Chapter Twenty-Three

Runaway's havoc

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

''This project,'' Announced professor Martha, turning off the projector to conclude lecture, ''Is to be done with upperclassmen.''

Oddly large number of the girls giggled and ooh-ed, evoking an eye roll from stern professor.

''It is not to be taken lightly. As freshmen, you have so much potential to be bent and shaped into an ability to strive and conquer. Constance University is a century old institution that produces only best of the best. Rise to the occasion. You'll find list with the name of the partners on the board in the hallway. Best project gets a nod from the well known Manhattan Management & Entrepreneur society. Good luck.''

Excited murmur filled the large classroom. MME never did any collaboration with schools or universities. They sought out skilled professionals, not fresh academics. Blair squirmed in her seat, already pumped for it. The chance to prove herself was here. With determination in her step, she pushed her way out of the room.

''Blair?'' Asked a lankly looking guy few minutes later, pushing up his glasses with index finger. He adjusted his messenger bag and stretched his hand out. ''I'm Richard Spencer, your new partner.''

Blair tore away her gaze from the pinned sheet with two rows of names and eyed the bag with distasteful, but approving look. It had familiar checkers and a small LV sign. An ugly, but high quality pricey bag. The careless, but expensive outfit and abused bag of books was nothing but a good sign in Constance. It meant the student was a hard-worker, despite coming from money. This was someone who could definitely contribute. She firmly shook his hand, ''Nice to meet you Richard Spencer. Tell me, when do you want to start?''

''Straight to business? Glad to hear that. You can stop by the Management club later, I'm the president and we'll see what to do from there. Is that okay with you?''

Her smile broadened. A president of Management club, very impressive. Something she'd have to run for next year, since freshmen were excluded from that activity. School wanted them to focus on curriculum and understand their own means before committing to other activities. Maybe this guy would be worth keeping around, until he became a rival. Keep your friends close and enemies closer, as the saying goes.

''Works fine with me,'' She smiled smugly. ''I'll stop by after class. See you later, Richard.''

Her new partner smiled crookedly and watched her leave with a surprised and appraising eye. All of a sudden, someone roughly grabbed his shoulder and pulled him aside.

Blair smoothed down any invisible wrinkles on her pepita skirt. She had a break between classes and was too excited to get started on this. Cheerfully entering the empty Management quarters, she set her purse on one of the tables. Richard was nowhere to be seen. Was he running late? She should have asked for his number.

A slam of doors pulled her out of train of thoughts and with most indescribable of shocks, she noticed a figure leaning on the door frame.

''You?'' Blair seethed with narrowed eyes. ''You're-.''

''Your project partner,'' Chuck looked pleased with himself, spreading his arms in that manner that evoked either a roll of the eyes or an applause. Blair chose former option. He sauntered towards her, holding the eye contact, and sat on the edge of the table. With mild curiosity, he picked up her notebook and started examining it more closely. ''No need to look so delighted. Please, hold your enthusiasm for the bedroom.''

She grabbed the item out of his hands, very much aware there were some embarrassing Blair Bass doodles somewhere in there. ''What did you do to Richard? Ran him over with your limo?''

''Richard,'' He spat the name out as if it was something nasty, ''Was assigned a new partner. ''

They stared at each other; one livid, other smug. What was he doing? She really needed this project. It wasn't one of their games, it couldn't be. It was supposed to be her chance for success and secretly, a distraction. A distraction from her love life. Or lack of thereof, to be more precise. She was adamant in pushing him out of her life and starting over, as a punishment for her lies and deceits.

Finally, Blair succumbed, not having strength to resist him further, and turned to leave the room. The doors were locked. She froze, remembering the time they were locked in auditorium. As was always the case when Chuck was around, a wave of emotions overwhelmed her.

''Why don't you answer my calls?'' He asked quietly, opening Project props and skimming through instructions. He flipped the pages loudly, one by one.

