantastic audience, thank you so much!" said Munkustrap, and they all left the stage.
There were disappointed groans and shouts of, "Encore!" And slowly, the band began to filter back onto the stage. But this time, Rum Tum Tugger held Munkustrap's guitar, which Munkustrap had swapped for the viola.
"This piece is called Fire and Ice and was written by our wonderfully talented magician," Munkustrap declared. "Mistoffelees? If you would care to count us in?"
The crowd grew silent again and waited nervously, ready to put their paws over their ears! Munkustrap tucked the viola under his chin, held the bow to the strings and made eye contact with his son. Mistoffelees nodded and counted, "...Two, three, four…" and the band burst into life with a glorious Irish jig. And the audience needn't have worried, because Munkustrap played passably well; not quite as refined as his son, who was master of his violin, but still, well enough to have everyone up and dancing around (only hitting a couple of bum notes, but no one seemed to notice!) The tin whistle trickled in, giving the piece an extra je ne sais quoi and then things started to get a little crazy, but the crowd loved it, roaring its appreciation when Munkustrap, Rum Tum Tugger and Mistoffelees stood at the front and began to gavotte upon the tiny stage. The tempo quickened as the music reached its finale and finished to excited whistles and cheers. Munkustrap bowed. "Thank you! You've been grand! And now, it is my pleasure to announce the next act. Give it up for, The Shelby's, everyone!"
As he left the stage, he was not aware that a pair of deep copper eyes were watching his every move. But while he was walking through the crowd, he felt something unexpectedly brush his paw. Instinctively turning to smile politely at whoever was trying to get his attention, he was surprised to find Mungojerry's grinning face.
"Alright Guvnor?" The ginger Torbie Tabby asked. "You look like you lost sommink?"
Ignoring him, Munkustrap shrugged and contined onwards to the bar. With it being rather high, he and the other cat's had to jump up onto it in order to get the bar maid's attention, which was not a problem. "What can I get ya?" the sable and seal point Ojos Azules shouted up to him from behind the bar.
"Your finest moonshine please, Sonora-" Rum Tum Tugger interrupted.
"I was serving this gentleman! I'll get to you after!" She snapped. "Yes Sir?" she repeated.
"Water please," Munkustrap requested.
"Small or large?" She asked.
"Best make it a large," he said decisively.
"Ice and slice?" She asked again.
"Just the ice," he responded with a polite smile.
"Coming right up, Sir. Nice playing by the way!" she praised him, batting her dark blue eyes.
She filled a glass with ice, then grabbed a hose from its holder and filled a half pint glass with cool, fresh water. "Thank you." Munkustrap gave her a courteous nod and jumped down.
"Pushing the boat out as usual Bro?" Rum Tum Tugger commented, as Sonora climbed onto the bar and leaned over in order to hand Munkustrap the glass of water.
Munkustrap reached up to grab it and shrugged again, then took a large glug before answering, "A: it's free. B: I'm thirsty, and C: unlike you, I need every single one of my faculties intact!"
"Suit yourself," his brother replied, knocking back a small glass of crystal clear liquid.
"I shall," Munkustrap responded, smiling and putting his arm around Jazzie, who had Just wondered over. "Just don't get too rat-arsed, ok? I'm not carrying you home!"
He gratefully turned his attention away from his brother and steered it towards the gorgeous Snowshoe in front of him. But being almost five inches taller than she was, he had to bend slightly in order to allow her to place her paws around his broad shoulders and lightly kiss him. "You were fantastique!" she exclaimed, her light blue eyes sparkling. "Did you write zose songs?"
"The first one I did," he replied.
"Who was it about?" She queried.
Munkustrap smiled. "I'll tell you later," he said.
She gave him a forceful look. "Promise?" She said.
"Promise," he echoed.
"Hmmm, d'accord..." She sighed, seeming momentarily satisfied.
"Oh! I have to go talk to someone," she said suddenly.
"Ok hun. I'll be right here," he promised.
"See you in a minute!" She quickly finished, giving him one last peck before melting into the crowd, closely followed by an envious glare.
