Chapter Forty-Six

Heads Will Roll

''Me and you, we got more yesterday than anybody.

We need some kind of tomorrow.''

''Edward?'' She gasped upon opening the doors, thinking for a moment it was one of those dreams when he comes back to her, begging her to forgive him. And she never does forgive, but let's him in anyway.

''I was worried about you,'' He stood still in the hallway.

''Really?'' Diana's brow quirked as her temper overcame her ever-simmering attraction for him. As if she was a poison, he had dropped her and let her drown in a loveless marriage, burdened by a psycho step-daughter. ''Or you just came to make sure Georgina will be punished for what she did to Blair?''

She regarded him and his two-day beard, leather jacket and crumpled grey shirt underneath. Even now, he oozed irresistible sex in his combat boots, but she could never forgive that brat downstairs from stealing him away. She could never forgive him for trading her for someone so poor, so young.

''Georgina needs help,'' His clever blue eyes flashed, scolding one wild thing nobody could see in her but him. It was what she loved about him the most, only he could tame her, calm her deadly ambitious mind. ''She needs a professional help, not punishment. I was actually wondering how you're holding up.''

''I'm doing well,'' Diana replied smugly, leaning on the doors trying very hard to triumph over him, yet silently begging him to beg her to let him in. ''I was wondering the same thing about you? Considering Blair has gotten married. Not to mention the latest scandal. It's all over the papers.''

''You really did lose this time,'' She smirked at his heavy silence, though her heart was coiling in pain. She had lost him, the only man she ever loved and the suffering on his brows only made her pain sweeter. ''How does that feel, Edward Morelli?''

They stared at each other, one burdened with jealousy and other with countless cases of sorrow. A scar which nothing seemed to soothe. Long lost were days when a pair of good legs and smooth shoulders could make him forget. The burden of guilt and past debauchery weighed heavy on him and meeting Blair was like being lightened by the ray of sunshine. In this dark, twisted world he had found something sincere, someone different.

Suddenly, Diana's eyes looked over his shoulder and her lips curled into a beckoning smile.

''Jackson,'' She sang with much more delight than usual. ''Welcome.''

Edward turned around at the name, blue eyes clashing with blue - same color, same shape, but very different energy. His younger brother strolled over, hands in his pockets, wearing a lazy grin. Last time they saw each other, Ed had a backpack slung over his shoulder, knocking at his brother's bedroom doors to say goodbye. Those doors remained closed. Even now, there was hostility that hid under Jackson's cover of relaxed demeanor.

It'd been years. His little brother was now a full-grown man.

''Edward stopped by for a second.'' Her green eyes flashed with contemptuous wickedness. She had wanted to hurt him, as much as he hurt her. ''He was just leaving.''

Ed was no simpleton, nor a robot for that matter. He was seized with the feeling of being unwanted. How that feeling had plagued him these couple of months, like a restless claw of gloom. As much as being used to loneliness, nothing can prepare a man for a rejection of a people he once treasured. Turning around to go up the stairs and visit his mother, as he had planned in the beginning before making a quick stop which proved to be a fatal mistake, his brother called out to him, ''Mother has a headache.''

They had moved here only a month ago, moved to Manhattan all the way from Los Angeles and there was something sinister in the situation. After all these years, his family went actively to search for him. Why?

A tremor passed through him as his leg still hung in the air, an inch away from the first step. Those were the first words his brother choose to say to him, after years and years of silence. After Edward walked out of their family home never to return. There was a thick layer of resentment over Jackson's voice, a loud and sardonic sign of unwelcome.

''Be a good boy and don't disturb her.''

Something in Ed's chest tightened. Being back on land meant facing issues he had left behind eons ago. Years on the sea had passed and he didn't feel himself getting any older. With salt in his hair and sea on his lips, as he set foot on hot cement, only then did he notice how everything grew, changed to non-recognition. He felt like a fish on dry land, helplessly flapping its fins, unable to cry out.

''Is she really ill?'' Diana whispered as they thought he was gone, unaware Edward stopped down the stairs, hearing each word. ''Or did you say that just to make him leave?''