''Chuck,'' She gritted through her teeth, clutching the knob feverishly. She couldn't stand to be close to him. Her body would eventually betray her, like that last time at the hospital when she kissed him. Thankfully, he didn't mention that. ''Let me out.''

''What if I was dying? What if I needed some money?''

''Oh, please,'' She couldn't help but to retort and turned around to face him. ''Like you would ever need cash. Except maybe something smaller than a thousand dollar bill. Besides," She added with some dose of bitterness. "Call Nate. Or Serena. She'd come running."'

Chuck's face turned serious and he looked at her in a way that made hair on her neck stand upright. ''We need to talk. It's urgent.''

''Great. Have fun talking to yourself. I have project to do, not your therapy session.'' She shook the knob in frustration and kicked the doors for a good measure. He must be joking. Was he to keep her prisoner? She could hear his steps and feel the warmth radiating from his body as he got close. He didn't touch her. Blair didn't know if she was grateful for it, or thoroughly annoyed.

"Let's make a bargain," He suggested, his breath on her neck. She shut her eyes firmly, her pulse picking up pace. "I'll help you with this project and you'll spare me five minutes of your time."

She held her breath and stood still. Could she do it?

An itch built up somewhere at the back of head. Chuck Bass would not be bad project partner, if committed to it. Besides, she was Blair. She could handle someone like him.

Deep deep down, what she actually wanted was a chance to be close to him without uttering any more lies.

Slowly turning around, she faced him. On closer examination, Blair noticed something was definitely different about him. His posture wasn't as straight, eyes were dark and pleading. Even his cocky humor was off beat.

''Under one condition.''

''Anything,'' He blurted out in relief and in spur of the moment, put his hand on her waist.

That one small gesture was enough to put her skin on fire. The ache for him was fueled and filled every nerve of her body. Flustered and shaken, against her instinct, she slapped his hand away and marched past him to the seat. ''No touching.''

Blair sat down and opened the book with shaky fingers, waiting for him to join. It took him some time, but eventually he sat opposite of her and by then, her hands were calm. They worked on their project with averted gazes and each of them very careful not to touch each other. Finally, when the hour was close to the end, Chuck spoke.

''I have a lot to explain.''

Blair was seemingly carelessly putting notebooks in purse, but her senses were alert.

Chuck pressed his lips together and took a deep breath. ''Everything that we've been through, everything that has happened... It's all my fault.''

Blair chuckled humorlessly and zipped up the bag. ''Bass, April fools is weeks away.''

''Blair,'' He spoke with tight voice, settling his hand over hers to gain her attention. Electric energy pulsed from her hand, through arm, all the way into the racing heart. She pulled back immediately, eyes wary. "I said no touching."

She pressed her hands between thighs to stop them from shaking. Why did she have to be this weak? Why couldn't she get over him?

"I'm sorry," He briskly replied, cracking his knuckles.

Former lovers, now mere strangers.

What was happening? Chuck was never this serious. He clenched his jaw, clearly upset by something and cleared his throat. ''I'm sorry for a lot of things. It all began that night when you were at my place. I didn't believe you. I hurt you.''

Blair stood frozen, staring at his haunted face with a scowl. ''I told you I didn't want to talk about that night. Ever again.''

She remembered his words too perfectly. She remembered how she begged him to believe her, to hear her out. Chuck refused to believe someone slipped her drugs. He scoffed at her pleads and explanations. She remembered the pain too clearly. Her fists clenched between legs.

''Those drugs...'' He said lowly, his eyes intense with darkness she shuddered at. ''It was Serena's trap. She set you up.''

The shock wasn't that great, but his following words cut her like a knife.

''I've watched it all. Nate taped it for his media project and I've watched it. I've seen it all.''

So, Nate knew. Serena knew. Now Chuck knew too.

Trash, mother's words rang through the void between expectations and reality. You'll be trash to them.

It was like their twisted inside joke. They all pretended to be her friends. She looked away and grit her teeth. Trust fund babies. Golden circle of predators. Games and lies. She was sick of it.

But then again, she was no different.

