Chapter Twenty-one
Mirrors
Tell me you love me,
Come back and haunt me,
Oh, let's go back to the start.
She didn't expect to feel this empty without him.
World turned bleak, sun lost it's shine, and the night was full of terrors. It'd been weeks since their fight. It'd been so long that snow melted away and flowers sprang up from cracks in the pavement.
Blair had always considered herself a whole person, someone already complete. Life had been a roller coaster since birth and she always saw herself as an independent woman, completely in control of her emotions. That's why she put on her own simple clothes that morning, wearing it like a scarlet letter.
Simple white long sleeved shirt and simple jeans. No-name shoes. No make up. Georgina's high-end silken shirts were left in the closet, untouched. She passed a brush through her curls and blinked at the reflection in a mirror. Chuck's face appeared in it and she blinked again.
It was gone.
How could her whole sentiment depend on entirely different human being, she didn't know. The fact was frustrating, even more so that Chuck took away her sleep and rest. He was in shadows of the corners of her room, in faces of random passerby, in images on TV. There was a new feeling in her chest, something she got the nick of in the past, while they were still together. It used to tug at her when he was dropping her home and Blair watched his limo disappear behind the corner.
Together, the word echoed in her mind and her eyes stung. She gulped down the tears, as she often did these days.
Now, the feeling was hundredfolds worse. That strange heavy ache was like a hook around her heart, dragging it down with colossal weight.
She missed Chuck. She missed him so much it shook her whole body. Her eyes searched for his face in the crowd; restlessly, obsessively. It afforded both pain and pleasure and she was drunk on it. Instead of sleeping, she replayed the sweet past and memories they shared. It was like laying down in bed of thorny roses, slowly bleeding to death and yet relishing in the scent. He was always so gentle with her, so caring. Chuck was her secret hero and she turned him into a monster.
''How are you?'' Asked Nate, sliding in the booth next to her. He was finally back, after having been missing for few weeks. She tried to smile, but it didn't reach her eyes.
This floor of Constance building was desolate and solitude was what she sought the most these days. Chatter of people invaded her mind and interrupted her daydreams. Blair would often daydream of inventing time machine and going back to the start, the day when he almost ran her over with a car.
She would be honest with him, Blair thought. She would tell him everything and build their relationship on trust and truth. That's what he deserved.
It was too late now. She was already a liar in his eyes and it should stay that way. She should stay away from him. Real monster was inside of her, dressed in Georgina's clothes and made-up stories of prestigious life.
Blair shrugged her shoulders and flipped the page of a book she wasn't actually reading. She couldn't bear to look at Nate. He reminded her of Chuck too much.
''He knows,'' Nate said, giving her a sidelong glance. The sentence petrified her and she held her breath. ''Chuck knows everything.''
She froze.
''He came to me yesterday, we talked. He regrets everything.''
Darkness fell over her eyes and once again she leaned back in the dejected mood from earlier. ''Good.''
Hurt settled over her skin. He set things right with Nate, but not with her. He didn't even look at her, Chuck did nothing to acknowledge her presence - even being in the same room. Her phone had no messages or missed calls. Sometimes he'd show up for class, sometimes not. Chuck went back to his glorious old days of Prince of Night.
He could have at least called. Would she have answered?
Masochistic side of her smiled bitterly. ''I'm happy for you.''
''That's all?'' Nate's eyes widened in surprise.
''What do you want me to say?'' She snapped, but quickly recovered, clearing her throat. Her voice was calculatingly calm and collected. Despite that, fire burned through her flesh and new set of tears threatened to pull to her eyes. ''He talked to you and didn't bother to talk to me.''
''Give him some time.''
She didn't reply, but stared at her book. Lines of complicated diagrams swam in front of her eyes, crawling over the page and finally formed a name.
Chuck.