Jackson's cocky smile fell and he pulled a daily pill box out of his pocket, handing it over to his neighbor. His eyebrows knotted, showing worry.

''I'm not sure. She says she takes these for migraines. Can you recognize them?''

Diana took the case and opened it, shuffling colorful tablets of different sizes. ''I don't know, these aren't the ones I'm taking.''

''Bart, what is going on? Who is that girl?''

''Calm down,'' He evenly stated as he perceived his ex-wife's inner disarray, today's papers with Chuck's and that girl's picture in clinic hidden in a briefcase. The last thing he wanted to do was agitate her further with another reminder of the damned article. ''Her mother came by today to see me.''

He slid a file towards her before taking a sip of scotch. Steaming cup of decaf with soy milk awaited Evelyn, for he still remembered her drink of choice, but it was left untouched.

''Heather Grimes.'' He declared smoothly as she went over the file, and he took the chance while she was busy to glance at the velvety skin of her legs. ''Used to be one of those second-rate models until she married Kevin Pollock. Remember Pollock, the major construction manager? Years ago, we used to bump into him at charities and galas.''

Evelyn shut the file. ''But that was so long ago.''

''She is his second wife,'' Bart strained not to look down on her legs again for her eyes were pointed directly at him, as if challenging him to. He cleared his throat and continued, ''After Pollock died, she took management into her own hands and nearly led the company to ruin.''

''What does it have to do with us, though?'' Evelyn's eyebrows knotted and at that time, Bart got a dismayed realization he was alone in this mission of logics. ''What's important is if she's telling the truth or not. Is it true what the article says?''

He took a hasty drink of scotch at the mention of that article and that.. that thing.

''Is Chuck really the father of the baby?'' She finished with a mellow voice, sighing deeply.

The only woman in Manhattan that gets thrilled at the thought of being a grandparent, her ex-husband mused to himself.

''We can't find that out until paternity test. I won't be taken for a fool, though. It is obvious they're in for the money.''

After parading around about integrity, reputation and respectability the moment Heather Pollock sat down at the table this morning, Bart had already been prepared. How the old Pollock hag's eyes widened this morning as he told her Chuck was already married. How her fangs retracted and botoxed face turned into a proper grotesque. Bart Bass was no Ninny.

''Money?'' Evelyn's slanted eyes flashed and, Bart thought to himself, for people who were desperate and dependent on that almighty dollar, ladies surely always spoke the word with revulsion and outrage. ''Listen to me, Bart Bass. Pollock family is not as powerful as is used to be, but it's a well-standing family. Let's keep that in mind.''

''What are you trying to say?''

''If they're lying,'' She shrugged carefully, playing with her Cartier necklace seemingly innocently. ''It will only last three or four months until we can determine the fatherhood. On the other hand, if they're telling the truth - we'll become grandparents.''

''What?'' He nearly spat at the word, coughing scotch that got stuck in his breathing pipe. Bart clutched at his throat, looking at her elated face in utter disbelief. How could she be this delighted? Little bastard may not even be Chuck's. Bart was only 46, a prime time of man's life - rich enough to do as he pleases, smart enough to make no mistakes. It was hardly a time to be labeled as a goddamn grandfather. It implied gray hair, Viagra, and cruises for seniors.

''Is it a boy or a girl?'' She sighed, her eyes getting misty.

''What kind of nonsense is that?'' He hissed, fidgeting in his seat. Just the thought of diapers, and crying, and incessant crying made him book a jet to Bora Bora. One-way flight, possibly with several long-legged blonds. ''I'm considering denouncing my son, his offspring is the furthest thing from my mind!''

Because these Pollock women just may be vultures, circling for money and fame, like every woman on Manhattan above the age of 16. They all want their claws on his son, on great Chuck Bass and his inheritance. Bart will be damned to let his moron of a son ruin everything. So easily fooled by a pair of good hips, he'd lead the whole Bass name to bankruptcy in a blink of an eye.

''Don't you realize what could this baby mean?'' Evelyn went on, talking in a hush. ''Blair won't back down because of one article, but if we support this Pollock girl - it could change everything.''

