Chapter Thirty-Nine
Only Ones Who Know
''The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive,
but in finding something to live for.''
Would he go looking for her?
The last couple of days, Blair had felt so blissfully happy. It was almost unnatural, that amount of happiness. She was being forced out of Manhattan just when things were finally started to turn right. She would lose her scholarship, her friends, her life, she would lose Chuck.
The crowd cleared a bit as few buses pulled away and drove into the distance, disappearing into the night. She looked back to check on Dan. He was still at the counter. An idea to jump in the first random bus and drive away without him sprang up, but with a fallen heart, Blair realized she had no money. Once again, she looked up at the moon as her eyes watered. For some reason, moonlight felt comforting.
Quite out of nowhere, a car rushed in the lot, screeching as it parked directly in front of her.
''Blair?'' Chuck called as he got out, not taking his eyes off of her. His coat was buttoned open, his hair was a disheveled mess, but he was already rushing to embrace her.
''Chuck?'' She cried out in relief as their bodies connected, tears falling down her scarred face. He had come. He had come to her rescue. Chuck quickly wiped them away, looking at her with a desperate look in his eyes, afraid to touch her face, afraid to make her hurt.
''C'mon'' He breathed out hurriedly, mist coming from his mouth. ''Let's go. Let's run away together.''
The proposition petrified her. She had thought about it countless times before, but now, faced with actually doing it - something in her hesitated. Was she ready to turn her back on everyone? Blair looked back at her brother and their gazes locked. In his wild, insane eyes, she saw everything that she hated, loathed.
He was no longer her brother. He was an animal fueled by jealousy and fury. That one look had her sure, had her accepting Chuck's hand and nodding, realizing for the first time that there was no other way. This was the only way out.
''We should have done this a long time ago.'' Chuck muttered as he opened the doors for her, glancing up at Dan who was running their way to stop them, yelling obscenities.
Her lower lip quivered as the car sped away, and she watched her brother and their suitcases grow smaller and smaller, only to be finally swallowed by the dark distance.
''I'm here,'' Chuck reached out, kissing the top of her head and turning up the heat because she was shaking. ''I love you. I'm here now.''
She closed her eyes, comforted by the sound of his voice.
''Did you two wander off?'' An old man asked them - the owner - his bushy white eyebrows furrowed, swinging cabin keys in calloused hands. ''They yap about rural tourism and all that, but nobody comes unless they took a wrong turn.''
They had rented out a forlorn looking cabin somewhere outside of New York. The snow fell in a continuous pearly curtain, coating the entire landscape in white. There seemed to be no civilization for miles around, only pine forest and the luminous full moon. The dark cloak of night veiled the sky and wet roads became dangerously slippery.
''No, Sir,'' Chuck replied, still holding her hand, not letting it go, not since Manhattan. ''We needed a place to stay and stopped by on our way.''
Short answers. Generative. Something to be forgotten in a breath. They had to be careful.
''It is good that you did,'' The old man smiled gently, his eyes crinkling. ''You need shelter. They say a storm will rage tonight. Have a good night, kiddos.''
The inside of the cabin was charming, with wooden and stone walls, blankets - blankets everywhere - and fluffy carpet with pillows in front of the wide fireplace. There was a distinct scent of cinnamon in air. Blair regarded the place where they were supposed to lay low, her fingers still numb, flakes slowly melting at her shoulders.
''This is the first step of our life together,'' Chuck proudly said, brushing a stray hair behind her ear.
''It wasn't supposed to be like this,'' She shook her head, the anxiety stirring in her bosom. They weren't supposed to run away and hide. It was supposed to be perfect. Effective. Real. This wasn't. This was just a hasty patch-up of a wound that could never be closed.
''It doesn't matter anymore how it's supposed to be,'' He rubbed her forearms, pure joy glinting in his dark eyes. A joy she had a hard time denying. ''We're finally together, far away from everyone.''
''Go on,'' He nodded towards the telephone on the shelf. ''Call whomever you want.''
''Thanks a lot for throwing your iPhone away on the trip here,'' She rolled her eyes, but grinned at the sight of the phone, at the chance to call her mother. Jane would have been waiting for her at the station in the country, waiting for a daughter that would never come. The mere imagination of her mother, sitting on a crooked bench and glancing at every bus from New York made her chest ache.
The fire was already crackling merrily as she got off the phone, the cabin slowly beginning to warm. Their coats were drying off nearby, shoes tucked away in the closet. Somewhere outside, in this forsaken land, a dog barked. Chuck was sitting in front of the fireplace, leaning on the couch behind him.