''I know you're not to blame,'' Chuck continued hurriedly, getting up to sit on a seat next to her. He leaned closer, his eyebrows scrunched up, ''I should have trusted you. I'm sorry. I know you don't trust me now, but what if-''

''No,'' She cut him short and rose. She was far from being innocent and the word was like a grate against her skin. Colorful glittering feathers were someone else's and she refused to put them on her tail. ''No 'what if's. It's over. I don't care anymore.''

Blair looked down at his shocked face. She knew she was being cruel, but it was necessary. Chuck Bass needed to be pushed away. ''You said what you have to say, now please open the doors.''

Chuck's face fell. "But that kiss at the hospital..."

"Meant nothing," She finished looking away from him, her nails digging in skin.

The sound of the walls was louder than ever; breaking through solid ground, growing so high it clouded the sun. An urge to fall down on her knees and put her head on his lap clawed at her; demanding release. She swallowed down the painful notion and followed him to the doors.

Chuck unlocked them and without looking at her, said in deadpan voice "I'm done. I'm not running after you anymore."

Blair couldn't get out of that room fast enough. She felt cold. She felt miserable. His words echoed in her head and few months ago, she would have probably cried. Today, tears were nowhere to be seen. The river was dry, sun scorched the empty riverbed like a lava.

Serena set her up? No shit. Nate came as a surprise. She didn't see that one coming. Despite everything, she felt more indifferent towards them. She couldn't bring herself to care anymore. There were times she used to want to be like them and those times were gone. All of her lies suddenly seemed pointless and stupid.

Blair turned around to see if Chuck was still leaning on the doors, but he wasn't there anymore. Something in her guts twisted and turned. Walking down the hallway, she spotted Serena.

Blair calmly walked past the golden girl who gazed at her with tight lips.

''Blair,'' Serena called out, catching up. For Van Der Woodsen standards, she looked horrible. With an apathetic feeling, Blair noticed she had been crying recently. ''Well? Do it. Finish me off.''

Serena shifted her foot restlessly at the ominous silence, her eyes nervously glancing around. ''Do it. I deserve it.''

Blair cocked her head, observing her. ''You're pathetic. I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole.'' Serena paled, her face turning into grotesque picture of a guilty madman.

Blair sighed in annoyance and exhaustion. ''You couldn't do it any other way, could you?'' She asked, raising her eyebrow. ''You couldn't deal with me unless you schemed, drugged me, put me in danger?''

Serena looked down, her lower lip quivering.

''Don't worry,'' Added Blair with a sardonic smile. ''I don't care anymore. You wanted Chuck's attention? He's all yours now.''

With an icy glance, she left. Despite the cool exterior, Blair had the urge to throw up all over the marbled floor. She didn't care about TFB, but she cared about Chuck. Yes, she adored him and had to give him up. The decision had been made long ago. Actually, Blair never even had him to begin with. The false Blair had him. The rich Blair with expensive clothes had him.

Outside, on the courtyard, Blair locked eyes with Richard Spencer. The guy squeaked and ran away.

Next few days were as weird as ever. Serena disappeared and nobody knew where she was. Nate tried to talk to Blair. Was he there to set things right or to ease his conscience, she couldn't tell nor she cared. He seemed really sorry and regretful. Blair didn't respond with a single word, but merely stared at him with murderous look. He took his cue and never talked to her again.

Chuck was back to, well, being Chuck. Once again girls shamelessly flocked around him. They hung on his neck, twenty different expensive perfumes clinging to his suit. He smirked and teased, they giggled and bit their lower lips. Blair found herself wanting to strangle their slim tanned necks. She was silently fuming. It was so easy to talk about not caring and being Ice Queen, but deep down inside - she wanted to die every time someone else made him laugh. Their project sessions continued and she couldn't be more edgy or put off if she wanted to be.

''Let's do something fun,'' Chuck drawled, not even looking up as she came and sat down to their usual spot.

