Bombalurina opened her eyes and smiled at her cousin. "Hey Dems!" she yawned. "Don't look so worried!"
Demeter frowned. "You were taken ill," she said. "Of course I was worried!"
"Don't be cuz! It was just a little too much alcohol, that's all-!"
"I saw Munkustrap take your glass off you," Demeter cut in. "And then before that I saw him confiscate your cigarette-"
"Dems-"
"What's going on, Bomba? I'm not stupid! I can tell when you're lying. Please tell me! You're meant to be my cousin! We tell each other everything-"
"I-
"She's pregnant."
Bombalurina's eyes widened. Munkustrap, Jazzie and Rum Tum Tugger were all standing by the curtain. Munkustrap limped over to her bedside and took hold of her paw. She looked horrified, first to him, then to Demeter and Rum Tum Tugger as realisation dawned in their eyes (Well in Demeter's anyway!) "Wait? You're pregnant?" Rum Tum Tugger asked suddenly.
"Keep up, Tugger!" Sighed Bombalurina. "Yes, I'm pregnant. Might as well let the whole blinking world know now!" She glared at Munkustrap.
"How come you never said?" Rum Tum Tugger demanded.
"Because they're not yours," she confessed.
"Not MINE? Who's are they? I'll kill him!"
"They're mine, you idiot!" Munkustrap growled.
"Your's?!"
"Sorry to put your nose out of joint, but yes, their mine. Got a problem with that?"
"Yeah I have as it happens!" said Rum Tum Tugger straightening his mane and squaring up to him.
Munkustrap sneered and derided, "What's the matter? Own medicine too sour for you?"
He let go of Bombalurina's paw, drew himself up to his full height and both toms stared threateningly at one another with their fur bristling and tails slashing. The air was tense and the pair seriously looked as though they were about to come to blows, but nobody fancied Rum Tum Tugger's chances. Sure he was lean and muscly, almost the exact same height as Munkustrap with his long mane even making him appear slightly taller. But Munkustrap was bigger overall. His chest and shoulders were broader and more defined and as he flexed them one was left in no doubt that, even injured, he was still a force to be reckoned with. And though he never admitted it, their last violent encounter still weighed heavily upon Rum Tum Tugger's mind. As much as it had put a serious dent in his ego, he had learnt a sore lesson that night not to pick fights with his brother. So knowing in the back of his mind that he had already lost this battle, he took to firing cheap shots instead. "You can't get enough can you?" He jeered. "First mum-"
"Jenny isn't our mother, you great worm's pimple-!" Munkustrap interjected, but Rum Tum Tugger carried on regardless,
"...then Jelly, then Demeter, Tanto, Jazzie, and Bast knows who else! And now my missus! Who's next, eh?"
He cupped his paw to his mouth and called out to no one in particular, "Hang onto your queens fellers, don't let them out of your sight because the minute you do he'll be all over her like a rash-!"
"Well you're a fine one to talk aren't you?" Munkustrap interrupted. "You have absolutely no grounds to complain about my mating habits when you yourself have mated with most of London! Bombi was probably worried she'd catch something off you-!"
"I can speak for myself, thank you dearest!" snapped Bombalurina. "Tugger for umpteenth time, and how many more times do I have to remind you about this? I am not yours! I am Bombalurina. I belong to no-one! In fact I can speak for all of the queens here! Our bodies belong to us, right? So whoever we choose to have kittens with is our prerogative and if we need someone who is strong, good looking, wise, level headed and brave to be the father of our kittens then so be it. Sorry Tuggykins, but you only scored two out of five there so if you want to gripe at anyone, gripe at me!"
"May I ask how I fared, just out of interest? Or don't I want to know?" asked Munkustrap.
Bombalurina gave him a wink. "Oh, you got full marks, Tiger!" she purred, then turned seriously back to Rum Tum Tugger again.
"Don't sneer, Tugger!" She snapped. "You only have yourself to blame! Remember? Our conversation? Or rather the lack thereof! The one where you made it perfectly clear what you thought about having kittens with me?"
Rum Tum Tugger suddenly looked a little bit uncomfortable. "Oh?" Bombalurina carried on. "You remember now, do you? Sorry, but I'm ten this year! Yeah, don't sound quite so shocked, will you!"
She glared at the small group of cats but no one responded so she carried on grudgingly, "Time is not on my side! This could have been my last chance-"
"And does love not feature at all in amongst your life plans?" Rum Tum Tugger asked morosely.