''You know how to light a fire?'' She asked in surprise, her eyebrows raising almost to her hairline. This was a guy who thought his kitchen was just for a show.
''It's electric,'' He smirked and held up a corner of a blanket. She slid underneath it, scooting closer to his side. He tucked her in and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. They sat there as the cold melted off their bones and sense of comfort lulled them to relax.
''How did you know where to find me today?''
''I bribed Jessica,'' His short answer came, followed by precarious apprehension in the breaking of his knuckles.
She noticed his eyes on her, on her scars, unanswered questions hung in the air. But Blair wanted a minute of that vortex of silence to process the information, just needed to listen to that dog barking in the background and crackling of the fire before she could repeat mother's words again. Words that had her heart trembling.
''She told me to save myself,'' Blair finally spoke after a while, dazedly staring at the dancing flames - not having mercy enough to keep him in dark any longer. ''Mom told me to run and never look back.''
After a momentary shock, Chuck nodded, vividly bewildered. He buried his face in her hair, knowing how important Jane was to her. Knowing how much strength it took for her mother to say those words, to go against her own family and rules. It seemed surreal.
''She understands us,'' He murmured, rubbing her stiff shoulder, sensing her stress. ''Your mother believes things will get better. I do too.''
After she said nothing, but merely watched the flames in gloom, he pressed on, knowing her life had been difficult, aware of shadows that infested in her. Shadows that forced her to doubt her own merit. ''The only thing you need to do is believe.''
It was so easy to say that, because she was the one that made him believe in himself in the first place.
''I don't know what I'd do without you,'' She smiled up at him with such ardor and he thought no sun could match up to her radiance, no matter how strong her darkness could be sometimes.
''When I saw you on the ground today,'' He whispered, feeling the warmth of the fire on his left cheek. He could hear the muted crescendo of his heartbeat, until it grew louder, until it was all he could hear. For the second time that day, something malignant stirred in him, shifting it's feathery wings, and he shut his eyes to block screams that seared through lane of his memories. Blair's screams. Screams that made him snap and lose control. He was so close to killing someone today. ''I - Blair, I -''
She quickly placed her head in the crook of his neck, buried in his scent, breathing it in to calm him and herself. Chuck, strongly disturbed by the scenes that played out in his head, held her tighter, willing himself to forget it because he would have no peace - not until she was finally safe.
How could anyone be that cruel to break her beauty? How could anyone be that heartless to break her wings, tearing them apart feather by feather?
''It will pass,'' He said softly, comforted by the silken touch of her curls. She was here. Blair was okay. Blair would be okay. He would make sure of it. ''We'll heal our wounds first.''
They stayed like that for a while, listening to each other's breathing. Blair snuggled closer to him, drowsy as she said, ''Tell me a story.''
''Okay,'' he kissed the top of her head, caressing her back to soothe her. ''I'll tell you a story that will make you forget everything else. It all started with a slight accident after class last year.''
''I met this petite girl that was about to change my life forever. She didn't look like anyone I knew. The girl was awfully bad tempered, feisty...'' He let out a small chuckle as she nudged him, remembering distinctly the first time he met her. ''Stubborn.''
''It might sound strange, but it all started with 'Are you okay?'' He continued and she leaned her head on his chest, his steady heartbeat slowly lulling her to sleep. ''I used to liked to party. I liked to play cards, hang out with my friends... But nothing came close to... Nothing came close to the feeling of loving someone.''
He glanced down at Blair, at her peaceful scarred face, long lashes and split pouty upper lip. Warmth spread over him just like light spills over the hills and meadows at dawn, bathing the morning in a luminous glow.
He knew he would love that girl forever. He knew, in that moment, that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. Chuck wanted to see Blair grow old, he wanted to see each of her laughing lines deepen and stretch further. He wanted to see her hair turn from their luscious brown to the soft hue of gray. He wanted to be there in every waking moment.
''I never thought I would love somebody this much,'' He spoke quietly, as if not to disturb her and at the same time to keep away tremors of his voice. ''We've turned our backs to each other countless times. But every time after that, we'd hold each other tighter. And I found myself loving you more with each passing day.''
''I promise you we'll have a happy ending,'' Chuck breathed out, leaning his cheek against the top of her head, warmed with fire.
''Are you going to love me forever?'' Blair asked sleepily, question partly muffled. She looked up at him under her half-lowered lips and he leaned closer.
''I will love you until the day I die,'' He hummed happily against her lips, kissing her lightly when they parted, tasting the heaven.
''What a disgrace,'' Bart muttered as the red and blue flashing lights hit his beady eyes. With a straight back, he stalked between the police cars, through the crowd of policemen, a shocked Diana Sparks at his arm.
