Chapter Twenty-Nine
Mother's Secret
In every battle there comes a time when both sides consider themselves beaten, then he who continues the attack wins.
''I'm going out,'' Diana called out, grabbing clutch from the table. ''Your father is staying at the hotel tonight. There's a business party so he'll just sleep there.''
''Uh-huh,'' Dazedly replied Georgina, staring out the window down on the passing cars, not even bothering to ask why wasn't she joining her husband.
''Are you even aware I'm here?'' Mrs Spark sighed exasperated, rolling her eyes. Georgina's obsession with Chuck Bass only seemed to increase with his moving in their building. When he was home, she guarded the phone with her life in case he rang. When he went out, she stood by the window - like now - waiting for him to come back.
Diana took full advantage of it. Her husband was away, Georgina was too busy with Bass kid - a perfect opportunity to visit Edward.
''Do me a favor and call before going out,'' Diana said out loud before leaving the apartment.
''Finally,'' Georgina muttered, jumping to her phone as Bass limo rolled up half an hour later and Chuck's head peeked out. She immediately texted him.
G: Wanna hang out? :) :)
The reply came ten minutes later;
C: Come upstairs
Squealing, Georgina quickly went to change out of pajamas, putting on a small layer of make up. Couple of minutes later, she was in his apartment, dressed in a breezy dress and high-heels.
''I brought you a welcome present,'' She chirped, getting a velvety box out of her pocket. ''For moving in.''
Chuck Bass stared at her, making no move to take the box.
''Oh-kay,'' Georgina went on jovially, undisturbed. ''I'll open it.''
Inside the box was a silver key chain with pendant in shape of a crown. He took the box, brusquely thanked her and left the item on the table. Chuck dropped on the sofa, dully staring at the wall opposite. His phone rang and Georgina saw Mother flashing across the screen. He rejected the call as if nothing happened. The list showed 37 missed phone calls from various people.
''So,'' She started after he didn't say anything, flunking down on his couch. ''Did you see Blair's boyfriend the other night?''
That seemed to get his attention. Chuck snapped his head towards her so fast she thought he'd break his own neck. ''Her boyfriend?''
''Yeah, the one on the bike.''
He didn't respond to that, but merely leaned back on the sofa, tapping fingers against armrest.
''I mean boyfriend is kind of a loose word,'' She went on nevertheless, twirling a strand of hair around finger. ''My step-mother knows him, she says Blair has summer job as cleaner on his yacht. Actually, she hinted Blair is probably doing more than casual cleaning.''
Georgina chuckled, ''If you know what I mean.''
Chuck exhaled a sharp breath and got up, ''Do you want a drink?''
''Sure,'' She shrugged, smirking as he turned his back on her to pour them a glass of scotch. ''Diana said his name is Edward Morelli. Have you heard of him?''
''No,'' He curtly answered, handing her the glass. ''Cheers.''
He knocked back his head and downed the drink in one fluid motion. Quickly after, he poured himself another one.
In the morning, Georgina woke up on Chuck's couch. She looked around, drinking in the scanty expensive bachelor furniture and empty bottle of scotch on the floor. It felt like a dream. A slightly disappointing dream. She expected they would have made out last night, but maybe it was too soon for him. Maybe he needed some time to heal from the damage Blair caused him. So far he was up for casually chatting and dropping her off if they were heading the same way - nothing else.
It must be too soon for him.
Tiptoeing to his bedroom, she watched him sleep. He was lying on his back, his face so beautiful and peaceful that she couldn't help herself but to sit next to him on the bed.
Her hand hovered over his smooth cheek.
She felt like she didn't need anyone when he was there in her life. Not her busy father, not her dead mother, not her loathsome step-mother. They all faded into nothing next to his graceful features. Just before her fingers could graze his skin, doorbell rang. Georgina quickly pulled her hand back and ran to open the doors. Frantic ringing turned to forceful knocks and Georgina opened the doors, thrilled to find Blair's shocked face on the other side.
''What are you doing here?'' Housekeeper's daughter blanched, eyes scanning the apartment. The question was asked in irritated manner, as if Blair had any right on Chuck, as if she had any claim on his company. When would she get that she was a nobody? When would she realize she was someone unworthy of the attention of great Heir?