She shut the book with a loud thud, giving the cover an evil eye. Blair didn't know why she was still holding on to stupid hope. She blamed Penelope for that, who was for some idiotic, delirious reason so convinced Chuck would come back to her and that it would all work out. But as weeks passed, even she didn't sound so convincing anymore.
Nate left and she finally gathered strength to get up. Blair tugged at the hem of her shirt, the material scratching her skin underneath. It was so itchy and uncomfortable.
A woman with honey hair wrapped in an elegant chignon hurried over the courtyard out on the street. Her coat was woolly and beige, matched in nude Louboutin stilettos. Blair admired her graceful step and pleasing lines of the face. She must have been slightly younger than her mother, but her beauty was unquestionable. That wasn't the reason she caught Blair's attention, though. The campus was sometimes visiting place of rich parents of privileged Manhattan youth.
It was the eyes. Something about them rooted Blair to spot. They were dark and slightly slanted. Penetrating. Magnetic.
A limo was waiting for her and she entered. Golden bracelet fell on the street floor from her slender arm, but woman saw nothing. Blair ran to catch her attention, but it was too late. Car already started and drove off to line in the street. Without thinking, she quickly picked up the golden bracelet from the floor and hailed a taxi. Immediately, one pulled over and she urged, ''Follow that limo!''
The driver grinned, excitement in his eyes, ''I've always wanted to hear that.''
She breathed out, looking amazedly at the elegant bracelet in her hands. Twisting it around, gold caught sunlight and shone in her iris. Letters C were imprinted on the surface, sign for Cartier. It was beautiful. Blair checked to see if the limo was still in sight - it was. She sighed in relief and stared at the bracelet.
She could have taken it and sold it. She could still do it. It was worth thousands of dollars. It would buy her some real expensive clothes and make up, not what she was wearing now. If she played her cards right, she'd give some money to her parents. Some to Dan for his debt. Possibilities were endless.
That wasn't her, though. Possibilities were endless, but not at all tempting. This belonged to someone else. Someone else worked hard for it and bought it. This wasn't hers. But one day, she'd buy one for herself.
''Here we are.'' Car stopped and she saw the woman disappear behind mahogany doors in a row of expensive townhouses.
She fiddled around for dollar bills, very quickly splitting her savings from work at hotel in half. Blair slowly walked the street as the cab drove off, gazing at every house with anxiety and delight. They were immense, with multiple floor and probably a back yard. She saw a wide shiny crystal chandelier through windows of one house and imagined herself living there. It must be gorgeous inside. Spacey and luxurious.
An image flashed across her mind; Chuck and her, holding hands and sitting at the plush cushion on windowsill in one of the houses. She was leaned on his chest and he was holding her tightly, ever so often kissing the top of her head.
Tears welled up in her eyes and she blinked them away, willing herself to breathe deeply.
She finally came up to the mahogany doors and rang a bell. An older maid with crooked nose and freckles over her wrinkled skin opened the doors, polite smile on her face. One look at Blair's clothes and her smile died out, eyes distrustful. ''Yes?''
Blair lifted her chin up proudly, ''I'd like to speak to the owner of this house.''
''What for?''
'''I have something of theirs,'' She answered, clutching the bracelet hidden in her pocket.
Maid seemed to consider this, ''Very well. You can give it to me and I'll pass it on.''
Blair smiled tightly. She didn't trust this woman. Mother always talked about servants stealing from their patrons, even though she was cleaner herself. ''I'd rather give it to them personally.''
''Marlene,'' Gentle voice asked from behind the doors. ''Is that Charles?''
Marlene opened the doors and let Blair through. She walked into grand lobby with majestically tall ceiling. On the side was wide spiral staircase with ebony banister. Amazed with the splendor, she came face to face with the woman. Her coat was gone, revealing a classy royal blue sheath dress. Blair pulled on the hem of Target shirt, feeling herself small and irrelevant.
''Welcome,'' The woman's voice was melodic, but her neatly plucked eyebrows were slightly furrowed. ''Can I help you?''
