chapter 9: the understanding

Seth wrapped up his report and set down his quill, looking towards his door with a sigh. Considering how much had happened, no one would begrudge him being done for the day, but...he didn't hold himself to those standards. He gave his best from day to day as a matter of principle, but he felt the need to do so even more tonight.

And he didn't feel like he could rest, not just yet.

Not until he settled something.

Seth tidied up his desk, heading out the door and handing off the scroll to a servant to be delivered tomorrow without breaking stride. He kept heading through the palace, one destination in mind.

Atem's quarters.

Seth found himself slowing the closer he got to the Pharaoh's rooms. If he'd been visiting anyone else he could have lingered outside the door long enough to psych himself up, but it was common practice for the Pharaoh to have guards posted outside and Seth had no desire to be asked probing questions by loitering around like a fool. Once he went in there, he would have to know what he intended to say.

Of course, one could always rely on Atem to buck tradition – when Seth peered around the corner he saw the guards were not there; likely they hadn't been dismissed for the night, they must just have been patrolling nearby.

Seth chuckled. He'd thought the rumours Atem slept in Osiris' coils for safety instead were exaggerated, but maybe not. It was understandable for the guards to assume Atem was already protected, but Seth couldn't say he approved of this slacking off of security. It was all well and good to assume Atem was invincible up until the point where a traitor's dagger or poisoned dart brought him to a bad end. It was annoying enough he couldn't be persuaded to move to a room without a balcony.

Either way, it gave him the space he needed to take a breath. He stopped outside the door, still uncertain what he wanted to say. He knew he had made things difficult by jumping to escalate tensions with the Nubians, but given everything that had happened with Anubis it was obvious they had been out for war from the start. They might have given that ultimatum and tried to demand Atem cede the throne and his territories anyway.

Might have, might have, might have...

Seth knew he was trying to make excuses for himself. He'd had good reasons, but he had gone against Atem's wishes. And for some no doubt sentimental reason, Atem had taken limited measures to discipline him for it. He'd lost neither Millennium Item nor title.

The Pharaoh had asked for him specifically when they went to stop Anubis for good.

He hated to admit it, but he knew the Pharaoh had given Seth a second chance to win back his trust. He'd listened to Seth's frustrations.

Seth had been right to do it, he'd never back down about that, but the second thing that nettled him was the thought that Atem had been so prepared to surrender his own life. If Seth hadn't escalated things so quickly, he might not have been forced into such a difficult position.

Then again, it might have given Anubis the time to build a completely inescapable trap. If the pyramid was made stronger next time…

Hypotheticals.

He was wasting time on hypotheticals when actions were better. He and Atem simply needed to find some common ground, an understanding where Seth could protect the Pharaoh and the country's pride without compromising whatever strange thing Atem was prioritising that day.

"All right," he said. He raised his hand and rapped on Atem's door.

There was a pause, followed by a soft, "Enter."

Seth opened the door, finding Atem sitting down, leaning against the back of his sofa. He looked pensive, his expression showing neither pleasure nor displeasure at seeing Seth there. "Priest Seth-"

"I'd like to speak with you, if I may," he said, shutting the door behind him and rounding the sofa to stand before Atem. Belatedly he remembered he should probably kneel – he usually ignored protocol, but today he knew it would be pushing it. "Pharaoh-"

"You needn't do that," Atem interrupted, gesturing vaguely for him to rise. Seth swallowed, standing up and finding Atem's focus seemed fixed at some point in the distance. A sudden fear the king had already decided to dismiss him seized Seth, and he bowed his head and held the Millennium Rod across his chest.

"I must speak," he said again, raising his head. Atem was looking his direction now, though he looked even more discomfited than before.

"Will it not keep until tomorrow? Night has fallen-"

"No," Seth said. Interrupting like this doubtless wasn't helping his case, but he couldn't seem to help himself. "I realise I have some – responsibility for what has occurred the past few days. And I-"

The apology curdled on his tongue, and he struggled to find a way around his words. "-I want to try and find a middle ground, so that – if someone was to insult you and Egypt again-" Seth pinched his nose, sighed. Why did this have to be so difficult?

Something suddenly struck him as odd. Atem had usually jumped in by now, if not to argue then to challenge him on something. But he hadn't. He was still sitting, staring at Seth with an almost docile demeanour. "Pharaoh?" Seth prodded.