''Since when is it acceptable to barge in like this for morning service?'' Georgina arrogantly said, quirking an eyebrow. ''You could have woken up Chuck. We fell asleep really late last night.''
Blair looked at her, really looked at her and her eyes narrowed. ''You're lying.''
''Look who's talking.''
Blair put a hand on her hips, voice demanding with strange unquestionable authority, ''Georgina, what are you doing here?''
I'm here to help Chuck get rid of you, she thought. He is mine.
''You're expecting me to explain myself to you? You're pathetic.''
''Get out of my way,'' Blair spat, pushing G. aside as if she was simple nuisance and entered apartment, looking around.
''Go away, Blair!'' Georgina growled, pulling back Blair's hand as they reached the bedroom. ''Are you crazy?''
Blair froze and saw him on the bed, fully clothed in last night's attire. Heavy stench of alcohol wafted through the air of room. She sighed in brief relief and went to open a window. They didn't have sex after all. The guy was clearly passed out drunk.
As if sensing her there, Chuck opened his eyes and stared at Blair.
Georgina caught an emotion in his eyes that she couldn't place, something that was clearly covered and hidden by hostility as he jumped off the bed, barking, ''What the hell are you doing here?''
For a second, Georgina thought he was talking to her and she shrank back.
''Chuck-'' This pathetic weirdo dared to say his name, looking back at him with annoyance.
''Get the fuck out!''
Of'course he was talking to this delusional brat. He jerked Blair by her elbow, dragging her all the way from bedroom, across the hall. Georgina suppressed a laugh, finding this all too funny - because this nobody barged in private apartment of Chuck Bass, stalked in the bedroom as if she owned the place and dared to snap at her. She looked downright pathetic.
''Chuck!''
''Get out,'' Chuck grit through his teeth in obvious infuriation at her futile protests, not caring if he hurt her or dragged too roughly. It was a sight to behold and Georgina immediately regretted leaving her phone downstairs. Someone should really record this.
Blair finally wrenched herself away from him at the doors. ''Stop it!''
Her eyes were ablaze, Georgina noted with some mild discomfort. The girl looked like Medusa - a beauty with a deadly glare. Not only that, but that seemed to be all it took to silence Chuck immediately. The pair stared at each other, breathing heavily and Blair's upper lip curled in disgust. ''Women, alcohol... Georgina.''
G met her eyes briefly, but Blair immediately looked back at Chuck as if she wasn't even worth of glance. Chuck surprisingly kept quiet, laboring breaths and staring down at this crazy psycho. Why didn't he say anything? Why didn't he kick her out already?
Blair's eyes softened and it seemed like she would hug him, kiss him, make a cup of tea or something stupid like that, ''This thirst for revenge isn't good for you. What you want to do-''
''You have no idea what I want to do,'' He venomously interrupted, scowling at her. His face was contorted into grimace of silent rage and Georgina felt herself panicking when he leaned closer to Blair. There was something in the air, something almost electric that these two evoked and it made her take a step back from them. ''If you did - you would be on the other end of the continent now.''
''No matter what you do,'' She still spoke gently as if he just gave her a compliment instead of a direct threat, clutching her hands at her sides as if they wanted to break out and caress him. Georgina noted all of these little signs with painful clarity, unable to revert her own eyes, unable to pretend. ''You can't hide the pain in your eyes.''
She stiffened, hoping Chuck wasn't stupid to fall for that bait - the deliverance of words was perfect, flawless, worthy of an Oscar. G grudgingly wished she thought of it first.
''And what about your eyes?'' Chuck reverted fiercely, cocking his head and the air shifted, tension in the air thick and stifling. Georgina suddenly couldn't breathe, she clutched the wall for support as the realization dawned on her. ''They can't hide the rottenness inside of you.''
She stared at both of them, stared as they glared at each other, looking like they wanted to rip each other's throats and Georgina couldn't help but to feel like a third wheel.
''I'm sorry,'' She said to Chuck as he slammed the doors of the apartment, finally shutting Blair out. They were now left alone, empty space echoing with deafening silence. ''I tried to stop her, she wouldn't listen-''
''It doesn't matter,'' He answered tiredly, rubbing his puffy eyes as if he couldn't get enough sleep. ''She's hardly worth of the words.''