A set of lips pouted and sang quietly into the mic, their owner hidden from view behind one of the yellow stage curtains.
"I got a girl crush
Hate to admit it but
I got a heart rush
Ain't slowing down
I got it real bad
Want everything she has
That smile and that midnight laugh
She's giving you now
I want to taste her lips
Yeah, 'cause they taste like you
I want to drown myself
In a bottle of her perfume
I want her little white paws
I want her magic touch
Yeah, 'cause maybe then
You'd want me just as much
I got a girl crush
I got a girl crush
I don't get no sleep
I don't get no peace
Thinking about her
Under your bed sheets
The way that she's whispering
The way that she's pulling you in
Lord knows I've tried,
I can't get her off my mind
I want to taste her lips
Yeah, 'cause they taste like you
I want to drown myself
In a bottle of her perfume
I want her big blue eyes
I want her magic touch
Yeah, 'cause maybe then
You'd want me just as much
I got a girl crush
I got a girl crush
Hate to admit it but
I got a heart rush
It ain't slowing down."
(Girl Crush by Little Big Town)
The Shelby's kicked their set into gear and everyone turned to watch as the queen group consisting of Jemima, Electra, Etcetera and Rumpleteazer began to strut their stuff with a second sexy number done in a folky style,
"You should take it as a compliment
That I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk."
"Strange," Munkustrap said to himself. "Is it just me, or is Rumpleteazer staring in mydirection?"
So what if she was? She always made fun of the way he spoke, even when she was sober! In fact, winding him up seemed to be one of her and Mungojerry's favourite pastimes. Besides stealing, of course!
"You should think about the consequence
Of your magnetic field being a little too strong."
Her eyes were definitely blazing at him, and he sincerely hoped that no one else had noticed.
"And I got a boyfriend, he's older than us,
He's in the club doing, I don't know what,
You're so cool, it makes me hate you so much (I hate you so much),
Whisky on ice, Sunset and Vine,
You've ruined my life, by not being mine."
Munkustrap's jaw dropped. "What...!?" He spluttered.
"You're so gorgeous,
I can't say anything to your face,
'Cause look at your face,
And I'm so furious,
At you for making me feel this way,
But, what can I say?
You're gorgeous."
This had to be a wind up. There was no other explanation that Munkustrap could think of!
"You should take it as a compliment,
That I'm talking to everyone here but you (but you, but you),
And you should think about the consequence,
Of you touching my hand in the darkened room (dark room, dark room)"
Realisation dawned as he felt the lingering tingle on his paw where he'd been touched. The cheeky mare! As he stared back, she held his gaze and calmly walked from the stage, with the crowd parting as she moved towards him.
"If you've got a girlfriend, I'm jealous of her,
But if you're single that's honestly worse,
'Cause you're so gorgeous it actually hurts,
(Honey, it hurts)"
Deep copper eyes gazed into his and Munkustrap held them, feeling vaguely amused. Whatever game she was playing, he wasn't about to rise to it.
"Ocean blue eyes looking in mine,
I feel like I might sink and drown and die."
She was close enough for her whiskers to brush his and it looked as though she was about to kiss him. But before she went any further she suddenly pulled away and slunk back to the stage, though not before turning to pout and wink over her shoulder as she sang,
"You're so gorgeous,
I can't say anything to your face (to your face),
'Cause look at your face (look at your face)
And I'm so furious
At you for making me feel this way
But what can I say?
You're gorgeous,
You make me so happy, it turns back to sad, yeah
There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have,
You are so gorgeous it makes me so mad,
You make me so happy, it turns back to sad, yeah
There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have,
Guess I'll just stumble on home to my flat,
Alone, unless you wanna come along?"
Munkustrap raised his eyebrows and gave her a sarcastic expression. "Yeah! Nice try!" He thought.
He strongly suspected that his pregnant twins Etcetera and Electra were also in on the jape, along with his niece Jemima. However, to his surprise, instead of giggling hysterically, they were actually giving Rumpleteazer incredulous sideways glances as though they were about as clued up as he was as to what planet the ginger torbie thought she was on! "Most Odd," he mused. "Ah well! Whatever! She always was two sandwiches short of a picnic anyway!"