They had spent the entire weekend in Hamptons, in Chuck's vacation home, walking the beach and letting their toes sink in the sand. Their phones were off, nobody from outer world could reach them. There was only them, their love and the dream of spending their future together.

It was Sunday afternoon, most serene part of a week, and they were flying home in his private jet, somewhere above Westbury. She noticed the subtle shade of pale he gained since stepping on the plane. Her husband fidgeted in his seat, occasionally pulling on his maroon bow-tie as if there was a monster waiting in Manhattan, ready to devour them.

''I need to tell you something.'' He shifted his jaw, not daring to look away from her lest he lost his courage, twirling gold ring on his wedding finger.

In the spur of the moment, they had exchanged wedding bands only last night - drunk on the idea of spending the rest of their lives together. Under the moonlight, they kissed and made love like only lovers do, their hands tightly grasped together.

''Nothing good, obviously.'' She calmly said, continuing to sip on her flute of champagne, gazing at her own wedding ring. Beautiful square diamond shone on a lined set of smaller gems. Even now, Blair couldn't get used to the amazing feeling that nestled in her heart since choosing to be with him. Despite feeling slightly lightheaded from champagne, she observed every twitch of his muscle with a practiced eye.

''I need to say it.'' Chuck put his hand on her knee.

She licked her lips at the electric sensation of his touch. ''Yes?''

Very slowly, she guided his hand further up her thigh, looking at him under her lashes, biting her lower lip. Even the mere memory of this weekend's escapade sent her in a delicious state of flurry. The thought of him pampering her during the day and thrusting at her during the night made her want to handcuff his and her hand, and throw the key in a deep, deep ocean - forever to be lost.

His eyes turned coal black, gaining that viciousness of a predator. Complete eclipse of his mind, guided by her fingers. Whatever he wanted to say was overshadowed by the raw display of her need for him.

She crashed her lips with his, filled with insatiability he evoked in her with every glance of his dark, sultry eyes - a desire to have more; more of him, more of them. It made her forget the world underneath them and subtle looks stewardess was giving her, hidden under cold cordiality. That annoying question in her eyes; What is Chuck Bass doing with a girl like you?

And more did she have, as crew shut themselves in the cabin, pretending to be oblivious to the raging passion on the other side of steel doors. After landing, they went straight home having rejected Nate's invitation to have dinner at his place. Blair wanted to hold on to the bliss a little bit longer before facing the world in the morning. Back in their building, she paused before going up to his apartment. Her eyes lingered on steps leading down to the basement, to place that was once her home.

''Come on,'' Chuck kissed the palm of her hand and gently ushered her in the elevator.

As soon as they stepped into his apartment, a whip of a sweet, expensive perfume greeted them. A girl with wide, grey eyes sat on the Parisian love seat in the parlor and Blair had immediately recognized her. The girl that was here only a few days ago. The princess, as he once called her months ago. Shade of grey which she would never forget, color of sky in December morning.

''I tried calling you.'' The girl spoke, looking at Chuck as if Blair was invisible and in Blair's head, it was rightly so. The newcomer was beautiful beyond belief, with a posture that suggested she was bred for social events and making perfect first impressions. Compared to Blair's 20$ Target outfit, the girl was clad in prim and elegant Chanel outfit.

''Your phone is off.'' She finished as if their phone calls were a normal thing, finally looking down to meet a pair of wary chocolate eyes. There it was, the uppity superiority which Blair so easily recognized in high-class people upon meeting them. The question swam in her grey eyes; What is Chuck Bass doing with a girl like you?

''I am Elle.''

''Elle?'' She repeated stunned, remembering a call with id E which made Chuck turn off his phone in Hamptons. Blair looked up at him, demanding an explanation. What was she doing here? What did she want? ''E?''

''And who are you?'' Elle asked loftily as Blair's eyes burned into frozen Chuck, fury and agony starting to dangerously build up in her chest as he remained silent, ignoring her drilling gaze.

''Me?'' She snapped tight-lipped, flashing a glare. Blair proudly drew herself up. ''I'm Chuck's wife.''