''What is this?'' He asked as he got to penthouse, usually empty luxury residence swarming with more officer. ''Where do you think you are? A donut bar?''
''Mr. Bass,'' A man in a black windbreaker came, flashing his badge and stretching out a peace of paper. ''We have a search warrant.''
Diana gasped, hand at her mouth and Bart took up to glare at the man, confused and outraged at the invaded privacy and interrupted getaway weekend at Hamptons. One police phone call and he had to take off his cashmere bathrobe, drop the freshly popped champagne bottle - flashy 1943 Dom Perignon - take a tedious chopper ride to Manhattan and deal with this mess - all of this on empty stomach.
''A search for what?''
''Your son has been charged with kidnapping,'' The inspector declared, folding up the paper, not taking his eyes off of the Big Bad Wolf.
''I beg your pardon?'' He sneered as Diana pressed closer to him in worry and in that moment, from the top of the floor, descending down the stairs - gracious even in the times of trauma - descended Evelyn, a mortal reincarnation of Thetis.
Her slanted eyes zeroed on Diana, a power hungry bitch with a stealth record of broken affairs and indiscreet lovers, clutching to her ex-husband. The new bait had been picked, she noted with abhorrence. Was he so foolish to fall for her ploy, under the spell of Lynx.
Yes, Evelyn knew all about the affair with Morreli while the hag was married to Sparks. How could they trust someone like her?
That is, of course, unless she slept with Bart for that partnership.
But then again, Lynx never seduced Zeus by the means of love potion. Because Zeus had always been womanizing cheating bastard.
''Send this woman away, immediately,'' She ordered, crossing her thin arms, eyes flashing lightning. ''And find my son, Bart Bass.''
The morning was soundless, tranquil and grounds were covered in smooth untouched snow. Blair woke up with a start, alone, in an unknown surrounding. She blinked her eyes several times, getting used to the unfamiliar feel of the bed and scent of the sheets. She wasn't scared - no. Looking out through the window, not seeing odious gray buildings and strangers in a rush, Blair felt serene. There was nothing but beauty out there.
''Good morning,'' Chuck entered the bedroom, sitting down on the bed next to her.
She let him peck her with a kiss, smelling the delicious scent of coffee on his sweater. ''Good morning. What time is it?''
''What do we care?'' He smiled down at her, his good mood only seeming to increase since yesterday. ''We'll get up now and have breakfast together. Then we'll take a walk, get some fresh air. After that, we'll do whatever you want to. Okay?''
Satisfied, she nodded. Chuck kissed her forehead and got up, leaving her to huddle beneath the duvet in search of a warmth.
''I'll go and ask the owner if there's a shop nearby or something,'' He said as he left the room. ''Get you something edible. ''
''Wait,'' She shot up from the bed, not trusting him with the grocery list. For god's sake that was the guy who thought his kitchen was for show. Blair could hear the sound of front doors being opened, could feel the cold wind sneak in the cabin, could hear the song of the birds greeting the morning. ''Come back!''
Immediately, Chuck returned grinning, and in his hands was a large tray with steaming tea, bread, jam and a butter - and a lovely card from the owners.
Blair sighed in relief and dropped back among pillows. ''Thank God.''
''What is that supposed to mean?'' He asked offended and put the tray in front of her. ''Does this have anything to do with my kitchen?''
''Mary?'' The old man came as fast as he could, lowering down his glasses, finger pointing at the picture in the papers. ''Isn't this the boy from last night?''
Mary, setting her knitting aside, took the papers from her husband and borrowed his glasses. ''High-society womanizer kidnapped a girl,'' She read out loud, squinting her eyes. ''Son of a famous businessman, Bart Bass, Charles Bass was charged with the kidnapping of his school mate. Janitor's family had reported the young playboy to the police. The Bass family has yet to release a statement.''
''Oh, my,'' She finished in shock, staring at the picture of Chuck Bass next to the article. The old couple was distracted with a sound as the said couple, bundled in coats, left the cabin for a stroll. They regarded them, especially the way they held hands, but then again - the girl had bruises and cuts all over her face.
''What are we going to do?'' Mary gasped, quite frightened to be sheltering a criminal and helping him hide his victim.
''We'll do what he have to do,'' The old man said, puffing out his chest as he noticed the kidnapper sauntering around with the poor girl, coming their way. ''We'll save her.''
''Good morning,'' Blair chirped and was met with deathly silence. Then she noticed the grave look on the owner's face, the way woman clutched the papers, glaring at Chuck.
