Staying at the Weasley's was wicked. They got to eat 3 meals a day, play quidditch outside, and they even got to sleep in a room! Ron seemed pretty bashful about his room on the first night, but Harry was quick to assure him that it was wicked cool, even if he was a Chudley Cannons fan. Harry didn't actually know any other quidditch teams, he just knew they were bad. His scar told him.

Harry had learned that it was in his best interest to avoid the youngest Weasley child, Ginny. Whenever she saw him, something bad would happen. A week after Harry arrived at the Burrow, she spotted him and sprinted back towards her room. Unfortunately a window got in the way and she dove straight through the glass. She also ran right through a wall in embarrassment, which made Harry even more glad that magic could fix broken objects. After three explosions he started hiding from her all together.

A few days before school was set to begin again, a few owls crashed into the house with letters containing everybody's school lists. By a few, I mean a hundred because there was one for every single Weasley clone. Harry resisted the urge to ask Hedge if she knew any of them.

"Blimey, we are going to be on the streets with all these supplies on the list!" The Weasley who looked like Fred said. Ms Weasley slapped his head with a letter for it.

Harry looked down at his own list and noticed that a lot of books by some bloke named Lockshart. There was for some reason a book called "How to Survive Hogwarts, a 1000000 Step Guide, and Its Not a Scam, You Have to Buy it for Class" ...what?

"Alright, well I suppose its time for all of us to head off!" Ms Weasley dragged Harry out of his seat and to the Weasley sitting room, where they all lined up in front of the fireplace.

"Mum. Harry's never used the floo before!" Ron interjected.

"Oh my. Well, Harry, dear, you can go first." Harry had no idea what they were talking about but he did not want to have the flu, thanks. Before he could say this, however, Ms Weasley shoved a pile of ashes? Into his hand for some reason?

"Now all you have to do is throw the floo powder down and say 'Diagon Alley' and you will find yourself there." Harry didn't really see how that was possible but he would try it anyway. He stepped into the flames and immediately caught on fire.

"WAIT! Throw the powder first dear, oh my. Arthur put him out!" Mrs Weasley yelled and Mr Weasley cast a spell that pulled Harry from the fire and extinguished his burning clothes. Um.

"Maybe I shouldn't go first…" Harry said, patting the soot off himself.

"Nonsense dear, you'll figure it out!" Mrs Weasley insisted and waved back at the fireplace.

Okay then…Harry threw the powder down and stepped in, quickly yelling "FJAB &$^ %T&BFJ!" How did he do that?

Everything turned green and he was suddenly being shot through at high speeds, flying out onto a floor, soot flying everywhere. Harry groaned as he sat up and tried to rub the soot out of his face, looking around. To be completely honest, he had no idea where he was. I don't really know either, it's too dark and dusty. Harry waited for his eyes to adjust and realized he was in a shop of some kind, except this shop was filled with a bunch of torture devices?! Uh oh.

He was about to try to find an exit when a living barbie doll walked inside. He shrunk back into the fireplace he shot out of and realized it was actually just a man and a kid. Wait a minute, that kid… was Draco! Another man appeared from a back room of the store and greeted them.

Harry would like to give them the benefit of the doubt, but he knew that they were just up to no good. Also, this was a shop full of torture devices. And outside of the window was a sign that said 'Evil Alley' which was just a dead give away. Also the barbie doll man had a snake cane which was also evil. Definitely up to no good.

"Father, Harry Potter gets to play quidditch at school, and he's the coolest kid ever in our year. Why can't I? I bet I'm so much better than the chosen one." Draco seemed whinier than usual, and that was saying something.

"Draco, shut your mouth about Potter for one second or I swear to Merlin-" he pinched his nose and Harry really felt for this guy who had to be Draco Malfoy's dad. "You mustn't speak of the hero of the wizarding world so freely, it's unbecoming." ouch, but true.

"Okay, then I'll talk about that filthy mudblood Granger. She's so smart and, like, amazing at magic and hangs out with Harry Potter and I hate it!" Draco whined. His father whacked him with his cane for some reason and Draco started mumbling instead.