''A wife?'' Elle stammered, gathering her Balenciaga bag immediately. ''I'm sorry, I didn't know. I shouldn't have come.''

Blair stared as the girl and her husband shared a look, and sense of alarm increased to an unbearable level. ''What is going on?''

''We'll talk later.'' He said at last, his voice strangely distant, and that pallor that seized him on the jet was back in full swing. His jaw shifted as his gaze was still fixed on Elle. Manicured fingers, tended luscious hair, lasered off peach hair, blindingly white teeth - it was all there. A perfect match for someone like Chuck Bass.

''Talk about what?'' Blair snarled as he refused to answer the question and look at her. Did he not like looking at her? She was so livid and afraid - so afraid. What was with this fear that slithered under her ribs like a dry ice, leaving chills?

When the girl rose, it was as if an electric lightning hit the apartment and zapped the place where Chuck's hand was linked to Blair's. Chuck's head snapped her way as she recoiled away from him, as her eye zeroed on the belly in strange wonder.

''I'm really sorry.'' Softly spoke the future mother, rubbing her grown stomach. ''I didn't know he was married.''

''What?'' Blair felt like someone knocked all the breath out of her lungs. The ground under her feet spun, making her nauseous, but gravity didn't let her fall.

''Come on.'' Chuck forced through his teeth and pulled her elbow, wanting to lead her away, but Blair merely shook him off and reverted back to the belly, feeling herself start to tremble with dread.

''I didn't come here to make trouble,'' Elle apologetically explained. She drew up an envelope from her bag and offered it to Chuck. ''I thought you might want to see this. Ultrasound pictures of our baby.''

''Baby?'' It was as if someone else's voice came out of her mouth, talking in her stead. Because words that voice uttered were unfathomable, belonging to a nightmare. ''Your baby?''

After nobody made a move to take the envelope, Elle had placed it on a coffee table. All of a sudden, her eyes caught on the sparkling diamond on Blair's finger and she halted, staring at the thing.

''I'm sorry.'' She quickly said again, shaking a train of thought that seized her. ''I thought you knew. Goodbye.''

Blair didn't know at what point she sat on the couch. Her bag was sprawled on the floor, as if she might have flung it down, and there was a glass of water in front of her. She didn't know whether to take a gulp or smash it against the wall.

''How long have you known?'' She whispered shakily, staring at the crystal and rays of red sunset that pierced it. ''When were you planning to tell me? When the baby was born?''

He was somewhere behind her, silently standing. But his presence couldn't make him invisible, it was as scorching as the sun and as cold as the moon. Wherever he moved, she sensed him, whenever he inhaled, she exhaled with him. They were magnetic, they were meant to be and they were cursed.

''I saw her that night,'' Blair went on as tears began to blur her vision.

She snapped her head to look at him, but he immediately looked away, gluing his eyes to the window and the darkening sky.

''Do you hear what I'm saying?'' She rose, clutching her fists, ignoring knees that wanted her to sink on the floor. ''Look at me!''

The silence continued on as she glared at him, seething - asking him for answers for these absurd questions. Only he held them, only he could make sense of this ludicrous circus she just walked in, with audience that laughed at her and with a trapeze that led to dark, deadly abyss. He was there with her, refusing to throw her a safety rope.

''You can't look at me now, but you had no problem sneering at me that night!''

''Blair-'' He began, pinching the bride of his nose.

''No!'' She snapped, though her heart was screaming at her to come to him, to comfort him, to be in this together. But right now, she felt they've never been more alone in this apartment. ''Tell me how long have you known!''

Though scared away by the anger she felt, tears returned once again to pool in her eyes as she rewound all memories and days they spent in a seemingly perfect joy.

''Did you know while we were in the cabin? While I was saying 'I do'?''

''No,'' He knotted his brows, as if hurt, and took a step towards her. On self-preserving instinct, she took a step back. Chuck's face fell and he spoke in an undertone, as if speaking any louder would break his voice, would break something much tougher. ''I've only known for few days. I didn't know how to tell you.''