She did seem a little put out by the lack of encouragement on his part, though!
"Oh! You're so gorgeous,
I can't say anything to your face (to your face),
'Cause look at your face (look at your face),
And I'm so furious (I'm so furious),
At you for making me feel this way (feel this way),
But what can I say? (I say)
You're gorgeous,
You make me so happy, it turns back to sad, yeah
There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have,
You are so gorgeous it makes me so mad,
You're gorgeous,
You make me so happy, it turns back to sad, yeah,
There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have,
You are so gorgeous it makes me so mad
You're gorgeous!"
(Gorgeous by Tailor Swift)
Rum Tum Tugger stared at his brother, open mouthed. "What was that all about?" he demanded.
"Damned if I know!" Came the gruff reply.
Munkustrap shrugged and went back to nursing his waterglass, fervently hoping that Jazzie hadn't just seen! "It was probably just Teazer mucking about, you know what she's like!" Rum Tum Tugger decided for him.
"I won't take that as an insult," Munkustrap replied.
"Well, she'd hardly go after you if she was in her right mind, would she?" Rum Tum Tugger reasoned.
Munkustrap responded with a dry laugh, "Oh hah hah!"
"I mean, ain't she a bit young for you? I thought you liked your queens a bit more...mature shall we say?" Rum Tum Tugger carried on.
Munkustrap flashed him a glare. "Have you quite finished?" he growled.
Meanwhile, Jazzie made her way to the corner the the room. Where was she? Aha! There she was! The black calico was sitting at a lonely table all by herself, not really paying much attention to anything that was going on around her. "Mind if I sit here?" asked Jazzie, pulling a chair out for herself.
Demeter didn't answer, so Jazzie sat down anyway. There was an awkward silence. Then, tentatively, Jazzie spoke, asking a question that had been burning her up inside, "Demeter, I want us to be friends. Why don't you want zat too?"
Still no answer.
"Surely you hate zis as much as I do?" Jazzie carried on, her voice getting steadily louder. "Why can't we make peace? Why do you hate me? Demeter!?"
"Because you took him away from me!" Demeter shouted. "You're so young and...pretty. You made him push me away!"
"You pushed yourself away!" Jazzie argued.
"I was his number one!" Demeter continued. "But you took that crown from me!"
"We both know zat's not true," Jazzie responded. He loves you, isn't zat what counts, razzer zan 'who he loves more?' Zat is so petty!"
"Do YOU love him?" Demeter snarled.
Without hesitation, Jazzie answered, "More zan ze Earth itself. So much zat he terrifies me."
"Then you understand how I feel," said Demeter. "If you choose to fall in love with Munkustrap then you may as well fall in love with the wind, it'll stick around longer. Though not before it slowly strips you to the bone."
"I don't think anybody chooses to fall in love," Jazzie said reasonably. "But I if could choose zen I would choose him every time. As long as I love him, I can endure what life throws at me."
"Then either you are a fool or you are a better queen than me, Jazzie," Demeter remarked. "Maybe that is why I hate you so much! You don't make it easy for me to hate you, you know. You're so...nice."
"We don't have to be best friends," said Jazzie, with a plea in her voice. "But can we at least call a truce? You know how much it upsets him, seeing his queens fighting when he himself fights so hard for peace."
"He said that?" Demeter said suddenly.
"He told me a lot of things," Jazzie admitted. "He was...very honest."
During their few days spent in Paris together, she got gotten to know the silver Bengcoon very well. They had told each other their life stories. And what a story Munkustrap's was! Parts of it were simply harrowing, but as a result, she now more respect and love for him then she ever would have thought possible.
Just as she was mulling over some of their more intimate moments during their stay, Jazzie looked lovingly over to where Munkustrap was still standing. And felt her blood run cold.
She couldn't help but stare as, in seemingly slow motion Rumpleteazer slipped from the stage and headed towards her Silver tom, noticing with disappointment that he made no attempt to move away, as her lips came within brushing distance of his… "It is one sing to talk about sharing, but quite anozzer to put it into practice," Jazzie thought dryly as she tore her gaze away and turned back around to face Demeter.
