Chapter Forty-Two
Love Me More
''You don't need to be better than anyone else,
You just need to be better than you used to be.''
When Humphrey ladies entered the Sparks apartment, not one of them could believe their eyes. Having been known as renowned New York fashionistas and trendsetters, they could hardly keep their cool as they gazed upon the horrifying scene. Dozens of pieces of outrageously expensive jewelry laid scattered over the floor, ripped apart and broken at the seams. High-end clothes, many of them their own creations, were strewn around the apartment, violated with scissors.
''Picking up her things?'' Georgina asked, sitting on the couch as if having a tea party, smoking a cigarette. ''Maybe Bart is not as generous as my father was.''
''Georgie,'' Jenny approached the girl, careful not to startle her, coughing at the smoke. ''Lets talk.''
''Spare me,'' She rolled her eyes, putting out the cigarette in one of the vases filled with dying tulips. Heavy breathing already took her over, that strange pallor of her skin glowing demoniacally. The girl stared at mother and daughter, seething darkness in her eyes. ''If I find out that tramp is still living at my father's hotel - I'll burn the place down.''
''Honey,'' Allison struggled to keep her composure. She knew Sparks kid had some behavior issues, Diana always mulled about it. But she had assumed it would pass with puberty, or perhaps that it was something Diana liked to exaggerate about, in order to make herself look better. Looking now, it didn't appear as a phase or a lie. ''Calm down, please. This is no way to deal with a problem.''
''There is nothing to deal with,'' Georgina laughed uncontrollably. ''Diana no longer exists!''
Mother and daughter looked at each other, silently agreeing the girl was absolutely crazy.
''Get out of my house,'' hotly replied Georgie, reading the look too well. She snatched few picked up things from Mrs. Humphrey's hand, furiously throwing them to the ground. ''I wonder if that slut dares to come here by herself.''
''Welcome back,'' Edward Morelli greeted her on Monday morning with an affectionate, yet guarded smile. His tousled sandy hair was carried by the chilly breeze. Blair's breath stopped at his striking, familiar blue eyes and the force of the spirit he seemed to always emit. All in all, Blair found she had missed him - a lot. ''How are you? How's your dad?''
''He'll get better,'' she gratefully replied as they entered the building, met by tepid air of a crowded institution. ''I will too.''
As they walked through the hall together, their hands nearly touching, Chuck emerged on the other side. For briefest moment a startled look came over his face. As the distance shortened, his expression became more and more hostile as two men warily watched each other. Her heart sped up at the sight of him.
She took a quick glance at Morelli.
Chuck's upper lip curled as he passed by, disappearing behind the corner.
''You and Bass...'' Morelli began warily.
''Doesn't matter,'' She curtailed.
''I'm not asking because of me,'' He reverted his stormy eyes towards her. A couple of girl students passed by them, enthusiastically greeting their professor, blushing and giggling, but he merely tightly nodded back at them. Blair noticed the way girls stared at him. ''I'm asking for your sake. I just wanted to remind you I'm still your friend.''
Something odd stirred in her guts. Ed was always there for her, even when she pushed him away. Her Father had told her all about how he stood by their side through everything, helping them deal with the chaos that ensued after her abrupt departure. He even hired Dan as a chauffeur for his mother that moved into her building in the meantime.
Moreover, she was sure he was the one to persuade her father to forgive her. Of all people, he understood her relationship with her family the best. There were countless things which he did - solely for her - and for which she could never repay him.
He gazed at her with those electric blue eyes, as he always did, with such guarded, shelter fervor - it left her feeling slightly rattled. Baffled by her own feelings, Blair pushed her hair behind her ear and turned around, leaving him be.
All of a sudden, as she rounded the deserted hall, someone snagged her arm, pulling her inwards and simultaneously stifling her yelp with a hand.
''Shh!'' The culprit murmured in her ear, as she kicked around, her heart hammering in fear. ''Calm down, Mrs. Bass.''