''Let's not. I was thinking we do something useful,'' She countered, shrugging her coat off with unnecessary violence. ''Like a medical institution.''

''Boring,'' He sang under his breath, texting someone.

''Well I think your fun idea is boring,'' She snapped, but quickly blushed as she realized how paradoxical and moronic that sounded. ''Besides, I assume everyone will do something like that. Let's not forget you own a club so it's not really fair to our competition.''

''Mhm,'' He murmured disinterestedly at her rant, still typing away.

''Focus!'' Blair grit her teeth and snatched the phone out of his hands.''This is important to me!''

''Hey,'' He said offended, ''Satisfying my sexual appetite tonight is important to me.''

"It should be something nobody else would have the brains to think of," She continued, ignoring him and turning off the phone. "Movies, restaurants, clubs... It's all everyone is thinking about."

Chuck sighed in exasperation and dropped his head on the desk with a loud thud.

"That's it," Blair clapped her hands in enthusiasm. "We'll be running a farm!"

"A farm?" Chuck repeated in utter disbelief and horror, raising his head to shoot her a dismayed look. "That's your grand original idea? Blair, even my mom runs a farm. On Facebook."

She grimaced at the comment and pointed a tip of the pencil at him. "This is not going to work. You're not cooperating. Let's just request to be working separately."

"Simple and fun," Chuck murmured, his eyes glazed in that way that confirmed he wasn't listening to her at all. "Fun and simple."

"Now you've really lost it. I'm going to call a Constance psychologist. Or better yet, sex addicts group."

"No, Blair," He urged, excitement in his voice. There was a boyish grin spreading across his face and Blair could feel her heart skip a beat. "An amusement park!"

"What? That's ridic-" She immediately went to dismiss the idea, but stopped in tracks when inspiration hit her. She grabbed his forearm and exclaimed, "That's it! An amusement park!"

Chuck bore his eyes into her fingers on his blazer, but Blair was too involved with visions that fluttered across her mind. She started writing down all the ideas of a complex; the exterior, the offer of activities, rides and saying them out loud. Chuck watched her passion as it burned, brimming the edges of the frame and licking the heights he thought were unreachable to men. She was brilliant.

"I have to go," He spoke as they went over the skeleton of the plan and she unburied her head from scribbled notes, not for a second forgetting he was there. His presence was always around, like a sun on the summer day or a mist on a cold winter morning. Disappointment swirled and stirred in her chest, but she forced a small smile.

"Don't forget your phone," Blair said when she actually wanted to scream Stay, we'll make this work.

Shaking her head out revelry, she turned it on and accidentally read incoming text.

Lilly has no idea where she is. It's been three days!

He took the offered phone and their fingers briefly touched. Their eyes met, body aching with longing and regret. She couldn't look away from him. He was everything.

He was the sun and the moon, the water and fire. Somehow on this terrible journey of bad choice and false words, she fell in love with Chuck Bass. The fact revealed itself in the darkest of hour, when she pushed everyone away to bask in isolation and loneliness.

She could push everyone away, but her soul ripped to pieces at every look from this boy.

Chuck raised his hand as if he was going to brush the strand of her hair away. Her breath hitched. If he touched her now, she would surrender herself to him.

As if changing his mind, he dropped the hand and nodded, holding her gaze. "I'll see you around."

He said that, but she could swear there were some other words playing on his lips.

The evening that changed everything started out like any other. There is no ominous feeling before the big bang, the human calamities aren't like earthquakes when you can't hear a single animal before the ground swallows you. There is no menacing silence. You go about your day, chores, errands and not once think about that thin string that can be plucked in any moment.

Blair came home after class, took a shower and started preparing dinner. She peeled the potatoes and put them in water to boil. After wiping her hands on cloth, she started to chop onions. Her eyes stung. Family was watching TV in the living room. The news started and, as usual, mother turned the volume up.