''Why?'' She screamed, pushing at his chest in indignation and fury that unfurled in her chest, spreading dark fire she foolishly thought would never appear again. But here it was, ready to burn her whole as it used to do. Her hands trembled as she pushed him again, teeth clenching together. ''Why was it so hard to say? Didn't you two sleep together? Didn't you have sex?! And now you tell me you didn't know something like this could happen?!''

''I didn't know what I was doing that night-'' He took another step towards her as tears stained her ferocious, porcelain face.

''You damn well did!'' Blair slapped his hands away, disgusted at him and his cruelness that once he wore as an armor. ''You wanted to get back at me!''

''Blair, I'm so sorry.'' He shook his head. ''I made a mistake that night.''

''A mistake?!'' She seethed as the fire brimmed and Blair flung the glass off the table, water spilling over the polished floor. At the same time, it extinguished the inferno with scattered crystal shards that reflected stirring sea surface across the ceiling. Her breaths came on heavy as she dropped down on the couch, dropping her face into her hands. The girl was going to give birth to a baby, potentially Chuck's. This was a small human being, growing in someone's belly, ready to face the world one day.

''That wasn't a mistake.'' She quietly said. ''That was a conscious choice to hurt me.''

Rubbing her eyes, shooting up fireworks on the black canvas of her lids, she tried to calm her breathing. Her heart, it was howling at the rising moon, trying to make sense of the situation. Part of her never wanted to see him again, part of her wanted to help him get through this.

Moments ticked by in silence. There was no sound of footsteps, only a hesitating hand as it caressed her back as if afraid to touch her.

''Forgive me.'' A whisper danced across the skin on her shoulder and all she wanted was to sink back into his embrace. But this was something that couldn't be solved with a kiss and a hug. This was something that was beyond them, something that could potentially hurt another human being.

She rose, heading towards the doors, unable to be with him any second longer.

''Wait!'' He called out desperately, rushing up to block her way. ''Don't go!''

''I need to be alone.'' She fought off the tears. Her heart clenched at the coldness of the night, at the loneliness that crept up on her and not really knowing where to go, but needing to be away from him.

''Okay.'' He nodded, gulping heavily. ''You will. You won't be going anywhere. I will be the one to go.''

She couldn't stomach watching him leave, watching him watch her before doors quietly closed and she was left alone to think this through.

''Thanks for calling.'' Ed barely managed those two words, offering a handshake.

''Don't mention it,'' Dan replied somberly, ignoring the way Morelli's hand trembled under the grasp, feeling his trepidation and raw fear. He hesitated leaving, considered remaining and just being there for him. But they were men, he thought to himself after a while. Ed had been preparing himself for weeks now for this encounter because Dan had messaged him before every appointment. Nobody could really be ready for something like this.

Words were redundant in this case. There was only understanding between the nervous glance of eyes.

Dan tightly nodded, glad to know their friendship bore a fruit. A rotten fruit it may have been, but it would maybe do good after all. Maybe Dan himself was good for something. Maybe there was purpose of his life after all. With this thought in mind, he entered town car he had been driving for past month and drove off, thinking to himself how misery only went after the best of our men.

Edward had been waiting for half an hour when an elegant figure emerged from private clinic's main doors. He observed her slow walk, which used to be brisk and flighty. There was no dance in her step anymore, no music. There was nobody to accompany her to these torturous appointments.

Lady searched the parking lot for her chauffeur who was supposed to be waiting for her, as he always did. Finally, her blue eyes had met his. The realization dawned on her.

''Annette,'' He began tightly, despite something painful growing in his throat, not letting him speak. He had never called her mother, not since he was a little boy. ''What are you doing here?''

The answer was redundant, but question needed to be asked. It was Manhattan's most notable Cancer Center. For a moment, she looked like a lost girl trapped in a decaying body of a proud noblewoman.

''Doctors said an operation was too risky,'' She slowly spoke, raising her eyebrows which were skillfully drawn. ''I had been let to decide.''

There was no overture, no easing into it. There was nothing but a blunt truth - and it hurt like hell. It hurt more than anything. They had grown quiet as they were both left at a loss for words. Only birds chirped in the background, announcing spring.