Upon the sound of his husky voice, upon the title which nobody on Earth except themselves knew of, Blair relaxed and let his strong hands guide her to turn around. Her smile grew at the look of his beautiful face, a face she longed to see ever since she moved back home. He circled an arm around her waist, unlocking doors of a darkened, empty classroom. ''It's a lot harder than I thought it would be. I can't stand not being around you.''
''This pretending to hate each other is kind of fun, though.'' She smirked, sliding her cold fingers under his shirt as he locked the doors.
''How are they treating you?'' He asked seriously, putting his hand over her searching fingers - effectively stilling them.
''They're distant.'' Blair's eyebrows knotted, secretly bothered by his rejection. She had been waiting for days to put her hands on him.
She remembered her fathers words; Despite everything you've done, I have still faith in you. Promise me you'll be good.
Blair inwardly squirmed, knowing what he was asking of her was nearly impossible. She wasn't born to be good, to be obedient and pure. She could never be what they wanted her to be. On the other hand, this was peace offer and she had to do everything to accept it. This came down to a matter of life and death.
''But decent enough.''
''I haven't slept all night.'' Chuck sighed, leaning on a table, away from her. She noticed his smallest movement with an astounding sharpness. Dim daylight fell on him in that spot, to some degree outlining his body in the dense shadow. And she saw all the signs of fatigue, shadows under his eyes, dark and ominous. He had been up all night, waiting for her with a ready car and packed bags. Once again, she had abused his love, and cursed herself for it. ''How long is this going to last?''
''I talked to my dad.'' She eagerly explained, throwing her hands around his neck freely, knowing nothing could happen to them here. There was a glint in her eyes again, as if all hope of the world gathered in the pair of iris. ''He thinks I ran away because I was scared.''
Chuck nodded, not able to be as pleased as her by this revelation. He still thought her coming back home was absolutely crazy and reckless. He clenched his jaw, looking away for a moment. ''I talked to my father too. He decided to drop the charges, after all, if I move out of this building. I told him no.''
''It's all over the morning papers,'' She bit her lip in anxiety. ''Bart had it published. He is trying to scare us.''
Silence befell them and wind howled outside, angrily beating against windows.
''Who cares,'' Blair shrugged, forcing herself to sound airy as soon as she detected a heavy change in Chuck's attitude. He had grown cold, lost in thought. ''All I care about is the time when we'll tell my family we've gotten married.''
''Can I hurt you by staying in the building?'' He carefully asked, taking no heed of her half-hearted ecstatic words.
Sudden cloud lowered over her brows as her heart stopped. ''Do you want to leave?''
Noticing her scared expression, Chuck's face softened. He cupped her face, gazing down at her as their foreheads touched. ''No.'' He gently said, kissing her full on the mouth. Blair spread her lips, inviting his tongue in, kissing him back with ardor.
''I want us to leave this place together,'' He breathed out, pulling her closer. He slipped his hand under her plaid skirt and she gasped as overpowering fire took over her senses, as it always did around him.
''We will,'' she said against his lips, holding tightly lapels of his blazer. ''As long as you're there, I can stand anything.''
Half an hour later, Chuck waited ten minutes to emerge after Blair left. He tucked his crisp shirt into Tom Ford suit pants, silently whistling to himself.
''Chuck,'' someone called him as he reached the main hall. When he spotted her, he couldn't help but to roll his eyes and continue as if he didn't hear a thing. Georgina came up to him, that crazy wide-eyed look all over her face. ''Did you know Diana and Bart are together?''
Truth be told, it was the last question he expected. It took him a moment to process information. He suspected they've been sleeping together for a long time. Father was probably just using her, as he had used every person in his life - including him. He was nothing but an Heir, Diana was nothing but someone to keep his bed warm and make the business run fluidly. He was sure Diana was very much far from being in love with Moneybag aka Bart.
''Nice,'' He drawled, shoving hands in his pockets. ''They fit each other.''
''What?' Georgina stammered, surprised by the reply. ''That's it?''
''Listen,'' He sighed, kind of feeling sorry for the girl. She had nobody but that aged leech in high heels. ''I have nothing to do with that hotel or my Father anymore. I'm sorry, but I can't help you. I don't care what they're up to.''