Whole New York state is in shock by the tragic news of the accident of most prominent Manhattan heir and a socialite. Serena Van Der Woodsen and Chuck Bass are currently in Sisters of Mercy, fighting for their lives as we speak. It is presumed the young Bass, son of famous businessman Bart Bass, lost control of the vehicle and slid off the road. An official statement is yet to be released. We are all praying and hoping for the best. Stay tuned with ABC4 news.

It was like she was submerged in dark, hot matter that clung to her skin and filled her mouth and nose. World swayed and Blair closed her eyes, fighting for a breath. Why couldn't she breathe?

Why was ground under her feet shaking?

''Look,'' Dan exclaimed surprised. ''It's that guy! It's that guy-''

The thick warm matter cut off all the voices and she felt herself surrender to it. Darkness invaded every existing space and she couldn't feel her body anymore.

''Blair,'' Someone shook her shoulders, thousand of voices whispering at the same time.

Blair, there's something going on between us.

''Blair are you okay?''

I want to take a picture of you. I want to remember this day.

''Open a window! Dan, do it!''

You're beautiful.

''Bob, get her some water.''

Are you mine?

''Chuck..'' She called out hoarsely, still dizzy and confused.

''Shh,'' Jane whispered, cooling off her daughter's face. ''Be quiet!''

''Mom,'' Dan came back, looking at them worriedly. ''I'll call a doctor.''

''No, honey. She'll be fine, she just needs to eat something. Give her some space to breathe.''

Jane's eyes flashed knowingly. She was well aware why Blair fainted. It had to do with that boy. That boy that made her eyes glaze, that boy that made her stay on the same page of a textbook for hours, that boy that put a spring in her step and melancholy to her voice. That's why she sneaked back to her room when everyone else was soundly asleep and wasn't surprised to see her daughter up and dressed.

''You're going to see him,'' She stated in defeat. Blair hastily buttoned up her coat, her face pale as a moonlight. ''I wish you didn't.''

''I have to,'' Her daughter answered with strange ruthless determination. ''And there's nobody and nothing on this world that can stop me.''

Night was grim and gloomy. Moon packed up the stars and hid somewhere far away from this gruesome place. Hospital lights twinkled eerily, a cursed place on a cursed island. Blair felt like some higher wicked creature lowered itself down on the planet only to suck out every feelings residing in her soul. There was a constant presence of dread, something corrupt lurking behind dark corners.

Her eyes locked with Nate.

Nate Archibald, a living relic that connected Chuck with this life. A proof that he was once here, among them: alive with spirit. Without words, they embraced, searching for him in each other. Past shattered into million pieces and fell on the floor forgotten. He clutched at her for dear life, shaking with tears.

''He's still at surgery. Both of them.''

Blair nodded, stiff as a statue, inhaling his scent in case it held any of Chuck's perfume. A bench close to the entrance caught her eye and her vision filled with ghosts of the past. That was the bench she once shared with Chuck. The night when Georgina tried to kill herself played in her mind on fast forward, pausing right at the time Chuck put his jacket over her shoulders and their fingers brushed. A sacred spot where they once almost kissed, where they shared secrets and opened up to each other. A spot where she saw all the stars in his eyes.

She wept like widows weep for their husbands, like mothers weep for their children, like soul mates weep for each other.

Walls of the waiting room reeked of desperation. Beige reefer coat flung against her silken pajamas, Evelyn was crying and pushing Bart angrily. ''Where were you? Why won't you answer your phone? Why didn't you come here earlier?!''

Bart was speechless, letting her shout and scream, his eyes droopy and morose.

Nate told her later that Serena was hiding out in Hamptons, beaten down by grief and guilt. Chuck went out to get her and on their way back had an accident. Blair looked at the faces around her... Evelyn, Bart, Paige, that prick Anthony, Serena's mom... They all cared about them. But could they all live with themselves if something were to happen?

Because Blair couldn't. She didn't let herself love Chuck fully, nor did she let him love her. She let him love the false Blair. And if he died, she would never forgive herself. A life wasted, a love wasted, a time wasted. It was the most cruel thing she had ever done and she did it to a person she loved.