With that he went back to sleep, leaving her alone in the hallway.
Jane took a deep breath.
Immediately, her body reacted and slight dizziness overcame her.
This was wrong. This shouldn't be happening. Doctor told her to take it easy.
But it needed to be done. Yes, it needed to be done for Blair.
She leaned in and knocked on doors.
It was a while until they opened and Chuck Bass looked down on her with nothing but contemptuous disdain. Nobody in her almost six decades of life did anyone look at her that way - in the way that made her cower her head and utter a silent prayer. He wordlessly let her pass and she clutched on to her broom and can of water tighter, careful not to meet his eye or to look his way.
I want you to clean my apartment, he said to her yesterday.
Sir, she replied. I've abandoned every-day cleaning.
Her body caught up with her age, even went further into the years and Jane found out that she couldn't stand on her feet for longer than ten minutes without getting dizzy. She felt weak, assaulted by headaches and migraines and it was impossible to do simplest tasks without having need to lie down and sleep for a week.
Are you saying you don't need the money? , he went on and everything about him was decided that he would have his way - as Jane assumed he often did have. Are you saying you've payed off the debt?
She kept silent, staring down on the floor. The answer was redundant.
In that case, I would have known.
Still, she stared at her shabby shoes, at his polished ones and she thought of Blair, of her only daughter.
Unless you found another resource of money? he went on slowly, deliberately, and Jane looked up to see his demeanor changed. The hostility wasn't covered by sarcasm or subtle jabs - it was plain and obvious. She stared at this boy, because he was not a man, and she thought of Blair.
I'll be expecting you tomorrow morning.
Jane sprayed some anti-bacterial Windex over one of the cabinets in his living room. She swept the rag over surface, moping up the liquid and vigorously scrubbing over the drawers. Upon touch, one of the drawers sprang open and Jane froze. Her heart picked up the pace at the sight of the picture inside. With trembling fingers, she took it out and gasped.
It was a photo of Chuck and Blair. They were sitting in what seemed to be a school yard, coffee cups, open textbooks in front of them and smiles on their faces. His arm was affectionately wrapped around her shoulder, pressing her closer to him. They looked like they owned the world. Blair looked happy, proud and otherworldly, her temple leaning on his cheek. Jane gazed at her gorgeous daughter, meticulously dressed and glowing with what could only be described as love.
What a contrast this Blair was from the present one. The difference was heartbreaking.
Jane wished she could see her daughter smile like this again. She wished she could make this boy disappear.
A thought pervaded her mind, why did Chuck bring this picture with him?
Rustling sound caught her ears and she snapped her head up, only to find him looking down on picture with impassive face. She thought of putting the item back in the drawer, but something in her wouldn't let it go. Blair looked so blissful, she couldn't look away.
''Your daughter looks beautiful there,'' He murmured, not giving any sign of an emotion. The sentence felt like everything but a compliment. ''Doesn't she?''
A minute of silence passed and Jane still gripped the piece of someone else's memory, unable to give it up.
''Throw it away,'' He finally ordered, looking away. Walking around, he circled her, sporting bemused expression. Every step he took Jane felt to her core and it boomed across the room, past the walls and into the infinite sky. Chuck paused, rubbing his hands in contemplation. ''When did you become part of this game?''
Jane gripped the picture tighter, biting her cheeks and refusing to meet his burning glare.
''When your son stole and crashed my car?''
Her heart sped up and fatigue clouded her vision. So this was the reason he wanted her to clean up, not to humiliate her - but to interrogate, to torture her with questions and accusations which she couldn't deny. But Jane would be a liar if she said she didn't know he would do it before coming in here. Jane would let him take it out on her. For Blair.
''Or did you know everything from the start? Is that how it goes?'' A hint of cruel smile played on his lips. ''Mothers raising their daughters to do this? To seduce rich, blind fools?''
Jane lowered down the picture on cabinet and she looked up, but still avoided his gaze. She heard his words and each one was like a slap, like a punch in the gut - but she wasn't weak, no.