''Clean the house thoroughly, please.'' Evelyn commanded, eyes hidden behind dark Chanel sunglasses. ''My husband is coming back home this weekend. Thank you, Marlene. ''
Maid nodded and went back inside, grateful for dismissal for it was unbearably cold that day. Just then, a limo rolled over and parked in front of Evelyn's town car, blocking it. Her chauffeur muttered an apology and honked at the rudeness, but the limo stayed put. A man had emerged out of it, dressed in his usual attire - tailored black suit, a grey cashmere shawl and black leather gloves. She had recognized him immediately.
Evelyn had waited until Bart approached car doors, leaning in to see her better, to close the window in his face. He frowned as she looked straight ahead, ignoring him, debating whether to stay like this all day. The insult he threw her way last time was still very fresh.
Finally, she decided to get this through and slowly rolled down the window.
He smiled, showing pearly whites, thick mist coming out of his mouth. That smile was no good.
''I've expected a phone call, but you've come personally. I'm surprised.''
''I think your little show deserves more than a phone call.''
''Right,'' She nodded slowly, taking off her sunglasses to see him eye-to-eye. ''That woman needed to be reminded of her place. I told her what I think and let Georgina know what she already needed to. That's all.''
Now I know who is your son like, he remembered Diana's words of last night as she flashed him a withering look. Your ex-wife is absolutely uncontrollable and aggressive.
Yet Evelyn acted so cool know in front of him, but still - there was that luring fire in her dark exotic eyes.
''You're jealous of her,'' He stated confidently, corner of lips pulling curling up. ''Because of me.''
That fire roared, as he expected it would and his ex-wife pushed open the doors with pursed lips, nearly hitting him in the process.
''How happy does it make you to even imagine me being jealous, Bart?'' She cocked her head, daring him with her burning gaze. ''I'm sorry to disappoint you. I have abandoned jealousy a long time ago.''
''You only abandoned me,'' He raised his brow comically. ''Not jealousy.''
''Too bad,'' Evelyn kept her eyes trained on him, exceptionally familiar with every line of his face, as only once passionate lovers know how to be. He was trying to charm her, trying to affect her with his smugness of revelation. ''I know you so well. That woman expects a lot from you.''
She smirked, knowing there was nobody to come even as close to this man of a steel as she once did. ''I bet she thinks you're scolding me now for her sake. Yet you're here, overjoyed at the thought of me being jealous of Diana. I really do feel sorry for her.''
As soon as classes finished, Chuck took off to Management Club, knowing the scandalous, but the absolutely ravishing president would be there. Since Nate and Serena decided to stay longer in Aspen, braiding each other's hair and sipping hot chocolate in front of the fireplace, Chuck had nobody he cared enough for to make an effort to chat for longer than 0.3 seconds.
If only he had known Blair would be late due to overbearing Professor Martha, if only he had known who would be in the said club, Chuck would think twice about answering Paige regarding Blair's potential Stockholm Syndrome.
''Back to your old apartment for good?'' Morelli asked after their gazes clashed and all energy they bottled up around Blair came to the surface with raging waves and maddening thunders.
''None of your business.'' Chuck curtly replied, clenching his jaw.
''It will harm her,'' Ed murmured, swiftly pressing keyboards on his laptop, finishing up his report. When he heard his opponent scoff, Ed deemed he didn't present himself earnestly enough. Letting go of his work, he put his hands on the edges of the table. ''I've been talking to Dan lately, listened carefully to what he had to say.''
''So?'' Chuck drawled, having his back turned to the guy to hide how uneasy he felt by the comment. Frustration grew with each word he heard.
''Be careful, Bass. You used to hurt Blair on purpose. You're capable of doing it now too, though unintentionally.''
''Nothing is as it was.'' Chuck snapped, staring down at Blair's ex-boss that he once thought was her boyfriend. For some strange reason, the presence of this man always managed to endlessly irk him.
''You still haven't got to know her family or the importance of them accepting her again. Your presence in that building can only harm her. If I were you-''
''But you're not me.'' Chuck interrupted quietly, threatening, getting into his face.
