Chapter 42

Aubrey James' instructions were very specific. Rossini's. 1:30 p.m. No back-up.

But he'd never said anything about a friend watching from afar. Or showing up ten minutes early.

Oswald straightened in the taxi's faded leather seat. His pointed nose tickled from all of the stale cigarette smoke. Even with the windows open, it seemed that He brushed off some lint from his sleeves, then proceeded to spray some additional cologne on his thin neck. As he moved, he felt the zircon necklace rub comfortingly against his collarbone. It was like having a friend already nearby. Riding this cab to avoid unnecessary attention suddenly seemed less jarring than it had a moment ago.

He wiped condensation from the window. Rossini's was a very fancy restaurant, albeit nothing compared to Maroni's. Wide windows gave passenger-bys the perfect view of what they couldn't afford. Themed in emerald-green and rusty red, it shone with soft candlelight. Musicians played delicate cello music. Nearly every table, crowned with a vase of freshly-cut roses, was bustling with couples and families of upper societal crust. Except for one. Only one man was seated there.

Oswald scowled. Paying the driver, he climbed out into the soggy afternoon. His cane clacked against the cracked pavement. Just before entering, he halted. Confused by the absence, he glanced at his jewel-encrusted watch. Where was-?

A gentle tapping on the shoulder had him spinning. Ruby was standing before him, panting but grinning. "Sorry." she extracted a hairband from her coat's pocket. "But there was a long line at the store. I came as soon as I could, though."

"Ah," Oswald smiled in spite of his inner shell of anxiety. Ruby had that undeniable effect on him. "Worry not. What matters now is that we are here. And..." He hesitated as he looked her over. "You chose a lovely dress. Perfect camouflage indeed."

Ruby looked down herself before giggling at him. Did a little spin. Even though Oswald had told her to buy a dress that would mask her as one of the elite, he hadn't anticipated how lovely she'd have looked. Ruby wore a loose-fitting dress of deep blue, with thin veins of gold spreading across it. A crystal-blue shawl was draped over her shoulders. Simple black slippers adorned her feet. But best of all was the jewelry: a necklace of lapis lazulis adorned her collarbone, dark and glassy as fermented tears. A teal broch shaped like an iris was pinned to her dress, just below the collar.

Oswald held up a finger. "But," he took the hairband from her, "there is just one thing missing." Ruby immediately understood. Tilting her head forward, she permitted him to slide the band up her forehead and atop her head. All of the wild, uncombed curls that normally framed her face were pulled back.

He found himself smiling fondly at Ruby as she kept touching the hairband, tempted to remove it. Noticing his expression caused two rosy spots to appear in her cheeks. "What?"

"Nothing." Oswald replied. "It's just...odd to see you with your hair back." He gestured to his own visage. "I can fully see your face."

Ruby looked more than a little uncomfortable. "Is that good?"

Oswald nodded. "Very good." Then, somewhat sadly, he switched back to professional gears. "Remember the plan. You walk in, say that you reserved under the name-"

"'Fratelli'." Ruby cut him off with a playful eye-roll. "Yeah, Gina Fratelli." She chuckled lightly. "Next time, I pick the false name. Then, I order something quick that can be prepared quickly. I keep an eye on you and Mayor Muffin-top. If things get edgy, I'll be there." She placed a hand on Oswald's arm. "Trust me, dude. Nothing's gonna happen to you. Not with me around."

Oswald covered her hand with his. "The same goes for you, my dear." He squeezed her fingers before letting go. He straightened. "Now, Operation Intimidation can commence."

Ruby groaned playfully as she disappeared inside. "Why, oh why, did I show you 'Space Balls'?" Oswald chuckled as he eyed his watch. For the next seven minutes he kept switching his gaze between the time, Ruby, and Aubrey James. As the minute hand marched inevitably forward, Ruby ordered...a tiramisu? Oswald rolled his eyes as his friend tasted a small spoonful, then lit up with delight. James scarfed down a huge plateful of spaghetti, drowning it in two glasses of red wine. Wow. It would seem that someone was more nervous than he would have liked to admit.

At last, the minute hand traced the number six. Oswald straightened, brushed himself off, and limped inside. The bell tinged cheerily as the door swung open. As he stepped inside, the damp coolness of outside fell away like cobwebs. A warm comfort took its place. The air was rich with various cooking scents: sweet cinnamon, roasting bacon, fresh melon, smoky beef, and musky mushrooms. Music played softly, nearly muffled completely by the bustling chatter. As he hobbled, he caught Ruby's eye. She winked and flashed him a quick thumbs-up. He winked back, comforted, and made a beeline for James. The buffoon didn't even look up as Oswald sat down, keeping his cane at hand.