''You raised your daughter to find a rich amiable son-in-law that would get you out of that dump.''
It was true.
She did want Blair to get out of that dump. She did want her daughter to marry good and wealthy. She wanted her to be happy. Was it bad to want to save your child from the poverty and misfortunes they did nothing to deserve? Jane knew what was happening and she turned blind-eye on it, in hopes of setting her daughter free.
She wanted Blair to have her fairytale. Was it a crime?
''Leave,'' Chuck demanded with cold voice, dropping down on couch and looking sullenly away. ''That's enough.''
''Is it?'' She finally rose her eyes to meet his. ''Is it really enough?''
Chuck snapped his head up head in surprise.
''You're taking revenge on all of us now?'' She forcefully whispered, her eyes glinting with fervor. ''When are you going to leave this place already?''
''Get out,'' He shot up from the couch, pointing at the doors. It was obvious her words left an effect on him. ''Please.''
''Son, why don't you get out of our lives?'' Her voice rose because she was angry, she wanted her children protected - Blair and Dan - and this boy had every intention of hurting them. He brought chaos and mess and she wanted to shield them from it. His presence here affected everyone and Blair wasn't her usual self, she wanted her daughter back, she wanted her son back - Jane wanted her family back. ''Get out of our lives! Take your pain with you and go!''
He stared at her in bewilderment and after some moment shook his head perturbed, ''Leave! Right now!''
Jane didn't have to be told again. She quickly grabbed her cleaning utensils and left the cursed apartment. She thought she heard a sound of something being smashed.
''Mom?'' Blair blanched as she saw her own mother get out of Chuck's apartment. ''What happened?''
Jane grimaced and went downstairs, pulling her daughter with her. Blair flinched after only few steps, reading the situation too well.
''What did you do?'' She demanded, crossing arms at chest. ''Don't tell me you cleaned his place.''
''I did!'' Jane shot back, eyes wide and wild. ''I cleaned it so he would stop! I did it so he'd take his revenge and leave!''
Blair was furious, but this fact - this confession - stunned her for a moment. ''You knew!?''
''Everything'' Jane whispered in defeat, confirming it. ''I know everything, Blair. You can never hide anything from mother.''
''How long have you known?'' Dumbfounded she demanded, feeling her nerves on fire, getting furious and livid. Her mother, her poor innocent mother knew, kept her dirty secrets despite everything and Chuck still went out of his way to hurt and humiliate the person that didn't deserve it the most. Jane was all Blair had, her only guardian on this world that loved her unconditionally and he dare hurt her.
Blair was seeping with unknown anger, glaring at Chuck's doors, subconsciously reaching for the ruby ring. The finger was bare, the relic still gone.
''For a while now. You weren't exactly subtle in getting into his limo on your way to school. I didn't want to say anything, Blair. I wanted you to have everything you ever wished for and I knew I wasn't able to give it to you. But this boy will be the ruin of us.''
Blair clutched her purse and growled, ''He should be taking it out on me.''
''Blair-''
Blair ignored her mother's pleas and with determined steps, went to his doors. She forcefully knocked ''Open the doors!''
Jane didn't have strength to follow her. She slowly sat down on one of the cold marble steps and leaned her head on rail. Her vision began to cloud again and she tried to balance out her rugged breathing.
Chuck opened the doors looking bored as ever.
Blair didn't fall for the mask of indifference, but instead shoved his chest hard ''What do you think you're doing?!''
Nonplussed, Chuck straightened himself up and rolled his tongue against his cheek.
''Here,'' he lazily took a 20$ bill out of his pocket, offering it without actually looking at her. ''Your mother forgot to take the money.''
She stared at the money in furious disbelief and quickly snatched it, only to throw it down on floor along with her purse. Blair slammed the doors shut behind her and once again assaulted his chest, pushing him back to the wall. ''Are you punishing me through my mom?! You can do whatever the hell you want to me, but leave my mom out of this!''
He finally looked her in the eyes and that familiar veil of loathing took over him. Finally, an emotion. ''You're going to tell me what to do now?! Get out-''
Chuck grabbed her elbow and was to once again kick her out of the flat, but not this time. Blair quickly wrenched herself free, drawing a strength from need to protect her family and need to resolve this once and for all. This urge for revenge was hurting everyone; her family, Chuck and herself. It needed to be stopped. Seizing his baffled distraction at the sudden opposition, she quickly locked the main doors and scurried across the room, towards an open window.