"It certainly does!"
She glanced fervently in Munkustrap's direction. "Besides. If you loved me , Tugger, then you would stand by me and respect my decision seeing as it was mine to make, instead of throwing all of your toys out of the pram!"
Rum Tum Tugger shook his head. "You know what?" he growled. "Fuck this shit!"
He pointed a claw at Bombalurina. "Fuck you! And fuck you!" He then directed the extended claw at Munkustrap. "You're not my Bro!"
"Bite me!" Munkustrap snarled.
For a moment Rum Tum Tugger looked as though he was seriously considering doing just that. But instead he fluffed his mane and barged out of the cubicle, almost knocking over Jennyanydots as she joined them to see what all the commotion was about. In her arms she held a neatly folded neck scarf that had been thoroughly washed, dried and ironed, while on her arm hung a leather studded belt and a stiff black leather collar with metal studs and a metal ring attached to it. Both of these items had been thoroughly cleaned of blood and grime. "What's the matter with him?" she asked.
"Bad case of sour grapes and quite possibly the worst hangover he's ever had," Bombalurina replied sourly. "He'll get over it."
"I heard that!" snapped Rum Tum Tugger, flouncing back in. "Can I have my scarf and belt back please, Jenny? I feel naked without them."
No sooner had they been handed to him then he moodily stuck his nose in the air and with a, "Humph!" flounced back out again.
Munkustrap glanced sideways at Bombalurina, raised an eyebrow and voiced the question which they were all secretly asking. " Tuggykins ?"
She shrugged. "It's no worse than what I callyou , S-"
"DON'T you dare!"
Bombalurina suddenly looked at Demeter who hadn't moved or spoken since the announcement. She appeared to be silently hyperventilating, her expression registering hurt which was quickly overshadowed by incandescent rage. "You-you mean to tell me..." she began quietly with her voice getting progressively louder. "That while I-while I was going through all of...that...you...and him ?"
She turned on Munkustrap. "You and her… as well!? " There was a tremor in her voice and she was so apoplectic that she could barely speak.
"Yes Demeter," Munkustrap said calmly and took hold of Bombalurina's paw again. "Me and her."
He looked at Jazzie. "As well."
The Golden Calico's eyes filled with tears. "You lied to me," she whispered to Bombalurina, her voice turning to a hoarse croak. "You were betraying me all along-!"
Bombalurina shook her head, "No-!"
"I thought you cared about me-!"
"Sweetie, I-!"
"I thought we were friends-?!"
"Oh but we are-!"
Demeter shook her head. "No, we're not. Not anymore."
Bombalurina looked at her in shock. "What-?!"
"I will never forgive you!" Demeter screamed, tears creeping down her face.
"You don't mean that-?" Bombalurina whispered, tears falling from her eyes too, but Demeter cut her off,
"Take a souvenir and stop your staring,
Just cause I'm screaming,
Don't mean I'm sharing,
Can't keep my mouth shut,
if you keep that smirk on,
You can't negotiate,
Not with me this time!
You go solo,
your faggot rainbow,
your Nazi Halo,
won't save you this time,
Bring your IQ and try to understand,
Just cause I'm listening,
Don't mean we're still friends,
Can't fix my problem,
You crossed a thin line,
You can't just work it out,
not with me this time!
You go solo,
your faggot rainbow,
your junkie ego,
won't save you this time,
you go solo,
your tragic disco,
your Nazi Halo,
won't save you this time,
You're so predictable, no shadow of doubt,
when you are suffering, know who sold you out,
Fuck your opinions,
Fuck your lack of spine,
When you are miserable,
Know that I'm just fine!
You go solo,
your faggot rainbow,
your junkie ego,
won't save you this time,
you go solo,
your tragic disco,
your Nazi Halo,
won't save you this time!"
(Nazi Halo by Jack Off Jill)
"Demi please-!"
"Goodbye... Bombalurina !" Demeter hissed and shot one last look of loathing at Munkustrap.
"Call yourself respectable? You ought to be ashamed!" She spat.
But to her astonishment he defiantly held his head high, glared back at her and replied with grimace and a shrug. "I don't see what I have to be ashamed of. I haven't harmed anyone! If it is shame you wish to see then why don't you look in a mirror?"
Demeter started to laugh mockingly. "I can't believe what I'm hearing-!"
"Well maybe you should start. I am not the liar around here!" He growled.