''Sorry to bother you, but I believe this is yours,'' Blair carefully took a bracelet out of her pocket and handed it to her. ''You accidentally dropped this in front of Constance. I saw you right before driving off. ''
''Oh, my goodness!'' Woman gasped and put the bracelet on, laughing a little. ''My husband would kill me if I lost it. He hates shopping and I hate going alone to Cartier. Going with your loved one always makes buying jewelry more romantic, instead of making it what it really is - a need to make us look better than our friends. Don't you think?''
Blair had never related to anything less, but still she smiled involuntarily at the speech. There was something in the air of this woman that was unlike any other rich socialite or trophy wife she met.
''Thank you,'' She offered her hand. ''I'm Evelyn.''
''Blair,'' Responded shaking it, still mesmerized by her eyes.
Evelyn cocked head and examined her more closely. ''You must be a freshman at Constance, right?''
''Yes,'' Blair answered in surprise, ''Quite perceptive of you.''
''I'm part of the parental committee, maybe I saw you before.'' Evelyn shrugged, but Blair was doubtful. Blair vaguely wondered if she knew her son or daughter. ''Come on in, have a tea with me. That's the least I can do for you.''
''You're too kind,'' Replied Blair, after shocked pause. She would never expect this invitation, but it was still flattering. ''I have to go, though.''
''Nonsense, the traffic is terrible now,'' Evelyn walked to living room and Blair had no choice but to follow her. She was still completely hypnotized by her. ''I want to get to know you.''
They sat at the white English satin sofa with golden pillows. It sank under her and Blair relished in the smell of sandalwood that spread through the room. Marlene brought the tray with tea, milk, sugar, scones and range of cakes. Bowl of fresh strawberries reddened in juiciness. Maid flashed a smile that was meant to be apologizing and Blair took a cup. The living room was full of light, such contrast to her stiffly small apartment in basement. There was a row of pictures on grand piano, but they were too far for Blair to see.
''What's your major?'' Evelyn asked curiously, looking her in the eyes. Blair felt slightly uncomfortable under this scrutiny that was supposed to be subtle, but didn't escape her.
''Management.''
''Just like my son,'' She explained with a queer smile on her face. She put her smooth hand on Blair's knee as if they knew each other for years, instead of minutes. ''Did your parents nudge you in that direction?''
Blair smiled sadly, thinking how her parents couldn't tell a difference between management and philosophy. ''No, it was my choice.''
Evelyn lifted her eyebrows impressively and breathed in deeply, staring at the piano. ''I wanted my son to study architecture. I always thought it would look good on him.'' She frowned, ''But his father pressed him to study this, because of his job.''
Blair felt a pang of sympathy for her son. All of a sudden, she wished to know him. Maybe they'd get along. Pressure of parents was something she was familiar with. She imagined her future with anyone other than Chuck and suddenly felt sick to her stomach.
''Blair, are you on a diet?'' Asked Evelyn with concern in her eyes. ''You haven't touched anything.''
''Food is delicious,'' Blair shook her head and rose slowly. ''But you'll have to excuse me. I must be going now.''
At that moment, somebody entered the main doors and Chuck walked in the living room. He casually took off his coat and handed it to Marlene without a word. She stiffened as realization hit her.
''Is that Charles?''
''My son is studying Management.''
This was his mother.
Color rose to her cheeks as she met his eyes.
Chuck was the oppressed son?
This was his house and she was having tea with his mother?
Some strange energy passed between them and she suppressed a shudder. They were so close. It'd been weeks since they were in the same room together. He looked good, as usual, but there was something in circles under his eyes and heaviness of lids that implied he probably was up last night and slept through the day.
''Charles,'' Evelyn rose and motioned towards her, ''You know Blair.''
It wasn't a question. It was a statement. He glued his eyes from her and she felt oxygen go out the lungs into air. Her heart beat wildly, deafening the sounds in the room. She wanted to hear his voice. Blair kept daydreaming about their conversations, but the sound of his voice was slowly distorting, slipping away from her memory. She needed to hear it again, not to ever forget it.