"A public place. Smart." He complimented his adversary.

Aubrey James arched his bushy brows as he kept chewing. He glimpsed up at Oswald. For a mere second, then reverted his gaze to his oily pasta. "Knowing your flare for the dramatic, I felt it necessary."

Oswald sniggered. "How flattering." His pale face grew serious. "But why exert myself needlessly? The public sees me as a man of action, of change. You?" He resisted the urge to scoff. "You are yesterday's sad joke."

James glanced up at him again. His gaze was supposed to look threatening.

Oswald continued, picking up speed like a steam train. "While Galavan humiliated this city, where were you?" He put on an embarrassed expression. "In a warehouse with a box on your head."

Aubrey James stared at him for a minute. Then, he spoke. "You're an unstable lunatic, Penguin, and people are gonna see right through you." Oswald's expression grew tense. His hold on the cane whitened his knuckles. Little did he know that, for a mere moment, Ruby felt exactly the same emotion as he. Quickly paying the bill, she slipped on the shawl again and crept towards the table. Oswald, meanwhile, kept his jaw taut as James went on. "I've got the judges, the union, the GCPD, and a whole team of legal experts behind me. What do you got?"

Oswald leaned forward with a smile. "I have me."

Aubrey's ugly face contorted as he laughed hoarsely. "You're psychotic!"

Oswald shot up.

Two men shot out of the bathrooms, their Tommy guns aiming at Oswald's face. A waiter, too, dropped his tray. In its place was a small handgun. There came a few gasps from the other customers, who remained frozen in their seats. Oswald stared at the weapons through a steel-like visage.

"Not this time, Penguin!" Aubrey growled. "My head will not be put in a box again."

Oswald's expression slowly morphed into one of amusement. "Ohh, you. So smart! Always one step ahead." James smirked, looking very sure of himself. Until, that is, Oswald snapped his fingers. Everyone in the restaurant rose, guns clacking as they were loaded. Nuzzles were pointed at James' men, as well as the man in person. "Never three." Oswald added.

In that moment, James' men had their guns knocked off by an unseen force. They stared at their empty hands before a rumbling noise distracted them. A mound of clay rose behind James' chair. Quickly took shape. Ruby grinned as she held up both arms. There, tangled in threads of sinew and blood vessels, were the two Tommy guns. From where he stood, Oswald could see the handgun sticking out of his friend's shoulder. One of her gun-arms nuzzled James' jaw. He looked ready to pass out. His expression was the helping of sprinkles on Oswald's sundae.

He chuckled. "I'm so pleased that you finally have the chance to meet my good friend, Ruby Sinclair."

"Oh, you're not the only one, buddy." Ruby caressed the man's flabby cheek with her gun-hands. "Too bad I can't turn him into a pincushion for bullets."

Aubrey blinked up at her through the rivers of sweat pouring down his face. "What?"

"Indeed, my dear." Oswald stepped forward, reaching into his pocket. Turning to Aubrey, he clarified. "No, I do not want you dead. What kind of fun would an election be if I were the only candidate, huh?" Promptly, he placed one of the 'Vote Cobblepot' pins onto the man's jacket. At this, Ruby let go. Her arms glowed brightly for a second. Then, the Tommy guns fell uselessly to the ground. Then, wincing, Ruby reached up and plucked the handgun out of her shoulder. The wound closed up in an instant. Straightening, she stood beside Oswald. He took her hand and squeezed it in thanks.

"You're right about one thing, though. I do need a little help." He smirked. "And I have just the right person in mind."

Stopping only to give Ruby time to change into more casual clothing, the duo made their way to the docks. The day was rapidly darkening, with more than a few showers dampening the air even more. By four o'clock that afternoon, there was hardly a trace of natural light. At first, Oswald thought that this was the reason behind Ruby's trembling. That was why, as they awaited for their ferry to leave, he bought her an overcoat. Touched, she slipped it on. But even then her shaking wouldn't cease.

Oswald placed a hand on her back. "Are you alright?"

Ruby gulped, not looking at him. "Y-yeah, m'fine."

Oswald gave her a look. Ruby noticed his silence and played with a lock of her hair. "What?"

"Really?" Oswald asked. "We've been living under the same roof for eighteen months, and you expect me to believe that?"

Ruby deflated like a week-old balloon. Puffing out some misty air, she crossed her arms and leaned against the barnacle-coated fence. "Okay, I'll spill. It's just..." She shrugged. "I'm not sure about this plan."