The Golden Calico had a dark smirk on her face. She had clearly seen everything. "Feels good doesn't it?" She said sarcastically. "That pain. That jealousy!"
"Jealousy is like a maggot zat eats at your brain and rots it. So I do not feel it," Jazzie returned icily. "You need to curb zat jealous heart of yours, Demeter. I see it burning your soul and if you are not careful zen you will wind up like Munkustrap's older brozzer! Unlike you, I am grateful for what I have and I am only too happy to share with someone else who is in need. It is what I do. I do not long for what I don't have. I do not even long for his love. If he told me he loved me simply to make me feel better or to satisfy himself, then I can deal wiz zat."
"Is that what you really think?"
Jazzie spun round. She hadn't realised he was standing behind her! He caught Demeter's eye, but she burst into tears and pushed passed him into the crowd. Jazzie shrugged. "I try," she sighed.
Munkustrap smiled. "Then you can hold your head high," he said.
But he was puzzled when she didn't smile back. "Oh dear! I'm in trouble now!" he thought.
He gently held her arms and eased her out of her chair so that she stood facing him. "How much did you see?" he asked her seriously.
"Enough!" She sharply replied.
"I couldn't stop her-" he began.
"Well you made no effort to fend her off did you!" She snapped.
Munkustrap was quiet. What could he say? He was about to try to say something, when there came a sudden announcement from the stage. "Thank you all so much for your amazing company, London," said a minky lilac Burmese. "My name is Bellatriss and you have been listening to Wave Of The Tail. It is now time for us to say goodnight, but before we go, it is my great pleasure to announce the next act. Please welcome, The Nymph Quartet!"
"Sacrebleu! Chez moi!" Jazzie panicked.
Munkustrap shoved her towards the stage. "Go!" He told her. "We'll talk later! Bowl them over kid!"
"Jazzie where've you been?" fussed Lucitana.
She grabbed Jazzie's arm and dragged her up onstage, just as Norstara was beginning to tap the drums. Hortenseya began to play her violin and Lucitana dived behind the piano. Jazzie grabbed her lyre just in time and together they sang in beautiful harmony,
"Elle sort de son lit
Tellement sur d'elle
La seine, la seine, la seine
Tellement jolie elle m'ensorcelle
La seine, la seine, la seine
Extralucide la lune est sur
La seine, la seine, la seine
Tu n'es pas saoul
Paris est sous
La seine, la seine, la seine
Je ne sais, ne sais, ne sais pas pourquoi
On s'aime comme ça, la seine et moi
Je ne sais, ne sais, ne sais pas pourquoi
On s'aime comme ça la seine et moi
Extra lucille quand tu es sur
La seine, la seine, la seine
Extravagante quand l'ange est sur
La seine, la seine, la seine
Je ne sais, ne sais, ne sais pas pourquoi
On s'aime comme ça, la seine et moi
Je ne sais, ne sais, ne sais pas pourquoi
On s'aime comme ça la seine et moi
Sur le Pont des Arts
Mon cœur vacille
Entre deux eaux
L'air est si bon
Cet air si pur
Je le respire
Nos reflets perchés
Sur ce pont
On s'aime comme ça la seine et moi
On s'aime comme ça la seine et moi
On s'aime comme ça la seine et moi
On s'aime comme ça la seine et moi!"
(La Seine by Vanessa Paradis)
The audience was quickly up and dancing, showing appreciation for their new favourite song, knowing that they would be humming it for the next seven days. Then the cheering died down and the cats all listened intently as the piano gently played, the violin wailed and the lyre tinkled, while a soft, sweet melody emanated from Norstara's sanza, which was made out of an old sardine can. There were no drums necessary for this slow number, which was so hauntingly beautiful that even the spiders in the rafters stopped spinning their webs in order to listen to Jazzie's delicate alto,
"Mon Dieu! Mon Dieu! Mon Dieu!
Laissez-le-moi
Encore un peu
Mon amoureux!