How ironic, how devastating were those feathery heralds of new beginnings, of new life. Yet right now, in front of the clinic, some were facing their very own end.

''Nonsense.'' He grit through his teeth as a tear slid down his tanned cheek. Only now had he realized how much time has he wasted running away from everyone he loved and from everyone that loved him. ''What are you waiting for? Why won't you do the surgery?''

''I'm waiting for you, Edward.'' She softly spoke, but didn't touch him, didn't show any sign of affection. She daintily coughed into her monogrammed silk handkerchief. Right now, he vividly remembered his mother's kisses when he was a little boy, her hugs she showered him with while his father was away. He remembered. And it made him cry harder. ''I'm waiting for you and Jackson to become brothers gain. I'm waiting for you to be part of the family, as you once were.''

It was midnight when the main doors opened and quietly shut. With questioning eyes, he entered the living room, but didn't come any closer. Blair regarded him for a moment. The clock ticked loudly, letting them know they had already lost too much time. They were cursed, yes - but they were also meant to be.

She flung herself into his arms, which always seem to be waiting for her, open and inviting. Chuck sighed in relief, kissing the top of her head as she let herself drown in his perfume. Without any permission needed, he lifted her chin and kissed her fiercely, letting her know how sorry he was, how much he needed her. He was holding her tightly, not ready to let her go just yet, silently wondering if he would ever be.

They moved to the bedroom, clothes scattered across the floor. As he touched her, as he broke her down with passionate kisses and built her up with ecstasy she felt, Blair knew the storm had only started to brew. In the darkness, under the covers, warmed by his body, she knew her heart was not done breaking. But the decision had already been made, she would not abandon him.

''When did you redecorate the bedroom,'' She asked as they lay stark naked, Manhattan veiled in a deep slumber. She looked around at the red walls and unknown furniture, strange feeling stirring in her guts.

''While we were in Hamptons,'' He replied sleepily, his breath warm on her skin as he stared at her, as if afraid she would disappear if he closed his eyes. ''I didn't touch anything else since we'll be moving anyway. I thought I might let you pick out new furniture for our new place.''

''I wish we could change what happened.'' Blair eyed the new chandelier with skepticism. It was too big, too sparkly, too much.

''You tried so hard to make everything right.'' Her husband whispered, brushing tips of his fingers across the smooth skin of her forearm. ''With your family, with mine, with everyone. I didn't have it in me to tell you I might become a father.''

''I know.'' She readjusted her pillows. There were too many of them. The fabric was just wrong, irritating her skin. ''But it doesn't help me now.''

''I'm furious with myself,'' Chuck pulled his hand back as she re-adjusted, laying it on the mattress between them as she shifted, but close enough to feel the heat of her skin. ''DNA test will reveal everything and then we'll be done with it.''

After she said nothing, after her eyes distrustfully wondered across the new wallpaper, Chuck felt sleep come knocking at his doors. Tired out by the journey, aimless wanderings around the city and hours-long love-making through the weekend, he struggled to get out words he wanted to say since Elle first came at his doors.

His hand stroked her cheek that was now dry and her lips that were now red with kissing, instead of wet with tears as they were only this evening. Blair's attention was caught. Her breath hitched at the gentleness of his touch. ''I know this is all too much. All we need to do is believe we'll get through this - together.''

Once again, she moved from his touch, whether consciously or unconsciously, he didn't know. His hand fell limply to the side as he gazed at her moving lips.

Blair exhaled tiredly, turning on her back to look at the ugly chandelier. ''I don't know what to do or how to deal with this anger I feel.''

She turned her head towards him and there was a shift of the tide. She whispered and snuggled closer to him, settling herself in the shelter of his arms. ''I just know I don't want this to undo everything good that happened.''

And that was love, my dear world; making a concision decision to stay with someone and be there for them, no matter what, day after day.

A/N: Please review, I'd be grateful to see what you think of the chapter. Let me just give a virtual hug to that one person that really liked Ed's story and his character. You're my homegirl and let me just say you won't be disappointed with what's to come. He has a big share in this story too and will always have a spot in my heart. :)