At that moment, Blair waltzed into the club and froze at the sight of them. As a consequence, men separated and Morelli muttered a goodbye, taking Macbook under his arm and leaving the room immediately.
''What happened?'' She asked worriedly, looking at the retreating figure of Ed, a strange glint in her eyes.
''Nothing,'' Chuck pulled on his bow-tie, shifting his jaw. ''I can't stand that bastard.''
''I thought he might have told you something,'' she cleared her throat, pushing hair behind her ear.
Upon hearing approaching avalanche of footsteps outside, they quickly backed away from each other. Laughter echoed in the hall and abruptly died as soon as the doors opened and the rest of their study partners entered. With an awkward hum and loud noise of chairs scraping the floor, they had all seated themselves at the small round table. Blair and Chuck sat across one another, but nobody could see their feet touching.
''Let's just use my strategy,'' he commenced as soon as they set the materials, taking over the control which came so easily to him in the aspect of business. ''Otherwise, we'll face heavy loss.''
Blair's rose colored marker paused in the middle of highlighting and she slowly looked up, raising a brow in defiance, ''I'm ready to take a risk and increase anticipated profit. You're free to cower under the desk.''
Someone stifled a laugh, someone started coughing uncontrollably - caught by surprise.
''Anticipated profit?'' he repeated with a scoff. ''Complete bankruptcy, more like it. A profit... What a typical fairy tale, you should have studied English Lit instead.''
''And you should have studied Drama,'' she bit back, pulling back her feet.
He tried to catch her eye, though there were half a dozen trained on them, but Blair stubbornly stared at her notes. Biting back a sigh, he quickly scribbled something on the corner of his textbook.
'Wanna get out?'
It took a while to get a reaction out of her. He had tried catching her eye again, he had tried touching her foot, but accidentally ended up fondling idiotic Richard Spencer who stared at him as if electrified. Everyone at the table seemed to be on some stand by, as if waiting for some key, for a missing piece of the puzzle because their story was currently an utter chaos. Finally, she spoke.
''If I didn't have to,'' Blair bit out lowly, but loud enough for everyone to hear. ''I wouldn't be working with you.''
With that theatrical speech, she quickly picked up her things and stormed out of the Constance. It took Chuck some time to follow her, long enough that no one suspects anything. Then they met in the corner of the street, in the secluded darkness of his limo, stripping each other and laughing at the dumbstruck faces of their fellow classmates - so gullible, so hungry for the show which notorious couple was feeding them with.
''Is she here?'' Georgina seethed, furiously slamming taxi doors behind her. The driver drove off, shaking his head, swearing to himself never to pick up people from Millennium again.
''I hadn't seen her,'' Jenny rolled her eyes, presuming she was talking about Diana. Lately, that's all she seemed to be talking about. Jenny's dog sniffed around the hydrant, for some unexplainable reason always loitering around it for ages before going for a walk in the park.
Just then, heaving a modest bag with strands of expensive fabric peeking out, the woman in question appeared out of the main doors.
''Georgie...'' Jenny got a hold of her elbow, sensing girl's building rage.
''Let me go!'' flinched back Georgina, curling her fist, her deadly glare set on one person only. ''Came to pick up fancy stuff my dad bought for you?''
Diana's head whipped up, her face draining of color instantly. Her step-daughter snatched the Louis Vuitton bag from startled woman and hurled it on the floor, blinded by a tidal wave of anger, grief, and sorrow. Pieces of jewelry rolled over and across the pavement. Jenny's dog waggled over to them, curiously sniffed and walked away uninterested.
''You're still at my dad's hotel?!'' She shoved her, making Diana stumble and trip. ''How can you be sleeping with that man in my dad's room!''
''Georgie stop!'' Jenny screamed, helpless and anxious, but then one of the neighbors appeared, breaking off the scuffle. He recognized immediately the crazy Sparks kid and beautiful, the elegant widow with pristine manners and high business reputation. Coming to his senses, he picked up the bag off the floor and helped the poor woman get to the waiting car as the berserk teenage girl screamed, ''I won't let you stay at the hotel, you slut!''