Un jour, deux jours, huit jours
Laissez-le-moi
Encore un peu
À moi
Le temps de s'adorer
De se le dire
Le temps de se fabriquer
Des souvenirs
Mon Dieu! Oh oui, mon Dieu!
Laissez-le-moi
Remplir un peu
Ma vie
Mon Dieu! Mon Dieu! Mon Dieu!
Laissez-le-moi
Encore un peu
Mon amoureux
Six mois, trois mois, deux mois
Laissez-le-moi
Pour seulement
Un mois
Le temps de commencer
Ou de finir
Le temps des illuminer
Ou de souffrir
Mon Dieu! Mon Dieu! Mon Dieu!
Même si j'ai tort
Laissez-le-moi
Un peu
Même si j'ai tort
Laissez-le-moi
Encore!"
(Mon Dieu by Edith Piaf)
Jazzie finished her song and was greeted with silence. Her eyes quickly scanned the room and landed upon Munkustrap. He was pressing his finger and thumb to either side of his lips, as though trying to hold something in, and even in the dim light she could see that his eyes were glistening. Despite only knowing a little French, he had clearly understood every word. And those words had hit a number of nerves. "Oh no!" she thought. "I didn't mean to upset you, my love!"
But before she could beat a hasty departure, the audience began to clap, quietly at first, but then the clapping built into cheers, along with the mass wiping of eyes. Jazzie smiled with relief. "Sank you very much!" she declared. "And now it is time, ladies and gentletoms, for ze band we have all been waiting for. Please welcome, Beni Spears and The Rafters!"
She and her band exited the stage as a rather scruffy group of tom cats, fronted by a gruff looking Khao Manee she-cat, marched onto it, to great excitement from the crowd.
Beni Spears was a blinding white and as she sang, her odd coloured eyes flashed blue and amber, while the crowd obediently danced and sang along to the well known songs.
"Good girls are pretty like all the time
I'm just pretty some of the time
Good girls are happy and satisfied
I won't stop asking until I die
I just can't deal with the rules
I can't take the pressure
It's got me saying ooh, yeah...
Who's that girl that you dream of?
Who's that girl that you think you love?
Who's that girl, well I'm nothing like her
I know there's no such girl
I swear I can't take the pressure
Who's that girl?
Good girls don't say no or ask you why
I won't let you love me until you really try
Good girls are sexy like everyday
I'm only sexy when I say it's okay
I just can't deal with the rules
I can't take the pressure, oh no
It's got me saying ooh, yeah...
Who's that girl that you dream of?
Who's that girl that you think you love?
Who's that girl, what if I'm nothing like her
I know there's no such girl
I swear I can't take the pressure
Who's that girl?
Let's play a game that you've never tried
You be the girl and I'll be the guy
Let's pretend everything has changed, and then
Would you love me any different?
I just can't deal with the rules
I can't take the pressure, oh no
Who's that girl?
Who's that girl that you dream of?
Who's that girl that you think you love?
Who's that girl, what if I'm nothing like her
I know there's no such girl
I swear I can't take the pressure
Who's that girl?
Who's that girl?
Who's that girl that you dream of?
Who's that girl that you think you love?
Who's that girl, what if I'm nothing like her
I know there's no such girl
I swear I can't take the pressure
Who's that girl?"
(Who's That Girl by Robyn)
While this was going on, Jazzie fought her way through the tightly packed, jostling bodies, towards the open arms of her Silver Statue and gratefully sank into them, feeling him holding her tightly for what seemed like an eternity. He was shaking. Slowly, she looked up and noticed a single tear had managed to escape from his aqua gold eyes, so she carefully wiped it away, giggling as he gave her a sad smile and delicately kissed her. "Wow, Jazz," he whispered. "Just...wow! Bast woman! What are you trying to do to me?"
"Was my performance up to standard?" she enquired.
"Like liquid diamonds, my dear," he wholeheartedly approved. "I have literally run out of goosebumps!"
"I love you so much!" she cried.
"I love you too," he replied. "Shall we dance?"
"Oh yes!" She said excitedly, bouncing up and down. "J'adore zis song also!"