Chuck stared in disbelief as she threw the keys down on the street, turned around towards him and ordered, ''You'll listen to me now.''
Their gazes met and she thought she saw a conflicting glint in his eyes, but Chuck merely looked away and spat in frustration, dismissing her with a sharp wave of hand ''I've heard enough. I've been listening to your lies all the goddamn time.''
Blair ignored his harsh words, instead she inhaled a deep breath to calm herself down. She counted to ten, but when she reached eleven she counted again to ten and sat down on couch rest, staring at the spot on the wall. Her fingers drummed against her knee. ''First day of school, I was in state of a panic,'' She began calmly, bravely, eyes glazed in reminiscence. ''The students - everyone there - you were all the same. Only I was different.''
An outcast, she always felt like an outcast and everyone went out of their way to remind her of it - with expensive clothes, limo rides, luxurious homes. Even their attitude was different; carefree mental state with unlimited credit card and no worries that didn't involve their personal aesthetics and need to look better than their friends, inner competition of who had more zeros on bank account.
They skipped classes to have ostentatious lunches at Manhattan finest restaurants or to cure hangovers from last night's wild party. Magazines were filled with their faces and none of them ever thought about the future because daddy and mommy had everything under control - nepotism at it's finest.
And Chuck was one of them.
In front of her, he paced restlessly - back and forth - back and forth - as if he could walk across his problems, as if he could flatten his memories to dust with heels of his feet.
''I remember you were talking of weekend trips. Exotic getaways, last minute tickets to Paris,'' She continued somewhat bitterly. ''I couldn't tell you I never went across the bridge. I couldn't tell you I could barely afford a cab, let alone plane to Bora Bora. I couldn't tell you I was mere housekeeper's daughter.''
Chuck turned towards her, his lips set in tight line of determination. ''Do you really think I care?''
She looked up at him and he looked back, but not directly at her eyes, no. Chuck Bass perfected the art of looking at someone without actually making eye contact. There was caged fury within him, but what she had to say was vital, he needed to understand her. He needed to understand why all the lies because he was one of them, one of the people on the other side.
After all, how could he ever imagine himself in her shoes? After living in abundance of wealth, how could he? Poverty was something he read about in the papers and saw glimpses of in news. Poverty was Blair's reality.
''My mom used to clean apartments like this one. Grand mansions, stylish penthouses,'' Blair went on with note of sadness, still lost in memories. ''I used to tag along. After she was done, we'd go back to our little basement from which one, yes, from which one I so dearly wanted to escape.''
Chuck turned his back to her, running hands across his face and setting them at the chin.
''I never belonged anywhere,'' She uttered with broken whisper, decades of pent-up pain flowing out of the words and filling the gap between sorrow and anger. She didn't want pity, but Blair needed him to understand her and the reason behind lies.
''You belonged to me!'' He shouted angrily, almost desperately, turning to look at her with agony in every line of his face, finger pointing at his own chest. His collected cool was gone, Chuck seeped with even greater emotion and pain Blair felt herself. ''To me, Blair!''
She shook her head, ignoring the way her chest tightened at the use of a past tense - belonged, not belong. Belonged.
And it was true, but she would never have admitted that out loud before. She felt like she belonged with him, but awareness of her lies prevented her from actually recognizing that revelation, from embracing it completely. Now that the barrier of her lies was finally beginning to crumble between them, the revelation was left futile, the truth more cruel than lies.
''You believe in class system,'' Her eyes were accusing as she looked at him and remembered the time they were at Serena's and he said he believed each class of people had it's own identity, how rich people were tied together with same wealth and style of life. Implying everyone who was poor was different, was almost another race, someone they didn't associate with unless necessary. Chuck never knew how much he hurt her with those words then. He didn't know he was talking about her. ''I asked you once what would you do if I told you I was housekeeper's daughter and you didn't reply. Remember?''
''But then again,'' She added sarcastically, not helping but to feel crestfallen. ''You don't think that fact even matters.''