Only then had she seen Chuck's face and the headline. Chuck paled, seeing himself accused a criminal, someone to be publicly searched to be sent to jail. He turned to Blair, ready to take her hand and escape somewhere else, but she pulled him back. Blair flashed him a meaningful look, telling him silently she was sick of running.
Blair turned to the owners and told them what happened. These people let them into their home and they needed to know the truth. They heard the story of their love, of their heartbreak and of their families. When she was done, Mary had tears in her eyes and even her husband turned away to wipe at his forehead. They promised to keep their secret and with honest hearts, wished them to enjoy days here - where nobody would ever find them.
''Great,'' Blair kicked a small pile of snow as they walked away, cloud over her brow. ''Now police is involved. Our families must have met somehow, ripping at each other's throats.''
''I honestly don't care what they're doing,'' Chuck tightened a knitted shawl they found in the closet in the cabin around her neck. ''Police will come? Let them. We're two consenting adults. What are they going to do?''
''Because of this silly situation,'' Evelyn delicately cleared her throat, looking him square at his weathered, worn-out face. ''We are, as much as you, unhappy and unfortunate. If we had this conversation earlier, maybe this wouldn't have happened.''
''What makes this so unfortunate for you, Mrs Evelyn?'' Bob asked gravely, looking at the unwelcome guests that rudely made a step through the doorstep - but no further - refusing every hospitality. His daughter was kidnapped, taken away by their hedonistic crooked son, and they thought themselves to be unfortunate? Was their son in danger, like his daughter? Was he in danger of someone hurting him, defiling him, corrupting him? ''Your son took my daughter away.''
''I myself think your daughter schemed all of this mess,'' Evelyn stated with pursed lips, pushing away any feeling that told her to feel sorry for this poor, old man - but she knew better. Evelyn knew of Blair lies and traps she had the skill to set up with such perfection - traps her son had the sense to unknowingly fall into.
''You son had taken my daughter away,'' Bob grit through his teeth, the vein on his head pulsating.
''My son,'' Evelyn calmly replied, part of her frustrated at the silence of her ex-husband that stoically stood next to her, doing nothing. ''Charles would never take anyone by force. If this too isn't conspiracy of your family,'' she stole a glance at Jessica, ''I bet it was your daughter's plan all along.''
''Listen here, lady,'' Jessica shot up, feeling herself personally offended. ''Your precious son barged in here like a criminal, demanding to know where Blair was-''
Bob put his hand up, effectively silencing her, wanting to avoid open fire. His tired eyes reverted to the odiously glamorous newcomers. ''Have you no honor? No respect? No conscience?''
''Before this gets uglier,'' Bart Bass clipped, having enough. He nodded at the spread newspapers on the table, Chuck's picture looking at them. ''Tell me how much you want. I'll pay in cash so you can find your lunatic daughter and get the hell out of here.''
''What are you talking about?'' Bob grit through his teeth, clutching rosemary in his fist. ''You think your money can buy the honor and pride of my daughter and my family? You pathetic man!''
''Pride?'' Bart sneered his upper lip curling. ''With these news, the only thing you'll get is fame at the bar on the corner. But for us?'' He motioned to his ex-wife importantly. ''We have a prominent last name. It's about reputation.''
''My daughter is gone,'' Bob grit through his teeth, feeling his heart hammer painfully. ''And you're talking about your reputation?''
''You should have kept a better eye on your kid then,'' Bart struck, angry that this fool refused to take money, refuse to settle this peacefully.
''How dare you-''
''She has my son around her little finger, did you know that?'' He continued to taunt, ignoring Evelyn's hand around his arm, tightening and pulling him back towards the door.
''Get out of my house!'' Bob yelled, clutching his heart, his chest hurting. ''Get out!''
''You're doing very well, pumpkin,'' Mary smiled, wiping her hands on her apron.
''Am I?'' Blair looked up eagerly, her hands busy with kneading dough.
''Of course, honey,'' She cooed, turning to wink at Chuck who was leaning on the counter, watching Blair as she worked at the table. ''You'll never go hungry with your loved one. Take this girl before someone else does. ''
Chuck grinned, lowering his head, but Blair managed to see blush before he hid it and she laughed, laughed at the fact this old lady managed to embarrass grand Chuck Bass.
''Let's see how it tastes like,'' He teased as she continued to poke her tongue at him while Mary wasn't looking.
''It's just dough,'' She rolled her eyes, pressing her weight on the wooden rolling pin. ''Not French cheese collection.''
Chuck sauntered over and took a small piece out of a perfect circle she just flattened.
''Aunt Mary! Tell him off!'' She pouted, staring at her mutilated circle. ''He's ruining it!''