It is true then; we all hurt what we love the most.

A fear of losing him assaulted her from every direction and, for once in her life, Blair's mind went blank.

It was early morning when they wheeled them out of Operating room. Everyone crowded around the two gurneys, shedding tears on their patched up bodies. Blair couldn't move. Wall seemed to glue itself to her back and stretch it's cold invisible arms over stomach.

They looked like they'd been through hell and back. Chuck had so many colors on him, you couldn't recognize him. His beauty was demolished, turning him from a handsome boy to a barely breathing corpse. There was white for gauze, red for blood and purple for multiple bruises.

What if she lost him?

A part of her would chip off and sail into an oblivion forever.

She pressed her palms into eyes, uttering a silent prayer.

God, if you let him live, I will wash my sins on shore and come up clean. He who matters the most will know of my lies.

With that, she turned around and went home chanting the prayer like a madman. Blair wouldn't even go back home if her father wasn't so stubborn in keeping her either there or in school. Thankfully, mother kept her departure secret, but she could see it in her eyes that Jane didn't approve of this.

Blair had breakfast and went out of the house, on the pretense of going to class.

Coming back to hospital, she found everyone crowded around a doctor, anxiously waiting for news.

''The boy is out of the danger,'' He said, looking worried despite the news. ''He can breathe on his own, but his body needs time to recover. He is currently on Intensive care and we'll wait for him to wake up. But the main thing is that he's off the machine support and stable.''

Evelyn let out a sigh of relief, hugging what seemed to be her husband. He patted her back half-heartedly, subtly checking the hour on the clock.

Blair felt nothing but happiness. Her prayers had been answered. The cost meant nothing as long as Chuck was alive and well. She turned to look at Nate when he asked ''What about Serena?''

Doctor pursed his lips. ''No change. She is still on support.''

''Is she,'' Her mother stammered, a beautiful golden-haired older replica of Serena. Her eyes were puffy, thin nose red. ''Is she in danger?''

''We're hoping for the best.'' Doctor gravely said. ''As should you. If you'll excuse me, that's all.''

Lilly Van Der Woodsen burst into tears and it was one of the saddest song an angel could compose. Blair's heart constricted for her, feeling her anguish and pain, despite what had happened between her daughter and she.

''She's tough,'' Blair comforted Nate, patting him on the knee. ''She'll fight her way through.''

''Do you know what she said to me last time I saw her?'' He whispered in broken voice, looking straight ahead. ''She said 'I hate you'.''

His lower lip quivered and he rose quickly, leaving her alone.

What was the last thing she said to Chuck? Something stupid about his phone? She said something trivial and meaningless, while she actually wanted to say a lot more.

Time and love was taken for granted, most odious violation of the principles and morals. It was time for changes.

There was always a sense of togetherness in grievers, sense of something great they share. An awareness they were fighting for the same other-worldly cause. Saddened by the same grief, loved by the same love. Day out of day, Blair watched his sleepy body in intensive care through the window. Whole world stopped moving, gravity shifted and Chuck became the sun, a center of the galaxy. Family, project and MME society - forgotten. Time stopped for them and everyone outside hospital ceased moving, growing, existing.

She watched Evelyn, in blue scrubs and surgical mask, weeping over Chuck, talking to him as if he was wide awake.

She watched them with Bart Bass by her side, silently shedding tears, looking at her without venom as he did that last time. Bart Bass looked at her for help and reassurance that everything would be fine.

Days went on like lost dogs, not knowing where one ended and the other began.

''Do you think they'd let me in?'' She asked Evelyn one afternoon, looking at his slumbering body. Chuck looked better. The white gauze was removed, the red blood cleaned up and purple bruising settled down to cuts. He looked like a victorious fighter resting from the battle.

''If...'' Chuck's mother stammered, her eyes watering up every time someone said his name. ''If they knew how much you meant to him, I'm sure they would. I told him- I told him you were here, waiting for him.''