''I was on a board meeting at Constance and lost my bracelet. Blair was so kind to return it to me.''
Chuck didn't say anything, he simply nodded, his lips tight. Evelyn smirked and Blair realized she knew. Evelyn didn't invite her for tea to say thank you, she must have known about her. That meant Chuck talked about her to his mother. Something in her chest stirred at this thought and she gripped the sleeves of her Target shirt. She needed to get away.
''Thank you for the tea,'' She heard herself say in surprisingly calm voice. ''But I really must be going.''
''Charles will take you,'' Evelyn quickly injected, looking at her son intently. Their eyes were the same; dark and slanted, close to eyebrows. Blair was an idiot for not connecting the dots earlier. She could have avoided all of this. ''Won't you, Charles?''
''No need, really,'' She clipped, panic overwhelming her at thought of them sitting together in small space.
''Oh, he will,'' Evelyn persisted, lines of her mouth set in small frown. ''He will drop you off and come have dinner with me. Instead of lunch, as he promised to do so today.''
''I insist,'' She repeated for good measure. ''It was a delight to have you, Blair. Maybe we can have lunch next time.''
Blair thought it would be impolite to reject a woman like Evelyn. So she simply nodded, and followed him out the doors, breathing rapidly. She was looking at back of his head and clutching her purse tightly. The urge to melt herself into him was stronger than ever. They were near his limo, none of them said a word. She dug her nails in skin, pain distracting from turmoil inside her chest. ''You don't have to do this.''
Chuck said nothing to acknowledge her, his face impassive. He merely opened the doors of the limo and walked to the other side, getting in.
Blair waited, her fingers numb and hot with panic. Limo evoked so many memories of them, it was like walking to the belly of the beast. They shared so many kissed here, caresses and stolen glances. It was like she was transported to back then, all of her buried feelings rose to surface and her chest bloomed with tenderness. She slid in, careful not to touch him. Blair's gaze flicked towards him just as he looked away from her.
They were acting like strangers.
She willed herself to calm down and remember the fact that he knew nothing happened between her and Nate. What was she afraid of then? Of him begging her to forgive him or never bothering to talk to her ever again?
Still, she waited for him to say something. Space was filled with tension. Why wouldn't he say something? Blair anxiously waited for him to look at her. She needed him to talk to her. Blair was ready to sacrifice herself to him. Her whole body ached for him. She was ready to defy her resolution and lose herself in his touch.
Chuck did nothing. They rode in painful silence to her block. Limo pulled up and she expectantly turned her head towards him. His profile struck her like a cannon ball. He had the charm of a fallen angel. His straight nose, his dark eyes and curved mouth formed a picture of damnable beauty.
He was so perfect it hurt her to look at him, like looking at the sun. Still, she did and she waited.
Nothing happened. Her heart broke all over again. He knew nothing happened with Nate, he got back together with his best friend. What about her? Didn't he want to get back with her?
After the silence grew uncomfortable, she opened the doors and angrily got out. Tears welled in her eyes and for once, she let them flow. As she entered the house, spell seemed to break off. Blair caught the sight of herself in the mirror. It was no wonder he didn't talk to her. Her clothes were ugly. She smelled like basic detergent. She looked like a divorced mom of three who didn't get a wink of sleep.
Blair quickly looked away. She was faced with her tiny apartment with windows that looked at people's feet. Moldy corners. Shabby couch. Non-matching chairs.
''Your father is picking up the trash,'' Mother could be heard from their make-shift kitchen. ''Come and help me with potatoes.''
Her heart throbbed and bled. She trembled at what she had almost done in the limo, she was ready to let herself back in Chuck's life. She was ready and he blew her off. Rightly so, because she could never face him with the truth and he deserved nothing but love and honestly
Blair bit her lip and swore to never allow herself such weakness again.