Oswald opened his mouth to answer. Ruby continued before he could. "Look, I know you've been visiting him and giving him gifts...but he's been in there for months. And even before then, he did horrible things. He strangled his girlfriend to death, framed Gordon of being a cop-killer, and..." She sighed. "He wasn't there for you."

Oswald stared at her.

Ruby, sensing his hurt, placed her hands on his shoulders. "Oz...I know he took you in. Healed you. But you were in Arkham for three months and he made no effort to stay in touch. I'm sorry, but..." She shook her head. "He hurt you, and that's something I just can't forgive."

"Ruby..." Oswald mimicked her gesture. She felt a bit more secure by his gentle grip. "I...I truly am touched by your concern. But I've seen the light come back to his eyes. I have seen time heal some of his wounds, and I believe that I can heal the rest."

Ruby looked into his icy-blue eyes and saw nothing but pure determination. Now that she thought about it, that may have been Oswald's most dominant trait. Even when he'd been under Strange's influence, he had been determined to be a good son to Master. When he'd freed himself...or rather, his hatred had freed him...that determination had only grown tenfold. No one could get to where he was without such passion.
Just as no one could talk him out of decision. Not even someone with whom he'd shared a body.

Ruby sighed. "Okay. Just...don't do that at the cost of your own wounds, okay?"

Oswald exhaled. A mixture of exasperation and affection. He placed a hand on her cheek. "Of course." Ruby gave a nod of thankfulness. A loud horn pierced the cloudy heavens, turning both their heads. Oswald's face lit up. Seeing it, Ruby felt unable to pout or worry any longer. Pushing it aside, she elbowed him. When he eyed her curiously, she winked. "Last one at the bar pays for the hot chocolate."

She could hear him yelling from the moment the door closed.

Forty minutes later saw Oswald back through Arkham's gates. On a bad day, it seemed.

Inmates thrashed and fought against the restraints of both the police and the orderlies. Tables and chairs were either shattered or flipped over. Screams, grunts, and curses echoed across the cracked walls. It was the very definition of 'madness'. Yet he kept his back straight and his expression cordial. As a true criminal would...and a mayor.

The new director cleared his throat. "I'm not sure who schedueled this meeting, Mr. Cobblepot. But...as you can see, I have been burdened with restoring order to this facility. And that is no easy task."
As if on cue, an inmate pinned an orderly to the wall and bit his chin. Screams and blood squirted in rapid succession.
Oswald was tempted to laugh out loud. From the looks of it, all of the Olympic gods combined could restore order to this crazy farm. Instead of saying that, he replied, "A man of your reputation should not have been sent here to clean up Strange's wreckage."

The new director seemed pleased. "Indeed."

Behind them, an inmate yelled as a cop and an orderly seized his limbs and carried him towards the stairs.

Oswald stepped into the small, cramped office. The new director quickly shut the door behind them. Looking around, Oswald wrinkled his nose. It was small and cramped, with most of the limited space being occupied by metal file cabinets. A cheap-looking desk played host to a huge pile of documents. The room reeked of cheap coffee and sweat. Making a mental note to have a sponge bath the moment he returned home, he perched on his cane. "You are aware of my ambitions? For office?"

The new director nodded. "Oh, yes." He stood in front of Oswald like a kid expecting his birthday present early.

Oswald decided to at least offer him a chance to earn it. "Once mayor, I can grant you whatever position you care to request. Gotham's Head of Psychiatry, Chair of Gotham's Board of Health, ect."

The new director tilted his head like a parrot. "In exchange for what, exactly?"

Oswald smiled. "Even though my victory is inevitable, I fear my campaign is missing one key element." When the new director frowned, Oswald went on. "A colleague of mine is locked up here. Unfairly."

The new director looked more confused than shocked or angry. "Are you suggesting that I release a convicted criminal out in the streets?"

Oswald's smirk widened. "Well, yes. For your betterment."

The new director shook his head. "But it would take extensive patient analysis, probational hearings, and so on-"

A loud, shrilling ringing overran the senses. Both men were showered in red light. A robotic voice boomed, "Lock-down is now in full effect."

Oswald smirked. Took a step forward so that the imbecile could hear him. "Of course, there's always Plan B: I give you nothing, but I make sure that you remain here forever. Not as a warden. No. I would see you scrubbing floors and emptying latrines."

The new director looked ready to pass out. Delicious. Oswald smirked and shrugged. "Options!" The man laughed with him, cringing throughout it all.