Atem almost flinched, straightening up. "Yes," he said, his tone clipped. He moved to stand. "I think that perhaps-"

Then he stopped suddenly, his eyes shutting and one hand going to his head while the other reached out to the back of the sofa to steady him. Seth reflexively stepped forward.

"Pharaoh!"

"Just -" Atem stopped again, moving both hands to hold him up. His eyes were open now but they looked unseeing, unfocused. And he was wavering on the spot, looking like he might faint any second.

"Stay there – sit down -" Seth said, "I'll fetch a healer."

"I don't…I don't need..." Atem started to say, but Seth turned around and marched to the door. He yanked it open and nearly walked straight into the Vizier, Siamun.

The old man studied his expression, then held a finger to his lips. "May I come in?" he said softly.

It was such a strange reaction Seth stepped aside to let him in and Siamun shut the door softly behind him. He looked over at Atem, who was now sitting on the sofa arm with one hand to his head. The old Vizier crossed to his side, looked him over and turned expectantly to Seth.

"Well?" he said to Seth. "You are taller than me; make yourself useful and lend a hand."

Seth followed him to Atem's side, hovering uncertainly until Siamun directed him to get Atem to lean on him. Together they helped the unresisting monarch over to his bed, where Siamun managed to encourage him to at least take off his cape, crown and some of his jewellery before coaxing him to collapse onto his pillow.

Seth hovered nearby, watching with concerned confusion as Atem tried to get up on shaking limbs only to be encouraged back down by Siamun.

"Shouldn't...see me like this," he mumbled, his usual clear tone of speech absent. He was normally so dynamic, still when he needed to be but otherwise it felt like he was always moving, always doing. It had been a running joke in the court that the older members would be glad when he aged into his twenties and lost some of that elastic energy that made him impossible to keep up with.

He was a far sight from that right now. His body had collapsed totally into his bed, his limbs limp and loose, eyes drooping like he didn't even have the energy to keep them open any more. It was more than simple tiredness, it was as though all the energy had been drained from his body.

"We don't need to be concerned with that now," Siamun said, a paternal note in his voice. He pulled the covers up for Atem, tucking the corners in and making sure he was settling down before he turned to Seth and gestured for them to go.

For a moment, Seth felt stuck to the spot. He teased the littler Atem frequently enough about his lack of height when he could get away with it, yet somehow he managed to forget how young Atem was on a regular basis.

Siamun headed for the door but as Seth turned to go, Atem suddenly seized his wrist. He managed to drag tired red eyes open and look up into Seth's blue ones. "Sorry…what were you saying, earlier?"

"I said-" Seth floundered for the one thing he wanted to say, searching for something simple. "Don't forget you can count on me from now on. And I knew you could summon Ra, Great Pharaoh. Don't forget that either."

Atem was starting to doze again, but at that he opened his eyes. "...What'd you just say?" he asked, suddenly looking more alert.

"I said, hurry up and go to sleep already." He pried Atem's hand loose from his wrist and set it back on his pillow. "The rest can wait until tomorrow."

Atem gave him a long, searching look..but then said nothing. He just shut his eyes and laid back down. Seth retreated from the room, finding Siamun waiting just outside the door.

"Is this all right?" he asked, lowering his voice. "Shouldn't we fetch a healer for him?"

"If he isn't better by the morning, absolutely," Siamun said. He saw Seth's confused look, lowered his own voice when he added. "I admit I've... seen this exact thing happen before."

"When?"

"When he first summoned Slifer. And then, when he first summoned Obelisk. Channelling that much magic seems to sap his strength – at least, until he practices and can call them again with little effort. Every once in a while he gets ill from overworking, but the way he is after summoning, it's...it's different somehow." Siamun's face drew into concerned lines. "I have to admit, I didn't expect him to jump to summoning all three gods at once today. It's bad of me, but it's almost reassuring to know it can still exhaust him."

"What?" Seth laughed before he could stop himself. "Why?"

"Because when he gets used to summoning more, his magic grows even more powerful," Siamun replied, expression completely sober. "And I've never seen anything like it before."

He looked off into the distance, his expression growing more grim. "I can't help but wonder where it ends. I feel as though the gods don't grant that kind of boon without expecting something in return. Something huge. When Anubis appeared today, I almost thought…"

"Don't be foolish," Seth said. "I've finally got it into the Pharaoh's head that we're just getting started. He'll need the rest of the court to be calm and steady his more reckless impulses if we're going to get there."