But while they danced, they didn't notice someone in the corner watching them.
"Somebody said you got a new friend
Does she love you better than I can?
There's a big black sky over my town
I know where you're at, I bet she's around
Yeah, I know it's stupid
I just gotta see it for myself
I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her, ohh
I'm right over here, why can't you see me, ohh
I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the girl you're taking home, ooo
I keep dancing on my own (I keep dancing on my own)
I'm just gonna dance all night
I'm all messed up, I'm so out of line
Stilettos and broken bottles
I'm spinning around in circles
I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her, ohh
I'm right over here, why can't you see me, ohh
I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the girl you're taking home, ooo
I keep dancing on my own (I keep dancing on my own)
So far away, but still so near
The lights go on, the music dies
But you don't see me standing here
I just came to say goodbye
I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her, ohh
I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the girl you're taking home, ohh
I keep dancing on my own (I keep dancing on my own)
I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her, ohh
I'm right over here, why can't you see me, ohh
I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the girl you're taking home, ooo
I keep dancing on my own (I keep dancing on my own)
I keep dancing on my own."
(Dancing On My Own by Robyn)
The song finally ended and the out of breath couple made their way over to where a few of their party was seated around a small table. Without saying a word, Munkustrap swiftly snatched the glass of champagne out of Bombalurina's paw and replaced it with a glass of water, before emptying the contents of the champagne glass into a nearby saxophone that was mounted on the wall. To say that the Somali Queen was a bit miffed was an understatement. In fact, she positively snarled at him and fixed him with a filthy glare! "Spoil sport!" she hissed.
"Someone has to be!" he scolded.
"Well if you carry on fussing over me, they're bound to twig!" she snapped. "Plus, it's my body!"
"They're MY kittens!" He snapped back, rounding on her.
She looked away and cast her eyes down. Munkustrap sighed and said more gently, "Look, I'm sorry my dear. I am concerned for you, that's all."
"Yeah well, I don't need a babysitter. I can look after myself, thanks!" She replied narkily.
"I don't doubt that," he reasoned. "But you will soon have more than yourself to look after and that is what worries me, judging by your track record."
"And what is THAT supposed to mean?" She shouted.
"You know full well what I mean, Bombalurina!" He responded just as forcefully.
She noted that he had used her full name to show that he was deadly serious. Well when wasn't he? "I am worried that you will get the urge to run away again," he said, once again adopting a softer tone. "Promise me you'll not abandon these ones, for I do not relish the thought of becoming a single father for a second time, particularly as Jennyanydots and Jellylorum have their own paws full."
"If you must know, I'm scared…" she admitted nervously.
He took hold of her paw under the table and gave it a squeeze. "What of?" he asked.
"That I won't be good enough!" She said honestly. "Hell, I failed at being a mother once, who's to say it won't happen again? I guess I thought that if I pretended it wasn't happening, then maybe I won't have to deal with it."
Munkustrap gave her a stark reply that was typical of him, especially when emotions were running high. Blunt and to the point! "Well, you're going to have to start dealing with it, because soon it's going to be blindingly obvious and that lot will start asking questions!"
He nodded towards the party of Jellicles, and continued, "With regards to motherhood, I need you to stop worrying about whether or not you will be good enough. Allow yourself to acknowledge the life that is growing inside of you as a miraculous and wonderful thing, then maybe you can start to love it, and thenperhaps you'll want to take better care of it?That will be good enough!"
She to concede, he had a fair point! "Thanks Munk!" She said, leaning over and affectionately kissing him on the cheek.
He smiled back. "My pleasure," he replied, bringing their conversion to a positive conclusion. "How about I get us some more water...?"
"That would be-" Bombalurina didn't get any further.
He was about to go to the bar again when suddenly she let out a gasp. "Is everything alright?" he asked, his fur standing on end.
"My tummy hurts!" She grimaced and doubled over, clutching her abdomen.
"Huh! What's happening?" she screamed.
She reached down. And when she brought her paw back up, she stared at it in horror. It was covered in blood. She shook her head in disbelief. "No...!" She cried.
She looked wildly at Munkustrap. "Munkustrap do something!" she pleaded.