Chuck smiled while Mary laughed, and he sneaked up on Blair's other side, stealing another piece of dough. Blair pressed her lips together, annoyed that he ruined the perfection she single-handedly made, and raised the rolling pin in threat. Chuck froze, pulling his hands up in surrender.
''Ah, to be young again.'' Mary sighed as she left the kitchen, passing her husband who was soundly asleep on the sofa in the living room and she disappeared out to gather more woods.
The smell of green tea spread through the place, and snow started to fall somewhere around noon, gathering on the window sill. Blair pressed the rolling pin, fixing her circle, starting all over again.
''We're at a beautiful place,'' She said, rubbing the side of her face with her wrist as it itched. ''I wish none of the things happened. I wish I can relax completely.''
''You will,'' He assured, brushing the flour that caught at her cheek. ''We have all the time you want. We'll get back here when things calm down, I promise.''
They made dinner as Chuck set up the plates and soon enough, everyone was at the table - passing dishes, pouring mineral water, handing out napkins. The apple pie came the last and Mary served them each a piece as he asked curiously, ''How long have you been together?''
''Fifty-five years,'' Eugene answered in a second, Mary's husband, his murky eyes twinkling under the light. Fifty-five years he had said, in such tone of voice, it suggested fifty-five days instead.
''That's an entire life.'' Blair gasped, remembering her very own parents - always so reserved, modest, placid. They were never so openly comfortable with each other like the elderly couple in front on her.
He nodded at them, smile hidden under the brush of his mustache. ''One life, two hearts.''
''Don't mind his sweet talk,'' Mary rolled her eyes, looking at the young couple with a phlegmatic look. ''He was a womanizer back in his days. Drove me crazy more times than I can count.''
''Don't mind her,'' Eugene winked cheekily, twirling his end of his gray mustache. ''I nearly lost both of my legs with all the running after her. It seemed impossible to catch up to her. But I did, and I got to keep my legs.''
''Oh, Gene,'' Mary patted his cheek lovingly, and the young couple stared at them in amazement. It seemed they were still in their honeymoon phase, as if they could never, would never, get bored of each other.
''The pair of you look very happy,'' Blair commented, something playing with cords of her heart.
''My pumpkin,'' Mary shook her head, wiping away corners of her wrinkled eyes. ''Where there is love, there is happiness. Love is love, even when it hurts.''
After the meal was done, they offered to help clean up, but Mary shooed them away, assuring them Eugene would do it since he slept through the dinner preparations. Quite full and content, bundled up in their coats, Blair and Chuck walked out for a stroll, moon following them in thoughtful silence.
''They're so adorable,'' Blair beamed, her hand hidden in his coat pocket, drunk on the idea of growing old with someone and sharing life together.
''And they look like us,'' Chuck added, rolling a piece of snow in his hands as they sauntered through the front yard, his mind on the same page as hers. ''Gentle, troublesome, but sweet lady. And a cool guy who led a stormy, turbulent life.''
''Or we could say it like this,'' She piqued, eyebrow raised in challenge. ''Troublesome, tricky old man and charming lady that kept all of her elegance.''
Chuck cocked his head, watching in silent reverence as Blair frolicked around, twirling under the moonlight, wearing dreamy look. How free had she looked in that moment. How bewitching. His heart ached, wishing to see her like this every day, every hour, every second.
''We'll be like them in several years,'' He breathed out, some ancient instinct - instinct of the gods that once walked this earth - instilled confidence in his meditation.
''You'll be the troublesome one,'' She stopped to look at him under her lashes, smiling slyly.
Deep down, elation that could not be put into words overwhelmed her, elation as she realized he wanted the same thing. He wanted to grow old with her too. Just as she turned away from him to hide a blush - something hit her back. She gasped, turning around to see crushed snowball on the floor and Chuck whistling to himself, looking up at the sky in faux innocence.
''Chuck Bass, this is war!'' She leaned down and quickly made a ball herself, hitting him square in the shoulder as he tried to duck.
''Bring it on!'' He quickly retaliated and before she knew it, there was snow in her hair, chilling tingling of glow on her skin and pure happiness filling her up to the brim, overflowing to glaze the yard in magic.
Blair watched him in slow motion, saw Chuck as he caught her snowball midair, throwing his head back with a delighted, boyish chuckle.
Sometimes, she thought she saw him grow wings, but then she blinked and they were gone. Their laughter echoed in the night, as the firm embrace of darkness surrounded them, they could feel nothing but joy. Blair realized then - no - maybe just remembered, that she would still love him. If the world stopped spinning, if heaven and hell tear them apart, if he ever forgot her - Blair would still love Chuck.