He spread his paws and looked around at the faces of the other cats, nurses and the odd curious patient or two. "Does anyone have anything they wish to add? Any complaints at all?" he asked. Unsurprisingly no-one came forward to accuse him of anything so he continued. "According to Demeter my crime is loving more than one of you. Well then, please feel free to condemn me if you wish! After all, I only do what is asked of me."
As he said this he touched his chest with the tips of both paws, keeping his voice level and calm, but underpinning it was an unmistakably high level of emotion. "I have never forced nor coerced anyone into doing anything and yet for some reason I am being unfairly penalised?" he continued.
"Yes! Unfairly!" he added in response to Demeter's skeptically raised eyebrows. "Tell me, what does it matter whether I have one mate or one hundred given that our holy leader has buried nine (possibly ninety nine!) wives and is celebrated for this! Surely the most important thing here is that I am doing the job that I was appointed to do? Do you not think that I have the capabilities to love all of you equally and at the same time? I'll admit, you don't exactly make it easy, but hey! If you think that my personal life is adversely affecting the job I do then I shall happily step down and take early retirement, because Bast knows I could use the rest!"
Then he turned to Demeter and addressed her directly, "Demeter, I have proved time and again how much you mean to me, rescuing you from the perils that you get yourself into and getting a knife in my ribs for my troubles. Added to that, how many times have I stuck my neck out in order to pull you from Macavity's clutches and taken a beating for my efforts, only for you to go running back into them time after time? And why do I bother, you might ask? Why indeed. It is a question I cannot answer, for all you have ever done is take from me. But I'll forgive you, my love, for I still have plenty to give. What will you do when you are finished hurting those who love you, eh? Maybe you should consider your place in this tribe before you start spouting hate!"
Demeter seemed to physically crumple at his words as though she were an empty can that was being crushed by a giant foot. She hung her head and ran, sobbing, from the cubicle. Bombalurina glared at him. "Tactfully done as usual!" She sarcastically commended him.
"It was all going to come out in the wash. She needed to be told," he replied bluntly.
They glared at one another and then Munkustrap looked around at the silent faces. "Well folks?" he said sadly. "The question still remains. Do you want me to step down? I could get Old Deuteronomy to announce the trials and they can begin tomorrow, if need be? At the end of the day, I need the love and support of every single one of you or I cannot be your Protector."
"You'll do no such thing!" snapped Jennyanydots.
She marched over to him and roughly fastened his collar around his neck. As she did so she sharply reminded him, "You earned the right to wear this! Remember? I was on the judging panel! Well my decision has not wavered! I started out as your guardian, but now you are guardian to us all and I, for one, am proud to call myself your mate. You have given me seven wonderful kittens (four of whom are still with us) and of course, Alonzo has grown into a formidable young tom in his own right. I am old enough to remember the previous protector and am not alone in believing that you are, not only better than he was, but quite possibly the greatest protector the Jellicles have ever had."
Jazzie went to stand by him and added, "You rescued us from a life of Hell and gave us a life zat we could only have dreamt of. And for zat, we are forever in your debt," she said. "My sister's and I are beside you whatever happens and we love you wiz every bit of our hearts."
Lastly, Bombalurina grasped his paw. "Sorry I was hard on you, babes," she told him. "Just so you know, I'd still choose you. Every time."
Munkustrap smiled, feeling a lump forming in his throat. "Thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me..."
Suddenly, he was struck with a thought. "Hang on, I thought you'd lost the kittens? Is that not the case?" He asked Bombalurina, who looked to Jennyanydots for confirmation.
"Jenny told me I lost at least one, but she said she could detect two more faint heartbeats," she explained. "Is that right Jenny?"
"That's right dear," replied the Gumbie Cat. "I had a listen and I could definitely hear two teeny tiny flutters. You may have more but it is too soon to tell as they'll be little bigger than jelly beans!"
"Let's hope this doesn't happen again," sighed Bombalurina.
"Miscarriage is incredibly common dear, especially when we queens get to a certain age-"
"I'll give you certain age!"
"Make sure you get plenty of rest in order to minimise it happening again!" Jennyanydots told her sternly, wagging her finger at her for added emphasis. "It's happened once, therefore I cannot guarantee that it won't happen again I'm afraid."
Jazzie placed a paw onto her shoulder. "And try not to worry," she added. "Pregnancy should be enjoyed, not endured. We'll be keeping a close eye on you!"