''Did it matter more than you?'' He leaned in her face, snarling. She knew he was angry, she knew he was furious and that every part of him wanted to block out her words, but Blair needed to see this through. She needed him to know - and for herself, she needed to be unburdened of the truths that had been only her own for a long time. ''After how much I loved you, did it even matter?''
Once again, the past tense - loved. After how much he loved her. He loved her and somewhere along the way stopped. He took pleasure in hurting her and people she loved. He took pleasure in Georgina, in sleeping with random girls, in everyone that wasn't her. She could feel back of her eyes start to sting.
''You think I fooled you,'' She quietly said, afraid to break apart in front of him. Blair didn't want his pity, couldn't bear the thought of it, and she stared back at him. ''That I tricked you. The truth is, I fooled myself.''
He was still looming over her like an imposing storm, his arm leaning on the rest just right of her ear. She shakily inhaled, scent of his perfume triggering something in her that belonged to him and him only.
God, how she missed him.
Blair missed him so much she ached, her soul sizzled with longing and desire to kiss him madly, to kiss away his pain and to smooth the hostile frown with her fingers. She wanted to bury her head in the crook of his neck and murmur; I'm sorry, and Everything will be fine over and over again.
Lower lip quivering, her hand seemed to lift on it's own accord towards his face. Just an inch away from smooth skin, when Blair realized what she was doing, her hand paused in mid air. Chuck froze, glancing down at her trembling fingers.
He backed away as if her hand was on fire, all the way to the other end of the room. She suppressed the rippling feeling inside of her ribs and pressed her palms together. He just recoiled away from her.
Sharply exhaling, she continued, still adamant in fighting for him. ''After a while, after spending time together with you - I got scared. I was afraid to lose you. So I didn't say anything.''
''You lied to me,'' Chuck said dully, almost tiredly, staring out the window. ''You lied to me from the first to last day.''
It was a fact. She couldn't deny it. It was the ultimate truth, but Blair needed him to see that wasn't the whole story.
''Do you remember when I sprained my ankle? When we were driving back, going away from hospital?'' She quietly asked, ignoring the way Chuck didn't answer, but the way his forehead leaned on the opposite wall was reply enough. ''I told you I never loved you, I told you that there was never love involved.''
Chuck buried his head in palms and she got off of her seat to stand behind him, but careful enough not to touch him. ''That was the only real lie I ever said to you. You always used to say how I was running away from you, despite always being there-''
He hastily pushed himself off the wall and muttered, ''I don't believe you''.
Blair watched him storm across the room, towards bedroom and she decided to get to the core of it, to admit things she couldn't even admit to herself.
''I only did it because I was scared!'' Blair confessed, stopping him in his tracks. He was still refusing to look at her, but she wouldn't give up the chance to say the words that were on her lips from the moment they met. Because yes, she was scared, always petrified; of not being accepted, of being only housekeeper's daughter, dismissed as such, scared of not being enough.
She was never in it for the money, never in it for anything else that acceptance, but destiny interfered and next thing she knew - Blair fund herself deep-neck in lies to one person that managed to win her heart, to one person that put complete trust in her, to one person that loved her truly. And she loved him back, even now, as he etched scars over her soul.
''I did it because I was a fool.''
''Don't,'' He snarled, turning back and coming up to her, so close that he towered over. Blair stared back at his darkened eyes and her pulse raced at the proximity, her body responding to him easily and fluidly. ''Don't talk to me about feeling like a fool.''
She bit her lip, because she felt like a stupid villain, she felt terrible that after everything they've been through - he ended up feeling like a fool. How would she convince him that he was everything to her? That he still was?
That he was the most amazing person she ever met and everything they've been through was precious to her? He was her morning and night and everything in between. Blair inhaled a deep breath, still gazing at his eyes, his face, and she didn't hesitate this time as her hand gently caressed his cheek.
''I love you,'' She whispered softly, finally feeling his skin. The smoothness of it was familiar and comforting. She thought she felt him melt under the touch, she thought she saw his eyes soften before they closed.
''Don't,'' He flung her hand away, backing up immediately as if she was poisonous. He shook his head and Chuck opened eyes, glaring at her as if she just slapped him. ''Don't.''