''I know that look,'' Pointed Evelyn, pausing to cut through stake. ''Your father often wore it. I want to talk, but don't bother me because I'm not ready to.''
''We're the ones that ruin everything, right?'' Chuck whispered and let go of his fork.
Bart cheated on Evelyn, Chuck did something worse to Blair. He didn't trust her, pushed her away and the last conversation struck him vividly. The words he spat at her while she cried to believe her, burned through him like acid and he had a problem gulping down his food. He fingered the edge of wine glass, his eyes distant. ''We don't talk or listen. Then all of a sudden, we want everything to be perfect.''
She nodded and cocked her head. Mother noticed there was tension between him and Blair. Hell, even Marlene asked if the girl survived the ride back home. ''But it all starts by wanting it to be perfect.''
Mother didn't remark anything about Blair, which he took as a good sign. He was stupefied when he saw them having tea together. Not even his twisted mind would be capable of imagining such scenario.
He fell in love with her all over again.
There was a pause where they resumed eating and it took a while for Chuck to finally admit what he'd been thinking all along.
''For the first time,'' He said with thick voice, not used to talking about emotional stuff. Conversations were always superficial and shallow; with his friends, colleagues and even parents. Only Blair ever managed to get the softer side from him. Now, if he closed his eyes, he could imagine her there and it was easier to say the words. ''For the first time, I tried to win over somebody's heart. I hurt her while trying to do so.''
Evelyn dropped her utensil completely and stared at this side of son that she never saw before, drinking it in and absorbing it as if it was sunlight. She squeezed his hand and encouraged him to continue, something she'd never done before.
''I never cared about anything like this. I don't know what to do or how to fix it.''
He pondered the ride with her that day and shut his eyes in frustration. He should have talked to her. They were finally alone and her presence consumed him entirely. He should have told her that he missed her, but he couldn't bring herself to face her. Shame of his destructive nature still clung to him. Sins of his fathers were like a black stain that was impossible to get rid of. He was no shining knight.
He noticed her eyes boring into him the whole ride and he ignored her, too afraid to hurt her again. Afraid she was seeing only those sins.
He remembered the helicopter ride and wonder in her eyes as she looked at him. Her kisses, her small satisfied sighs on his skin.
He was an idiot. He should have talked to her. She was too important to him. That's why he was so hesitant to apologize. He was scared he'd ruin it all again. But he had to try, he had to win her back. Chuck rose hastily and dropped his napkin. ''Mother, I have to go.''
Evelyn nodded with understanding smile. ''Go get her.''
Chuck drove to her home. He got out of the limo and noticed Serena's cleaner in front of Blair's building. The cleaner seemed to notice him too. Her eyes widened and she scurried back in the building. After couple of minutes, Blair got out. He watched her small frame, doe like eyes and chocolate curls that cascaded down her slender shoulders. He thought about kissing the top of her head, tip of her nose and the crook of her neck.
Her eyes were defiant the moment she approached him and something in his mind screamed trouble. Despite the signs, he was determined to make things right again. He had been waiting too long.
''Why did you come?'' She asked with cold voice, her arms crossed.
Sun was setting behind them, casting an orange hue across her pale skin. Shadows fell across her eyes and she seemed tired, exhausted. ''I came to tell you what I couldn't before. I want to tell you only one thing-''
''I don't want to hear it,'' She said briskly, jutting out her chin. ''You should go.''
''I need you,'' He urged, all the pent up desire and passion overflowing and clouding his mind. He ignored the way her words stung, his hands clenched at his side. But she was quiet, looking somewhere at the left of his head. ''Do you hear me? Blair, I want you. I want you back so much it hurts. I'm sorry, about everything.''
She was so still, he didn't know if she was even listening to him. His heart beat in anticipation. Wind ruffled her hair and stuck to her lips. She brushed it off hastily. ''Go away,'' Her voice was thick, yet the iciness of it didn't escape him. ''We're done.''