''Stop it, Georgina!'' Jenny pleaded breathlessly, her heart beating fast with nervousness. ''Just stop! You need to get some help.''
''Let go of me!'' Pale terrifying beauty grit through her teeth. ''That whore cheated on my dad!''
''I know you're hurt,'' The blond stated trying to calm her down, picking up her dog that kept jumping on her Uggs in impatience. ''I know you're upset, but Diana didn't cheat on your dad. You dad passed away. He wouldn't want you to be acting like this.'''
''Wow,'' Georgina halted, stung by bold words of her father's death. It felt like she lost him once again. Had it been so long ago since he went away? Had the world already forgotten him? ''So you're defending her too. You're even using my dad to do it. Is it because she's friends with your mother? Because she's a regular shopper at your store?''
''What are you trying to say?'' Jenny shifted her restless puppy on other arm, brows knotted, hoping she misunderstood the words.
''Well of course.'' G laughed out loud, a vicious humorless sound. ''Without Diana, the store would be closed in less than a week. You're all in this together. All you people think about is yourself!''
''You're completely crazy!'' Jenny shrieked in outrage, walking away towards a park.
Georgina's eyes started to fill with tears the moment she was left alone. Once again, shadows appeared on the corners, whispering, luring her to do bad things. To hurt people she loved. To remind her she was all alone and abandoned. Maybe it was for the best. Maybe shadows were her only friends after all, though they scared her to death.
When Blair finally arrived, the table had been pulled out to fit more people. It hadn't been like that since mom was there. Sitting casually as if the whole place didn't fit in his bedroom, was Edward Morelli, preparing to dine with them.
It was by far the most awkward night of Blair's life.
They had laid out their fancy, rustic white lace tablecloth. They had brought out every piece of fork and knife they owned, making it into a funny mismatching set. Ed came, dressed casually - black leather jacket and black pants with fancy boots - and still managed to look comfortable in their lair of poverty. Though his perfectly styled hair did look absurd next to her dad's bald spot in the middle of his head.
She watched Dan chat eagerly with the guest, though her friend remained somewhat reserved through the conversation. Father passed him every plate of food that could be passed, broad smile on his weathered face. Despite being sick and forlorn lately, this visit seemed to brighten his spirit. Blair wondered what was about Morelli her family liked so much?
What was about Chuck they disliked so much, with the exception of his last name?
''Bon apetito.'' Jessica fawned, giggling like an idiot. ''As the French would say.''
They all seemed to be in love with him. She wondered what was that it kept Ed here. Blair wondered, yet she already knew the answer.
It was her that kept him here.
''Isn't it hard for you,'' Dad worried. ''To live alone in a hotel? Why don't you take a lease?''
Blair suppressed giving out blatant, sarcastic comment for the tenth time that night. Her family could be so oblivious to the world sometimes. Having 24 hours service, personal maid, all meals to be brought to room, spa and gym on the floor below - how awfully hard.
As if reading her mind, Ed caught her eyes, corner of his mouth lifting up for an inch in imperceptible amusement. ''I find it much more practical, Sir.''
''My boy, I thought I told you to call me Bob.''
Morelli looked at him, a feeling of such warmth tackling the big giant of serenity that held the gates to whatever the man was hiding. Very slowly, he smiled, for a moment seeing something in Bob, something like remembering a good feeling you once forgot, something that nobody else saw.
''How can you be paying five star hotel with professor paycheck?'' Jessica quipped, having no shame to intrude on such touchy personal matter. Blair grit her teeth at the rudeness, flashing her a glare which she so obviously ignored.
''God gives each person what they deserve,'' Bob nodded at them solemnly like he did every time he spoke of religion. ''Wealth of your heart, my boy, will get what it deserves. Blair, serve a man some potato salad.''
Ed, feeling they were pampering him too much, quickly rose too and gently took a bowl out of her hands. For briefest moment, their fingers touched and both of them suppressed a blush.