"Alright..." he said calmly, holding her shoulders and trying to sound like he was in control of things, when inwardly he was panicking just as much as she was!
"Try not to panic," he told her. "You'll only make it worse."
Then he whistled loudly. "Jazzie!" He called.
"Oui?" Asked Jazzie destractedly.
But on hearing his urgent tone, she was alert in an instant. "What's wrong?" She asked, concerned.
"Bombi's in trouble!" Munkustrap explained.
"Sacrebleu!" Jazzie exclaimed, after she had examined the Somali Queen. "We need to get her to ze Infirmary, asap!"
"I'll call Mistoffelees," said Munkustrap.
"MISTO!" He hollared. "MISTOFFELEES! Over here!"
He gesticulated for his son to come over. And eventually he did, rather reluctantly. But on seeing the tension and panic in the eyes of his mother and father, he immediately sobered up, just as Jazzie had done. "What's wrong?" he asked.
"It's Bombalurina," Jazzie explained.
"The kittens-?" He started to ask, looking concerned.
"I cannot say for certain," said Jazzie urgently. "But what is for certain is zat she needs to get to ze Infirmary, RIGHT NOW."
Mistoffelees dutifully nodded. Then he produced a red cloth from seemingly nowhere and shook it out. "I can conjure us there," he said. "But I can only take a maximum of two cats, including myself."
"Take her," said Jazzie. "Ze rest of us will meet you zere!"
The magician saluted. "Will do, Ma'am!" He replied, and set to work.
"Say what's going on?" slurred Rum Tum Tugger as he materialised from the crowd. "Not leaving already are you, Bomba? You haven't danced with the Beast yet!"
Munkustrap glared at him. "For your information, Brother, your mate is-" he started to sharply explain.
"Pissed as a fart!" Bombalurina interrupted, laughing merrily and swaying slightly, whilst deliberately ignoring the incredulous looks coming from Munkustrap, Mistoffelees and Jazzie.
"Yeah, that's right!" She continued. "Too much champers for this lady. Mistoffelees here is just taking me for a little lie down, isn't that right sweetie? Ciao babes!"
She gave Rum Tum Tugger a little wave and before he could argue, blew him a kiss and vanished along with Mistoffelees in a shower of blue stars. Munkustrap shook his head. "Un-fucking-believable!" He muttered.
Then he grabbed The Charcoal Bengcoon before he could do another vanishing act. "Make yourself useful!" He ordered. "Round everyone up, tell them we're leaving!"
Rum Tum Tugger started to laugh, "Youmight be bro-!"
"I SAID WE'RE LEAVING!" Munkustrap roared.
Rum Tum Tugger took an immediate step back from his brother's blast of rage, holding up his paws in a vain attempt to shield himself. "Alright! Keep your mullet on Duran Duran!" He complained. "Jeesh! I'll go round up the gang. Just say it, don't have to spray it!" And with that, he practically flew into the crowd.
Munkustrap glared after him; thinking that he had better or his life wouldn't be worth living! When all of a sudden he felt a chill on the back of his neck, making his fur stand on end. However, this had occurred enough times now for him to know exactly what was behind him. "And they say bad luck comes in threes..." he muttered again.
With a sickening sense of dread, he braced himself for yet more bad news and slowly turned around, finding himself face to face with the ghost of a huge slate blue Maine Coon. "Poseidon. What bodes?" he asked.
"Sorry to bother you Sir," said the ghost. "But the Golden Calico is in trouble out front."
"Demeter…!" He gasped.
Without stopping to thank the ghost, he turned and ran for the entrance; having to leap over dancing couples and hop across shoulders in order to get there. Several cats snarled angrily and turned to cuff whoever had rudely stepped on them, but before they even had a chance to, he had already disappeared. He was in such a hurry that he almost crashed into Alonzo in his haste! "Lonz! Help Tugger gather everyone together," he instructed. "YOU are in charge of their safety! There is trouble out front, no time to explain…!"
"Yeah, but, what-?"
Alonzo didn't get a chance to finish, because Munkustrap had already gone.