''Why?'' He asked wretchedly, though the answer flashed in his mind. He was the one to blame. He had his chance and he gambled it away. Sins of his fathers were like a dark matter in his body, coursing through veins, mixing with blood and poisoning it. She didn't want him anymore.
''Why?'' He asked again, more urgent and desperate. Under the power of her cold stare, he broke down, reduced to doing what he never did. Chuck Bass begged. ''No, don't do this. Blair, please.''
Something glistened on her lower eyelash and she turned around to go. Fear gripped him at the thought of losing her and Chuck grabbed her arm in desperation to keep her close. Her skin was cold at the touch. A tear slid off her cheek, escaping her steely resolve. He stiffened at the expression on her face.
It reminded him of that time when he was five and for the first and only time, he saw his mother cry. Evelyn cried because of Bart.
Chuck slowly let her go, the fact that it was him she was crying because, numbed him completely. Was he his father? Revulsion filled every nerve in him. He watched her go, her arms around her small waist.
Whole world crashed on his shoulders and he sank where all lost souls go - in the embrace of alcohol. He took his regular spot at the bar. Barmen didn't even wait for the order, he slid a glass of scotch to him. Despite being the middle of the week, Tropic was full. He drank glass by glass, downed memory by memory, kiss by kiss, laugh by laugh. Blair was all he had and he lost it.
There was something foul in him that ruined every good thing he had.
His lips ached with her absence. He needed her. He needed her gentle touch, her small musical laugh. He needed her warmth.
Someone embraced his shoulder and strong perfume invaded his senses. Chuck looked up. A girl his age in short black dress smiled at him, her brown curls framing her oval face.
Blair had heart-shaped face. Blair's lips were full and luscious, not over-lined with red rouge. Memory of passionate kisses in his limo flashed and he found himself snaking his arm across the waist of this girl. She mumbled something in his ear, lightly biting his earlobe. He needed to feel warmth again.
They stumbled into the lobby of Bass penthouse and he leaned on the wall, hazy with scotch in his system.
Sometimes, he'd see Blair and she'd lean in to kiss him wearing that devilish smirk of hers. The kiss would be too sloppy, too rough and he'd open his eyes to find this stranger in his arms. He breathed out, unbuttoning his shirt. The girl dropped her purse on the small table and went to stand in front of lobby mirror. She grinned lazily to herself in the reflection and fixed her hair, admiring her own figure.
Vain.
Flashback gripped his body and he saw Blair, looking herself in the mirror with horrifying expression. In agony of tears, she sank down on the floor and sobbed. He hugged her and carried her upstairs. Chuck watched her sleep all night.
A butterfly with gilded wings.
It was the night when everything went down. Shudder went through his body, sobering him up.
This girl, this stranger, turned towards him and he felt disgust. He let go of his shirt and pinched the bridge of his nose. What the hell was he doing?
''Get out,'' He unceremoniously muttered and went to the bedroom with shoulders hunched, completely ignoring her stunned face. He buried his face in sateen pillow, trying to imagine Blair's scent there. Within minutes, he was asleep.
''Are you coming to class?'' Serena called in the morning. Chuck had been absent these past few days and it worried her. Nate was still mad at her so nobody was actually there, except Paige.
''What?'' he asked groggily, still drunk from last night, sprawled in his bed.
''It's finals week soon,'' She reminded him, vaguely wondering if he even knew that.
''Serena,'' Chuck sighed annoyed, ''Give me a break.''
He hung up. Serena anxiously stared at her phone. At that time, approached Penelope with a scowl.
''Did you tell everyone I aborted?'' She demanded quietly, furious.
Serena rolled her eyes, aware of the fact that she accidentally told Paige and Paige told everyone. Nevertheless, Penelope was last person on her mind to worry. Chuck and Nate came first but apparently, they both ignored her. The fact was a knife in her gut.
''Serena,'' Warned Nate as he came up and the knife twisted further. She gulped the bile in her throat. This was the first time he spoke to her in days. Nate decidedly kicked her out of his life, didn't hear from him since she cried at his doorstep.