"Listen, Borgin. I have to sell all my dark magic stuff because the ministry might raid my house. Imagine that. So yeah I can't have it there when, I mean if they do that. You must take them." The barbie- I mean Draco's father said. He smirked and brushed his platinum, plastic looking hair out of his face and handed a list to Borgin.

"Wow, I guess I'll take them since you asked so nicely." He swiped the list from Malfoy's hand and with that the two blondies left. As soon as the Borgin guy went to the back of the store, Harry made his getaway and walked straight into Evil Alley with no disguise or anything to hide his identity except for a layer of soot. Everyone stared at him immediately. It was either his scar that showed everyone that he was the chosen one or the soot all over his body that was making everyone look.

Harry walked to the book store as soon as he arrived in Diagon Alley, since he saw the red beacon of their hairs from the end of the street.

"Harry! We are so glad you are okay, we thought you had gone into the floo dimension for the rest of eternity!" Harry didn't know what that was, nor did he ever want to. Apparently his expression didn't convey this for Hermione.

"We don't even know how floo powder works! Ignatius Fellows actually theorizes that we are opening wormholes or portals that could collapse our realities as we know it! The public isn't even allowed to know where the floo powder comes from!"

"That's great hermione. Anyway-" Harry walked past Mr Weasley, who was busy harassing Hermione's parents for all their muggle knowledge, and into the book store called Flourish and Blotts. Inside he found who he hoped was Ron standing next to Mrs Weasley in line.

"Oh, there you are Harry. Where did you go?" Ron asked.

"Evil Alley."

"Wicked!" Ron shouted.

Before Harry could share what he had seen in Evil Alley, he was pulled to the front of the shop and a camera was shoved right in his face.

"Everyone! Harry Potter is here to buy my famous books, but I am giving him first edition books, signed by, you guessed it! ME!" The man had curly hair not unlike a suburban muggle mother and was batting his eyelashes at the camera with a practiced smile. He squeezed Harry to his side while holding up one of his books, which he recognized as the ones on the school shopping list. What the. This man was Lockshoot or whatever?

Harry tried to squirm away but the man held on while smiling. This man was deranged, he decided. Absolutely bonkers. Mrs Weasley looked like she was going to faint at the sight of this guy that was manhandling 12 year old Harry.

"As you are all well aware, I presume, I will be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts!" He smiled so wide it looked painful, "Though I'm sure once they have seen my incredible skills I will be promoted to teach every class! I may even become headmaster too, and I'd do it all without breaking a sweat!" Harry didn't believe him, because he was dripping sweat all over Harry. That was his last straw, with a burst of heavenly light, Harry broke free from his grasp. Or maybe that was just a camera flash.

Ms Weasley happily took his pile of books to get them signed while Harry stumbled out to get some air. Unfortunately, male barbie was blocking his path along with his son.

"Famous Chosen One Saint Potter, The Boy Who Lived, gracing our presence once again!" Draco said dramatically. "You enjoy getting your pictures taken?"

"Actually yeah, and its BWL to you." take that, Malfoy!

"Draco, control yourself. We are in the esteemed presence of the BWL…and Weasley," he sneered, looking down at Mr Weasley. It seemed that the hatred that Draco held for Ron wasn't even original. Smh.

Harry rolled his eyes. "Well, if you don't have anything interesting to say, I'm going to get more of my pictures taken."

"Why, I would never stop the BWL from his interviews," Male barbie sneered.

"Leave him alone!" Ginny's high pitched squeak interrupted, startling Malfoy and caused him to drop a book into Ginny's cauldron. This kicked in a domino effect of Arthur seeing Malfoy getting startled and grabbing his long barbie hair in retaliation. Blond Barbie clutched his hair while Mr Weasley grappled with him.

"Unhand me, peasant!" Mr Malfoy shrieked and ripped his head out of Arthur's grasp, a few strands clinging in between his fingers still. He angrily fixed his ruined hair and smacked Draco with his cane. "Come, Draco. Let's leave the blood traitors to roll in the FILTH with the radiant BWL!" And then they just left. Weird.

Hermione walked up to the group to say bye then she left too. Okay. Well they all went back to the Burrow to prepare for school and that's when Harry finally realized that everything this day all actually did happen and it wasn't a weird dream.