Siamun looked up at him, then chuckled. "You know, sometimes your bluntness seems to circle around to optimism." He straightened up, wincing as his bones cracked. "I'm getting old, High Priest Seth. Doubtless for someone as young as yourself, it's not at the front of your mind, but I'd personally appreciate not outliving another Pharaoh."

The old vizier's kindly and calm demeanour cracked for just a moment, sadness creeping into his expression. They didn't speak of the late king and queen much now – it wasn't considered good to dwell outside of state functions, and none of the court wanted to risk upsetting each other in public and especially Atem by getting too sentimental. But for once, Seth gave into it – he reached out and patted the old man on the shoulder. Akhenaden had always been more of his mentor than the late Pharaoh, but he'd respected both of the former rulers.

To Seth, their death had been the beginning of his priesthood and having real power in Egypt.

To Siamun, it must have meant watching the palace children he'd help raise be thrust into roles they were still a little too young for.

"Don't worry," he said. "If you want to die peaceful in your bed, I'm sure I can manage to guarantee that. Akhenamkhanen guaranteed us decades more peace because of the Items. We just have to capitalise on that."

"Well, we will once we seal that strange Item away," the Vizier replied, frowning. "And find out how on earth it was made."

"That's my next goal," Seth said, folding his arms over his chest. "The security around the Tome has to be increased, too. We've been complacent in our power until now. That has to change."

"Where do you intend to start?"

"With everyone in the palace," he said, then sighed. "Though I struggle to believe anyone on the sacred court had anything to do with it. To me, this smells of envy from below."

Now it was Siamun's turn to chuckle. "Are you saying you trust us? Perhaps the Pharaoh is rubbing off on you, also."

"I said I'd struggle to believe it," he said, trying not to sound put out. "Not that I won't speak to them also. Someone must know something. Someone's responsible for this mess."

More responsible than him, a dark voice in the back of his head said. Seth elected to ignore it.

He bid Siamun a good night and when he ran into some guards on patrol he sent them to guard Atem's quarters. They had protocols to tighten up. It might as well start with him.

Seth was tired, too. He longed to cast himself down to sleep and just put an end to this very long day, but his mind was still racing, replaying everything that had happened.

He knew the kingdom had to be ruled as it was in the present, yet he knew his mind was fixed firmly in the future. The whole time he'd seen only what he knew Atem could become, what he knew the Pharaoh and the court could achieve together.

He judged the people around him for acting like Atem was invincible, but hadn't he done the exact same thing? It hadn't even occurred to him calling the gods would be taxing, not when Atem made it look like second nature...or had been straining to give off that impression all this time.

It was at that moment Seth had another uncomfortable feeling prickling under his skin. He'd gone to Atem's quarters with the intent of smoothing over the past few days, trying to give some guarantee he wouldn't go against the Pharaoh's wishes again when it mattered, but…

He knew he couldn't promise he'd follow Atem's wishes in every situation. When it really came down to it, if it was a choice between doing what Atem demanded and what Seth knew would be better for the kingdom's security and the Pharaoh himself… he couldn't fool himself into making false promises.

But well enough. This was evidently his first test as a priest – to learn how to navigate his king's wants with what needed to be done.

Anubis may have been a fake, but Seth had learnt one thing from him: sometimes, you just had to operate in the shadows. Let the Pharaoh be foolish enough to try and make friends and allies out of his court and his neighbouring countries. Seth would be the realist, and between them they would ensure Egypt would enjoy another long, peaceful reign.

The way Atem had looked at him as he'd been drifting away came to mind again: that long, long silence, something in his eyes saying he'd known what had been going through his priest's mind. Every once in a while Seth would get that peculiar feeling, as he often did when they duelled; that Atem had seen something everyone else had missed and was just waiting for it to play out.

The diminutive monarch knew him too well. If he was ever going to go behind his back, he'd have to be careful.

The way Atem had looked earlier in the day came back into his head, too...right before he'd summoned Ra. The golden light, the strange way the Pharaoh was suddenly absent and there was just the paralysing glare of a god. He understood what Siamun had meant, thinking on that...he just didn't like to dwell on it.

Seth had always envied Atem's power.

In front of Ra, for the first time, he feared it.

Seth caught himself, chuckled. This kind of sentimental overthinking was much more Atem and the old man's department.

The Egyptian empire had the Millennium Tome, and Seth had no intention of ever letting it out of their grasp.

If magic intimidated him, the only thing to do was to learn more about it; bend it to his heel.

Maybe then he'd one day command a god of his own and king or not...he'd finally defeat Atem in a duel.