Her instinct was to hug him and bury her face in his shoulder. Not now. She couldn't forget the way he ignored her calls, the way they don't hang out anymore, the way they don't talk. It was like they were never even friends.
''What?'' She pursed her lips. ''You're all good and I'm the bad guy here?''
She scoffed, thinking how she was the only one that lost both of her best friends and took the fall when everyone else had a part in it and got to keep their friends. ''Didn't you two betray your friends? Didn't you abandon Blair when that auditorium thing happened, Penelope?''
Penelope's eyes glued to the ground and Serena breathed in, gathering courage to meet Nate's eyes. ''And you, Nate? Didn't you hide that stick from Chuck?''
There was a dead silence, the sound of students bustling about around them. ''Why won't you answer? You can't.''
She looked at them with narrowed eyes ''I'm sick of being the main villain,'' and stormed off. Nate absentmindedly nodded, as if considering something that made him want to gag. He picked up the phone and dialed the number of personal IT.
''Hey, Michael, I was wondering... Can you retrieve delete data on computer? Can you come over then, tomorrow? Great, thanks man.''
Blair caught his eyes and picked up her step. Her shoes echoed in the hall and she knew he was following her. Elevator was not far away and for a moment, she thought she might succeed and avoid him. Blair got in and pressed third floor when he rushed in immediately after, doors closing behind them.
Chuck pressed the red button and her insides jolted as the lift stopped. The space was so small her coat sleeve brushed his side. His coral bow-tie matched perfectly her coral coat, she realized with a roll of her eyes.
''Glad to see you're enjoying my presence,'' He drawled, looking down at her.
''Move,'' She glared at him, wanting to undo that red button without touching him. She wasn't able to get a wink of sleep last night. His confession kept replaying in her mind, along with Moon River song in the background.
''Make me,'' Me retorted with a smirk, leaning on the wall and boldly staring at her.
God, he was so handsome. Ever since he came to see her, urge to kiss him pulsed like a fever through her. She gulped down the attraction to the challenge.
Blair sighed in annoyance and turned away from him, only to face a mirror across whole side of elevator. She pointedly stared at her own reflection, but couldn't escape his eyes even here. They haunted her, tempting her with promises of finest bliss a life could offer.
''Fine. Turn away from me,'' He said with that husky voice of his, sending shivers down her spine. ''But I'll still be here.''
Their eyes clashed in the reflection of the mirror and she looked away immediately. Butterflies in her stomach fluttered to life. It was almost impossible to resist him. Her voice was thick as she said, ''Don't do this.''
He approached closer, his breath on her neck. She closed her eyes, trying to hold on to the resolve.
Wait, what was that resolve again?
He deserves better, she repeated to herself. The words were now empty and broken and all that was left was longing for him.
''Tell me you feel nothing for me,'' He whispered, his perfume filling the tiny space. She gulped down the desire to turn around and kiss him wildly. ''Tell me that and all will be over.''
Her mouth were dry, tongue rolling against her teeth.
''But tell me the truth.''
The truth? The truth was that she loved him. The truth was that she had been lying to him, ever since they met. The truth was that she was a mess. The truth was that she couldn't force herself to tell the truth and risk losing him completely. He'd never forgive her.
She opened her eyes and watched him draw in a shaky breath. ''Look, Blair...''
Her name on his lips was like a drop of honey. She relished in it and in the way his chest brushed against her back. She clutched the steel rail, cold against her hot skin.
''Push me away as hard as you will, but that still doesn't change anything.''
Their eyes met once again and the sparks filled their skin, setting the hearts on fire.
''I'll always be here for you,'' He leaned in closer, his nose almost touching her cheek. She shut her eyes, her breath clouding the mirror. When she opened them again, he was gone. Her knees buckled and Blair sank down the floor, staring at the spot he just occupied. She breathed out unsteadily. If only she had his courage.