Evelyn gulped down hard and let out a shaky breath. A slight blush adorned Blair's white face, a first sign of life in that hospital for many days.

''Thank you, Blair. I don't know what happened between you two, but Chuck cares deeply for you. He wouldn't stop talking about you.''

A tear trickled down her perfect plump cheeks and Blair bit down a sob. She couldn't but admire her dark, slightly slanted eyes and the energy they emitted. The eyes that told stories about pain as ancient as the dawn itself.

''It's been years since he and I talked. It's been years since I listened to him. Since meeting you, he needed mother's advice for the first time. Do you know how long I've waited for that? Waited to be needed by him? Waited to be asked for help? Chuck is everything to me, Blair. We finally became a mother and a son again. Thank you. Thank you for bringing me my boy back.''

Evelyn hugged her with tenderness and gratitude, staining her coat with tears as precious as the most expensive gems. Blair was so shocked that she remained speechless. Here she was, getting bits and pieces of a a life Chuck led, a life that had nothing to do with her - a life that had everything to do with her. Evelyn with that mighty aura and power to love ardently and passionately was closest thing she had to Chuck in days. Blair hugged her tighter, letting the scent of sandalwood take her to some places that were out of reach to mortals.

''Go on and get dressed while I talk to doctors. Don't make him wait for you any longer.''

Blair entered his room with small steps, admiring his sleepy face. His hair looked ruffled and she brushed the bangs from his forehead. Would he be embarrassed by this? Would he like it? She couldn't tell.

''I'm here,'' She croaked out, wanting to touch his cheek, but hastily pulled back. She didn't want to hurt him anymore. ''I won't let you go through this alone.''

Blair sniffled, not able to prevent the tears that were welling up in her eyes. Reluctantly, she put her hand on his, just like he did few days ago while working on a project. Where is he now? What dream is he dreaming? Would he be able to feel her touch, to hear her? Did love have any superpowers or was it something to feed die-hard romantics?

How could she be this stupid and waste their love away? Why couldn't she be honest with him and tell him everything? Why did she have to be a coward?

''You were right,'' She whispered, comforted by his touch, letting affection for him bloom and fill the air around them. It had been help captive for far too long. Cuts on his skin were rough against her hand and she shuddered at the pain he must have went through. ''What happened between us was stupid.''

''I want us to start over,'' Blair gulped and breathed in, letting the tears clear up and courage fill her being. This was the time for changes and she wasn't ready to risk love anymore. Life wasn't a gamble and every day, every moment should be seized as if it was our last one. ''I lied to you. I lied to you while looking you right in the eyes. I've been pushing you away. I've been running. ''

''And now while you're sleeping... None of that make any sense.''

Blair squeezed his hand a little, and a new sense of clean slate and opportunity of happy life with him overwhelmed her. A life with him could be possible. Happiness wasn't an option, it was a choice. And Blair chose to brave like he was. She chose to be a fighter like he was. Chuck Bass deserved nothing less.

''You need to wake up,'' She pleaded, tears brimming over her eyes. His eyes remained closed, dark and long eyelashes resting on cheeks. Why won't he wake up? Isn't he aware what she was offering? Didn't he care?

''Wake up!'' She urged hysterically, anger and sorrow overpowering everything else.

She should have let him in.

Love should have crazy super-powers. Love should make all bad things right. He never gave up on her, despite everything she put him through. He went down fighting and he would emerge a champion - because that's what he was. He was the love, he was the superpower.

''I'll tell you everything... Just wake up.''

A/N: This chapter is dedicated to our Meredith Grey of fandom; iALLIEgator. One of my most loyal reviewers; reading this fic, kicking medical exams and saving the world in blue scrubs. Or white coat. Not sure. Maybe both? Do we get a lollipop in the end?

Sooo, we all know Chuck will wake up because who tf would read story about some chick crying about that one guy for 40 chapters?

I know I would haha ):

Tell me your thoughts! Hope you had nice Valentine's day! Single or taken, doesn't matter. Chocolate and wine is all you need anyway.