She felt guilty. Blair felt happy because her family loved him, yet she couldn't help but to wish he was Chuck instead - laughing with her family and her father calling him 'my boy'.
''Oh my God, Blair!'' Jessica burst out loud laughing, covering her mouth with her hand in humorous bewilderment. ''How weirded out would your friends from school be to see your professor here?''
Meaning, how weirded out would Chuck be to see him here. Blair's gaze clashed with Ed's, some silent emotion passing between them that Jessica managed to pry upon. As if what they had was secret, forbidden.
''I mean about being his pet and all,'' Dan's fiancé winked as the rest of her family stared in confusion.
''Don't you miss cruising the waves?'' Dan asked, managing to avoid Blair's eye throughout whole dinner, though they sat across from each other. Blair sighed, glad for this diversion. Somehow, she had a feeling everyone's eyes were upon her, knowing her and Edward's secret. As if sensing there was something going on between them.
''I'll get back to it one day.'' Ed replied quietly, managing a weak smile. Blair stared at his blue orbs, wondering how could not anyone see the turquoise nostalgia hidden under thick dexterity of stoic peace? ''Land didn't bring me much luck.''
''How romantic,'' Jessica sighed, seeing nothing but dollar signs and a luxurious yacht. ''Isn't it Blair?''
Blair sharply looked at the idiot, wondering what the hell was she trying to do.
''How is my Blair doing in class?'' Bob thankfully interrupted, slowly munching on his food.
''I won't do so great if I don't start studying.'' Blair pushed her chair back and dropped her napkin on the plate. Morelli sharply looked up. She avoided looking at him, muttering them all a goodnight, not caring if they thought she was rude. She just couldn't stand them anymore, or how natural Morelli was around her family, or that Chuck was upstairs - alone.
Blair dropped on her bed and from hidden place drew out wedding papers. She clutched them in a fist, closing her eyes. Soon, they would be out of here.
That night at midnight, as every midnight since she moved back home, a pebble hit glass of her barred window.
''Rocco's.'' Chuck drawled as she opened up, rolling his eyes, referring to bag of Éclairs Edward brought with him for the desert. ''How nice of him.''
''You should see your face,'' Blair stifled a laugh though something worrisome prickled in her guts. ''Green doesn't suit you.''
''You're right, I wish someone had delivered dessert to my doorstep too. Instead of that, I had a tube of Pringles while binge watching How To Get Away With Murder.''
''Aw,'' She cooed, pressing her face to steel bars and kissing him. ''I'm sorry, were you planning to commit one?''
''Nearly. What happened between you and Morelli?'' he asked seriously, his acute observance once again startling her. ''You're not as close as you were, yet he became friends with Dan, eats dinner at your house with your family.''
As if on reflex of a danger, she moved away from him. How could she tell him Ed was in love with her?
How could she betray Morelli's trust like that? Especially after Ed promised not to ever do anything if she doesn't ask him first and respectfully kept his distance. Chuck would kill him if he knew and Ed was too precious to lose. He had been there through everything - from the mere beginning, when Chuck and her still at war - silently helping her without ever wanting something in return.
No matter how complicated things have got, he was ultimately her friend - maybe something even more than that. She couldn't cross him by starting another fire, breaking his trust by snitching on his most delicate sentiments.
Blair wanted to keep Edward Morelli in her life, by any cost.
''Yet you act like he doesn't exist,'' continued Chuck, scrutinizing her face more closely, as if he suspected something. ''That right there is much more interesting that the color of my face.''
''What happened between you two, Blair?'' He asked once again, gaze peentrating.
''Nothing,'' she swiftly replied, looking at him straight in the eyes because her feelings for Ed somehow gave her strength to go against something she swore never to do. Blair steadily uttered a first lie to her husband, color of it very much debatable. ''I just don't feel lonely anymore. I have you now.''
She forced her lips into a smile and stretched out her hand through the bars to touch him. Chuck seemed to hesitate for a moment, but soon took her fingers and kissed them - one by one.
A/N: Review, please! :) I hate my life :) And my boss :) I have 4 exams next week :) Oh sweet death :)