''You can't change what happened,'' She managed to sound steady, though her insides were burning and churning with agony. He was retreating, he was pulling back away from her. He was closing in that shell of hostility and toxic air. She couldn't let him do that to himself, she couldn't let him deepen the cut that she started. Chuck now had the knife and he was stubborn in twisting his own wounds, knowing - or maybe perhaps not knowing - that by hurting himself he was hurting her too. ''No matter what you try to do.''
And Blair begged him to leave the wound alone so she could heal it, begged him to let her fix him. Because if she couldn't do it, who could? Who loved him more than she did?
''You kept running away from me,'' He quietly growled, fists clutched at his sides. ''I blamed myself. You would say we're done - I'd still blame myself.''
She closed her eyes, feeling something in her throat grow to the point it hurt to breathe. Blair shook her head, silently pleading him not to go there because whatever he would throw at her would kill - not because he wanted it to - but because it was true. It was one side of truth, a cruel loveless side and she wanted to tell him how she kept running away because Blair wanted to spare him of her, she wanted to set him free of her wickedness, of her rotten core. But she loved him too much to let him go.
The thing in her throat wouldn't let her speak.
''When you cried,'' He roared, absolutely livid and the beast that she met in Nate's home came out, unleashed. There was nobody to defend her, nobody to shield - but she wouldn't want that. Blair gulped heavily, adamant in standing her ground and confronting the monster, despite the anxiety and crippling dread. ''I blamed myself! Go on! Why don't you run away, Blair?''
''Cry!'' He shouted, grabbing her forearms, fingers digging into her skin and violently shook her. ''Say that we're over!''
The madness spiraled and finally took control over him, possessing him like a demon that she summoned with darkest magic since the dawn of times. Her bones rattled as she shook her, but she let him take it out on her - she let him because she loved him and this feral beast was her sick creation. Teeth grit together, Blair waited until he was done, until his breath was hot on her cheek and she gazed up at him with all the ardor she could possess, ''I'm not running away anymore.''
Not in moment of desperation, but in moment of irrevocable love she felt, Blair broke the chains of his prison and hugged the beast, encircling her small arms around him. Eyes squeezed shut, she buried her nose in his chest, prepared for him to push her away, to shove her to the ground and twist the knife further. He smelled like her Chuck did - musky cologne and hint of soap. His skin was hot under the shirt - it was fire - a fire that singed unbearably, but she stayed put, holding onto him tighter.
Blair stood like that, listening to his racing heart that mirrored her beat, thumping against broad chest. World outside went on without them, completely unconscious of the mighty endeavored that was worthy of tales and songs. A stand-off between prince turned beast and a princess turned peasant girl when the midnight struck. His body seemed to slump in her embrace and Blair's breath hitched.
Chuck gently lowered his hands on her shoulders, trailed tips of his fingers down to elbows, sending shivers down her spine. She gingerly looked up with knotted eyebrows, hopeful and anxious. Chuck was smirking.
Only, it wasn't one of those saucy smirks after snide comment, it wasn't one of those cunning smirks after successful scheme, not even the self-satisfied one after he'd randomly catch her staring at him across the room.
It was a vicious shadow of a smirk, a cruel distorted visage.
Though his eyes were unreadable, Chuck slowly pushed her away from himself and leaned to to whisper in her ear, ''I will make you pay for every single day - every single second - that I spent believing you.''
Warmth of his body slipped through her fingers and Blair froze, arms dropping at sides. Color of her skin drained, replaced by unpleasant tingles.
''You - all of you,'' He went on, but the smirk turned even darker, his whole face an expression of gloom. The threat hung in the air, dangerously hovering over her head. She wished she would yell at her, because this alien coldness and controlled hostility was worse that anything. ''You will all pay.''
At that moment, key in the lock turned and in stepped Georgina, holding up the silver key with crown pendant.
Blair didn't notice anything, the world around her blurred into a nothingness. She held Chuck's eyes, the dark irises of the demon inside and Blair realized there was nothing she could say that would make him believe her. With cold, surprisingly calm fingers she picked up her purse off the floor and left the apartment without once looking back.